FabSwingers.com forum: Welcome to the spectrum.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Lets do it... welcome to the spectrum.

Im autistic.. i said it.

To be specific im a high functioning aspi... (aspergers for those that dont know) and it may make these type of interactions difficult at first however its beyond useful after you get to know me.. logically driven, have to figure out how things work, and always need to finish what I start. Just some of the byproducts of my situation.

Anyone else either on the spectrum or have experiences with?

For those shy about it hello and welcome. I for one would be happy to see you in this thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love this. I think there are a few people here. I often pick it up by the way they interact on the forums and have also seen a bit of bullying over the way things are said etc. I have a child on the spectrum so I recognise it but a lot don’t. Good on you for this thread

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Love this. I think there are a few people here. I often pick it up by the way they interact on the forums and have also seen a bit of bullying over the way things are said etc. I have a child on the spectrum so I recognise it but a lot don’t. Good on you for this thread

Well i couldn't see a thread about it so i thought id lead the charge. And hopefully answer any questions people have.

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By *adeiteWoman
over a year ago

Stafford

I fall somewhere within the bell curve, but then again I believe everyone does.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I fall somewhere within the bell curve, but then again I believe everyone does. "

Apparently so but i wanted to let people with official diagnosis know there are others here so they could relax a little. Its kinda for me also.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My nephew has also been diagnosed high functioning on the autistic spectrum and that plus dealing with a number of others who are also on the spectrum, has given me a new understanding of the various ways it can manifest itself.

There are a number of people on here also on the spectrum, a few of them I am fortunate enough to count as friends.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My nephew has also been diagnosed high functioning on the autistic spectrum and that plus dealing with a number of others who are also on the spectrum, has given me a new understanding of the various ways it can manifest itself.

There are a number of people on here also on the spectrum, a few of them I am fortunate enough to count as friends.

To be honest until you have to deal with it or know someone affected you really do have no idea. Friends and family are forever offering me advice and saying you shouldn’t let them do this or you should do it this way. It now goes totally over my head, it’s not even worth discussing with people who have no experience of it as they really do not have a clue, so I don’t bother anymore. I’ll ashamedly admit that maybe 15 years ago I was that person saying “why can’t she control her child” and “well they never had all that in my day it was just a naughty kid”. I am a totally different person to who I was then in so many ways and am embarrassed at my ignorance. I just wish more people would see it for what it actually is as it’s absolutely awful for the parent when people shake their heads and make comments.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This spans all the way into adulthood unfortunately. People forget that its not an illnesses its a disposition. And its not just kids who ARE on the spectrum.

Its not something we suffer from.. its not a shame..

I look at it personally like skin colour. Just a different shade of human.

But i digress this is about being welcoming so no judgement here. Just a place to say Hello and someone else who understands in this little community of acceptance we are trying to create.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are a number of people on here also on the spectrum, a few of them I am fortunate enough to count as friends.

I’m embarrassed to say I was like that before I understood too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This spans all the way into adulthood unfortunately. People forget that its not an illnesses its a disposition. And its not just kids who ARE on the spectrum.

Its not something we suffer from.. its not a shame..

I look at it personally like skin colour. Just a different shade of human.

But i digress this is about being welcoming so no judgement here. Just a place to say Hello and someone else who understands in this little community of acceptance we are trying to create.

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

sheffield

My son has Aspergers and is quite high risk on the spectrum, he’s 22 now and if I’m honest he’s actually got worse as he is ignoring the advice and support we try to give him, alongside violent outbursts , periods of depression and risk of injury to himself , it’s a difficult time for him and me , so OP I commend you for coming straight out with the honesty. The whole Asperger thing is handled very badly by the powers that be. I remember when he was 9 and finially diagnosed after years of us knowing , we were handed a leaflet and told deal with it. His school years were trying for all involved and whenever an incident happened in school we’d receive the call to come get him. Yes he received special classes in school to help him along with his leaving cert or your GCSE but I still felt thier could have been more support

He technically minded at the highest level but like you has problems with numbers and letters but we still pushed him to college to a higher level course. He choose to be an arborist. Imagine our fear , him with a chainsaw! Well he passed his exams and received his qualification and is doing some work and he loves it but he still has those moments everyday , if it’s not a door in the house it’s a tree in the garden that gets it

OP. All I can say is be yourself. You’ve taken a big step especially into this group and I for once in my life will be serious and welcome you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am on the spectrum.

I don't say "high functioning"

Because that's abit immaculate..

I am less autistic than Albert einstine or rayman (card counting)

Some of the folk who lick Windows have special genious tallents that I can't compair to.

I've done abit of care work and volunteering.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I am on the spectrum.

I don't say "high functioning"

Because that's abit immaculate..

I am less autistic than Albert einstine or rayman (card counting)

Some of the folk who lick Windows have special genious tallents that I can't compair to.

I've done abit of care work and volunteering."

How ever you identify it welcome. Whats your "special interests?" Just out of curiosity if any? Do you ever get hyper focused also?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is no

"Asperger" diagnosis anymore

Or a "high functioning" label

The neurologists don't class it like that anymore...

Autism is give and take.

Feeling lonely/empathy isn't nice for neurotypical people...

They miss out on logic/morrals

All in all I am indifferent to having this kind of autism.

I don't feel bad about it because I like the focus I have and attention to detail in the things I do.

I don't like having panic attacks/mealtdowns/depression/anxiety/sensory overload

I can reduce those feelings manually. I've done the necessary research on managing those symptoms.

You should listern to "Jordan Peterson autism"...

People have mentioned "a cure for autism" but I wouldn't want mine to be cured.

There's lots of scientists and doctors who wouldn't be where they are without autistic traits.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am on the spectrum.

I don't say "high functioning"

Because that's abit immaculate..

I am less autistic than Albert einstine or rayman (card counting)

Some of the folk who lick Windows have special genious tallents that I can't compair to.

I've done abit of care work and volunteering.

How ever you identify it welcome. Whats your "special interests?" Just out of curiosity if any? Do you ever get hyper focused also?"

I've got shit special interests.

It's all geopolitics and history.

When I was a kid I liked organizing toy soldiers/corinthians in neat rows/formations and fighter jets.

I do have hobbies and fitness/sport

Autistics do well at swimming because nobody else wants to spend hours alone going up and down under water.

I like jogging.

Gaining exp on final fantasy

Uniquely I've been able to travel far away on my own from an early age. I've always been wondering off places further than my peers.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There is no

"Asperger" diagnosis anymore

Or a "high functioning" label

The neurologists don't class it like that anymore...

Autism is give and take.

Feeling lonely/empathy isn't nice for neurotypical people...

They miss out on logic/morrals

All in all I am indifferent to having this kind of autism.

I don't feel bad about it because I like the focus I have and attention to detail in the things I do.

I don't like having panic attacks/mealtdowns/depression/anxiety/sensory overload

I can reduce those feelings manually. I've done the necessary research on managing those symptoms.

You should listern to "Jordan Peterson autism"...

People have mentioned "a cure for autism" but I wouldn't want mine to be cured.

There's lots of scientists and doctors who wouldn't be where they are without autistic traits."

I understand that and you are welcome to identify it anyway you wish. This is more about the acceptance and welcoming of anybody on the spectrum.

Using the old subcategories is an easy way of explaining how it manifests. Especially for people that have no real idea of what and how autism affects people. How ever you choose to describe it is up to you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hyper focus"isn't actually good long term...

Yah I go into super genious racing heartbeat mode and do a 5000 word report in 24 hours and get good grades...

Or I work 12 hours per day 7 days per week for 18 month

But then I crash and burn in spectacular ways ...

It's best for me to keep a healthy routine and not stress myself anymore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is no

"Asperger" diagnosis anymore

Or a "high functioning" label

The neurologists don't class it like that anymore...

Autism is give and take.

Feeling lonely/empathy isn't nice for neurotypical people...

They miss out on logic/morrals

All in all I am indifferent to having this kind of autism.

I don't feel bad about it because I like the focus I have and attention to detail in the things I do.

I don't like having panic attacks/mealtdowns/depression/anxiety/sensory overload

I can reduce those feelings manually. I've done the necessary research on managing those symptoms.

You should listern to "Jordan Peterson autism"...

People have mentioned "a cure for autism" but I wouldn't want mine to be cured.

There's lots of scientists and doctors who wouldn't be where they are without autistic traits.

I understand that and you are welcome to identify it anyway you wish. This is more about the acceptance and welcoming of anybody on the spectrum.

I was diagnosed recently (like most people)

It's only been in the last few years that they got better at identifying it.

Have you had 10 life coach appointments from the neurologist?

That was usefull.

We have routines we must follow or else we subliminally make our symptoms worse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is no

"Asperger" diagnosis anymore

Or a "high functioning" label

The neurologists don't class it like that anymore...

Autism is give and take.

Feeling lonely/empathy isn't nice for neurotypical people...

They miss out on logic/morrals

All in all I am indifferent to having this kind of autism.

I don't feel bad about it because I like the focus I have and attention to detail in the things I do.

I don't like having panic attacks/mealtdowns/depression/anxiety/sensory overload

I can reduce those feelings manually. I've done the necessary research on managing those symptoms.

You should listern to "Jordan Peterson autism"...

People have mentioned "a cure for autism" but I wouldn't want mine to be cured.

There's lots of scientists and doctors who wouldn't be where they are without autistic traits.

I understand that and you are welcome to identify it anyway you wish. This is more about the acceptance and welcoming of anybody on the spectrum.

As he said, identify as you with but perhaps you could refrain from using words that could be deemed offensive to some people such as window lickers if you wouldn’t mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is no

"Asperger" diagnosis anymore

Or a "high functioning" label

The neurologists don't class it like that anymore...

Autism is give and take.

Feeling lonely/empathy isn't nice for neurotypical people...

They miss out on logic/morrals

All in all I am indifferent to having this kind of autism.

I don't feel bad about it because I like the focus I have and attention to detail in the things I do.

I don't like having panic attacks/mealtdowns/depression/anxiety/sensory overload

I can reduce those feelings manually. I've done the necessary research on managing those symptoms.

You should listern to "Jordan Peterson autism"...

People have mentioned "a cure for autism" but I wouldn't want mine to be cured.

There's lots of scientists and doctors who wouldn't be where they are without autistic traits.

I understand that and you are welcome to identify it anyway you wish. This is more about the acceptance and welcoming of anybody on the spectrum.

As he said, identify as you with but perhaps you could refrain from using words that could be deemed offensive to some people such as window lickers if you wouldn’t mind. "

*wish. Not with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*wish. Not with "

It's a combination of dyslexia and autocorrecting phone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*wish. Not with

It's a combination of dyslexia and autocorrecting phone.

? I was correcting myself. I don’t have dyslexia

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*wish. Not with

It's a combination of dyslexia and autocorrecting phone.

? I was correcting myself. I don’t have dyslexia "

Oh. I thought I was being corrected.

I don't bother about it too much on forums.

If I type a formal essay I just proof read it.

I tend to just get it writtern or typed first. then i correct and edit it all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*wish. Not with

It's a combination of dyslexia and autocorrecting phone.

? I was correcting myself. I don’t have dyslexia

Oh. I thought I was being corrected.

I don't bother about it too much on forums.

If I type a formal essay I just proof read it.

I tend to just get it writtern or typed first. then i correct and edit it all.

No of course not. I wouldn’t correct other people! No worries

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By *imits2pushMan
over a year ago

lichfield

I’m also aspie, it’s actually really common in the bdsm scene and people are quite open about it.

First time I’ve seen it discussed here.

It can cause problems some times. From my experience, we miss some social ques that others don’t even realise they pick up on.

But also we pick up on a lot that other miss.

I can actually read my partners better than anyone has before, because I’m actively reading them, no subconsciously like everyone else does.

Yes, some new people can be harder for me to read initially, especially if they are from a different culture or socially awkward etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/07/19 18:47:07]

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By *ikeandmollyCouple
over a year ago

swindon

Got a house full here, hubby, son and myself no doubt. Son was diagnosed at 9 and is 17 now and we haven’t. Life is very odd at times here but fun as you never know what’s going to happen next lol.

Mike and Molly

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

I suspect most people are on the spectrum, I have slight autistic traits.

Would be interesting to see a binomial distribution psychic test to see how individuals fit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that everyone is somewhere on the autistic spectrum whether it's help or not makes the difference. It has positive as well as negative aspects so embrace it and enjoy your individuality. Mr

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’m also aspie, it’s actually really common in the bdsm scene and people are quite open about it.

First time I’ve seen it discussed here.

It can cause problems some times. From my experience, we miss some social ques that others don’t even realise they pick up on.

But also we pick up on a lot that other miss.

I can actually read my partners better than anyone has before, because I’m actively reading them, no subconsciously like everyone else does.

Yes, some new people can be harder for me to read initially, especially if they are from a different culture or socially awkward etc "

This... all of this.. its very true. You my friend hit the nail on the head.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Got a house full here, hubby, son and myself no doubt. Son was diagnosed at 9 and is 17 now and we haven’t. Life is very odd at times here but fun as you never know what’s going to happen next lol.

Mike and Molly

XX"

That sounds interesting. It must be hell during meltdowns depending on how they manifests.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love this thread!

My son is now an adult with Asperger's and I've worked with a fantastic organisation who support adults with all forms of autism. Truly amazing people who I learnt so much from .

There's still so much ignorance in the world from people who really should know better at times too.

I hope you find all your looking for on here and Keep owning who you are . It saddens me when I hear people apologise for their Autism.

I read a very powerful article recently that highlighted just how much we still need to do to improve the 'neuro typical' world we live in. X

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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

I have autism....I view it positively, I love being me and wouldn’t change anything

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have autism....I view it positively, I love being me and wouldn’t change anything

And youre awesome for it im sure.

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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

"I have autism....I view it positively, I love being me and wouldn’t change anything

And youre awesome for it im sure."

I am awesome

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

There are some swingers on here with autism (one of which I drool over (not literally))

I’m totally and utterly neuro-typical. My son is on the spectrum. I wonder if he got some weird genes or something

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I must have missed this earlier. I have autism too *waves*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m also aspie, it’s actually really common in the bdsm scene and people are quite open about it.

First time I’ve seen it discussed here.

It can cause problems some times. From my experience, we miss some social ques that others don’t even realise they pick up on.

But also we pick up on a lot that other miss.

I can actually read my partners better than anyone has before, because I’m actively reading them, no subconsciously like everyone else does.

Yes, some new people can be harder for me to read initially, especially if they are from a different culture or socially awkward etc "

When and how did you get diagnosed?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I must have missed this earlier. I have autism too *waves*"

*waves back* oh hiiii...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The worst aspect throughout my life has been the social aspect and making friends.

Fet and fabs have allowed me to be myself inside this context as opposed to the public face I have to display

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great thread OP

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The worst aspect throughout my life has been the social aspect and making friends.

Fet and fabs have allowed me to be myself inside this context as opposed to the public face I have to display "

Masking... one of the hardest aspects of being on the spectrum

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Great thread OP

Cheers seperoth

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

I read this the other day...

https://theaspergian.com/2019/05/04/its-a-spectrum-doesnt-mean-what-you-think/

It made so much more sense to me than just saying "on the spectrum" or "highly functioning"

But yeah, fellow autist here...

Like an artist, but with less eye contact or hugs and more annoying 'fidgiting' (stimming)

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By *hesecretdocMan
over a year ago

Lancashire

Just been diagnosed. The diagnosis has made a lot of my life finally make sense.

It is great to see this being talked about and gives me optimism in what can be a lonely place!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've not been tested for it myself but my partner has brought it up before suggesting that's the reason for some of my struggles and do feel I fall on the spectrum somewhere.

This is the kind of thing that would go nicely in a section of the forum a few of us have been suggesting. The idea is to do just what you have tried to do here, get people in a similar position to talk about it with each other

https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/feedback/897946

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This makes me think how lucky I am that i am healthy with no problems except for having a fibriod uterus.

What exactly is autism ?

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"Lets do it... welcome to the spectrum.

Im autistic.. i said it.

Anyone else either on the spectrum or have experiences with?

For those shy about it hello and welcome. I for one would be happy to see you in this thread.

Great thread OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I read this the other day...

https://theaspergian.com/2019/05/04/its-a-spectrum-doesnt-mean-what-you-think/

It made so much more sense to me than just saying "on the spectrum" or "highly functioning"

But yeah, fellow autist here...

Like an artist, but with less eye contact or hugs and more annoying 'fidgiting' (stimming)"

Interesting link.

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By *-4pleasureCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

"I am on the spectrum.

I don't say "high functioning"

Because that's abit immaculate..

I am less autistic than Albert einstine or rayman (card counting)

Some of the folk who lick Windows have special genious tallents that I can't compair to.

I've done abit of care work and volunteering."

A diagnosis of Aspergers does not give you carte blanche to use such hugely offensive language.

Honestly the irony of someone with a condition hoping for acceptance whilst humiliating others is mind blowing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am sure my son has undiagnosed aspergers. He is high functioning and always excelled at School/College.

Diagnosed with Selective Mutism as a toddler, was told his development wasn't where it should be.

He started School and went from being statemented to gifted and talented as he was two years ahead in his development

The traits were there, his need for perfection in his School work, he would suck up information like a sponge. Once a topic was in head he needed to find out everything about it.

Very linear in his approach to things, scarily organised. Overthinker, no verbal filter and had socially inept.

Planning, could never surprise him with a day out, he would panic. He would need at least weeks notice so he could plan the route, and the time it takes to get there as well as distance.

We were shocked at his Uni choice, all the way up in Scotland, but he had done his research, It was there or nowhere. Despite having unconditional offers from Universities closer to home.

He finished Uni with 2:1 and now ha an interview lined up at Rockstar games and other smaller gaming companies.

And he has decided that he wants to work at the smaller gamimg compaby because he wants to suceed at being part of something instead of a number at Rockstar.

I trust his judgement, his ideas are off the wall but he knows his own mind and knows what is best for him.

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By *iproperswingersCouple
over a year ago

Rainham

I've always thorght I might be. I do suffer from dislexia and I understand they can go hand in hand some times.

My son is aspurgis so guess that's anuther red flag.

How do you go about confirming it.

Xxx

Paul

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've always thorght I might be. I do suffer from dislexia and I understand they can go hand in hand some times.

My son is aspurgis so guess that's anuther red flag.

How do you go about confirming it.

Xxx

Paul "

I went through the private route as it was a lot quicker than the nhs but go to the nhs first and ask for a referral. And good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This makes me think how lucky I am that i am healthy with no problems except for having a fibriod uterus.

What exactly is autism ?"

An eminent academic who facilitated one of the courses I have attended, defined Autism as " A developmental abnormality of the brain." There are other very similar definitions. People with autism share three similar traits to some extent or another: Difficulty in social communication, difficulty in social interaction and difficulty in social thinking. These are known as the 'Triad of Impairments.' Hope this helps.

Great thread by the way OP!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me too. I'm also high functioning aspi.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've always thorght I might be. I do suffer from dislexia and I understand they can go hand in hand some times.

My son is aspurgis so guess that's anuther red flag.

How do you go about confirming it.

Xxx

Paul "

Do the AQ test online. If you score highly then print out your results go to your gp with them to ask for an assessment referral.

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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

"I've always thorght I might be. I do suffer from dislexia and I understand they can go hand in hand some times.

My son is aspurgis so guess that's anuther red flag.

How do you go about confirming it.

Xxx

Paul

Do the AQ test online. If you score highly then print out your results go to your gp with them to ask for an assessment referral. "

I just did that test and got 47/50

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

High functioning aspi here too....Hello

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

High functioning aspie here. At least, that’s one of my issues

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"High functioning aspie here. At least, that’s one of my issues

Would never call it an issue.. just a differnce that might need to be considered when interacting with others and reflecting on why you feel the way you do at times. Thats how i see it anyway.

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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

I definitely view my autism positively...I love being me and I love the things I can do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I definitely view my autism positively...I love being me and I love the things I can do

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