FabSwingers.com forum: Bias, Racism, and the BBC Double Standard

By *he first Gentleman OP Man
20 weeks ago

Fab

Let's get straight to the point, because this mindset has gone too far and it genuinely hurts people.

You cannot seriously call yourself "not racist" while openly saying you only want BBC (Big Black Cock), yet refuse to speak to, meet, or consider people of any other skin colour. Sexualising one race while excluding all others is not openness, it is racial fetishism mixed with discrimination.

What makes this worse is that many people who think this way completely ignore everything that actually defines a person: personality, education, manners, values, appearance, and character. Some of the people you dismiss are polite, respectful, well dressed, highly educated, and successful, often far above average socially and economically. Pretending not to see this is not preference; it is selective blindness.

Let's also be honest about why BBC is singled out. It is not about connection, personality, or equality, it is about stereotypes. Using those stereotypes while claiming moral superiority or calling yourself "not racist" is hypocrisy.

There is also a deep lack of cultural and religious understanding. Assuming all brown people are Muslim is ignorance. For the record, I am Christian, but more importantly, I believe in humanity above race, religion, or skin colour.

Racism doesn't always come as insults or hatred.

Sometimes it hides behind so-called "preferences," while quietly devaluing everyone else. The damage it causes is still very real.

A fetish does not cancel out racism, it can actually be a form of it.

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By *CBoyTV/TS
20 weeks ago

Rhondda Fawr

Youve posted this in other forums. Why post it here? You're entitled to your opinions even if they are wrong and dont respect that others have a right to chose who they have sex with..but why try to promote it all over the place.

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By *elNRoobsCouple
20 weeks ago

Swansea

There is no “equality” when it comes to people’s sexual preferences. People are attracted to different shapes, sizes, colours. No everyone is entitled to have a crack of someone. Not sure why this is even a post, it just comes across as someone whining because they aren’t getting their own way with someone on this site which is so common.

Respect other people’s choices. You don’t have to agree with them.

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By *itherofustwoMan
20 weeks ago

swansea

You can stick a ‘label’ on anything..... the fact is people like or dislike what or who they want..l and sometimes thy can’t even explain why.

And yes... I will start this sentence with “I am not a racist but” my wife preferred and actively sought out black men to play with, and because it was her ‘preference’ I supported her.... he enjoyed her-she enjoyed him... and I enjoyed watching them both enjoy each other.... honestly it is the scene we have chosen to participate in... and yes we enjoy... so let’s not disect and interrogate... just enjoy.... Merry Christmas and have a Fab time!

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By *andybitches1Couple
20 weeks ago

Aberdeenshire

Gave us our first proper Xmas day laugh,hopefully first of many on this fine day.

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By *sameetsMan
20 weeks ago

London Z2

Extract from an article:

The fetishisation of black masculinity By By Jason Okundaye 13 October 2020:

The over-sexualisation of black masculinity has, historically, led to intense surveillance and intervention over our bodies. Going back to the 19th century, the English Victorian eugenicist Francis Galton would make pseudo-scientific claims that there were “savages”, with “anatomical differences” between black and white men, such as penis and pelvis size. So white men were morally superior to black men because they were more sexually controlled.

Black men in Britain were therefore seen as major threats to public health, with castration even being recommended as a method of preventative treatment to protect the safety and sexual dignity of white citizens.

What does this pseudo-scientific view of black men’s bodies and sexual capacities have to do with anti-black police violence today? Because this need to “control” the sexuality of black men through physical violence has been a long-term solution to what is termed “black peril” – the colonial-era fear white settlers had that black and native men would have sexual relations with white women.

In the colonised British New Guinea, “black peril” led to the “White Women’s Protection Ordinance” of 1926, which introduced the death penalty for the r…p.. or attempted r…p.. of a European female by a native person. This criminalised interracial sex between black men and white women. Interracial sex was viewed as a violation independent of the concept of consent. Naturally, this standard didn’t apply to white male colonisers, who were free to r…p.. black and native women as their right.

In late 20th-century Britain, white feminist movements often complied with racist ideas that black men present a more significant sexual threat to them than white men. As Valerie Amos and Pratibha Parmar claim in Challenging Imperial Feminism, “Reclaim The Night” marches – which demanded that women be able to move through public spaces at night – would predominantly march through black inner-city areas. This “played into the hands of the racist media and the fascist organisations” such as the National Front, “some of whom immediately formed vigilante groups patrolling the streets ‘protecting’ innocent white women by beating up black men”.

And the fetishisation of black masculinity has also positioned white men as our sexual rivals, which has ultimately culminated in the kind of anti-black violence we have faced from police officers and so-called vigilantes. Liam Neeson’s confession in 2019 that he sought to kill a black man after his friend was r…p..d drew parallels with the white men who murdered 14-year-old Emmett Till just 65 years ago. Again, presenting black men as aggressive sexual rivals encourages white men to seek sexual revenge.

How much you enjoy sex with black men isn’t a call to action. In fact, white “allies” should interrogate how their sensationalising of our apparent sexual prowess has been historically used to justify state and vigilante violence against us. The history of racism is also a history of sexuality.

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By *ewgirlontheblockWoman
20 weeks ago

sexy town

For me it's about attraction and chemistry, although saying that a black man will always draw my attention. As for what is in his pants that doesn't matter if the connection is there. This whole thing about all black men having big genitals is rubbish.. some white guys do get a bit arsey if they have been turned down in favour of a black guy..

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By *issP69Woman
20 weeks ago

Neath

Why the need to exclaim that you are not Muslim or Pakistani on your profile? Why have you singled out a specific religion and a specific nationality to profess that you are neither?

I am a Welsh Atheist but it's of no relevance here, and if I felt it was I would simply state so on my profile rather than declaring that I was not another specific religion or nationality.

Seems a bit odd to me (but I'm the biggest oddball on here) so maybe it's normal? Should I add to my profile I am not Hindu and am not Australian, for example?

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By *ackieSteveCouple
20 weeks ago

Newbridge

Italian - Persian?

So Italian - Iranian right?

Not that there's anything wrong with that, but if you're pointing out issues and all that jazz, saying you're from a country that hasn't existed for 90 years is kinda counter intuitive, is it not?

Anyways, by the looks of your profile you're doing things right, going to socials and organised events, looking sharp and being pleasant to people.

Putting a rant up like this isn't going to help. People have preferences for whatever reasons they damn well like and being angry about it is ridiculous.

Hope everyone has a very enjoyable festive period, we shall hopefully be seeing a very nice friend of ours who just so happens to be a black man later

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By *atLikeThiefMan
20 weeks ago

crosshands

As a white man brought up in apartheid South Africa whom had many black friends even though it caused me to be shunned to a degree you have a frail understanding of racism. On here think of yourself as a dildo, people don’t want you for anything more than to incorporate you to their already existing sex life and people do have a preferences to their dildos, sometimes they will want use of you other times they will not, it is not an emotional attachment but a physical need. This might sound a bit cold but we are not here for strong emotional attachments but to explore by ourselves or in other cases as couples. Some want connection others don’t, just as some want bbc as others don’t. So yea indeed it is just simply a preference and you need to accept this. So work on packaging and marketing your dildo towards those who are looking for what your dildo has to offer and if you’re lucky someone will want to incorporate you into their sexploits. Just remember it’s a big market out there so find your niche and be patient! Be prepared for everything expect nothing!

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By *elsh_naturist_coupleCouple
20 weeks ago

Newport

"Let's get straight to the point, because this mindset has gone too far and it genuinely hurts people.

Racism doesn't always come as insults or hatred.

Sometimes it hides behind so-called "preferences," while quietly devaluing everyone else. The damage it causes is still very real.

A fetish does not cancel out racism, it can actually be a form of it."

You obviously have quiet strong opinions!

People come on here all shapes, sizes, religions, colour and cock size.

We all have different tastes in people, we all come here for different things.

So I someone is only interested in black guys with big socks whats the problem?

It saves someone who doesn't match your desires putting time and effort into a message that's not going to get you anywhere. No mater how nice a personality or big their socks or cock is!

We are all allowed personally choice!

I could never meet with an audience driver does that make me a bad a person.

By you email someone should meet anyone that messages them irrespective of personal taste or desires!

That's not right!

It's not racist someone saying they only like black guys or green women.

However its very disrespectful making out someone is racist because of desire and preference.

What you are suggesting has nothing to do with race or religion sounds more like sour grapes!

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By *ord and LilliaCouple
20 weeks ago

a house on a hill, Newport

Not one comment on the subject of free speech. Not one comment about the value of the fact that the OP is entitled to have an opinion. Not one comment on the fact that it's a topic worthy of debate.

Just: Shut down. Attack. Demonise. Find an angle with which to attack so that commenters feel validated by the things they say. Find an angle that they can communicate that makes them morally superior.

Nothing to do with the topic and the potential for debate.

Just: Eradicate, Erase, Evict.

It makes me sad that it's still a hive-mind on here after more than a decade of navigating it. Nobody has asked why. Nobody has questions. Nobody even considered the fact that there is a different opinion to their own.

We have declined meets from the people who offered us BBC or BWC. You either have a big dick or you don't. Offer us that one simple thing and it's that easy. No need for extra labels or anything else attached to the reasons why those labels even exist. For us it's that simple. Sex is simple. For us, end of 🤷‍♂️.

Personally I have been aware of this thread since about 20 minutes after it was posted. But 'because it's Christmas' I refrained from saying anything until now. And I'm only commenting now because I'm home alone and have had Bacardi.

Everyone commenting back has said that it's up to the individual whom they meet and why (or thereabouts). Not one person has said anything about the OP having any kind of legitmacy or even enquired about it for their viewpoint. It's just been 'Shutdown, Stifle, Silence'.

And that's not what a forum is. If all we forumites are here for is a cog in a confirmation bias machine, we're out.

Discuss. Dissect. Analyse. Be willing to be open to another perspective and everything behind that perspective that makes it exist, otherwise how do we learn?

Or are you all conceited enough to believe you know it all already? Because I sure as hell don't and I take risks every time I post my thoughts on here that we get blocked by several dozen profiles each time.

-Lord

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By *rum68Man
20 weeks ago

Pembroke

If only wanting BBC makes you racist, am I sexist because I’m only interested in women?

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By *ord and LilliaCouple
20 weeks ago

a house on a hill, Newport

"If only wanting BBC makes you racist, am I sexist because I’m only interested in women?"

According to some people in society, yes, yes it does.

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By *issP69Woman
20 weeks ago

Neath

"If only wanting BBC makes you racist, am I sexist because I’m only interested in women?"

You're obviously homophobic if you don't wish to meet men

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By *ord and LilliaCouple
20 weeks ago

a house on a hill, Newport

"If only wanting BBC makes you racist, am I sexist because I’m only interested in women?

You're obviously homophobic if you don't wish to meet men

That's one for the Record Books, we actually agree on something MissP

-Lord

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By *issP69Woman
20 weeks ago

Neath

I can see that the OP has removed the "I am not a Muslim or a Pakistani" from his profile

Just seemed a little hypocritical that he seemed to be trying to imply that other people are racist because of their sexual preferences whilst for whatever reason himself needing to profess that he is not a Muslim or a Pakistani on his profile. All very strange imo

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By *emptDMan
20 weeks ago

here

I find it interesting that you’ve entered this thread in defence of the OP, whose argument is framed as protecting a group of people he himself is not part of. From what I can see, nearly every response since, and I’m open to correction, has come from people who wouldn’t be categorised as “BBC.”

You criticise the lack of discussion, yet the majority of replies have simply defended one core principle, people’s right to choose who they are sexual with. That IS the discussion. While at the same time, in the very message where you call others out, you clearly state your own sexual criteria. And that’s the key point, a lack of preference is still a preference. Saying “We have declined meets from the people who offered us BBC or BWC. You either have a big dick or you don't.” is still a choice. That choice is no more or less valid than someone saying “BBC matters to me.” Neither position requires moral justification because consent and attraction are personal not sociable obligations.

As a Black man myself, I’m not automatically accepted by profiles that say “BBC only.” Equally, I don’t restrict myself to those profiles, nor do I pursue only people who want BBC. That is MY choice. No one owes me access, and I don’t owe anyone interest.

“BBC” is a descriptor, not a value judgement, no different in function than “tall, dark and handsome,” “athletic,” “curvy”, “ample” “sub” “Bi only”. We accept those without attempting to turn them into moral failures.

Freedom of choice is foundational to the swinging and kink communities. Once we start policing why someone is attracted to what they’re attracted to, we undermine the very autonomy these spaces are built on.

You’re right that discussion matters but discussion doesn’t require people to surrender their boundaries to prove they’re ethical.

Just my two pennies

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By *emptDMan
20 weeks ago

here

[Removed by poster at 26/12/25 23:58:58]

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By *emptDMan
20 weeks ago

here

The message was meant in reply to Lord’s messages

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By *ord and LilliaCouple
20 weeks ago

a house on a hill, Newport

"I find it interesting that you’ve entered this thread in defence of the OP, whose argument is framed as protecting a group of people he himself is not part of. From what I can see, nearly every response since, and I’m open to correction, has come from people who wouldn’t be categorised as “BBC.”

You’re right that discussion matters but discussion doesn’t require people to surrender their boundaries to prove they’re ethical.

Just my two pennies

You are a rare one in our experience. In that based on this commentary you wrote, you are different to most others that would approach us when we're interested in meeting.

We have had several messages from people who 'invited' us to their BBC. Almost all of the time we ignored it. But every now and then a message comes through that's not copy'n'paste and we interrogate why they feel the need to include BBC in either their headline, message or profile. And (without evidence to prove it unfortunately) the response is always something along the lines of "Because it's what I'm told works" or "Because it's a selling point" or "It's all I know".

And for me/us, for one we're not interested in that. Because it really is as simple as 'is it big or not', but afterwards we begin to wonder why people feel the need to define themselves that way. And then we start to feel sad about it because we feel people shouldn't have to validate themselves that way in order to fit the criteria of 'BBC'. Or whatever the vogue terminology is that day.

There is the unfortunate fact that there are a great many profiles only seeking 'BBC'. Not big cocks. Just BBC. There are a great many profiles that "won't meet Asians". Etc etc.

The original post was about BBC and racial bias, and I apologise for the possible hi-jacking the thread but I feel like it is relevant. People are entitled to seek what they are looking for, but the original question remains, does it stem from a racial bias that they aren't even aware of?

Hence why I interjected at all. It was all negative nah nah nah nah. All 'my opinion is right' and not a lot of openness to even see it from another point of view. I have stayed quiet for years because it's clear mob-mentality rules. And either I'm a dinosaur with old fashioned views or I'm not a sheep. But recently I have been woken up and until I run out of energy I will speak my mind about how I feel about certain things.

This is one of those few things.

-Lord

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By *he first Gentleman OP Man
20 weeks ago

Fab

Just to clarify my point , because, as expected, many people read it superficially and reacted with insults or aggression simply because they believe their views are the only valid ones.

I wasn’t trying to defend myself, and I wasn’t interested in arguing in a hostile space. My issue was never with sexual preferences. Liking big cock is no different from liking tight pussy ,that in itself is not a problem.

My concern is with people who hide racist behaviour behind fetishisation. Recently this has become more obvious and, frankly, rude. Some people feel entitled to treat single men ,especially men from different skin colours and minority communities , however they like, while using “BBC” as a shield to say, “See, I’m not racist.” In reality, reducing Black men to a sexual object is just another form of dehumanisation. It’s not appreciation ,it’s objectification.

Yes, some people may not complain because they get what they want, but a decent and self-respecting Black community recognises this behaviour and calls it out when they see it. Arguing with people who think this way is pointless , they don’t listen and don’t want to change.

Real change comes when thoughtful people speak up ,including Black voices themselves ,and try to move the conversation away from this mindset.

To be clear again:

I have no issue with people who genuinely like big cock, just as others like tight pussy. The issue is rejecting someone purely because of their skin colour or race, without knowing or seeing anything about them, how they play or what skills they have in scene, and then hiding that racism behind a fetish.

We can easily say “I like big cock” instead of normalising labels like BBC. This is meant to be an open space to express opinions freely, so there’s no need for swearing, mocking, or personal attacks. If you disagree, focus on the topic , that’s what a modern, open-minded scene should be about.

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By *t.jt.jtMan
20 weeks ago

Cardiff

Real change comes when thoughtful people speak up ,including Black voices themselves ,and try to move the conversation away from this mindset.

Perhaps it's not your place to decide how the black community (as a monolith) reacts and calls out behaviour.

Perhaps, some people are apathetic to the cause you're trying to champion, others might benefit or even enjoy the dynamic, some might agree in part with the jist of some of the things you're saying and find it presumptuous that all black people need to act a certain way to be 'decent' or 'self-respecting'.

I know from personal experience that there can be a degree of fetishism that goes along with being a black man in this space, (I've left a play date after the phrase 'jungle cock' was said) but my overall experience doesn't align with the picture you're trying to paint.

Generally it's obvious from the messages and the interactions how someone slants and personally the term BBC doesn't offend me. It's a shorthand like bbw or twink.

Frankly, I think you're too invested in a communities issues that you don't have a say in - I can only guess at the motivation for it but you're not the saviour for black men on fab.

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By *he first Gentleman OP Man
20 weeks ago

Fab

I understand your perspective, but I still see a largely superficial framing of the issue. My post comes from personal experience, I’ve faced repeated racist behaviour because of my skin colour, even from people who claim they’re not racist and hide behind fetish terms like BBC. This isn’t about representing a community or being a “saviour,” nor about policing others so you don't need to attack me, It’s about calling out patterns of behaviour that are too often normalised and can be harmful. I don’t see why the focus is being misdirected away from the topic that prompted my post.

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By *3xymamaWoman
20 weeks ago

...., Wales

When someone messages me asking if I want a BBC I either just delete or ask if it's BBC1 or BBC2 etc. I won't use the term to describe someone. A guy is so much more than colour, cock size. If I'm attracted to someone so be it. There are people who are looking for those attributes, but personally that terminology doesn't sit well with me

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By *allySlinkyWoman
20 weeks ago

Leeds

OP it is confusing you have two identical threads running. How do I decide which to post on ?

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By *ilffadMan
20 weeks ago

swansea

OP, you will be shot down by the self appointed FAB police whose opinions you MUST respect. If you have your opinion, stick by it. It is as valid as anybody else's. Keep presenting a cogent argument

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By *he first Gentleman OP Man
20 weeks ago

Fab

Thank you so much for your time and attention to this topic. I’m really sorry if posting in both the UK and Wales forums caused any confusion. I initially posted in the Wales forum, then thought it might be interesting for the whole UK, but I couldn’t delete the first post. It’s something I’ve learned about forum posting, now I have to post the same thing on both forums, my apologies again!

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