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Advice for single guys attending a Club

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By *heoriginalCJ OP   Man
44 weeks ago

mystic valley

I thought it might be useful to give you fellas some tips on club etiquette.

This is based on my many years of attending clubs and YOU GUYS NEED TO READ THIS !

Firstly, congratulations on making the big step to the wonderful world of swinging clubs. They are a lot of fun but don't be fooled, sex is not guaranteed especially for single guys and unless you want to be banned RESPECT IS KEY.

1. NO TOUCHING!!! This may sound stupid but hear me out. Clubs are designed for like minded people in the lifestyle to meet up and socialise in a safe environment. Unless you are given permission, DONT TOUCH anyone. It may seem inviting when a couple are going at it right next to you but always ask permission first. If they say yes, good effort but remember to be respectful. Don't do a Trump and grab her by the pussy unless you want a few missing teeth after. Just like day to day life, CONSENT IS REQUIRED, just because its in a club doesn't mean it isn't the real word. Respect everyone.

2. BOUNDARIES!!! We all get a bit lost in the moment sometimes but defining clear boundaries is the best way to have a good time. Ask what each other like, dislike or want to try. If it ain't on the happy list, don't do it. Once again it is all about consent, ensure that if you are gonna try doing something new, that everyone is happy with it. If not, move on.

3. DOORS!!! Bit of a random one this but alot of guys seem to forget it. If you are doing the rounds and seeing what is about and you see a closed door... leave it. Doors are a way of invitation. If a door is closed it means the people in it want to be left alone. Don't try and break it down. If a door is open, that is usually an indication that they are inviting people to join in or watch. If that's the case, refer to my previous 2 steps. If you do happen to enter a room with people playing, be respectful. Some couples love being watched and will be putting on a show for you but always ask permission first.

4. COHERENCE!!! Need abit of Dutch courage to go into a club? That's fine, but necking a bottle of vodka isn't going to help you. If you are going to drink before hand just remember that although you may seem fine, other people may perceive you differently. Also you want to be able to remember all the lovely people you meet so sometimes less is more. Trust me when I say that no-one is impressed by your 12 pints and still get a hard on routine.

5.HYGEINE!!! Make sure your hygiene is on top form Lads, no lady wants a smelly cock waved in their faces let alone in their mouth. Make sure you wash before and after any activities. Their are showers everywhere in clubs for this exact reason.

6.CONDOMS!!! Most places sell them for dirt cheap, if you are going to play with new people, ask them if they play safe, if it's a yes then chuck a pillow case on regardless of "whether or not you like them." This is about keeping people safe and ensuring that the fun can continue.

7.INTERACTION please, please, please, talk to people! There is nothing worse than a single guy wandering the club who doesn't talk to anyone and then expects to get intimate when things are happening in an open room.

Don't be one of the wanking dead, be brave and talk to people. We are all there for the same lifestyle, so why not talk about it to others ?

Most importantly remember that Swinging Clubs are not "fuck me now" clubs. They are by design there for people to meet, socialise and be safe. Playing is an added bonus. Be respectful to each other and you are more likely to be invited to a room.

Now, go to the club, have a great time, and always help others who are new

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By (user no longer on site)
44 weeks ago

Thank you xx

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By *mber SkiesWoman
44 weeks ago

Cwmderi

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By *wisted1Man
44 weeks ago

neath

Writen by the legend himself,

Agree with every word as the same issues need tackling in and around parties and events we do , consent is always required and expected from anyone , some people think its ok just to get hands on because of where you are and your in the scene , I've seen it happen myself so many times , I think its an absolute liberty and well done for voicing so many peoples opinion.

SO IF YOUR A DICKHEAD DONT ASK TO ATTEND A CLUB , PARTY OR EVENT ,

just be a nice person and the rest will naturally happen

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By (user no longer on site)
44 weeks ago

I'll be there tonight & I'll be taking note of any newbies who put this into practice X

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By (user no longer on site)
44 weeks ago


"I thought it might be useful to give you fellas some tips on club etiquette.

This is based on my many years of attending clubs and YOU GUYS NEED TO READ THIS !

Firstly, congratulations on making the big step to the wonderful world of swinging clubs. They are a lot of fun but don't be fooled, sex is not guaranteed especially for single guys and unless you want to be banned RESPECT IS KEY.

1. NO TOUCHING!!! This may sound stupid but hear me out. Clubs are designed for like minded people in the lifestyle to meet up and socialise in a safe environment. Unless you are given permission, DONT TOUCH anyone. It may seem inviting when a couple are going at it right next to you but always ask permission first. If they say yes, good effort but remember to be respectful. Don't do a Trump and grab her by the pussy unless you want a few missing teeth after. Just like day to day life, CONSENT IS REQUIRED, just because its in a club doesn't mean it isn't the real word. Respect everyone.

2. BOUNDARIES!!! We all get a bit lost in the moment sometimes but defining clear boundaries is the best way to have a good time. Ask what each other like, dislike or want to try. If it ain't on the happy list, don't do it. Once again it is all about consent, ensure that if you are gonna try doing something new, that everyone is happy with it. If not, move on.

3. DOORS!!! Bit of a random one this but alot of guys seem to forget it. If you are doing the rounds and seeing what is about and you see a closed door... leave it. Doors are a way of invitation. If a door is closed it means the people in it want to be left alone. Don't try and break it down. If a door is open, that is usually an indication that they are inviting people to join in or watch. If that's the case, refer to my previous 2 steps. If you do happen to enter a room with people playing, be respectful. Some couples love being watched and will be putting on a show for you but always ask permission first.

4. COHERENCE!!! Need abit of Dutch courage to go into a club? That's fine, but necking a bottle of vodka isn't going to help you. If you are going to drink before hand just remember that although you may seem fine, other people may perceive you differently. Also you want to be able to remember all the lovely people you meet so sometimes less is more. Trust me when I say that no-one is impressed by your 12 pints and still get a hard on routine.

5.HYGEINE!!! Make sure your hygiene is on top form Lads, no lady wants a smelly cock waved in their faces let alone in their mouth. Make sure you wash before and after any activities. Their are showers everywhere in clubs for this exact reason.

6.CONDOMS!!! Most places sell them for dirt cheap, if you are going to play with new people, ask them if they play safe, if it's a yes then chuck a pillow case on regardless of "whether or not you like them." This is about keeping people safe and ensuring that the fun can continue.

7.INTERACTION please, please, please, talk to people! There is nothing worse than a single guy wandering the club who doesn't talk to anyone and then expects to get intimate when things are happening in an open room.

Don't be one of the wanking dead, be brave and talk to people. We are all there for the same lifestyle, so why not talk about it to others ?

Most importantly remember that Swinging Clubs are not "fuck me now" clubs. They are by design there for people to meet, socialise and be safe. Playing is an added bonus. Be respectful to each other and you are more likely to be invited to a room.

Now, go to the club, have a great time, and always help others who are new "

Some guys lack the confidence of others. That doesn’t mean they are dead beats infact they are probably some off the best guys in there

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By *heoriginalCJ OP   Man
44 weeks ago

mystic valley


"Some guys lack the confidence of others. That doesn’t mean they are dead beats infact they are probably some off the best guys in there "

Very true however, how will people know if they are not ?

I refer to my previous answer on No 7

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By (user no longer on site)
44 weeks ago


"Some guys lack the confidence of others. That doesn’t mean they are dead beats infact they are probably some off the best guys in there

Very true however, how will people know if they are not ?

I refer to my previous answer on No 7 "

And I refer to my opening statement

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By (user no longer on site)
44 weeks ago

Just be polite & open to conversation & you'll be OK X

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By *antasycouple31Couple
44 weeks ago

Between Pontarddulias and Gorseinon


"Some guys lack the confidence of others. That doesn’t mean they are dead beats infact they are probably some off the best guys in there

Very true however, how will people know if they are not ?

I refer to my previous answer on No 7

And I refer to my opening statement "

So quite exactly what do you expect to happen? CJ is offering some good advice, if you don’t have the confidence to chat to people first, it’s possibly not the place for you.

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By *areth12399Man
44 weeks ago

Gwent

Thank you cj..appreciate the information and advice you have provided towards this

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By *ovis and GreeneyesCouple
43 weeks ago

Swansea

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

Week it was another great night except for one guy, who had to be told 3 times 'NO', went to resort report him at the bar & no one was about, it was the end of the night though, but I will be pointing him out next time. People saw me shout at him in the jacuzzi

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

After my experience last night, everyone should be made to sign some agreement before even getting through the doors of the club. Zero tolerance. Turns out the law regarding unwanted sexual contact doesn't apply in a club. Some men need a serious word with themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago


"After my experience last night, everyone should be made to sign some agreement before even getting through the doors of the club. Zero tolerance. Turns out the law regarding unwanted sexual contact doesn't apply in a club. Some men need a serious word with themselves."

I stood in disbelief at the behaviour and walked out. No on at all

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By *rownster75Couple
43 weeks ago

Sutton

As a couple who've recently been to a club for the first time, this post is really on the money.

We like to explore so just because we play with someone at the start of the evening, we don't want to be latched onto for the rest of the it.

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By *exyshortstuffWoman
43 weeks ago

south wales


"After my experience last night, everyone should be made to sign some agreement before even getting through the doors of the club. Zero tolerance. Turns out the law regarding unwanted sexual contact doesn't apply in a club. Some men need a serious word with themselves.

I stood in disbelief at the behaviour and walked out. No on at all"

So you turned a blind eye? Almost as bad as the behaviour itself..

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By *ilverstriderMan
43 weeks ago

narberth

Thank you for the post, twice now I have meant to go to a club and just bottled it last minute. Only last night I was supposed to go to greenhouse and I was outside ( after driving hour and a half to get there ), just the nerves got the better of me. Crazy thing is I’m not normally shy or nervous, think it was the fear of going in and being left as the only one not invited to play. Would be nice to have someone to go with.

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago


"Thank you for the post, twice now I have meant to go to a club and just bottled it last minute. Only last night I was supposed to go to greenhouse and I was outside ( after driving hour and a half to get there ), just the nerves got the better of me. Crazy thing is I’m not normally shy or nervous, think it was the fear of going in and being left as the only one not invited to play. Would be nice to have someone to go with. "

No one, male or female, is ever guaranteed an invite to play, whether they go alone, as a couple or group. I'd go with the idea of socialising, meeting other likeminded people and maybe forming connections

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By *3xymamaWoman
43 weeks ago

Uptown Top Ranking


"Thank you for the post, twice now I have meant to go to a club and just bottled it last minute. Only last night I was supposed to go to greenhouse and I was outside ( after driving hour and a half to get there ), just the nerves got the better of me. Crazy thing is I’m not normally shy or nervous, think it was the fear of going in and being left as the only one not invited to play. Would be nice to have someone to go with.

No one, male or female, is ever guaranteed an invite to play, whether they go alone, as a couple or group. I'd go with the idea of socialising, meeting other likeminded people and maybe forming connections "

This ^^^ stop on.

A lot of people seem to think that "they have paid their money" and are guaranteed sex. Even to the point of touching without consent and badgering people to play..

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago


"Thank you for the post, twice now I have meant to go to a club and just bottled it last minute. Only last night I was supposed to go to greenhouse and I was outside ( after driving hour and a half to get there ), just the nerves got the better of me. Crazy thing is I’m not normally shy or nervous, think it was the fear of going in and being left as the only one not invited to play. Would be nice to have someone to go with. "

Very rarely will I end up playing it’s just the way it is

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 21/01/24 23:44:06]

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By *eggieMarshmallowWoman
43 weeks ago

Cardiff


"Thank you for the post, twice now I have meant to go to a club and just bottled it last minute. Only last night I was supposed to go to greenhouse and I was outside ( after driving hour and a half to get there ), just the nerves got the better of me. Crazy thing is I’m not normally shy or nervous, think it was the fear of going in and being left as the only one not invited to play. Would be nice to have someone to go with. "

Im usually only invited to play by strange men who haven't said anything to me other than 'shall we get a room?' and then can't take no for an answer, I spend a lot of time at clubs in communal areas chatting to people. If they then go and play with someone else and don't invite you, sorry but that's just the way it is, happens to me and other women as well as men, do not follow them unless invited, it can be disheartening but you just have to deal with it

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By *exyshortstuffWoman
43 weeks ago

south wales

[Removed by poster at 22/01/24 00:02:15]

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By *eggieMarshmallowWoman
43 weeks ago

Cardiff

Thank you, I appreciate it, I've learnt to be more direct because unfortunately I've had to and every time I've said no at a club outright, I've been met with hostility, huge respect for the woman who was able to say no while surrounded by what sounds like 11 men not doing anything, that's so hard to do, I'm really sorry you were in that situation

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By *eren4891Woman
43 weeks ago

North east wales

Glad to read this. As a new SF.

I did wonder if you ve agreed safe play then they take it off and cum all over your spread ass cheeks, and well gravity does its thing.

Wtf are you meant to say?

I don't want anyone's cum in or on my pussy tbh.

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By *eren4891Woman
43 weeks ago

North east wales

OK just read the rest.

Wtaf? This is why I'm reluctant with dungeons etc

I love the idea. But trusting those around... that's another

I'm sorry for what happened. We all need to speak out. Whatever the gender etc. "You ok?" Takes 2 sec to ask

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By *eard and TattsCouple
43 weeks ago

Cwmbran

Let's be fair who these guys are. I won't say it here because I'll get absolutely slaughtered but it's always the same ones.

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By *heoriginalCJ OP   Man
43 weeks ago

mystic valley

Can I just add that this happens alot on a greenhouse bi night where its just walk ins but not very often on cams night when membership is required. Funny that ?

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By *ustUS in CardiffCouple
43 weeks ago

Cardiff

You forgot to mention 'NO' means NO!

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By *aigressMan
43 weeks ago

Cardiff

I've been very curious about clubs for a while. Never been,

I did think at one point me and a prev partner were going to dip our toes in.. but it never happened.

Now as a single male I think I'd be a bit too in my own head going in cold.. so may wait until I have a like minded friend / fwb or another partner.

The thread is exactly what's needed (sadly) just clear direct advice on how to be have (the world we live in)

When me and my partner were thinking about it.. a lot of the counters to cjs advice were things my then partner was concerned about as a woman and that's with me as a big lump of a man who made her feel very safe.

I had never been so couldn't honestly reassure her. Ultimately we didn't go.

So I guess you have to play nice of you want more people to play with... simples

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By *iss MaverickWoman
43 weeks ago

Porthcawl


"Thank you for the post, twice now I have meant to go to a club and just bottled it last minute. Only last night I was supposed to go to greenhouse and I was outside ( after driving hour and a half to get there ), just the nerves got the better of me. Crazy thing is I’m not normally shy or nervous, think it was the fear of going in and being left as the only one not invited to play. Would be nice to have someone to go with.

Im usually only invited to play by strange men who haven't said anything to me other than 'shall we get a room?' and then can't take no for an answer, I spend a lot of time at clubs in communal areas chatting to people. If they then go and play with someone else and don't invite you, sorry but that's just the way it is, happens to me and other women as well as men, do not follow them unless invited, it can be disheartening but you just have to deal with it"
I also get men like this- and when I laugh and mention that they haven’t even spoken to me, they walk away, then reappear and try again… same happens in socials though tbh. Men say nothing, yet message me after to hook up

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By *issSexyBootsTV/TS
43 weeks ago

Cardiff

This is such good advice!

Love the term the wanking dead too!

Nothing worse than someone not communicating with you and then pushing their hard cock into your face without warning, drives me mad that!

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago


"Thank you for the post, twice now I have meant to go to a club and just bottled it last minute. Only last night I was supposed to go to greenhouse and I was outside ( after driving hour and a half to get there ), just the nerves got the better of me. Crazy thing is I’m not normally shy or nervous, think it was the fear of going in and being left as the only one not invited to play. Would be nice to have someone to go with.

Im usually only invited to play by strange men who haven't said anything to me other than 'shall we get a room?' and then can't take no for an answer, I spend a lot of time at clubs in communal areas chatting to people. If they then go and play with someone else and don't invite you, sorry but that's just the way it is, happens to me and other women as well as men, do not follow them unless invited, it can be disheartening but you just have to deal with it I also get men like this- and when I laugh and mention that they haven’t even spoken to me, they walk away, then reappear and try again… same happens in socials though tbh. Men say nothing, yet message me after to hook up "

Our the look at you & give you the head swipe to indicate, you coming, not even a word said.

Just for clarity sake, the guy who touched me 3 times is a member & goes on a Friday night X

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By *abriellajackCouple
43 weeks ago

Newport


"After my experience last night, everyone should be made to sign some agreement before even getting through the doors of the club. Zero tolerance. Turns out the law regarding unwanted sexual contact doesn't apply in a club. Some men need a serious word with themselves."

We have seen so many threads about this kind of behaviour at this club and heard some real horror stories. I'm sure it happens at other clubs too but we can honestly say we have never seen it.

The only slight issue we ever witnessed was a guy sneaking in to Townhouse and the staff could not have have spotted him and removed him any more rapidly!

It should be absolutely zero tolerance in all clubs with lifetime bans for anyone overstepping the mark.

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By *ateCdfMan
43 weeks ago

Cardiff


"After my experience last night, everyone should be made to sign some agreement before even getting through the doors of the club. Zero tolerance. Turns out the law regarding unwanted sexual contact doesn't apply in a club. Some men need a serious word with themselves."

I agree with the sentiment. Sadly, if they aren't going to comply with the law when it comes to consent, they probably won't make much notice of a disclaimer. Absolute degenerates

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By *elshhorseMan
43 weeks ago

ogmore valley

NO means NO

And if you can't understand that you have no place in the club, a few people know me in there ,and a few times I have had women coming to me to chat to me ,as someone is not listening to them and I told them to back off, and told people behind the bar, I've had men thinking they can touch someone who I had on the cross under my protection, they learned the wrong way, and been in the viewing room with couples, and someone tried his luck was told no ,person kept on ,I give him a option to leave quietly, I'm not normally a violent person.But this really makes me mad, and others who turn a blind eye to this happening is as bad as the person doing it.

Stay safe and have fun .

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By *lessing2016Woman
43 weeks ago

Cardiff

Great post!! Thanks CJ!

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By *r sugarandspiceMan
43 weeks ago

South Wales

If anyone need a personal bodyguard in the club for the night please do not hesitate to ask few of us are happy to do that looking at CJ WELSHORSE

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

Very true however, how will people know if they are not ?

I refer to my previous answer on No 7

A wealth of knowledge and experience

If they don’t want to take the advice then they are wasting their time and energy

Because no one is going to be interested

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By *elshhorseMan
43 weeks ago

ogmore valley

[Removed by poster at 26/01/24 21:10:29]

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By *elshhorseMan
43 weeks ago

ogmore valley


"If anyone need a personal bodyguard in the club for the night please do not hesitate to ask few of us are happy to do that looking at CJ WELSHORSE"

Will help anyone out in anyone way I can ,from just showing people around, and hope making them feeling comfortable.

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By *elshhorseMan
43 weeks ago

ogmore valley


"If anyone need a personal bodyguard in the club for the night please do not hesitate to ask few of us are happy to do that looking at CJ WELSHORSE"

Will help anyone out in anyone way I can ,from just showing people around, and hope making them feeling comfortable.

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By *rownieoreoMan
43 weeks ago

Dublin 15 & Enniskillen

Good one. Appreciate it

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By *oxy babeWoman
42 weeks ago

gower

Bump

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