FabSwingers.com forum: What was the last...

By *ulieAndBeef OP Couple
24 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

Inanimate object you told to fuck off?

Do you regularly vent your frustration when objects aren't cooperating by telling them to fuck off? Or are you a zen master and just let it wash over you?

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
24 weeks ago

Tamworth

Clothes airer. Fucking thing.

I have to use a foot to knock the one lever up at the same time as the other to collapse it.

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
24 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

Birthday Balloon that would keep bobbing out everytime I tried to stick it in the car...I must have looked ridiculous wrestling with it

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By *orace99Man
24 weeks ago

York

Far too many things get told to go forth and multiply both at home and work

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
24 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

My dog is animate which was the last thing I told to fuck off, so doesn't count.

I'll have told several things to fuck off today, but none were important enough to remember 💜

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By *ayRyuMan
24 weeks ago

Harrogate

This phone. Was having a stupid fit and not responding to the words I was typing! Grrr

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By *ilverSwordMan
24 weeks ago

Belfast-ish

Told the TV to fuck off and die because it switched off. Mainly due to me missing the timeout warning lol but it deserved it

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By *arley QuimWoman
24 weeks ago

Somewhere

My bed last night when I stubbed my big toe

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By *he love catsCouple
24 weeks ago

South Wales

Glass water bottle Friday night.

I was in bed I opened the lid and the bottom of the bottle just fell off soaking the pillows, mattress, duvet etc, it was midnight and we had to get out of bed and try and sort it out, I wasn't happy 🤬

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By *weetiepie99Woman
24 weeks ago

cardiff

A car thar nearly went into the back of me (actually it was the driver

)

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By *ornycougaWoman
24 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

My phone. It's been overheating and driving me mad all day

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
24 weeks ago

Essex

I’m zen…

I don’t even get road rage.

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By *d mirerMan
24 weeks ago

lost

Funnel when it slipped and I spilt cider all over the floor . Fucker

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By *avexxMan
24 weeks ago

cheshire

ive told the car to fuck off a few times

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By *asterMeliodasMan
24 weeks ago

Newmill

I'm usually a bit more decorous than that; I tell them that this will go down very poorly at their next performance review.

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By *emorefridaCouple
24 weeks ago

La la land

Yesterday when I dropped a bed on my foot.

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By *d mirerMan
24 weeks ago

lost

"I'm usually a bit more decorous than that; I tell them that this will go down very poorly at their next performance review."

Is the fuck off then submitted at the review ?

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By *ixieAndHerKingCouple
24 weeks ago

Debauchery

Friday afternoon, finished work, had 45 mins to travel home 10 miles, have a wee, grab a brew and join a zoom meeting... life decided to try and fuck it up, so many vehicles got told to fuck off, lack of parking spaces at home got told to fuck off, the laptop decided not to play fair and that got told to fuck off. 5 seconds after the last fuck off I smiled sweetly at the zoom screen and greeted the room like nothing had occurred 😇😅

Cherry x

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By *asterMeliodasMan
24 weeks ago

Newmill

"I'm usually a bit more decorous than that; I tell them that this will go down very poorly at their next performance review.

Is the fuck off then submitted at the review ?"

In triplicate and sent to HR, yes.

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By *outhern77Man
24 weeks ago

Birmingham

9am this morning when I smashed my Toe on the underside of the bed!

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By *d mirerMan
24 weeks ago

lost

"I'm usually a bit more decorous than that; I tell them that this will go down very poorly at their next performance review.

Is the fuck off then submitted at the review ?

In triplicate and sent to HR, yes."

😂😂

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By *asterMeliodasMan
24 weeks ago

Newmill

"9am this morning when I smashed my Toe on the underside of the bed! "

Urgh, the fragility of the human toe is definitely a design flaw.

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By *ornywife20Couple
24 weeks ago

North Cork

Carpark barrier

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By *olfandtazCouple
24 weeks ago

Bristol

My coffee table every time I accidentally kick it!

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By *outhern77Man
24 weeks ago

Birmingham

"9am this morning when I smashed my Toe on the underside of the bed!

Urgh, the fragility of the human toe is definitely a design flaw."

I totally agree with that MM.. Should be a lot stronger (or less nerves)

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By *ecretSearcherMan
24 weeks ago

Reading

My motorbike yesterday when it wouldn't start. Kick starts are hard work and when your wearing full Motocross kit in the blistering sun and it won't start.... Fuck off, and a few other choice words.

Bump started it in the end. Fucking thing..

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By *ozzybear1981Man
24 weeks ago

preston

Nope, nothing today, tomorrow it will be all of my plant, the +50c temperature and the office staff interfering 😂

But today is a beautiful day 🥰

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

My car when it wouldn't open the fuel cap door when I was pressing the wrong button to do so! 🤭🤭

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

32amp cable on my bus. Weighs a ton and just as id coiled it the f*cker unfurled off my arm. K

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By *ittlebirdWoman
24 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

I tell Alexa to fuck off or that she’s a c*nt at least 3 times a day. Mostly because she doesn’t listen to me and does her own thing… which weirdly reminds me of me 🤣

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By *asterMeliodasMan
24 weeks ago

Newmill

"I tell Alexa to fuck off or that she’s a c*nt at least 3 times a day. Mostly because she doesn’t listen to me and does her own thing… which weirdly reminds me of me 🤣"

Have you seen the Burnistoun elevator sketch?

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By *ulieAndBeef OP Couple
24 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

[Removed by poster at 11/08/24 19:10:48]

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By *ittlebirdWoman
24 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

"I tell Alexa to fuck off or that she’s a c*nt at least 3 times a day. Mostly because she doesn’t listen to me and does her own thing… which weirdly reminds me of me 🤣

Have you seen the Burnistoun elevator sketch?"

No darling. Can you send me the link please?

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By *asterMeliodasMan
24 weeks ago

Newmill

"I tell Alexa to fuck off or that she’s a c*nt at least 3 times a day. Mostly because she doesn’t listen to me and does her own thing… which weirdly reminds me of me 🤣

Have you seen the Burnistoun elevator sketch?

No darling. Can you send me the link please? "

Of course I can, my lovely! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbDnxzrbxn4

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By *ulieScrumptiousWoman
24 weeks ago

North West

"[Removed by poster at 11/08/24 19:10:48]"

Fucksake other account. 😂 Fuck off already.

Before that it was our coffee machine which is precious and demanding! 😂

What about you OP?

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By *ynecplCouple
24 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

My laptop when I was trying to look something up on Youtube and the ads kept playing.

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By *ickleTheWonderSchlongMan
24 weeks ago

Ends

A fan.

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By *endalshaggersCouple
24 weeks ago

Lake District

Bin bag.

Decided it didn't want to be pulled out of the bin. Then when it did, it ripped. And then the replacement one decided to be a dickhead as well.

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By *oodmessMan
24 weeks ago

yumsville

Food bin bag that keeps ripping

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By *cott14Man
24 weeks ago

Essex & SW Exeter/Taunton

Potato masher

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By *ulieAndBeef OP Couple
24 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

"Birthday Balloon that would keep bobbing out everytime I tried to stick it in the car...I must have looked ridiculous wrestling with it "

Was it your birthday?

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By *ulieAndBeef OP Couple
24 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

"Glass water bottle Friday night.

Crikey - a well deserved tirade of expletives

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By *ulieAndBeef OP Couple
24 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

"Yesterday when I dropped a bed on my foot. "

Dropped a bed on your foot 😬?

Ouch, hope it's okay.

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

Hat and coat stand decided to trip me up last night, was his last act of defiance as he has indeed well and truly fucked off

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

I think it was the clip that was a bit loose and wouldn't go around the barbell properly

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

I dunno. Most things stay out of my way for good reason

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By *ondiego85Man
24 weeks ago

nottingham

That bloody dvd that I ordered from Amazon without knowing it’s NTSC so cannot be played on any player this side of the Atlantic

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By *ortySwitchMan
24 weeks ago

london

My 4g provider. It reports full signal strength yet there’s still no connection. Tried turning it off and on again but still luck.

How long had 4g been around? And it still won’t work? Fucking thing. Thankfully I found some Wi-Fi.

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By *altandPepper24Couple
24 weeks ago

Liverpool

Self check out till

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By *ularliWoman
24 weeks ago

Worcester

I’ve been very zen today but I’ve not been at work so that’s probably why

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

"Potato masher "

Top drawer?

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By *HUSH-Man
24 weeks ago

London

I do far too much dumb stuff to get angry at every inanimate object.

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
24 weeks ago

Staffordshire

My wedge.

Before that it was my 7 iron.

Then my driver.

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By *B69Woman
24 weeks ago

Wiltshire

Side of the sofa when I stumped my toe this morning 😖

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By *ulieAndBeef OP Couple
24 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

"A fan. "

I didn't hear you, but okay 😔

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By *ulieAndBeef OP Couple
24 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

"My wedge.

Before that it was my 7 iron.

Then my driver.

Clearly faulty clubs

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By *ou only live onceMan
24 weeks ago

London

The back door. Why won't it lock?!? WHY!

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
24 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

The TV. Watching Love is Blind as telling the TV to fuck off everytime someone says "I love you" to someone they haven't even met.

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
24 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

"Side of the sofa when I stumped my toe this morning 😖"

'stumped'? I always use 'stubbed' and I've done the same one 3 times this week.

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By *undee2Man
24 weeks ago

Dundee

Last inanimate object? A canvasser for the Tories at the last election.

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By *ocusMan
24 weeks ago

Cambridge

A sheet of paper I was using to make a pattern for a pair of latex stockings. It kept sticking to my hand while I was trying to cut the pattern out. The twat.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
24 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

Does swearing at other drivers count?

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
24 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

"Does swearing at other drivers count?"

Asking for a friend. Which is me.

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By *ulieAndBeef OP Couple
24 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

"Does swearing at other drivers count?

Asking for a friend. Which is me."

Didn't you have to successfully swear at another driver as part of your test? I think that's just an accepted part of the driving experience.

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By *ulieAndBeef OP Couple
24 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

"Hat and coat stand decided to trip me up last night, was his last act of defiance as he has indeed well and truly fucked off "

Sounds like it needs to be renamed the twat stand.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
24 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

"Didn't you have to successfully swear at another driver as part of your test? I think that's just an accepted part of the driving experience. B"

I think they only added that part to the test recently, after realising the youth of today don’t know how to properly road rage.

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By *ickleTheWonderSchlongMan
24 weeks ago

Ends

"A fan.

I didn't hear you, but okay 😔

He a fan he a fan he a fan

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By *anceAloneWoman
24 weeks ago

Adjacent to him

A rock...it was in my way 😎

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
24 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

"Birthday Balloon that would keep bobbing out everytime I tried to stick it in the car...I must have looked ridiculous wrestling with it

Was it your birthday?

Yes, it is my birthday today. I was putting my birthday gifts off my work colleagues into the car, the balloon was attached to the gift bag

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By *ulieAndBeef OP Couple
24 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

"Birthday Balloon that would keep bobbing out everytime I tried to stick it in the car...I must have looked ridiculous wrestling with it

Was it your birthday?

Yes, it is my birthday today. I was putting my birthday gifts off my work colleagues into the car, the balloon was attached to the gift bag

Happy birthday 🎂

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
24 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

"Birthday Balloon that would keep bobbing out everytime I tried to stick it in the car...I must have looked ridiculous wrestling with it

Was it your birthday?

Yes, it is my birthday today. I was putting my birthday gifts off my work colleagues into the car, the balloon was attached to the gift bag

Happy birthday 🎂

Bx"

Thank you

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By *ex HolesMan
24 weeks ago

Up North

Some pixels on my phone screen

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