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Are singles guys less attractive?

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By *anceSky OP   Man
over a year ago

Swindon

Are singles guys less attractive?

I ask the above because I have sent 100's of messages to ladies and couples yet rarely get a message back. Though if I do its usually one liner responses (yet contradictory, they demand no one-liners in messages to them). Or doesn't go much past 1 reply from then.

This is even after I have diligently read through their profiles then ensured either bits about the profile is Included in my email; has the "status word" hidden in their profile; supplied a face photo; and many other things. But still nothing.

I think it's even more a kick in the teeth when their looking for men in their local area, but I still get ditched.

1) Does anyone else get the same?

2) Is there a secret code word I'm missing? (this question is mostly sarcasm to be fair)

3) . . . .? (cannot think of another question ha!)

What do you think would help things improve for me?

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By *asutsMan
over a year ago

stourbridge

You are bang on !! Your certainly not on your own. I don’t get it either !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm only interested in single guys.

Yet it's impossible to reply to everyone that messages me.

I gotta be interested in a guy to reply to him.

We are not everyone's type.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"Are singles guys less attractive?

I ask the above because I have sent 100's of messages to ladies and couples yet rarely get a message back. Though if I do its usually one liner responses (yet contradictory, they demand no one-liners in messages to them). Or doesn't go much past 1 reply from then.

This is even after I have diligently read through their profiles then ensured either bits about the profile is Included in my email; has the "status word" hidden in their profile; supplied a face photo; and many other things. But still nothing.

I think it's even more a kick in the teeth when their looking for men in their local area, but I still get ditched.

1) Does anyone else get the same?

2) Is there a secret code word I'm missing? (this question is mostly sarcasm to be fair)

3) . . . .? (cannot think of another question ha!)

What do you think would help things improve for me?

"

Spell the secret code letter backwards.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its cause theres ALOT of dudes on here and any moderately attractive woman gets 100s of messages a day in most so for most dudes we are all a drop in the ocean.

I know the feels , only had 1 meet from here but you gotta just not take it personally and keep trying and maybe update your profile pictures maybe?

Besides you've have had a decent amount of meets so it aint all bad

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By *lexeatonMan
over a year ago

Lichfield

Have you checked your settings under profile? I get tons of replies, too many to deal with to be honest. I've a standard intro to most apologising for the delay in responding.

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By *lexeatonMan
over a year ago

Lichfield


"Its cause theres ALOT of dudes on here and any moderately attractive woman gets 100s of messages a day in most so for most dudes we are all a drop in the ocean.

"

I think even the women with missing teeth, yellow fingers and greasy hair get 100s a day with the desperate guys on here. It's a man eat man world out there in fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Single men are ten a penny on here, and women can pick and choose ones they want to meet by whatever criteria they have. Try being more proactive in your search, rather than sending tons of relatively generic messages try less but more personalized? And get yourself known in your local swinging community- attend organised socials (you need to look for them yourself, no-one is going to invite you to one) and/or clubs.

Also, how about widening your age range? How many 18-45 are on this site, do you think?

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"Its cause theres ALOT of dudes on here and any moderately attractive woman gets 100s of messages a day in most so for most dudes we are all a drop in the ocean.

I think even the women with missing teeth, yellow fingers and greasy hair get 100s a day with the desperate guys on here. It's a man eat man world out there in fab."

Think that is the brother site.

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By *imits2pushMan
over a year ago

lichfield

So fab is pretty much pointless for single guys.

I’m someone that’s pretty successful on the bdsm scene and associated website, regularly play, maybe a new meet every month or so.

But in a decade of being on fab, I’ve only had a couple of meets.

I know it’s not about, me, as luckily I have success with the exact same approach elsewhere.

Unfortunately it comes down to niches and unless you fit into one or more you’ll never stand out enough to even get a convo starter.

Namely, very very well built, Hung or black,

Any mix of these and you’ll do well, if not it’s very unlikely.

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By *anceSky OP   Man
over a year ago

Swindon


"Its cause theres ALOT of dudes on here and any moderately attractive woman gets 100s of messages a day in most so for most dudes we are all a drop in the ocean.

I know the feels , only had 1 meet from here but you gotta just not take it personally and keep trying and maybe update your profile pictures maybe?

Besides you've have had a decent amount of meets so it aint all bad "

Thanks for your advice - profile could do with a look over again.

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By *anceSky OP   Man
over a year ago

Swindon


"Have you checked your settings under profile? I get tons of replies, too many to deal with to be honest. I've a standard intro to most apologising for the delay in responding."

I have checked everything that I can see - and changed a few things so thanks for pointing me in this direction. Do you know whether any replies I may have received, but are hit by my bad settings, are hidden from view? if so, do you know where can I see them?

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By *lexeatonMan
over a year ago

Lichfield

I think now you've got your settings correct you'll see them flood through. Probably not previous ones though as your old settings would still apply.

Whatever you do don't have the email notification on when you get messages, I accidently left this on first night and was awoke every few minutes with an email chime.

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By *anceSky OP   Man
over a year ago

Swindon


"Single men are ten a penny on here, and women can pick and choose ones they want to meet by whatever criteria they have. Try being more proactive in your search, rather than sending tons of relatively generic messages try less but more personalized? And get yourself known in your local swinging community- attend organised socials (you need to look for them yourself, no-one is going to invite you to one) and/or clubs.

Also, how about widening your age range? How many 18-45 are on this site, do you think? "

Thanks for your advice - I've changed my age settings already!

My messages are usually personal that's the problem as they even reference parts of their profile.

Do you know whether there's best writing style?

(I know this may sound a little Charles Dickens ha! but it's worth an ask. I'm wondering is my years in IT & the Corporate worlds make my messages less conducive..? I'm not a Uni buff, neither did I go to college, I just worked from the raw grass-roots and worked hard...wouldn't want anyone to think I was being a snob when I wrote this as I'm very very far from it)

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By *imits2pushMan
over a year ago

lichfield

What settings are you referring too?

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By *anceSky OP   Man
over a year ago

Swindon


"I think now you've got your settings correct you'll see them flood through. Probably not previous ones though as your old settings would still apply.

Whatever you do don't have the email notification on when you get messages, I accidently left this on first night and was awoke every few minutes with an email chime."

Thanks chap - I made sure that was switched off....so at least I did that bit right ha!

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By *lexeatonMan
over a year ago

Lichfield

[Removed by poster at 12/03/20 20:46:16]

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By *lexeatonMan
over a year ago

Lichfield


"What settings are you referring too?"

Must be Friary? Surely can't be Kind Edwards!?

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By *lexeatonMan
over a year ago

Lichfield


"I think now you've got your settings correct you'll see them flood through. Probably not previous ones though as your old settings would still apply.

Whatever you do don't have the email notification on when you get messages, I accidently left this on first night and was awoke every few minutes with an email chime.

Thanks chap - I made sure that was switched off....so at least I did that bit right ha!"

Welcome pal. Good luck.

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By *ildatheart6969Couple
over a year ago

Cheltenham

Yeah most of the good ones are taken.

This is not your usual tinder and messages probably make up for a small amount of action on here.

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By *imits2pushMan
over a year ago

lichfield


"What settings are you referring too?

Must be Friary? Surely can't be Kind Edwards!?"

Huh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Single men are ten a penny on here, and women can pick and choose ones they want to meet by whatever criteria they have. Try being more proactive in your search, rather than sending tons of relatively generic messages try less but more personalized? And get yourself known in your local swinging community- attend organised socials (you need to look for them yourself, no-one is going to invite you to one) and/or clubs.

Also, how about widening your age range? How many 18-45 are on this site, do you think?

Thanks for your advice - I've changed my age settings already!

My messages are usually personal that's the problem as they even reference parts of their profile.

Do you know whether there's best writing style?

(I know this may sound a little Charles Dickens ha! but it's worth an ask. I'm wondering is my years in IT & the Corporate worlds make my messages less conducive..? I'm not a Uni buff, neither did I go to college, I just worked from the raw grass-roots and worked hard...wouldn't want anyone to think I was being a snob when I wrote this as I'm very very far from it)"

I am probably not going to be very popular with what I am going to say, but there is no right or wrong writing style. Ok, I guess if you go with text speak, as if you were paying per every single letter, than that would not get you many replies. Unfortunately with us women, (I'm sorry if I'm stereotyping, I'm using myself as example) you have to catch us in the right frame of mind. As no matter how polite, flowing, grammatically correct, with correct punctuation and spelling the message is, and how personal, if it came when we're grumpy, fed up, juggling tons of other stuff (yes, there is life outside of Fab) or just simply not in a flirty mood, the message might be ignored or deleted for the wrong reasons. So my advice- stick to what you know, try to be engaging but not overly personal, and persevere. You might be successful.

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By *eastAndTheHarlotCouple
over a year ago

Hartlepool

You could read it all, send an amazing message, live close, do everything right and it still doesn't meant I'm automatically going to fuck you.

If EVERYONE is turning you down within the first 2 messages then you're clearly doing something wrong. Are you messaging only people looking for guys like you? Sticking to age limits and preferences they state?

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By *lexeatonMan
over a year ago

Lichfield


"If EVERYONE is turning you down within the first 2 messages then you're clearly doing something wrong."

Good point, you are pressing SEND MESSAGE? Yes?

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By *anceSky OP   Man
over a year ago

Swindon

[Removed by poster at 12/03/20 20:56:00]

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By *anceSky OP   Man
over a year ago

Swindon


"

I am probably not going to be very popular with what I am going to say, but there is no right or wrong writing style. Ok, I guess if you go with text speak, as if you were paying per every single letter, than that would not get you many replies. Unfortunately with us women, (I'm sorry if I'm stereotyping, I'm using myself as example) you have to catch us in the right frame of mind. As no matter how polite, flowing, grammatically correct, with correct punctuation and spelling the message is, and how personal, if it came when we're grumpy, fed up, juggling tons of other stuff (yes, there is life outside of Fab) or just simply not in a flirty mood, the message might be ignored or deleted for the wrong reasons. So my advice- stick to what you know, try to be engaging but not overly personal, and persevere. You might be successful. "

Thank you my dear. Your advice is very well received and I find your insight very helpful

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I find a lot of guys on here claim to read profiles, but I know they don't!

Someone messaged me the other day saying 'lovely profile' then proceeded to ask a question that the answer was easily obtained in my profile.

When I called him out he said, he didn't need to read as he just needed to see my pictures to know he wanted to meet me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are singles guys less attractive?

I ask the above because I have sent 100's of messages to ladies and couples yet rarely get a message back. Though if I do its usually one liner responses (yet contradictory, they demand no one-liners in messages to them). Or doesn't go much past 1 reply from then.

This is even after I have diligently read through their profiles then ensured either bits about the profile is Included in my email; has the "status word" hidden in their profile; supplied a face photo; and many other things. But still nothing.

I think it's even more a kick in the teeth when their looking for men in their local area, but I still get ditched.

1) Does anyone else get the same?

2) Is there a secret code word I'm missing? (this question is mostly sarcasm to be fair)

3) . . . .? (cannot think of another question ha!)

What do you think would help things improve for me?

"
women rule here they get lots of messages and have lots of choice, so your message has to grab her attention but shes got 20 others to answer

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen


"Single men are ten a penny on here, and women can pick and choose ones they want to meet by whatever criteria they have. Try being more proactive in your search, rather than sending tons of relatively generic messages try less but more personalized? And get yourself known in your local swinging community- attend organised socials (you need to look for them yourself, no-one is going to invite you to one) and/or clubs.

Also, how about widening your age range? How many 18-45 are on this site, do you think?

Thanks for your advice - I've changed my age settings already!

My messages are usually personal that's the problem as they even reference parts of their profile.

Do you know whether there's best writing style?

(I know this may sound a little Charles Dickens ha! but it's worth an ask. I'm wondering is my years in IT & the Corporate worlds make my messages less conducive..? I'm not a Uni buff, neither did I go to college, I just worked from the raw grass-roots and worked hard...wouldn't want anyone to think I was being a snob when I wrote this as I'm very very far from it)

I am probably not going to be very popular with what I am going to say, but there is no right or wrong writing style. Ok, I guess if you go with text speak, as if you were paying per every single letter, than that would not get you many replies. Unfortunately with us women, (I'm sorry if I'm stereotyping, I'm using myself as example) you have to catch us in the right frame of mind. As no matter how polite, flowing, grammatically correct, with correct punctuation and spelling the message is, and how personal, if it came when we're grumpy, fed up, juggling tons of other stuff (yes, there is life outside of Fab) or just simply not in a flirty mood, the message might be ignored or deleted for the wrong reasons. So my advice- stick to what you know, try to be engaging but not overly personal, and persevere. You might be successful. "

Described me to a 'T'

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By *anceSky OP   Man
over a year ago

Swindon


"You could read it all, send an amazing message, live close, do everything right and it still doesn't meant I'm automatically going to fuck you.

If EVERYONE is turning you down within the first 2 messages then you're clearly doing something wrong. Are you messaging only people looking for guys like you? Sticking to age limits and preferences they state?"

At first I may have been guilty of those things but over the past few weeks I have been much more liberal.

Just to test the water to see what would happen, I even found a lady locally looking a FB in your updated status; I then updated my status to say something similar (welcome to shoot me down if you think this was a knobish thing to do) and then messaged asking if she'd like to meet socially to see if could find a spark for regular FB....I got deleted / pied-off straight away.

"...and it still doesn't meant I'm automatically going to fuck you."

I completely get this so have always suggested a social meet first...still nothing...

Any more suggestions?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Single men are ten a penny on here, and women can pick and choose ones they want to meet by whatever criteria they have. Try being more proactive in your search, rather than sending tons of relatively generic messages try less but more personalized? And get yourself known in your local swinging community- attend organised socials (you need to look for them yourself, no-one is going to invite you to one) and/or clubs.

Also, how about widening your age range? How many 18-45 are on this site, do you think?

Thanks for your advice - I've changed my age settings already!

My messages are usually personal that's the problem as they even reference parts of their profile.

Do you know whether there's best writing style?

(I know this may sound a little Charles Dickens ha! but it's worth an ask. I'm wondering is my years in IT & the Corporate worlds make my messages less conducive..? I'm not a Uni buff, neither did I go to college, I just worked from the raw grass-roots and worked hard...wouldn't want anyone to think I was being a snob when I wrote this as I'm very very far from it)

I am probably not going to be very popular with what I am going to say, but there is no right or wrong writing style. Ok, I guess if you go with text speak, as if you were paying per every single letter, than that would not get you many replies. Unfortunately with us women, (I'm sorry if I'm stereotyping, I'm using myself as example) you have to catch us in the right frame of mind. As no matter how polite, flowing, grammatically correct, with correct punctuation and spelling the message is, and how personal, if it came when we're grumpy, fed up, juggling tons of other stuff (yes, there is life outside of Fab) or just simply not in a flirty mood, the message might be ignored or deleted for the wrong reasons. So my advice- stick to what you know, try to be engaging but not overly personal, and persevere. You might be successful. "

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By *anceSky OP   Man
over a year ago

Swindon


"I find a lot of guys on here claim to read profiles, but I know they don't!

Someone messaged me the other day saying 'lovely profile' then proceeded to ask a question that the answer was easily obtained in my profile.

When I called him out he said, he didn't need to read as he just needed to see my pictures to know he wanted to meet me "

I get that and I have have been guilty of this myself because sometimes the no response syndrome has got to me i.e. what's the point of spending the time?

But I have gone back to the personal approach...

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By *anceSky OP   Man
over a year ago

Swindon


"If EVERYONE is turning you down within the first 2 messages then you're clearly doing something wrong.

Good point, you are pressing SEND MESSAGE? Yes?"

Very funny chap ha!!!

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By *iscreetfuncpl12Couple
over a year ago

Somerset


"I think now you've got your settings correct you'll see them flood through. Probably not previous ones though as your old settings would still apply.

Whatever you do don't have the email notification on when you get messages, I accidently left this on first night and was awoke every few minutes with an email chime."
Comedy gold!

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By *abonWoman
over a year ago

L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham

The word ‘discreet’ in your profile frequently means married. Might be offputting to lots of women not up for married men..?

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By *ildatheart6969Couple
over a year ago

Cheltenham


"The word ‘discreet’ in your profile frequently means married. Might be offputting to lots of women not up for married men..? "

Not being discreet with his pic plastered on his profile.

Do married men do this?

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By *anceSky OP   Man
over a year ago

Swindon


"The word ‘discreet’ in your profile frequently means married. Might be offputting to lots of women not up for married men..? "

That's a really good point as I didn't see it that way. I'm not married, nor in a relationship. Though I am divorced...we won't go there ha!

I wrote discreet assuming that's a "rule number 1" for most people/ladies to build trust however it never occurred to me anyone would view it in that way - good things for forums then hey! I clearly misunderstood this could be off-putting

Thank you for your feedback

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wouldn’t say less attractive looks wise. However the way 90% conduct themselves is very unattractive.

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By *anceSky OP   Man
over a year ago

Swindon


"Wouldn’t say less attractive looks wise. However the way 90% conduct themselves is very unattractive. "

I have always gone about things in a respectful. Though I am interested in what you mean further just in case what I think is honest / good, may not be for someone else.

Can you elaborate for me i.e. on some of your experiences, opinions, anything really?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are singles guys less attractive?

I ask the above because I have sent 100's of messages to ladies and couples yet rarely get a message back. Though if I do its usually one liner responses (yet contradictory, they demand no one-liners in messages to them). Or doesn't go much past 1 reply from then.

This is even after I have diligently read through their profiles then ensured either bits about the profile is Included in my email; has the "status word" hidden in their profile; supplied a face photo; and many other things. But still nothing.

I think it's even more a kick in the teeth when their looking for men in their local area, but I still get ditched.

1) Does anyone else get the same?

2) Is there a secret code word I'm missing? (this question is mostly sarcasm to be fair)

3) . . . .? (cannot think of another question ha!)

What do you think would help things improve for me?

"

We are guests in the house of swinging. Generally swinging isint for the single males, it's couples meeting couples. So I'd say single men are definitely less sought after.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

Not less attractive but you are not for me. I know exactly what i am attracted to and it is not you no matter how good the message is. Sorry but we all have our prefrances on here.

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By *rand GestureMan
over a year ago

Milton Keynes/London


" I get that and I have have been guilty of this myself because sometimes the no response syndrome has got to me i.e. what's the point of spending the time?

But I have gone back to the personal approach...

"

Honestly, there's your problem. As long as you're tailoring yourself and your approach to the circumstances, it's all ultimately a bit fake.

I appreciate I've been a bit blunt but I don't wish to cause offence.

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By *anceSky OP   Man
over a year ago

Swindon


"

Honestly, there's your problem. As long as you're tailoring yourself and your approach to the circumstances, it's all ultimately a bit fake.

I appreciate I've been a bit blunt but I don't wish to cause offence. "

I don't think you've been blunt at all as you've been honest. Thanks for your feedback chap I appreciate it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not less attractive but you are not for me. I know exactly what i am attracted to and it is not you no matter how good the message is. Sorry but we all have our preferences on here."

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By *irm hand LukeMan
over a year ago

Berkshire/West Oxfordshire

Not all single guys are unattractive. Only me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So fab is pretty much pointless for single guys.

I’m someone that’s pretty successful on the bdsm scene and associated website, regularly play, maybe a new meet every month or so.

But in a decade of being on fab, I’ve only had a couple of meets.

I know it’s not about, me, as luckily I have success with the exact same approach elsewhere.

Unfortunately it comes down to niches and unless you fit into one or more you’ll never stand out enough to even get a convo starter.

Namely, very very well built, Hung or black,

Any mix of these and you’ll do well, if not it’s very unlikely.

"

Oh to be a decade younger...

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By *mberWoman
over a year ago

Preston

I'm only looking for single men.

Contrary to what was said further up I'm not looking for muscled, hung or black (I'm not ruling them out, I judge people at face value)

I found that a lot of single men are utterly clueless. I've binned off quite a few because they've invited themselves to my house rude.

I agree with the above that if you catch me on a bad day I'd be more critical than on a good day.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen


"I find a lot of guys on here claim to read profiles, but I know they don't!

Someone messaged me the other day saying 'lovely profile' then proceeded to ask a question that the answer was easily obtained in my profile.

When I called him out he said, he didn't need to read as he just needed to see my pictures to know he wanted to meet me

I get that and I have have been guilty of this myself because sometimes the no response syndrome has got to me i.e. what's the point of spending the time?

But I have gone back to the personal approach...

"

All I am going to counteract is, don't then describe yourself as a professional once admitting to NOT reading profile purely because you can't be arsed! First impressions and all that, they do count, so all I did was ignore his further messages! Guys there are lessons to be learned here!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great profile...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s more like you should conduct yourselves like swingers, and not just guys looking for a shag.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich


"I think now you've got your settings correct you'll see them flood through. Probably not previous ones though as your old settings would still apply.

Whatever you do don't have the email notification on when you get messages, I accidently left this on first night and was awoke every few minutes with an email chime."

Shouldn't this post be in the Fantasy section?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So many of thease threads of single males sounds a bit of desperation...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you have to stand out, always be a gent but dont be boring, we don't all think the same, we aren't all swingers, we all have had different experiences, this is an internet app which can get you meets if you're worthy of them, show your personality

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

but in answer to your question some single guys are unattractive

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich


" we aren't all swingers, "

This is what makes it so difficult.

We are on a site called Fabswingers. Take a wild stab in the dark on who we want to meet?

Wtf are non-swingers doing on a swinging site?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" we aren't all swingers,

This is what makes it so difficult.

We are on a site called Fabswingers. Take a wild stab in the dark on who we want to meet?

Wtf are non-swingers doing on a swinging site?

"
hey lots of women here looking for relationships and men, lots who've been in the lifestyle years and can't do it anymore or whose partner left the for the FB, some come here to chat to friends and lets face it most single people aren't swingers, i think you are really quite naive to believe just because this internet domain uses the title that it lives and breathes the title, its a meeting point and not solely of like minded people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" we aren't all swingers,

This is what makes it so difficult.

We are on a site called Fabswingers. Take a wild stab in the dark on who we want to meet?

Wtf are non-swingers doing on a swinging site?

hey lots of women here looking for relationships and men, lots who've been in the lifestyle years and can't do it anymore or whose partner left the for the FB, some come here to chat to friends and lets face it most single people aren't swingers, i think you are really quite naive to believe just because this internet domain uses the title that it lives and breathes the title, its a meeting point and not solely of like minded people "
them

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By *D835Man
over a year ago

London


" we aren't all swingers,

This is what makes it so difficult.

We are on a site called Fabswingers. Take a wild stab in the dark on who we want to meet?

Wtf are non-swingers doing on a swinging site?

hey lots of women here looking for relationships and men, lots who've been in the lifestyle years and can't do it anymore or whose partner left the for the FB, some come here to chat to friends and lets face it most single people aren't swingers, i think you are really quite naive to believe just because this internet domain uses the title that it lives and breathes the title, its a meeting point and not solely of like minded people "

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