FabSwingers.com forum: Daddy

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why do women like to say this?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is a kink..

I didn't understand it at first, until i did some googling /exploring

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By *B69Woman
over a year ago

Wiltshire

I don’t

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Erm....no!

Not for me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It is a kink..

I didn't understand it at first, until i did some googling /exploring"

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

Not for me....

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By *harliebbwWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

not a term I would use and if a guy uses it then it's my cue to exit

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By *edoriartyCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough

I don't know but it can be hot

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don’t

I havent noticed it on here, but on other apps its all daddy lol.

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By *wocanplaythatgameCouple
over a year ago

coventry

Yeah not my cup of tea either . . Each to their own

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s role play I think... it has rules etc but not for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me its my fantasy of being pimped out by him and being his ho I call him Daddy and I love it

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I have a Daddy

. I only call him Daddy though. He makes me feel small and cute and safe.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I chatted with a woman who text me whenever she was horny..

"Finger bang me daddy"

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By *inkerbell67Woman
over a year ago

Clacton on sea essex

Its just wrong in all aspects

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"For me its my fantasy of being pimped out by him and being his ho I call him Daddy and I love it "

Ah, okay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It makes me cringe so much.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Its just wrong in all aspects

I said this in a BDSM chat room once and i got shot down

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Its just wrong in all aspects

I said this in a BDSM chat room once and i got shot down

Its not a very nice thing to say to be fair.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its just wrong in all aspects

I said this in a BDSM chat room once and i got shot down

Because it shows you don't understand the dynamic

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By *r AmbassadorMan
over a year ago

Dublin

"I don’t

"
am I not ur Daddy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its just wrong in all aspects

I said this in a BDSM chat room once and i got shot down

Rightly so.

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By *B69Woman
over a year ago

Wiltshire

"I don’t

am I not ur Daddy

Only on a Wednesday

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I hold my hands up, yes I don't understand. Many people would say it sounds a bit pedoish?

I'm not labelling anyone a pedophile, but how do you know the intentions and background of someone who you meet online, who wants to be called daddy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hold my hands up, yes I don't understand. Many people would say it sounds a bit pedoish?

I'm not labelling anyone a pedophile, but how do you know the intentions and background of someone who you meet online, who wants to be called daddy? "

This is my thoughts about the terminology.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I hold my hands up, yes I don't understand. Many people would say it sounds a bit pedoish?

I'm not labelling anyone a pedophile, but how do you know the intentions and background of someone who you meet online, who wants to be called daddy? "

I'm a 27 year old woman not a child. And his type is curvy women with big boobs. Children don't tend to have them.

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By *isaAndNicoleTransTV/TS
over a year ago

Southport / Ellesmere Port

I hate it, lots of Tgirls use it, but just sounds bloody weird to me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For the look in his eyes when you do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hold my hands up, yes I don't understand. Many people would say it sounds a bit pedoish?

I'm not labelling anyone a pedophile, but how do you know the intentions and background of someone who you meet online, who wants to be called daddy? "

how do you know the intention and background of anyone you meet online?? Anyone could be a psycho, rapist, sexual predator, sex pest, sex addict.. How do you choose who to avoid?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I hold my hands up, yes I don't understand. Many people would say it sounds a bit pedoish?

I'm not labelling anyone a pedophile, but how do you know the intentions and background of someone who you meet online, who wants to be called daddy?

how do you know the intention and background of anyone you meet online?? Anyone could be a psycho, rapist, sexual predator, sex pest, sex addict.. How do you choose who to avoid? "

I don't know that. If you find out, please let me know.

However I chatted with a woman who liked the daddy thing and after a long conversation, she eventually told me that she was abused by her father.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"I hold my hands up, yes I don't understand. Many people would say it sounds a bit pedoish?

I'm not labelling anyone a pedophile, but how do you know the intentions and background of someone who you meet online, who wants to be called daddy? "

Because its a word.

A word in fact that dates all the way back to 1621 when prostitutes would call their pimps "daddy".

Many words can and do have double meanings. Gay for example means merry. It just requires some thought to allow yourself to separate the two meanings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I believe the issue is that the phrase is often misunderstood. I think you have to understand the context and dynamic surrounding a specific relationship in order to understand the term.

As has been said it's more a term used in the Fetish world than the swing scene and is far more acceptable there although not always.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It's a word/term which men with evil intentions could abuse.

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By *hickennchipsWoman
over a year ago

up above the streets and houses

It’s a kink, I personally like it, many don’t. The world would be boring if we were all the same

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

This will be written on my gravestone... Although I'm getting cremated, not buried... But anyway

"stop giving the individual word the power, and instead focus on the context in which and for a word is used"

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By *hickennchipsWoman
over a year ago

up above the streets and houses

"This will be written on my gravestone... Although I'm getting cremated, not buried... But anyway

"stop giving the individual word the power, and instead focus on the context in which and for a word is used" "

Ok daddy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This will be written on my gravestone... Although I'm getting cremated, not buried... But anyway

"stop giving the individual word the power, and instead focus on the context in which and for a word is used" "

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By *heEvilWithinWoman
over a year ago

Barnsley

The term "daddy" is used by littles. So daddy dom/little girl or DD/LG. Which is one of my hard limits.

I don't judge people based on what they like as long as something isn't hurting anyone then people should be allowed to express themselves the way they want to without fear of judgement.

There are many aspects to DD /LG but the primary basis is a daddy Dom cares for his LG and is caring, provides lots of emotional support, cuddles etc and it can also be financial support too. Littles tend to be child like in their play but this can range from needing lots of cuddles after impact to them pretending to be children. Sex is rarely involved in this dynamic in the fetish world. There are huge variety of littles and like everything else varying degrees. But fetish parties for littles sometimes have like bouncy castles and stuff.

A lot of people who have been through sexual abuse as a child will become littles in later life... Anyway I'm rambling a bit. But also some people just like to call their partners daddy and they don't have any connection to the fetish side of it. I suppose its like calling a woman a bitch or a cunt or something. For some people it's just a word.

Hope that helps a bit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's a word/term which men with evil intentions could abuse.

Evil is defined by ones actions, stick n stones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is a term used in a DD/lg dynamic. Perfectly acceptable in the BDSM scene and has nothing to do with someone being a paedophile. A submissive who has little tendencies requires a Daddy Dom. A Daddy Dom nurtures and cares for their little and the dynamic is mostly non sexual. A Daddy Dom would never be sexual when their sub is in little space.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"This will be written on my gravestone... Although I'm getting cremated, not buried... But anyway

"stop giving the individual word the power, and instead focus on the context in which and for a word is used"

Ok daddy

Good girl

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"It is a term used in a DD/lg dynamic. Perfectly acceptable in the BDSM scene and has nothing to do with someone being a paedophile. A submissive who has little tendencies requires a Daddy Dom. A Daddy Dom nurtures and cares for their little and the dynamic is mostly non sexual. A Daddy Dom would never be sexual when their sub is in little space."

I wouldn't agree with never. If the little doesn't want them to they never will but it depends on the little.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't agree with never. If the little doesn't want them to they never will but it depends on the little."

If a Daddy Dom tries to be sexual when their sub is in little space then they are not a respectable Dom and shouldn't be in the lifestyle. A Dom who would do this would be a major red flag and would be avoided by an experienced submissive

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I wouldn't agree with never. If the little doesn't want them to they never will but it depends on the little.

I disagree.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't agree with never. If the little doesn't want them to they never will but it depends on the little.

I disagree."

I disagree as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't agree with never. If the little doesn't want them to they never will but it depends on the little.

I disagree."

And you're well within your right to but most people in the lifestyle would actually agree with me.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I wouldn't agree with never. If the little doesn't want them to they never will but it depends on the little.

I disagree.

And you're well within your right to but most people in the lifestyle would actually agree with me."

Again, I disagree.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't agree with never. If the little doesn't want them to they never will but it depends on the little.

I disagree.

And you're well within your right to but most people in the lifestyle would actually agree with me."

My little girl would certainly disagree and in the 10 years we have been together we haven't come across any issues with it in the Fetish community but we have, on occasion, in the swing world.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a legitimate consensual kink. Nothing dodgy about it. The reality of it and the people who participate in it is another matter and it's the reason I've withdrawn from attending and crewing fetish parties.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I wouldn't agree with never. If the little doesn't want them to they never will but it depends on the little.

I disagree.

And you're well within your right to but most people in the lifestyle would actually agree with me.

My little girl would certainly disagree and in the 10 years we have been together we haven't come across any issues with it in the Fetish community but we have, on occasion, in the swing world. "

Same here. I've never heard that in the kink community or any of the Cg/l events I have been to. Also the existence of sexual ageplay events says differently too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This will be written on my gravestone... Although I'm getting cremated, not buried... But anyway

"stop giving the individual word the power, and instead focus on the context in which and for a word is used" "

Good point. But we all know daddy = father.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This will be written on my gravestone... Although I'm getting cremated, not buried... But anyway

"stop giving the individual word the power, and instead focus on the context in which and for a word is used"

Good point. But we all know daddy = father. "

No it doesn't, sorry but you are very wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There’s a difference between calling someone Daddy and a DD/LG relationship. A huge difference. Some comments come across as ignorant and others judgemental.

The relationship between DD/LG is intense, and not for the swinging world... in my opinion.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"This will be written on my gravestone... Although I'm getting cremated, not buried... But anyway

"stop giving the individual word the power, and instead focus on the context in which and for a word is used"

Good point. But we all know daddy = father. "

And a word can't have two meanings?

As I stated above, gay also means merry, in fact it originally meant merry.

There are many more examples.

And "daddy" has been used by prostitutes since 1621 to refer to their pimp.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This will be written on my gravestone... Although I'm getting cremated, not buried... But anyway

"stop giving the individual word the power, and instead focus on the context in which and for a word is used"

Good point. But we all know daddy = father. "

Irony

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This will be written on my gravestone... Although I'm getting cremated, not buried... But anyway

"stop giving the individual word the power, and instead focus on the context in which and for a word is used"

Good point. But we all know daddy = father.

And a word can't have two meanings?

As I stated above, gay also means merry, in fact it originally meant merry.

There are many more examples.

And "daddy" has been used by prostitutes since 1621 to refer to their pimp."

The Daddy is used for the relationship! It’s not incense, or any kind of dad and daughter play.

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By *wistedTooCouple
over a year ago

Frimley

The people who like that dynamic is one thing... but whoever used the word Daddy first was a twisted mentalist. The term really could have been anything other than the shit you called your Dad when you were a kid. Would Uncle be any worse? Nope.

There are so many alternatives to that word, it surprises me it’s so common given it comes from a family member fantasy originally. People bypass that and use it for the dog/sub etc, but it’s origins are 100% family member fantasy.

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By *eoeclipseWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

I always thought of the "daddy" term to be taken as more of a pimp type, but at the higher end where he makes sure she's cared for & pampered, buy her nice things etc. And therefore sex isn't a father/daughter thing.

As some one said 17th century pimps called their workers daughters (largely cause they were sold to him) & in turn him daddy, he received the cash & gave them pocket money, also bought clothes & finery for them. Higher end typically.

Although I don't like the idea of a father/daughter dynamic. Just not for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can only speak for the use of the word in our relationship, which is this. It stands for protection, care and love. At no time do I call her my daughter but as a general term in relation to our dynamic when speaking to others I might refer to night as my LG but more often I call her sweetie. Our dynamic has nothing at all to do with a father daughter relationship.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"This will be written on my gravestone... Although I'm getting cremated, not buried... But anyway

"stop giving the individual word the power, and instead focus on the context in which and for a word is used"

Good point. But we all know daddy = father.

And a word can't have two meanings?

As I stated above, gay also means merry, in fact it originally meant merry.

There are many more examples.

And "daddy" has been used by prostitutes since 1621 to refer to their pimp.

The Daddy is used for the relationship! It’s not incense, or any kind of dad and daughter play. "

I know it's not. What I'm saying is the word can be used in any way people want to use it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always thought of the "daddy" term to be taken as more of a pimp type, but at the higher end where he makes sure she's cared for & pampered, buy her nice things etc. And therefore sex isn't a father/daughter thing. "

Is that not a sugar daddy

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

That is exactly it.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Although I don't like the idea of a father/daughter dynamic. Just not for me. "

I don't relate to that at all personally but my way is not the only way.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

It’s been used for donkeys years (Centuries) in various cultures as a term of affection for male lovers.

Google it before getting knickers in a twist people!!

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

Is that not a sugar daddy

Yes and no, it is partially where sugar daddy came from. Its a whole other dynamic isn't it. But yes there are connections through out. Which is essentially the whole point, "daddy" is much more than just a slang term for father.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is that not a sugar daddy

That's a really good way of explaining it.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

Although I don't like the idea of a father/daughter dynamic. Just not for me.

I don't relate to that at all personally but my way is not the only way."

Of course, but it is the origins of the word in the sexual world.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

Also just to throw it out there, the word "papi" which is Latino version of daddy is a term of endearment, from sexual and romantic, to respect between two friends or another word slang word for Father.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This will be written on my gravestone... Although I'm getting cremated, not buried... But anyway

"stop giving the individual word the power, and instead focus on the context in which and for a word is used"

Good point. But we all know daddy = father.

And a word can't have two meanings?

As I stated above, gay also means merry, in fact it originally meant merry.

There are many more examples.

And "daddy" has been used by prostitutes since 1621 to refer to their pimp.

The Daddy is used for the relationship! It’s not incense, or any kind of dad and daughter play.

I know it's not. What I'm saying is the word can be used in any way people want to use it. "

Sure a word can be used in different ways.

But it's sons and daughters who use the word to describe their father, more than anyone else and that is what I was getting at.

If you signed into an app and set age to under age, you would get creepy guys messaging with..

"hi sweety daddies here"

And all that crap. This is why it freaks me out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So my baby gets used to it and knows who his daddy is

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"This will be written on my gravestone... Although I'm getting cremated, not buried... But anyway

"stop giving the individual word the power, and instead focus on the context in which and for a word is used"

Good point. But we all know daddy = father.

And a word can't have two meanings?

As I stated above, gay also means merry, in fact it originally meant merry.

There are many more examples.

And "daddy" has been used by prostitutes since 1621 to refer to their pimp.

The Daddy is used for the relationship! It’s not incense, or any kind of dad and daughter play.

I know it's not. What I'm saying is the word can be used in any way people want to use it.

Sure a word can be used in different ways.

But it's sons and daughters who use the word to describe their father, more than anyone else and that is what I was getting at.

If you signed into an app and set age to under age, you would get creepy guys messaging with..

"hi sweety daddies here"

And all that crap. This is why it freaks me out. "

Well since it has clearly been sexualised for all the wrong reasons why don't we stop using it to refer to a parent? It's obviously forever tainted at this point and people are unable to separate the two so might as well find a new thing for kids to call their dads.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope not for me.

Daddy for me is a father, I cant even think of the term daddy for anything else and thats why I wont us it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This will be written on my gravestone... Although I'm getting cremated, not buried... But anyway

"stop giving the individual word the power, and instead focus on the context in which and for a word is used"

Good point. But we all know daddy = father.

And a word can't have two meanings?

As I stated above, gay also means merry, in fact it originally meant merry.

There are many more examples.

And "daddy" has been used by prostitutes since 1621 to refer to their pimp.

The Daddy is used for the relationship! It’s not incense, or any kind of dad and daughter play.

I know it's not. What I'm saying is the word can be used in any way people want to use it.

Sure a word can be used in different ways.

But it's sons and daughters who use the word to describe their father, more than anyone else and that is what I was getting at.

If you signed into an app and set age to under age, you would get creepy guys messaging with..

"hi sweety daddies here"

And all that crap. This is why it freaks me out.

Or find a different BDSM term instead of daddy?

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By *attb179Man
over a year ago

London

As has been mentioned, Daddy is used to mean a dom where the focus is more on care than control.

However I'm finding it's used by girls who know little about bdsm but feel it's what they should say. It's become the new buzzword.

Similar to many ladies online claiming to love spanking, impact play etc yet in reality they have no care for it but it's what everyone seems to be saying.

(Obviously there are millions who genuinly love impact play).

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"This will be written on my gravestone... Although I'm getting cremated, not buried... But anyway

"stop giving the individual word the power, and instead focus on the context in which and for a word is used"

Good point. But we all know daddy = father.

And a word can't have two meanings?

As I stated above, gay also means merry, in fact it originally meant merry.

There are many more examples.

And "daddy" has been used by prostitutes since 1621 to refer to their pimp.

The Daddy is used for the relationship! It’s not incense, or any kind of dad and daughter play.

I know it's not. What I'm saying is the word can be used in any way people want to use it.

Sure a word can be used in different ways.

But it's sons and daughters who use the word to describe their father, more than anyone else and that is what I was getting at.

If you signed into an app and set age to under age, you would get creepy guys messaging with..

"hi sweety daddies here"

And all that crap. This is why it freaks me out.

Or find a different BDSM term instead of daddy? "

Why though? It's been used since 1621, and it has been tainted and forever will be. You can't put it back in the box.

It is freely used outside of bdsm as sugar daddy. Face it, it's an almost 398 year old multi use word.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Although I do not like the term or what it suggests as my own personal opinion, the term and the definition of the term is used as an identifier for your profile or what your fetishes may be on several well known kink/bdsm websites, their are dedicated groups, meets, theme nights, events and panels specifically built around this particular dynamic and for those who identify as such. And considering most "wolf packs" (bdsm terminology again) have an alpha with several members commonly being referred to under this term when it comes to relationship identification, it has its place in that particular lifestyle and with a particular set of people.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"As has been mentioned, Daddy is used to mean a dom where the focus is more on care than control.

However I'm finding it's used by girls who know little about bdsm but feel it's what they should say. It's become the new buzzword.

Similar to many ladies online claiming to love spanking, impact play etc yet in reality they have no care for it but it's what everyone seems to be saying.

(Obviously there are millions who genuinly love impact play). "

This makes me think of women who request in their profiles to be only seeking men who are over a certain size. Yet the men in the profiles are all smaller

lol plastic people

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By *attb179Man
over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 14/11/19 01:51:18]

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By *attb179Man
over a year ago

London

"Although I do not like the term or what it suggests as my own personal opinion, the term and the definition of the term is used as an identifier for your profile or what your fetishes may be on several well known kink/bdsm websites, their are dedicated groups, meets, theme nights, events and panels specifically built around this particular dynamic and for those who identify as such. And considering most "wolf packs" (bdsm terminology again) have an alpha with several members commonly being referred to under this term when it comes to relationship identification, it has its place in that particular lifestyle and with a particular set of people.

I think a huge percentage of women using the term aren't aware of this, it's just something they think seems sexy to say.

I see you're Canadian ooof. Was there in August, loved it!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This will be written on my gravestone... Although I'm getting cremated, not buried... But anyway

"stop giving the individual word the power, and instead focus on the context in which and for a word is used"

Good point. But we all know daddy = father.

And a word can't have two meanings?

As I stated above, gay also means merry, in fact it originally meant merry.

There are many more examples.

And "daddy" has been used by prostitutes since 1621 to refer to their pimp.

The Daddy is used for the relationship! It’s not incense, or any kind of dad and daughter play.

I know it's not. What I'm saying is the word can be used in any way people want to use it.

Sure a word can be used in different ways.

But it's sons and daughters who use the word to describe their father, more than anyone else and that is what I was getting at.

If you signed into an app and set age to under age, you would get creepy guys messaging with..

"hi sweety daddies here"

And all that crap. This is why it freaks me out.

Or find a different BDSM term instead of daddy?

Why though? It's been used since 1621, and it has been tainted and forever will be. You can't put it back in the box.

It is freely used outside of bdsm as sugar daddy. Face it, it's an almost 398 year old multi use word. "

Why do you continue to talk about hundreds of years ago

it's almost 2020 now

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"This will be written on my gravestone... Although I'm getting cremated, not buried... But anyway

"stop giving the individual word the power, and instead focus on the context in which and for a word is used"

Good point. But we all know daddy = father.

And a word can't have two meanings?

As I stated above, gay also means merry, in fact it originally meant merry.

There are many more examples.

And "daddy" has been used by prostitutes since 1621 to refer to their pimp.

The Daddy is used for the relationship! It’s not incense, or any kind of dad and daughter play.

I know it's not. What I'm saying is the word can be used in any way people want to use it.

Sure a word can be used in different ways.

But it's sons and daughters who use the word to describe their father, more than anyone else and that is what I was getting at.

If you signed into an app and set age to under age, you would get creepy guys messaging with..

"hi sweety daddies here"

And all that crap. This is why it freaks me out.

Or find a different BDSM term instead of daddy?

Why though? It's been used since 1621, and it has been tainted and forever will be. You can't put it back in the box.

It is freely used outside of bdsm as sugar daddy. Face it, it's an almost 398 year old multi use word.

Why do you continue to talk about hundreds of years ago

it's almost 2020 now "

Evolution of a word. Are you unable to comprehend the complexity and dynamic journey that it has gone one to to reach the point of the discussion we are at, at this point in time?

Quick! Somebody find me Captain Picard. He is needed for a face palm.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think a huge percentage of women using the term aren't aware of this, it's just something they think seems sexy to say.

I see you're Canadian ooof. Was there in August, loved it!"

True

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Annie ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Annie ..."

Yeah, I've had that going round in my head.

So, we've established that some like it and some don't. So long as it's between consenting adults, it's really no one else's business.

Now, where's that Fabathon gone...?

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By *ittlesub4uWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

I like it. It describes a specific BDSM dynamic that doesn’t have anything to do with vanilla life relationship structures, DDlg.

Most of the terms used in BDSM have double meanings, a Dominant isn’t simply just dominant as the dictionary defines the word.

Don’t yuck other people’s yum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do women like to say this?

Aaamm...no!!

thanks...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do women like to say this?

Aaamm...no!!

thanks..."

I said this to my father as a child. It’s not something I have ever or would ever use sexually, because for me personally it has only one meaning - my father.

But as Kietonel has rightly pointed out (which I genuinely didn’t realise because the BDSM scene is of no interest to me), the word clearly has other uses which bear no relevance to the concept of a biological Dad. Interesting ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hold my hands up, yes I don't understand. Many people would say it sounds a bit pedoish?

I'm not labelling anyone a pedophile, but how do you know the intentions and background of someone who you meet online, who wants to be called daddy? "

I find it very creepy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do women like to say this?

Dont do it and never will.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

It’s not for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do women like to say this?

Creepy, and a bit dodgy on the part of the blokes who like to hear it.

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By *an_LexaCouple
over a year ago

Sunderland

Not all women do as is quite evident and those that do have their own reasons and they are varied.

It’s a term that’s used widely and has specific and special meaning to so many people in their own relationships.

Some will see it as a specific sugar daddy role and will exploit it in the eyes of others. To those within that relationship it’s usually a role they’ve chosen to follow.

Some will have DD/l relationships and that’s not always women although in the context of this post yes.

How far someone takes that role within age play and whether they even class it as a role at all or a natural way of being in their relationship varies hugely.

But the main premise being one person providing love, care, support, guidance, attention, nurturing etc and the other being someone who is prepared to hand that responsibility over, willing, wanting, trusting in that person.

Anyway most people involved as I say have their own definitions. If you’re not involved, haven’t been and have no interest, you can’t really understand so you oughtn’t judge without at least trying to find out more.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I see the kink shamers are out in force.

It’s not roleplay on a literal level, it’s a nickname, between consenting ADULTS. Sometimes sex IS just sex.

Why people on here have to always infer sinister meanings is beyond me.

If it’s not something you’re comfortable with then fine, but no need to shame those who induldge.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't agree with never. If the little doesn't want them to they never will but it depends on the little.

I understand what you are saying here but DD/lg dynamics are very different and very individual. IT very much depends on the agreed consents between both parties.

There is a fundamental different e between roleplay and reality. DD/lg roleplay/relationship dynamic is different to actual abuse and a criminal act, NCN roleplay is different to a criminal act, impact play is different to a criminal act.

Informed consent is the key and what works for some does not work for others.

To say DD/lg is wrong and disgusting is to say you are not open minded enough to accept that people enjoy different links and roleplays (within that framework of legality and informed consent).

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Why do women like to say this?

Because they want to, because some men like to hear it. Why do you care?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Why do women like to say this?

Creepy, and a bit dodgy on the part of the blokes who like to hear it.

What bollocks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/11/19 08:28:33]

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

I'd be more concerned if a guy wanted to say "mummy" to the woman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s not for me. "

Me neither.

I'm not into age play - I like spanking in the right circumstances though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Makes me cringe. You wouldn’t see me for dust if someone said that in a sexual way.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I'd be more concerned if a guy wanted to say "mummy" to the woman

Why? Not my kink personally but I don't see why it's more acceptable one way than the other.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I wouldn't agree with never. If the little doesn't want them to they never will but it depends on the little.

I understand what you are saying here but DD/lg dynamics are very different and very individual. IT very much depends on the agreed consents between both parties.

Informed consent is the key and what works for some does not work for others.

To say DD/lg is wrong and disgusting is to say you are not open minded enough to accept that people enjoy different links and roleplays (within that framework of legality and informed consent)."

I agree completely.

Informed consent is always the key.

I understand that for many people who don't understand the dynamics involved, that it can seem triggering with the use of certain words. The important thing to remember is that the dynamic isn't between a child and a father, it is a dynamic between two consenting adults. Let's not get the two mixed up.

Whilst it may not be to everyone's specific tastes, that's OK but deriding people for personally fulfilling dynamics is just nasty.

The old saying "your kink is not my kink but that's OK" fits here.

Ive found over the years that talking with people involved in different dynamics is enlightening and liberating. It's broadened my horizons. If we can't discuss different approaches to life and sex with open minds, then what's the point?

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

sheffield

It freaks me when a guy messages me and says “ you’ve a _uciyass Daddy “

Each to their own but that’s some freaky shite

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Oh and to clarify; I've had a relationship that used aspects of this dynamic in a day to day basis.

We never used the words but the nurturing and protective parts were very much there and recognised as being dd/lg in basis. It was an incredibly fulfilling relationship, based between two adults.

Rather than judging for the context of the words, perhaps people should identify why they're triggered by it and then look again

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"Why do women like to say this?

The question was why not if you like this kink. So far on this thread I've yet to see much interaction between those who do enjoy this kink and those who don't understand it. To me being open minded and wanting to understand and learn different people's approaches is an interesting part of the forum.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Makes me cringe. You wouldn’t see me for dust if someone said that in a sexual way. "

Is that because you're female...?

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Why do women like to say this?

Wanting to understand is the important part of your post. Often that's not the case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Makes me cringe. You wouldn’t see me for dust if someone said that in a sexual way.

Is that because you're female...? "

I also feel this way - not because I’m a woman, but because I associate this word with my biological father. I haven’t had exposure to the BDSM world though... so how I define this word and its connotations are vastly different to those who have.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"Why do women like to say this?

Wanting to understand is the important part of your post. Often that's not the case. "

It's far to easy to say what you don't like, for me personally I like to understand people's perspectives before forming an opinion

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Why do women like to say this?

I'm always open to questions but a lot of people just seem to want to tell me I'm sick and there's something wrong with me. Oh well, I don't let it stop me enjoying myself.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

It's creepy to me tbh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do women like to say this?

I'm always open to questions but a lot of people just seem to want to tell me I'm sick and there's something wrong with me. Oh well, I don't let it stop me enjoying myself."

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"Why do women like to say this?

I'm always open to questions but a lot of people just seem to want to tell me I'm sick and there's something wrong with me. Oh well, I don't let it stop me enjoying myself."

Yes I saw that on this post, nobody asked how your dynamic works and what it gives you. Nobody wanted to understand, and some have thrown quite vile stereotypes too. You come across as kick arse and knowledgeable on the forums, so saying that you are childlike in your daily life seems ridiculous

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"I see the kink shamers are out in force.

It’s not roleplay on a literal level, it’s a nickname, between consenting ADULTS. Sometimes sex IS just sex.

Why people on here have to always infer sinister meanings is beyond me.

If it’s not something you’re comfortable with then fine, but no need to shame those who induldge.

People were asked what they thought of it, they answered.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Makes me cringe. You wouldn’t see me for dust if someone said that in a sexual way.

Is that because you're female...?

I think that's part of the point though and something that has been stated several times on the thread; people get caught on the word and their personal connotations and associations.

It's important in many aspects to look beyond words used and what the dynamic actually is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Makes me cringe. You wouldn’t see me for dust if someone said that in a sexual way.

Is that because you're female...?

I think that's part of the point though and something that has been stated several times on the thread; people get caught on the word and their personal connotations and associations.

It's important in many aspects to look beyond words used and what the dynamic actually is.

Yes, it is. Which I’m able to do. I still have a personal instinctive response to it - because of my own associations with that word. But I’m equally able to step back and reflect on why and how others might define it differently.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Makes me cringe. You wouldn’t see me for dust if someone said that in a sexual way.

Is that because you're female...?

I think that's part of the point though and something that has been stated several times on the thread; people get caught on the word and their personal connotations and associations.

It's important in many aspects to look beyond words used and what the dynamic actually is.

That's all any of us can ask

. It's never going to be for everyone and I get why it makes some people uncomfortable, it's the attack on who we are as people that bothers me. Personally I'll never understand why someone would enjoy bukkakae as it's really not my cup of tea but I'm sure there's some lovely people around who enjoy it and more power to them I say

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By *eastAndTheHarlotCouple
over a year ago

Hartlepool

Because my dom is loving and caring and nurturing.

He let's me ignore all of the stress of being an adult. He keeps me safe and blocks me from life while I regain some energy. He brushed my hair while I snuggle up and relax. He gently pushes me to overcome lifes obstacles while providing all of the support and protection I need.

He nurtures me to be my best self.

He doesn't demand. He doesn't punish. He doesn't control. He is my biggest cheerleader.

I wouldn't be who I am today without daddy's help.

Maybe learn about ddlg, even just a quick Google will help you understand.

We tried other titles but nothing fits more. We ignored the stigma and judgement because he is daddy! He's my daddy and the bond between daddy and Little is amazing!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Makes me cringe. You wouldn’t see me for dust if someone said that in a sexual way.

Is that because you're female...?

I think that's part of the point though and something that has been stated several times on the thread; people get caught on the word and their personal connotations and associations.

It's important in many aspects to look beyond words used and what the dynamic actually is.

That's all any of us can ask

Enjoy what?? I don’t know this one.....

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

That's all any of us can ask

. It's never going to be for everyone and I get why it makes some people uncomfortable, it's the attack on who we are as people that bothers me. ."

That works both ways, it was said on the thread that people who are "triggered" by the word should look at themselves first as to why

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"Because my dom is loving and caring and nurturing.

He nurtures me to be my best self.

He doesn't demand. He doesn't punish. He doesn't control. He is my biggest cheerleader.

I wouldn't be who I am today without daddy's help.

Maybe learn about ddlg, even just a quick Google will help you understand.

We tried other titles but nothing fits more. We ignored the stigma and judgement because he is daddy! He's my daddy and the bond between daddy and Little is amazing! "

That is absolutely beautifully written, thanks for sharing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally like it.

With my last partner, I called him bear and he called me bunny. I'd just like to point out that he wasnt a bear and I'm not a bunny.

Wheres the difference? It's a word and a dynamic.

It's the same as a guy who likes to use derogatory terms for women. Slut, whore etc. Some women love it but I hate it. For me it has connotations I cant get past. I'd never belittle anyone who enjoys it though.

Get over it. Its here to stay and wont change. Dont take part if it's not for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because my dom is loving and caring and nurturing.

He nurtures me to be my best self.

He doesn't demand. He doesn't punish. He doesn't control. He is my biggest cheerleader.

I wouldn't be who I am today without daddy's help.

Maybe learn about ddlg, even just a quick Google will help you understand.

We tried other titles but nothing fits more. We ignored the stigma and judgement because he is daddy! He's my daddy and the bond between daddy and Little is amazing! "

This entire description could apply to how I feel towards my partner. The only difference being I have never and would never use the phrase ‘daddy’ to describe him- but everything else fits. So to me, what you’ve described reflects a supportive and loving relationship that could be any relationship, really. Just shows how the words we use are just that - words. The content of the relationship and what it means to us is *so* much more important.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Because my dom is loving and caring and nurturing.

He nurtures me to be my best self.

He doesn't demand. He doesn't punish. He doesn't control. He is my biggest cheerleader.

I wouldn't be who I am today without daddy's help.

Maybe learn about ddlg, even just a quick Google will help you understand.

We tried other titles but nothing fits more. We ignored the stigma and judgement because he is daddy! He's my daddy and the bond between daddy and Little is amazing!

That is absolutely beautifully written, thanks for sharing "

You see I thought the total opposite.I thought this sounded like a parent and child relationship. Now yes after reading the thread maybe that's what it is all about, but it really didn't sound healthy to me

( disclaimer, not saying anyone can't do it as consenting adults, just adding my thoughts )

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Why do women like to say this?

I'm always open to questions but a lot of people just seem to want to tell me I'm sick and there's something wrong with me. Oh well, I don't let it stop me enjoying myself.

Thank you very much. Haha yes, I'm a grown ass woman. Apart from when I'm alone with my Daddy. He's like my safe place to not have to be a grown up. Plus mock innocence is pretty hot. I see a lot of elements from the dynamic in other people's relationships. Most people enjoy being looked after and escaping from the realities of adulthood sometimes. I guess it is just an exaggeration of that in many ways.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

That's all any of us can ask

. It's never going to be for everyone and I get why it makes some people uncomfortable, it's the attack on who we are as people that bothers me. .

That works both ways, it was said on the thread that people who are "triggered" by the word should look at themselves first as to why"

Yes, I wrote that.

People who react with anger, dismissal and personal attacks regarding the use of a word could definitely be seen as being provoked or triggered by that word.

I'm saying that they should look at their personal associations, connotations and work out why that provokes that reaction, rather than being nasty about things they don't actually grasp.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

That's all any of us can ask

. It's never going to be for everyone and I get why it makes some people uncomfortable, it's the attack on who we are as people that bothers me. .

That works both ways, it was said on the thread that people who are "triggered" by the word should look at themselves first as to why"

I'm not sure I understand what you mean.

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By *edoriartyCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough

It's one word, different people use it between themselves for different reasons and with different meanings and connotations.

Not recognising that and shaming them because that word has a particular meaning or context to you seems quite small minded.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's the dynamic that we have too. From the outside (and shamefully we thought the same for years) it has a very paedophilic taint to it. But once we researched what it was actually about it was very desirable to us.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

That's all any of us can ask

. It's never going to be for everyone and I get why it makes some people uncomfortable, it's the attack on who we are as people that bothers me. .

That works both ways, it was said on the thread that people who are "triggered" by the word should look at themselves first as to why

Yes, I wrote that.

People who react with anger, dismissal and personal attacks regarding the use of a word could definitely be seen as being provoked or triggered by that word.

I'm saying that they should look at their personal associations, connotations and work out why that provokes that reaction, rather than being nasty about things they don't actually grasp. "

There are no "personal" attacks. There are thoughts of what people generally think of it, if you take that personally then that isn't their problem surely.

So just to be clear, the people ho you say can't grasp/ don't understand or think no, that isn't for me have issues with their life that needs looking at ?

If so you are doing what you are objecting to in your post

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because my dom is loving and caring and nurturing.

He nurtures me to be my best self.

He doesn't demand. He doesn't punish. He doesn't control. He is my biggest cheerleader.

I wouldn't be who I am today without daddy's help.

Maybe learn about ddlg, even just a quick Google will help you understand.

We tried other titles but nothing fits more. We ignored the stigma and judgement because he is daddy! He's my daddy and the bond between daddy and Little is amazing! "

This is so beautiful. You guys are so very lucky

I find it funny that on a site like this, where many people from outside would judge the lifestyle, that people can be so judgemental about adult choices.

I have used the term 'Daddy' but only for very particularly people and in a specific context. The DD connection is very different from any other relationship I've encountered and the word fits. Not in a 'father' way, but as a caregiver and nurture.

Also it's fucking filthy and I find transgression really turns me on.

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By *eastAndTheHarlotCouple
over a year ago

Hartlepool

" You see I thought the total opposite.I thought this sounded like a parent and child relationship. Now yes after reading the thread maybe that's what it is all about, but it really didn't sound healthy to me

( disclaimer, not saying anyone can't do it as consenting adults, just adding my thoughts )

It's been so healthy for us. I used to have serious anxiety that would impact daily tasks. Beast eased me through it all and he's been better than any therapy or meds. I can do things now that I never thought possible and it's all because he gave me the time, reassurance and support I needed. It goes way beyond the usual spouse duties. He never gives up on me, he's never disappointed.

The daddy part is just a word. People call other people baby but we don't think they actually want/see a 1 year old? It's just a word.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"Why do women like to say this?

I'm always open to questions but a lot of people just seem to want to tell me I'm sick and there's something wrong with me. Oh well, I don't let it stop me enjoying myself.

We all love getting away from the realities of adulthood. Not done so since having kids, but as an adult I've had sleepovers with my girlie mates and we've all reverted to our teenage selves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Makes me cringe. You wouldn’t see me for dust if someone said that in a sexual way.

Is that because you're female...? "

I have no idea. I’ve never been male so can’t answer. My dad is my dad and to use that word sexually to me is strange. To me that is. Others can do what they like. But no i wouldn’t be interested in someone who used that word sexually. Not sure why you’re all getting so defensive. People are giving opinions not saying other people can’t do it. Perhaps bare in mind that when people ask for opinions and views and others disagree it doesn’t mean they’re attacking, judging or kink shaming.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

That's all any of us can ask

. It's never going to be for everyone and I get why it makes some people uncomfortable, it's the attack on who we are as people that bothers me. .

That works both ways, it was said on the thread that people who are "triggered" by the word should look at themselves first as to why

Yes, I wrote that.

People who react with anger, dismissal and personal attacks regarding the use of a word could definitely be seen as being provoked or triggered by that word.

I'm saying that they should look at their personal associations, connotations and work out why that provokes that reaction, rather than being nasty about things they don't actually grasp.

There are no "personal" attacks. There are thoughts of what people generally think of it, if you take that personally then that isn't their problem surely.

So just to be clear, the people ho you say can't grasp/ don't understand or think no, that isn't for me have issues with their life that needs looking at ?

If so you are doing what you are objecting to in your post"

You yourself have called someone else's specific relationship unhealthy. That wasn't a general thought about the dynamic, that was personal and in my opinion unfair.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's all any of us can ask

. It's never going to be for everyone and I get why it makes some people uncomfortable, it's the attack on who we are as people that bothers me. .

That works both ways, it was said on the thread that people who are "triggered" by the word should look at themselves first as to why

Yes, I wrote that.

People who react with anger, dismissal and personal attacks regarding the use of a word could definitely be seen as being provoked or triggered by that word.

I'm saying that they should look at their personal associations, connotations and work out why that provokes that reaction, rather than being nasty about things they don't actually grasp. "

I don't think you've made your point very well.

You've dismissed other people's personal connotations of the word "daddy". Personal is personal.

These forums help others see things from other people's point of view.

Dismissing them from the outset gets peoples backs up rather than prompting a conversation which leads to better understanding.

I'm into the BDSM side of sex.

DD/lg isn't a part of that for me. Not because of the word, but because that side isn't for me. For some, it is the word.

But dismissing others personal feelings and meanings of the word haven't opened up a discussion on what the word means to those who use it and/or in a DD/lg type relationship. (Apart from a couple of people).

You can't on one hand say, you don't understand why people use it, so it's your fault and have a look at yourself; then on the other hand tell those who do use it that everyone else is ignorant!

Help other understand why the word Daddy is used. That will help those who have bad feelings about the word, understand that it's not all bad in the world of BDSM or DD/lg.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

That's all any of us can ask

. It's never going to be for everyone and I get why it makes some people uncomfortable, it's the attack on who we are as people that bothers me. .

That works both ways, it was said on the thread that people who are "triggered" by the word should look at themselves first as to why

Yes, I wrote that.

People who react with anger, dismissal and personal attacks regarding the use of a word could definitely be seen as being provoked or triggered by that word.

I'm saying that they should look at their personal associations, connotations and work out why that provokes that reaction, rather than being nasty about things they don't actually grasp.

There are no "personal" attacks. There are thoughts of what people generally think of it, if you take that personally then that isn't their problem surely.

So just to be clear, the people ho you say can't grasp/ don't understand or think no, that isn't for me have issues with their life that needs looking at ?

If so you are doing what you are objecting to in your post"

I read the ones saying its association with paedophilia or that it's disgusting as a bit personal on those that enjoy this dynamic. But maybe that's just me

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Why do women like to say this?

I'm always open to questions but a lot of people just seem to want to tell me I'm sick and there's something wrong with me. Oh well, I don't let it stop me enjoying myself.

We all love getting away from the realities of adulthood. Not done so since having kids, but as an adult I've had sleepovers with my girlie mates and we've all reverted to our teenage selves. "

Haha yes that does seem to happen when a group of women get together in a casual environment. Sleepovers seem to be frozen in time and play out very similar no matter your age!

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By *hilledout-coupleCouple
over a year ago

telford

Not for me ewe

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

( disclaimer, not saying anyone can't do it as consenting adults, just adding my thoughts )

The daddy part is just a word. People call other people baby but we don't think they actually want/see a 1 year old? It's just a word. "

As I said what adults do with their kinks is entirely up to them, if you enjoy it then all well and good

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

That's all any of us can ask

. It's never going to be for everyone and I get why it makes some people uncomfortable, it's the attack on who we are as people that bothers me. .

That works both ways, it was said on the thread that people who are "triggered" by the word should look at themselves first as to why

Yes, I wrote that.

People who react with anger, dismissal and personal attacks regarding the use of a word could definitely be seen as being provoked or triggered by that word.

I'm saying that they should look at their personal associations, connotations and work out why that provokes that reaction, rather than being nasty about things they don't actually grasp.

I don't think you've made your point very well.

You've dismissed other people's personal connotations of the word "daddy". Personal is personal.

These forums help others see things from other people's point of view.

Dismissing them from the outset gets peoples backs up rather than prompting a conversation which leads to better understanding.

I'm into the BDSM side of sex.

DD/lg isn't a part of that for me. Not because of the word, but because that side isn't for me. For some, it is the word.

You can't on one hand say, you don't understand why people use it, so it's your fault and have a look at yourself; then on the other hand tell those who do use it that everyone else is ignorant!

Help other understand why the word Daddy is used. That will help those who have bad feelings about the word, understand that it's not all bad in the world of BDSM or DD/lg. "

I personally try to help others understand but often the reaction you get when anyone tries to discuss it very quickly shuts down the conversation. It can be difficult to open yourself up when people are calling you/your partner creepy or a paedophile.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Any use of the word paedophilia is more than just shaming people. That word has such strong conntitations of illegal behaviour and a gut instinct for repulsion.

From what I've read from the few who have written who have knowledge on the subject this couldn't be further from the truth

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

You yourself have called someone else's specific relationship unhealthy. That wasn't a general thought about the dynamic, that was personal and in my opinion unfair."

The description of the scenario is unhealthy for me, be that for that post or the many other posts describing the same thing.

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By *eastAndTheHarlotCouple
over a year ago

Hartlepool

( disclaimer, not saying anyone can't do it as consenting adults, just adding my thoughts )

The daddy part is just a word. People call other people baby but we don't think they actually want/see a 1 year old? It's just a word.

As I said what adults do with their kinks is entirely up to them, if you enjoy it then all well and good

Yet you called our relationship unhealthy.

There's lots of kinks and fetishes we aren't into or don't understand.. and that's fine. We wouldn't go around telling people their relationship sounds unhealthy.

It's rude.

-Beast

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

That's all any of us can ask

. It's never going to be for everyone and I get why it makes some people uncomfortable, it's the attack on who we are as people that bothers me. .

That works both ways, it was said on the thread that people who are "triggered" by the word should look at themselves first as to why

Yes, I wrote that.

People who react with anger, dismissal and personal attacks regarding the use of a word could definitely be seen as being provoked or triggered by that word.

I'm saying that they should look at their personal associations, connotations and work out why that provokes that reaction, rather than being nasty about things they don't actually grasp.

I don't think you've made your point very well.

You've dismissed other people's personal connotations of the word "daddy". Personal is personal.

These forums help others see things from other people's point of view.

Dismissing them from the outset gets peoples backs up rather than prompting a conversation which leads to better understanding.

I'm into the BDSM side of sex.

DD/lg isn't a part of that for me. Not because of the word, but because that side isn't for me. For some, it is the word.

You can't on one hand say, you don't understand why people use it, so it's your fault and have a look at yourself; then on the other hand tell those who do use it that everyone else is ignorant!

Help other understand why the word Daddy is used. That will help those who have bad feelings about the word, understand that it's not all bad in the world of BDSM or DD/lg. "

I think you've taken my words and added a whole level of things to that.

Perhaps I was abrupt in my wording, I certainly wasn't dismissing people's personal connotations but I think it's important that we're *all* self aware enough to know why we react to certain things in certain ways. Being able to identify that is important in understanding others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not all women do as is quite evident and those that do have their own reasons and they are varied.

It’s a term that’s used widely and has specific and special meaning to so many people in their own relationships.

Some will see it as a specific sugar daddy role and will exploit it in the eyes of others. To those within that relationship it’s usually a role they’ve chosen to follow.

Some will have DD/l relationships and that’s not always women although in the context of this post yes.

How far someone takes that role within age play and whether they even class it as a role at all or a natural way of being in their relationship varies hugely.

That!

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Any use of the word paedophilia is more than just shaming people. That word has such strong conntitations of illegal behaviour and a gut instinct for repulsion.

From what I've read from the few who have written who have knowledge on the subject this couldn't be further from the truth "

Paedophilia is abhorrent and quite rightly illegal. However I am a 27 year old woman, not a child and it is me he is having sex with. He is also only 34 so it's not even an age thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I see the kink shamers are out in force.

It’s not roleplay on a literal level, it’s a nickname, between consenting ADULTS. Sometimes sex IS just sex.

Why people on here have to always infer sinister meanings is beyond me.

If it’s not something you’re comfortable with then fine, but no need to shame those who induldge.

And that too!

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"Any use of the word paedophilia is more than just shaming people. That word has such strong conntitations of illegal behaviour and a gut instinct for repulsion.

From what I've read from the few who have written who have knowledge on the subject this couldn't be further from the truth

Paedophilia is abhorrent and quite rightly illegal. However I am a 27 year old woman, not a child and it is me he is having sex with. He is also only 34 so it's not even an age thing."

Exactly so I don't see why this word is being used on this thread whatsoever. There is kink shaming going on on this thread and I for one don't like it

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

That's all any of us can ask

. It's never going to be for everyone and I get why it makes some people uncomfortable, it's the attack on who we are as people that bothers me. .

That works both ways, it was said on the thread that people who are "triggered" by the word should look at themselves first as to why

Yes, I wrote that.

People who react with anger, dismissal and personal attacks regarding the use of a word could definitely be seen as being provoked or triggered by that word.

I'm saying that they should look at their personal associations, connotations and work out why that provokes that reaction, rather than being nasty about things they don't actually grasp.

There are no "personal" attacks. There are thoughts of what people generally think of it, if you take that personally then that isn't their problem surely.

So just to be clear, the people ho you say can't grasp/ don't understand or think no, that isn't for me have issues with their life that needs looking at ?

If so you are doing what you are objecting to in your post

I read the ones saying its association with paedophilia or that it's disgusting as a bit personal on those that enjoy this dynamic. But maybe that's just me "

To be fair they were not aimed at you, you took them personally. You will know you are not so others opinions shouldn't matter.

Surely with this kink you will hear this a lot as to what people think of it? There has been many threads over the years with the same sort of comments.

Yes, maybe they can't get their head around the kink because it is just a big turn off for them because of the association with the word but that could be dealt with by explaining why which might enlighten people instead

We can't all get each others kinks, some people wouldn't get mine either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Any use of the word paedophilia is more than just shaming people. That word has such strong conntitations of illegal behaviour and a gut instinct for repulsion.

From what I've read from the few who have written who have knowledge on the subject this couldn't be further from the truth

Paedophilia is abhorrent and quite rightly illegal. However I am a 27 year old woman, not a child and it is me he is having sex with. He is also only 34 so it's not even an age thing.

Exactly so I don't see why this word is being used on this thread whatsoever. There is kink shaming going on on this thread and I for one don't like it "

Ditto.

Assumptions being made about things people refuse to even research a tiny bit.

No real excuses about that with Google in the world!

But I doff my cap to those engaging in adult conversation and trying to see it from others point of view. Especially when the word has bad/strange meanings to them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lady called me daddy and she’s actually older than me, so certainly not an age thing. It’s our dynamic, our relationship. You may not understand it and neither are you required to. But don’t judge it.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

( disclaimer, not saying anyone can't do it as consenting adults, just adding my thoughts )

The daddy part is just a word. People call other people baby but we don't think they actually want/see a 1 year old? It's just a word.

As I said what adults do with their kinks is entirely up to them, if you enjoy it then all well and good

Yet you called our relationship unhealthy.

There's lots of kinks and fetishes we aren't into or don't understand.. and that's fine. We wouldn't go around telling people their relationship sounds unhealthy.

It's rude.

-Beast"

I did say that yes I picked another persons post to quote who had quoted you. The scenario that you (and others have posted ) isn't healthy for me. It doesn't mean I think consenting adults can't do it. That is up to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hold my hands up, yes I don't understand. Many people would say it sounds a bit pedoish?

I'm not labelling anyone a pedophile, but how do you know the intentions and background of someone who you meet online, who wants to be called daddy?

how do you know the intention and background of anyone you meet online?? Anyone could be a psycho, rapist, sexual predator, sex pest, sex addict.. How do you choose who to avoid?

I don't know that. If you find out, please let me know.

However I chatted with a woman who liked the daddy thing and after a long conversation, she eventually told me that she was abused by her father.

She may like the dynamic as she'd be in control, as a child, not so.

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By *hatMinxOverThereWoman
over a year ago

42 Wallaby Way

I love it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This will be written on my gravestone... Although I'm getting cremated, not buried... But anyway

"stop giving the individual word the power, and instead focus on the context in which and for a word is used" "

Oooh I like this. Context is everything.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

That's all any of us can ask

. It's never going to be for everyone and I get why it makes some people uncomfortable, it's the attack on who we are as people that bothers me. .

That works both ways, it was said on the thread that people who are "triggered" by the word should look at themselves first as to why

Yes, I wrote that.

People who react with anger, dismissal and personal attacks regarding the use of a word could definitely be seen as being provoked or triggered by that word.

I'm saying that they should look at their personal associations, connotations and work out why that provokes that reaction, rather than being nasty about things they don't actually grasp.

There are no "personal" attacks. There are thoughts of what people generally think of it, if you take that personally then that isn't their problem surely.

So just to be clear, the people ho you say can't grasp/ don't understand or think no, that isn't for me have issues with their life that needs looking at ?

If so you are doing what you are objecting to in your post

I read the ones saying its association with paedophilia or that it's disgusting as a bit personal on those that enjoy this dynamic. But maybe that's just me

To be fair they were not aimed at you, you took them personally. You will know you are not so others opinions shouldn't matter.

Surely with this kink you will hear this a lot as to what people think of it? There has been many threads over the years with the same sort of comments.

We can't all get each others kinks, some people wouldn't get mine either

I agree that we can't all get each others kinks. I used the phrase "your kink isn't my kink but that's OK" earlier in the thread. I also don't think anyone should ever use the term 'unhealthy' in reference to anyone's kink.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't agree with never. If the little doesn't want them to they never will but it depends on the little.

Relations vary even in the world of BDSM - they don't follow a rule book, instead tweak the stereotypes to what is consensual between them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a Daddy

. I only call him Daddy though. He makes me feel small and cute and safe."

This

I have a Daddy too, its a roleplay/dom sub relationship usually.

To me a Daddy invokes feelings of warmth, protection, strength, humour, discipline when needed,undivided attention, nurture, stability and support.

A baby girl/princess/little one invokes feelings of joy, fun, silliness, playfulness, warmth, affection, beauty, awe, excitement and curiosity.

I get that alot of people don't understand or approve of it but I there are kinks that make me shudder or I can't wrap my head around so we're all in the same boat, each to their own

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By *eastAndTheHarlotCouple
over a year ago

Hartlepool

That's all any of us can ask

. It's never going to be for everyone and I get why it makes some people uncomfortable, it's the attack on who we are as people that bothers me. .

That works both ways, it was said on the thread that people who are "triggered" by the word should look at themselves first as to why

Yes, I wrote that.

People who react with anger, dismissal and personal attacks regarding the use of a word could definitely be seen as being provoked or triggered by that word.

I'm saying that they should look at their personal associations, connotations and work out why that provokes that reaction, rather than being nasty about things they don't actually grasp.

There are no "personal" attacks. There are thoughts of what people generally think of it, if you take that personally then that isn't their problem surely.

So just to be clear, the people ho you say can't grasp/ don't understand or think no, that isn't for me have issues with their life that needs looking at ?

If so you are doing what you are objecting to in your post

I read the ones saying its association with paedophilia or that it's disgusting as a bit personal on those that enjoy this dynamic. But maybe that's just me

To be fair they were not aimed at you, you took them personally. You will know you are not so others opinions shouldn't matter.

Surely with this kink you will hear this a lot as to what people think of it? There has been many threads over the years with the same sort of comments.

We can't all get each others kinks, some people wouldn't get mine either

My issue is that the person called our relationship unhealthy. Not just the link.

You're exactly right. That phrase is exactly how we view others kinks.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Words mean different things to different people. What goes on or is said by two people in their relationship is between them and no one should judge another because they dislike something someone else does but they don’t.

If it’s not for you fine, but let a healthy discussion take place and people explain why it works for them, if they choose, without being jumped on by those that don’t understand or like something.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is that not a sugar daddy

If she's earning the money, definitely not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So OP, a deliberately contentious thread for a sex / swingers site ? Do you understand the BDSM dynamic of DD/LG a little better?

For anyone not in the BDSM scene I can understand how the dynamic can be misunderstood...but google is a great resource to gain understanding.. There are plenty of things i won't do, but i try to understand why others may find them appealing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is that not a sugar daddy

Oh I stand corrected via historic use.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To anyone who does think that this dynamic is unhealthy, just do a bit of reading up on it. To be fair to the people outside of the lifestyle it can seems that way. But I always thought growing up that swinging was an option that you took when the marriage was failing. Its a wrong judgement backed up by stigmas

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"We can't all get each others kinks, some people wouldn't get mine either

You are correct and fine. Nobody defending the kink/dynamic/lifestyle is saying people can't dislike it. What they are saying is why does somebody disliking it have to quite often go hand in hand with shaming?

"I don't like it, it is not for me"

Is very different to

I don't like it, it's not for me as I find it vile and disgusting"

They are doing the same thing and agreeing, however the latter is straight up shaming and is added for that sole purpose, only then gets hidden behind "that's my opinion". It's not necessary to add, other than slipping a dig in at a person.

Its not even about not offending people, it's just about being understanding.

There are many ways you can actually espress your feelings about it without being hostile and shaming them for something they like. Just because you can be rude and hostile, does not you have to be.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As has been mentioned, Daddy is used to mean a dom where the focus is more on care than control.

However I'm finding it's used by girls who know little about bdsm but feel it's what they should say. It's become the new buzzword.

Similar to many ladies online claiming to love spanking, impact play etc yet in reality they have no care for it but it's what everyone seems to be saying.

(Obviously there are millions who genuinly love impact play). "

I'm saying nothing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So OP, a deliberately contentious thread for a sex / swingers site ? Do you understand the BDSM dynamic of DD/LG a little better?

This right here!

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"We can't all get each others kinks, some people wouldn't get mine either

"I don't like it, it is not for me"

Is very different to

I don't like it, it's not for me as I find it vile and disgusting"

Its not even about not offending people, it's just about being understanding.

There are many ways you can actually espress your feelings about it without being hostile and shaming them for something they like. Just because you can be rude and hostile, does not you have to be."

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I see the kink shamers are out in force.

It’s not roleplay on a literal level, it’s a nickname, between consenting ADULTS. Sometimes sex IS just sex.

Why people on here have to always infer sinister meanings is beyond me.

If it’s not something you’re comfortable with then fine, but no need to shame those who induldge.

I see it as the majority of people wanting to learn about it.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd be more concerned if a guy wanted to say "mummy" to the woman

Egyptian

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"I see the kink shamers are out in force.

It’s not roleplay on a literal level, it’s a nickname, between consenting ADULTS. Sometimes sex IS just sex.

Why people on here have to always infer sinister meanings is beyond me.

If it’s not something you’re comfortable with then fine, but no need to shame those who induldge.

I see it as the majority of people wanting to learn about it. "

Generally you will find those that blatantly shame have no interest in learning about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do women like to say this?

Because they're weirdos

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By *ootleCouple
over a year ago

Romford, Essex

This is obviously a personal preference thing , and people in certain lifestyles are very protective of the term.

Recently at a club we were having a very nice time in a threesome and the guy (who I was giving oral to) said "youre a good little girl - suck daddies cock"...….That was it, I stopped !

I'm not a little girl and I definitely don't want the thought of sucking daddies cock in my head while I'm giving oral.

To me Daddy is just that - to others its something else - vive la difference

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"So OP, a deliberately contentious thread for a sex / swingers site ? Do you understand the BDSM dynamic of DD/LG a little better?

Does feel he wanted to express his dislike for the term rather than genuinely asking why women like using the word

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By *ent and bratCouple
over a year ago

here there everywhere

Love it

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do women like to say this?

I'm always open to questions but a lot of people just seem to want to tell me I'm sick and there's something wrong with me. Oh well, I don't let it stop me enjoying myself."

Good for you.

I like things that are taboo (not illegal). It probably stems from rebelling, ie I was such a good girl as a child. Now, when I'm called a good girl, it has very different connotations.

I'm not a lg but I'm not averse to trying it out. I do so love the care/protect/nurture aspect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We can't all get each others kinks, some people wouldn't get mine either

"I don't like it, it is not for me"

Is very different to

I don't like it, it's not for me as I find it vile and disgusting"

Its not even about not offending people, it's just about being understanding.

There are many ways you can actually espress your feelings about it without being hostile and shaming them for something they like. Just because you can be rude and hostile, does not you have to be.

Quite right and echoes things I’ve said a number of times on other threads, but always seems to fall on deaf ears. You can express disagreement or dislike in respectful ways, but few people on here are or willing to do so. It’s a shame in a forum amongst adults. But it is what it is, unfortunately.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

To be fair they were not aimed at you, you took them personally. You will know you are not so others opinions shouldn't matter.

Surely with this kink you will hear this a lot as to what people think of it? There has been many threads over the years with the same sort of comments.

We can't all get each others kinks, some people wouldn't get mine either

How about what else I brought up rather than jumping on something else that has been answered already

Serious questions to understand, do people into this type of play see this all the time when it gets brought up? I know it happens on here but I was more asking do you see it elsewhere too? If so is there a better way to deal with it so that it may be understood better?

Some of what has been said on the subject over the years has slightly changed my view on it and as much as you can google anything you like it isn't the same as people who are into it explaining it better.

A totally different scenario on another site was a prime example...a woman who had a sex change started a thread once to answer any question posed because people didn't understand her situation. She answered every question, even the really really tough ones with totally honesty. You would be surprised at how it was received and how people who had a very extreme view of Transgender women changed their outlook. She was a very popular member after that too

An bigger insight into something that isn't your own kink could get the same reaction

Just a thought

(closed, thread got too big)

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