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Dim Doms.

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By *uckslut and M OP   Couple
over a year ago

The Attic - Derby.

Hacked off with those who think they know about BDSM. They get themself a profile name like " Big Dom" Dom4u" yessirDom".

They message us, telling us what they will do to me ( fem). 99% have read / seen 50 shades. That does not make you a Dom. A swingers site is for Swinging. Shock horror, if you, they, or "asking for a freind want kink" theres the other site for that.

Bdsm wanna be's on this site should state they are after " slap and tickle". Bdsm kinksters in the community should use the other site.

We have on profile we are D/s relatonship couple. We don't bring this into our swing play. Red warning light here. We don't want " slap and tickle swingers" for bdsm play. How much clearer can we make it?

The Dim Dom, who gave grahic details of what he would do, was sent away with a flea in his ear. Being advised to cover his balls. As I'm a Domme in my own right!

Bdsm or slap and tickle. Choose your site.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

I was always impressed with a lady on here who called them, Con-doms .

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

While I agree there are a lot of dangerous people (both identifying as dominant and submissive) about who don't understand the underlying principles of the BDSM dynamic - I disagree that there is no place for BDSM here for a couple of reasons:

Firstly one way of educating those with little knowledge or understanding is by discussing things openly and honestly and doing so here is all part of that - there are enough here that *do* understand the dynamic that often when BDSM threads appear a lot of very valuable information and advice is imparted, and if that helps but one person understand better then it's got to be a good thing.

BDSM covers such a broad spectrum with mild "kink play" at one end, and some fairly extreme activity at the other that places like the other site aren't always the best place to go if your interests are at the milder end of the spectrum, and having an outlet for those interests here is a good alternative.

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By *uckslut and M OP   Couple
over a year ago

The Attic - Derby.


"While I agree there are a lot of dangerous people (both identifying as dominant and submissive) about who don't understand the underlying principles of the BDSM dynamic - I disagree that there is no place for BDSM here for a couple of reasons:

Firstly one way of educating those with little knowledge or understanding is by discussing things openly and honestly and doing so here is all part of that - there are enough here that *do* understand the dynamic that often when BDSM threads appear a lot of very valuable information and advice is imparted, and if that helps but one person understand better then it's got to be a good thing.

BDSM covers such a broad spectrum with mild "kink play" at one end, and some fairly extreme activity at the other that places like the other site aren't always the best place to go if your interests are at the milder end of the spectrum, and having an outlet for those interests here is a good alternative.

"

Very good comments. I suppose I was blowing if steam, about this " cold caller Dom" to our profile. We do play at a very high level, so forget about learners and mild kink. Very wise words from you. Thank you.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

There's room for us all and if there's one thing that stopped us going to munches etc it was other people telling us we should be doing things their way. In my opinion that's pretty dangerous as is telling someone to protect their balls because you're a domme

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There's room for us all and if there's one thing that stopped us going to munches etc it was other people telling us we should be doing things their way. In my opinion that's pretty dangerous as is telling someone to protect their balls because you're a domme"

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good comments as always from Gemini Man. I’ve posted about Bdsm stuff on here before and there have been some very interesting and though provoking contributions. Thr other site is designed to prevent easy hook ups and just looks like an enormous time sink to me, although there is some wonderful photography.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I worry about the dim Dom’s just using it as a way to abuse people. I would never meet one.

Though equally they are dim, so filter themselves out and aren’t worth any emotional energy

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


". Thr other site is designed to prevent easy hook ups and just looks like an enormous time sink to me, although there is some wonderful photography."

If it’s the site I’m thinking then it’s not just about BDSM. There are other fetishes. I joined it interested in Polyamory but just got old men telling me off because I didn’t reply to them & do as they said

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"While I agree there are a lot of dangerous people (both identifying as dominant and submissive) about who don't understand the underlying principles of the BDSM dynamic - I disagree that there is no place for BDSM here for a couple of reasons:

Firstly one way of educating those with little knowledge or understanding is by discussing things openly and honestly and doing so here is all part of that - there are enough here that *do* understand the dynamic that often when BDSM threads appear a lot of very valuable information and advice is imparted, and if that helps but one person understand better then it's got to be a good thing.

BDSM covers such a broad spectrum with mild "kink play" at one end, and some fairly extreme activity at the other that places like the other site aren't always the best place to go if your interests are at the milder end of the spectrum, and having an outlet for those interests here is a good alternative.

"

What worries me is the “judgement” off the extremes.

To me when fun comes out of the equation, you have lost the right to judge.

I have a Dominant attitude to sensual sex,

To me, the purest by the very natural have flaws of not wanting to learn, “we know it all”.

While this makes me cringe, it’s play not an identity, it is a verb, not an noun.

So many don’t see the dynamic because of labels.

Apologies, ‘‘tis because I have never had a Sub I have never loved.

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By *wholeLotOfRosieWoman
over a year ago

Pontypridd


"I was always impressed with a lady on here who called them, Con-doms ."

I love this

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By *uckslut and M OP   Couple
over a year ago

The Attic - Derby.


"There's room for us all and if there's one thing that stopped us going to munches etc it was other people telling us we should be doing things their way. In my opinion that's pretty dangerous as is telling someone to protect their balls because you're a domme"

Ok, so a cold call telling you, I'm gonna grab your neck and slap your pussy and your gonna like it.

This is assult in my book. I'm a swinger, but not here for someone to abuse me.

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By *erby DomCouple
over a year ago

Ashbourne(ish) and Chesterfield(ish)


"I was always impressed with a lady on here who called them, Con-doms ."

Not heard that one before, but I love it.

I think there is room on this site for everyone no matter their interests. If BDSM is your thing and you state it on your profile you are going to get approached by con-dom idiots, just as swingers get approached by vanilla idiots.

It comes with the territory on any site like this and it is easy just to block and move on. The red flags are easy to spot and always trust your gut instincts.

I often contribute to BDSM topics and there are some very knowledgeable people on here who take the time to provide information for others to take or leave. It is good that this happens as it means that anyone interested hawe some crumbs to follow and hopefully it whets their interest enough to do some research and learn more about the BDSM lifestyle and practices.

Yes, this is a swingers site, but as with BDSM there is no right or wrong way to swing, so each to their own.

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By *uckslut and M OP   Couple
over a year ago

The Attic - Derby.


"I worry about the dim Dom’s just using it as a way to abuse people. I would never meet one.

Though equally they are dim, so filter themselves out and aren’t worth any emotional energy "

Thats my point! Abuse is NOT accepted in the community. I felt totally violated abused online by this chap.

If a chap approched me in the street with such comments I'd do anything to protect myself.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"There's room for us all and if there's one thing that stopped us going to munches etc it was other people telling us we should be doing things their way. In my opinion that's pretty dangerous as is telling someone to protect their balls because you're a domme

Ok, so a cold call telling you, I'm gonna grab your neck and slap your pussy and your gonna like it.

This is assult in my book. I'm a swinger, but not here for someone to abuse me. "

I agree.

I was referring to your comment "Bdsm or slap and tickle. Choose your site. "

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By *erby DomCouple
over a year ago

Ashbourne(ish) and Chesterfield(ish)


"Thats my point! Abuse is NOT accepted in the community. I felt totally violated abused online by this chap.

If a chap approched me in the street with such comments I'd do anything to protect myself."

Absolutely, abuse is never acceptable in any guise. A message like that should be reported at the very least if it is mentioning non-consensual activities.

Cockwombles like that shouldn't be on any site.

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By *asha86Couple
over a year ago

walsall

Me and tash have a d/s relationship out side of fab we are still relatively new ti it in the last 12 months but we both enjoy it its took alot to get where were at and alot of reserch weve found alot of people dont understand it and try not to bring it to fab for that reason. We keep it between up really as we both know our hard limits and wont push further.

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By *ommenhimCouple
over a year ago

wigan


"Hacked off with those who think they know about BDSM. They get themself a profile name like " Big Dom" Dom4u" yessirDom".

They message us, telling us what they will do to me ( fem). 99% have read / seen 50 shades. That does not make you a Dom. A swingers site is for Swinging. Shock horror, if you, they, or "asking for a freind want kink" theres the other site for that.

Bdsm wanna be's on this site should state they are after " slap and tickle". Bdsm kinksters in the community should use the other site.

We have on profile we are D/s relatonship couple. We don't bring this into our swing play. Red warning light here. We don't want " slap and tickle swingers" for bdsm play. How much clearer can we make it?

The Dim Dom, who gave grahic details of what he would do, was sent away with a flea in his ear. Being advised to cover his balls. As I'm a Domme in my own right!

Bdsm or slap and tickle. Choose your site. "

Your mention of high and advanced levels is somewhat confusing.... high, advanced level of swinging?, unless you’re referring to something else, then maybe that should be “on the other site”. Stating what should be here and not isn’t for you to determine.

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By *uckslut and M OP   Couple
over a year ago

The Attic - Derby.


"Hacked off with those who think they know about BDSM. They get themself a profile name like " Big Dom" Dom4u" yessirDom".

They message us, telling us what they will do to me ( fem). 99% have read / seen 50 shades. That does not make you a Dom. A swingers site is for Swinging. Shock horror, if you, they, or "asking for a freind want kink" theres the other site for that.

Bdsm wanna be's on this site should state they are after " slap and tickle". Bdsm kinksters in the community should use the other site.

We have on profile we are D/s relatonship couple. We don't bring this into our swing play. Red warning light here. We don't want " slap and tickle swingers" for bdsm play. How much clearer can we make it?

The Dim Dom, who gave grahic details of what he would do, was sent away with a flea in his ear. Being advised to cover his balls. As I'm a Domme in my own right!

Bdsm or slap and tickle. Choose your site.

Your mention of high and advanced levels is somewhat confusing.... high, advanced level of swinging?, unless you’re referring to something else, then maybe that should be “on the other site”. Stating what should be here and not isn’t for you to determine. "

Very good comments. I suppose I was blowing if steam, about this " cold caller Dom" to our profile. We do play at a very high level, so forget about learners and mild kink. Very wise words from you. Thank you.

Did you mean to reply and quote this comment of mine? It's not confusing, " high level so forget about learners and mild kink" KINK, is a bdsm , community lingo. However, if you re read what I wrote, about me forgetting about mild kink. I'm referruring to dbsm. We play at a high level. Nothing mild, but not at a broken bone level.

But just so you know we play at an advanced level in swinging too. Were not soft swap. We full swap, safe sex, couple = him and I.

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By *ommenhimCouple
over a year ago

wigan


"Hacked off with those who think they know about BDSM. They get themself a profile name like " Big Dom" Dom4u" yessirDom".

They message us, telling us what they will do to me ( fem). 99% have read / seen 50 shades. That does not make you a Dom. A swingers site is for Swinging. Shock horror, if you, they, or "asking for a freind want kink" theres the other site for that.

Bdsm wanna be's on this site should state they are after " slap and tickle". Bdsm kinksters in the community should use the other site.

We have on profile we are D/s relatonship couple. We don't bring this into our swing play. Red warning light here. We don't want " slap and tickle swingers" for bdsm play. How much clearer can we make it?

The Dim Dom, who gave grahic details of what he would do, was sent away with a flea in his ear. Being advised to cover his balls. As I'm a Domme in my own right!

Bdsm or slap and tickle. Choose your site.

Your mention of high and advanced levels is somewhat confusing.... high, advanced level of swinging?, unless you’re referring to something else, then maybe that should be “on the other site”. Stating what should be here and not isn’t for you to determine.

Very good comments. I suppose I was blowing if steam, about this " cold caller Dom" to our profile. We do play at a very high level, so forget about learners and mild kink. Very wise words from you. Thank you.

Did you mean to reply and quote this comment of mine? It's not confusing, " high level so forget about learners and mild kink" KINK, is a bdsm , community lingo. However, if you re read what I wrote, about me forgetting about mild kink. I'm referruring to dbsm. We play at a high level. Nothing mild, but not at a broken bone level.

But just so you know we play at an advanced level in swinging too. Were not soft swap. We full swap, safe sex, couple = him and I. "

Yes I meant to quote you....

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge


"There's room for us all and if there's one thing that stopped us going to munches etc it was other people telling us we should be doing things their way. In my opinion that's pretty dangerous as is telling someone to protect their balls because you're a domme"
oh my lord not the "one twooo way " every dynamic is different and unique sureley as as its between those involved as long as its safe consensual and none abusive its nobody elses buisness .do under stand the OPs contempt for the dim doms but equaly there are as many uberdoms and dommes who think they know it all and have a right to stick there nose in where its not needed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We didn’t realise there is levels of swinging ! You can do whatever everyone is comfortable with there’s nothing to say soft swap isn’t on the same level as full swap , this site is supposed to be for anyone that enjoys something other than perhaps vanilla sex , be it soft swap , bdsm etc .. we have been on the other kink site and it’s pretty pointless , we see ourselves as swingers but we won’t be labelled or pushed into anything we are not feeling .

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