FabSwingers.com forum: Why are single men reviled on here?

By *ackD9 OP Man
over a year ago

shropshire

I’m new to both the world of swinging and to Fab, and my first impressions are that a large number of women and couples are quite comfortable treating a single guy with contempt.

For example, sending a message seems to result in instant delete or even instant ban - and it doesn’t seem to matter how well-written or polite the message was.

I get there are a lot of single men looking for a quick fuck, I get that a lot of single men have absolutely no scruples and will completely ignore a profile and send a dick pic anyway... and I’m sure a lot of couples/single women are inundated with messages. However, I would think that a polite message would warrant a polite response, even if it’s just ‘no thanks, not interested’. Why doesn’t that happen? It doesn’t give newbies the impression that the swinging community is overly friendly!

I’m not trying to cause an argument; I’m trying to up my game by learning the vagaries of the site - so any advice on how to avoid being treated like a second class citizen by the majority of couples/single women would be greatly appreciated!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I revileth thee!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Patience is the key lol

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"I’m new to both the world of swinging and to Fab, and my first impressions are that a large number of women and couples are quite comfortable treating a single guy with contempt.

For example, sending a message seems to result in instant delete or even instant ban - and it doesn’t seem to matter how well-written or polite the message was.

Read the hundreds of threads asking the same questions.

The advice to newbies is always the same.

Some of which are

a, lower your expectations

b, you're not guaranteed shag on fab

c, women haven't got time to send you a polite thanks but no thanks as they would need a private secretary

D, be patient

E, attend socials and clubs

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

People might look at your profile pic and decide not to reply.

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By *obandsue 69Couple
over a year ago

north Cornwall

But we also found a lot of guys like to talk about a meet then last min get cold feet... And we not talking young men but 40+

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Soft car fun? How did a soft car pass an MOT?

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"I’m new to both the world of swinging and to Fab, and my first impressions are that a large number of women and couples are quite comfortable treating a single guy with contempt.

For example, sending a message seems to result in instant delete or even instant ban - and it doesn’t seem to matter how well-written or polite the message was.

Read the hundreds of threads asking the same questions.

The advice to newbies is always the same.

Some of which are

a, lower your expectations

b, you're not guaranteed shag on fab

c, women haven't got time to send you a polite thanks but no thanks as they would need a private secretary

D, be patient

E, attend socials and clubs

That sums it up perfectly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m new to both the world of swinging and to Fab, and my first impressions are that a large number of women and couples are quite comfortable treating a single guy with contempt.

For example, sending a message seems to result in instant delete or even instant ban - and it doesn’t seem to matter how well-written or polite the message was.

We are generally a very friendly lot, however over a period of time, when you get the same old messages, from people not reading our profile It makes us jaded and think why should we put the effort in to reply ‘ no thanks’ when no effort has been made with the initial contact?

Once people have been on here awhile they learn how to manage their account, and from personal experience a ‘ no thanks’ often leads to abuse.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

A lot of women hate cheaters so you could add a comment to your profile that your wife is happy to talk to other women to confirm that she knows she's in an open marriage

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m new to both the world of swinging and to Fab, and my first impressions are that a large number of women and couples are quite comfortable treating a single guy with contempt.

For example, sending a message seems to result in instant delete or even instant ban - and it doesn’t seem to matter how well-written or polite the message was.

So do true . A caveat to that is some folk on here are fine but a percentage are rude . Just keep the faith..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women want attention and an easy life. So, they put up sexy pics, open their filters and feel warm and fuzzy over the thousands of messages they receive.

It's too much of an arse ache for them to answer every message (because they are busy taking more pics or chatting to the really hot men who have stolen pics from a gay model's website) so they ignore or delete them.

I don't know how they can sleep at night.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Single men aren't reviled. I love them...but...

I get hundreds of messages (maybe 500-700 per week), some get thousands.

For a message to make impression it has to be eye-catching, with a similar profile.

With the best will in the world I don't have the time or inclination to reply to 700 messages a week.

Therefore a deleted message isn't rude, it's a no thanks (as per Fab guidelines).

My best advice is don't take Fab or yourself too seriously and dint expect it to be instashag.

Happy Fabbing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A lot of women hate cheaters so you could add a comment to your profile that your wife is happy to talk to other women to confirm that she knows she's in an open marriage

What if she doesn't want to talk to anyone though?

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By *ackD9 OP Man
over a year ago

shropshire

"Read the hundreds of threads asking the same questions.

The advice to newbies is always the same.

Some of which are

a, lower your expectations

b, you're not guaranteed shag on fab

c, women haven't got time to send you a polite thanks but no thanks as they would need a private secretary

D, be patient

E, attend socials and clubs

A) I had no expectations when I joined. Still don’t

B) Obviously

C) If someone has time to open a message, sending ‘no thanks’ takes about a second longer than hitting the delete or block button

D) I am patient! I’m not complaining that no one wants to meet me, just wondering why some people have no issue being rude about it

E) I will be attending a club as soon as I have the time

Thanks for replying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m new to both the world of swinging and to Fab, and my first impressions are that a large number of women and couples are quite comfortable treating a single guy with contempt.

For example, sending a message seems to result in instant delete or even instant ban - and it doesn’t seem to matter how well-written or polite the message was.

Because on a day when my profile is unhidden (even worse of I put up a new pic) I can receive let's say 80 messages, and yes I have all the filters on? Of those 80, 50 will not have bothered to read my profile so instant delete, 10 will be rude so instant delete and block ... leaves 20.

So I read each profile, look at their pics and veris and send 15 polite no thanks messages, leaves me to send a personal reply to the 5 messages I might be interested in.

I've already received 10 why delete or that's rude messages and a further 5 messages saying but give me a chance ....

Well I work, have family and mega hobbies, friends and a life ... all you had to do was write that one message to me!!

Luckily the rules state ... delete equals no thanks with no animosity!!

And sometimes it'll be 280 messages

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"Women want attention and an easy life. So, they put up sexy pics, open their filters and feel warm and fuzzy over the thousands of messages they receive.

I don't know how they can sleep at night."
Like babies

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By *ackD9 OP Man
over a year ago

shropshire

"People might look at your profile pic and decide not to reply. "

I can understand that to some extent, although my profile pic is tame compared to a lot!

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

Leeds

And

The majority of the single men! And straight ones !! Aren’t single or straight perhaps ???

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"And

The majority of the single men! And straight ones !! Aren’t single or straight perhaps ???"
True, we are a rare breed on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had to look up 'vagaries', honestly never seen the word before.

I'm stealing it, I like how it sounds.

Thanks for the education

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And

The majority of the single men! And straight ones !! Aren’t single or straight perhaps ???"

unicorns

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"I’m new to both the world of swinging and to Fab, and my first impressions are that a large number of women and couples are quite comfortable treating a single guy with contempt.

For example, sending a message seems to result in instant delete or even instant ban - and it doesn’t seem to matter how well-written or polite the message was.

you are not owed anything just for being here......

see...... sometimes instead of blaming everyone else (or what you did here was blame other single men) sometimes you have to look in the mirror and ask "what can i do to make myself stand out!.... what improvements can i make to sell the best "me" i can!"

you only get treated like a second class citizen if you let yourself be, if people are asking you to jump thru hoops to get a meet, then don't! simple as!... others are no better that you

the site gives you all the tools to make it work.... what you need to bring to the party is time, patience and basic common sense!

sometimes i despair at the amount of people to don't bring that 3rd thing!

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By *ackD9 OP Man
over a year ago

shropshire

"We are generally a very friendly lot, however over a period of time, when you get the same old messages, from people not reading our profile It makes us jaded and think why should we put the effort in to reply ‘ no thanks’ when no effort has been made with the initial contact?"

I forgot to say, I always read the profile and try to make the message reflect that - but I hadn't thought of that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always reply to all even if it's just a no thanks and I don't understand the comments about going to meets and clubs. Not everyone is near these or wants to attend. The point of these sites is to establish a contact. there's no point in having them if you can meet at clubs. And to have to attend a club or meet to get verified to get accepted on here is barmy.

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"I’m new to both the world of swinging and to Fab, and my first impressions are that a large number of women and couples are quite comfortable treating a single guy with contempt.

For example, sending a message seems to result in instant delete or even instant ban - and it doesn’t seem to matter how well-written or polite the message was.

you are not owed anything just for being here......

you only get treated like a second class citizen if you let yourself be, if people are asking you to jump thru hoops to get a meet, then don't! simple as!... others are no better that you

the site gives you all the tools to make it work.... what you need to bring to the party is time, patience and basic common sense!

sometimes i despair at the amount of people to don't bring that 3rd thing! "
You're a wise man

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By *ackD9 OP Man
over a year ago

shropshire

"Single men aren't reviled. I love them...but...

I get hundreds of messages (maybe 500-700 per week), some get thousands.

For a message to make impression it has to be eye-catching, with a similar profile.

With the best will in the world I don't have the time or inclination to reply to 700 messages a week.

Therefore a deleted message isn't rude, it's a no thanks (as per Fab guidelines).

My best advice is don't take Fab or yourself too seriously and dint expect it to be instashag.

Happy Fabbing"

Ah, now that makes more sense to me - I didn't realise the number of messages would be that high. I understand the insta-delete now... Is that true for couples as well as single women?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But we also found a lot of guys like to talk about a meet then last min get cold feet... And we not talking young men but 40+

I just posted something along these lines as a topic

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By *ackD9 OP Man
over a year ago

shropshire

"And

The majority of the single men! And straight ones !! Aren’t single or straight perhaps ???"

There's no option for 'in an open marriage but playing alone', so single man seemed the best fit!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The site FAQ's are pretty clear on the subject of 'no replies'

In fact, one rather helpful lady pointed out just how long it would take her to get through all the messages she gets if she were to reply to each and every one.

Fab, and swinging, is supposed to be fun.

How much fun do you think it might be spending a good few hours of each day just going through your inbox?

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By *ackD9 OP Man
over a year ago

shropshire

"you are not owed anything just for being here......"

No, I'm quite aware of that.

"see...... sometimes instead of blaming everyone else (or what you did here was blame other single men) sometimes you have to look in the mirror and ask "what can i do to make myself stand out!.... what improvements can i make to sell the best "me" i can!""

I'm not blaming anyone for anything; I'm not sure how you got to that from what I wrote, but I was more sharing my impressions of the community thus far and asking how to be a better member of it.

"the site gives you all the tools to make it work.... what you need to bring to the party is time, patience and basic common sense!

sometimes i despair at the amount of people to don't bring that 3rd thing! "

I'm using all of those tools. I think you might have misconstrued my initial message, but thanks for replying anyway.

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By *ackD9 OP Man
over a year ago

shropshire

"The site FAQ's are pretty clear on the subject of 'no replies'

In fact, one rather helpful lady pointed out just how long it would take her to get through all the messages she gets if she were to reply to each and every one.

Fab, and swinging, is supposed to be fun.

How much fun do you think it might be spending a good few hours of each day just going through your inbox?"

No, I didn't realise the number of messages to a single woman could number in the thousands - the delete without reply makes a lot more sense in that context.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How much fun do you think it might be spending a good few hours of each day just going through your inbox?"

Probably just as much fun as sending thousands of messages with no replies to be fair.

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By *raceytvcdTV/TS
over a year ago

mansfield

"Patience is the key lol"
nothing to do with patience it's about manners

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We don't get many messages but we still only respond to some. The ones we ignore are either rude e.g. just address one of us or are a one line demand or haven't read our profile.

We are always respectful to single men who respect us. It's a two way street.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How much fun do you think it might be spending a good few hours of each day just going through your inbox?

Probably just as much fun as sending thousands of messages with no replies to be fair.

Do men actually send 50 messages a day? Every day?

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"We don't get many messages but we still only respond to some. The ones we ignore are either rude e.g. just address one of us or are a one line demand or haven't read our profile.

We are always respectful to single men who respect us. It's a two way street."
Sorry

I got excited.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"We don't get many messages but we still only respond to some. The ones we ignore are either rude e.g. just address one of us or are a one line demand or haven't read our profile.

We are always respectful to single men who respect us. It's a two way street. Sorry

I got excited."

Well! Don't do it again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How much fun do you think it might be spending a good few hours of each day just going through your inbox?

Probably just as much fun as sending thousands of messages with no replies to be fair.

Do men actually send 50 messages a day? Every day?

I've sent a lot in my two stints. It's a number's game.

It's the same on any dating site and in real life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How much fun do you think it might be spending a good few hours of each day just going through your inbox?

Probably just as much fun as sending thousands of messages with no replies to be fair.

Do men actually send 50 messages a day? Every day?

I've sent a lot in my two stints. It's a number's game.

It's the same on any dating site and in real life."

So you don't send 50 a day, every day?

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"We don't get many messages but we still only respond to some. The ones we ignore are either rude e.g. just address one of us or are a one line demand or haven't read our profile.

We are always respectful to single men who respect us. It's a two way street. Sorry

I got excited.

Well! Don't do it again

"
I promise i won't Mistress

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't revile single men who are genuinely seeking meets but sadly many single guys have little respect for ladies and in addition many are simply timewasters looking for wank fodder

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m new to both the world of swinging and to Fab, and my first impressions are that a large number of women and couples are quite comfortable treating a single guy with contempt.

For example, sending a message seems to result in instant delete or even instant ban - and it doesn’t seem to matter how well-written or polite the message was.

"
Hey unfortunately a lot of single guys not all treat this meeting app as a sex site and message women as such, you don't go into your local Costa Coffee Birmingham has 14 drop your trousers and say hi what ya think and stare at them lasciviously do you, some guys it seems do, treat women with respect improve our image

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How much fun do you think it might be spending a good few hours of each day just going through your inbox?

Probably just as much fun as sending thousands of messages with no replies to be fair.

Do men actually send 50 messages a day? Every day?

I've sent a lot in my two stints. It's a number's game.

It's the same on any dating site and in real life.

So you don't send 50 a day, every day? "

Possibly. I don't count really.

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By *heaspieswingerMan
over a year ago

Peak District

[Removed by poster at 12/12/18 10:35:24]

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

How much fun do you think it might be spending a good few hours of each day just going through your inbox?

Probably just as much fun as sending thousands of messages with no replies to be fair.

Do men actually send 50 messages a day? Every day?

I've sent a lot in my two stints. It's a number's game.

It's the same on any dating site and in real life.

So you don't send 50 a day, every day?

Possibly. I don't count really. "
Get a hobby mate

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By *heaspieswingerMan
over a year ago

Peak District

"I’m new to both the world of swinging and to Fab, and my first impressions are that a large number of women and couples are quite comfortable treating a single guy with contempt.

For example, sending a message seems to result in instant delete or even instant ban - and it doesn’t seem to matter how well-written or polite the message was.

A read/delete or a block is considered a polite “no thank you”. If we replied to every single message to single guys just to say “no thanks” we’d never get anything done.

Welcome to FAB

Also, at least with those you know they aren’t interested. The real pain is read/not replied for months on end

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How much fun do you think it might be spending a good few hours of each day just going through your inbox?

Probably just as much fun as sending thousands of messages with no replies to be fair.

Do men actually send 50 messages a day? Every day?

I've sent a lot in my two stints. It's a number's game.

It's the same on any dating site and in real life.

So you don't send 50 a day, every day?

Possibly. I don't count really. Get a hobby mate

Fuck all else to do bored in work. Can't really practise my orogami or learn the saxophone at my desk.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How much fun do you think it might be spending a good few hours of each day just going through your inbox?

Probably just as much fun as sending thousands of messages with no replies to be fair.

Do men actually send 50 messages a day? Every day?

I've sent a lot in my two stints. It's a number's game.

It's the same on any dating site and in real life.

So you don't send 50 a day, every day?

Possibly. I don't count really. Get a hobby mate

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

How much fun do you think it might be spending a good few hours of each day just going through your inbox?

Probably just as much fun as sending thousands of messages with no replies to be fair.

Do men actually send 50 messages a day? Every day?

I've sent a lot in my two stints. It's a number's game.

It's the same on any dating site and in real life.

So you don't send 50 a day, every day?

Possibly. I don't count really. Get a hobby mate

Fuck all else to do bored in work. Can't really practise my orogami or learn the saxophone at my desk."
Touché, it just can't be healthy that unless you are a masochist.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Why cant you do origami at your desk yet you can go on Fab ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why cant you do origami at your desk yet you can go on Fab ?"

Well I mean I literally can't do origami. But would look obvious.

I can subtly be on my phone its easy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How much fun do you think it might be spending a good few hours of each day just going through your inbox?

Probably just as much fun as sending thousands of messages with no replies to be fair.

Do men actually send 50 messages a day? Every day?

I've sent a lot in my two stints. It's a number's game.

It's the same on any dating site and in real life.

So you don't send 50 a day, every day?

Possibly. I don't count really. Get a hobby mate

Fuck all else to do bored in work. Can't really practise my orogami or learn the saxophone at my desk. Touché, it just can't be healthy that unless you are a masochist."

Eh you've gotta keep going no matter what anyone says.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How much fun do you think it might be spending a good few hours of each day just going through your inbox?

Probably just as much fun as sending thousands of messages with no replies to be fair.

Do men actually send 50 messages a day? Every day?

I've sent a lot in my two stints. It's a number's game.

It's the same on any dating site and in real life.

So you don't send 50 a day, every day?

Possibly. I don't count really. Get a hobby mate

Fuck all else to do bored in work. Can't really practise my orogami or learn the saxophone at my desk. Touché, it just can't be healthy that unless you are a masochist.

Eh you've gotta keep going no matter what anyone says."

So much more in life ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How much fun do you think it might be spending a good few hours of each day just going through your inbox?

Probably just as much fun as sending thousands of messages with no replies to be fair.

Do men actually send 50 messages a day? Every day?

I've sent a lot in my two stints. It's a number's game.

It's the same on any dating site and in real life.

So you don't send 50 a day, every day?

Possibly. I don't count really. Get a hobby mate

Fuck all else to do bored in work. Can't really practise my orogami or learn the saxophone at my desk. Touché, it just can't be healthy that unless you are a masochist.

Eh you've gotta keep going no matter what anyone says.

So much more in life ... "

Oh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why cant you do origami at your desk yet you can go on Fab ?"

Or even do work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We think about sex all the time.

When we get horny, we want sex immediately,simple.

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

I dont know about reviled ...maybe barely tolerated but the male half of couples are a problem too it seems. A single guy blocked us after a polite response....not even a no thanks...because Paul answered the message

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"I dont know about reviled ...maybe barely tolerated but the male half of couples are a problem too it seems. A single guy blocked us after a polite response....not even a no thanks...because Paul answered the message

"
Why is it usually the men who run couples profiles on their own? Surely it should be a joint thing answering messages together if you can.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd get a new job pal.... Sounds very unfulfilling

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

Why is it usually the men who run couples profiles on their own? Surely it should be a joint thing answering messages together if you can. "

We both answer....depends who is on...sometimes we are both there. I am not aware that men do run them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd get a new job pal.... Sounds very unfulfilling"

A job is a job. Economy is fucked. Lucky to even have one in this shit society.

Who here is fulfilled by their crappy office job?

If so, fair play to you. My envy knows no bounds.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m new to both the world of swinging and to Fab, and my first impressions are that a large number of women and couples are quite comfortable treating a single guy with contempt.

For example, sending a message seems to result in instant delete or even instant ban - and it doesn’t seem to matter how well-written or polite the message was.

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

Why is it usually the men who run couples profiles on their own? Surely it should be a joint thing answering messages together if you can.

We both answer....depends who is on...sometimes we are both there. I am not aware that men do run them."
It just seems to the case with a lot. If I had a couples profile I'd want to do it together.

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By *laytimetwoCouple
over a year ago

Staines

"We think about sex all the time.

When we get horny, we want sex immediately,simple.

Well go an pay for it

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

Why is it usually the men who run couples profiles on their own? Surely it should be a joint thing answering messages together if you can.

We both answer....depends who is on...sometimes we are both there. I am not aware that men do run them. It just seems to the case with a lot. If I had a couples profile I'd want to do it together. "

We have extremely busy lives and are not joined at the hip. If we waited until we had some free time together we would rarely be on here.

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By *laytimetwoCouple
over a year ago

Staines

Why is it usually the men who run couples profiles on their own? Surely it should be a joint thing answering messages together if you can. "

We runs ours together, in fact, I get to choose who we meet (female), he’s more than happy with that.

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

Why is it usually the men who run couples profiles on their own? Surely it should be a joint thing answering messages together if you can.

We both answer....depends who is on...sometimes we are both there. I am not aware that men do run them. It just seems to the case with a lot. If I had a couples profile I'd want to do it together.

We have extremely busy lives and are not joined at the hip. If we waited until we had some free time together we would rarely be on here."
That's understandable.

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By *otlovefun42Couple
over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

"I’m new to both the world of swinging and to Fab, and my first impressions are that a large number of women and couples are quite comfortable treating a single guy with contempt.

For example, sending a message seems to result in instant delete or even instant ban - and it doesn’t seem to matter how well-written or polite the message was.

Read the hundreds of threads asking the same questions.

The advice to newbies is always the same.

Some of which are

a, lower your expectations

b, you're not guaranteed shag on fab

c, women haven't got time to send you a polite thanks but no thanks as they would need a private secretary

D, be patient

E, attend socials and clubs

Top answer.

We would just add. Read the profile before messaging.

We get lots of very polite and well written messages from single guys who haven't even got a clue which country we are in.

Our profile says exactly where we are yet they send messages asking "where are you?"

Then they get all uppity because we delete and don't reply.

For all they know it may say further down that the Mrs likes to bite off cocks and nail them to the bedpost. She doesn't but they would never know.

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

Why is it usually the men who run couples profiles on their own? Surely it should be a joint thing answering messages together if you can.

We runs ours together, in fact, I get to choose who we meet (female), he’s more than happy with that."
Fair play

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Give it time and you’ll be fine. There have been loads of threads over the years on this subject and really the only answer is you just have to bite the bullet, be yourself and work hard at it.

You are in a buyers market so you are at a disadvantage to start off with and if you come across as grumbly/moany its not going to make you popular with the ladies. Fabio is full of sage advice and as he says, play your best you, respect who you are communicating with,don’t expect instashag and you’ll probably make good progress. Also, chatting and having fun on the forums will garner you some attention which can be surprisingly worthwhile, in my experience. Oh yes don’t forget to lie about your age too

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

How much fun do you think it might be spending a good few hours of each day just going through your inbox?

Probably just as much fun as sending thousands of messages with no replies to be fair.

Do men actually send 50 messages a day? Every day?

I've sent a lot in my two stints. It's a number's game.

It's the same on any dating site and in real life."

If you see it as a numbers game can I suggest you're seeing it wrong?

Do you really blindly send out messages to anyone within a certain radius in the hope of a reply, no matter who the person is?

I'd find that completely soul destroying to be honest, not to mention if I were the recipient of such a scattering message it wouldn't exactly have me scrambling to reply.

In my two years or so on the site I think I've sent 5 or 6 completely cold messages to people whose profile has interested me - and just couldn't imagine sending 50 odd messages a day in the hope of a shag, any shag.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd get a new job pal.... Sounds very unfulfilling

A job is a job. Economy is fucked. Lucky to even have one in this shit society.

Who here is fulfilled by their crappy office job?

If so, fair play to you. My envy knows no bounds."

My jobs fulfilling.... My. Boss is a cunt.... So I'm half way to where you are anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Single men are revered on here I'll have you know, theirs an upsurge in our popularity

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd get a new job pal.... Sounds very unfulfilling

A job is a job. Economy is fucked. Lucky to even have one in this shit society.

Who here is fulfilled by their crappy office job?

If so, fair play to you. My envy knows no bounds.

My jobs fulfilling.... My. Boss is a cunt.... So I'm half way to where you are anyway

I love my job though my boss is just a twat ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't feel reviled in any way here

amazing profile pic by the way OP. The ladies will be beating a path to your door no doubt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd get a new job pal.... Sounds very unfulfilling

A job is a job. Economy is fucked. Lucky to even have one in this shit society.

Who here is fulfilled by their crappy office job?

If so, fair play to you. My envy knows no bounds.

My jobs fulfilling.... My. Boss is a cunt.... So I'm half way to where you are anyway

I love my job though my boss is just a twat ...

"
sorry I'm trying to be more flexible

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd get a new job pal.... Sounds very unfulfilling

A job is a job. Economy is fucked. Lucky to even have one in this shit society.

Who here is fulfilled by their crappy office job?

If so, fair play to you. My envy knows no bounds.

My jobs fulfilling.... My. Boss is a cunt.... So I'm half way to where you are anyway

I love my job though my boss is just a twat ...

sorry I'm trying to be more flexible "

Hahahahahahahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd get a new job pal.... Sounds very unfulfilling

A job is a job. Economy is fucked. Lucky to even have one in this shit society.

Who here is fulfilled by their crappy office job?

If so, fair play to you. My envy knows no bounds.

My jobs fulfilling.... My. Boss is a cunt.... So I'm half way to where you are anyway

I love my job though my boss is just a twat ...

sorry I'm trying to be more flexible

Hahahahahahahaha

"
get back to work I won't tell you again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd get a new job pal.... Sounds very unfulfilling

A job is a job. Economy is fucked. Lucky to even have one in this shit society.

Who here is fulfilled by their crappy office job?

If so, fair play to you. My envy knows no bounds.

My jobs fulfilling.... My. Boss is a cunt.... So I'm half way to where you are anyway

I love my job though my boss is just a twat ...

sorry I'm trying to be more flexible

Hahahahahahahaha

"
get back to work I won't tell you again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How much fun do you think it might be spending a good few hours of each day just going through your inbox?

Probably just as much fun as sending thousands of messages with no replies to be fair.

Do men actually send 50 messages a day? Every day?

I've sent a lot in my two stints. It's a number's game.

It's the same on any dating site and in real life.

If you see it as a numbers game can I suggest you're seeing it wrong?

Do you really blindly send out messages to anyone within a certain radius in the hope of a reply, no matter who the person is?

I'd find that completely soul destroying to be honest, not to mention if I were the recipient of such a scattering message it wouldn't exactly have me scrambling to reply.

Not looking for just any shag to be honest.

I am not someone with a type or rigid things I look for like a lot of folk on here. I am incredibly open person looking to talk with anyone. I like to give everyone a chance and say hello to any lady who seems nice. You never know what someone will truly be like until you talk to them.

People seem to be really weird with that. Which is bizarre but that's human nature I suppose. Its possibly an unattractive male thing, you become a lot more appreciative of people who most wouldn't.

You probably wouldnt know my messages are scattered. I actually read profiles and send half decent messages. I dont just message girls saying "fancy a bum" at all. Even if they have nothing interesting on their profile, which sadly a lot of women don't.

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By *ackD9 OP Man
over a year ago

shropshire

[Removed by poster at 12/12/18 11:39:39]

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By *ackD9 OP Man
over a year ago

shropshire

"I don't feel reviled in any way here

amazing profile pic by the way OP. The ladies will be beating a path to your door no doubt

The snideness really brings out the warm, welcoming feeling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We think about sex all the time.

When we get horny, we want sex immediately,simple.

Well go an pay for it

"
I'll pass ,and use me palm

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

I can't speak for everyone, but in our experience, a lot of single guys are in fact married or in some way attached and as those aren't honest about it, we are cautious about meeting "single" guys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m new to both the world of swinging and to Fab, and my first impressions are that a large number of women and couples are quite comfortable treating a single guy with contempt.

For example, sending a message seems to result in instant delete or even instant ban - and it doesn’t seem to matter how well-written or polite the message was.

Once people have been on here awhile they learn how to manage their account, and from personal experience a ‘ no thanks’ often leads to abuse."

This ....so much this ...100+ messages a day ...if we are lucky 10% have read our profile ..2% actually fit what we are loocking for

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By *laytimetwoCouple
over a year ago

Staines

"We think about sex all the time.

When we get horny, we want sex immediately,simple.

Well go an pay for it

I'll pass ,and use me palm

Sounds like do, lots, hope it gives you better results, than your fingers do when typing messages.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I've been thinking about this and what the OP has had to say and think I can sum up my thoughts best as follows...

Single men aren't reviled at all - there are huge numbers of them here who do very well and find the site meets their expectations perfectly, they just tend to go quietly about their Fab business without fuss or ado.

The perception (false in my opinion) that men are seen as the bottom of the pile comes from the fact that you see so many negative threads either posted by men who struggle to get meets, or women and couples bemoaning the approach of many single men on the site - you rarely see threads from single guys saying how great the site is for them, or women and couples praising single men.

A lot is made of the number imbalance between men and women on the site, and it's true men do outnumber women by at least 10:1, but I've long believed, and have yet to be convinced otherwise that if you take away the single guys that think all they have to do is sign up to get a meet, and those that think a gallery full of disembodied cock shots and one line of text is alluring etc then the numbers are a lot more evenly balanced.

Yes there are things like a lack of reply to a well written and respectful message which may seem rude, or out of line with every day behaviour, but as this thread has shown there are usually good reasons for it and it's just a case of getting used to that.

As a single guy this place can either be very fulfilling or soul destroying, and a lot of which way it is for each of us comes down to attitude and approach - get it wrong and the latter is likely to beckon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can see the OPs points, itcan be frustrating and appear rude. I felt the same at first.

Don't take it personally, comment in the forum's, post topics and continue to message women. You will get there, it's not easy but definitely worth it.

Happy swinging

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By *orthyorkypairCouple
over a year ago

North Yorkshire

"Women want attention and an easy life. So, they put up sexy pics, open their filters and feel warm and fuzzy over the thousands of messages they receive.

I don't know how they can sleep at night."

I sleep like a log!!!!! mind that might be the wild sex with mrnorthy before i go to sleep

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By *ain n MableWoman
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

Unfortunately it's the minority that spoil it for the majority.

We now clearly have it written in our profile of why we won't reply if we are not interested. We also say that WE will find single guys if we wish to meet them so if single guys message then they obviously haven't read our profile.

Sorry OP, but the damage was done long before you joined so don't take it personally.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

You have a message limit of 100 to send per day (this is why you see statuses that say “ran out of message today” or similar)

I currently have over 300 unread messages in my inbox so it’s mathmatically impossible to answer them all that’s why the site FAQs say to to treat an unanswered or deleted message as a polite no thanks

It just makes more sense to utilize those messages for people you are interested in especially if you want to have a bit of a conversation first to see if there’s the right chemistry to want to meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women want attention and an easy life. So, they put up sexy pics, open their filters and feel warm and fuzzy over the thousands of messages they receive.

I don't know how they can sleep at night."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Unfortunately it's the minority that spoil it for the majority.

Sorry OP, but the damage was done long before you joined so don't take it personally. "

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By *inkycreamCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Swinging is in general a couples sport with couples. So unfortunately it puts single guys at the bottom rung, even more so when showing signs of married

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get hundreds of messages a day I read and reply to all, not one has read my profile or fabbed my pics

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

"Single men aren't reviled. I love them...but...

I get hundreds of messages (maybe 500-700 per week), some get thousands.

For a message to make impression it has to be eye-catching, with a similar profile.

With the best will in the world I don't have the time or inclination to reply to 700 messages a week.

Therefore a deleted message isn't rude, it's a no thanks (as per Fab guidelines).

My best advice is don't take Fab or yourself too seriously and dint expect it to be instashag.

Happy Fabbing

This puts it perfectly into context.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We can afford to be picky so we are.

I won't reply to anyone who doesn't have the phrase from my profile as their subject so it's an easy DELETE from me.

After that, I'll look at photos they've attached or delete if none are attached.

After that I'll check out their message and maybe delete or reply.

Maybe will look at their profile and veris. Just depends on what I'm doing, how busy I am, whether the grass is green or the sky is blue...

Single guys get a bad rap on here cos the MAJORITY of them are donuts who think this is instashag. If you think you're in the minority, then you'll have to work to prove that.

Best way though? Get yourself to socials and clubs. Then you'll get veris, might even have a chance to play and will build up a good reputation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

block all single guys from messaging you.

then you can decide who fits your profile and message them.

if they turn out to be a fool, add them to the block list and try again.

filters are there so use them.

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By *etite HandfulWoman
over a year ago

Chester

"block all single guys from messaging you.

then you can decide who fits your profile and message them.

if they turn out to be a fool, add them to the block list and try again.

filters are there so use them.

It is far more productive I find sending the first message to a guy you tend to end up with a better experience with guys you choose.

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"block all single guys from messaging you.

then you can decide who fits your profile and message them.

if they turn out to be a fool, add them to the block list and try again.

filters are there so use them.

It is far more productive I find sending the first message to a guy you tend to end up with a better experience with guys you choose."

I totally agree, sometimes I open my filters for a wee while, and that reminds me why it's better for me to make first contact

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By *ycra loutMan
over a year ago

york/Scarborough

I get quite a few messages from blokes tbh..and I look at it this way.. if some stranger in the street said hello..I'd be polite and say hello back..same goes on here..I'm not really into blokes but I still have the decency to reply to their message..even if it makes someone smile to actually receive a message..

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Single men aren't reviled. I love them...but...

I get hundreds of messages (maybe 500-700 per week), some get thousands.

For a message to make impression it has to be eye-catching, with a similar profile.

With the best will in the world I don't have the time or inclination to reply to 700 messages a week.

Therefore a deleted message isn't rude, it's a no thanks (as per Fab guidelines).

My best advice is don't take Fab or yourself too seriously and dint expect it to be instashag.

Happy Fabbing

700 messages a week? Really?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"block all single guys from messaging you.

then you can decide who fits your profile and message them.

if they turn out to be a fool, add them to the block list and try again.

filters are there so use them.

It is far more productive I find sending the first message to a guy you tend to end up with a better experience with guys you choose.

I totally agree, sometimes I open my filters for a wee while, and that reminds me why it's better for me to make first contact

I was saying this to a friend from fab earlier today, every now and then I will take off my filters just to see if anybody catches my eye. Within a day or two I remember why I had those filters in place

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"I’m new to both the world of swinging and to Fab, and my first impressions are that a large number of women and couples are quite comfortable treating a single guy with contempt.

For example, sending a message seems to result in instant delete or even instant ban - and it doesn’t seem to matter how well-written or polite the message was.

In my experience a polite ‘ No thank you’ results in a barrage of insults so I won’t even go there! End of

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I get quite a few messages from blokes tbh..and I look at it this way.. if some stranger in the street said hello..I'd be polite and say hello back..same goes on here..I'm not really into blokes but I still have the decency to reply to their message..even if it makes someone smile to actually receive a message.."

That's one analogy now try this one....you get probably 50 or 60 junk mail messages in your spam folder every day - do you reply to each and every one of them saying no thanks?

Plus in your analogy, what's "quite a few"? I'd guess not much more than 20 a week? As this thread has shown, even with filters in place the good ladies of Fab can get hundreds a day - do they spend several hours of their time on Fab replying to each and every one, or ignore/delete them and focus on enjoying the aspects of the site that are positives for them?

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

"I’m new to both the world of swinging and to Fab, and my first impressions are that a large number of women and couples are quite comfortable treating a single guy with contempt.

For example, sending a message seems to result in instant delete or even instant ban - and it doesn’t seem to matter how well-written or polite the message was.

Glass hopper you have lot to learn!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get hundreds of messages a day I read and reply to all, not one has read my profile or fabbed my pics "
so you are one of the luck men here hehe

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

"you are not owed anything just for being here......

No, I'm quite aware of that.

I'm not blaming anyone for anything; I'm not sure how you got to that from what I wrote, but I was more sharing my impressions of the community thus far and asking how to be a better member of it.

the site gives you all the tools to make it work.... what you need to bring to the party is time, patience and basic common sense!

sometimes i despair at the amount of people to don't bring that 3rd thing!

I'm using all of those tools. I think you might have misconstrued my initial message, but thanks for replying anyway."

Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance, not to display it!

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By *ackD9 OP Man
over a year ago

shropshire

"Glass hopper you have lot to learn!

So I’m finding since posting...

It’s been interesting reading people’s responses, even if I haven’t replied much!

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By *ackD9 OP Man
over a year ago

shropshire

"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance, not to display it!

Did you win a box of fortune cookies in a raffle or something?

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By *ovegames42Man
over a year ago

london

Not looking for single males, can seem to come across as a badge of honour on here, but seeing the site is bombarded with single males it’s hardly surprising

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By *ice but naughty80Man
over a year ago

ayrshire

Unfortunately, there are guys in here that think that because it’s a sex site that they have the right to treat women like whores. They fail to understand that it’s not all sleazy like they think. It’s a lifestyle. If a women has sex with lots of guys, who cares. As long as it’s safe and consensual the good on you girls. It due to these guys being arseholes, it makes the women on here very particular about who they talk to. Plus, women get 100s of mails a day. If you manage to get a reply, result!! Keep the head up bud. It’s not a sprint. Keep the faith and karma will reward you. Peace out brother

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By *ovegames42Man
over a year ago

london

"Unfortunately, there are guys in here that think that because it’s a sex site that they have the right to treat women like whores. They fail to understand that it’s not all sleazy like they think. It’s a lifestyle. If a women has sex with lots of guys, who cares. As long as it’s safe and consensual the good on you girls. It due to these guys being arseholes, it makes the women on here very particular about who they talk to. Plus, women get 100s of mails a day. If you manage to get a reply, result!! Keep the head up bud. It’s not a sprint. Keep the faith and karma will reward you. Peace out brother

It can clearly be seen in the chat rooms and clubs I have attended that some people have no interest in the lifestyle what’s so ever and seem to have extreamly difficulty grasping the concept of basic etiquette. this is a major factor for the “ not looking for single males “ term. How would they feel if someone spoke to there mother or sister the way they speak to some people on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *voryforebonyMan
over a year ago

boogie town

Because'plump' 50 something very average looking women with no photos DEMAND that any prospective make partner be at least 6 foot 7, ripped, tanned and at least 10 inches long and be able to last 6 hours solid and have numerous face and body pictures to prove...

If you can't come up to scratch pal then sorry but no wonder they revile you!

Well that should have just about finished off any chance of me ever meeting a female on here!

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Read the hundreds of threads asking the same questions.

The advice to newbies is always the same.

Some of which are

a, lower your expectations

b, you're not guaranteed shag on fab

c, women haven't got time to send you a polite thanks but no thanks as they would need a private secretary

D, be patient

E, attend socials and clubs

A) I had no expectations when I joined. Still don’t

B) Obviously

C) If someone has time to open a message, sending ‘no thanks’ takes about a second longer than hitting the delete or block button

D) I am patient! I’m not complaining that no one wants to meet me, just wondering why some people have no issue being rude about it

E) I will be attending a club as soon as I have the time

Thanks for replying

C) the resulting message ping ping having to explain why not to someone who hasn't read your profile takes a lot longer than a minute and often ends in abuse.

As stated in faq section which people should read on joining, then we wouldn't have threads whinging about lack of replies.

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By *ackD9 OP Man
over a year ago

shropshire

"As stated in faq section which people should read on joining, then we wouldn't have threads whinging about lack of replies. "

There’s the welcoming attitude I missed!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Read the hundreds of threads asking the same questions.

The advice to newbies is always the same.

Some of which are

a, lower your expectations

b, you're not guaranteed shag on fab

c, women haven't got time to send you a polite thanks but no thanks as they would need a private secretary

D, be patient

E, attend socials and clubs

A) I had no expectations when I joined. Still don’t

B) Obviously

C) If someone has time to open a message, sending ‘no thanks’ takes about a second longer than hitting the delete or block button

D) I am patient! I’m not complaining that no one wants to meet me, just wondering why some people have no issue being rude about it

E) I will be attending a club as soon as I have the time

Thanks for replying

C) the resulting message ping ping having to explain why not to someone who hasn't read your profile takes a lot longer than a minute and often ends in abuse.

As stated in faq section which people should read on joining, then we wouldn't have threads whinging about lack of replies. "
but if people can't be arsed reading a profile and some are very short why would they read FAQs? I've read them honest, just asking the question

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well said I’ve had enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well said I’ve had enough "
enough what?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m new to both the world of swinging and to Fab, and my first impressions are that a large number of women and couples are quite comfortable treating a single guy with contempt.

For example, sending a message seems to result in instant delete or even instant ban - and it doesn’t seem to matter how well-written or polite the message was.

They get a tonne of messages, some of the people on here are new themselves so reactions are negative. The true swingers reply to decline, just go to a club... Much nicer interactions.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

I often ask them that when I get crude messages. I generally don't hear anything back.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"As stated in faq section which people should read on joining, then we wouldn't have threads whinging about lack of replies.

There’s the welcoming attitude I missed!

I'm stating facts. But welcome to fab anyway lol.

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By *ackD9 OP Man
over a year ago

shropshire

"As stated in faq section which people should read on joining, then we wouldn't have threads whinging about lack of replies.

There’s the welcoming attitude I missed!

I'm stating facts. But welcome to fab anyway lol.

I deserved it a bit - I did read the faq, I just have a woeful memory! And thanks

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"As stated in faq section which people should read on joining, then we wouldn't have threads whinging about lack of replies.

There’s the welcoming attitude I missed!

I'm stating facts. But welcome to fab anyway lol.

I deserved it a bit - I did read the faq, I just have a woeful memory! And thanks

Welcome, there is advice on my profile for newbies as well, feel free to use it and good luck. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Am I alone in believing it’s rude not to reply? Even if you say “not interested “. I know loads of guys are on here just for a quick fuck or bj but so what. This is a sex site - just look at all the pics and the stories.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Am I alone in believing it’s rude not to reply? Even if you say “not interested “. I know loads of guys are on here just for a quick fuck or bj but so what. This is a sex site - just look at all the pics and the stories.

It's not, it's clearly stated in the faq section.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I understand the point about Frequently Asked Questions but I know the question I most frequently get asked and I bet most T girls on here have the same!

Sure we can block single men but I don’t see why I would want to do that.

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

I’ve never felt reviled on this site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bwcause we are nutters. I had "straight" men offering sex on a daily basis. One woman had over 2000 unopened messages. We are mad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve never felt reviled on this site"

Same here

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By *ackD9 OP Man
over a year ago

shropshire

Reviled might have been a bit strong...

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"Reviled might have been a bit strong...

Just at the bottom of the pecking order.

If you can establish yourself though, they come to you and you can run your account like a single female.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Reviled might have been a bit strong...

Just at the bottom of the pecking order.

If you can establish yourself though, they come to you and you can run your account like a single female."

Haha that did crack me up!

For the newbies or just new to the forums:

If you get into the pecking order mentality you will suffer. In other words don't waste time dwelling on the obvious.

Being established or not, whether anyone comes to you or not you can still run your profile exactly how you want because that is the only thing you have control of. In other words don't be a "moaner" for the wrong reasons... because nobody likes them ones.

I enjoy them apples though, part of the 5 a day routine. Different topic for another time

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"Reviled might have been a bit strong...

Just at the bottom of the pecking order.

If you can establish yourself though, they come to you and you can run your account like a single female.

Haha that did crack me up!

For the newbies or just new to the forums:

If you get into the pecking order mentality you will suffer. In other words don't waste time dwelling on the obvious.

I enjoy them apples though, part of the 5 a day routine. Different topic for another time

"
You talk a good game but where are your stats?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly don't moan be upbeat, you're advertising yourself here and although they say all adverts are good adverts in this case it's not, the forums however are but a small percentage of the sites overall membership, you'll find a niche depending on what you're looking for.

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

"As stated in faq section which people should read on joining, then we wouldn't have threads whinging about lack of replies.

There’s the welcoming attitude I missed!

I'm stating facts. But welcome to fab anyway lol.

I deserved it a bit - I did read the faq, I just have a woeful memory! And thanks

God gives the nuts but he does not crack them for you.

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"As stated in faq section which people should read on joining, then we wouldn't have threads whinging about lack of replies.

There’s the welcoming attitude I missed!

I'm stating facts. But welcome to fab anyway lol.

I deserved it a bit - I did read the faq, I just have a woeful memory! And thanks

God gives the nuts but he does not crack them for you.

"
This guy is a veteran! Take heed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What most single guys need to realise is, in most cases the male half of the couple will do the initial screening of potential play mates.

If he cares for his partner, he will be making sure that any potential play mates will show his partner respect.

So as a couple, when you get a single guy that hadn't read the profile properly and included any (small print) that shows he has read the profile... Instant block!

Or a an absolute twat that thinks sending a message of fancy a fk will get a polite response or an invite to play... really! Most single guys have no cause to whine about not getting a meets when they behave like fkin nob heads

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Reviled might have been a bit strong...

Just at the bottom of the pecking order.

If you can establish yourself though, they come to you and you can run your account like a single female.

Haha that did crack me up!

For the newbies or just new to the forums:

If you get into the pecking order mentality you will suffer. In other words don't waste time dwelling on the obvious.

I enjoy them apples though, part of the 5 a day routine. Different topic for another time

You talk a good game but where are your stats?"

Ah man! I'm a newbie I aint got no stats. I got an A in GCSE maths, but my accountants do them important stats now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As stated in faq section which people should read on joining, then we wouldn't have threads whinging about lack of replies.

There’s the welcoming attitude I missed!

I'm stating facts. But welcome to fab anyway lol.

I deserved it a bit - I did read the faq, I just have a woeful memory! And thanks

God gives the nuts but he does not crack them for you.

Pffft that did make me laugh

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"Reviled might have been a bit strong...

Just at the bottom of the pecking order.

If you can establish yourself though, they come to you and you can run your account like a single female.

Haha that did crack me up!

For the newbies or just new to the forums:

If you get into the pecking order mentality you will suffer. In other words don't waste time dwelling on the obvious.

I enjoy them apples though, part of the 5 a day routine. Different topic for another time

You talk a good game but where are your stats?

Ah man! I'm a newbie I aint got no stats. I got an A in GCSE maths, but my accountants do them important stats now."
Yeah, it just doesn't carry weight when you give advice to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Reviled might have been a bit strong...

Just at the bottom of the pecking order.

If you can establish yourself though, they come to you and you can run your account like a single female.

Haha that did crack me up!

For the newbies or just new to the forums:

If you get into the pecking order mentality you will suffer. In other words don't waste time dwelling on the obvious.

I enjoy them apples though, part of the 5 a day routine. Different topic for another time

You talk a good game but where are your stats?

Ah man! I'm a newbie I aint got no stats. I got an A in GCSE maths, but my accountants do them important stats now. Yeah, it just doesn't carry weight when you give advice to me."

I didn't give you advice... scroll up to confirm. If I was going to give you advice it would be entirely different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Alot of women on here are just here for attention, but on the other hand theres alot of women on here for chat and are actually after meeting, its just about finding them really, as a few have mentioned its all about patience and building trust, once you have gained that trust you then can take it to the next step and organise a social meet.

Alot of women do get alot stupid messages on here that are not worth reading to be fair.

Anyways just keep being yourself, be patient and you'll get that response your looking for one day.

Good Luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally the key thing is to be yourself! Don't try to be all things to everyone.

I have seen when guys would shave because the woman they like prefers clean shaven. I'm thinking dude why would you do that when the next woman you speak to prefers a beard! That applies to chest hair etc

Here is another one:

Don't lie about your height... if you aint over 6ft don't say you are in your profile. My god you do not want to be getting embarrassed at a social infront of everyone. I have witnessed that happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Totally the key thing is to be yourself! Don't try to be all things to everyone.

Here is another one:

Don't lie about your height... if you aint over 6ft don't say you are in your profile. My god you do not want to be getting embarrassed at a social infront of everyone. I have witnessed that happen."

Omg that is soooo very funny! I know I'm tallish but when taller than guys who think they are 2-3 inches taller ... it's brilliant and so very funny for me!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We're revered not reviled

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I must admit im so glad i have had my share of great experiences and fun like ten years ago now. I think starting out new and on this site is like pissing in the wind.

I still like being here for the pics and the forums. However I don't really expect to meet anyone new. That being said i can't really be bothered as i have had my fill so to speak.

Good luck in your search though.

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By *ovegames42Man
over a year ago

london

No swill always send a reply out of politeness but then I not bombarded with messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What most single guys need to realise is, in most cases the male half of the couple will do the initial screening of potential play mates.

If he cares for his partner, he will be making sure that any potential play mates will show his partner respect.

So as a couple, when you get a single guy that hadn't read the profile properly and included any (small print) that shows he has read the profile... Instant block!

This all over !!!!

And to the poster that commented “it’s a sex site”...no, it isn’t. It’s a swingers site. The clues in the name

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I don't have high expectations and I'm aware I've no picture on display and very little profile info.

But if something comes along somehow it'll be a bonus, in the meantime it's just something to look at and have a bit of harmless fantasy over.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally adore the respectful single men on here...I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for them

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By *erby DomCouple
over a year ago

Ashbourne(ish) and Chesterfield(ish)

Reviled is a very strong word and if you think that is the way that single men are thought of on here I doubt I can sway that thought.

We don't revile anyone except racists and dickheads, they fill our block list quickly and without any fuss.

It is a simple fact that there are way more guys than couples or single females on here. You therefore statistically have less of a chance of clicking with someone.

There are plenty of couples who leave me aghast with their attitude so yes I admit some do revile singles but I would like to think that they are in the minority.

We treat people fairly, be nice to us and we will be nice back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your FAB experience would be better if you adhere to things....

Make your profile pics intriguing or interesting or appealing

Make your profile intriguing or interesting or appealing

Make your messages intriguing or interesting or appealing

Fail at one of them then the chances of getting responses diminish.

So if you think your messages are intriguing or interesting or appealing then look at your pics and profile....

Single guys don’t get a bad rap on here....single guys who moan that they don’t get anywhere and don’t listen or read previous advice are the ones that are looked badly upon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m new to both the world of swinging and to Fab, and my first impressions are that a large number of women and couples are quite comfortable treating a single guy with contempt.

For example, sending a message seems to result in instant delete or even instant ban - and it doesn’t seem to matter how well-written or polite the message was.

"
you need to be under 25 if you're black even better with a cock as big as been other than that crack on there very friendly to us

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

No swill always send a reply out of politeness but then I not bombarded with messages "

Getting abuse for a no thanks, and ten messages appearing in the time you take to type one no thanks, cures you of that attitude.

I'd rather be polite as I understand it outside of Fab, but my god it's not worth it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i never remove blocks or filters.

if someone posts something on the forum that means im totally incompatible with them i block them.

your never going to meet their high standards so its a complete waste of my time messaging them.

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

"Your FAB experience would be better if you adhere to things....

Make your profile pics intriguing or interesting or appealing

Make your profile intriguing or interesting or appealing

Make your messages intriguing or interesting or appealing

Fail at one of them then the chances of getting responses diminish.

So if you think your messages are intriguing or interesting or appealing then look at your pics and profile....

Single guys don’t get a bad rap on here....single guys who moan that they don’t get anywhere and don’t listen or read previous advice are the ones that are looked badly upon. "

And if you search for honey.....expect to get stung by the bees!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally adore the respectful single men on here...I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for them"

Both of them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The site says to take no reply as a no thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your FAB experience would be better if you adhere to things....

Make your profile pics intriguing or interesting or appealing

Make your profile intriguing or interesting or appealing

Make your messages intriguing or interesting or appealing

Fail at one of them then the chances of getting responses diminish.

So if you think your messages are intriguing or interesting or appealing then look at your pics and profile....

Single guys don’t get a bad rap on here....single guys who moan that they don’t get anywhere and don’t listen or read previous advice are the ones that are looked badly upon.

And if you search for honey.....expect to get stung by the bees!"

Ffs Robert!! Man of a few words, but highly effective. You been on a role in here

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"People might look at your profile pic and decide not to reply. "

This, a lot of us aren't after meeting married men.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

But for the OP, I'm pretty equal opportunity. Most of the time, if I'm not interested, I'll just delete, for anyone. As rare as a message is from a woman, sorry, same rules apply.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"As stated in faq section which people should read on joining, then we wouldn't have threads whinging about lack of replies.

There’s the welcoming attitude I missed!

Ahhh, you wanted red carpet and a choice of any woman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Totally the key thing is to be yourself! Don't try to be all things to everyone.

Here is another one:

Don't lie about your height... if you aint over 6ft don't say you are in your profile. My god you do not want to be getting embarrassed at a social infront of everyone. I have witnessed that happen.

Omg that is soooo very funny! I know I'm tallish but when taller than guys who think they are 2-3 inches taller ... it's brilliant and so very funny for me!! "

Haha I was at a venue with a friend years ago and she is tall so likes her man to be tall especially when she is wearing heels. She had told a guy to meet there for a chat and chance to meet in person. He told her he was over 6ft... when he turned up he was more like 5'8" I kid you not all she said to him was "where is the rest of you!?" Infront of a group of people we been chatting to and the awkward silence... you could hear a pin drop! He looked to the floor and walked off. I felt bad and was in shock, but there is no point making things up.

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"Totally the key thing is to be yourself! Don't try to be all things to everyone.

Here is another one:

Don't lie about your height... if you aint over 6ft don't say you are in your profile. My god you do not want to be getting embarrassed at a social infront of everyone. I have witnessed that happen."

Beefcake

thats all I have to add right now

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By *ovegames42Man
over a year ago

london

"Your FAB experience would be better if you adhere to things....

Make your profile pics intriguing or interesting or appealing

Make your profile intriguing or interesting or appealing

Make your messages intriguing or interesting or appealing

I have started noticing that singles guys will moan that a club was crap, yes it would be if you sit on your ass in the corner all night and not making the affort to converse with others this lifestyle is no different to any other social gathering, so why think because you have paid your entrance fee remakes are going to be falling over you, get real fabs or vanilla we’re all still only human

Fail at one of them then the chances of getting responses diminish.

So if you think your messages are intriguing or interesting or appealing then look at your pics and profile....

Single guys don’t get a bad rap on here....single guys who moan that they don’t get anywhere and don’t listen or read previous advice are the ones that are looked badly upon.

And if you search for honey.....expect to get stung by the bees!

Ffs Robert!! Man of a few words, but highly effective. You been on a role in here

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"As stated in faq section which people should read on joining, then we wouldn't have threads whinging about lack of replies.

There’s the welcoming attitude I missed!

Ahhh, you wanted red carpet and a choice of any woman

Silly. Didn't you read the secret woman bit on Fab? Being on this site means you've signed an unbreakable legal contract and religious oath to fuck any guy who wants you. It's the law!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No idea. I'm only here for a FAB...Friend And Benefits with a single guy.

Single men have just as much right being on here as couples and single women do.

There are filters to block men if no one likes single guys being on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

are they?

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By *eddonistikMan
over a year ago

Manchester

I'll admit I've not read the rest of the thread so pretty much a male driver who doesn't ask for directions. However mostly I have never really had problems with couples or single women, both of which groups I have had happy meets with.

Just go along with their conditions although some couples will say single men we will contact you but ask for GBs. Most of which are organised by single men, the old rule still works. You ask you get your face slapped a lot but you do get more shags. Just do it politely and it probably won't go badly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No idea. I'm only here for a FAB...Friend And Benefits with a single guy.

Single men have just as much right being on here as couples and single women do.

There are filters to block men if no one likes single guys being on here."

I've blocked everybody. It's sooo peaceful, tranquil even....

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By *ackD9 OP Man
over a year ago

shropshire

"As stated in faq section which people should read on joining, then we wouldn't have threads whinging about lack of replies.

There’s the welcoming attitude I missed!

Ahhh, you wanted red carpet and a choice of any woman

Silly. Didn't you read the secret woman bit on Fab? Being on this site means you've signed an unbreakable legal contract and religious oath to fuck any guy who wants you. It's the law! "

I’m not sure how I’ve managed to make you think that I’ve joined a site like this expecting the first woman I message to instantly open her vagina for my immediate and continued use, but that isn’t the case at all; mainly because I’m not a moron.

I’m get that you have to put up with a lot of shit, but you probably shouldn’t automatically tar every new ‘single’ male member with the same brush until they give you cause to do so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I quite like single men

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