FabSwingers.com forum: Are D/s relationships addictive?

By *icentious OP Couple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

After my last one I swore I would never enter into a new one, just play B/d games.

However, the D/s call is very strong again.

Does the limbic system over power the cognitive mind, like an addiction?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm addicted

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By *icentious OP Couple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"I'm addicted

Addicted or addictive?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have only been in 1, once he broke my trust that was it for me, I enjoy a bit of kink but just as a bonus x

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

It's addictive and I'm totally addicted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm addicted

Addicted or addictive?"

A bit of both

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By *icentious OP Couple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"I have only been in 1, once he broke my trust that was it for me, I enjoy a bit of kink but just as a bonus x"

Had three, one drifted due to distance, the other two, didn’t end as clean as I hoped, think it’s more complicated to end a martial relationship than a D/s one.

Still talk to two of my ex ladies though, no bitterness, just an understanding.

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By *hortarseWoman
over a year ago

Norfolk

Well I never want to give it up.

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By *ocoTemptationMan
over a year ago

london

I've had two relationships with subs. Both very special in different ways

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I absolutely adore it. I've had 3 deep and intense relationships and it's hugely rewarding for both involved. I never intend to have anything else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have to say I am completely addicted

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By *icentious OP Couple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"I have only been in 1, once he broke my trust that was it for me, I enjoy a bit of kink but just as a bonus x

Had three, one drifted due to distance, the other two, didn’t end as clean as I hoped, think it’s more complicated to end a martial relationship than a D/s one.

Still talk to two of my ex ladies though, no

bitterness, just an understanding."

Think I got the D/s and marital the wrong way round.

Must remember to read the posts before putting

Them up.

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By *abrina59TV/TS
over a year ago

moved to cuckold land

Yes def is

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By *ucky88oMan
over a year ago

london

I entered my first D/s relationship at the age of 23 and at the age of 28 thought maybe I shouldn't be living life that way.

Had a 2n half year break now all I think about is fin ding another female led relationship

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

I think for some it's just who you are and if you are wired that way and the right person comes alone you have to male conscious decision to side step it and that's not always easy to do...

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By *ucky88oMan
over a year ago

london

My previous relationship was a femdom one.

Now I'm hoping to find a cuckoldress for a Female led relationship x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love it

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By *icentious OP Couple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

I spent some time cognitively attempting to work out why I want to play this way again.

Just miss the holistic joy and fun the relationship involves.

It is to me, rather special,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I keep in contact with mine because i still value them in my life. Won't rush into another but i miss it and i don't think there's anything wrong with that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say yes it’s addictive

Well I find it to be anyway

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By *icentious OP Couple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

So I was analysing, why.

Still cannot put my finger on why I still have a calling.

Think nearest I can get, is both parties have a need to be adored.

However, it’s an itch and a growing one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I was analysing, why.

Still cannot put my finger on why I still have a calling.

Think nearest I can get, is both parties have a need to be adored.

However, it’s an itch and a growing one."

Adored is not quite right.. But umm...hmmmm. Will think

Accepted... Desired.. . Needed?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Completed ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think once experienced a Ds relationship and the trust and excitement that involves it's very hard to feel fully fulfilled without it

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By *icentious OP Couple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"Completed ?? "

Gosh, that is close for me.

Think I would take the ‘d’ off.

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By *icentious OP Couple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"I think once experienced a Ds relationship and the trust and excitement that involves it's very hard to feel fully fulfilled without it "

Think you possibly have then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Complete... Yes.. It sits well

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By *icentious OP Couple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"Complete... Yes.. It sits well "

Thank you.

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By *asterslittlewhoreCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Very addictive,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think once experienced a Ds relationship and the trust and excitement that involves it's very hard to feel fully fulfilled without it

Think you possibly have then."
yes I have for several years

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By *icentious OP Couple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"Very addictive, "

In what way?

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By *icentious OP Couple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Just a an odd thought.

Never had sex when a partner is in subspace, it has always been intimate in the drop.

Bit of shock thinking about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love it and need it. My relationship with my ex-Dom is forever. It's changed now but we still need to be in each others lives. I couldn't do what we do with anyone else and I'm open about it to lovers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I certainly miss it

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By *icentious OP Couple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"I certainly miss it "

While it is a holistic play, what elements do you miss?

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By *otwifeandhim123Couple
over a year ago

Coventry

"After my last one I swore I would never enter into a new one, just play

However, the D/s call is very strong again.

Does the limbic system over power the cognitive mind, like an addiction?"

We are totally addicted...and we love it!

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By *asterslittlewhoreCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Very addictive,

In what way?"

I just crave that level of trust and a strong connection

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think it's a matter of being addictive I think it's a matter of being who you are. I am a submissive brat bordering on lg. I know that when I'm in that zone I am at my most content. I get ansty being in relationships that don't give me that. I can be in them as have been proven but there will always be something missing for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was a full time Dom/daddy in a past relationship

It was amazing but mentally exhausting dealing with ups and downs

Wouldn't go full time again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Very addictive,

In what way?

I just crave that level of trust and a strong connection "

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By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

I am in my first D/s relationship (if you can call if that)

We don't live together and are not a couple but meet on a regular basis.

We are in contact daily, has final say in what I do on here and who I meet.

The trust and closeness I feel with him is beyond anything else I have ever experienced in a conventional relationship and I know I am an addict to this now.

No going back for me.

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By *lli_sissyTV/TS
over a year ago

Cambridge

i've really enjoyed being in one, the level of communication and trust that they form when done well, is really nice... it creates a huge bond.

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By *oft_SensualTV/TS
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Indeed they are- my ex abandoned our marriage/house/job for her D/S sub- not like my CD/TV/whatever side was a shock to her in any way (I was up front about it before we were married)

The whole D/S mind games people can play and the fake 'morality'/superiority they can exhibit is a huge turn off.

There's no substitute for honesty in any sort of relationship and too many frauds, flakes and fakes inhabit that scene (besides this one!).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it even an addiction or addictive if you are just naturally a D or s???

I dint think addiction is part of it at all. You're either that way inclined or you're not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive had a few D/s relationships id say its very addictive.

You get use to so many things like tasks, orders rules even the good morning and good night rule. Then suddenly it stops and sometimes its very hard to mive on. I find I crave and miss that aspect of D/s so much. Im definitely addicted to it x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I came back into the scene after a 14 year break.

Its addictive x

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By *allgirthyMan
over a year ago

Harrogate

I think the short term D/s relationship I had was (somewhat frustratingly) the final nail in the coffin for having vanilla relationships. Nothing just seems as fun now. I’ve always had a strong kinky side but I kinda wish I could enjoy vanilla stuff more too now. Guess it depends who I’m with though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After my last one I swore I would never enter into a new one, just play B/d games.

However, the D/s call is very strong again.

Does the limbic system over power the cognitive mind, like an addiction?"

Id say it's who you are rather than addiction. You said it was a calling, as was said earlier can only feel complete with it.

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"After my last one I swore I would never enter into a new one, just play B/d games.

However, the D/s call is very strong again.

Does the limbic system over power the cognitive mind, like an addiction?"

Call me stupid but what is d/s?

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I think it’s more addictive for the sub, they can be very high maintenance when addicted.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"After my last one I swore I would never enter into a new one, just play B/d games.

However, the D/s call is very strong again.

Does the limbic system over power the cognitive mind, like an addiction?

Call me stupid but what is d/s? "

In this context D/s - D is dominant , s is submissive. It can be sexual, relational or both and can be full time or session , with or without some kind of contract / agreement. There’s probably more than that but that’s the main things I’ve experienced

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Does the limbic system over power the cognitive mind, like an addiction?"

Not for me , I never allow emotions drive decisions, because they are not accurate readings. But I understand what you mean by a calling , and it’s why I could never switch , it’s part of your character

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By *icentious OP Couple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"Does the limbic system over power the cognitive mind, like an addiction?

Think I slightly disagree with this (could be semantics), I personally think emotions, gut instincts are good indication of people, especially around congruent behaviour. To me D/s play cannot be a cold cognitive relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love this type of relationship when practiced properly it can be very rewarding with a trusted d

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Does the limbic system over power the cognitive mind, like an addiction?

It is semantics yes, gut instincts are cognitive , it’s just your brain working super fast to make a decision based on experiences, emotions are very different and always inaccurate and exaggerated responses that quickly change e.g honeymoon period

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By *issyfaggotfayeTV/TS
over a year ago

Bolton

I think the desire to be used, when you're sub, is pretty damn difficult to ignore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't imagine not having an element of D/s in my relationship now. It's like opening Pandora's box. Once opened there is no way you are ever going to shut it again!

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By *abrina59TV/TS
over a year ago

moved to cuckold land

I discovered through a previous Mistress sabrina had that it wasn't just Sabrina who was submissive but it was within me and just seem flourish more as Sabrina.

I have been to clubs & on meets where it wasn't my intention to be submissive but I just cant stop wishing to be dominated.

Yes it def addictive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask yourself what is going on in your life right now, would you enter into a D/s relationship to fill an inappropriate gap in your life ? What went 'wrong' last time. Is the D actually an abuser exploiting the dynamic. Is the s an empath or a co-dependent. Is it something you just want for the sexual dynamic ( no harm in that so long as both of you are aware )

The BDSM behaviours and activities are very stimulating and therefore addictive, some see it as role play, some as partially that, some would like to 'live' it and some turn to it with personality disorders and mental health issues.

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By *r genuine oneMan
over a year ago

walsall

Defiantly addictive but worth all the effort....only downside is if your not careful the feelings can get too strong if your both not careful which can be a problem when one or both are married ????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

naaaaaa you can't miss what youve never had

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By *icentious OP Couple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"Does the limbic system over power the cognitive mind, like an addiction?

Odd to me, gut instinct is an emotion brought to the cognitive mind.

Also, to me, values are emotional based hence the relationship to the limbic system and the cortex.

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By *icentious OP Couple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"I think the desire to be used, when you're sub, is pretty damn difficult to ignore

Smiles

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By *icentious OP Couple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"Defiantly addictive but worth all the effort....only downside is if your not careful the feelings can get too strong if your both not careful which can be a problem when one or both are married ????"

Agree with this, is why L always questions a D/s relationship, yet she knows my lust for it and keeps me in check.

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By *heFilthEngineerMan
over a year ago

lichfield

I only do DS, I wouldn’t say it’s addictive, as much as it allows us to be truly who you are and once you’ve had that, you can’t go back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am addicted. I long to be pegged.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Does the limbic system over power the cognitive mind, like an addiction?

Odd to me, gut instinct is an emotion brought to the cognitive mind.

Also, to me, values are emotional based hence the relationship to the limbic system and the cortex."

It feels like an emotion because it’s hard to understand but the science is well established and proven. Values are based on what you perceive as authority, which in turn determines your beliefs. Usually religious or utilitarian.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't get the addiction thing. I thought it was a certain way people are? I don't get it at all. Because I'm a certain way. I wouldn't call it an addiction. How can being d/s be an addiction? It's like saying being gay is an addiction isn't it? Surely people can't choose to be a certain way? Otherwise it's all pretence. And yeah probably an addiction. But weird. I think.

Not sure that makes sense but I know what I mean

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By *icentious OP Couple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"Does the limbic system over power the cognitive mind, like an addiction?

Odd to me, gut instinct is an emotion brought to the cognitive mind.

Also, to me, values are emotional based hence the relationship to the limbic system and the cortex.

Okay, load of bollocks

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By *icentious OP Couple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"Does the limbic system over power the cognitive mind, like an addiction?

Odd to me, gut instinct is an emotion brought to the cognitive mind.

Also, to me, values are emotional based hence the relationship to the limbic system and the cortex.

Okay, load of bollocks "

Some say the id system is a basic driver, the super ego kicks in around seven years old.

Memetics say you grow beyond superego and I know that isn’t semantics.

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"Does the limbic system over power the cognitive mind, like an addiction?

Me neither hence why i can't get a fab meet

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By *ed LipstickWoman
over a year ago

Fucksville

Following a meet with an absolute sadist that left me in tears and him saying to me that I was definitely not sub... I've gone on to love being sub to the right guy x

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By *icentious OP Couple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"Following a meet with an absolute sadist that left me in tears and him saying to me that I was definitely not sub... I've gone on to love being sub to the right guy x"
. Well done you.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Does the limbic system over power the cognitive mind, like an addiction?

Odd to me, gut instinct is an emotion brought to the cognitive mind.

Also, to me, values are emotional based hence the relationship to the limbic system and the cortex.

Okay, load of bollocks

Some say the id system is a basic driver, the super ego kicks in around seven years old.

Memetics say you grow beyond superego and I know that isn’t semantics.

My perspective is you can become enormously self aware through meditation etc but that doesn’t change the science , just makes you aware of why you do what you do. Like we know high end cars are purchased mostly based on emotions, that’s why they offer free test drives, but the non-self aware person may want to know the brake horse power and 0-60 in the pre sales to justify the decision their emotions already made.

I had a boss once who made decisions based on emotions. You could take the same problem to them on different days and depending on whether it was raining and they felt sad, or if they had had sex that morning and were happy , you would get a different answer.

Memetics and do culture can have a huge impact on some peoples beliefs and values - we literally live in a post-truth / fake news age now. .... anyway as much as I love to debate philosophy and psychology I think we’re going off topic

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