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"So you’ll feel sorry for them and fuck them" Bingo | |||
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"Probably because of the way they are treated by society and in dating " I hope nobody falls for your games  | |||
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"Probably because of the way they are treated by society and in dating I hope nobody falls for your games "I dunno man, the question around men’s insecurity gets brought up in a society where we are meant to be encouraging guys to be honest about their mental health and how they feel instead of bottling it up And every reply so far is suggesting they only do that to get pity fucks I expect nothing less on here and it’s the reason men will continue to keep our issues to ourselves | |||
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"I'm not saying all men but some I chat to, say they don't think they're good looking enough or worthy enough get a chance with some women, It's upsetting that men feel they're not worthy and that some women are superior or too good for them. It feels as though men suffer in silence alot. With regards to this. Opinions.?? In the mean time happy fabbing and fucking everyone, Make the most of life's journey, you only get one chance at it "Women generally have more focussed higher standards, as per the way society as a hole is changing men are less confident as its a lot easier for a female to be complimented get attention Porn has a negative Impact that some men put the pussy on a pedestal and have low confidence Get a unrealistic idea of sex etc Some men generally deal with depression etc as it's super common in men And some talk negatively about themselves as it's easier to live in doubt than have confidence | |||
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"Probably because of the way they are treated by society and in dating I hope nobody falls for your games
I dunno man, the question around men’s insecurity gets brought up in a society where we are meant to be encouraging guys to be honest about their mental health and how they feel instead of bottling it up
And every reply so far is suggesting they only do that to get pity fucks
I expect nothing less on here and it’s the reason men will continue to keep our issues to ourselves "No but I think men definitely do talk like this to manipulate people into giving compliments or to work their way into becoming a possible sexual partner. I feel insecure myself. I’ve called myself ugly. I don’t think it makes me unworthy of anyone. I am being cynical here I think but I feel like you note the difference between someone struggling with their perception of themself and someone sad because they think someone won’t want to have sex with them. | |||
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"Probably because of the way they are treated by society and in dating I hope nobody falls for your games
I dunno man, the question around men’s insecurity gets brought up in a society where we are meant to be encouraging guys to be honest about their mental health and how they feel instead of bottling it up
And every reply so far is suggesting they only do that to get pity fucks
I expect nothing less on here and it’s the reason men will continue to keep our issues to ourselves
No but I think men definitely do talk like this to manipulate people into giving compliments or to work their way into becoming a possible sexual partner.
I feel insecure myself. I’ve called myself ugly. I don’t think it makes me unworthy of anyone. I am being cynical here I think but I feel like you note the difference between someone struggling with their perception of themself and someone sad because they think someone won’t want to have sex with them. "Agreed difference between an incel and someone struggling with confidence and Depression | |||
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"I agree, Op. I get men saying "sorry to bother you" and so forth - I haven't gained the impression they're out for sympathy. Just struggling. And I do feel bad for them. Because if your self-esteem isn't rock solid - single guys can get crushed here. " Absolutely this, it’s a total minefield. | |||
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"It’s interesting anyway because when have good looks ever stopped a man getting a woman? The media is full of images of ‘traditionally attractive’ women with not ‘traditionally attractive’ men. In film/ tv especially. In contrast we know there’s culture amongst men about reducing women to their looks, rating them, not giving time or energy to ones they deem unattractive etc. " I always hear/read that men are visually stimulated as main driver and women aren’t. Is this true? | |||
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"It’s interesting anyway because when have good looks ever stopped a man getting a woman? The media is full of images of ‘traditionally attractive’ women with not ‘traditionally attractive’ men. In film/ tv especially. In contrast we know there’s culture amongst men about reducing women to their looks, rating them, not giving time or energy to ones they deem unattractive etc. I always hear/read that men are visually stimulated as main driver and women aren’t. Is this true?" It’s not black and white It’s to different extents. But generally men like what they see, women like who you are And that’s a sliding scale. Women are going to appreciate looks more in a hook up than they are in a long term partner where personality matters more | |||
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"It’s interesting anyway because when have good looks ever stopped a man getting a woman? The media is full of images of ‘traditionally attractive’ women with not ‘traditionally attractive’ men. In film/ tv especially. In contrast we know there’s culture amongst men about reducing women to their looks, rating them, not giving time or energy to ones they deem unattractive etc. I always hear/read that men are visually stimulated as main driver and women aren’t. Is this true?" Do I believe that’s a biological difference between men and women? Absolutely fucking not. I believe if men are, they are because of cultures in which they’re brought up in. Same for women. Do I think a woman is naturally not visually simulated in the same way as men? No. Do I think society makes women think that ‘good’ men are more important/ valuable? Yes I do. | |||
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"Probably because of the way they are treated by society and in dating I hope nobody falls for your games
I dunno man, the question around men’s insecurity gets brought up in a society where we are meant to be encouraging guys to be honest about their mental health and how they feel instead of bottling it up
And every reply so far is suggesting they only do that to get pity fucks
I expect nothing less on here and it’s the reason men will continue to keep our issues to ourselves
No but I think men definitely do talk like this to manipulate people into giving compliments or to work their way into becoming a possible sexual partner.
I feel insecure myself. I’ve called myself ugly. I don’t think it makes me unworthy of anyone. I am being cynical here I think but I feel like you note the difference between someone struggling with their perception of themself and someone sad because they think someone won’t want to have sex with them. "I wonder how many of these guts genuinely it’ll lead to a pity fuck vs how many are genuinely in the gutter from years and years of rejection | |||
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"It’s interesting anyway because when have good looks ever stopped a man getting a woman? The media is full of images of ‘traditionally attractive’ women with not ‘traditionally attractive’ men. In film/ tv especially. In contrast we know there’s culture amongst men about reducing women to their looks, rating them, not giving time or energy to ones they deem unattractive etc. I always hear/read that men are visually stimulated as main driver and women aren’t. Is this true? Do I believe that’s a biological difference between men and women? Absolutely fucking not. I believe if men are, they are because of cultures in which they’re brought up in. Same for women. Do I think a woman is naturally not visually simulated in the same way as men? No. Do I think society makes women think that ‘good’ men are more important/ valuable? Yes I do. " I love setting you up to go all sociology. It’s sexy AF. | |||
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"It’s interesting anyway because when have good looks ever stopped a man getting a woman? The media is full of images of ‘traditionally attractive’ women with not ‘traditionally attractive’ men. In film/ tv especially. In contrast we know there’s culture amongst men about reducing women to their looks, rating them, not giving time or energy to ones they deem unattractive etc. I always hear/read that men are visually stimulated as main driver and women aren’t. Is this true? Do I believe that’s a biological difference between men and women? Absolutely fucking not. I believe if men are, they are because of cultures in which they’re brought up in. Same for women. Do I think a woman is naturally not visually simulated in the same way as men? No. Do I think society makes women think that ‘good’ men are more important/ valuable? Yes I do. I love setting you up to go all sociology. It’s sexy AF. " I agree and applaud your set up there MrsAbz | |||
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"As soon as someone gives me the I'm not worthy vibe I'm out "This. 100%. It’s very very unattractive in a person | |||
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"Probably because of the way they are treated by society and in dating I hope nobody falls for your games
I dunno man, the question around men’s insecurity gets brought up in a society where we are meant to be encouraging guys to be honest about their mental health and how they feel instead of bottling it up
And every reply so far is suggesting they only do that to get pity fucks
I expect nothing less on here and it’s the reason men will continue to keep our issues to ourselves
No but I think men definitely do talk like this to manipulate people into giving compliments or to work their way into becoming a possible sexual partner.
I feel insecure myself. I’ve called myself ugly. I don’t think it makes me unworthy of anyone. I am being cynical here I think but I feel like you note the difference between someone struggling with their perception of themself and someone sad because they think someone won’t want to have sex with them.
I wonder how many of these guts genuinely it’ll lead to a pity fuck vs how many are genuinely in the gutter from years and years of rejection
"Not just a pity fuck though. A compliment. Someone to tell them, you’re not ugly, you are desirable. And ofc I believe there are men that will take that as an opportunity. Regardless, as men we would do well to learn that our beauty and our desirability are not in how many women on the internet find is attractive or how many women agree to have sex with us. Our worthiness and feeling enough has to come from within. Reliance on external validation will break us all | |||
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"It’s interesting anyway because when have good looks ever stopped a man getting a woman? The media is full of images of ‘traditionally attractive’ women with not ‘traditionally attractive’ men. In film/ tv especially. In contrast we know there’s culture amongst men about reducing women to their looks, rating them, not giving time or energy to ones they deem unattractive etc. I always hear/read that men are visually stimulated as main driver and women aren’t. Is this true? Do I believe that’s a biological difference between men and women? Absolutely fucking not. I believe if men are, they are because of cultures in which they’re brought up in. Same for women. Do I think a woman is naturally not visually simulated in the same way as men? No. Do I think society makes women think that ‘good’ men are more important/ valuable? Yes I do. I love setting you up to go all sociology. It’s sexy AF. I agree and applaud your set up there MrsAbz " 
I’m edging. | |||
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"It’s interesting anyway because when have good looks ever stopped a man getting a woman? The media is full of images of ‘traditionally attractive’ women with not ‘traditionally attractive’ men. In film/ tv especially. In contrast we know there’s culture amongst men about reducing women to their looks, rating them, not giving time or energy to ones they deem unattractive etc. I always hear/read that men are visually stimulated as main driver and women aren’t. Is this true? Do I believe that’s a biological difference between men and women? Absolutely fucking not. I believe if men are, they are because of cultures in which they’re brought up in. Same for women. Do I think a woman is naturally not visually simulated in the same way as men? No. Do I think society makes women think that ‘good’ men are more important/ valuable? Yes I do. I love setting you up to go all sociology. It’s sexy AF. " 
You!!!!! | |||
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"*tiny violin*"  | |||
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"Probably because of the way they are treated by society and in dating I hope nobody falls for your games
I dunno man, the question around men’s insecurity gets brought up in a society where we are meant to be encouraging guys to be honest about their mental health and how they feel instead of bottling it up
And every reply so far is suggesting they only do that to get pity fucks
I expect nothing less on here and it’s the reason men will continue to keep our issues to ourselves
No but I think men definitely do talk like this to manipulate people into giving compliments or to work their way into becoming a possible sexual partner.
I feel insecure myself. I’ve called myself ugly. I don’t think it makes me unworthy of anyone. I am being cynical here I think but I feel like you note the difference between someone struggling with their perception of themself and someone sad because they think someone won’t want to have sex with them.
I wonder how many of these guts genuinely it’ll lead to a pity fuck vs how many are genuinely in the gutter from years and years of rejection
Not just a pity fuck though. A compliment. Someone to tell them, you’re not ugly, you are desirable. And ofc I believe there are men that will take that as an opportunity.
Regardless, as men we would do well to learn that our beauty and our desirability are not in how many women on the internet find is attractive or how many women agree to have sex with us. Our worthiness and feeling enough has to come from within. Reliance on external validation will break us all"I agree with that, I just don’t think that’s a reality that possible for many guys the way society is now. But absolutely guys should not be putting themselves down for a bit of attention or a compliment. It’s gross to everyone, men and women alike. Pity parties never benefitted anyone | |||
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"There is a crisis of masculinity. Men are castigated for traditionally male behaviours without clear examples of how they should behave. People like Tate step into that void. But Gen Z are coming and they can’t even talk to each other in person. So the whole fucking human race should be extinct anyway. Things will sort themselves out. " Agreed can you imagine a man going up to someone in a bar these days It's terrifying for so many And would rather pay for tinder etc or go online Resulting in the formation of so many parasocial relationships based on paying people for messages or pics on only fans etc | |||
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"I reject the premise of your post, OP, this is likely for women, in society. Its like an inverse situation, from vanilla life. So women have an advantage here, well boo hoo, men, you have the advantage Everywhere else!!" Yeah, I agree with this. For once they don't have the upper hand. | |||
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"*tiny violin* " | |||
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"… I just don’t think that’s a reality that possible for many guys the way society is now. But absolutely guys should not be putting themselves down for a bit of attention or a compliment. It’s gross to everyone, men and women alike. Pity parties never benefitted anyone " I think men need to just accept the reality of seeking sex online. Women are spoilt for choice. You have to just suck up the rejection. It’s gonna happen a lot. Learn to love yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re not enough. There’s just a power imbalance | |||
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"… I just don’t think that’s a reality that possible for many guys the way society is now. But absolutely guys should not be putting themselves down for a bit of attention or a compliment. It’s gross to everyone, men and women alike. Pity parties never benefitted anyone I think men need to just accept the reality of seeking sex online. Women are spoilt for choice. You have to just suck up the rejection. It’s gonna happen a lot. Learn to love yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re not enough. There’s just a power imbalance " Do women hold the power for the getting of sex full stop, be it online or in real life? | |||
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"There is a crisis of masculinity. Men are castigated for traditionally male behaviours without clear examples of how they should behave. People like Tate step into that void. But Gen Z are coming and they can’t even talk to each other in person. So the whole fucking human race should be extinct anyway. Things will sort themselves out. " But they [I am gen z so maybe ‘we’] can talk to each other in person? We do in school and at work. I think we just live in a world where interaction is compartmentalised (I can meet people online on an app where we’re both looking for the same thing now so don’t need to approach people in person). And I also think this generation (gen z) are better, more empathetic communicators. | |||
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"… I just don’t think that’s a reality that possible for many guys the way society is now. But absolutely guys should not be putting themselves down for a bit of attention or a compliment. It’s gross to everyone, men and women alike. Pity parties never benefitted anyone I think men need to just accept the reality of seeking sex online. Women are spoilt for choice. You have to just suck up the rejection. It’s gonna happen a lot. Learn to love yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re not enough. There’s just a power imbalance " I think it extends past just online, but yes you are right, they need to wake up and realise that online, especially like fabs, most of you just won’t make the cut, don’t get upset about it. Do what works So many guys stick around on fabs despite it clearly negatively affecting their mental health. I’ve no idea why | |||
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"… I just don’t think that’s a reality that possible for many guys the way society is now. But absolutely guys should not be putting themselves down for a bit of attention or a compliment. It’s gross to everyone, men and women alike. Pity parties never benefitted anyone I think men need to just accept the reality of seeking sex online. Women are spoilt for choice. You have to just suck up the rejection. It’s gonna happen a lot. Learn to love yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re not enough. There’s just a power imbalance " "Suck up the rejection" doesn't seem a very empathetic response from you, Pickle? | |||
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"So you’ll feel sorry for them and fuck them" In this instance it feels like that yeah ha Men do suffer in silence though in other manners. If someone gave me that line I'd be out. Red flag lol | |||
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"… I just don’t think that’s a reality that possible for many guys the way society is now. But absolutely guys should not be putting themselves down for a bit of attention or a compliment. It’s gross to everyone, men and women alike. Pity parties never benefitted anyone I think men need to just accept the reality of seeking sex online. Women are spoilt for choice. You have to just suck up the rejection. It’s gonna happen a lot. Learn to love yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re not enough. There’s just a power imbalance Do women hold the power for the getting of sex full stop, be it online or in real life?" I’d say well yeah probably. Given that men seem to feel like they can seek it more and also seek it causally more. So there’s always more men looking. And always men that are, unfortunately, less bothered about the who than they are about the act. But the power to have sex theoretically should be shared, right? I can say no just as easily and as often as a woman. Do I though? 
Nb: the ‘I’ is not me. | |||
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"… I just don’t think that’s a reality that possible for many guys the way society is now. But absolutely guys should not be putting themselves down for a bit of attention or a compliment. It’s gross to everyone, men and women alike. Pity parties never benefitted anyone I think men need to just accept the reality of seeking sex online. Women are spoilt for choice. You have to just suck up the rejection. It’s gonna happen a lot. Learn to love yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re not enough. There’s just a power imbalance "Suck up the rejection" doesn't seem a very empathetic response from you, Pickle?" But I am empathetic. We have to suck up the rejection in the sense we have to learn to accept that it happens. And it will happen. A lot. You cannot change that. What you can do is, like I go on to say, Learn to love yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re not enough. By suck it up I don’t mean don’t feel anything. I mean accept it. You have to. | |||
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"… I just don’t think that’s a reality that possible for many guys the way society is now. But absolutely guys should not be putting themselves down for a bit of attention or a compliment. It’s gross to everyone, men and women alike. Pity parties never benefitted anyone I think men need to just accept the reality of seeking sex online. Women are spoilt for choice. You have to just suck up the rejection. It’s gonna happen a lot. Learn to love yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re not enough. There’s just a power imbalance " If society didn't indoctrinate women that openly enjoying sex is worthy of contempt then maybe that power imbalance would be more equal. J | |||
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"… I just don’t think that’s a reality that possible for many guys the way society is now. But absolutely guys should not be putting themselves down for a bit of attention or a compliment. It’s gross to everyone, men and women alike. Pity parties never benefitted anyone I think men need to just accept the reality of seeking sex online. Women are spoilt for choice. You have to just suck up the rejection. It’s gonna happen a lot. Learn to love yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re not enough. There’s just a power imbalance I think it extends past just online, but yes you are right, they need to wake up and realise that online, especially like fabs, most of you just won’t make the cut, don’t get upset about it. Do what works So many guys stick around on fabs despite it clearly negatively affecting their mental health. I’ve no idea why " I think it’s ok to get upset. But I do think you have to learn to accept it. As to why they stay? I’d guess it’s the same reason someone plays the lottery. | |||
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"Probably because of the way they are treated by society and in dating I hope nobody falls for your games
I dunno man, the question around men’s insecurity gets brought up in a society where we are meant to be encouraging guys to be honest about their mental health and how they feel instead of bottling it up
And every reply so far is suggesting they only do that to get pity fucks
I expect nothing less on here and it’s the reason men will continue to keep our issues to ourselves "It’s a well known manipulation tactic | |||
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"… I just don’t think that’s a reality that possible for many guys the way society is now. But absolutely guys should not be putting themselves down for a bit of attention or a compliment. It’s gross to everyone, men and women alike. Pity parties never benefitted anyone I think men need to just accept the reality of seeking sex online. Women are spoilt for choice. You have to just suck up the rejection. It’s gonna happen a lot. Learn to love yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re not enough. There’s just a power imbalance If society didn't indoctrinate women that openly enjoying sex is worthy of contempt then maybe that power imbalance would be more equal. J" Agreed. Maybe we should raise boys and girls the same | |||
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"… I just don’t think that’s a reality that possible for many guys the way society is now. But absolutely guys should not be putting themselves down for a bit of attention or a compliment. It’s gross to everyone, men and women alike. Pity parties never benefitted anyone I think men need to just accept the reality of seeking sex online. Women are spoilt for choice. You have to just suck up the rejection. It’s gonna happen a lot. Learn to love yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re not enough. There’s just a power imbalance I think it extends past just online, but yes you are right, they need to wake up and realise that online, especially like fabs, most of you just won’t make the cut, don’t get upset about it. Do what works So many guys stick around on fabs despite it clearly negatively affecting their mental health. I’ve no idea why " It definitely goes beyond online, because (probably uniquely) I only started meeting women when I went online, I've never been with anyone I met face to face outside of a swingers club | |||
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"… I just don’t think that’s a reality that possible for many guys the way society is now. But absolutely guys should not be putting themselves down for a bit of attention or a compliment. It’s gross to everyone, men and women alike. Pity parties never benefitted anyone I think men need to just accept the reality of seeking sex online. Women are spoilt for choice. You have to just suck up the rejection. It’s gonna happen a lot. Learn to love yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re not enough. There’s just a power imbalance Do women hold the power for the getting of sex full stop, be it online or in real life? I’d say well yeah probably. Given that men seem to feel like they can seek it more and also seek it causally more. So there’s always more men looking. And always men that are, unfortunately, less bothered about the who than they are about the act. But the power to have sex theoretically should be shared, right? I can say no just as easily and as often as a woman. Do I though?
Nb: the ‘I’ is not me. "Is the having of sex more easily casual for men (is it more easy for men to be casual though?) because (just pondering and I don’t mean the sole reason) the act itself (for sex between a man and woman) a physically invasive process for a woman (the taking of a man inside her) in a way it isn’t for a man, so potentially create more of a sense of vulnerability? Obviously open to hearing from men who receive anally as an act of more vulnerability too. | |||
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" I think men need to just accept the reality of seeking sex online. Women are spoilt for choice. You have to just suck up the rejection. It’s gonna happen a lot. Learn to love yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re not enough. There’s just a power imbalance I think it extends past just online, but yes you are right, they need to wake up and realise that online, especially like fabs, most of you just won’t make the cut, don’t get upset about it. Do what works So many guys stick around on fabs despite it clearly negatively affecting their mental health. I’ve no idea why I think it’s ok to get upset. But I do think you have to learn to accept it. As to why they stay? I’d guess it’s the same reason someone plays the lottery. " In the sense that they have a dead end job and the hope of winning the lottery is easier than actually getting a better job Meaning, it’s easier to sit on fab and face a million faceless rejections then to face even 1 rejection in real life The sad reality is that is 1000x easier in real life if your willing to make the effort Yeah fab sucks for guys, but it’s easy, comfy, safe. The real world seems hard and scary. So they stay where it’s comfy, the path of least resistance | |||
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"… I just don’t think that’s a reality that possible for many guys the way society is now. But absolutely guys should not be putting themselves down for a bit of attention or a compliment. It’s gross to everyone, men and women alike. Pity parties never benefitted anyone I think men need to just accept the reality of seeking sex online. Women are spoilt for choice. You have to just suck up the rejection. It’s gonna happen a lot. Learn to love yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re not enough. There’s just a power imbalance If society didn't indoctrinate women that openly enjoying sex is worthy of contempt then maybe that power imbalance would be more equal. J Agreed. Maybe we should raise boys and girls the same "Completely. I do my best. I do my best with the ones that aren't mine too. J | |||
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"I'm not saying all men but some I chat to, say they don't think they're good looking enough or worthy enough get a chance with some women, It's upsetting that men feel they're not worthy and that some women are superior or too good for them. It feels as though men suffer in silence alot. With regards to this. Opinions.?? In the mean time happy fabbing and fucking everyone, Make the most of life's journey, you only get one chance at it "guess it comes down to personality and confidence without arrogance | |||
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"… I just don’t think that’s a reality that possible for many guys the way society is now. But absolutely guys should not be putting themselves down for a bit of attention or a compliment. It’s gross to everyone, men and women alike. Pity parties never benefitted anyone I think men need to just accept the reality of seeking sex online. Women are spoilt for choice. You have to just suck up the rejection. It’s gonna happen a lot. Learn to love yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re not enough. There’s just a power imbalance Do women hold the power for the getting of sex full stop, be it online or in real life? I’d say well yeah probably. Given that men seem to feel like they can seek it more and also seek it causally more. So there’s always more men looking. And always men that are, unfortunately, less bothered about the who than they are about the act. But the power to have sex theoretically should be shared, right? I can say no just as easily and as often as a woman. Do I though?
Nb: the ‘I’ is not me.
Is the having of sex more easily casual for men (is it more easy for men to be casual though?) because (just pondering and I don’t mean the sole reason) the act itself (for sex between a man and woman) a physically invasive process for a woman (the taking of a man inside her) in a way it isn’t for a man, so potentially create more of a sense of vulnerability?
Obviously open to hearing from men who receive anally as an act of more vulnerability too. "If having sex carried the risk of getting pregnant men would be pretty choosy too Our technology (birth control) has outpaced our instincts The same way we’re still afraid of the dark despite knowing there’s no monsters now Casual sex is easy for men because it doesn’t carry the risk of pregnancy. Pregnancy without the comforts of modern society is a dangerous thing. | |||
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"… I just don’t think that’s a reality that possible for many guys the way society is now. But absolutely guys should not be putting themselves down for a bit of attention or a compliment. It’s gross to everyone, men and women alike. Pity parties never benefitted anyone I think men need to just accept the reality of seeking sex online. Women are spoilt for choice. You have to just suck up the rejection. It’s gonna happen a lot. Learn to love yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re not enough. There’s just a power imbalance Do women hold the power for the getting of sex full stop, be it online or in real life? I’d say well yeah probably. Given that men seem to feel like they can seek it more and also seek it causally more. So there’s always more men looking. And always men that are, unfortunately, less bothered about the who than they are about the act. But the power to have sex theoretically should be shared, right? I can say no just as easily and as often as a woman. Do I though?
Nb: the ‘I’ is not me.
Is the having of sex more easily casual for men (is it more easy for men to be casual though?) because (just pondering and I don’t mean the sole reason) the act itself (for sex between a man and woman) a physically invasive process for a woman (the taking of a man inside her) in a way it isn’t for a man, so potentially create more of a sense of vulnerability?
Obviously open to hearing from men who receive anally as an act of more vulnerability too.
If having sex carried the risk of getting pregnant men would be pretty choosy too
Our technology (birth control) has outpaced our instincts
The same way we’re still afraid of the dark despite knowing there’s no monsters now
Casual sex is easy for men because it doesn’t carry the risk of pregnancy. Pregnancy without the comforts of modern society is a dangerous thing. "I think it’s more than the risk of pregnancy. There’s ways to mitigate that risk. | |||
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"… I just don’t think that’s a reality that possible for many guys the way society is now. But absolutely guys should not be putting themselves down for a bit of attention or a compliment. It’s gross to everyone, men and women alike. Pity parties never benefitted anyone I think men need to just accept the reality of seeking sex online. Women are spoilt for choice. You have to just suck up the rejection. It’s gonna happen a lot. Learn to love yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re not enough. There’s just a power imbalance Do women hold the power for the getting of sex full stop, be it online or in real life? I’d say well yeah probably. Given that men seem to feel like they can seek it more and also seek it causally more. So there’s always more men looking. And always men that are, unfortunately, less bothered about the who than they are about the act. But the power to have sex theoretically should be shared, right? I can say no just as easily and as often as a woman. Do I though?
Nb: the ‘I’ is not me.
Is the having of sex more easily casual for men (is it more easy for men to be casual though?) because (just pondering and I don’t mean the sole reason) the act itself (for sex between a man and woman) a physically invasive process for a woman (the taking of a man inside her) in a way it isn’t for a man, so potentially create more of a sense of vulnerability?
Obviously open to hearing from men who receive anally as an act of more vulnerability too. "I think, in my opinion, it’s to do with perhaps what you’re saying, why a woman might be less open to causal and plenty of partners. But, I reckon it’s more to do with what we have told women about having casual sex with many men. ‘Nobody wants a door that’s unlocked by many keys’ is something I heard said to girls in my younger years. I also think there’s wider issues. Threat of violence too. | |||
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"… I just don’t think that’s a reality that possible for many guys the way society is now. But absolutely guys should not be putting themselves down for a bit of attention or a compliment. It’s gross to everyone, men and women alike. Pity parties never benefitted anyone I think men need to just accept the reality of seeking sex online. Women are spoilt for choice. You have to just suck up the rejection. It’s gonna happen a lot. Learn to love yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re not enough. There’s just a power imbalance Do women hold the power for the getting of sex full stop, be it online or in real life? I’d say well yeah probably. Given that men seem to feel like they can seek it more and also seek it causally more. So there’s always more men looking. And always men that are, unfortunately, less bothered about the who than they are about the act. But the power to have sex theoretically should be shared, right? I can say no just as easily and as often as a woman. Do I though?
Nb: the ‘I’ is not me.
Is the having of sex more easily casual for men (is it more easy for men to be casual though?) because (just pondering and I don’t mean the sole reason) the act itself (for sex between a man and woman) a physically invasive process for a woman (the taking of a man inside her) in a way it isn’t for a man, so potentially create more of a sense of vulnerability?
Obviously open to hearing from men who receive anally as an act of more vulnerability too.
I think, in my opinion, it’s to do with perhaps what you’re saying, why a woman might be less open to causal and plenty of partners. But, I reckon it’s more to do with what we have told women about having casual sex with many men. ‘Nobody wants a door that’s unlocked by many keys’ is something I heard said to girls in my younger years. I also think there’s wider issues. Threat of violence too. "Yeah, I agree re the violence. And even putting that aside, I mean the violence of the act itself is what I’m reducing it down to too. | |||
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"… I just don’t think that’s a reality that possible for many guys the way society is now. But absolutely guys should not be putting themselves down for a bit of attention or a compliment. It’s gross to everyone, men and women alike. Pity parties never benefitted anyone I think men need to just accept the reality of seeking sex online. Women are spoilt for choice. You have to just suck up the rejection. It’s gonna happen a lot. Learn to love yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re not enough. There’s just a power imbalance Do women hold the power for the getting of sex full stop, be it online or in real life? I’d say well yeah probably. Given that men seem to feel like they can seek it more and also seek it causally more. So there’s always more men looking. And always men that are, unfortunately, less bothered about the who than they are about the act. But the power to have sex theoretically should be shared, right? I can say no just as easily and as often as a woman. Do I though?
Nb: the ‘I’ is not me.
Is the having of sex more easily casual for men (is it more easy for men to be casual though?) because (just pondering and I don’t mean the sole reason) the act itself (for sex between a man and woman) a physically invasive process for a woman (the taking of a man inside her) in a way it isn’t for a man, so potentially create more of a sense of vulnerability?
Obviously open to hearing from men who receive anally as an act of more vulnerability too.
If having sex carried the risk of getting pregnant men would be pretty choosy too
Our technology (birth control) has outpaced our instincts
The same way we’re still afraid of the dark despite knowing there’s no monsters now
Casual sex is easy for men because it doesn’t carry the risk of pregnancy. Pregnancy without the comforts of modern society is a dangerous thing.
I think it’s more than the risk of pregnancy. There’s ways to mitigate that risk. "Your instincts don’t understand mitigating risk That’s why people are still afraid of the dark despite their being no monsters, or will eat themselves to obesity despite having unlimited access to food Our instincts run under everything we do and can be hard to get past | |||
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"… I just don’t think that’s a reality that possible for many guys the way society is now. But absolutely guys should not be putting themselves down for a bit of attention or a compliment. It’s gross to everyone, men and women alike. Pity parties never benefitted anyone I think men need to just accept the reality of seeking sex online. Women are spoilt for choice. You have to just suck up the rejection. It’s gonna happen a lot. Learn to love yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re not enough. There’s just a power imbalance Do women hold the power for the getting of sex full stop, be it online or in real life? I’d say well yeah probably. Given that men seem to feel like they can seek it more and also seek it causally more. So there’s always more men looking. And always men that are, unfortunately, less bothered about the who than they are about the act. But the power to have sex theoretically should be shared, right? I can say no just as easily and as often as a woman. Do I though?
Nb: the ‘I’ is not me.
Is the having of sex more easily casual for men (is it more easy for men to be casual though?) because (just pondering and I don’t mean the sole reason) the act itself (for sex between a man and woman) a physically invasive process for a woman (the taking of a man inside her) in a way it isn’t for a man, so potentially create more of a sense of vulnerability?
Obviously open to hearing from men who receive anally as an act of more vulnerability too.
If having sex carried the risk of getting pregnant men would be pretty choosy too
Our technology (birth control) has outpaced our instincts
The same way we’re still afraid of the dark despite knowing there’s no monsters now
Casual sex is easy for men because it doesn’t carry the risk of pregnancy. Pregnancy without the comforts of modern society is a dangerous thing.
I think it’s more than the risk of pregnancy. There’s ways to mitigate that risk.
Your instincts don’t understand mitigating risk
That’s why people are still afraid of the dark despite their being no monsters, or will eat themselves to obesity despite having unlimited access to food
Our instincts run under everything we do and can be hard to get past "I don’t think, honestly, I’ve ever had a fear of risk of pregnancy driving my decision. But maybe it’s unconscious, I think violence is the driver. | |||
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"I'm not saying all men but some I chat to, say they don't think they're good looking enough or worthy enough get a chance with some women, It's upsetting that men feel they're not worthy and that some women are superior or too good for them. It feels as though men suffer in silence alot. With regards to this. Opinions.?? In the mean time happy fabbing and fucking everyone, Make the most of life's journey, you only get one chance at it "FACTS  | |||
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"… I just don’t think that’s a reality that possible for many guys the way society is now. But absolutely guys should not be putting themselves down for a bit of attention or a compliment. It’s gross to everyone, men and women alike. Pity parties never benefitted anyone I think men need to just accept the reality of seeking sex online. Women are spoilt for choice. You have to just suck up the rejection. It’s gonna happen a lot. Learn to love yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re not enough. There’s just a power imbalance Do women hold the power for the getting of sex full stop, be it online or in real life? I’d say well yeah probably. Given that men seem to feel like they can seek it more and also seek it causally more. So there’s always more men looking. And always men that are, unfortunately, less bothered about the who than they are about the act. But the power to have sex theoretically should be shared, right? I can say no just as easily and as often as a woman. Do I though?
Nb: the ‘I’ is not me.
Is the having of sex more easily casual for men (is it more easy for men to be casual though?) because (just pondering and I don’t mean the sole reason) the act itself (for sex between a man and woman) a physically invasive process for a woman (the taking of a man inside her) in a way it isn’t for a man, so potentially create more of a sense of vulnerability?
Obviously open to hearing from men who receive anally as an act of more vulnerability too.
If having sex carried the risk of getting pregnant men would be pretty choosy too
Our technology (birth control) has outpaced our instincts
The same way we’re still afraid of the dark despite knowing there’s no monsters now
Casual sex is easy for men because it doesn’t carry the risk of pregnancy. Pregnancy without the comforts of modern society is a dangerous thing.
I think it’s more than the risk of pregnancy. There’s ways to mitigate that risk.
Your instincts don’t understand mitigating risk
That’s why people are still afraid of the dark despite their being no monsters, or will eat themselves to obesity despite having unlimited access to food
Our instincts run under everything we do and can be hard to get past
I don’t think, honestly, I’ve ever had a fear of risk of pregnancy driving my decision. But maybe it’s unconscious, I think violence is the driver. "Both of those will be acting on your decisions, to different levels, both consciously and unconsciously Humans still have a lizard brain. We just developed the mammalian brain on top, and the neocortex on top of that The lizard brain (limbic cortex) is the part saying “sex = pregnancy and pregnancy = dangerous” | |||
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"… I just don’t think that’s a reality that possible for many guys the way society is now. But absolutely guys should not be putting themselves down for a bit of attention or a compliment. It’s gross to everyone, men and women alike. Pity parties never benefitted anyone I think men need to just accept the reality of seeking sex online. Women are spoilt for choice. You have to just suck up the rejection. It’s gonna happen a lot. Learn to love yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re not enough. There’s just a power imbalance Do women hold the power for the getting of sex full stop, be it online or in real life? I’d say well yeah probably. Given that men seem to feel like they can seek it more and also seek it causally more. So there’s always more men looking. And always men that are, unfortunately, less bothered about the who than they are about the act. But the power to have sex theoretically should be shared, right? I can say no just as easily and as often as a woman. Do I though?
Nb: the ‘I’ is not me.
Is the having of sex more easily casual for men (is it more easy for men to be casual though?) because (just pondering and I don’t mean the sole reason) the act itself (for sex between a man and woman) a physically invasive process for a woman (the taking of a man inside her) in a way it isn’t for a man, so potentially create more of a sense of vulnerability?
Obviously open to hearing from men who receive anally as an act of more vulnerability too.
If having sex carried the risk of getting pregnant men would be pretty choosy too
Our technology (birth control) has outpaced our instincts
The same way we’re still afraid of the dark despite knowing there’s no monsters now
Casual sex is easy for men because it doesn’t carry the risk of pregnancy. Pregnancy without the comforts of modern society is a dangerous thing.
I think it’s more than the risk of pregnancy. There’s ways to mitigate that risk.
Your instincts don’t understand mitigating risk
That’s why people are still afraid of the dark despite their being no monsters, or will eat themselves to obesity despite having unlimited access to food
Our instincts run under everything we do and can be hard to get past
I don’t think, honestly, I’ve ever had a fear of risk of pregnancy driving my decision. But maybe it’s unconscious, I think violence is the driver.
Both of those will be acting on your decisions, to different levels, both consciously and unconsciously
Humans still have a lizard brain. We just developed the mammalian brain on top, and the neocortex on top of that
The lizard brain (limbic cortex) is the part saying “sex = pregnancy and pregnancy = dangerous”"We can agree to disagree that potential of pregnancy is the driver. | |||
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"Casually reading this post and replys, Stephen mate you genuinely have a way with words sir genuinely what a mind and way of putting it down "Shout out to Pickle. | |||
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"… I just don’t think that’s a reality that possible for many guys the way society is now. But absolutely guys should not be putting themselves down for a bit of attention or a compliment. It’s gross to everyone, men and women alike. Pity parties never benefitted anyone I think men need to just accept the reality of seeking sex online. Women are spoilt for choice. You have to just suck up the rejection. It’s gonna happen a lot. Learn to love yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re not enough. There’s just a power imbalance Do women hold the power for the getting of sex full stop, be it online or in real life? I’d say well yeah probably. Given that men seem to feel like they can seek it more and also seek it causally more. So there’s always more men looking. And always men that are, unfortunately, less bothered about the who than they are about the act. But the power to have sex theoretically should be shared, right? I can say no just as easily and as often as a woman. Do I though?
Nb: the ‘I’ is not me.
Is the having of sex more easily casual for men (is it more easy for men to be casual though?) because (just pondering and I don’t mean the sole reason) the act itself (for sex between a man and woman) a physically invasive process for a woman (the taking of a man inside her) in a way it isn’t for a man, so potentially create more of a sense of vulnerability?
Obviously open to hearing from men who receive anally as an act of more vulnerability too.
I think, in my opinion, it’s to do with perhaps what you’re saying, why a woman might be less open to causal and plenty of partners. But, I reckon it’s more to do with what we have told women about having casual sex with many men. ‘Nobody wants a door that’s unlocked by many keys’ is something I heard said to girls in my younger years. I also think there’s wider issues. Threat of violence too.
Yeah, I agree re the violence. And even putting that aside, I mean the violence of the act itself is what I’m reducing it down to too. "I hear you but plenty of women love sex and find it wonderfully pleasurable. I think that what stops many women seeking casual sex with many different men is more than the violence of the act itself. I personally would be inclined to believe it’s the other stuff. The history of labels and of policing women’s actions and the threat of violence because of the power in society and lots of other things. Like you say, it’s hard because even men that are penetrated during sex (of many sexualities) appear to be more likely to have the casual sex with lots of partners than straight women | |||
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"Casually reading this post and replys, Stephen mate you genuinely have a way with words sir genuinely what a mind and way of putting it down "
Love Jamie
I use the drag text feature on my phone and make so many typos that I feel like the words don’t come out how I wish but thank you | |||
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"… I just don’t think that’s a reality that possible for many guys the way society is now. But absolutely guys should not be putting themselves down for a bit of attention or a compliment. It’s gross to everyone, men and women alike. Pity parties never benefitted anyone I think men need to just accept the reality of seeking sex online. Women are spoilt for choice. You have to just suck up the rejection. It’s gonna happen a lot. Learn to love yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re not enough. There’s just a power imbalance Do women hold the power for the getting of sex full stop, be it online or in real life? I’d say well yeah probably. Given that men seem to feel like they can seek it more and also seek it causally more. So there’s always more men looking. And always men that are, unfortunately, less bothered about the who than they are about the act. But the power to have sex theoretically should be shared, right? I can say no just as easily and as often as a woman. Do I though?
Nb: the ‘I’ is not me.
Is the having of sex more easily casual for men (is it more easy for men to be casual though?) because (just pondering and I don’t mean the sole reason) the act itself (for sex between a man and woman) a physically invasive process for a woman (the taking of a man inside her) in a way it isn’t for a man, so potentially create more of a sense of vulnerability?
Obviously open to hearing from men who receive anally as an act of more vulnerability too.
I think, in my opinion, it’s to do with perhaps what you’re saying, why a woman might be less open to causal and plenty of partners. But, I reckon it’s more to do with what we have told women about having casual sex with many men. ‘Nobody wants a door that’s unlocked by many keys’ is something I heard said to girls in my younger years. I also think there’s wider issues. Threat of violence too.
Yeah, I agree re the violence. And even putting that aside, I mean the violence of the act itself is what I’m reducing it down to too.
I hear you but plenty of women love sex and find it wonderfully pleasurable. I think that what stops many women seeking casual sex with many different men is more than the violence of the act itself. I personally would be inclined to believe it’s the other stuff. The history of labels and of policing women’s actions and the threat of violence because of the power in society and lots of other things.
Like you say, it’s hard because even men that are penetrated during sex (of many sexualities) appear to be more likely to have the casual sex with lots of partners than straight women"Yeah that’s true. I totally agree with you re the societal conditioning and the fear of violence - sorry, I didn’t mean to come across as if I was negating those - I 100 per cent concur. I’m just interested in a conversation I’ve had rumbling with others for a while simply about the act of sex for those that receive and those that don’t. But it’s taking everyone off topic, so my apologies for railroading. I’ll save it for a chat another time.  | |||
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"Estella, I’m gonna need to be a part of that chat another time "I meant a chat with ya. | |||
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"I'm not saying all men but some I chat to, say they don't think they're good looking enough or worthy enough get a chance with some women, It's upsetting that men feel they're not worthy and that some women are superior or too good for them. It feels as though men suffer in silence alot. With regards to this. Opinions.?? In the mean time happy fabbing and fucking everyone, Make the most of life's journey, you only get one chance at it "Think low self esteem seams to be epic proportions these days with both sexes. Never something I've ever had problem with. You like me or you don't. But has to be mutual respect has to be there for me. | |||
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"… I just don’t think that’s a reality that possible for many guys the way society is now. But absolutely guys should not be putting themselves down for a bit of attention or a compliment. It’s gross to everyone, men and women alike. Pity parties never benefitted anyone I think men need to just accept the reality of seeking sex online. Women are spoilt for choice. You have to just suck up the rejection. It’s gonna happen a lot. Learn to love yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re not enough. There’s just a power imbalance "Suck up the rejection" doesn't seem a very empathetic response from you, Pickle? But I am empathetic. We have to suck up the rejection in the sense we have to learn to accept that it happens. And it will happen. A lot. You cannot change that. What you can do is, like I go on to say, Learn to love yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re not enough. By suck it up I don’t mean don’t feel anything. I mean accept it. You have to. " Ah, I understand better. | |||
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"I guess it can be the endless comparison you get to pictures of beautiful bodies that are up on sites like this. But, Take a look at a typical high street or seafront and you will see lots of lots of very ordinary looking, heck sometimes even not very good looking people and they are happily partnered and think nothing of not being good enough. Fab can give a tunnel vision of what a desirable human must look like. " I find this exactly the same as a woman though - do other women? | |||
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"I’ve felt like that sometimes, repeated rejection can really hurt sometimes and is a hammer blow to confidence . I have been laught at before when asking someone out for a date that was rather brutal . I have genuinely being surprised when some women who would consider way out of my league have been attracted to me which has boosted my confidence " Personally I dislike the word rejection with regard to a person, I see it as just not being what they are looking for. I would never feel that I was less than anyone else but I also don't see myself as more than them. It's about self worth and realising that it is yourself that defines you, not others. | |||
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"I’ve felt like that sometimes, repeated rejection can really hurt sometimes and is a hammer blow to confidence . I have been laught at before when asking someone out for a date that was rather brutal . I have genuinely being surprised when some women who would consider way out of my league have been attracted to me which has boosted my confidence Personally I dislike the word rejection with regard to a person, I see it as just not being what they are looking for. I would never feel that I was less than anyone else but I also don't see myself as more than them. It's about self worth and realising that it is yourself that defines you, not others. " That’s a very good point and now you mention it the word requesting doesn’t really suit | |||
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"I'm like that. If a woman looks out of my League I just leave it and move on" How do we place people in leagues? | |||
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"I'm like that. If a woman looks out of my League I just leave it and move on" Same, better to not waste mine or her time I know my limits | |||
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"I'm like that. If a woman looks out of my League I just leave it and move on How do we place people in leagues? " If they look too attractive etc.. | |||
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"I'm like that. If a woman looks out of my League I just leave it and move on How do we place people in leagues? If they look too attractive etc.." What leagues are there? Can you get relegated/promoted? How? How many points for a win? Does goal difference count? Golden goal? Penalty shootouts? How do you make a league for people you'd bump uglies with? | |||
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"I'm like that. If a woman looks out of my League I just leave it and move on How do we place people in leagues? " Just looking at your profile, if I were in your age range I wouldn't bother you, your a bit too hot and attractive and gregarious | |||
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"So you’ll feel sorry for them and fuck them" For some that is thier goal, for others it is a genuine mindset. | |||
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"I'm like that. If a woman looks out of my League I just leave it and move on How do we place people in leagues? If they look too attractive etc.. What leagues are there? Can you get relegated/promoted? How? How many points for a win? Does goal difference count? Golden goal? Penalty shootouts? How do you make a league for people you'd bump uglies with?" Lack of self confidence possibly. Never mind I was trying to explain but I'll bow out now . | |||
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"I'm like that. If a woman looks out of my League I just leave it and move on How do we place people in leagues? Just looking at your profile, if I were in your age range I wouldn't bother you, your a bit too hot and attractive and gregarious " You should see her eyes. Honestly stunning. | |||
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"I'm like that. If a woman looks out of my League I just leave it and move on Same, better to not waste mine or her time I know my limits " not me. I’m an arrogant fool. I think I’m gorgeous | |||
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"I'm like that. If a woman looks out of my League I just leave it and move on How do we place people in leagues? If they look too attractive etc.. What leagues are there? Can you get relegated/promoted? How? How many points for a win? Does goal difference count? Golden goal? Penalty shootouts? How do you make a league for people you'd bump uglies with?" It’s basically like the European super league that never happened | |||
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"So you’ll feel sorry for them and fuck them" Damn! You’ve sussed the master plan … god I’m so unworthy.. oh look 31 mins until my birthday. That’s another ploy as well | |||
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"I'm like that. If a woman looks out of my League I just leave it and move on How do we place people in leagues? If they look too attractive etc.. What leagues are there? Can you get relegated/promoted? How? How many points for a win? Does goal difference count? Golden goal? Penalty shootouts? How do you make a league for people you'd bump uglies with? It’s basically like the European super league that never happened" My team are one of the strongest in the whole football league | |||
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"So you’ll feel sorry for them and fuck them" Why do you women always twist and warp what people say?!  | |||
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"Well I'm younger suffered a lot of bullying and violence off students when younger stabbed etc. Was told I was shit and worthless most days and after 10+ years you start to believe it But I have improved massively and improved a load Gained confidence love life and can't really complain too much " | |||
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"I'm like that. If a woman looks out of my League I just leave it and move on How do we place people in leagues? " We place ourselves in them | |||
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"I'm like that. If a woman looks out of my League I just leave it and move on How do we place people in leagues? We place ourselves in them" I didn't get that memo | |||
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"I'm not saying all men but some I chat to, say they don't think they're good looking enough or worthy enough get a chance with some women, It's upsetting that men feel they're not worthy and that some women are superior or too good for them. It feels as though men suffer in silence alot. With regards to this. Opinions.?? In the mean time happy fabbing and fucking everyone, Make the most of life's journey, you only get one chance at it "Is this after messaging them in the first place? All I'd say is if you think you're punching well above your weight then don't bother messaging them | |||
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"I'm not saying all men but some I chat to, say they don't think they're good looking enough or worthy enough get a chance with some women, It's upsetting that men feel they're not worthy and that some women are superior or too good for them. It feels as though men suffer in silence alot. With regards to this. Opinions.?? In the mean time happy fabbing and fucking everyone, Make the most of life's journey, you only get one chance at it
Is this after messaging them in the first place?
All I'd say is if you think you're punching well above your weight then don't bother messaging them"I'm above most people's weights, including my own husband. I'm confused about my life choices right now. | |||
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"I'm like that. If a woman looks out of my League I just leave it and move on How do we place people in leagues? We place ourselves in them" Exactly this | |||
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"I'm like that. If a woman looks out of my League I just leave it and move on How do we place people in leagues? We place ourselves in them I didn't get that memo "Good for you! Genuinely. I think it's a stupid mindset and I wish I didn't see things that way. And then I get messages from guys saying "I know I'm not in your league but" and I half want to and half feel sorry for them. But no part of me wants to shag them. | |||
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"The OP post I looked at pic and thought lovely but absolutely no chance. I probably cant adequately explain it, I don’t think younger women or attractive woman like the OP would be into me and I just ‘stay in my lane’. Better not to have ideas, than continually get a knock back " They say it’s better to aim for the stars and land in the mud, then aim for the mud and make it But I think landing in the mud enough times get tiring, so you start taking more calculated shots with a better chance at success | |||
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"The OP post I looked at pic and thought lovely but absolutely no chance. I probably cant adequately explain it, I don’t think younger women or attractive woman like the OP would be into me and I just ‘stay in my lane’. Better not to have ideas, than continually get a knock back They say it’s better to aim for the stars and land in the mud, then aim for the mud and make it But I think landing in the mud enough times get tiring, so you start taking more calculated shots with a better chance at success " Even with a plan or ability to handle a knock back, I think at a certain point the damage from all those crash landings adds up | |||
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"… I just don’t think that’s a reality that possible for many guys the way society is now. But absolutely guys should not be putting themselves down for a bit of attention or a compliment. It’s gross to everyone, men and women alike. Pity parties never benefitted anyone I think men need to just accept the reality of seeking sex online. Women are spoilt for choice. You have to just suck up the rejection. It’s gonna happen a lot. Learn to love yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re not enough. There’s just a power imbalance If society didn't indoctrinate women that openly enjoying sex is worthy of contempt then maybe that power imbalance would be more equal. J" Round of applause! | |||
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"I'm not saying all men but some I chat to, say they don't think they're good looking enough or worthy enough get a chance with some women, It's upsetting that men feel they're not worthy and that some women are superior or too good for them. It feels as though men suffer in silence alot. With regards to this. Opinions.?? In the mean time happy fabbing and fucking everyone, Make the most of life's journey, you only get one chance at it "Men are no different from women. There are loads that suffer in silence. | |||
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I’m certainly not gonna disclose my personal vulnerabilities to strangers I’m getting to know, they aren’t relevant and it’s inappropriate, but once I know someone well and trust them I would want to
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"So you’ll feel sorry for them and fuck them" This is not the case for many of us. I'm not looking sympathy, but I know my dating history and I've heard the nasty things people say to us less good looking boys while growing up. I know im average looking at best. I don't go crying about it or talking about it, but I'll not approach many women because I've always thought they could get a better looking guy than me and thus would want to. Also, I can come across as confident enough when chatting to people because I'm open, friendly and like to have a laugh, but inside I have low self esteem. Have I said all this in the hope I'll get a pity fuck, not at all. I'm just being open and honest about my own personal experiences. | |||
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But, I’m also not stupid enough to not aproach a woman I like, because I don’t think it’s gone too far that woman aren’t attractive to a person as a whole, and that manners and a pleasant personality where you can feel you can be yourself around someone is more important than someone’s looks. Just like men see women in the same way.  | |||
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"Women are spoilt for choice. " Women *men generally deem attractive* are spoilt for choice. As a fat, 50 year old, I am most certainly not spoilt for choice. Do I get more messages than a fat, 50 year old man? Probably. But very, very few of those messages are from men I find attractive or interesting, so the end result is the same. And most are from chancers who are outside my age range, who smoke, who are cheating etc. For some of us, that "choice" is an illusion. | |||
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"I'm like that. If a woman looks out of my League I just leave it and move on How do we place people in leagues? We place ourselves in them" This and we are strict as hell about doing it, with nearly 0 room for negotiation from people who can see their beauty. It's hard being drawn into someone's spiral of not being enough, the initial attraction does fade, the more they distance themselves from you. Constant self deprecation is another filter on here for me. | |||
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"Women are spoilt for choice. Women *men generally deem attractive* are spoilt for choice. As a fat, 50 year old, I am most certainly not spoilt for choice. Do I get more messages than a fat, 50 year old man? Probably. But very, very few of those messages are from men I find attractive or interesting, so the end result is the same. And most are from chancers who are outside my age range, who smoke, who are cheating etc. For some of us, that "choice" is an illusion. " Well of course this issue exists but this issue technically exists for everyone. Any choice anyone has on here is limited by whether the attraction is mutual. Are you your type’s type? Like as a Black man, I get more interest than some but they’re from race fetishisers often and I’m not interested in them. Spoilt for choice was the wrong way to word it on reflection. But the point I was trying to make was it feels like for many men, women, should they want to just have sex with anyone (as many men on here want), could in theory do that quite easily but men can’t. (I’m not saying that’s something anyone should want to do btw but it’s something people do want to do). | |||
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Instead of feeling sorry for myself or being an ass kisser to get anywhere. I looked at problem & did something about it. Found things that bring me joy & happiness & these made me realise my self worth & confidence  . Now when I look at an attractive profile on Fab for example i never think ‘oh they out my league’ I think hmm do they look worth my time & effort perusing them ‘yes or no’ | |||
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"So you’ll feel sorry for them and fuck them" Harsh! | |||
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"They all have a favourite film star, musician, sportsman. Even in a relationship, they will make this quite clear. Makes is step up our game though I suppose!" Who's they? | |||
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" ... But Gen Z are coming and they can’t even talk to each other in person. So the whole fucking human race should be extinct anyway. Things will sort themselves out. ..." If we have already reached generation Z, then extinction shouldn't be too far away! | |||
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"As soon as someone gives me the I'm not worthy vibe I'm out " | |||
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"They all have a favourite film star, musician, sportsman. Even in a relationship, they will make this quite clear. Makes is step up our game though I suppose!" What does this mean? | |||
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"… I think men need to just accept the reality of seeking sex online. Women are spoilt for choice. You have to just suck up the rejection. It’s gonna happen a lot. Learn to love yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re not enough. There’s just a power imbalance " I agree with Mr Pickles on this. I've heard from a lot of guys that they have better luck on dating sites than on a sex site. If there is an imbalance against you, then move to a space where your chances will increase! Sadly as mentioned above, the younger generations coming through will have less social skills than us oldies! | |||
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"As i TV i hate seeing men who don't feel like they can make themselves look beautiful because of the stigma around it. "if you pamper yourself too much you must be gay" such an old fashioned idea. Id love men to be more expressive of their sexuality in everyday life. Doesn't mean they need to practice feminisation but go get your eye brows waxed, style your beard, wear clothes that show off your figure. Thats the bit about equality that men as a whole don't get. Equality means men need to put more of an effort into becoming sexually attractive. It isn't given, takes effort. " Well said, and I think this gets worse as we get older. Both men and women can be accussed of 'giving up' (yes this is a generalisation) in making an effort in how we present ourselves! It's all very well for some of us to say "stuff it, I've got to an age where take me or leave me, this is me!" But we can't then moan when we don't attract anyone, or people we want! | |||
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"Women are spoilt for choice. Women *men generally deem attractive* are spoilt for choice. As a fat, 50 year old, I am most certainly not spoilt for choice. Do I get more messages than a fat, 50 year old man? Probably. But very, very few of those messages are from men I find attractive or interesting, so the end result is the same. And most are from chancers who are outside my age range, who smoke, who are cheating etc. For some of us, that "choice" is an illusion. " I totally agree with you, I'm definitely not spoilt for choice, far from it. If I offered instashag with delivery to those I don't find particularly interesting, don't have similar interests/ connection etc, frankly not particularly fussy then yes, choice would be greater. | |||
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"I agree, Op. I get men saying "sorry to bother you" and so forth - I haven't gained the impression they're out for sympathy. Just struggling. And I do feel bad for them. Because if your self-esteem isn't rock solid - single guys can get crushed here. " Thank you for saying this  | |||
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"...if someone approached me with the same attitude...I wouldn't find it attractive either. I understand it maybe difficult for some but judging your worth by your ability to get sex on here isn't a very healthy mindset. " Totally agree with this. I did that years ago and it just left me feeling empty and worthless! | |||
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"They all have a favourite film star, musician, sportsman. Even in a relationship, they will make this quite clear. Makes is step up our game though I suppose! " Quite apart from not understanding what the final sentence means, I am sure that there are many people, men or women, who,like me, do not idolise anybody. | |||
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"They all have a favourite film star, musician, sportsman. Even in a relationship, they will make this quite clear. Makes is step up our game though I suppose! Quite apart from not understanding what the final sentence means, I am sure that there are many people, men or women, who,like me, do not idolise anybody." I don't idolise either. If you're alright with me, I'll be alright with you. I get where some people come from though, especially where you see people saying they have to be 'exceptional'. What does that actually mean? Physicality? Mental ability? Is this the Krypton Factor?  | |||
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"So you’ll feel sorry for them and fuck them" Short and to the point but probably true in a lot of cases. Some guys could feel really insecure and lack confidence, unfortunately if they are like that Fab isn’t the place for them. | |||
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"Like I've said up there I've never been fully confident in my looks. I did let it hold me back when I was younger and didn't have a lot of confidence approaching women. However, I don't think men who genuinely feel like this use it as a tactic to get women to sleep with them. Conventional wisdom is that women like confident men so it doesn't make sense in this regard. In answer to above I still try to make the best of myself even so. I do get my monobrow done, keep my beard trimmed, I wear nice clothes when appropriate. I've gotten better and more confident with age. My advice to those men who do feel the same, is firstly make the best of what you've got. And secondly stop making the decision for the woman on her behalf, yes she might turn you down, but you thinking she'll turn you down so not even trying is definitely not going to work. Women have told me I'm handsome, I don't quite believe them, but if I didn't try to get with them and just assumed they wouldn't be interested I would never have gotten with them. " | |||
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"... stop making the decision for the woman on her behalf " I agree. And would expand it to change "the woman" to "other people" because it applies more broadly in other social areas than just romantic/dating. But I also appreciate how difficult that can be if you have experienced a lot of rejection in life, from society and people you are romantically and sexually attracted to. Especially for men who are socialised not to express their emotions in a healthy way, and are frequently shamed when they finally do try to communicate them, or are assumed to have an ulterior motive. | |||
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"It’s true that men often suffer in silence and may not feel comfortable sharing their feelings with others. It’s important to create a safe and supportive environment where men can feel comfortable expressing their emotions and seeking help when needed. My question in response is how many take time to create this environment? In a community such as Fab I see very little of it which then conditions men to be a certain way which in turns pushes men further into silence. Marc" Aren't men of a certain age already conditioned by the time they find fab? | |||
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"It’s true that men often suffer in silence and may not feel comfortable sharing their feelings with others. It’s important to create a safe and supportive environment where men can feel comfortable expressing their emotions and seeking help when needed. My question in response is how many take time to create this environment? In a community such as Fab I see very little of it which then conditions men to be a certain way which in turns pushes men further into silence. Marc Aren't men of a certain age already conditioned by the time they find fab?" Yes in many aspects of life but when often men join fab as a break from normal life they can find the same conditioning. As many have said to me to the point of arguing fab is a sex site so the rejection from a sexual pov is something that haven't faced before. Personally I've always approached fab as a swinging community where occasionally you can find someone that likes you enough to get naked with you. Writing this it really makes me think that mindset and approach plays a large part in fab and in life and if really is how deep the conditing runs and how much work we are willing to put in. But my point still stands that we don't have the same environment for men that we do for women. Even from a same sex support structure. Marc | |||
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"This place can be brutal, but if you enter it expecting people to be judgemental and proffer opinions on your physique etc then it's easier to cope with the rejection or opinion. I find it's much more hurtful when you're not expecting it and when nothing is being sort in a sexual or relationship way. For example a college lecturer commenting on whether my arms work because I had the temerity to wear a tee shirt on a hot day and as a skinny teen that has and continues to damage my image of my body. It's also been reinforced by other girls/women commenting on my physique and laughing when engaged in sport tournaments. As you can tell I'm still affected by these comments and my own opinion of my body changes on my relationship status and my fitness level. Be careful of what you say to people it can and does affect them" I can remember seeing adverts for a well known body building course showing mocking girls saying "Couldn't you laugh at his bean pole figure? We call him Skinny Jimmy". Also the PE istructor (ex services quasi teacher) frequent saying "Are you a boy or a yard of pumpwater?" to several pupils. If that were to happen now, irate parents would be 'straight up the school' demamding the offender's dismissal. Luckily we live in different times, so things should improve. Anyone heard about the geyser in Yellowstone who couldn't match up to Old Faithful? The youngster, unfortunately, had low sulphur steam. | |||
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