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"I like to make hubby jealous with my antics but i sometimes wonder if i go too far. When do you guys think teasing crosses the line into cruelty?" when it tampers with the emotional as well as the physical | |||
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"I like to make hubby jealous with my antics but i sometimes wonder if i go too far. When do you guys think teasing crosses the line into cruelty?" you should'nt do that,jealousy can be a nasty thing | |||
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"I think i need to clarify that he does like the the things i do and many of them are his idea. The cuckold thing is a fantasy for both of us. He does get jealous but we both feel that if ever he didnt it would be time to stop. If he feels no jealousy when his wife fucks other men then he no longer cares. Thats how we see it. So him being jealous is a positive not a negative" If it really is jealousy, that would destroy a relationship in time! As to you comment "If he feels no jealousy when his wife fucks other men then he no longer cares"? Crap! Or most of the proper swingers on this site do not care about their partners and the ones I know, I know that not to be true! I have no jealousy when Innuendo is with another guy, but I absolutely adore her and care very deeply! I think you are playing a dangerous game... | |||
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"I like to make hubby jealous with my antics but i sometimes wonder if i go too far. When do you guys think teasing crosses the line into cruelty?" After reading the thread i just have to ask one thing. Is your marriage really worth an hour or two worth of sex with a stranger? | |||
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"I think i need to clarify that he does like the the things i do and many of them are his idea. The cuckold thing is a fantasy for both of us. He does get jealous but we both feel that if ever he didnt it would be time to stop. If he feels no jealousy when his wife fucks other men then he no longer cares. Thats how we see it. So him being jealous is a positive not a negative If it really is jealousy, that would destroy a relationship in time! As to you comment "If he feels no jealousy when his wife fucks other men then he no longer cares"? Crap! Or most of the proper swingers on this site do not care about their partners and the ones I know, I know that not to be true! I have no jealousy when Innuendo is with another guy, but I absolutely adore her and care very deeply! I think you are playing a dangerous game..." XXXX | |||
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". If he feels no jealousy when his wife fucks other men then he no longer cares." I would suggest that you really have NO idea what swinging as a couple is really about. Swinging isn't about jealousy its about sexual gratification and openess, honesty, willingness and trust. My honest opinion is that you would be a very dangerous couple to meet because god help the day you do 'push' your husband too far...... I bet it won't be pretty and the innocent swinger you will be with will cop the brunt of it. Mind you, at least most of the forumites know to avoid you. Sorry, thats what I see. | |||
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"Recently attended a social and id spoken to a guy im seeing about how im a flirt and what were our limits. I didn't know how id feel until i saw him with another woman and he wouldnt know until he saw me flirting with another man. If i got a gentle tap on the ass and a whisper in my ear then i knew that would be the limit. Think communication is key and being honest. Also don't think its something you can suss out until you try and feel it I thought id hate seeing him flirt with another woman but when we tried it i found it a turn on knowing he was mine " I can relate to the seeing, it is behind the back that I cannot cope with! | |||
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"Has anyone actually witnessed many arguments in clubs that where down to the green eyed monster?" ive seen a few I was in the changing room at one club and a guy was having a go at his mrs for talking to a single guy at the bar, i heard her say something along the lines of he said hi so i only said hi back and he snappd back at her, you know our rules you dont talk to men Ive heard a few couples do the point scoring thing where ones pissed off at the end of the night because their partners played with more people than they have I actually had one woman come over to me at chams and asked me to go into a room with her fella because he only allows her to play alone if he is and she had been talking to a guy she liked so needed to get someone for her fella so she could go off with said man without him having a go at her lol you get all sorts in these places, some make me laugh | |||
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"I like to make hubby jealous with my antics but i sometimes wonder if i go too far. When do you guys think teasing crosses the line into cruelty?" treading on thin ice me thinks..don't do it | |||
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"well i have asked and do ask. he says hes happy and encourages me. so thank you all for your input, i think ive perhaps worded the question badly, but what i will take from this is never post on the forums. i didnt expect such attacks for what is our lifestyle choice." i am really sorry that people did not see what was clearly a cuck relationship to me. Perhaps you could join one of the cuckolding sites and they might be able to help you explore ? | |||
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"i am really sorry that people did not see what was clearly a cuck relationship to me. Perhaps you could join one of the cuckolding sites and they might be able to help you explore ?" Perhaps you can enlighten me and I think many others, Jem. I thought Cuck was more about control rather than making someone jealous! A sub/dom experience! I had no idea that these types of relationships were based on jealousy! If they are based on jealousy, then I see that as a dangerous situation and one that is bound to fail at some point! To be honest, I don’t know much about this side of it, but for me, to make someone jealous to get your sexual gratification seems OTT! And as someone else asked. What happens when the jealousy gets too much at a meet? Anger wells up and some innocent playmate becomes the object of fury? I understand that practices like this are usually controlled, but this couple seem to be relatively naive about the consequences of this course of action. | |||
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"i am really sorry that people did not see what was clearly a cuck relationship to me. Perhaps you could join one of the cuckolding sites and they might be able to help you explore ? Perhaps you can enlighten me and I think many others, Jem. I thought Cuck was more about control rather than making someone jealous! A sub/dom experience! I had no idea that these types of relationships were based on jealousy! If they are based on jealousy, then I see that as a dangerous situation and one that is bound to fail at some point! To be honest, I don’t know much about this side of it, but for me, to make someone jealous to get your sexual gratification seems OTT! And as someone else asked. What happens when the jealousy gets too much at a meet? Anger wells up and some innocent playmate becomes the object of fury? I understand that practices like this are usually controlled, but this couple seem to be relatively naive about the consequences of this course of action. " i would never claim to be an expert on cuckoldry, but one thing i do know is that if someone says x should never happen then someone is out there having a great time doing it! Humiliation is in my opinion a form of edge play, and yes the couple do seem naive, but they are exploring their boundaries and pushing them. Have you ever seen body writing? Woman with things like fat pig and ugly cow written over them? Theorists would say that BDSM should never leave the sub feeling degraded but for some subs that is exactly what they want. I struggle with body writing, even more so since a friend of mine introduced me to a D/s couple who are mixed race and the sub is humiliated by having racist things written on her...she loves it and consents to it! If we are to say this musnt be done because it might lead to problems then most bdsm should be stopped...and swinging as we all know couples who it has not been good for. This is why i suggested the Op looked on a cuck site, i wish i could recommend a good one. Jealousy is not part of my make up, but other things that embarrass and push my boundaries are. Perhaps on a specialist site then the OP could discuss the joys and drawbacks of the games they are playing. Sadly i am not sure she will even return, as rather than seeing what was obvious to me people seemed determined to be outraged. | |||
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"I like to make hubby jealous with my antics but i sometimes wonder if i go too far. When do you guys think teasing crosses the line into cruelty?" When you get home and find him gone | |||
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"Sadly i am not sure she will even return, as rather than seeing what was obvious to me people seemed determined to be outraged. " Thanks for that Jem (xx) It has made it a bit clearer to me, but I did notice one thing. You talked about humiliation and pushing boundaries, which I understand, but only at the end did you mention jealousy! And that was only in reference to you! I would not want to put words into your post that you didn't mean, but the absence of any mention seems to indicate that it is not normal in a Cuck relationship! That is the bit that most have commented on and causes most concern. As I said, I do not really know very much at all about anything other than swinging. That is what used to be called wife swapping, so I am on virgin territory and probably quite boring to the more adventurous. Perhaps we (those who have questioned) have got it all wrong? What I do know is that we have friends in Ipswich who are into the whole sub/Dom scene, to the point that he will even send her off to another Dom and she will spend time under his instruction. The husband would “instruct” her to arrange a meet with a woman under strict conditions, but at no time would either of them be comfortable with making the other jealous. Sadly, I think you are right about the OP not returning, but if you are, that just increases my concern about the way they are playing the game.. | |||
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"Jealousy isnt always the negative emotion that people seem to think.... and I know of a few other cuck couples that use it and use it constructively. In fact within My relationship it can be used at times.. I will actively try to illicit that response From Master.. in the sense that it can lead to a amazing session when I am shown what happens to me when I do this... It can be used the other way.. I have had it used as a way to humiliate me too.. and again.. amazing emotional response. I would agree with Jem that it was edge play though.. and Master and I do a lot of things that are more on emotional and mental bdsm than physical... and the humiliation side... but Master knows my limits.. I actually meant to reply to this thread before but have been a bit tied up with other things... and think that it was clear from the first post it must have been something both were into... rather than it being purely games. I hope the OP will return and see the helpful posts a few have put up. Cali " Thanks Cali "Jealousy is an emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, particularly in reference to a human connection. Jealousy often consists of a combination of presenting emotions such as anger, resentment, inadequacy, helplessness and disgust." That is the Wiki definition of Jealousy! I cannot see anyone putting a person they love through the roller-coaster described above! Perhaps something other than jealousy is involved. It would seem to me that the widely accepted definition would be a destructive emotion and something other than this is at work! Forgive me if this seems a bit naïve to you (and Jem!) but from where I stand, this is just not an option and boarders on dangerous for those involved! | |||
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"Sadly i am not sure she will even return, as rather than seeing what was obvious to me people seemed determined to be outraged. Thanks for that Jem (xx) It has made it a bit clearer to me, but I did notice one thing. You talked about humiliation and pushing boundaries, which I understand, but only at the end did you mention jealousy! And that was only in reference to you! I would not want to put words into your post that you didn't mean, but the absence of any mention seems to indicate that it is not normal in a Cuck relationship! That is the bit that most have commented on and causes most concern. As I said, I do not really know very much at all about anything other than swinging. That is what used to be called wife swapping, so I am on virgin territory and probably quite boring to the more adventurous. Perhaps we (those who have questioned) have got it all wrong? What I do know is that we have friends in Ipswich who are into the whole sub/Dom scene, to the point that he will even send her off to another Dom and she will spend time under his instruction. The husband would “instruct” her to arrange a meet with a woman under strict conditions, but at no time would either of them be comfortable with making the other jealous. Sadly, I think you are right about the OP not returning, but if you are, that just increases my concern about the way they are playing the game.. " I didnt refer to jealousy specifically much cos its just not something that i suffer from, or kev or Sir, nothing makes either of them happier than knowing i am being a filthy slut. i simply saw it as an emotion that can be used just as fear, humiliation, degredation, and others can be...Cali perhaps understands using it better. i would say that for swinging it is not a good idea, and that for most subs the idea doesnt make sense...as anything their Dom/me wants is a pleasure to them, nothing would please me more than seeing Sir fuck someone else. However as Cali pints out it works for them. | |||
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"Playing mind games with someone can be dangerous and eyes that turn an awkward shade of green def not a good look." | |||
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"I wont be leaving, WE are having fun on here thanks. Its a shame that so many felt the need to attack what they didnt understand or agree with. I realise now i worded the question badly and my profile included some provocative words but ive toned it down now i think. Thanks to the people who have been more constructive in your messages, i do appreciate that very much, and to the others, we DO talk and yes we push each others boundaries. If thats not your scene thats fine. Have fun guys, we will." So glad u came back...have fun and ignore those who say there is ever one twue way | |||
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"I think i need to clarify that he does like the the things i do and many of them are his idea. The cuckold thing is a fantasy for both of us. He does get jealous but we both feel that if ever he didnt it would be time to stop. If he feels no jealousy when his wife fucks other men then he no longer cares. Thats how we see it. So him being jealous is a positive not a negative" It sounds like your definition of jealousy and other people's is slightly at odds. It also sounds as if you've got a clear understanding, that you share, of what works and what doesn't.... Which begs the question as to why you;re asking the question here... | |||
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"I think i need to clarify that he does like the the things i do and many of them are his idea. The cuckold thing is a fantasy for both of us. He does get jealous but we both feel that if ever he didnt it would be time to stop. If he feels no jealousy when his wife fucks other men then he no longer cares. Thats how we see it. So him being jealous is a positive not a negative It sounds like your definition of jealousy and other people's is slightly at odds. It also sounds as if you've got a clear understanding, that you share, of what works and what doesn't.... Which begs the question as to why you;re asking the question here..." Which, ioncidntally, is a criticism of here, not the OP... | |||
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"I think we can't say swinging is one thing and one thing only. Also cuckoldry is not one thing and one thing only. Everything is on a sliding scale. Many here would never think of themselves as cucks, or in that kind of relationship. But then compared to someone who would never swing then to them we may well seam on that scale. I'm sure words or caution are always helpful, but all things even the lower end of swinging carry risk. That first time you step into a new area of your relationship sexually or not, you cannot know how you will come out of it. You can plan, think ahead, feel you have talked it all through, but the future and the unknown is a path we cannot foresee and even though we may have been swinging from 1 month to 10 years, the next time could hold something new for all of us. Whilst I may feel I know my sexual boundaries and my partners, I can never truely know them. As for the OP, I would say that in a loving relationship you can never go too far. If you do go further than is comfortable in a loving relationship, then you will communicate and draw back. If it was not a loving relationship then you would proceed without accounting for the others feelings. If it was not a loving relationship you would bail at the first sign of trouble." I would liek to associate myself wholeheartedly with the the honourable member's contribution. | |||
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" I'm glad that this couple have been honest so that now we know to avoid them in case the pooh ever hits the fan. Suffice to say Jealousy is often the trigger for violence against others and in some case Murder. Either you didnt raise the question correctly or you do not have enough knowledge and awareness of vocabulary. From where we are standing it looks like your ramping up the pressure and one day that safety valve is going to blow.... But at least by that stage we will be reading about you on the News....... " Alcohol is often the trigger for violence against others. Do you avoid drinkers? | |||
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" I'm glad that this couple have been honest so that now we know to avoid them in case the pooh ever hits the fan. Suffice to say Jealousy is often the trigger for violence against others and in some case Murder. Either you didnt raise the question correctly or you do not have enough knowledge and awareness of vocabulary. From where we are standing it looks like your ramping up the pressure and one day that safety valve is going to blow.... But at least by that stage we will be reading about you on the News....... Alcohol is often the trigger for violence against others. Do you avoid drinkers?" We would never play with those that have had anything more than a social drink. Too dangerous. | |||
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"jealousy is a dangerous game to play " so is rugby | |||
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" I'm glad that this couple have been honest so that now we know to avoid them in case the pooh ever hits the fan. Suffice to say Jealousy is often the trigger for violence against others and in some case Murder. Either you didnt raise the question correctly or you do not have enough knowledge and awareness of vocabulary. From where we are standing it looks like your ramping up the pressure and one day that safety valve is going to blow.... But at least by that stage we will be reading about you on the News....... " In a way this entire thread is a good Rorschach test. It's not the question that's interesting more people's reaction and perception of the outcomes. It's more likely to be a reflection of how their outcome would be rather than an accurate portrayal of how it will turn out for the couple. I think people react differently to different stimuli. If I was going to be worried, it would be with someone who see's this as the natural reaction to Jealousy. I think my reaction to jealousy would be to try and talk to my partner, but then this is my reaction to most of my concerns whether it be buying a sofa or going to a swinging club or not liking a friend or family member. I'm a thinker then a talker type. | |||
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" I'm glad that this couple have been honest so that now we know to avoid them in case the pooh ever hits the fan. Suffice to say Jealousy is often the trigger for violence against others and in some case Murder. Either you didnt raise the question correctly or you do not have enough knowledge and awareness of vocabulary. From where we are standing it looks like your ramping up the pressure and one day that safety valve is going to blow.... But at least by that stage we will be reading about you on the News....... In a way this entire thread is a good Rorschach test. It's not the question that's interesting more people's reaction and perception of the outcomes. It's more likely to be a reflection of how their outcome would be rather than an accurate portrayal of how it will turn out for the couple. I think people react differently to different stimuli. If I was going to be worried, it would be with someone who see's this as the natural reaction to Jealousy. I think my reaction to jealousy would be to try and talk to my partner, but then this is my reaction to most of my concerns whether it be buying a sofa or going to a swinging club or not liking a friend or family member. I'm a thinker then a talker type." bloody hell...you write what i wish i could... | |||
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" I'm glad that this couple have been honest so that now we know to avoid them in case the pooh ever hits the fan. Suffice to say Jealousy is often the trigger for violence against others and in some case Murder. Either you didnt raise the question correctly or you do not have enough knowledge and awareness of vocabulary. From where we are standing it looks like your ramping up the pressure and one day that safety valve is going to blow.... But at least by that stage we will be reading about you on the News....... In a way this entire thread is a good Rorschach test. It's not the question that's interesting more people's reaction and perception of the outcomes. It's more likely to be a reflection of how their outcome would be rather than an accurate portrayal of how it will turn out for the couple. I think people react differently to different stimuli. If I was going to be worried, it would be with someone who see's this as the natural reaction to Jealousy. I think my reaction to jealousy would be to try and talk to my partner, but then this is my reaction to most of my concerns whether it be buying a sofa or going to a swinging club or not liking a friend or family member. I'm a thinker then a talker type." You're right. When we offer advice to others we often hold a mirror up to ourselves. | |||
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" bloody hell...you write what i wish i could... " Opps did I over step the mark. | |||
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