FabSwingers.com forum: Courtesy - putting the cat amongst the pigeons

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Now far be it from me to tell other people how to handle their business but having been a member for a while it seems to me, certain people just have no concept of how to be courteous or respectful -

So I have made a simple list and feel free to add or comment on it:

1: Being on a swinging site does not mean desperate so don't write like anyone should be grateful for your response

2: Don't write what you would not say

3: Don't have a cam, phone or pics - don't ask others for them

4: Be honest in your dealings - someone will share your tastes

5: If you get so many messages that you cannot reply - say so on your profile

6: If you send a monosylibic message - don't expect a response (effort in, effort out)

7: If you arrange to meet, do so - you said you would

8: Treat others as you expect to be treated

Did want to make it to ten but seem to have everything covered in eight.

Now being that most rare of things on this site (a single male), I do sympathise with just how inundated couples and single ladies must get, but courtesy costs nothing and helps all of us find what we seek.

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

And if it says on ya profile "We always reply, even if it's a no thanks" make sure you do!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i am always courteous and still no one writes

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Same in real life on here,some are lovely some are'nt

The lovely ones get the benefits

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Very good point honeypot, nice positive spin

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

One more just came to mind -

How exactly can someone be a friend without you ever having exchanged a word or message?

10: Don't send a friend request without sending at least one message

Made - 9: if you say on profile you will respond do so

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

same here, although I did receive a brief email back off one couple saying that I wasn't what they were looking for. I was so grateful for a reply back off them I sent them one back thanking them for having the courtesy to reply, even if it was a 'thanks, but no thanks'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i was polite to one woman and she blocked me?

everyone is different i guess lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When someone who you have messaged say's no for the 3rd or 4th time maybe you are not what they are looking to meet with.

Or has a specific area set for meeting people dont expect that person to be able meet with you and dont get nasty with them because you live 200 miles away

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Lois,

That's 11 and 12 - anyone for any more?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just want to add one thing ... when you've received your 120th message of the day .... sometimes you really havent got time to read them all, never mind answer, even with a no thanks....

sending 5 memos after that asking why someone has read and not replied, just earns you a trip to the block list.... be patient xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh yeah and i always reply to the ones that make me chuckle

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Check to see if someone has actually opened and read your message before sending a follow-on message an hour later ranting about lack of courtesy, being sarcastic about "thanks for the reply" and generally making yourself look a twat!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Horny - that 13, one just came to mind

14 - don't wink at someone then ignore any message they send you

There has to more out there - get them all out in the open

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Polo - gonna let the timing for chasing in as number 15 (on the basis it assume all you have to do is wait to hear from websites), but can't let the other in - they may just be being courteous in saying "thanks for the reply".

Not always sarcastic, you cynical people

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you always got" (or something like that) ... so if they deleted your message last week it's likely to be deleted again this week if it's the same message and you and your profile haven't changed either.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"Polo - gonna let the timing for chasing in as number 15 (on the basis it assume all you have to do is wait to hear from websites), but can't let the other in - they may just be being courteous in saying "thanks for the reply".

Not always sarcastic, you cynical people"

Errrrmmmmm so if I get sent a message and before I have even read it the same person sends another message saying "thanks for the reply"... you think they are not being sarcastic and are being couteous in anticipation that I'll reply lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dont send fancy a f*ck memos, or anything in txt spk

..... of course i fancy a f*ck ... but not with YOU lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Seconded on the text speak - not only does it make me feel old, most of it makes no sense to me anyway - use full words to form sentences otherwise I am always concerned about your ability to actually hold a conversation - save texting for texts.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

16: No person on this site is under any obligation to reply to another member’s message – deal with it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"dont send fancy a f*ck memos, or anything in txt spk

..... of course i fancy a f*ck ... but not with YOU lol"

So " i so cud wnk ova ya huny til i shootz my giz ova ya bod" doesnt do it for you ??

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Polo - yes they are bang to rights on the timing, but the thanks could just be polite - ease up on us poor guys, we are not all that bad, you must have had a least one good experience

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Lois - I'll have a consonant please carol lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"dont send fancy a f*ck memos, or anything in txt spk

..... of course i fancy a f*ck ... but not with YOU lol

So " i so cud wnk ova ya huny til i shootz my giz ova ya bod" doesnt do it for you ??

only if you provide me with a dictionary to read while you're doing it ... have lost count of the amount of times son has texted and i had to ring him to find out what the text said

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"Polo - yes they are bang to rights on the timing, but the thanks could just be polite - ease up on us poor guys, we are not all that bad, you must have had a least one good experience"

Of course I have

and I don't see anywhere where I say all guys do it or that it's just single guys who do it - though in this case the example I was thinking about was a single guy.

But please don't tell me I can't tell the difference between someone being a twat and someone being courteous... it's rather insulting.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Polo - Given the topic - I will not remonstrate as that would defeat the purpose.

Horny - think text is designed to only be understood by those who grew up without knowing you could play outside (youth is wasted on the young)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh yeah and when you've met someone once, don't automatically assume they will meet you again ... and certainly dont memo to tell them you have arranged to bring 4 guys round Tuesday, so make sure you're in ..... and yup, that really did happen last week

and when i told him that it wasn't gonna happen, he got all abusive and called ME a fake ... go figure

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Horny - does that mean I should cancel the surprise coach party? i'll lose the deposit, suppose we could always go to alton towers instead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Horny - does that mean I should cancel the surprise coach party? i'll lose the deposit, suppose we could always go to alton towers instead"

nah it's fine now you've asked, rather than told me lol

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

“how certious thanks for the reply people like u on this site are up ther arse n cant reply when desent men send a message r u all fake and timewasters I genuin and just expect a reply to much for u to do”

Mistake that for courtesy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"“how certious thanks for the reply people like u on this site are up ther arse n cant reply when desent men send a message r u all fake and timewasters I genuin and just expect a reply to much for u to do”

Mistake that for courtesy

just memo him back and say, can you please learn to spell, or use a spell check so i can understand what you have written and then have something, that makes sense to reply to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

on a site like this, no reply means not interested, the sooner people get that into their head the sooner they will all stop whinging about not getting a reply , its so boring.

i wouldnt dream of sending anyone a 2nd message if they didnt reply to my 1st,

not that i ever send messages lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh yeah another peeve is spelling and getting peoples name right

... if you're going to copy and paste the same memo to everyone, it would be sensible to use a spell check, i understand some people have difficulty spelling, but that's why god invented dictionary's and spell checkers ... and there's just no excuse for having really bad spelling on your profile.

and for petes sake, if you're going to put the persons name, at least make sure you change john and sheila to the next persons name

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By *imfromGlasgowMan
over a year ago

er...guess

"..........that's why god invented dictionary's and spell checkers ... and there's just no excuse for having really bad spelling on your profile.

................ "

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

If you have a single guys profile dont show you shagging someone on your profile

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Diamond - I assume that is unless you have their full permission to use the picture

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By *im53Man
over a year ago

Boldon

he he he

I get the hubby to take them,

then they both aprove them,

before any go on the site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How about: Make sure you use BOTH hands to write your message!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Diamond - I assume that is unless you have their full permission to use the picture"

Not sure that's what she means... isn't a great deal of point having a pic of you and another women unless you come with her attatched to your nob like that?

Most people will safely assume you aren't a virgin, so unless that person is part of your playing plans, then what are you trying to prove?

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By *imfromGlasgowMan
over a year ago

er...guess

"Diamond - I assume that is unless you have their full permission to use the picture

Not sure that's what she means... isn't a great deal of point having a pic of you and another women unless you come with her attatched to your nob like that?

Most people will safely assume you aren't a virgin, so unless that person is part of your playing plans, then what are you trying to prove? "

It's a futile attempt to prove that they're 'genuine' (whatever the fuck that means).

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

Hang on, there are plenty of pics in couple profiles of either half with "external" playmates. So this should either be removed, or not restricted to single guys.

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By *im53Man
over a year ago

Boldon

[Removed by poster at 30/10/09 20:24:40]

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By *im53Man
over a year ago

Boldon

if i get the message right,

you are trying to say that only the profile holder or holders should be in the photos.

why then does admin allow other people in as long as they can not be identified ?

this should be applied to cpls ,single fems as well as single guys,

It does seem funny that the ones complaining are the people who seen to get loads of mail any way,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

see now i'd rather not actually see a photo of anyone shagging anyone lol ... spoilsport me would rather just see a picture of them with their clothes on .... and save the rude ones for later.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

where can a buy a monosylibic I only have a Kawasaki...

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

i wouldnt dream of sending anyone a 2nd message if they didnt reply to my 1st

Me neither, but I'm starting to wonder if some people are waiting for a second message once they've read the first...

Obviously as a single man, 90% of my messages are deleted straight away. Of the rest, a lot seem to be read quite quickly, but are then deleted a couple of weeks later.

I can't be that difficult to decide about, so maybe they want to know more, but don't have time to actually say so.

It's that period of hope between "Been Read" and "Deleted" that is hardest to get used to on here!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you have a single guys profile dont show you shagging someone on your profile"

We get so many replies from single guys who have pics on their profiles with pics of them shagging WITHOUT a condom. Whether it's their former partner, or a shag-buddy we don't care - they get ignored, we wouldn't take the risk!

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

How about these two:

If you say you're interested in meeting someone, then also suggest who takes the bull by the horn in proposing/making arrangements (Don't just leave it up in the air for a "I'm female, I don't need to chase" vs "I'm male, if she's interested she'd have let me know" scenario.)

And:

If not interested, say so - most of us are grown ups and happily accept we're not everyone's cup of tea whilst stringing us along for the next year with "oh, we'll meet at some point"

Ok... Rant over.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

If not interested, say so - most of us are grown ups and happily accept we're not everyone's cup of tea whilst stringing us along for the next year with "oh, we'll meet at some point"

Ok... Rant over."

Well I have apologised for that

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

If not interested, say so - most of us are grown ups and happily accept we're not everyone's cup of tea whilst stringing us along for the next year with "oh, we'll meet at some point"

Ok... Rant over.

Well I have apologised for that

Ummm.... apologise again

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By *oubleplayCouple
over a year ago

north east manchester

I have to agree that is a very good way to conduct yourself.

We have a long profile and we do try to cover most things. Some fall asleep I daresay but those who don't are very nice people.

We have had critisism about our profile but actually from a couple who didn't like the do's and don't. We can't make anyone be respectful but we can deter the worst offenders...hopefully.

S.... you can write anytime if you're that nice.

Jan n To

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By *yber pimpMan
over a year ago

durham area

im old school, and never have txt on first date lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think a lot of people should take note of number 2, its my biggest hate on here, men who do not know me calling me a whore or a slut, comments like...id love to fuck a slut like you...is going to get you nowhere, ive always said the same thing, if your going out for the night on the pull and you saw a woman you fancied you wouldnt go upto her and say "hey slut can i fuck you up the arse?" so why talk to women on here like that, we are still women, yeah we are here for sex but then so are a lot of women who go out on the pull but you wouldnt talk to someone in the flesh like that so dont do it to me

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By *yber pimpMan
over a year ago

durham area

"on a site like this, no reply means not interested, the sooner people get that into their head the sooner they will all stop whinging about not getting a reply , its so boring.

i wouldnt dream of sending anyone a 2nd message if they didnt reply to my 1st,

not that i ever send messages lol

"
if people had the courtesy to respond to your first you would not need to would you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"on a site like this, no reply means not interested, the sooner people get that into their head the sooner they will all stop whinging about not getting a reply , its so boring.

i wouldnt dream of sending anyone a 2nd message if they didnt reply to my 1st,

not that i ever send messages lol

if people had the courtesy to respond to your first you would not need to would you

its not always to do with courtesy, as a single woman who meets single men i get unbelievable amounts of mail every single day, my profile says what i am looking for yet i still get mail from couples, men outside my age bracket, men who lives miles away etc now why should i bother replying to people i have made it quite clear in my profile im not looking for, yet some message me over and over almost demanding i reply, to the point i do to tell them they are not what im looking for and if they bothered reading my profile they would already know that, to me its more rude of them to keep mailing me when they have either 1 not read my profile or 2 read it and ignored what im looking for and mailed me anyway, than it is rude of me not to reply to them, when you get 50+ messages a day you simple dont have the time to reply to everyone, if i did all i would do while i was on here would be sending out 'no thank you' messages, thats not what i come on here for

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

S.... you can write anytime if you're that nice.

Jan n To"

I would, but spotted a spelling error in the twelfth paragraph.

We all have our criteria

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"SNIPED FOR SPACE

8: Treat others as you expect to be treated"

This is very true and also a rare thing on most websites not just here.

If someone says no thanks then that is their choice you cannot make them change their minds by badgering them and telling them they are wrong and that you are the best thing never to have happened to them!!!

We all have our own opinions of who we want to meet some will fit into that some wont.

I would never dream of saying to a guy who only meets women under a size 12 that he has to meet me nor do I expect to be told by anyone that we are wrong for playing the way we do

Its our choice please accept it

Shona

x x x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

good post but end of day the wind always blowin in someones dish! i do try and reply to mail even if its a thanks or no thanks but sometimes i just read and delete if i know im def not interested!!

same applies to the shadow mail with " u wannn fuck me today" yes about the head with a baseball bat" the common misconception is that single fems will meet with anyone but i dont think it is always the case!! some people are downright rude some just lookin for a bit of racy chat and anyone that sends a message in text should be shot! a bit of effort in a message goes a long way!! anyway hope u find what u lookin for and ignore the bad apples!! and u cant please everyone some would whinge nor they got the guy with the 12 inch cock n ten inch tongue with great personality!! xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

same applies to the shadow mail with " u wannn fuck me today" yes about the head with a baseball bat" "

LOL, I have a mental image of Ms Nawty sending that reply!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its been done a few times!! i have to say bein the cynical git that i am if i get a message with that i do tend to send a sarky reply but if i get an ok reply back i am more likely to chat cause then i know they do have a sense of humour and can handle a knock back if it comes!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Now far be it from me to tell other people how to handle their business but having been a member for a while it seems to me, certain people just have no concept of how to be courteous or respectful -

So I have made a simple list and feel free to add or comment on it:

1: Being on a swinging site does not mean desperate so don't write like anyone should be grateful for your response

2: Don't write what you would not say

3: Don't have a cam, phone or pics - don't ask others for them

4: Be honest in your dealings - someone will share your tastes

5: If you get so many messages that you cannot reply - say so on your profile

6: If you send a monosylibic message - don't expect a response (effort in, effort out)

7: If you arrange to meet, do so - you said you would

8: Treat others as you expect to be treated

Did want to make it to ten but seem to have everything covered in eight.

You wanted ten but got it covered in 8 ??? Nooooooooo

It is covered in ONE! As is everything in life.

1. Treat others as you would wish to be treated.

It's all encompassing. It's an umbrella term ....it's the only one needed. Covers all the rest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with the comments on courtesy but it can be difficult.

When I first joined I responded to everyone then spent so much time saying 'no thanks' I decided to put the specifics of what I am looking for on my profile (including age, no text speak, request for a face pic etc). I still get people writing in text speak and when I delete they want to know why!

The last guy I replied to telling him I don't have time to translate the writing into something I can understand sent me this today -

'u really think this is the site to prove ur big ego or to think u just too special.wat u got??pussy i suppose.so wats the big deal.calm down,get offf ur high horses.if u really think gettin a pussy is ma problem,then u need to think again.wonder why idiots like u who apparnetly are whores lokin for differnt dicks around'

.....which was pleasant! So I'm either rude for not responding or on my 'high horses' when I do!! It's a no win situation.

Any help with the etiquette of responses would be appreciated!

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

Any help with the etiquette of responses would be appreciated!

Standard reply to any rude div out there.....

"Having just tried to translate your pathetic attempt at literacy and being unable to speak twatitude, I have decided that I will NOT be sleeping with you at any time, ever.

I choose not to meet anally retentive, emotionally retarded feckwits, with the IQ of a lentil and a penis the size of my small toe nail - which by the way, has more personality than you ever will.

I am sorry that you felt the need to vent your desperation on me, but I am lead to believe that the more you wank, the more brain cells you kill off. Judging by the fact you are a prize tosser, I can safely draw the conclusion that you have shot 95% of your brain cells over your pyjama's at some point in the past 15 years and that you are really not to blame for being a total arse.

Genetics have alot to answer for..... maybe you should ask your parents (if you are not a total bastard) if they were total arsewipes in their youth.

Thank you for the laugh I got at your nonsensical ramblings but I'm off to play with the grown ups, most of whom refuse to pass the time of day with a total wassock like you."

He'll either be so confused with the long words by sentence two that he will have given up or he'll be spitting feathers and writing a reply........

P.S...... don't forget to send and then BLOCK him/it/them.....!

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By *yber pimpMan
over a year ago

durham area

"on a site like this, no reply means not interested, the sooner people get that into their head the sooner they will all stop whinging about not getting a reply , its so boring.

i wouldnt dream of sending anyone a 2nd message if they didnt reply to my 1st,

not that i ever send messages lol

if people had the courtesy to respond to your first you would not need to would you

"
sorry but excuse is very lame. reply to your messages give that person or persons thesame problem of too many messages they be to busy to bother you. simple

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