FabSwingers.com forum: Rejection cope

By *sStephenPickle OP Man
4 weeks ago

Ends

My last question for today.

How do you cope with rejection but the kind where it’s from people you are chatting to or are building something with?

I’m not talking about people you don’t know and message randomly on fab.

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By *hil most chillMan
4 weeks ago

London, South East & Europe

It's definitely harder when you've built up a connection through chatting. I try and stay grounded these days, and never take it for granted that it will lead to anything. Like my gran used to say, don't count your gift horse until you're balls deep in her. Or something

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By *enk15Man
4 weeks ago

Evesham

Convince myself it's their loss.

It isn't.

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By *hePervertedPlumberMan
4 weeks ago

Edinburgh

"What's for you won't go past you"

Used to hate it when my Granny said it all the time but turns out she was right. If you've done all you can and said what you meant and still not getting where you want. Thank the universe for highlighting the waste of your time and energy and use the clarity to recalibrate and move forward

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By *es not the MessiahMan
4 weeks ago

3rd rock from the sun

Delete them as a friend and move on

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By *UNKIEMan
4 weeks ago

south east

Im used to it lol

in all seriousness its disappointing if you think youve been building a connection but its just life , i dont see it as a waste of my time either , i just shrug it off and move on

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By *sStephenPickle OP Man
4 weeks ago

Ends

"It's definitely harder when you've built up a connection through chatting. I try and stay grounded these days, and never take it for granted that it will lead to anything. Like my gran used to say, don't count your gift horse until you're balls deep in her. Or something"

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By *sStephenPickle OP Man
4 weeks ago

Ends

Lads, I feel you.

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By *ad NannaWoman
4 weeks ago

East London

I don't get rejected. I get ghosted or submarined, until they need their balls draining.

If I need sex I'll see them. If I don't, I'll ignore or say I'm busy.

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By *estructionDollyWoman
4 weeks ago

The Deep Dark Woods

Retreat into myself and have a little pity party for a week

I have been known, if I can sense it coming, to be a bit direct and call them out on it. I'd rather just be straight than be strung along "I feel like you're pulling away or you're not quite as interested as you were. If you're not interested anymore please just tell me so we can both move on from this instead of wasting our time"

Gets it out of the way quicker. If they're not interested any longer I'd rather just get it over with fast. I'm not going to beg for anyone's affection/interest.

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By *peedyGMan
4 weeks ago

Telford

"Retreat into myself and have a little pity party for a week

Gets it out of the way quicker. If they're not interested any longer I'd rather just get it over with fast. I'm not going to beg for anyone's affection/interest. "

This is me exactly 💯.... I prefer people to be upfront and honest just as i am, it may suck for a bit but you accept it and move on.

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By *hechonkyduoCouple
4 weeks ago

Café Leblanc, Stourbridge

We respect the decision and move on.

If it wasn't supposed to be then it wasn't supposed to be.

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By *lue-eyed guyMan
4 weeks ago

Wetherby

Happens to us all, but sometimes when you have connected with a person it stings!

It's good to feel it for a little bit, but not to wallow!

I'd also rather know if someone was pulling away rather than things being drawn out.

I'm a strong believer that the best is yet to come, and good things are just round the corner!

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By *estructionDollyWoman
4 weeks ago

The Deep Dark Woods

"Retreat into myself and have a little pity party for a week

Gets it out of the way quicker. If they're not interested any longer I'd rather just get it over with fast. I'm not going to beg for anyone's affection/interest.

This is me exactly 💯.... I prefer people to be upfront and honest just as i am, it may suck for a bit but you accept it and move on."

Absolutely agree!

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By *ouble-SidedCouple
4 weeks ago

Voldsøy

Let it sting for a bit. Rejection clears space for the right people to come in, right?

I can't change how deeply someone wants to engage, how ready they are, or how clearly or often they communicate. I try to just stick to the people who match my energy. I do need to remind myself that the right ones won’t make me guess if I matter to them.

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By *erry bull1Man
4 weeks ago

doncaster

Move on and chalk fuck off on it

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By *electableicecreamMan
4 weeks ago

The West

Easy come easy go. I don't get invested enough for it to sting until we've kissed.

That's just the nature of dating and hooking up for me.

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By *rHotNottsMan
4 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"My last question for today.

How do you cope with rejection but the kind where it’s from people you are chatting to or are building something with?

I’m not talking about people you don’t know and message randomly on fab.

Sounds like you are mis reading the signals or rushing things if that’s happening. Surely by the time you say anything, you already know you’re not going to get rejected, until that time you were just chatting - nothing is certain / anything is possible.

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By *sStephenPickle OP Man
4 weeks ago

Ends

"My last question for today.

How do you cope with rejection but the kind where it’s from people you are chatting to or are building something with?

I’m not talking about people you don’t know and message randomly on fab.

Probably🤷🏾‍♂️

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By *eliWoman
4 weeks ago

"My last question for today.

How do you cope with rejection but the kind where it’s from people you are chatting to or are building something with?

I’m not talking about people you don’t know and message randomly on fab.

Hey Pickle. 🩷

If you're building something with someone I imagine it's quite crappy. Do you know what I think help? Being more mindful, more in the moment. I think sometimes we can look ahead and build things up in our mind and when they don't plan out as we'd like it's crappy.

If you're enjoying it for what it is and it happens, it's okay to feel a bit meh. Have a day of doing things that bring you joy but low energy. Not everything is for you, the right things stick around. That's how I see it anyhow.

P.S It’s a general you.

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By *issilia AmoriWoman
4 weeks ago

St Albans/ North Welsh Borders

Depends how invested I guess and whether we're trying to build something...

But I dunno any kind of rejection/cancellation stings a little no matter the circumstance

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

It's more the silence and the ghosting than the rejection for me.. Happy to except rejection but it's the wondering why that shrinks my brain

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By *eonknifeWoman
4 weeks ago

skegness

i think i cope well with rejection when it's accompanied with closure. something along the lines of "i have started to see someone and i don't think i can/want to keep in touch with you" that's fair. or no reason really, just i don't want to see you. cool, be on your merry way and prosper. but ghosting, i hate it.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
4 weeks ago

little house on the praire

If i think im building a friendship with someone and they just drop me I'd be a bit upset

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By *oPantsJustVibesMan
4 weeks ago

Thailand

I can handle rejection, I’m not going to be everyone’s cup of tea, even if we’d been chatting for a while and they decide to drop me, it is what it is. Maybe something happened where they realised maybe I’m not what they’re looking for. It’s normal. It sucks… but it’s normal.

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

I started a chat with a couple on here. I even met them down the beach. We friends and agreed to meet. But then out of friends. When i asked why i was told, because she wanted 6inch or more.🤣🤣. Kick in the teeth but i just thought, there loss as i have a wicked toung. Lol

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By *bi HaiveMan
4 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"My last question for today.

How do you cope with rejection but the kind where it’s from people you are chatting to or are building something with?

I’m not talking about people you don’t know and message randomly on fab.

Cake and Ben & Jerry's Pickle, lots and lots of cake and Ben & Jerry's. 🤷‍♂️

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By *porty_and_NaughtyCouple
4 weeks ago

Swansea

I am no longer interested in investing my time having endless conversations that usually result in the thrill and excitement wearing away as we head towards friend zone territory. It's the same cyclical pattern.

We prefer to have a social rather than pen pal messaging.

Mrs

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By *corpionixMan
4 weeks ago

Crewe

I just close that page and keep carry on. Everyone has some reason to stop communicating but I don't ask and to be honest don't bother myself too much

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By *porty_and_NaughtyCouple
4 weeks ago

Swansea

"I am no longer interested in investing my time having endless conversations that usually result in the thrill and excitement wearing away as we head towards friend zone territory. It's the same cyclical pattern.

We prefer to have a social rather than pen pal messaging.

Mrs

And rejection isn't an issue, it's ensuring mutual attraction is present. If it's not then we just spent a little bit of time making friends and chatting about swinging with others who appreciate it too.

My advice to people who find rejection difficult to deal with, is to not invest too much of yourself in to other people.

Mrs

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By *aFemmeCoquetteWoman
4 weeks ago

somewhere, someplace

Like any rejection in life it stings a little, but i dust myself off and move on. There was a time I'd let it get to me and it would get me down but I grew and learned it wasn't necessarily my fault and that helped me a lot.

Oh and as Obi said lots of cake and ice cream 😂

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By *ellhungvweMan
4 weeks ago

Cheltenham

Rejection is fine. It is part of life. If I was going to ponder on anything it would probably be why I thought the relationship was deeper then they clearly did.

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By *umagain58Man
4 weeks ago

London

We prefer to have a social rather than pen pal messaging.

Mrs

My advice to people who find rejection difficult to deal with, is to not invest too much of yourself in to other people.

Mrs"

Exactly. It sounds unkind to say but for some it’s part of game they play on here. Just move on. There are always kind people you can meet on here. If you think about it that way those who reject you are helping you. It’s always best to understand what others like or not.

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By *estinysswingersCouple
4 weeks ago

Worsley

I just say this to myself.

Oh dear how sad never mind.

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By *umagain58Man
4 weeks ago

London

"I just say this to myself.

Oh dear how sad never mind. "

Good way to think as they lost out

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By *heGateKeeperMan
4 weeks ago

Stratford

Oh that shit hurts.

Especially if it’s someone you KNOW. Because they’ve seen all of you and still think ‘I’ll pass’

But you have to have self worth, know your value and know that it’s not actually personal. Oh and don’t let them know

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By *LiamMan
4 weeks ago

Midlands

It's hard to get through. Happened to me on here this past month or so. Was a 'friend' who we'd spent abit of time together. Then nothing.

Tables turn though. Got myself back in the gym so now I'm after an upgrade

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By *umagain58Man
4 weeks ago

London

"It's hard to get through. Happened to me on here this past month or so. Was a 'friend' who we'd spent abit of time together. Then nothing.

Tables turn though. Got myself back in the gym so now I'm after an upgrade"

Good positive thinking. Sometimes rejection is a bonus as pushes you to explore other relationships

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By *LiamMan
4 weeks ago

Midlands

"It's hard to get through. Happened to me on here this past month or so. Was a 'friend' who we'd spent abit of time together. Then nothing.

Tables turn though. Got myself back in the gym so now I'm after an upgrade

Good positive thinking. Sometimes rejection is a bonus as pushes you to explore other relationships "

🙏

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By *carlet SeductionWoman
4 weeks ago

Maidstone

If it's from someone you were chatting to and building a genuine connection with then I think it's unlikely it's rejection as such, especially if that feeling was mutual. Situations change and sometimes people have to make decisions to be kind to themselves. In doing so it may feel like rejection if you're maybe not given the same priority as you once were. As hard as it is to accept, it probably isn't a reflection on you. I've had a lot of people cut me from their lives recently. It hurts like hell but I know that it's their decision and I can only control how I react to that. As hard as it may be. It's not rejection, it's an opportunity and space in my life for me to focus on me. That's how I'm coping.

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By *oeBeansMan
4 weeks ago

Derby

It hurts... Building that foundation for a connection through chatting on here is really tough and it feels amazing when you find that person who feels the same way you do or who you get on with so well. To then be rejected and feeling like you have to start from scratch again fucking sucks and there's only soany times you can pluck up the energy to get up and go again.

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By *sStephenPickle OP Man
4 weeks ago

Ends

"It hurts... Building that foundation for a connection through chatting on here is really tough and it feels amazing when you find that person who feels the same way you do or who you get on with so well. To then be rejected and feeling like you have to start from scratch again fucking sucks and there's only soany times you can pluck up the energy to get up and go again."

Energy! That’s it. I’m exhausted from failed talking stages.

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By *olyGlamorousWoman
4 weeks ago

Altrincham

Stop messaging them first, if they message you that's usually a good sign

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By *ife NinjaMan
4 weeks ago

Dunfermline

Sometimes I thing I've been strung along. Sometimes it's something I may have said in jest has been taken wrongly. I have a few moments of reflection, think I might never have sex again, and read a book. Hard; yes. Getting het up about; not worth it 🤓

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By *sStephenPickle OP Man
4 weeks ago

Ends

[Removed by poster at 16/07/25 17:46:39]

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By *oeBeansMan
4 weeks ago

Derby

Energy! That’s it. I’m exhausted from failed talking stages. "

I hear you. It's shit and can make me feel a bit lost as to what to do next

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By *LiamMan
4 weeks ago

Midlands

Energy! That’s it. I’m exhausted from failed talking stages. "

Energy is the correct wording. I feel you

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By *peedyGMan
4 weeks ago

Telford

"Stop messaging them first, if they message you that's usually a good sign "

Very true

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By *acey_RedWoman
4 weeks ago

Liverpool

Pizza

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By *oeBeansMan
4 weeks ago

Derby

"Pizza"

The 12" doesn't remind you of him? 😜

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By *acey_RedWoman
4 weeks ago

Liverpool

"Pizza

The 12" doesn't remind you of him? 😜"

No, it's much more satisfying.

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By *peedyGMan
4 weeks ago

Telford

"Pizza

The 12" doesn't remind you of him? 😜"

😂 I was proper confused then

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By *ife NinjaMan
4 weeks ago

Dunfermline

"Pizza

The 12" doesn't remind you of him? 😜

No, it's much more satisfying."

Probably meatier too 😂

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By *herry.bombWoman
4 weeks ago

basingstoke

"Pizza

The 12" doesn't remind you of him? 😜

No, it's much more satisfying.

Probably meatier too 😂"

Hopefully not as cheesy.

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By *LiamMan
4 weeks ago

Midlands

"Pizza

The 12" doesn't remind you of him? 😜

No, it's much more satisfying.

Probably meatier too 😂

Hopefully not as cheesy.

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By *ife NinjaMan
4 weeks ago

Dunfermline

"Pizza

The 12" doesn't remind you of him? 😜

No, it's much more satisfying.

Probably meatier too 😂

Hopefully not as cheesy.

🤔😂

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By *eyedwillyMan
4 weeks ago

Bedford

Use my tears as lube and get on with life

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By *ongAndThick123Man
4 weeks ago

Leeds

"My last question for today.

How do you cope with rejection but the kind where it’s from people you are chatting to or are building something with?

I’m not talking about people you don’t know and message randomly on fab.

If we’re talking about rejection in terms of this site, then I’d probably feel slightly off for an hour or so. Then by the next day it’s forgotten.

I go into this with the view that we aren’t entitled to anyone’s attention, and it’s not always personal when chemistry is lost. Then again I also tend not to form connections with people I’ve not met yet.

Unless you know someone in “real life” it’s always helpful to remember that the other person(s) had no actual impact on your daily life. You can comfortably continue as normal.

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By *acey_RedWoman
4 weeks ago

Liverpool

"Use my tears as lube and get on with life "

Good ol' cry wank

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By *electableicecreamMan
4 weeks ago

The West

Energy! That’s it. I’m exhausted from failed talking stages. "

Yep. I've settled this with the knowledge that I may miss some connections because I don't have the spoons to go the distance on messaging. I prefer to meet and if that's not possible I'm happy to let it sleep until the calendar lines up.

The funny thing is, when I decided to invest less in conversations, I didn't end up having less connections.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
4 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

I put on my big girl pants - not really I don’t wear them 😉 put on my lipstick and go grab the balls of the world outside.

If it’s not meant to be then something better for me will be 🌈

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By *iss.BellaWoman
4 weeks ago

It bothers me for a short while but it's life. Especially on here or via dating apps.. not that I've bothered with dating apps for years.

I'm a stressy person, and worry about alsorts. I don't have room for rejection stress, so I just don't think about it. Plenty more in the sea.. although most are leeches and bottom feeders.. 🤣

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By * Jason -Man
4 weeks ago

Hounslow

I absolutely hate rejection. I do get over it but it hurts. Even from first messages. Because I never carpet bomb messaging. I am choosy and I only send messages to people who I am really keen to meet.

I probably shouldn't be on this site, lol. This place is rejection on steroids.

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By *adyBugsWoman
4 weeks ago

cognito

Standard.

My heart is made of stone now and I’m all out of fucks.

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By *oelMan
4 weeks ago

Midlands, London, Brussels

Just how it is, folks connect or they don't

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By *atinaChica54Woman
4 weeks ago

Marlborough

"Standard.

My heart is made of stone now and I’m all out of fucks. "

This ⬆️for me also!

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By *inky PerkyCouple
4 weeks ago

Kingston

Could be you misreading things.

Could be a change in their situation.

Could be they were never who they said they were.

Nothing you can do about any of it.

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By *ellinever70Woman
4 weeks ago

Ayrshire

Invest very little of yourself until you've actually seen the whites of their eyes in person to protect yourself from moving too fast on the basis of hot and heavy messaging

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

“What will be, will be”

Don’t get down on it I know it’s easier said than done. Their loss 🥲

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By *olo180Man
4 weeks ago

Greater London

"Standard.

My heart is made of stone now and I’m all out of fucks. "

Even the stoniest of hearts can be chipped x

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By *offysmangoMan
4 weeks ago

Colchester

The best way I look at it to cope is

Everyone's been rejected.

Who has rejected you, has also been rejected by someone else.

It's a odd way to look it, yes, but it's an oddly therapeutic way , knowing that nobody here is above you.

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By * Jason -Man
4 weeks ago

Hounslow

"“Their loss 🥲"

Their loss maybe. My loss probably. Lol

And tbh I really wouldn't want to change myself and harden up too much because I perdonally get so much out of it by investing. Even if I know it's going to be a one time only experience.

Yeah it's swinging, yeah it's casual, without all the baggage and maintenance of a traditional relationship, but I always give everything to the experience.

For one thing everyone benefits, and for another I have come away with some absolutely incredible and memorable experiences.

So yep, I have doomed myself to handling rejection badly, but the experiences have been worth it.

(Sorry for my wordy posts. My adhd medication won't let me stfu)

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By *ongJohnSilva2.0Man
4 weeks ago

Right up your street

" Their loss 🥲"

100%

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