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"Just for fun, post a problem or dilemma not real... and the person below needs to give you some advice in Dear Diedre style Dear Diedre, I think my boyfriends a vampire. What should I do?" Book a weekend break to Pompeii - then stand next to his pile of ash claiming he was a roman dignitary and make up a ton of lies about his role in the tragedy … like he set off the eruption digging for gold…for the tourists…. Isn’t that what any right minded person would do??   | |||
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"Dear Deirdre.. Im having sexual thoughts about a teapot, the spout is giving me the eye.. what do I do? 🤷🏽♀️" Make sure you drink the tea and wash the spout,its a recipe for thrush failing that start drinking coffee | |||
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"Dear Deirdre.. Im having sexual thoughts about a teapot, the spout is giving me the eye.. what do I do? 🤷🏽♀️" Challenge it to staring contest....Whoever looks away first wins  | |||
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"Dear Diedre, My nextdoor neighbours spotted me going into a swingers club. What should I do ?" Send them an invite next time you plan to go | |||
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"Dear Diedre, My nextdoor neighbours spotted me going into a swingers club. What should I do ?" Explain you're working as a Secret Shopper and were just checking the quality of their soft furnishings. | |||
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"Dear Deirdre When I was a teenager and got a hard on , I couldn’t bend with both hands , Now I’m getting older I can bend it with one hand , Does this mean I’m getting stronger ???" Absolutely, but never take viagra as this is well known to weaken the arm muscles. | |||
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"Dear Deidrie, There are serious issues with the disuse of misused tissues. Discuss" I suggest you use the curtains instead. | |||
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"Dear Deidrie, There are serious issues with the disuse of misused tissues. Discuss I suggest you use the curtains instead. " Do you need a particular type of cutain or will any do? | |||
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"Dear Deidrie, Your name is so hard to pronounce it literally hurts my tongue when attempting...what can I use for my tongue ache?" You could make a sling for it, from a condom. | |||
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"Dear Deidrie, Your name is so hard to pronounce it literally hurts my tongue when attempting...what can I use for my tongue ache? You could make a sling for it, from a condom. " Show me | |||
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" Dear Diedre, I think my boyfriends a vampire. What should I do?" See what his reaction is when you tell him that steak and blow job day is coming up.... Dear Deirdre, can I be done for assault if I turn round in a busy bar and send someone flying with my boobs?  | |||
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"Dear Dierdrie As I grow older people keep telling me I know what I want and how to get it. I don't! How can I achieve this elevated state of being?" Lie. Everybody else does | |||
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"Dear Deirdre How do I finally get her to sit on my face?" Tell her you identify as a chair | |||
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"Dear Diedrie, I have two unfortunate, but related, personal problems. Firstly, my penis goes down to my slippers but I've left them in Devon. What should I do? Secondly, I think I may be ejaculating ectoplasm causing supernatural disturbances in the aforesaid county. Please help. Worried of Westphalia" 
send an exorcist to Devon and ask them to bring your slippers back  | |||
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" Dear Deirdre, can I be done for assault if I turn round in a busy bar and send someone flying with my boobs? "That would be the lesser of the charges, more serious would be the manslaughter charge associated with the strangers asphyxiation. ----------- Dear Deirdre I believe that my MP has many other lucrative, high-profile jobs on top of their parliamentary duties (including Cameo video clips). He appears to be prioritizing a paycheck over our town. I want to complain, but I feel powerless. Do I just wait until the next election, or is there any way to make them actually do the job we voted them in to do? | |||
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" Dear Deirdre, can I be done for assault if I turn round in a busy bar and send someone flying with my boobs?
That would be the lesser of the charges, more serious would be the manslaughter charge associated with the strangers asphyxiation.
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Dear Deirdre
I believe that my MP has many other lucrative, high-profile jobs on top of their parliamentary duties (including Cameo video clips). He appears to be prioritizing a paycheck over our town. I want to complain, but I feel powerless. Do I just wait until the next election, or is there any way to make them actually do the job we voted them in to do?
"Send them an invitation to meet a rich and powerful investor, then report them to immigration so they cannot re-enter the country. Call for a by election as they have abandoned their constituents. | |||
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"Dear Deidre, Every time the postman delivers, my pussy goes wild. I can't take any more. What should I do???? " Put her in another room | |||
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"Dear Deidre, Every time the postman delivers, my pussy goes wild. I can't take any more. What should I do???? " Get a dog, then your pussy will be livid, but the postman will no longer darken your door | |||
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"Dear Deidre I need advice on a very "difficult" problem. For the past week, a truly beautiful woman from Fab has been sending me explicit messages and photos every night, because she wants to be with me. Whilst she may be incredibly attractive and available, I am absolutely exhausted and can barely function at work. How do I manage this without ruining the magic or appearing completely ungrateful? Signed, Sleepless and Tempted " Clone yourself and take turns at work/being seduced. | |||
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"Dear Deidre, Whilst mowing my lawn earlier, I inadvertently ran over and completely severed my left foot. I’m presently spurting claret all over the place and am fading in and out of consciousness. My question therefore is, should I get a smart meter? " Rather than metric, maybe another foot  | |||
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"Dear Deidre, Whilst mowing my lawn earlier, I inadvertently ran over and completely severed my left foot. I’m presently spurting claret all over the place and am fading in and out of consciousness. My question therefore is, should I get a smart meter? Rather than metric, maybe another foot "😂😂👍🏻👍🏻😜 | |||
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"Dear Deidre, Whilst mowing my lawn earlier, I inadvertently ran over and completely severed my left foot. I’m presently spurting claret all over the place and am fading in and out of consciousness. My question therefore is, should I get a smart meter? " Firstly put a wet paper towel over it, magical cure for everything, Secondly smart meters are like chocolate tea pots. | |||
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"Dear Deidre - I have a tendency to overshare and it has got me into hot water with a neighbour ( his wife and I have been fucking for 6 months now and she’s the dirtiest woman Ive ever been with… nothing is off the table… and some things that should never be done on a table have been!! If he knew where the handle of his cricket bat had been while i wore his helmet and shouted Owzat!! He would be very upset!!’ ) Please help!! Todger at deep 3rd man!!" Dear Todger at deep 3rd man!! Could I suggest that first of all you remove the condiments from the table. Then to resolve your small dilema, have you tried a googly, or, since you are on such a sticky wicket, I would strongly suggest that you just bowl the maiden over. | |||
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"Dear Deidre - I have a tendency to overshare and it has got me into hot water with a neighbour ( his wife and I have been fucking for 6 months now and she’s the dirtiest woman Ive ever been with… nothing is off the table… and some things that should never be done on a table have been!! If he knew where the handle of his cricket bat had been while i wore his helmet and shouted Owzat!! He would be very upset!!’ ) Please help!! Todger at deep 3rd man!! Dear Todger at deep 3rd man!! Could I suggest that first of all you remove the condiments from the table. Then to resolve your small dilema, have you tried a googly, or, since you are on such a sticky wicket, I would strongly suggest that you just bowl the maiden over." Haha - excellent work HK!! She’s got me by the bails… im stumped how to get free | |||
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"Dear Deirdre When I was a teenager and got a hard on , I couldn’t bend with both hands , Now I’m getting older I can bend it with one hand , Does this mean I’m getting stronger ???" Eat a dozen eggs a week, you will be surprised | |||
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"Dear Deirdre I was looking out of my bedroom window and in next door's garden spotted my neighbour's 18 year old daughter sunbathing in a very small bikini She is stunning and I couldn't help myself. I undid my trousers and started to maturbate After a few minutes, I was horrified to see my wife standing at the bedroom door watching me Do you think my wife a pervert?" Yes,now go rub salt in you're eyes and give your willy a smack with a fish slice..you're welcome | |||
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"Dear Dierdre , I find I am easily irritated by the growing number of undeniable stupid people in society. I want to be nicer but why should I ? " --------- Dear irritated of Castle Crumpet If you’re the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room. Move to a new room, or just bring a coloring book—it makes ignoring the world much easier. Aunt Deidre | |||
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"Think gents undersizes are getting smaller any vwe gents offer guidance for genuine big guy " --------------- Dear Big Guy It sounds like you’re experiencing a classic case of 'shrink-flation.' Have you tried sourcing your garments from a maritime supplier? I hear they specialize in heavy-duty rigging and, ahem, wider berths. Alternatively, look for brands that advertise 'room for the whole family'—not just the twins | |||
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"Dear Deirdre When I was a teenager and got a hard on , I couldn’t bend with both hands , Now I’m getting older I can bend it with one hand , Does this mean I’m getting stronger ??? Absolutely, but never take viagra as this is well known to weaken the arm muscles." Your previous post did mention soft furnishings  | |||
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"Dear Deidre Having eaten my own weight in chocolate over the last few weeks, I have today started a diet. My fab fwb likes to use butter as lube when she bums me, as this is quite high in calories and fat content, I’m wondering if I should ask her to use a low calorie alternative, but I’m scared that may put her off me. Please help Stanners in a dairy product related quandary 🥺" Dear Stanners, She is shoving it up your arse not down your throat, don't get your ends confused. Fast the days she butters you up if you are concerned | |||
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"Dear Deirdre I was looking out of my bedroom window and in next door's garden spotted my neighbour's 18 year old daughter sunbathing in a very small bikini She is stunning and I couldn't help myself. I undid my trousers and started to maturbate After a few minutes, I was horrified to see my wife standing at the bedroom door watching me Do you think my wife a pervert?" Dear Rob, your wife clearly needs help so try to be supportive. See if she would consider going to the group Perverts R Us bit like Toys R Us but less playful. Failure to that, you might need to move See if there is another window that you can look out of but blocks the wifes view. Best of luck | |||
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