FabSwingers.com forum: Smacking children

By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Reports that the English government are resisting a ban on the smacking of children..

Preferring the .. Reasonable Chastisement Rule.

Apparently the Scots and Welsh have a ban. Not sure about the Irish.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone who feels like they can't parent without using physical force really should be rethinking having children in the first place. It's not just the physical trauma, its the psychological trauma too. Anyone doing this is just teaching children that losing control and violence is the only way to get their own way and the cycle of how they treat other human beings will continue in the future.

100% agree a ban should be in place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can’t understand why anyone would need to smash a child?! Never seen a positive reaction to it and don’t think I ever will. Kids are surprisingly easy if you take the time to get to know them as individuals and what makes them tick

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

There are more ways creating low self esteem or anti social behaviour including aggression in a child than smacking.

It's not enough to say you don't smack your child. There is so much examination and reflection you should undertake of how your behaviour and lifestyle choices affect your children in very many ways.

There is no guarantee that a psychologically happy and healthy child is going to be reared by replacing a quick smack with an hours emotional agony.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

Never hit any of my Children and they’re doing fine. I was regularly hit as a child, must’ve deserved it in some way surely ?

Broke an ornament playing with my sister, hit with a shoe. Stole 50p to buy sweets for the Saturday morning club cinema, spanked. Several other minor crimes that ensured violence was meted out rather than some other punishment. Even my crossdressing got my Father so angry he punched me several times when he found out.

Not for me or my Children, it’s wrong and you’ll never ever convince me otherwise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Strange debate on a swingers site forum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Never hit any of my Children and they’re doing fine. I was regularly hit as a child, must’ve deserved it in some way surely ?

Not for me or my Children, it’s wrong and you’ll never ever convince me otherwise. "

It was widely accepted back in the day wasn’t it. Like you say, usually for the most silly things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't smack, I never have. It makes me incredibly uncomfortable.

People don't usually go around smacking adults for doing something wrong etc why would you do it to the person your meant to love and care for. I don't understand how that's teaching them anything, only that they get punished for not doing exactly what they are told to do. Why is it acceptable to do that to children but illegal to do it to an adult. It makes no sense to me.

Domestic violence happens but I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the ones that think smacking a child is ok but would never do it to an adult.

I hate physical force, nobody has the right to touch another's body to inflict harm.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Definitely wrong Steph but ....... it was the done thing back then. I'm not saying that makes it okay, I am saying we learn and move on.

Society itself was more violent to adults in the days that smacking was allowed. Even the law of the land metered out physical punishments.

Times change

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Strange debate on a swingers site forum

Why? What's your reasoning behind that ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are so many different reasons why a child could be acting up, that smacking is very likely counter productive.

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By *929Man
over a year ago

newcastle

I thought smacking was already banned years ago? I could never have hit any of my kids growing up I remember I shouted at my daughter once and she ran off and sat on the stairs and cried so I followed and sat next to her and just held her and apologised profusely I still feel guilty to this day about it and wish I could undo it. Another time the two of them were making loads of noise with the dog (dogs big and sounds so loud bounding about on suspended timber floors downstairs) and went to investigate and opened the door and said they making too much noise and they both had a ball in hand for the dog and just froze with their little faces looking at me the image is burned in my brain now I felt like a monster. I know this sounds soft but you can’t help it when it’s your kids luckily explaining their actions and why it was wrong always worked the ex did desert to smacking them and I hated it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A grown adult who feels justified to hit a child is a cunt. I won’t ever be convinced otherwise.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Got to say........ I also thought it was banned long ago ......

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

"Definitely wrong Steph but ....... it was the done thing back then. I'm not saying that makes it okay, I am saying we learn and move on.

Society itself was more violent to adults in the days that smacking was allowed. Even the law of the land metered out physical punishments.

Times change"

I agree all of my friends were hit I don’t hate my parents for the violence, admittedly they only hit me and my brother not my sister. In the 70’s and 80’s it was quite common to see children hit in the Supermarket.

But when I was hit both my parents were angry and neither held back, we got full force.

I hope society has moved on and no new laws are required and it’s just seen as not the done thing.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Children's behaviour is their way of communicating. Their self-regulation isn't developed enough for them to control their actions, or it could be that they're investigating your reactions. If their behaviour makes you see red enough to use your vastly superior strength to chastise them then all you're teaching them is to be scared of you and that they can't trust you.

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

I've not smacked for reasons that are my own.. but I on rare occasion got smacked by both my parents and was nor harmed by it.

In fact it very quickly made me realise I'd pushed to far and would do my best not to repeat what caused it.

I almost laugh at the restrictions put on parents now to chastise children. Apparently raising voices and using the step are now bad too.

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By *aggonerMan
over a year ago

for a penny

What about other peoples’ children?

Surely no one minds smacking them?

What are children for otherwise?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was smacked as a child and I've not suffered any mental or physical problems through it. I only have memories of a happy childhood.

If I stepped out of line too far then I deserved to be disciplined. I still trusted my parents and love them to the moon and back.

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By *apperMystiqueMan
over a year ago

east Glasgow

I was just going to say the same as ruby above. I got a hiding not only from my parents but also my friends parents if I stepped too far over the line and no issues with me!! (Some may argue that however lol)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All animals use physical punishment on their young to teach them social rules ... and no I do not condone any violence but today's children seem (seem is the word) to have less respect for their parents than we did as children and now are pushing more rules with violence as young adults.

Tbh I thought smacking was against the law too as many above have said.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I was smacked as a child and I've not suffered any mental or physical problems through it. I only have memories of a happy childhood.

If I stepped out of line too far then I deserved to be disciplined. I still trusted my parents and love them to the moon and back.

This for me too. I’m talking a slap on the legs though, probably same as you. Big difference to a belt or a beating.

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By *ixed MisterMan
over a year ago

London

I'm very much each to their own on this one, I was smacked as a kid either hand or back of legs/bum, and always understood why I was being smacked. This hasn't affected my relationship or feelings towards my parents, i still see my dad as the best man on the planet.

That said I don't smack my kids because I can't attach any aggressive actions towards them at all.

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

"All animals use physical punishment on their young to teach them social rules ... and no I do not condone any violence but today's children seem (seem is the word) to have less respect for their parents than we did as children and now are pushing more rules with violence as young adults.

Tbh I thought smacking was against the law too as many above have said. "
they seem to have less respect for authority full stop to be honest.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

As someone who works with children this thread is difficult for me. There is always an alternative to violence when parenting. You can still have firm boundaries without hitting a child.

I'm not coming back onto this as it will upset me but if anyone would like resources for a kinder way of parenting then our filters are currently dropped.

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

Used to get smacked back in the day and can’t say it ever gave me trauma.

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By *appytaffWoman
over a year ago

blackwood

As a child growing up on the 80s and 90s I ws only ever snakes twice ( my mum had the look that was really effective )

However on both occasions it’s when I had done something where I could have come to harm for example I got my hand slapped for trying to touch my nans open fire

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By *rednwilma1Couple
over a year ago

york

"I was smacked as a child and I've not suffered any mental or physical problems through it. I only have memories of a happy childhood.

If I stepped out of line too far then I deserved to be disciplined. I still trusted my parents and love them to the moon and back.

As above, back in the day a slap on the legs taught me to respect my elders and learn how not to mis behave... nowadays, un smacked children grow to have no respect and are almost feral !!! just look at the state of our once great nation now with the snowflakes in charge !!!!!!!

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

"I was smacked as a child and I've not suffered any mental or physical problems through it. I only have memories of a happy childhood.

If I stepped out of line too far then I deserved to be disciplined. I still trusted my parents and love them to the moon and back.

This for me too. I’m talking a slap on the legs though, probably same as you. Big difference to a belt or a beating. "

Exactly the same for me aswell.

The problems arise when what starts as this but over time escalates to something far more.

I understand the argument that in order to deal with abuse you have to remove any doubt and have an unambiguous policy.

As I said, a quick and light slap around the legs certainly worked on me but for how many other children was this just the tip of the iceberg.

It’s always going to be a contentious issue.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Whilst I don't agree with smacking we have reached a tipping point in society where the children now have the upper hand.

Don't believe me go into any secondary school, primary, children's home etc...

Lot's of children under 18 basically do whatever the fuck they like as they know that there's zero consequences for their actions as well as teaching them nothing about right and wrong,it leaves parents, teachers and carers impotent to carry out any form of discipline and for the most part are just observer's of our of control behaviour.

Not to mention the financial costs involved.

Obviously I AM NOT suggesting violence as a treatment but there must be some sort of deterrent to prevent further anti social behaviour?

How that comes about I have no idea,but the simple fact that at an early age the threat of a smack maybe enough to deter bad behaviour I have no idea.

I'm not a child psychologist but it seems some drastic changes are required to quell the out of control children who are going to grow up to become out of control adults.

The biggest problem seems to be that a whole generation grown up and growing up don't understand the word NO.

I will once again say smacking is NOT what I am saying but unless someone can suggest something better than "there there please don't smash up the neighbours car there's a good boy, now come and play on your playstation as a reward for not carrying on" I'm open to all suggestions.

There has to be consequences for bad behaviour but we seem to have become lazy and afraid to dish out harsh discipline.

(Not physical violence for those who decided to misinterpret my comments.

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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago

Brighton

I do not condone smacking children or any form of physical violence. However, while rules and law changes are often started from a good intention, there are unintended consequences. We appear to now live in a society where a large number of kids (perhaps the majority) have no respect for authority.

The ultimate sanction is no longer severe enough to act as a deterrent.

I may have this wrong but I believe schools can no longer expel kids? WTF! You hear stories of kids being disruptive in school. Getting sanctioned by teachers and then the parents complaining or having a go at the teacher.

Again, not condoning any form of violence, but we do seem to have become too soft and if boundaries and sanctions are too wooly or soft, then there are no deterrents for curbing bad behaviour.

These kids with little or no respect grow into adults creating ever more social issues including the increase in anti-social behaviour.

I think the good intentions (to try and stop what in some cases amounts to child abuse) end up going too far.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anyone who feels like they can't parent without using physical force really should be rethinking having children in the first place. It's not just the physical trauma, its the psychological trauma too. Anyone doing this is just teaching children that losing control and violence is the only way to get their own way and the cycle of how they treat other human beings will continue in the future.

100% agree a ban should be in place."

Or you just joke about it years later to hide the underlying trauma it may have caused

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

"Whilst I don't agree with smacking we have reached a tipping point in society where the children now have the upper hand.

Don't believe me go into any secondary school, primary, children's home etc...

Not to mention the financial costs involved.

Obviously I AM NOT suggesting violence as a treatment but there must be some sort of deterrent to prevent further anti social behaviour?

How that comes about I have no idea,but the simple fact that at an early age the threat of a smack maybe enough to deter bad behaviour I have no idea.

I'm not a child psychologist but it seems some drastic changes are required to quell the out of control children who are going to grow up to become out of control adults.

The biggest problem seems to be that a whole generation grown up and growing up don't understand the word NO.

There has to be consequences for bad behaviour but we seem to have become lazy and afraid to dish out harsh discipline.

(Not physical violence for those who decided to misinterpret my comments."

I would agree with the above and would add, when sanctioning children in some way as a punishment, all too often parents don’t follow it through fully and so it becomes an empty gesture that the child then has no respect for.

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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago

Brighton

Ah Jools and the brain just explained my point better than I did

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

Maybe a solution is to have 2 kids and have them duke it out Thunderdome style?

Two kids enter, one kid leaves!

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By *tokedaytimeguyMan
over a year ago

stoke

I have a 20 year old son. Never raised a hand to him. To be fair to him I never felt the need as he’s a pretty chilled kid with a really decent set of morals. Very considerate to others. And trust me. I did have a standard of behaviour I expected him to uphold.

Growing up in the 70’s & 80’s my parents (mum to be fair) did on occasion smack me as a child. I genuinely did overstep and deserved it on those few occasions too! The threat was there though. And that was the deterrent! That look and comment you’ll get my slipper was enough to have me realising the error of my ways!

I do seriously believe we have an issue in our society with respect and behaviour in the younger generations though. Kids do need to learn that actions have consequences in my opinion. It is a seriously important life lesson. I think the life they lead nowadays stuck in front of a computer screen or tv constantly has something to do with it. I grew up outside dawn till dusk. We mixed with kids of various ages and certainly knew our place in the pecking order. If we were cheeky to one of the older kids we’d get a clip off one of them.

Just my two penneth!

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

I sometimes got a smack on the bum together with a shout from Mum or Dad. However, more effective was a ban from seeing friends and early bed.

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By *opetop4UMan
over a year ago

Aberdeen

"Whilst I don't agree with smacking we have reached a tipping point in society where the children now have the upper hand.

Don't believe me go into any secondary school, primary, children's home etc...

Not to mention the financial costs involved.

Obviously I AM NOT suggesting violence as a treatment but there must be some sort of deterrent to prevent further anti social behaviour?

How that comes about I have no idea,but the simple fact that at an early age the threat of a smack maybe enough to deter bad behaviour I have no idea.

I'm not a child psychologist but it seems some drastic changes are required to quell the out of control children who are going to grow up to become out of control adults.

The biggest problem seems to be that a whole generation grown up and growing up don't understand the word NO.

There has to be consequences for bad behaviour but we seem to have become lazy and afraid to dish out harsh discipline.

(Not physical violence for those who decided to misinterpret my comments."

Superb post.

I smacked my son three times and my daughter once.

On one occasion my son said he was going to pee on his bedroom carpet.

I said if he did, he would get a smack.

He did it and got a smack.

I said if he did it again, he'd get two smacks He did it again and got two smacks.

I said if he did it again, he'd get three smacks.

He was never smacked again.

I'm in Scotland, it wouldn't be allowed now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I thought smacking was already banned years ago? I could never have hit any of my kids growing up I remember I shouted at my daughter once and she ran off and sat on the stairs and cried so I followed and sat next to her and just held her and apologised profusely I still feel guilty to this day about it and wish I could undo it. Another time the two of them were making loads of noise with the dog (dogs big and sounds so loud bounding about on suspended timber floors downstairs) and went to investigate and opened the door and said they making too much noise and they both had a ball in hand for the dog and just froze with their little faces looking at me the image is burned in my brain now I felt like a monster. I know this sounds soft but you can’t help it when it’s your kids luckily explaining their actions and why it was wrong always worked the ex did desert to smacking them and I hated it"

It was, by Blairs government

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"I can’t understand why anyone would need to smash a child?! Never seen a positive reaction to it and don’t think I ever will. Kids are surprisingly easy if you take the time to get to know them as individuals and what makes them tick

"
smashing a child sounds brutal

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

"Whilst I don't agree with smacking we have reached a tipping point in society where the children now have the upper hand.

Don't believe me go into any secondary school, primary, children's home etc...

Not to mention the financial costs involved.

Obviously I AM NOT suggesting violence as a treatment but there must be some sort of deterrent to prevent further anti social behaviour?

How that comes about I have no idea,but the simple fact that at an early age the threat of a smack maybe enough to deter bad behaviour I have no idea.

I'm not a child psychologist but it seems some drastic changes are required to quell the out of control children who are going to grow up to become out of control adults.

The biggest problem seems to be that a whole generation grown up and growing up don't understand the word NO.

There has to be consequences for bad behaviour but we seem to have become lazy and afraid to dish out harsh discipline.

(Not physical violence for those who decided to misinterpret my comments."
this I totally agree with.. parents , teachers anyone that deals with children will know that the balance has been tipped way to far in the wring way. What the answer is I don't know... but I do know that kids these days don't have the respect they once had.

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By *mashingPumpkinMan
over a year ago

Carmarthen

"A grown adult who feels justified to hit a child is a cunt. I won’t ever be convinced otherwise. "
I used to get caned at school regularly for minor misdemeanours, like talking. The deputy headmaster enjoyed it, he was a cunt! Maybe I should have called him one so there was some reasoning behind the caning.

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By *eard and TattsCouple
over a year ago

Cwmbran

I got whacked on a couple of occasions and knew never to fuck with my parents again

I don't personally hit my kids but if my 16 year old stepped out of line id evict him and shit on his xbox

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By *he love catsCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

We already have a ban in Wales, but I think that the parents who smack their children need educating on ways to deal with children that are misbehaving, I believe that these parents will just continue to punish their children the same way that they were punished, they don't know any different so the cycle will keep on being passed on unless they are educated now.

For example if someone smacks a child, don't take the child straight into the already struggling child care system, send the parents on a child behaviour course and monitor them instead. There are plenty of groups throughout Wales that offer these services for free.

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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago

Brighton

"A grown adult who feels justified to hit a child is a cunt. I won’t ever be convinced otherwise. I used to get caned at school regularly for minor misdemeanours, like talking. The deputy headmaster enjoyed it, he was a cunt! Maybe I should have called him one so there was some reasoning behind the caning. "

Perfect example of why laws and rules get changed to stop what was clearly sadistic abuse.

But it goes too far. In an attempt to stop the extreme you end up also stopping everything else.

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

I’m going to give my perspective here and tell you my experience with complete honesty.

As a child growing up in the 70’s and 80’s I was smacked, it’s just how parenting was. I didn’t believe it had affected me long term.

When I became a father myself (pre ban here in Wales), I naturally parented in a similar way to my parents, with the occasional bad behaviour earning my child a light smack…

… until one day I finally recognised the fear in my child’s eyes as I was about to punish them. It was the same fear that I had at a similar age when my dad was about to smack me, and I realised I hadn’t been scared, I’d been TERRIFIED.

Terrified that this time it may be more than a light smack, terrified that he may lose control.

All those years I’d thought it hadn’t bothered me and, to use a popular phrase, “I’d turned out alright “… but I hadn’t, I’d suppressed my fear and trauma.

20 odd years later and I finally realised I wasn’t punishing my child, I was traumatising them.

I never raised my hand to a child again.

Physical violence is not needed or warranted in childcare. Science backs up my experience and shows that all it is assault

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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago

Brighton

I find the single biggest deterrent is to take away their phone and access to social media (and friends).

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By *he love catsCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

"I find the single biggest deterrent is to take away their phone and access to social media (and friends). "

This may work for a limited amount of time and if this works for you then that's fine.

Others though beware before you use this punishment if your child's behaviour is linked to an underlying mental health issue, you could be taking away their crutch and their friendships when they need them most, this will only make matters worse in the long term.

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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago

Brighton

"I find the single biggest deterrent is to take away their phone and access to social media (and friends).

This may work for a limited amount of time and if this works for you then that's fine.

Interesting. So what would be considered good alternative “punishments” or sanctions for bad behaviour?

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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago

Brighton

"I find the single biggest deterrent is to take away their phone and access to social media (and friends).

This may work for a limited amount of time and if this works for you then that's fine.

Interesting. So what would be considered good alternative “punishments” or sanctions for bad behaviour?"

And just to add... IMHO social media is one of the root causes of bad behaviour. Rife with bullying too. And responsible for body dismorphiar (sp?) with sometimes serious consequences. So while taking away access as a punishment works, it is also a good break from it at times!

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

"I find the single biggest deterrent is to take away their phone and access to social media (and friends).

This may work for a limited amount of time and if this works for you then that's fine.

Interesting. So what would be considered good alternative “punishments” or sanctions for bad behaviour?"

Often all it takes is actually explaining WHY the behaviour is bad, and having them do something to mitigate or reverse the behaviour. It also helps a lot if GOOD behaviour is praised and rewarded

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By *eliusMan
over a year ago

Henlow

Let’s see…

Teachers being accosted and physically and verbally in schools

Kids picking things up in stores and throwing them on the floor

Kids and teenagers swearing and pushing OAPs about, arguing with bus drivers etc

Kids, some under 10, carrying knives without any regard to the harm, danger and life changing consequences

Kids aren’t naughty anymore.. they make the wrong choice.

Never used to be like this - what’s changed? And no,I don’t believe in ‘beating’ children.

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

I got whacked on a couple of occasions and knew never to fuck with my parents again

I don't personally hit my kids but if my 16 year old stepped out of line id evict him and shit on his xbox

And this is why I’m not a parent. I would TOTALLY do the same and/or sell all their decent Fifa Ultimate players & tank their COD k/d ratio.

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By *he love catsCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

"I find the single biggest deterrent is to take away their phone and access to social media (and friends).

This may work for a limited amount of time and if this works for you then that's fine.

Interesting. So what would be considered good alternative “punishments” or sanctions for bad behaviour?"

It would depend on the ages and the state of the mental health of the child, I can't give advice on these matters I'm afraid as every child is different, parenting is different etc, I can only go off past experiences and I have seen these punishments sometimes leading to SH mostly in teens. Sorry I can't help you more.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I was a really good, academic child. However, if my mother believed I'd transgressed in some way, she would whack me on the bum or back of the legs. It would leave hand/fingerprints for days. I remember trying to run away to avoid being smacked but she caught hold of me and smacked me harder. Aside that, she used me as a marriage guidance counsellor from about the age of 6 and expected me to be some kind of unpaid skivvy, including standing to do a massive pile of ironing on the day I was in early labour (I was 16). I was making dinner for everyone by the time I was 12, plus listening to my brother read, washing up, making packed lunches x2 for the next day, walking the dogs and hoovering etc. Whenever someone wanted a cup of tea of an evening (Mum or her third husband), it was me who made it. And was criticised if it was stewed. On top of all of the above, I had my homework and activities I wanted to do.

I can't convey in writing here how much I hate my mother. It's not just her taking out her anger on me (she didn't smack my brother), but a vast array of shite she's done in the past 10-15 years in particular. As I type this, my face is actually contorted with disgust for her.

I was 16 when my son was born. I remember smacking him once when he was about 3 and it was because I'd lost my temper. I was mortified and I've never done it again. No-one has ever laid a hand on our daughter and never will either. It's simply not necessary.

I didn't fear my mother and her whacking me. I just fucking hated it and knew I didn't deserve it and it was her unable to control her temper.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I’ve resorted to grounding for my eldest so far, which was for a late home time issue after he’d been told if he was late home again he’d be grounded, he was and so he was grounded. Hasn’t been late home since. He’s a laidback chilled out dude with a lovely bunch of lads for friends, so I’m hoping he won’t turn into a Kevin & Perry type teen as he gets older.

My youngest has autism so you need to be more wordy than actionable with him, I tend to explain what he did wrong, why that wasn’t the best course of action, explain how he could have dealt with things differently, ask him if he can see why it’s wrong etc. and then answer any questions he has and listen to his point of view on it all.

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By *he love catsCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

"Let’s see…

Teachers being accosted and physically and verbally in schools

Kids picking things up in stores and throwing them on the floor

Kids and teenagers swearing and pushing OAPs about, arguing with bus drivers etc

Kids, some under 10, carrying knives without any regard to the harm, danger and life changing consequences

Kids aren’t naughty anymore.. they make the wrong choice.

Never used to be like this - what’s changed? And no,I don’t believe in ‘beating’ children."

This still turns back to early parenting skills and their upbringing, when children have reached this age it's a lot harder to change their behaviours. Children aren't born this way FACT.

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

"Let’s see…

Teachers being accosted and physically and verbally in schools

Kids picking things up in stores and throwing them on the floor

Kids and teenagers swearing and pushing OAPs about, arguing with bus drivers etc

Kids, some under 10, carrying knives without any regard to the harm, danger and life changing consequences

Kids aren’t naughty anymore.. they make the wrong choice.

Never used to be like this - what’s changed? And no,I don’t believe in ‘beating’ children.

This still turns back to early parenting skills and their upbringing, when children have reached this age it's a lot harder to change their behaviours. Children aren't born this way FACT.

And often, these troublesome children are the one’s being physically punished

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Seeing the way some parents talk to/deal with their children whilst waiting at school or at kids birthday parties etc, I'm not surprised that the children misbehave and shout/are rude.

In many ways, you reap what you sow.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

My mum used to smack me sometimes. Not hard and not very often never affected me. What did affect me was my dad who never actually hit us but would come right up to your face screaming and shouting, hissing and snarling till spit came out of his mouth. I would of preferred a good hiding

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By *he love catsCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

Physical punishment is atrocious but don't forget mental punishment is just as damaging to young minds.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I also constantly got the slipper at secondary school. I got it so often it was like water of a ducks back

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By *sianflower77Woman
over a year ago

Emerald City

Back in the day when there was no nanny state we kids growing up got a good crack if we stepped out of line. It instilled discipline and no one was psychologically scarred or damaged. I add I’m talking about being smacked not beaten so don’t any of you get it twisted.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Would anyone of us expect to get a smack if we didn't hit a target or messed up in work from your boss? I'm guessing not, so I fail to see why anyone would think it's acceptable to anyone vulnerable such as a child.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would anyone of us expect to get a smack if we didn't hit a target or messed up in work from your boss? I'm guessing not, so I fail to see why anyone would think it's acceptable to anyone vulnerable such as a child. "

I would love to, if my boss was a sexy lady like you lol, yes please hit me harder

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was a really good, academic child. However, if my mother believed I'd transgressed in some way, she would whack me on the bum or back of the legs. It would leave hand/fingerprints for days. I remember trying to run away to avoid being smacked but she caught hold of me and smacked me harder. Aside that, she used me as a marriage guidance counsellor from about the age of 6 and expected me to be some kind of unpaid skivvy, including standing to do a massive pile of ironing on the day I was in early labour (I was 16). I was making dinner for everyone by the time I was 12, plus listening to my brother read, washing up, making packed lunches x2 for the next day, walking the dogs and hoovering etc. Whenever someone wanted a cup of tea of an evening (Mum or her third husband), it was me who made it. And was criticised if it was stewed. On top of all of the above, I had my homework and activities I wanted to do.

I didn't fear my mother and her whacking me. I just fucking hated it and knew I didn't deserve it and it was her unable to control her temper. "

I could have written this post, word for word. It seems to me that most people aren't smacking children to stop unwanted behaviour, but to vent their frustration, exasperation, overwhelm, anger.....whatever emotion they're currently consumed by.

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By *he love catsCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

If a child lives with criticism,

they learn to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility,

they learn to fight.

If a child lives with fear,

they learn to be apprehensive.

If a child lives with pity,

they learn to feel sorry for themselves.

If a child lives with ridicule,

they learn to be shy.

If a child lives with jealousy,

they learn what envy is.

If a child lives with shame,

they learn to feel guilty.

If a child lives with encouragement,

they learn to be confident.

If a child lives with tolerance,

they learn to be patient.

If a child lives with praise,

they learn to be appreciative.

If a child lives with acceptance,

they learn to love.

If a child lives with approval,

they learn to like themselves.

If a child lives with recognition,

they learn that it is good to have a goal.

If a child lives with sharing,

they learn about generosity.

If a child lives with honesty and fairness,

they learn what truth and justice are.

If a child lives with security,

they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.

If a child lives with friendliness,

they learn that the world is a nice place in which to live.

If you live with serenity,

your child will live with peace of mind.

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

I'm of a generation where smacking was acceptable and was a discipline that worked, we had respect for our elders unlike todays young obviously some people abused it but in the main it was a good form of discipline they knew when they had done wrong, I'm sorry but todays discipline just doesn't work, no respect, no guidelines, witholding something they can live without doesn't work. I had 2 daughters and i never hit them my choice and they've grown up to be lovely adults

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Strange debate on a swingers site forum

Welcome to fab.

I think some people get two types of hitting a child mixed up.

Gbh and smacking a child because they reached for the fireplace are 2 completely different things.

I once hit my eldest on his arm and told him to spl too being a dick over something( the same way I do to pals joking around in a pub) his face was a picture,

as I’ve never lifted my hand to any of my kids and never will. But, I do understand why and how some parent think a small slap on the back of the legs with a toddler might get the message of danger or something into the kid quickly.

I’m against physical abuse, I’m not against caring for your child’s safety.

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

The means have to be consistent with the ends you hope to achieve.

Do you want children to believe that violence is a solution?

Not for me that one.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I was beaten as a child for “ wrong behaviour “ never did me any good, just made me rebel more.

The mr

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Strange debate on a swingers site forum

"
You just want to talk about sex don't you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be very wary of any attempts by the government to enact actual legislation that will be one of the most intrusive into people's private lives and liberty. A law that actually tries to police how people raise their kids, and prove to be the ultimate antithesis to the notion that adult parents should be the most responsible for the upbringing of their children, not the state.

Not that I agree with physical punishment for kids. But it's the legal precedent such a law sets up that would worry me and make me want to oppose it. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

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By *he love catsCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

"Strange debate on a swingers site forum

Welcome to fab.

I think some people get two types of hitting a child mixed up.

Gbh and smacking a child because they reached for the fireplace are 2 completely different things.

I once hit my eldest on his arm and told him to spl too being a dick over something( the same way I do to pals joking around in a pub) his face was a picture,

I’m against physical abuse, I’m not against caring for your child’s safety. "

I find neither acceptable I'm afraid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was very much beaten to fear as a child for next to no reason other than he felt like it. My first memory as a child is being kicked in the chest at the age of 4.

I am going to buck the trend here and say that there is a spectacularly huge difference between child abuse and metered and appropriate discipline.

There is a whole generation or two of kids that have now grown up with almost no discipline at all and a sense of entitlement that boggles the mind. Now I am not saying it's down to the lack of corporal punishment, but it most definitely is down to a general reluctance to perform any kind of discipline at all.

I can't actually remember ever slapping either of my kids but the threat of it has definitely managed many very extreme bouts of apoplectic behaviour especially from my daughter.

FWIW I firmly believe that modern parenting is ridiculously hard and that there should be parenting workshops available to all to raise the general capabilities of the emerging population.

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

There’s one or two children in every town up and the country where a smack would definitely put them straight and they’d become accustomed to the error in their ways.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

My daughter in law made the mistake of slapping our six year old grandson around the side of his face in front of us, so hard he lost his footing.

I said nothing and waited until she went into her kitchen, followed her and explained carefully why it wouldn't be wise to do in front of us ever again.

I think she got the message.

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By *eard and TattsCouple
over a year ago

Cwmbran

I got whacked on a couple of occasions and knew never to fuck with my parents again

I don't personally hit my kids but if my 16 year old stepped out of line id evict him and shit on his xbox

And this is why I’m not a parent. I would TOTALLY do the same and/or sell all their decent Fifa Ultimate players & tank their COD k/d ratio.

I remember he used his dad's credit card details to buy gta points so we took his xbox off him for a year, only bought him essentials for Christmas and a 3 month ban on phones laptops etc

My mum said we was cruel to which I replied...

"maybe I should of beat him up like you did when I got my shoes wet"

She promptly denied ever hitting me. I admit, that really stung because my mother lied to my face

The same face she whacked when I got lairy to her when I was 12

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By *heGateKeeperMan
over a year ago

Stratford

I grew up in a Caribbean household and the culture is very much ‘if you don’t hear you must feel’.

I promised never to subject my children to what I subjected to but I see in my relatives and how they parent that lots of this is generational

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Absolutely no reason to hit children! All that teaches is its OK to hit others! As adults we don't or shouldn't go round smacking each other when we consider their behaviour wrong! As for those that say they got smacked as a child and never did them any harm my ex said this and I used to say yeah right! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I grew up in a Caribbean household and the culture is very much ‘if you don’t hear you must feel’.

I promised never to subject my children to what I subjected to but I see in my relatives and how they parent that lots of this is generational "

I’m a good listener

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

"Never hit any of my Children and they’re doing fine. I was regularly hit as a child, must’ve deserved it in some way surely ?

Not for me or my Children, it’s wrong and you’ll never ever convince me otherwise.

It was widely accepted back in the day wasn’t it. Like you say, usually for the most silly things

Back in the day children got given lashes of the belt by school teachers too.

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"Absolutely no reason to hit children! All that teaches is its OK to hit others! As adults we don't or shouldn't go round smacking each other when we consider their behaviour wrong! As for those that say they got smacked as a child and never did them any harm my ex said this and I used to say yeah right! X"

Certainly done me no harm and I don’t go around whacking anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah I got smacked when I was young with a slipper or a belt for being bad. I can also remember a certain teacher who throw a wooden duster at your head and chalk as well if you miss behaved.

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By *eard and TattsCouple
over a year ago

Cwmbran

Certainly done me no harm and I don’t go around whacking anyone."

I saw my teacher whack a pupils hands with a ruler. I never got gobby to my teacher again

Physical punishment works and while I wouldnt hit my own, I wouldn't turn my nose up seeing a horrible little shit child getting a slap

Also my daughter is an angel and she'll never do anything wrong in my eyes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I honestly thought this was outlawed long ago. No justification in hitting a child ever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My daughter in law made the mistake of slapping our six year old grandson around the side of his face in front of us, so hard he lost his footing.

I said nothing and waited until she went into her kitchen, followed her and explained carefully why it wouldn't be wise to do in front of us ever again.

I think she got the message."

Wow. Why do people think that's ok. If you did that to an adult you could be arrested. If you did it to a partner it would be domestic abuse. Crazy and I'm glad you challenged her.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"I'd be very wary of any attempts by the government to enact actual legislation that will be one of the most intrusive into people's private lives and liberty. A law that actually tries to police how people raise their kids, and prove to be the ultimate antithesis to the notion that adult parents should be the most responsible for the upbringing of their children, not the state.

Not that I agree with physical punishment for kids. But it's the legal precedent such a law sets up that would worry me and make me want to oppose it. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. "

Seems to be working fine in Scotland and Wales, which have both outlawed physical chastisement.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I honestly thought this was outlawed long ago. No justification in hitting a child ever. "

Yes I agree, however parents shouldn't let their children run a mock,there should be at least the threat of a smacking

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

What used to work best with my son was when I told him I was disappointed in him

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"I honestly thought this was outlawed long ago. No justification in hitting a child ever.

Yes I agree, however parents shouldn't let their children run a mock,there should be at least the threat of a smacking"

What does that achieve? It just achieved a child understanding that violence solves problems. Which it evidently doesn't, because try smacking a badly behaved colleague at work and see where it gets you.

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By *eard and TattsCouple
over a year ago

Cwmbran

"What used to work best with my son was when I told him I was disappointed in him"

Or them ignoring me. Ouch

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"What used to work best with my son was when I told him I was disappointed in him

Or them ignoring me. Ouch"
My son used to know when he had pushed me tooar when I went quiet

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By *eard and TattsCouple
over a year ago

Cwmbran

My mother did that to me one Christmas because I didn't phone her first thing. Clearly it hurt her so her response was to hurt me. I would of preferred a beating in that moment as it was harsh and effectively spoilt my Christmas

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

Certainly done me no harm and I don’t go around whacking anyone.

I saw my teacher whack a pupils hands with a ruler. I never got gobby to my teacher again

Physical punishment works and while I wouldnt hit my own, I wouldn't turn my nose up seeing a horrible little shit child getting a slap

Also my daughter is an angel and she'll never do anything wrong in my eyes

I got whacked with a metal ruler/ thin pole across the hands by a teacher once, I threw him face first through the glass cabinet as a kind response . He never taught again at school and I got given anger management sessions

My mates thought I was legendary after .. my dad wanted to destroy the guy for touching me which was the bigger issue .

Don’t think teachers would dare touch a pupil now especially in inner-city schools or some northern areas lol

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By *eard and TattsCouple
over a year ago

Cwmbran

Certainly done me no harm and I don’t go around whacking anyone.

I saw my teacher whack a pupils hands with a ruler. I never got gobby to my teacher again

Physical punishment works and while I wouldnt hit my own, I wouldn't turn my nose up seeing a horrible little shit child getting a slap

Also my daughter is an angel and she'll never do anything wrong in my eyes

My mates thought I was legendary after .. my dad wanted to destroy the guy for touching me which was the bigger issue .

Don’t think teachers would dare touch a pupil now especially in inner-city schools or some northern areas lol "

How old was you?

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

Certainly done me no harm and I don’t go around whacking anyone.

I saw my teacher whack a pupils hands with a ruler. I never got gobby to my teacher again

Physical punishment works and while I wouldnt hit my own, I wouldn't turn my nose up seeing a horrible little shit child getting a slap

Also my daughter is an angel and she'll never do anything wrong in my eyes

My mates thought I was legendary after .. my dad wanted to destroy the guy for touching me which was the bigger issue .

Don’t think teachers would dare touch a pupil now especially in inner-city schools or some northern areas lol

How old was you? "

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Certainly done me no harm and I don’t go around whacking anyone.

I saw my teacher whack a pupils hands with a ruler. I never got gobby to my teacher again

Physical punishment works and while I wouldnt hit my own, I wouldn't turn my nose up seeing a horrible little shit child getting a slap

Also my daughter is an angel and she'll never do anything wrong in my eyes

My mates thought I was legendary after .. my dad wanted to destroy the guy for touching me which was the bigger issue .

Don’t think teachers would dare touch a pupil now especially in inner-city schools or some northern areas lol "

The only time educators are "permitted" to touch or restrain a child is if they pose a risk to themselves or others and even then, they run the serious risk of being accused of malpractice. Teachers do not physically touch students at all (bar the aforementioned caveat). It's irrelevant where the school is.

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By *heGateKeeperMan
over a year ago

Stratford

"I grew up in a Caribbean household and the culture is very much ‘if you don’t hear you must feel’.

I promised never to subject my children to what I subjected to but I see in my relatives and how they parent that lots of this is generational

I’m a good listener

I’m stubborn and it took me a while to learn

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"What about other peoples’ children?

Surely no one minds smacking them?

What are children for otherwise? "

Good point Waggoner. Surely they were made for a reason ? Got to be something good to come out of having children.

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

No reason to hit children! Are you crazy? Course there is.

I can think of hundreds, but I’m not saying that you should.

Ps, this needs to be said in a Bill Burr voice for people to get the joke!

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"No reason to hit children! Are you crazy? Course there is.

I can think of hundreds, but I’m not saying that you should.

Ps, this needs to be said in a Bill Burr voice for people to get the joke!"

I’m chuckling away

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"There are more ways creating low self esteem or anti social behaviour including aggression in a child than smacking.

It's not enough to say you don't smack your child. There is so much examination and reflection you should undertake of how your behaviour and lifestyle choices affect your children in very many ways.

There is no guarantee that a psychologically happy and healthy child is going to be reared by replacing a quick smack with an hours emotional agony."

One thing that is reassuring is that people are finally going for therapy in larger numbers to deal with all kinds of issues rather than just passing problems to their kids.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

I'm all for a ban, my dad used to kick the crap out of me if I was naughty

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

I'm not reading through but thank you to those who took me up on my offer for resources and advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What about other peoples’ children?

Surely no one minds smacking them?

What are children for otherwise?

Good point Waggoner. Surely they were made for a reason ? Got to be something good to come out of having children.

Er so you can steal their lego?

Duh

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

"What about other peoples’ children?

Surely no one minds smacking them?

What are children for otherwise?

Good point Waggoner. Surely they were made for a reason ? Got to be something good to come out of having children.

Er so you can steal their lego?

Duh"

And play with all their cool toys that we never had..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What about other peoples’ children?

Surely no one minds smacking them?

What are children for otherwise?

Good point Waggoner. Surely they were made for a reason ? Got to be something good to come out of having children.

Er so you can steal their lego?

Duh

And play with all their cool toys that we never had.."

Zackly

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

Certainly done me no harm and I don’t go around whacking anyone.

I saw my teacher whack a pupils hands with a ruler. I never got gobby to my teacher again

Physical punishment works and while I wouldnt hit my own, I wouldn't turn my nose up seeing a horrible little shit child getting a slap

Also my daughter is an angel and she'll never do anything wrong in my eyes

My mates thought I was legendary after .. my dad wanted to destroy the guy for touching me which was the bigger issue .

Don’t think teachers would dare touch a pupil now especially in inner-city schools or some northern areas lol "

Why would inner-city and northern areas be different?

Ajd why on earth the "lol"?

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By *eiaorganaWoman
over a year ago

Dundee

There's a big difference between child abuse and a smack. If a child is about to do something that could injure themselves or someone else, I don't see that a quick smack is a problem.

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

I am a step Parent and inherited children who were used to being smacked by an over zealous (twat) of an ex husband. To find that they wouldn’t be smacked but something they valued or Needed would be denied was much more effective. …. I need a lift to xyz… oh well maybe if you had tidied your room when your mum asked you the taxi fairy would be able to help… sadly he’s not available at the moment … cue stamping up the stairs and a whirlwind of tidying… oh look the taxi fairy got home early… lucky you!!

Next time - room sorted… lift provided … no drama. Don’t suppose it will work for everyone but the life lesson of you don’t get something for Nothing was learned.

As they are now grown up they say to me - we knew we would never win an argument with you… in the end we gave up and just did what you wanted and got what we wanted

I was lucky that their Mum stood by me even when i was wrong - which i was on occasion but no one ever wrote an instruction manual

Im immensely proud of how they all turned out.

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

"I'm all for a ban, my dad used to kick the crap out of me if I was naughty "

So did mine. And this is why it should be illegal. Because what's acceptable can only ever be completely subjective and banning it means there is no doubt that a crime has been committed.

And those parents who claim that they know the line and its okay, well if they're the good parents they claim to be I'm confident they can install discipline in other ways other than violence or the threat of violence. And those parents who still hit their kids can be prosecuted and investigated for their abuse.

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By *ond Jimmy BondMan
over a year ago

London

My parents smacked me, I’m not scared by it but I have never smacked my kids…ever

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By *arko2020Man
over a year ago

Sale

I guess it's always going to be a sensitive and quite subjective issue...those who had bad experiences themselves as a child are more likely to want it banned, those who didn't...possibly less so.

For me it comes down to the difference between a slap on the legs, for example, administered for good reason to prevent a child from coming to harm (i.e. to stop them from doing something that could have serious consequences), and a grown adult losing control and lashing out in anger...that is utterly unacceptable. I think many problems arise from parents who are unable to make that differentiation.

I had the occasional smack as a kid, but it was only when I'd seriously overstepped the mark. It was never my parents losing control and beating me...and it certainly taught me to respect boundaries and other people - both of which seem to be sadly lacking in a growing element of society.

I'm sure there are fewer parents who smack their children these days compared to when I was young, but the interesting thing is that it seems that as smacking has diminished, so the propensity for violence amongst younger people seems to have grown. A violent response is almost a first resort amongst many young people these days...lash out first, ask questions later.

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

I keep reading that smacking a kid is okay if they are about to come in to harm.

Genuine question what scenario would mean that the only way stopping them coming to harm would be to hit them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just for info (without expressing an opinion)

The law as it stands in England provides 'lawful chastisement as a defence for an allegation of Common Assault/Battery (essentially applying force to someone without consent)

It is not available for allegations of Causing Actual Bodily Harm (lasting marks/bruises and the like) or for allegations of Grievous Bodily Harm (Nastier stuff like wounds, broken bones and upwards)

Not a comment on the rights or wrongs, but just putting it out for info.

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By *arko2020Man
over a year ago

Sale

"I keep reading that smacking a kid is okay if they are about to come in to harm.

Genuine question what scenario would mean that the only way stopping them coming to harm would be to hit them?

For me it was because I was a bit of a div as a kid (ok...still am if truth be told!

) and had a propensity to do what I'd been told not to do. I'd been told multiple times not to play in the road...but I kept doing it. I can clearly remember one occasion where I was running to get a football and my mum happened to be stood on the pavement talking to a neighbour as I went charging past...what I hadn't seen was that there was a car coming down the road (there was a parked car between me and it). She grabbed my arm at the last second and hauled me back. I got a slap for that and a right dressing down...but it taught me a lesson. I was a lot more careful after that!

That worked for me...other people might have different experiences though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I keep reading that smacking a kid is okay if they are about to come in to harm.

Genuine question what scenario would mean that the only way stopping them coming to harm would be to hit them?

I think it more means if you had to suddenly grab, push, lift or drag a child out of the way of something harmful which in turn could lead to them being injured or bruised from the force of it.

I.e. running in front of a car as an example .

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

"I keep reading that smacking a kid is okay if they are about to come in to harm.

Genuine question what scenario would mean that the only way stopping them coming to harm would be to hit them?

For me it was because I was a bit of a div as a kid (ok...still am if truth be told!

That worked for me...other people might have different experiences though."

So she didn't need to hit you to keep you safe?

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By *arko2020Man
over a year ago

Sale

"So she didn't need to hit you to keep you safe?"

Well for me, she did...cos I'd probably have carried on doing it if she hadn't. It wasn't that she stopped me from coming to harm at that very instant, but it very probably stopped me from coming to harm in the future.

So for me, it worked and I'm eternally grateful to her.

Like I say, other people's experiences may be different

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By *adbod2godbodMan
over a year ago

Manchester

If you hand out smacks like bags of crisps at a picnic, they aren't an effective deterrent. The kid would get used to it, and more than likely dole out similar to other kids or their kids in the future.

It's the threat of a smack that works.

But it's only as a last resort.

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By *rder66Man
over a year ago

Tatooine

Why do you need to government to tell you smacking a child is wrong?

If people need the goverment to tell them what is right and wrong, they shouldn't be having kids in the first place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good old 1,2 and 3 worked for my kids.

Can't remember getting to 3 on many occasions as they'd ran at 2

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I honestly thought this was outlawed long ago. No justification in hitting a child ever.

Yes I agree, however parents shouldn't let their children run a mock,there should be at least the threat of a smacking"

Can kids not be made to be accountable without a smack? What's the point in an empty threat? Kids will eventually find out its not going to happen and then you've lost some credibility. Ultimately (in my opinion) its about boundaries and acceptable behaviour, grounding/ turning off wifi, taking away technology/ pocket money and above all else- talking. Understanding the behaviour. Knowing your child and what will have an impact. I got smacked and worse, become immune and emotionally distant after a while but when I was grounded, that hurt more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had a hand raised to me as an adult and I distinctly remember how awful it felt. How unsafe I felt. And think how much worse to feel that if I was only a child and someone I loved and trusted hurt me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sometimes think we are living in the dark ages with our outdated policies and legislation. The Childrens act needs amending for clarity

Can't believe how far England are behind Wales and Scotland with this

There is absolutely no need to raise a hand to a child, my kids were raised without physical punishment as was I. My Dad told me that my Grandad could be violent and he vowed never to use physical punishment on us.

I had trouble with writing at Primary School (was diagnosed dyslexic later in life) and the Teacher would make me stand at the front of the class while he ridiculed me in front of the others, I can remember him punching my arm so hard he left bruises

My Dad saw and went ballistic, I didn't go to the School that week, not sure what happened but the teacher was made to apologise and he never laid a finger on me again

When I asked what happened Dad just said 'he got the message never to touch you again, I don't touch you and that means nobody else has the right.

He was a good egg my Dad

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By * F 2018Couple
over a year ago

shropshire

No need to smack children ,we never did and neither was I by my parents and they have grown up well with manners and respect.

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