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This will divide opinion....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

This scenario

You message someone who replies and says they are not looking to meet but are happy to chat and you click on there profile and it’s now hidden! Would it be rude to say something along the lines about not to bother as not much point talking to a hidden profile, after all we are not that that desperate.....

Would this be offensive? Would you expect abuse back?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This scenario

You message someone who replies and says they are not looking to meet but are happy to chat and you click on there profile and it’s now hidden! Would it be rude to say something along the lines about not to bother as not much point talking to a hidden profile, after all we are not that that desperate.....

Would this be offensive? Would you expect abuse back? "

Sounds perfectly acceptable to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do you need to see their profile if you're only going to chat?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t say you’re not that desperate, just ask if you can see there profile. If they say no, just say say you’re not comfortable chatting to someone with a hidden profile and goodbye and wish them luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suppose it’s ok to ask what happened, just don’t be pushy about it, it’s their prerogative what they do

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Why do you need to see their profile if you're only going to chat?"

It’s not blind date and we are not here to just chat....

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Yes....I think that reply is a little rude! I'd probably ask to see their profile to see if they are someone I'd like to meet. If they said no then I wouldn't want to chat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why do you need to see their profile if you're only going to chat?

It’s not blind date and we are not here to just chat...."

But did they not tell you their not looking to meet they are only chatting. If you don't want to chat don't if you do then do. Simple

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet


"Why do you need to see their profile if you're only going to chat?

It’s not blind date and we are not here to just chat...."

So to recap...

You messaged them.

They said they didn't want to meet.

They were happy to chat.

You didn't want to chat....

So draw a line under it and move on.

No biggie.

Only a drama if you want to make it one.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Why do you need to see their profile if you're only going to chat?

It’s not blind date and we are not here to just chat....

So to recap...

You messaged them.

They said they didn't want to meet.

They were happy to chat.

You didn't want to chat....

So draw a line under it and move on.

No biggie.

Only a drama if you want to make it one."

No drama, just made us giggle the abuse we got back

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

They only want chat, you don't want to chat. So why would their hidden profile bother you? Just say no thanks.

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By *hubnwife_36dd_ukCouple
over a year ago

chester

Why bother to find the aggro?

There are plenty of folks to chat to on Fab (try the chat rooms).

Doesn't make sense to get involved in other people's decisions/game-playing or w.h.y.

If we get a message from a hidden profile we just don't reply.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

And the other point is....

Why would anyone chat to a now hidden profile? This surely just smacks of desperation if you engage with people you have no clue what they look like or what they are looking for!

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

Block. Move on.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Block. Move on."

We have, it’s no bother, honestly, we just found it funny......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/09/18 21:26:14]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why do you need to see their profile if you're only going to chat?

It’s not blind date and we are not here to just chat...."

If they hadn't hidden their profile, would you have kept chatting?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Why do you need to see their profile if you're only going to chat?

It’s not blind date and we are not here to just chat....

If they hadn't hidden their profile, would you have kept chatting?"

Probably for a day or two, but if it hadn’t gone anywhere towards meeting we’d have blocked and moved on x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why do you need to see their profile if you're only going to chat?

It’s not blind date and we are not here to just chat....

If they hadn't hidden their profile, would you have kept chatting?

Probably for a day or two, but if it hadn’t gone anywhere towards meeting we’d have blocked and moved on x"

They already said they're not meeting though.

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

People hide their profile for lots of reasons. Not meeting being one of them so it seems perfectly reasonable they just want to chat.

I’ve asked to see hidden profiles even just briefly. Most people oblige or explain why they’re hidden. I wouldn’t let it stop me from chatting.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Why do you need to see their profile if you're only going to chat?

It’s not blind date and we are not here to just chat....

If they hadn't hidden their profile, would you have kept chatting?

Probably for a day or two, but if it hadn’t gone anywhere towards meeting we’d have blocked and moved on x

They already said they're not meeting though."

She said happy to chat and see how it goes, so hinted it may develop......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why do you need to see their profile if you're only going to chat?

It’s not blind date and we are not here to just chat...."
Then move onto someone who does want to meet. They already told you they wasn't meeting so why do you need to see their profile

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By *ustalittleKinkWoman
over a year ago

in the shadows

You messaged a profile ( I will assume you read it and liked them enough to message them).

They were polite enough to message back and explain they weren't meeting but were more than happy to chat.

Then you send a rude response back and you think that's funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why do you need to see their profile if you're only going to chat?

It’s not blind date and we are not here to just chat....

If they hadn't hidden their profile, would you have kept chatting?

Probably for a day or two, but if it hadn’t gone anywhere towards meeting we’d have blocked and moved on x

They already said they're not meeting though.

She said happy to chat and see how it goes, so hinted it may develop......"

You left that part out of your opening post. It still doesn't mean she might want to meet. Maybe she meant see how the conversation goes.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You messaged a profile ( I will assume you read it and liked them enough to message them).

They were polite enough to message back and explain they weren't meeting but were more than happy to chat.

Then you send a rude response back and you think that's funny

"

Our response wasn’t rude we just explained we weren’t interested in talking to a hidden profile

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By *ankie303Woman
over a year ago

Weirdsville South Coast Dorset

If a hidden profile messaged you first i would understand the point of this thread

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By *ustalittleKinkWoman
over a year ago

in the shadows


"You messaged a profile ( I will assume you read it and liked them enough to message them).

They were polite enough to message back and explain they weren't meeting but were more than happy to chat.

Then you send a rude response back and you think that's funny

Our response wasn’t rude we just explained we weren’t interested in talking to a hidden profile "

It wasn't hidden when you messaged it though!!

I think you'll find the majority of people would agree that saying to someone " we're not that desperate " is rude

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If a hidden profile messaged you first i would understand the point of this thread "

The point of this thread is to open a dialogue and debate, that’s all

Breaking it down into

A. What’s the point of chatting to anyone when they’ve hidden there profile?

B. Is it acceptable to get abuse after you rebuff them for having a hidden profile?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/09/18 21:46:18]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You messaged a profile ( I will assume you read it and liked them enough to message them).

They were polite enough to message back and explain they weren't meeting but were more than happy to chat.

Then you send a rude response back and you think that's funny

Our response wasn’t rude we just explained we weren’t interested in talking to a hidden profile

It wasn't hidden when you messaged it though!!

I think you'll find the majority of people would agree that saying to someone " we're not that desperate " is rude "

But we are not that desperate! And if someone was chatting to us whilst we had our profile hidden we’d just think they would play with anyone!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If a hidden profile messaged you first i would understand the point of this thread

The point of this thread is to open a dialogue and debate, that’s all

Breaking it down into

A. What’s the point of chatting to anyone when they’ve hidden there profile?

B. Is it acceptable to get abuse after you rebuff them for having a hidden profile?"

B would depend on how they were rebuffed.

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By *ustalittleKinkWoman
over a year ago

in the shadows


"You messaged a profile ( I will assume you read it and liked them enough to message them).

They were polite enough to message back and explain they weren't meeting but were more than happy to chat.

Then you send a rude response back and you think that's funny

Our response wasn’t rude we just explained we weren’t interested in talking to a hidden profile

It wasn't hidden when you messaged it though!!

I think you'll find the majority of people would agree that saying to someone " we're not that desperate " is rude

But we are not that desperate! And if someone was chatting to us whilst we had our profile hidden we’d just think they would play with anyone! "

That might be so but saying that to someone YOU have approached comes across as bitter and rude.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You messaged a profile ( I will assume you read it and liked them enough to message them).

They were polite enough to message back and explain they weren't meeting but were more than happy to chat.

Then you send a rude response back and you think that's funny

Our response wasn’t rude we just explained we weren’t interested in talking to a hidden profile

It wasn't hidden when you messaged it though!!

I think you'll find the majority of people would agree that saying to someone " we're not that desperate " is rude

But we are not that desperate! And if someone was chatting to us whilst we had our profile hidden we’d just think they would play with anyone!

That might be so but saying that to someone YOU have approached comes across as bitter and rude. "

People are so easily offended eh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes it would be offensive. You could just say a polite no-thanks instead, if you are not interested.

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By *inky SpiceWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow


"You messaged a profile ( I will assume you read it and liked them enough to message them).

They were polite enough to message back and explain they weren't meeting but were more than happy to chat.

Then you send a rude response back and you think that's funny

Our response wasn’t rude we just explained we weren’t interested in talking to a hidden profile

It wasn't hidden when you messaged it though!!

I think you'll find the majority of people would agree that saying to someone " we're not that desperate " is rude

But we are not that desperate! And if someone was chatting to us whilst we had our profile hidden we’d just think they would play with anyone! "

That doesn't make any sense at all. There is nothing in a profile that is any more legitimate than anything shared in a message, whether that be pictures or information on likes etc. Are you suggesting the profile you originally saw before it was hidden is now suspect? She could have hidden it for any number of simple reasons such as getting too many messages.

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham


"Why do you need to see their profile if you're only going to chat?

It’s not blind date and we are not here to just chat...."

But they said from the start they are not meeting and just want to chat so why did you bother in the first place. Folk hide profiles for a lot of reasons. Surely if you weren't happy to chat to a hidden profile who didn't want to meet you could have waited till there profile was visible again. Just saying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If a hidden profile messaged you first i would understand the point of this thread

The point of this thread is to open a dialogue and debate, that’s all

Breaking it down into

A. What’s the point of chatting to anyone when they’ve hidden there profile?

B. Is it acceptable to get abuse after you rebuff them for having a hidden profile?"

For A. The point of a profile I assume is to attract people to start chatting to you or to reply to an initial mail. Once you have started chatting and you have seen there profile before hand is it really needed for the rest of the chat. If you cant remember them each time you pop in they probably were not very interesting to you... and if you just wanted another perv you could just ask for a pic.

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

I don't understand your problem OP. So you saw the profile and decided to contact them.so you had already shown an interest in them.

You have no idea why they have hidden their profile. They could be having a break as they don't want to meet. So hiding the profile makes sense.

They were upfront and clear that they were happy to chat. So why did you get rude about the fact that you would be chatting to a hidden profile . Once contact has been made, you can continue to chat and see how things go.

I genuinely have no idea why this was a problem for you and not surprised if the other party were unhappy with you questioning them hiding their profile .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't understand your problem OP. So you saw the profile and decided to contact them.so you had already shown an interest in them.

You have no idea why they have hidden their profile. They could be having a break as they don't want to meet. So hiding the profile makes sense.

They were upfront and clear that they were happy to chat. So why did you get rude about the fact that you would be chatting to a hidden profile . Once contact has been made, you can continue to chat and see how things go.

I genuinely have no idea why this was a problem for you and not surprised if the other party were unhappy with you questioning them hiding their profile . "

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