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Men who can't perform

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By *exyfuncouple74 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Eastbourne

There appear to be a number of male partners of couples on here who just cannot maintain (or even get) an erection and perhaps are swinging to ensure their spouse is 'taken care of'.

Extremely frustrating......

What is your experience of this?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why is it frustrating?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

chances are the ear ache is stopping his obtaining an erection

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"chances are the ear ache is stopping his obtaining an erection"

Or may be medical

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't get why it would be a frustration for anyone as long as the couple were open about it (either in their profile or in messages)

It would only be a frustration if it wasn't mentioned at all, they met a couple for full swap and things didn't 'pop up' so to speak

That said, men are not robots. I know if I'm not in the mood or something doesn't feel right, no way on earth will anything happen down there

So, it could be different to how you imagine it to be ...

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By *oubledongWoman
over a year ago

Headington, Oxford

A lot of the men that are doing this for the first time seem to have a problem with nerves getting the better of them.

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By *adrarfjordr VoyeurMan
over a year ago

Waterford


"Why is it frustrating?"

Presumably because the lady from the other couple is not getting looked after

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By *erynaughtyMan
over a year ago

Derby


"There appear to be a number of male partners of couples on here who just cannot maintain (or even get) an erection and perhaps are swinging to ensure their spouse is 'taken care of'.

Extremely frustrating......

What is your experience of this?

I think that's when they realise that they are cucks

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There appear to be a number of male partners of couples on here who just cannot maintain (or even get) an erection and perhaps are swinging to ensure their spouse is 'taken care of'.

Extremely frustrating......

What is your experience of this?

"

There are a few, could be other reasons though, maybe the guy is only going with the woman to keep his wife happy and doesn't fancy the other woman when it gets going, or her smell or many other things that can turn a guy off. A guy taking one for the team is in a massively more difficult place than the woman. I've been there a very few times and sometimes it's just not going to happen. All the woman needs in that situation is some lube.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am sure its nothing like that.

Mr didn't perform in his first two meets because of he was new to the scene and never been with any other lady for a long long time.

Sometimes man cannot perform in front of an audience, especially his wife or partner watching.

There may be a minority of men who have erection issue and they look for only single men mostly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am sure its nothing like that.

Mr didn't perform in his first two meets because of he was new to the scene and never been with any other lady for a long long time.

Sometimes man cannot perform in front of an audience, especially his wife or partner watching.

There may be a minority of men who have erection issue and they look for only single men mostly. "

I doubt its that, probably just doesn't fancy her. It's not compulsory. Plenty of women at clubs I wouldnt be hard for, and even more I'm massively hard for. Judy need to pick the right ones and don't take one for the team.

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"There appear to be a number of male partners of couples on here who just cannot maintain (or even get) an erection and perhaps are swinging to ensure their spouse is 'taken care of'.

Extremely frustrating......

What is your experience of this?

"

Not frustrating at all if you make sure the couples you meet are both looking to play .

We always made it clear that I probably wouldn’t want to play as I prefer to watch .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There appear to be a number of male partners of couples on here who just cannot maintain (or even get) an erection and perhaps are swinging to ensure their spouse is 'taken care of'.

Extremely frustrating......

What is your experience of this? I never had a problem in getting a hard on and I always made women cum

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There appear to be a number of male partners of couples on here who just cannot maintain (or even get) an erection and perhaps are swinging to ensure their spouse is 'taken care of'.

Extremely frustrating......

What is your experience of this?

"

It happens but it's just nerves. It doesn't bother us and often find that patients and understanding sorts it out x

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"There appear to be a number of male partners of couples on here who just cannot maintain (or even get) an erection and perhaps are swinging to ensure their spouse is 'taken care of'.

Extremely frustrating......

What is your experience of this?

There are a few, could be other reasons though, maybe the guy is only going with the woman to keep his wife happy and doesn't fancy the other woman when it gets going, or her smell or many other things that can turn a guy off. A guy taking one for the team is in a massively more difficult place than the woman. I've been there a very few times and sometimes it's just not going to happen. All the woman needs in that situation is some lube. "

This is very much the case , and the main reason I prefer not to play

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By *ampshirehotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire

Some men just can't 'perform' with an audience.

It has nothing to do with how he 'looks after' his wife.

That is a very presumptious thing to say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some men just can't 'perform' with an audience.

It has nothing to do with how he 'looks after' his wife.

That is a very presumptious thing to say.

"

This is true

Good point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of men would get very nervous and when that happens bang no erection

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By *xtrafun4youMan
over a year ago

Dunstable


"There appear to be a number of male partners of couples on here who just cannot maintain (or even get) an erection and perhaps are swinging to ensure their spouse is 'taken care of'.

Extremely frustrating......

What is your experience of this?

"
Had stage fright before. But I have fingers and a tongue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some men just can't 'perform' with an audience.

It has nothing to do with how he 'looks after' his wife.

That is a very presumptious thing to say.

"
as this happen to you when a man can’t preform just asking ?

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

It can happen to the best of men. I have played with couples and females no problem. I played with the same people at a later time, I don’t perform as well; sometimes it’s tiredness, sometimes it’s what I have eaten, sometimes it could be because I haven’t had a pre wank. There is no Ryhme or reason

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By *ortobello SionnachWoman
over a year ago

Dublin


"It can happen to the best of men. I have played with couples and females no problem. I played with the same people at a later time, I don’t perform as well; sometimes it’s tiredness, sometimes it’s what I have eaten, sometimes it could be because I haven’t had a pre wank. There is no Ryhme or reason "

Thats true have see guys who can perform one day in a club and not others due to various reasons. I know one guy that really gets nervous and drinks 135mls of vodka and he is fine any more or any less not a chance. There are various reasons you can't put it down to one rabbit in one hat.

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By *vgloryholebs16TV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol.

0P...Is 'the frustration'from the female perspective ??

I am not really understanding what you mean..

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By *ampshirehotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire


"Some men just can't 'perform' with an audience.

It has nothing to do with how he 'looks after' his wife.

That is a very presumptious thing to say.

as this happen to you when a man can’t preform just asking ?"

It has happened on a couple of occasions with my husband when we've met couples and also guys that I have met...

I don't find it frustrating.

The worse thing to do is ridicule them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There appear to be a number of male partners of couples on here who just cannot maintain (or even get) an erection and perhaps are swinging to ensure their spouse is 'taken care of'.

Extremely frustrating......

What is your experience of this?

"

It’s probably even more frustrating for the men concerned.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

- 30% probability can't perform with an audience

- 25% probability the woman is doing jack shit to help him get hard, even viagra doesn't work without mental stimulation

- 20% probability he's thinking about why he can't get hard and it's a downwards spiral

- 15% probability he doesn't fancy the woman or she has a fishy fanny

- 10% probability he's thinking more about what his partner is doing, than the task at hand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"- 30% probability can't perform with an audience

- 25% probability the woman is doing jack shit to help him get hard, even viagra doesn't work without mental stimulation

- 20% probability he's thinking about why he can't get hard and it's a downwards spiral

- 15% probability he doesn't fancy the woman or she has a fishy fanny

- 10% probability he's thinking more about what his partner is doing, than the task at hand

"

Also most husbands can’t get hard with condoms.....

Imagine not using a condom for 10 years and then having to use one with a new partner. Plus add a audience....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to meet a couple whose male had issues following a medical matter. He wanted to be involved in scenarios where his wife's physical needs were met, yet still intimate. It was wonderful to be part of that intimacy and so much more than a fuck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"- 30% probability can't perform with an audience

- 25% probability the woman is doing jack shit to help him get hard, even viagra doesn't work without mental stimulation

- 20% probability he's thinking about why he can't get hard and it's a downwards spiral

- 15% probability he doesn't fancy the woman or she has a fishy fanny

- 10% probability he's thinking more about what his partner is doing, than the task at hand

"

100% of this is made up on the spot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Husband can't always perform. We're open about it in our profile. He always joins in though in the ways he can and loves it.

Those choosing to meet us have the informed choice.

I don't get frustrated if a man (single or part of the couple) joining us can't quite perform. There are so many reasons for it to happen. Don't see how anybody could expect a "hard on" to be a guaranteed deal.

Mrs

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By *BWarksCouple
over a year ago

warwick

This is a good post for all guys to read ..... it happens to all at times , has happened here to and made me realise that there does need to be a good mental click with the other women, no good if she just looks great, I need to know she likes me too and not just going though the motions, that doesn’t make me feel comfortable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have the problem of men not wanting to cum. Sasha gives an amazing BJ and the guys get there too quick and move away. We would rather they popped when ready, took a breath, reloaded and got back into the game.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Us men are very delicate creatures and need to be handled with care.

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By *m3232Man
over a year ago

maidenhead

Luckily for myself never been a problem as easy for to get hard even in front of a audience.

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

I don’t think women appreciate the pressure men are under and it affects how they perform. Tiredness, alcohol, drugs, prescribed medication, stress, nerves, anxiety, depression, medical conditions, etc are all factors in whether a guy can get an erection or not.

It’s how we deal with the situation that can either still make it a great time or even more of a disaster for the guy. As someone else said he still has fingers and a tongue! Or you can use toys. A guy may be disappointed that he can’t pleasure a woman with his cock but will still retain some confidence and self esteem if he can pleasure her in other ways.

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow


" I don’t think women appreciate the pressure men are under and it affects how they perform. Tiredness, alcohol, drugs, prescribed medication, stress, nerves, anxiety, depression, medical conditions, etc are all factors in whether a guy can get an erection or not.

It’s how we deal with the situation that can either still make it a great time or even more of a disaster for the guy. As someone else said he still has fingers and a tongue! Or you can use toys. A guy may be disappointed that he can’t pleasure a woman with his cock but will still retain some confidence and self esteem if he can pleasure her in other ways. "

agreed toys are always part of my play kit for that reason

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


" I don’t think women appreciate the pressure men are under and it affects how they perform. Tiredness, alcohol, drugs, prescribed medication, stress, nerves, anxiety, depression, medical conditions, etc are all factors in whether a guy can get an erection or not.

It’s how we deal with the situation that can either still make it a great time or even more of a disaster for the guy. As someone else said he still has fingers and a tongue! Or you can use toys. A guy may be disappointed that he can’t pleasure a woman with his cock but will still retain some confidence and self esteem if he can pleasure her in other ways. "

No more needs to be said - this sums it up perfectly - it happens, dealt with the wrong way and it can lead to frustration, disappointment, anxiety and much more - dealt with the right way with compassion and finding other ways to have fun and 9/10 once the guy relaxes normal service is resumed, and even if it's not and if both people deal with it sensibly and sensitively there's still plenty more on the menu.

I think all too often guys are their own worst enemy when it happens, I know I have been, they get anxious, start huffing and puffing and put pressure on themselves and when that happens no amount of stimulation is going to work.

The best thing to do is try and forget about it, relax and carry on with other things until the moment is right.

Same goes for premature ejaculation which is the other thing we put pressure on ourselves for - it's not if it happens that is the problem, it's how we deal with it when it does.

Not being able to get hard on or cumming quickly doesn't have to mean game over - I know my body well enough to know what works and what doesn't and with good communication, a sensitive partner and being able to take time to get relaxed I know it works as well as the next person.

I also think a site like this can unduly put pressure on, as the perception is that we're all supposed to be superstuds that can bang like rabbits for hours on end but that actually couldn't be further from the truth and even though this has not, I suspect, panned out the way the OP was intending with their assumptions, I applaud the other responses to the thread.

And I started off by saying no more needed to be said and have waffled on for long enough now despite it!!

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"- 30% probability can't perform with an audience

- 25% probability the woman is doing jack shit to help him get hard, even viagra doesn't work without mental stimulation

- 20% probability he's thinking about why he can't get hard and it's a downwards spiral

- 15% probability he doesn't fancy the woman or she has a fishy fanny

- 10% probability he's thinking more about what his partner is doing, than the task at hand

Also most husbands can’t get hard with condoms.....

Imagine not using a condom for 10 years and then having to use one with a new partner. Plus add a audience...."

Good point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" I don’t think women appreciate the pressure men are under and it affects how they perform. Tiredness, alcohol, drugs, prescribed medication, stress, nerves, anxiety, depression, medical conditions, etc are all factors in whether a guy can get an erection or not.

It’s how we deal with the situation that can either still make it a great time or even more of a disaster for the guy. As someone else said he still has fingers and a tongue! Or you can use toys. A guy may be disappointed that he can’t pleasure a woman with his cock but will still retain some confidence and self esteem if he can pleasure her in other ways. "

Very well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There appear to be a number of male partners of couples on here who just cannot maintain (or even get) an erection and perhaps are swinging to ensure their spouse is 'taken care of'.

Extremely frustrating......

What is your experience of this?

"

Not just Male half of a couple we've had it with single guys too.

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By *ampshirehotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire


"Husband can't always perform. We're open about it in our profile. He always joins in though in the ways he can and loves it.

Those choosing to meet us have the informed choice.

I don't get frustrated if a man (single or part of the couple) joining us can't quite perform. There are so many reasons for it to happen. Don't see how anybody could expect a "hard on" to be a guaranteed deal.

Mrs"

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


" I don’t think women appreciate the pressure men are under and it affects how they perform. Tiredness, alcohol, drugs, prescribed medication, stress, nerves, anxiety, depression, medical conditions, etc are all factors in whether a guy can get an erection or not.

It’s how we deal with the situation that can either still make it a great time or even more of a disaster for the guy. As someone else said he still has fingers and a tongue! Or you can use toys. A guy may be disappointed that he can’t pleasure a woman with his cock but will still retain some confidence and self esteem if he can pleasure her in other ways. "

We don't play with 'no kissing' couples because it makes it too hard to get an erection with a condom as well. What really helps are things that take your mind off your limp dick and only a sexy thought. A nice long kiss, she whispers into your ear or grinds against you. But in reality so women lie in the starfish position and glance at the clock behind you.

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By *MNJCouple
over a year ago

Nuneaton


"Also most husbands can’t get hard with condoms.....

Imagine not using a condom for 10 years and then having to use one with a new partner. Plus add a audience...."

This! Condoms are a massive boner killer for me. I could get by one on one with them but to do so in a group situation required a little practice.

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

At a rough estimate we have had well over a thousand meets in the eight years that we have been swinging . And I can’t recall a guy we’ve met having a problem . That’s dogging , public , clubs , parties , and for a while even cottaging sites . So certainly not the most salubrious of surroundings . Add to that the fact that we were very often the first meet for many men and you will realise that all these circumstances put together should ( according to this thread anyway ) have led to a steady stream of guys unable to get it up . So why didn’t it ?

Well either we were bloody lucky , or my mrs knew exactly what buttons to push to get them comfortable ? We ended up playing way more in outdoor and public places for the last few years , and this probably helped as we never met a d*unk person . That alone eliminates a high % of limp dick problems .

Guys who travel to an outdoor spot know exactly what it’s all about . We had it on our profile that we weren’t interested in meeting guys who couldn’t get hard , and guys who struggled to cum . That eliminates a lot more .

As for guys bringing toys and having fingers and a tongue . Well that’s fine for women who want that ( quite why I have no idea , toys ? If it comes to guys taking toys as he can’t get a hard on then the woman may aswell stay at home and sort herself out ffs) but we always made it clear that my wife loves a stiff cock and she loves cum too ( perhaps that’s another reason we never had a problem as the majority of women on here seem to hate it ! ) , so I would suggest that if you make it clear on your profile what you are after , get a few decent verification outlining the style of play you enjoy , and use your intuition as to what the guy likes , you’ll get what you’re after .

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By *picy2Couple
over a year ago

essex


" I don’t think women appreciate the pressure men are under and it affects how they perform. Tiredness, alcohol, drugs, prescribed medication, stress, nerves, anxiety, depression, medical conditions, etc are all factors in whether a guy can get an erection or not.

It’s how we deal with the situation that can either still make it a great time or even more of a disaster for the guy. As someone else said he still has fingers and a tongue! Or you can use toys. A guy may be disappointed that he can’t pleasure a woman with his cock but will still retain some confidence and self esteem if he can pleasure her in other ways. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There appear to be a number of male partners of couples on here who just cannot maintain (or even get) an erection and perhaps are swinging to ensure their spouse is 'taken care of'.

Extremely frustrating......

What is your experience of this?

Not just Male half of a couple we've had it with single guys too."

Basically men then ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There appear to be a number of male partners of couples on here who just cannot maintain (or even get) an erection and perhaps are swinging to ensure their spouse is 'taken care of'.

Extremely frustrating......

What is your experience of this?

"

There are two types of non performers, those who give up and leave the lady (or guy) alone, and those who make sure that the partner has a great time. 50% of all men over 40 have some for of erectile dysfunction, it doesn't mean that you have to be shit in bed though. Same with men who used to fuck my wife for thirty seconds and then leave her gagging for it and just walk off, you could still take care of them.

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex

Or it could be that maybe the guys just aren’t feeling it with the fem from the other couple but doesn’t want to call a halt if his partner is enjoying herself

If the attraction isn’t there it’s harder for the guy to hide it

Not every guy just wants any pussy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Or it could be that maybe the guys just aren’t feeling it with the fem from the other couple but doesn’t want to call a halt if his partner is enjoying herself

If the attraction isn’t there it’s harder for the guy to hide it

Not every guy just wants any pussy "

Exactly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Speaking personally this is a great thread for guys - i am glad this has been posted as i thought it was just me who sometimes has a little problem.

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

Can I ask a question here ?

If you’re a guy who has problems staying or getting hard , do you seriously put yourself out there , and meet up with women who are looking for a good seeing to ?

As I said in an earlier post , I don’t , as I struggle , and when we are meeting that’s made clear on our profile . It’s reiterated pre meet so everyone is clear that it’s my wife that’s the player here , and not me .

What do you guys do or say , or do you just hope for the best ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can I ask a question here ?

If you’re a guy who has problems staying or getting hard , do you seriously put yourself out there , and meet up with women who are looking for a good seeing to ?

As I said in an earlier post , I don’t , as I struggle , and when we are meeting that’s made clear on our profile . It’s reiterated pre meet so everyone is clear that it’s my wife that’s the player here , and not me .

What do you guys do or say , or do you just hope for the best ?"

Usually yes, I always have sex with my finger crossed hoping for the best

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow


"At a rough estimate we have had well over a thousand meets in the eight years that we have been swinging . And I can’t recall a guy we’ve met having a problem . That’s dogging , public , clubs , parties , and for a while even cottaging sites . So certainly not the most salubrious of surroundings . Add to that the fact that we were very often the first meet for many men and you will realise that all these circumstances put together should ( according to this thread anyway ) have led to a steady stream of guys unable to get it up . So why didn’t it ?

Well either we were bloody lucky , or my mrs knew exactly what buttons to push to get them comfortable ? We ended up playing way more in outdoor and public places for the last few years , and this probably helped as we never met a d*unk person . That alone eliminates a high % of limp dick problems .

Guys who travel to an outdoor spot know exactly what it’s all about . We had it on our profile that we weren’t interested in meeting guys who couldn’t get hard , and guys who struggled to cum . That eliminates a lot more .

As for guys bringing toys and having fingers and a tongue . Well that’s fine for women who want that ( quite why I have no idea , toys ? If it comes to guys taking toys as he can’t get a hard on then the woman may aswell stay at home and sort herself out ffs) but we always made it clear that my wife loves a stiff cock and she loves cum too ( perhaps that’s another reason we never had a problem as the majority of women on here seem to hate it ! ) , so I would suggest that if you make it clear on your profile what you are after , get a few decent verification outlining the style of play you enjoy , and use your intuition as to what the guy likes , you’ll get what you’re after ."

I have a toy bag; small bullet vibrator, and longer one. Sometimes in a club I am playing with someone quickly after I have just finished playing with someone else, I need reload time. So sometimes the toys gives me the

Opertunity to reload whilst still pleasuring lady

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes it just doesn't work, no reason. Happened twice to me in the last 5 years or so, so rare.

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"At a rough estimate we have had well over a thousand meets in the eight years that we have been swinging . And I can’t recall a guy we’ve met having a problem . That’s dogging , public , clubs , parties , and for a while even cottaging sites . So certainly not the most salubrious of surroundings . Add to that the fact that we were very often the first meet for many men and you will realise that all these circumstances put together should ( according to this thread anyway ) have led to a steady stream of guys unable to get it up . So why didn’t it ?

Well either we were bloody lucky , or my mrs knew exactly what buttons to push to get them comfortable ? We ended up playing way more in outdoor and public places for the last few years , and this probably helped as we never met a d*unk person . That alone eliminates a high % of limp dick problems .

Guys who travel to an outdoor spot know exactly what it’s all about . We had it on our profile that we weren’t interested in meeting guys who couldn’t get hard , and guys who struggled to cum . That eliminates a lot more .

As for guys bringing toys and having fingers and a tongue . Well that’s fine for women who want that ( quite why I have no idea , toys ? If it comes to guys taking toys as he can’t get a hard on then the woman may aswell stay at home and sort herself out ffs) but we always made it clear that my wife loves a stiff cock and she loves cum too ( perhaps that’s another reason we never had a problem as the majority of women on here seem to hate it ! ) , so I would suggest that if you make it clear on your profile what you are after , get a few decent verification outlining the style of play you enjoy , and use your intuition as to what the guy likes , you’ll get what you’re after .

I have a toy bag; small bullet vibrator, and longer one. Sometimes in a club I am playing with someone quickly after I have just finished playing with someone else, I need reload time. So sometimes the toys gives me the

Opertunity to reload whilst still pleasuring lady "

Be careful with all this playing with someone straight after someone else business ! There are plenty on here who don’t want to be seen as a notch , and would be shocked by such behaviour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sometimes it just doesn't work, no reason. Happened twice to me in the last 5 years or so, so rare, but thanks God, Fabulous And Bearded was there to give the woman the time of her life.

"

You're welcome dude. Happy to help a cockmate in need

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By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman
over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire


"There appear to be a number of male partners of couples on here who just cannot maintain (or even get) an erection and perhaps are swinging to ensure their spouse is 'taken care of'.

Extremely frustrating......

What is your experience of this?

It’s probably even more frustrating for the men concerned. "

It is.

I can't live without sex but neither can my fella, unfortunately he has ED because of a medical condition and his tablets for that can also cause it. He knew from the start that i wanted to cuckold someone so it should've been ideal, except we do want sex with each other. We're seeing what can be done, even if he is able to have sex he won't want it at the frequency i do so the cuckolding will still happen and he's already given me he go ahead now.

And he can still please me too, just not with his cock.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can I ask a question here ?

If you’re a guy who has problems staying or getting hard , do you seriously put yourself out there , and meet up with women who are looking for a good seeing to ?

As I said in an earlier post , I don’t , as I struggle , and when we are meeting that’s made clear on our profile . It’s reiterated pre meet so everyone is clear that it’s my wife that’s the player here , and not me .

What do you guys do or say , or do you just hope for the best ?"

As a guy , you really don’t know this is going to happen until you show up....

It happened to me once....

I got a message around 1am... I showed up the wife was not interested... the husband told me to whip it out to show her. She still wasn’t interested.... then I said thank you and good bye....

Men don’t know what they are getting into until they show up...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never had any problems in my entire life with no getting an erection.mif anything it's the coming too quick I've always hated...yes I can come again..and again if the situation calls for it but it's the initial ejaculation.. grrrrrr

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By *ay19720Man
over a year ago

Ashford kent

Ive had it happen. U go there stiff..then nerves and he aint hard rite away you then u get embarrassed. .then frustrated. .and all thats going on in 2 minnie secs in yr head..and mr fella aint working. ..you can't get yr head in the game.........ive left got home and boom he up..lol

I find a good build up ..plenty of forplay..and let the mind think only of sex....also some women dont even want to kiss....let u put yr dick in them but no kissing..lol thats just for hubby..lol..ok..

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By *ay19720Man
over a year ago

Ashford kent


"Or it could be that maybe the guys just aren’t feeling it with the fem from the other couple but doesn’t want to call a halt if his partner is enjoying herself

If the attraction isn’t there it’s harder for the guy to hide it

Not every guy just wants any pussy "

I agree..ive been too a rushed meet and the couple were already ahead shall we say..but I just didn't fancy the lady..ok for 5 min then in truth..me heart weren't in it...lol I just ducked out..lol

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne


"There appear to be a number of male partners of couples on here who just cannot maintain (or even get) an erection and perhaps are swinging to ensure their spouse is 'taken care of'.

Extremely frustrating......

What is your experience of this?

"

Guys not been able to perform can be for many reasons. Most guys will if they have had a few meets been in the situation where it is just not happening and that can be for many reasons. Nerves, distractions to name but a few.

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne


"Or it could be that maybe the guys just aren’t feeling it with the fem from the other couple but doesn’t want to call a halt if his partner is enjoying herself

If the attraction isn’t there it’s harder for the guy to hide it

Not every guy just wants any pussy

I agree..ive been too a rushed meet and the couple were already ahead shall we say..but I just didn't fancy the lady..ok for 5 min then in truth..me heart weren't in it...lol I just ducked out..lol "

This happened to me last weekend at a party I didn't really fancy any of the ladies but was still having a lovely time chatting, Mrs T was getting on great with a guy from a couple and had recognized that I was not interested in playing so asked if I minded if she did.

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex


"Or it could be that maybe the guys just aren’t feeling it with the fem from the other couple but doesn’t want to call a halt if his partner is enjoying herself

If the attraction isn’t there it’s harder for the guy to hide it

Not every guy just wants any pussy

I agree..ive been too a rushed meet and the couple were already ahead shall we say..but I just didn't fancy the lady..ok for 5 min then in truth..me heart weren't in it...lol I just ducked out..lol

This happened to me last weekend at a party I didn't really fancy any of the ladies but was still having a lovely time chatting, Mrs T was getting on great with a guy from a couple and had recognized that I was not interested in playing so asked if I minded if she did. "

Women seem to automatically assume that men will want them in play scenarios and that only women can be picky

I personally find it hot when I see a man turn down other ladies that don’t appeal to them rather than any hole a goal

I would never be offended if I was not someone type

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By *ay19720Man
over a year ago

Ashford kent


"Or it could be that maybe the guys just aren’t feeling it with the fem from the other couple but doesn’t want to call a halt if his partner is enjoying herself

If the attraction isn’t there it’s harder for the guy to hide it

Not every guy just wants any pussy

I agree..ive been too a rushed meet and the couple were already ahead shall we say..but I just didn't fancy the lady..ok for 5 min then in truth..me heart weren't in it...lol I just ducked out..lol

This happened to me last weekend at a party I didn't really fancy any of the ladies but was still having a lovely time chatting, Mrs T was getting on great with a guy from a couple and had recognized that I was not interested in playing so asked if I minded if she did.

Women seem to automatically assume that men will want them in play scenarios and that only women can be picky

I personally find it hot when I see a man turn down other ladies that don’t appeal to them rather than any hole a goal

I would never be offended if I was not someone type "

Lol you come across as a strong women and would prob scare the shit out of most guys..lol...

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex


"Or it could be that maybe the guys just aren’t feeling it with the fem from the other couple but doesn’t want to call a halt if his partner is enjoying herself

If the attraction isn’t there it’s harder for the guy to hide it

Not every guy just wants any pussy

I agree..ive been too a rushed meet and the couple were already ahead shall we say..but I just didn't fancy the lady..ok for 5 min then in truth..me heart weren't in it...lol I just ducked out..lol

This happened to me last weekend at a party I didn't really fancy any of the ladies but was still having a lovely time chatting, Mrs T was getting on great with a guy from a couple and had recognized that I was not interested in playing so asked if I minded if she did.

Women seem to automatically assume that men will want them in play scenarios and that only women can be picky

I personally find it hot when I see a man turn down other ladies that don’t appeal to them rather than any hole a goal

I would never be offended if I was not someone type

Lol you come across as a strong women and would prob scare the shit out of most guys..lol... "

Haha actually quite the opposite ... in reality I push myself to be confident

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By *ungmagic10Man
over a year ago

Northampton

I've heard it happens, haven't had any personal experience with it though. I remember my first couple meet, I did not want that to happen to me so when the action started i kept my eyes on the lady alone. And if anyone was wondering, they were a cuck couple so hubby was in the corner video taping

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral


"I've heard it happens, haven't had any personal experience with it though. I remember my first couple meet, I did not want that to happen to me so when the action started i kept my eyes on the lady alone. And if anyone was wondering, they were a cuck couple so hubby was in the corner video taping "
Yeah like a horse with blinkers on, I'm the same. You have to get in the zone so to speak like athletes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes women don't help. For instance, a woman who just lies there and a woman who is busy touching herself may get different results.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There appear to be a number of male partners of couples on here who just cannot maintain (or even get) an erection and perhaps are swinging to ensure their spouse is 'taken care of'.

Extremely frustrating......

What is your experience of this?

"

When I started swinging I seemed to get quite a few guys with this problem.

Now my confidence has grown I haven’t had a guy who can’t get it up in years....

perhaps the non confident me didn’t turn guys on.

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley


" I don’t think women appreciate the pressure men are under and it affects how they perform. Tiredness, alcohol, drugs, prescribed medication, stress, nerves, anxiety, depression, medical conditions, etc are all factors in whether a guy can get an erection or not.

It’s how we deal with the situation that can either still make it a great time or even more of a disaster for the guy. As someone else said he still has fingers and a tongue! Or you can use toys. A guy may be disappointed that he can’t pleasure a woman with his cock but will still retain some confidence and self esteem if he can pleasure her in other ways.

We don't play with 'no kissing' couples because it makes it too hard to get an erection with a condom as well. What really helps are things that take your mind off your limp dick and only a sexy thought. A nice long kiss, she whispers into your ear or grinds against you. But in reality so women lie in the starfish position and glance at the clock behind you. "

I’d happily spend ages kissing. Great kissing can be very stimulating.

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By *heshireguy69Man
over a year ago

saddleworth


" I don’t think women appreciate the pressure men are under and it affects how they perform. Tiredness, alcohol, drugs, prescribed medication, stress, nerves, anxiety, depression, medical conditions, etc are all factors in whether a guy can get an erection or not.

It’s how we deal with the situation that can either still make it a great time or even more of a disaster for the guy. As someone else said he still has fingers and a tongue! Or you can use toys. A guy may be disappointed that he can’t pleasure a woman with his cock but will still retain some confidence and self esteem if he can pleasure her in other ways.

We don't play with 'no kissing' couples because it makes it too hard to get an erection with a condom as well. What really helps are things that take your mind off your limp dick and only a sexy thought. A nice long kiss, she whispers into your ear or grinds against you. But in reality so women lie in the starfish position and glance at the clock behind you.

I’d happily spend ages kissing. Great kissing can be very stimulating. "

Agreed. For me nothing happens without kissing.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Walk a mile in their shoes or whatever that saying is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sometimes women don't help. For instance, a woman who just lies there and a woman who is busy touching herself may get different results. "

Yeah. I have a REALLY bad habit when I’m nervous of trying to engage the guy in conversation while he’s pumping away. I KNOW it’s not helpful but sometimes I can’t help myself. So to anyone reading this that has experienced my nervous mid-coitus chatter, I apologise.

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By *onny69sMan
over a year ago

Donny

Its happened to me in the past. Mainly it's the condom thing for me. After being in a long term relationship so I didn't need them.

I find it works better with lots of kissing and foreplay instead of just a wham bam meet.

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By *hoenix CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northallerton

We would love to find a couple where the guy just wants to watch

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By *ovelifelovefuntimesMan
over a year ago

Where ever I lay my hat

Find it difficult sometimes in mmf with couples where the hubby cannot get hard, definitely find it adds a bit of tension.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I Jez struggle with not being able to obtain an erection because I had prostate cancer. My ED is being treated and hopefully will be resolved. We prefer to meet bi fem couples at the moment. But we always let others couples know are situation and the very beginning.

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By *rated-BaconMan
over a year ago

medway

100% anxiety personally

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By *ungmagic10Man
over a year ago

Northampton


"I've heard it happens, haven't had any personal experience with it though. I remember my first couple meet, I did not want that to happen to me so when the action started i kept my eyes on the lady alone. And if anyone was wondering, they were a cuck couple so hubby was in the corner video taping Yeah like a horse with blinkers on, I'm the same. You have to get in the zone so to speak like athletes."

That was a perfect example, just to stay focused.

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral


"I've heard it happens, haven't had any personal experience with it though. I remember my first couple meet, I did not want that to happen to me so when the action started i kept my eyes on the lady alone. And if anyone was wondering, they were a cuck couple so hubby was in the corner video taping Yeah like a horse with blinkers on, I'm the same. You have to get in the zone so to speak like athletes.

That was a perfect example, just to stay focused."
thanks thought so myself

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By *hoenix CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northallerton

We would love to find a couple where the guy just wants to watch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"- 30% probability can't perform with an audience

- 25% probability the woman is doing jack shit to help him get hard, even viagra doesn't work without mental stimulation

- 20% probability he's thinking about why he can't get hard and it's a downwards spiral

- 15% probability he doesn't fancy the woman or she has a fishy fanny

- 10% probability he's thinking more about what his partner is doing, than the task at hand

Also most husbands can’t get hard with condoms.....

Imagine not using a condom for 10 years and then having to use one with a new partner. Plus add a audience...."

Condom's have been an issue for me on the past.all fine until it is put on. Then when you start thinking about getting hard, you can't and this can lead to problems the next time. Most men have been there. If the OP feels frustrated, imagine how the man feels.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There appear to be a number of male partners of couples on here who just cannot maintain (or even get) an erection and perhaps are swinging to ensure their spouse is 'taken care of'.

Extremely frustrating......

What is your experience of this?

"

There appears to be a number of people making assumptions on here.

Extremely frustrating......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's much harder for guys. With nerves it can be hard to get hard. Women have it that bit easier. Even with nerves all we really have to do is open our legs

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By *ntriguedmixedguyMan
over a year ago

moss side


"There appear to be a number of male partners of couples on here who just cannot maintain (or even get) an erection and perhaps are swinging to ensure their spouse is 'taken care of'.

Extremely frustrating......

What is your experience of this?

When I started swinging I seemed to get quite a few guys with this problem.

Now my confidence has grown I haven’t had a guy who can’t get it up in years....

perhaps the non confident me didn’t turn guys on. "

That’s an interesting observation

& I definitely agree

The chemistry between the two (or more) people makes all the difference.

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By *ortobello SionnachWoman
over a year ago

Dublin


"There appear to be a number of male partners of couples on here who just cannot maintain (or even get) an erection and perhaps are swinging to ensure their spouse is 'taken care of'.

Extremely frustrating......

What is your experience of this?

"

Some of them are nice guys from what I can work out they give up looking for meets and spend all their time on the forums.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's frustrating about it it ?

If you can't do plumbing, get a man who can.

If you can't fix your car get a man who can,

If you can't service your wife get a man who can.

Simples !

I occasionally service a few of couples this way.

Women have needs. Got to keep the horny ones satisfied.

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By *irkydirkyMan
over a year ago

Stevenage


"There appear to be a number of male partners of couples on here who just cannot maintain (or even get) an erection and perhaps are swinging to ensure their spouse is 'taken care of'.

Extremely frustrating......

What is your experience of this?

"

I’d imagine you’ll find a lot more frustrated husbands here than frustrated wives

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By *ay19720Man
over a year ago

Ashford kent


"Or it could be that maybe the guys just aren’t feeling it with the fem from the other couple but doesn’t want to call a halt if his partner is enjoying herself

If the attraction isn’t there it’s harder for the guy to hide it

Not every guy just wants any pussy

I agree..ive been too a rushed meet and the couple were already ahead shall we say..but I just didn't fancy the lady..ok for 5 min then in truth..me heart weren't in it...lol I just ducked out..lol

This happened to me last weekend at a party I didn't really fancy any of the ladies but was still having a lovely time chatting, Mrs T was getting on great with a guy from a couple and had recognized that I was not interested in playing so asked if I minded if she did.

Women seem to automatically assume that men will want them in play scenarios and that only women can be picky

I personally find it hot when I see a man turn down other ladies that don’t appeal to them rather than any hole a goal

I would never be offended if I was not someone type

Lol you come across as a strong women and would prob scare the shit out of most guys..lol...

Haha actually quite the opposite ... in reality I push myself to be confident "

Well keep doing what your doing.....its doing well.......lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the beginning it's 100% normal to not perform in front of others as ...helllllloo everyone always does it one on one .

With time and regular meets you get used to it and perform like a pro

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have had performance issues when I'm trying to keep hard and the male of the couple is barking commands at me telling me what to do but as soon as he fucks off or shuts up I can relax and get on with what I do best

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By *reedy_for_funCouple
over a year ago

My House


"There appear to be a number of male partners of couples on here who just cannot maintain (or even get) an erection and perhaps are swinging to ensure their spouse is 'taken care of'.

Extremely frustrating......

What is your experience of this?

"

It's happened once or twice over the years but nothing that's caused concern.

We've had our fair share of single guys that can't raise the flag though. Mainly those who think an mfm is them alone with HER and not the two of us. It always amuses us when they think I'm just there to watch and get a little freaked when I join in on her. That's why we actively search for bi or bi curious guys now, they at least, are not scared of another cock in close proximity when sharing a woman.

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By *DKinkyJenTV/TS
over a year ago

Maidstone

I’ve seen guys have ‘performance issues’ in club settings (where you do learn pretty quickly if you can perform with an audience present)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have had performance issues when I'm trying to keep hard and the male of the couple is barking commands at me telling me what to do but as soon as he fucks off or shuts up I can relax and get on with what I do best"

The husband that are Porn movie directors are the worst.....

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By *reedy_for_funCouple
over a year ago

My House


"I have had performance issues when I'm trying to keep hard and the male of the couple is barking commands at me telling me what to do but as soon as he fucks off or shuts up I can relax and get on with what I do best"

Regardless of what the husband barks at you or her, you seem to mis-understand your role. You're there for their fun. Nice ego you have to presume it's all about you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I didn't say it was all about me but if u want me to perform I don't need a back seat driver she can easily sat I like this ,touch me here kiss me here shove it in deeper ,he doesn't need to be a director and to be fair when he calmed down it was loads better he got a bit carried away he admitted and when he went to bed she actually did say what she wanted without the need to placate him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And it should always be what everyone wants not just the couple after all your not without needs yourself or do u think single guys should be happy a couple have ordained him worthy to be there personal fuck toy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have had performance issues when I'm trying to keep hard and the male of the couple is barking commands at me telling me what to do but as soon as he fucks off or shuts up I can relax and get on with what I do best

The husband that are Porn movie directors are the worst....."
he was trying to direct me but in end he toned it down and when she was able to tell me what turned her on he had gone to bed and left us to it and she then hot a little wilder , he just wanted her to enjoy it and didn't realise how off putting he was being ,have now had 3 meets with them and it's become a more relaxed affair so worked out well in end so goes to show importance of talking before a meet and not just jumping in

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"I didn't say it was all about me but if u want me to perform I don't need a back seat driver she can easily sat I like this ,touch me here kiss me here shove it in deeper ,he doesn't need to be a director and to be fair when he calmed down it was loads better he got a bit carried away he admitted and when he went to bed she actually did say what she wanted without the need to placate him"

Dance monkey, dance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They should be shot it's the only humane thing to do

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By *ustalittleKinkWoman
over a year ago

in the shadows


"They should be shot it's the only humane thing to do "

This put them out of their misery

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was seriously meeting about 10years ago, about 1/3 of couples had husband's who couldn't rise to the occasion, usually they were there for the first meet or two, then you'd just meet with Mrs when trust had been built up.

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By *hesexpeopleCouple
over a year ago

s wales


"I have had performance issues when I'm trying to keep hard and the male of the couple is barking commands at me telling me what to do but as soon as he fucks off or shuts up I can relax and get on with what I do best

Regardless of what the husband barks at you or her, you seem to mis-understand your role. You're there for their fun. Nice ego you have to presume it's all about you "

Isn’t he there for the three of them to have fun?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have had performance issues when I'm trying to keep hard and the male of the couple is barking commands at me telling me what to do but as soon as he fucks off or shuts up I can relax and get on with what I do best

Regardless of what the husband barks at you or her, you seem to mis-understand your role. You're there for their fun. Nice ego you have to presume it's all about you

Isn’t he there for the three of them to have fun? "

No not at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have had performance issues when I'm trying to keep hard and the male of the couple is barking commands at me telling me what to do but as soon as he fucks off or shuts up I can relax and get on with what I do best

Regardless of what the husband barks at you or her, you seem to mis-understand your role. You're there for their fun. Nice ego you have to presume it's all about you

Isn’t he there for the three of them to have fun?

No not at all"
so who should benefit if not all 3 ,this is why a lot of couples fail to get a 3 some as they only want to tend to their needs and not the third parties as well

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By *ave3058Man
over a year ago

southampton & playa del ingles

I can’t get an erection due to bowel cancer ,but I have a wicked tongue

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral


"I have had performance issues when I'm trying to keep hard and the male of the couple is barking commands at me telling me what to do but as soon as he fucks off or shuts up I can relax and get on with what I do best

Regardless of what the husband barks at you or her, you seem to mis-understand your role. You're there for their fun. Nice ego you have to presume it's all about you

Isn’t he there for the three of them to have fun?

No not at allso who should benefit if not all 3 ,this is why a lot of couples fail to get a 3 some as they only want to tend to their needs and not the third parties as well"
The couple Obviously you are nothing more than an animate sex toy to enhance their night.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well is like to think I'm more than a boy toy lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well is like to think I'm more than a boy toy lol"

Sounds good

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

If it's happening a lot op the common denominator is you

It's a complex biological interaction for a guy to get an erection.. no matter what folk think guys ain't walking erections .. it ain't the same as the red deer rut.

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By *owithflow321Man
over a year ago

Molesey

I disagree that it men don’t get hard because of who they are with, sometimes we are more aroused and less eager when soft or half way there, it will happen .....,better than a stallion who has popped a few viagras unless that is what you want

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By *unkey_DuckCouple
over a year ago

Kingslynn

We don't really meet men. Met 1 young guy who was 18 and he didn't have a problem. He was erect when knocking on the front door. Answered the door to him and he stood there with a big grin on his face sporting a massive erection. lol My man doesn't have a problem getting hard either. I don't think he will fall into that as he get's older as his father and his fathers brother have over 25 kids between them and both are still going at it in their 60's! So they obviously have good genes. Think i've picked well.

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