FabSwingers.com forum: Men's mental helth

By (user no longer on site) OP
13 weeks ago

Is a man's mental health important or should he just man up and get on with it?

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By *uckMe12FreeMan
13 weeks ago

(User no longer on site)

It's important to maintain a healthy mental attitude. If this is about you OP, personally, don't suffer in silence. Hope all is ok.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
13 weeks ago

Thanks no not about me don't get me wrong I have done in past.

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By *issP69Woman
13 weeks ago

Neath

Mental health should absolutely be taken seriously regardless of gender.

Suicide is the highest cause of death for men under 50 in the UK.

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By *exymarvelMan
13 weeks ago

cardiff

"Is a man's mental health important or should he just man up and get on with it?"

Healthy balance, if ur suffering talk to a mate, someone who cares but isnt emotionally involved with u

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

Huge advocate for mens mental health here - the stats in make suicide are depressing

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By *3xymamaWoman
13 weeks ago

...., Wales

"Mental health should absolutely be taken seriously regardless of gender.

Suicide is the highest cause of death for men under 50 in the UK.

Very true MissP... my brother committed suicide at the age 32

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By *moochumInTheJacuzziCouple
13 weeks ago

South Wales

Everyone's mental health should be taken seriously, no one should have to "man up"

I would hate to know that the men in my life were struggling and didn't have anyone to turn to, so I'm always offering my support to those around me

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By *he milf next doorWoman
13 weeks ago

bluebell woods

"Is a man's mental health important or should he just man up and get on with it?"
men should talk don’t bottle anything up

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

"Everyone's mental health should be taken seriously, no one should have to "man up"

I would hate to know that the men in my life were struggling and didn't have anyone to turn to, so I'm always offering my support to those around me "

This

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By *lessing2016Woman
13 weeks ago

Cardiff

"Mental health should absolutely be taken seriously regardless of gender.

Suicide is the highest cause of death for men under 50 in the UK.

10000% this.

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By *issing_swanMan
13 weeks ago

swansea

The thing is with this is that docs don’t take it seriously and takes ages to see a professional person to get to the bottom of what’s going on

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By *lessing2016Woman
13 weeks ago

Cardiff

"The thing is with this is that docs don’t take it seriously and takes ages to see a professional person to get to the bottom of what’s going on "

I'm really sorry if you've had this experience. My hubs has gone to the doc recently about his MH and they could have not been more helpful.

Can I suggest giving it another go?

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By *edOtterMan
13 weeks ago

cardiff

Mental health isn't restricted to gender, age group, religion, or any other characteristic. I have worked with some charities in the past promoting awareness and supporting others. There are some good resources out there and always have time for a chat. It can be daunting to reach out but the biggest step is admitting it you need someone to talk with and its important the realise you're not alone. Im always down for chat 😊

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By *hunkeeMonkeyMan
13 weeks ago

Clydach

Having been through stress and depression, which cost me a relationship and having very dark, negative thoughts from trying to "man up", I would actively encourage you to seek help.

Speak to your GP, they can usually arrange therapy and provide medication if required.

Hope you get sorted, its a truly horribile place to be.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
13 weeks ago

Not only have I been through it and do some times struggle. I have also been talking to someone that is struggling him self without mentioning my issues or struggles with him. How would you help someone without bringing your problems into the conversation as don't want to make it about me.

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By *lessing2016Woman
13 weeks ago

Cardiff

"Having been through stress and depression, which cost me a relationship and having very dark, negative thoughts from trying to "man up", I would actively encourage you to seek help.

Speak to your GP, they can usually arrange therapy and provide medication if required.

Hope you get sorted, its a truly horribile place to be."

Well done for speaking up and seeking help. My hubs spent too long with his head buried in the sand, thinking he could fix things himself. I'm was immensely proud when he finally got some help and advocated for himself

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By *lessing2016Woman
13 weeks ago

Cardiff

"Not only have I been through it and do some times struggle. I have also been talking to someone that is struggling him self without mentioning my issues or struggles with him. How would you help someone without bringing your problems into the conversation as don't want to make it about me."

I think being able to relate to that person is helpful, but yes, there can be a fine line between supporting and coming across as preachy. You should remind your friend that anything you say comes from a place of support and is in no way a criticism.

I suspect the best thing you can do is listen. It may not need to be a back and forth conversation, your friend may just want to feel heard.

You can still say things like "I understand" and " I'm really sorry you're struggling" and offer them a ear and shoulder.

You're kind for wanting to help them

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By *issP69Woman
13 weeks ago

Neath

"Mental health should absolutely be taken seriously regardless of gender.

Suicide is the highest cause of death for men under 50 in the UK.

Very true MissP... my brother committed suicide at the age 32"

Sending love Sian

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By *icked-GameCouple
13 weeks ago

Antarctica

"Is a man's mental health important or should he just man up and get on with it?"

It's just as important as everyone else's is, I've been in some really dark places for a long time on and off

Piscean

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By *espectful guy 91Man
13 weeks ago

Merthyr Tydfil

"Is a man's mental health important or should he just man up and get on with it?"

It is very important to talk about your mental health. Take it from someone who has hard the most hardest 12 months of his life and it has pushed me to closest of edges and I have had to start again. So to anyone who says man up needs a good fist to the face as mental health affect anyone and everyone.

Sorry for rambling but its something that I've had to fight with for the last 12 months and still fighting now with no friends or family to help me. I'm a shy guy as it is but this needed saying

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By *irthymanMan
12 weeks ago

aberdare

I had a bad time for 2 years really struggled , in a dark place , I went down make appointment with dr , really opened up to my doctor she gave me medication spoke to me every Friday luckily I’m out of the place now (PLEASE don’t bottle it in ) ITS GOOD TO TALK

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By *ockycolinMan
12 weeks ago

bristol

I suffer mental health since aged 17 and I’m nearly 49 now and still suffer with it

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By *rick or treatCouple
12 weeks ago

land of the rising sun

My personal experience - I found it much easier to talk to people in forums with mutual interests. People there helped me realise my struggles and how best to address them. I've been in some shit places mentally, I never thought I would see my 25th birthday but here I am.

Everyone is different so there isn't a single solution. It's good that it's spoken about more. People need to be more conscious of their actions and not be ducks, you never know what the other person is going through

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By *ongo95Man
12 weeks ago

Swansea

"My personal experience - I found it much easier to talk to people in forums with mutual interests. People there helped me realise my struggles and how best to address them. I've been in some shit places mentally, I never thought I would see my 25th birthday but here I am.

I second this completely, its so important to acknowlege whats going on and speak about it rather than bottle everything up. You never know what someones going through even if they seem super happy or confident they could be using that to mask whats really happening. I've done this myself and had a breakdown around this time last year and if it wasnt for someone beimg there to just listen and talk I know I wouldnt be here now.

Dont bottle it and speak about it!

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By *T113Man
12 weeks ago

visiting

Struggle every day , but took the plunge around 2 years ago and decided to speak to a counsellor.

She gave the tools to recognise bad days and I learnt to deal with them with various methods including , writing my feelings down , mindfulness activities, exercise and ( for me ) cold water therapy……… but most importantly tell trusted people in my life that I’m feeling low .

As Bob Hoskins used to say “ it’s good to talk “ ❤️

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By *issP69Woman
12 weeks ago

Neath

"Struggle every day , but took the plunge around 2 years ago and decided to speak to a counsellor.

As Bob Hoskins used to say “ it’s good to talk “ ❤️"

Absolutely love this

I don't class myself as "suffering from"depression and anxiety rather I prefer to say I "live with" it. I spent years absolutely hell bent on "beating" it. Now I accept it's something I will always love with but having the tools to do so much things a little easier. Working a in a very demanding job, training in the gym every day, hot/cold therapy, counselling, yoga and medication all help me manage it

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By *elsh_cake69Man
12 weeks ago

Aberdare

"Struggle every day , but took the plunge around 2 years ago and decided to speak to a counsellor.

As Bob Hoskins used to say “ it’s good to talk “ ❤️

Absolutely love this

Im same just work alot to keep my mind busy

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By *T113Man
12 weeks ago

visiting

"Struggle every day , but took the plunge around 2 years ago and decided to speak to a counsellor.

As Bob Hoskins used to say “ it’s good to talk “ ❤️

Absolutely love this

Big love ❤️

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By *astkissMan
12 weeks ago

Newport

Not so long ago I opened up to a fab friend his method of changing my mood was not to my liking. I wasn't thinking about what I was thinking about. When you put me in an environment that I wasn't comfortable. Completely changed how that night could ended.

And when I had time to sit back and think

I really do. Thank him everyday.

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By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

"Is a man's mental health important or should he just man up and get on with it?"

Man up is the worst thing ever to be said. No such thing. Mental health is a right bastard, if only it was as simple as manning up and not feeling like death on the inside. It's well known that suicide amongst men suffering from mental health is high due to the stigma around manning up and being a man. It's taken me years to learn to talk and I still struggle now and recluse. Fortunately there is greater awareness and a lot more support available. Manning up is just nonsense. If you need help and support then reach out.

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By *3achyBWoman
12 weeks ago

Aberpennar

"Mental health should absolutely be taken seriously regardless of gender.

Suicide is the highest cause of death for men under 50 in the UK.

Very much so, it's important for all but there is a need to engage more men in this discussion. I lost a partner to suicide many years ago, no signs, planning a marriage, all going well & no clues X

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By *3achyBWoman
12 weeks ago

Aberpennar

Love & healing thoughts to all those in dark places & their loved ones X

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By *Pspecial69Couple
12 weeks ago

swansea

Ill be honest with you. I always went on the basis of just man up until about 10 years ago when things got so bad that I actually decided I needed to get help before it was too late. I nearly lost everything that is important to me because I wouldn't acknowledge that I had a mental health issue.

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By *o againTV/TS
12 weeks ago

swansea

I have suffered in the past.. and still struggle. I found talking to people helped me. Also and this will sound mad.. but going out on my motorbike helps. As I only think about riding and can de-stress.

Jo xx

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By *veragedad93Man
11 weeks ago

Bridgend

It's OKAY to NOT be OKAY

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By *herri_Bear13Couple
11 weeks ago

Pembrokeshire

Sadly way to many people dont support people who are struggling ☹️complex mental health needs especially sometimes the health care system which has alot of stresses of its own,it can affect anyone and I think we as men need to do better to try and check in on people try and make each other feel better about themselves, gas each other up instead of comparing the world will always be better with you in it no matter what you think or who you are 💙

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By *T113Man
11 weeks ago

visiting

If anyone simply needs to vent or a friendly chat on here my inbox is always open . Happy to put the fab frolics to one side and chat about anything and everything else . Let’s be kind and help where we can ❤️

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By *3xymamaWoman
11 weeks ago

...., Wales

I'm so glad this is being talked about. So many people struggle and don't know what to do for support. It can be easy to put on a "show" and pretend everything is ok. Make out you're the life and soul, full of confidence. Yet behind closed doors, when you're on your own it's a different matter 😢

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By *ehefrinMan
11 weeks ago

Rural Vale

How true - I'm still struggling on occasions after losing my wife of 44yrs. It's when you shut that door and enter an empty house is often the worst part for me - I'm fine when out and meeting folk ( even just casually in the street). but sometimes the silence comes crashing down. I have good friends and neighbours who understand and are genuinely supportive, but they can't be there alll the time.

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By *veragedad93Man
11 weeks ago

Bridgend

All mental health matters regardless of age...sex...colour

Its okay to not be okay

#menatalhealthmatters

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By *jdj9986Man
11 weeks ago

Cardiff

Men's mental health is absolutely 100% important! As previously mentioned, suicide is the leading cause of death in men under 50 in the UK, accounting for almost 3/4 (74-75%) of all suicides. That's a staggering statistic. Whilst women are more likely to have suicidal ideation, they are more likely to seek help than men.

The olden days of "man up" should be well and truly over by now. Men should be able to express emotions (particularly negative ones) in a healthy way, without being told to "man up", especially as that phrase deters men from crying, and so they are more likely to bottle up their emotions and end up expressing it as anger or aggression.

Also, guys need to start learning that it's ok to compliment each other without it meaning something else. Little morale boosts are a significant way to reduce mental health issues. I don't know if you've ever watched women getting ready on a night out, but they shower each other with compliments..."you're hair looks amazing", "that dress looks really good on you", "your makeup is flawless" etc. Men? Men are so scared they'll come across as gay that'll they'll do anything to avoid complimenting each other on the way they look or dress.

Mental health is everyone's problem, and in this day and age it shouldn't be something to shy away from talking about. If you're concerned about mental health, the Samaritans are a fantastic organisation and can be contacted on 116 123. Also look up local men's mental health groups in your area on social media, they're popping up more and more frequently these days. Alternatively, my inbox is always open if ever you need to talk, and that goes for anyone here

Tom

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By *jdj9986Man
11 weeks ago

Cardiff

"How true - I'm still struggling on occasions after losing my wife of 44yrs. It's when you shut that door and enter an empty house is often the worst part for me - I'm fine when out and meeting folk ( even just casually in the street). but sometimes the silence comes crashing down. I have good friends and neighbours who understand and are genuinely supportive, but they can't be there alll the time."

Sorry for your loss, Derek. Bereavement is one of the hardest things we go through as humans. Have you tried Cruse Bereavement Counselling? They're an excellent resource!

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