FabSwingers.com: James (71) & Kay (70) , Couple in chester, North West, UK

For the terminally blind, illiterate or just stupid: NOT INTERESTED IN BI, BI-CURIOUS OR SIMILAR. DON'T MESSAGE OR YOU'LL GET DELETED AND BLOCKED!!!

Here's another one that won't get you a meet and gets you blocked: "Hi am Fred/Jim etc. Am in hotel Chester/Your area tonight/tomorrow if fancy a meet.

IN PLAIN ENGLISH JUST F*** OFF! FAB is not a knocking shop for those too mean or too incapable of paying for an escort.

We’re simplifying the intro to help the ejeets get the message. Genuine would-be players will understand and will read all the profile before messaging.

The following are not really “auditions”. Some simple common sense approach stuff.

We try to spell it out below as well as the limits/choices we play to.

Guys need to be patient and to realise that we play only a few times a year so we are always going to get more "offers" than we can cope with.

Guys need to be capable of staying in contact with us, at least a message from time to time so we know you're still there.

Guys need to show some imagination by spelling out in a bit of detail their ideas for fun for the lady.

Guys need at least a few body pics on their profile as well as a cock pic or two. We can understand why some guys won't post face pics (for the same discretion reason as us).

Finally they need to understand that any first meet will be a social to see if we all gel. They also need to understand we don't do socials just for their own sake. We've lost count of the number of non-thinkers who message "any chance of just a coffee/drink?" after we've exchanged a message or two. Do enough of those and "discretion needed" is out of the window.

So, here we go:

Looking for male(s) only preferred age 25ish onwards (esp coloured guys) for fun with the lady. We don't play that often so quality, not quantity is the target.

If you can’t hold a good sexy chat on here, and continue with it after the first message, then probably you’ll be fucking useless when it comes to pleasing the lady. Equally if you haven’t got any decent full length body pics...if we can’t see at least your bod then how do we know if there’s even a bit of physical attraction?

Nobody asked for face pics (unless you wish to post them) as many people, like us, need discretion.

DISCRETION: (look it up) we will NEVER, EVER, EVER email face pics.

No; telling us you are totally trustworthy will not change that! Do not display total internet stupidity by asking for face pics as “private” postings or via promises of “total personal discretion”.

For the same reason we do not do phone/skype etc or cam chat. If guys want to cam to us (and we know lots of guys like to show) then that’s fine.

Because we don’t do pics etc we do a social meet first, no pressure on anyone that way.

Profile: fill yours in. Never mind the “I’ll do it later” message when you’ve been on here a year or more.

We don't get online every night, but when we do best time for chat is around 10pmish onwards.

Now:

We’re fine thanks

Yes, we’ve had a good day

We’re not "up to" anything

Yes, we know she’s got nice tits...feel free to tell her but add something more!

No, we don't fancy a meet straight off, as we don't know you.

If it’s MFM etc then you need to be comfortable near other guys but if you’re bi, bi-curious or any other euphemism for arsehole fancier then pass us by...the health risks are huge and you definitely aren’t on our wish list.

Right, that's answered 98% of the messages that we get, so if you can use your imagination to say anything different, then we will be happy to reply to your messages and chat with you to see how it goes and where it leads!

Rant over, now down to the fun stuff:

Looking to fully explore our fantasies. My blonde wife Kay has 36DD tits and they are all real. She dresses posh sexy with big heels. Lady has a big thing about being mild-dommed (no real rough stuff) by one or two younger "strangers" aged around 25ish to 35ish (esp black/brown) while I watch.

She also likes a bit of light bondage and a bit of light spanking.

Fav positions: doggy and fav of all: pinned on her back. Her limits for “play” are: no anal, no deep throat, no pain, no watersports and no deliberate humiliation (she’d love to be described as a posh totty, hot married sex slut, told how expensive she’d be as a posh hooker, maybe even have the guys (pretend) pimp her out, etc, but will not be addressed as slag, cunt etc).

Would like to contact patient, would-be "strangers" to chat about it, discuss possible scenarios, swap pics and hopefully find some replacement candidates for her shortlist as most of the previous "shortlist" failed dismally when asked to send the lady a "hot" personal introductory email that was more interesting than "I'll fuck your brains out!".

Finally the usual warning to the Dementors from Sydney Uni and similar:

To Sydney Uni etc If you are using this site or any others such as (but not limited to) MSN, Yahoo et al for projects/research/general nosey-parkering or any other form of "investigation or research" of whatsoever form or type - you do not have permission from us to use any of our profile, messages or pictures in any form anywhere, both present and in future. Any such action on your part (or by others on your behalf or at your behest) will be considered a violation of our privacy and will be subject any/all legal action/claims for civil damages as we may decide to press. Seeking of damages will especially apply should your actions cause us actual and/or potential financial loss. This also applies to any other group or individual who uses or copies any of our profile, messages or photos for any purpose without our consent.

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