FabSwingers.com forum: Closest to death

By *gent Coulson OP Man
22 hours ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

So back in the 80's I was very much an adrenaline junkie taking part in lots of stupid dangerous sports.

I used to spend my weekends at Alanbrooke barracks near Thirsk, jumping out of aeroplanes with the Merlin Parachte Club.

With some 300+ freefall jumps in the UK and different parts of the world when on holiday, I had my first ever malfunction.

From just under 10,000 feet over the North Yorkshire countryside, I pushed myself out of the exit door, the intention, freefall to 2000 feet and pop the chute, it didn't quite go to plan as at the given height, I pulled the rip cord and checked the canopy, that is when my arse puckerd, my chute had not properly deployed (called a mal, for malfinction).

You tain for this kind of thing, but never expect it to happen to you, you practice cutting away and deploying your reserve, but in those seconds of seeing you chute not doing what it should, falling at 120mph and the ground comming into sharper focus, it's definitely a fuck me I am going to die moment, fortunately that training kicked in and I got down safely on the reserve, a little bruised from a heavy landing and don't mind admitting scared and shaken to fuck but so fucking happy to be alive

My wife at the time banned me from ever doing it again.

Anyone else had a close call or near death experience that made you fuck that, I am not doing that again

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By *eorge AtazderMan
22 hours ago

Cheddar

Not quite the same way but before going to uni. We had one last blow out before all going our separate ways. I had far too much drink and the latter part of the night only exists from what people told me - including taxis not wanting to take me home.

I woke up with my pillow covered in watery sick that I had no knowledge of doing. The fact that I could have chocked on my own vomit and not woken the next morning gave me such a fright that I don’t think I’ve been d*unk in the nearly 30 years since.

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By *ynamite500Man
22 hours ago

Angus

I've had a few rounds going past my head by a few feet...if you hear the crack you know it was in your direction,if you hear the crack and the thud, you know you were the target!😳

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By *hamallamadingdongMan
22 hours ago

London

I was driving. She gave me a blowjob. An incredible one. I closed my eyes and nearly crashed. Never again.

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By *ynamite500Man
22 hours ago

Angus

"I was driving. She gave me a blowjob. An incredible one. I closed my eyes and nearly crashed. Never again."

Hahahaha🤣🤣🤣 I can just see the police accident report...girl on a gurney with a cock in her mouth!🤣🤣🤣

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By *lassiccokeorpepsimaxCouple
22 hours ago

Cardiff

Not a sport or anything but had a serious asthma attack, went into respiratory failure and genuinely had the out of body experience that people describe, I had this sense of doom and I could see myself from above in resus and everyone around me. Was spooky.. and on reflection quite interesting.

I wrote a poem about it afterwards and it made me appreciate life A LOT more.

Mrs.

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By *orphia2003Woman
21 hours ago

Tonypandy.

Almost drown in India. Thought I'd got over it quite well until I had a massive panic attack whilst SCUBA training and couldn't finish the course.

Now can't handle waves when out of my depth.

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By *hamallamadingdongMan
21 hours ago

London

"I was driving. She gave me a blowjob. An incredible one. I closed my eyes and nearly crashed. Never again.

Hahahaha🤣🤣🤣 I can just see the police accident report...girl on a gurney with a cock in her mouth!🤣🤣🤣"

It could be a skit from Scary Movie.

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By *dstefiMan
21 hours ago

Solihull

Almost walked into a plumb vertical gully on Quinag (Scottish mountain) in driving hail and zero visibility on the summit ridge. I literally caught myself about to dance on 600' of nothing, yanked myself back and found a safer way down.

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By *erdyHollyTV/TS
21 hours ago

In a galaxy far far away

Yes

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By *ifelover999Man
21 hours ago

Eastbourne

I hit a lamp post at 70mph in a cortina when id just past my test no seat belt couldnt walk for 6 months cos the sub frame pushed back onto mu legs which held me from going through window

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By *rHotNottsMan
21 hours ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Done some very stupid things as a kid , camped on an estuary in north west Australia with saltwater crocodiles, grated and consumed large amounts of nutmeg, survived the prop shaft flying up into the back of transit on the way to Glastonbury, I was in the back, luckily sat on 96 cans of special brew which saved my ass, literally

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By *ortheastFarmerMan
21 hours ago

Northumberland

Ate goat curry that was given to me by a local on Afghanistan, tasted amazing, till 2 days later I was on a drip for dehydration and server diarrhoea.

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By *H7in5Man
21 hours ago

Chesterfield

I had bacterial meningitis when I was a young baby, was lucky enough to make a full recovery.

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By *WB85Man
21 hours ago

Staffordshire

I have a yearly trip to the Nurburgring with a group of car friends.

On the Autobahn last year 180mph in my Supra and a car pulls out...wasn't my fondest memory.

Manahed to stop in time....but was a close one.

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By *eavy-Metal-CoupleCouple
21 hours ago

Liverpool

While on a Family Holiday to Marmaris in 2006 we just missed the bombings they had by minutes due to getting back to the hotel for the coach as it was our last night. When we landed back remembered my dad got interviewed by M.E.N newspaper and Sky news.

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By *antiefunMan
21 hours ago

london

Un patrol in Afghanistan turned into a 16 hour on and off firefight didn’t think I was gonna make it some friends didn’t

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By *londebiguyMan
21 hours ago

Southport

"I had bacterial meningitis when I was a young baby, was lucky enough to make a full recovery."

The same for me.

So many kids died of it.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
21 hours ago

Reading

Yep two. None was doing a full spin on the motorway. Escaped without a scratch. Second was about to give birth and I was laid on my back and the baby started to cut off my air supply.b not even it and she was attempting matricide. Neither time was I in the least bit scared. I think I would go gently into the good night.

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By *pTheDale40Man
21 hours ago

Coventry

Had a heart infection when I was 22/23 maybe. I thought it was a random stomach bug until I was unable to use any of my body from the waist down and I was rushed off in an ambulance. According to the docs I was hours away from dying. Serves me right for being stubborn and not going docs sooner after 3-4 days of constantly being sick despite not eating / drinking anything!

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
21 hours ago

Reading

Oh I also had a brain infection. Someone is out to get me for sure.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
20 hours ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I once had someone nearly blow my leg off, when they had a negligent discharge. Luckily it was only a blank.

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By *mileyculturebelfastMan
20 hours ago

belfast

Shot at 3 times.

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By *k62023Man
20 hours ago

Hertford

When my ex found out I had a mistress - thought I was going to be killed then lol

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By *anus7Man
20 hours ago

Chester

Take your pick from the following;

Crashed a hire car on holiday in Irish Republic on a bank holiday in August 82,rolled into a ditch - full of water. Kicked out the windscreen and escaped.

March 84 - riding a Honda 900 back home along A41 to Ellesmere port and a taxi did a surprise U turn in front - I piled in and went through the back window.

Bike was goosed,I had pins in my legs for a year. Eventually got the bike fixed on insurance and sold it on (got a Ducati soon after)

8 years ago,right on retirement, had a cardiac arrest,without realising it and 10 days later ,ended up in Liverpool hospital for a 4 way bypass.

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By *eightsB4DatesMan
19 hours ago

north east

Closest was ignoring a pain in my chest as it happened exactly as was wretching trying to be sick so thought I had just pulled something in my chest from being sick so much in the last day, I couldn’t walk more than a few steps without collapsing from cramps as was so dehydrated but genuinely thought I’d be fine in a few hours, the lass I was with at the time came over to check on me and seen the state of me and made me go to hospital I reluctantly agreed to go to the minor injuries at ashington when I got there they stuck a drip in me and got me an emergency ambulance to cramlington they said I was already at the point of body starting to shit down and was lucky I came, they expected me to die they warned my parter to follow the ambulance over as might be last chance to see me then when she arrived at cramlington the staff there took her aside and warned her again how bad I was and that may not make it even the paramedics who took me to cramlington thought I was a gonner ha turns out extreme dehydration had caused my blood to clot and several clots went into my heart I wasn’t aware a sickness bug can kill you but one of the nurses told me it’s a lot more common than would think

Funny thing is I met that lass on a night out that I debated heavily actually going none of my mates were out so decided at last minute to go out alone was at a low point as the kids mam had promised for months she was going to move back in then told me that day she wasn’t so deciding at the last minute to go out that night actyslly saved my life

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By *heron ShanMan
19 hours ago

Durham

I got some Mars Bar stuck in my back teeth, never though I would make it through but, I lived to tell the tale.

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By *4bimMan
19 hours ago

Farnborough Hampshire

crashed at a moto gp test session at mugello at over 200mph. front tyre delaminated wrapped around the forks and sent me over the top on the straight and i ended up bouncing to san donato into the fencing.

dont remember a thing just remember visions of myself and next seeing the medics over my body as they were pumping my chest in the helicopter.

motogp had moved to 1000cc and the tyres were not good enough for the sheer high speeds and as a result of the heat build up they just let go considering before braking at san donato it was common to be over 320km/h then brake to 90km/h in a blink of an eye.

weeks later at the race event kawasaki had a rider suffer the same crash i did but he some how walked away.

i was the crash test dummy

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By *tannersMan
19 hours ago

stanley

Had a couple of big accidents in rally cars when younger, but with the roll cages and other safety features probably not really at risk.

Closest was in summer 2016 ( Saturday before England won the cricket World Cup vs New Zealand) . I took ill, all outwards appearances was a heart attack, blue lighted into hospital. Turned out to be a nasty chest infection that had worked its way into the pericardial sac and doing a great heart attack impersonation. Made a full recovery but during all the tests they did find a minor heart irregularity that I have checked 6 monthly.

I’ve helped give CPR to and old fella who collapsed on the golf course close to us. That was scary , as was the air ambulance landing on the fairway beside us.

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By *rad670Man
19 hours ago

South Lakes

I was whinched off the last couple of visible metres of my boat 7 miles out to sea after it took on water and then went down within 15 minutes in a rough sea, quickest anything ever went down on me but not as pleasurable.

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By *xSirenaxxWoman
19 hours ago

Gloucestershire

Mid‑20s, whitewater kayaking in the Alps. River was way higher and faster than expected, but we went for it anyway. Young and stupid.

I got smashed on a drop, ended up upside down pinned against a gorge wall, totally unable to roll. Had to bail. Got ragdolled along the bottom, coming up for air a couple of times before getting dragged under again. Pretty sure if I’d gone under once more, I was close to drowning.

Mate chased me down grabbed me as I half came up again and hauled me onto his boat. The people watching from a bridge thought I was going to die.

My boat got pinned too, they had to abseil the gorge to get it out later.

Still kayaked but nowhere near my limits. Definitely a “not doing that again” moment.

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By *enuine_J87Man
19 hours ago

Eastleigh

Was born almost dead, umbilical cord wrapped around my bevk 2-3 times and my head was blue, obviously I don’t remember that one though.

Was door knocking when I was younger, there was a section of trees and grass and I just thought going through would be an easy shortcut, I jumped down this ledge and ended up on a road with a car coming right at me, it’s the only time in my life I just stood still for about 3 seconds because I just couldn’t think what to do, then at the last second I jumped to the side, luckily the car didn’t swerve that way, missed me by inches.

In Tenerife we were on the 5th floor of a big villa, after a heavy night drinking we were messing around and broke our clothes line thing. So I climbed onto the balcony, jumped across the gap to the next one and grabbed theirs, jumping back over the gap while holding that was incredibly stupid and nearly dropped to my death.

Some way worse stories in here though!

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By *Effy-Woman
19 hours ago

Scotland

I was in a pretty bad car accident on a busy motorway.

The car was stopped from rolling over by the central reservation. By some miracle, no other cars were involved and I walked away shaken up but unscathed.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
19 hours ago

SW1A1AA

Mines nowhere near as bad as others but I fell down the stairs and ended up in a coma for 3 and 1/2 weeks

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By *007ManMan
18 hours ago

Worthing

Someone had a new car and drove at speed with me as a passenger. Braking at the last minute at various junctions and roundabouts.

Idiotic.

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By *astManOnEarthMan
18 hours ago

nowhere

I once had a fight with a 747.

Not a nice way to get the adrenaline flowing

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By *adyBugsWoman
18 hours ago

not local even if it says I am

[Removed by poster at 29/06/26 18:21:43]

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By *eautyandthebeast86Couple
18 hours ago

Somewhere in Norfolk ask :)

Rolled my car 4 times ended up in a field upside down, had to be cut out of it. Thought that was going to be it but miracles do happen as I didn’t have a scratch on me…

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By *lackadderMan
18 hours ago

Eastbourne

I nearly drowned aged 16 getting cramp on a long swim. A few car crashes, two of which I was lucky to walk away from. One mid air collision that only lightly damaged both aircraft. A helicopter gearbox failure at low level. Shot on the head once, it didn’t penetrate but left a dent I can still feel. Attacked with blades twice.

I had a rough paper round.

A friend once said to me ‘you may not be trying to kill yourself but you aren’t trying very hard to stay alive’

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By *rectus HumongusMan
18 hours ago

uranus

Years ago stayed in Miami witv with brother and his wife and daughter and my then Wife and kids.

Unknown to me the following was planned we arrived on top of a hill with great view of the ocean.

At this point my worst fear is drowning they organised me a flight over the clear clear water around the islands of where the likes of Madonna stayed.

You could clearly see Sharks swimming around waiting for next me they were sharpening the knives and forks.

The plane had pilot in front ne behind him he had controls i had steering wheel as such as a backup.

As we were heading back plane started nosediving to the ocean pilot shouting I am having heart attack get plane to pull up the so I am shitting myself sharks were ready for dinner.

As we were very close to water the startjng to level and rising.

The pilot the fucker was not having heart attack he thought it would be fun.

When we landed I lost the plot all my family were rolling around laughing I had to find a loo as shit myself.

I actually put on my I flew a plane.

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By *rectus HumongusMan
17 hours ago

uranus

This may trigger people.

Now this one which again is true and happened in 2004 and logged on my medical records.

I do not remember anything about how I ended up where I did to this day.

My car was upside down on a road I was thrown from car and in middle of the road.

I was clinically dead 3 times in 45 minutes now this is like I am back there.

I remember being on a trolley on a rail carriage and either side were people I knew had died and all waved and smiled.

As i moving to front of the carriage both my grannys were sat together when alive hated each other.

Further down say ex neighbours and two men I did not know them (more about them at the end).

The brjght light that is portrayed in films was not as bright as imagined in front of the light was my mum and dad my mum was talking to me holding my hand it felt pyhysical. She said do not worry you are safe.

Then suddenly there was darkness then back on trolley my dad was there talking and crying which badly affected me.

Then again sudden darkness and then on trolley my mum and dad and my cousin Paul who died age 3 said thank your carrying him in the tiny coffin.

Finally my mum said this is not your time your wife at time was waiting for me with my girls, suddenly I woke up clueless where I was and pipes and tubes in me.

Lot more involved than that but not sharing that.

Turned out medic were not going to try bring me back after 2nd time thankfully my youngest girl persuaded them to try again she in effect saved my life.

Just going back to the two men I did not know, in 2021 I found my cousin the sister of my cousin who died on facebook and told her all about this and she sent other pics of my cousin.

I was at my daughters one time and got a pic sent I actually dropped my cuppa as the pic was my gran with a

bloke turns out he was one of the men i did not know on the train was a grandad as never ever seen a photo of him before.

All I can say in my experience there will be someone waiting at the other side

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By *idssissyTV/TS
17 hours ago

Nr cricket ground birm

The closet was a night out in uni when a friend persuaded not to get d*unk for the first and only time and go and something stupid

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By *annyC73Man
17 hours ago

North West

Back in NI in 1993 when I was a student , I had a handgun pointed at me that jammed. He started hitting it shouting fuck fuck fuck and I was still froze to the spot. We both ended up looking at each other then we ran off. Took me 5 mins to realise I had pissed myself. I always imagine he saw the piss stain and felt sorry for me. 😂

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By *its_and_TiramisuCouple
16 hours ago

North Somerset

Anyone else had a close call or near death experience that made you fuck that, I am not doing that again

Does actually dying count? If so....done that!

Obi

*to quote Monty Python....."I got better" 😇🤷‍♂️

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By *abulincsCouple
16 hours ago

near a bridge

Yes if rtc left me in hospital machine breathing for me a very long road to recovery 21/2 years off work learn to walk was a close shave but still drive

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By *a LunaWoman
16 hours ago

Wales

1. When I was 17/18 years old I got run over in Cardiff City Centre (opposite the Blind Institute, ironically). There were two lanes of traffic each way at it was a crossroads junction. I crossed one lane of traffic only to have to stop as the second lane was busier. A lot busier.

A car is coming along, slowing down for the lights, but I can see the guy is chatting to his companion and not looking at the road ahead at that moment so unable to see me. The lane of traffic directly behind me was so busy I couldn’t step backwards. I mentally brace for impact, the guy looks at me surprised, the car hits my leg, I realised going under the car was my only chance of avoiding being thrown backwards into the other lane. I disappear under the car. My life literally flashed before my eyes.

Thankfully, I didn’t go all the way under, but the guy has come to a stop on my leg/foot. I can’t move. An AA guy who must have been in the lane of traffic behind me and saw what happened springs into action, he puts his coat under my head and murmurs some words of comfort. He rearranges my skirt so I’m not flashing the passing buses. At this point he organises a group of folk to lift/push the car off me. I ask him how bad it is, he says he can’t tell as there is a lot of blood. He kneels down and keeps me company, holding my hand and talking to me until an Ambulance arrives. I’m very tearful and just want my mum, and he gives me a hanky. As I go into the ambulance I ask him if he wants his hanky back, he says I can keep it. Never got his name to say thank you.

Then get taken to the Cardiff Royal Infirmary A&E where I get a lecture from a Police Officer. My big toe had split open from the pressure of the tyre, and had to be stitched back together, broke a bone, and I have suffered ever since with toenail issue, also had a tyre mark imprint on my foot/ankle for quite some time after. I still get twitchy around roads to this day!

And now to a much less dramatic one, but it scared me just the same:

2. More recently (pre COVID) I was trying to change my light fitting in my bedroom but somehow I got the whole fitting component off and I had this bizarre overwhelming urge to touch it, almost like I was being magnetically drawn to it. I did. And I electrocuted myself. I felt it enter my body, and go all the way to my feet. Luckily I had my EVA Birkenstocks on (made from Rubber) and I assume the voltage wasn’t high enough to kill me.

So now I’m wary of light fittings too.

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By *akedMMan
16 hours ago

Witney

Had a fair few close ones when riding motorcycles. And driving HGV

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By *ootnootboopCouple
16 hours ago

Cheshire

So.....

Ess- last year had a kidney stone that blocked my left ureter. Went into kidney failure and developed sepsis that turned into septic shock. Had to have surgery and was told to say goodbye as it was unlikely she'd wake up. Well, she's strong as she's here to tell the story!

A- got a peanut stuck in my windpipe and started coughing, that made me vomit, inhaled that, developed aspiration pneumonia and spent two weeks in the ICU on a ventilator 🤣

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By *ndycoinsMan
16 hours ago

Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton,

When the Artillery got their maths wrong on exercise and started dropping it on us,then everyone followed their target area too.Mortars,GPMGs.Shouldnt have been surprised,a couple of weeks earlier they had taken the bell tower off a village Church in Cyprus.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
16 hours ago

couple, us we him her.

Died after head trauma, brought back didn't know what they fuck was going on managed to force myself out of the ambulance got a couple of hundred feet only to pass out and smashing my head for a second time, thankfully I didn't need resuscitation, but there was lots and lots of blood and the worst headache of all time and broken ribs.

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By *ecky and justCouple
14 hours ago

Godalming

Had many accidents when racing bikes at reasonable high level.

But worst was in 2007 at Brands Hatch

Got taken out by another rider and broke my neck. Snapped the back of C4 clean off and disassociated all the muscles C4 to C7

Was laying there unable to move my head and thought oh great, I’m paralysed from the neck upwards..! 😂

Had to take 2 years out and missed my IOM TT year.

But probably even worse, was mentoring a chap with new firearms certificate and he ND’d past my left ear. He’d been walking around with safety off.

Only a .22RF but would’ve killed me dead.

Didn’t sign him off for a year after that.

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By *ellhungvweMan
14 hours ago

Cheltenham

Got myself into a bit of a predicament ice climbing in Torridon in the late 90s. Everything was going swimmingly until I found myself having to run the rope out with minimal protection in a very exposed, cold and windy route getting pummelled with spindrift. It was a long way down, I was tiring quickly and my legs just gave way which meant one of my crampons just seemed to pop out and I basically found myself hanging off a half broken tooth of a single ice axe that was torqued into a frozen crack that was rapidly disintegrating. I have no idea how I managed to hold it or how I managed to get my legs back onto some kind of hold but it was a long time before I climbed again. If that tooth hadn’t have held then I would have pulled myself and my partner off the cliff.

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By *eekaboo BellyMan
14 hours ago

Bradford

I had a gun pointed at me and the trigger pulled. Was unloaded. Was a real gun as I saw a few bullets stashed around later. Also been hit by a few cars, hospitalised once through that

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By *ander04Man
14 hours ago

Durham

I've been shot three times in Iraq during Sadr City, body armor took the hits. I was still pretty bruised from that! Running up to IED's and setting them off with a 50.Cal or Incendiary Frag, bruised lung from JSS Sadr with Lobb Bombs. I was hit with two IED's and an EFP, ended up with a fractured my hip in two places and broke my nose. Plus enough shrapnel to piss off all metal detectors in every Airport...lol.The crazy part is at some point i realized i would be good no matter how bad it got, and I'll walk away or limp away. However, the worst injury was a "Dear John Letter" from a serious relationship with a girl from Uni who broke my heart while i was in Iraq...

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By *aked beachMan
14 hours ago

Just A Stranger In A Strange Land.

Back in the early 80’s prob 83/84, I was driving on the M25 in the outside lane overtaking a lorry going 70 or more when a tarpaulin came off and wrapped itself around my windscreen. This was in the days before electric windows were common so trying to steer straight I had to wind the window down and pull it off.

That was ‘kin scary

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
12 hours ago

Transsexual Transylvania

Right after the big floods in Natal in 1987, my uni kayak club did a "trip" down the Umgeni river to see what the flood damage was like.

Long story short, I tried to shoot one of the nastiest rapids on the river, in flood conditions; fell out at the top, lost my grip on the boat, and my paddle, and got pulled through a series of "haystacks" (standing waves caused by the channels in the river bed). It was like being caught in a muddy washing machine. My lifejacket was little help, and I came within a whisker of drowning.

I lost the boat and paddle to the river - it ended up wrapped around a rock a few kilometres downstream. But at least in still here.

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By *vonne5exMan
12 hours ago

Doncaster

"So back in the 80's I was very much an adrenaline junkie taking part in lots of stupid dangerous sports.

I used to spend my weekends at Alanbrooke barracks near Thirsk, jumping out of aeroplanes with the Merlin Parachte Club.

With some 300+ freefall jumps in the UK and different parts of the world when on holiday, I had my first ever malfunction.

My wife at the time banned me from ever doing it again.

Anyone else had a close call or near death experience that made you fuck that, I am not doing that again

"
seen a couple deploy their reserve jumping out of C130s nearest for me was in Belfast as a young squaddie, we where patrolling back to our Base when we noticed kids dicking us (signalling our position) we went to ground and seconds later the derelict building where we would have been exploded raining house bricks down on us, luckily no one got hurt

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By *utoftheBluexWoman
12 hours ago

Bot Farm

Was born almost dead, umbilical cord wrapped around my bevk 2-3 times and my head was blue, obviously I don’t remember that one though.

Same. Two weeks in an incubator

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By *peshul91Man
11 hours ago

NOTTINGHAM

Lucky to still be here, hit by a car on my bike when younger, paramedics told me if I wasn't wearing my helmet I would be gone.

Broke my neck twice. Once in a bike once on a skateboard, broke the same bone both times, got up and walked away both times too.

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By *aked beachMan
2 hours ago

Just A Stranger In A Strange Land.

"Was born almost dead, umbilical cord wrapped around my bevk 2-3 times and my head was blue, obviously I don’t remember that one though.

Same. Two weeks in an incubator"

Apparently when I was born my heart was beating 3 times quicker that it should have been. It slowed after about a minute, Dr. Said that if it hadn’t it would have exploded.

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By *l_xxxMan
1 hour ago

South leeds

Car crash. Hit by a d*unk driver with a horrendous arrogant attitude (he'd been nicked before).

I was lucky, brother was in hospital 3 weeks but lucky. Our friend wasnt lucky. Still have nightmares about it.

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
15 minutes ago

Transsexual Transylvania

Not quite as close. During my stint in the army, my driver and I were coming back from checking the comms setup at one of the infantry companies near Pietermaritzburg. Driving though a rural township, we saw a guy walking along carrying a pump action shotgun. My gung-ho driver screeches up next to him, jumps out and challenges him - where's your permit for that?

At the time, Natal was an unrest hotspot - the recently unbanned ANC and the Inkatha Freedom Party were in virtual civil war with each other to assert control over the local population. The place was awash with illegal firearms, homemade firearms, pangas, assegais, you name it. That's why we were deployed there - to support the police and keep them apart.

Anyway, he mumbles something, shows us a scrap of paper with a serial number that doesn't match the weapon... then a carload of guys armed to the teeth pulls up. I have a 9 mil. My driver is unarmed. These guys jovially tell us that this guy's shotgun is above board; they're KZN police (Kwazulu Natal Police - an official police force with limited powers that has jurisdiction in areas allocated to the Zulu administration of the IFP (Inkatha). Nominally, they're on our side. In reality, plenty of them are happy to bash ANC heads.

We nodded and smiled, took their word for it, said "Salani kahle" and buggered off as fast as we could while still looking dignified. Maybe they were KZN police. Maybe they were ANC cadres. Maybe they didn't want the hassle of two murdered, stupid white soldiers asking questions. Whatever. I swore I'd never try anything like that again unless I had a section of infantry behind me.

To illustrate how that could go wrong, an old uni mate of mine, when he was a signals officer, like me, ended up shooting and killing a guy who went crazy with a panga at a temporary roadblock, also in Natal - very similar circumstances.

Young, and stupid, is not a healthy combination.

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