FabSwingers.com forum: Polyamorous does it work

By *ee-gee OP Couple
over a year ago

taunton way

Does it really work long term? Both love the thought

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

I've been in a poly relationship for 10 years next year. More than a lot of 'normal' marriages I know.

It can work, but it takes a lot of work, all the time, not just when you feel like it.

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By *ee-gee OP Couple
over a year ago

taunton way

Mmf or ffm

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By *s ParisWoman
over a year ago

My Dungeon Room

Yes it can work I'm in one 5yrs now mff

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

I'm in an mff

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By *rwolfMan
over a year ago

bristol

Poly relationships can work but as said it takes a hell of a lot of work for all involved. But then it also depends on the group size...a larger group means more work.

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By *itten316Woman
over a year ago

Queens Park, LONDON

I know lots of couples in poly relationships that work. Not for me, but love watching them love & work together.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only if both parties are fully open and honest with each other, I’ve had them work and had others fail, it takes a lot of work and a lot of trust

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By *nvincible ButterflyWoman
over a year ago

LEEDS

Poly can work but only if everyone on board is on the same page.

I was involved in a mmff polyquad (myself, my ex and another couple) the other female was difficult to say the least and kept causing trouble unless she was center of attention. It ended up splitting me and my partner up. Needless to say id never get in a relationship like that again.

One bit of advice i was give (too late) is honest and constant communication is key to poly relationships.

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By *orticiaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

It’s totally wrong. You can’t mix a Greek & Latin root!

. My Linguistics professor would be turning in his grave!!

It’s Multiamory or Polyphilia

On a serious note though, like everything - if all parties are open & honest there’s no reason why it should be any less successful than any other tins of relationship!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

God yes as long as everybody is happy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It really is something I’d love to experience. I’d like to think it could work but I fear finding people to be involved in such a situation would be an issue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/09/18 21:53:38]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are so many dynamics in a poly quad/MMF/FFM relationship. Playing is one thing but having a relationship within a relationship must take so much work to manage and maintain. Congratulations to the one's that can do it. I just don't think I could. I feel there would be too many people to keep happy. And what if they or yourselves go out and play without them? Would that be classified as cheating or would you have to ask permission? Because the only person's permission I would need to play is Inked's. Maybe I've over complicated the whole thing but it seems as if a lot of people could be hurt if things went wrong. Kinky

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By *orksCouple25Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

In non Western Cultures ( plus the unique Mormons) these arrangements are both mainstream and legal too but only in the MFF variety never the other way round.

It the legacy of a necessity back centuries and made sense in those days as many of the young men died in local clan based ‘ turf wars’ leaving a surplus of women so the only way to replace the population was the surviving men impregnated all the availablevwomen in the clan to provide the fighting men for future survival based battles.

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By *mm and HerCouple
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

"It’s totally wrong. You can’t mix a Greek & Latin root!

. My Linguistics professor would be turning in his grave!!

It’s Multiamory or Polyphilia

This made me laugh - I had to actually check that I hadn't written it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In short....yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course if your all on the same page x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does it really work long term? Both love the thought "
for some yes... for me I could share sexually but not emotionally x

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By *iercedItMan
over a year ago

North West

The guy asking about going out alone and cheating.

It's like that, let's say...

You + GF

Gf + Gf

They are 2 separate couples. You may have no real interaction with her girlfriend, you'll be aware but not likely involved, there are somewhere it's all parties involved but my experience is each part/couple is unique.

One of my friends there are aboout 10 in their extended groups and it always makes me giggle when I see her calendar, they use a communal calendar app to schedule and plan so people don't clash.

Out of those 10, I'd say only half have actually played with each other in a sexual sense.

She's been with her husband about 15 yrs and both poly for about 10, both have boyfriends and girlfriends, it can definitely work.

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By *rongstantineWoman
over a year ago

hull

I've only ever seen it work properly (and well) a handful of times. It's been beyond impressive to observe, and devastating to watch it crumble.

As said before, hard work, harder communication.

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By *inkykandjCouple
over a year ago

Lanark

Well we’re starting on this route and hope it works out but think as has been said communication is key and taking time to talk

As long as everyone is happy , sod what others think

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By *ittle DancerWoman
over a year ago

Leslie, Glenrothes

Half the battle (I’ve found) is finding other poly people/couples.

In answer to the OP - Of course - and one day I hope to find it

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

It's hard work, but then so is a conventional relationship. I think it's more a case of how your wired to if it would be successful or not. If you naturally poly then a monogomus relationship will most likely not work for your. Therefore if your poly then it's surely your best chance at relationship success.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m intrigued by the idea of it but think I’d struggle to share someone that I love, especially with them having an equal relationship with the other person / people.

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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago

Ashton Under Lyne

Intrigued and interested by the idea of a poly relationship. Unlike the "conventional" poly MFF situation I can see myself having 2 husbands loving them both even having kids with both .... Plus my GF. Still looking though

It's the men that are likely to get jealous though

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By *armer philMan
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Following this thread with a lot of interest. Always though about the dynamics of a poly relationship and if it really can work. I guess if all involved in a poly relationship are all on the same page and communication is good then there is no reason why it wouldn't work perfectly well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Half the battle (I’ve found) is finding other poly people/couples.

In answer to the OP - Of course - and one day I hope to find it

. "

Very true. Finding other poly people who are open and willing to share complete trust, transparency, and love is a major challenge— but a true gift and gem when found.

I am still looking...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Intrigued by it would love mmf relationship x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Poly can work but only if everyone on board is on the same page.

One bit of advice i was give (too late) is honest and constant communication is key to poly relationships."

Indeed the only way any multi connecting relationship can work.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes but it must be open totally, I was shared by hubby and had to sit down and tell him I loved his friend, I was very lucky it didn't break us. husband said he had known a long time when it stopped being sex and we were making love...

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By *ittle DancerWoman
over a year ago

Leslie, Glenrothes

Being in love with 2 people at the same time is an incredible feeling.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does it really work long term? Both love the thought "

Nope, tried it twice. Not a chance for me, you can't put 100% into two people, even though I tried.

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By *ittle DancerWoman
over a year ago

Leslie, Glenrothes

"Does it really work long term? Both love the thought

Nope, tried it twice. Not a chance for me, you can't put 100% into two people, even though I tried."

I think that just proves it doesn't work for you - there are plenty of examples of it working for others..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does it really work long term? Both love the thought

Nope, tried it twice. Not a chance for me, you can't put 100% into two people, even though I tried.

I think that just proves it doesn't work for you - there are plenty of examples of it working for others.. "

That's why I said not a chance for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ide love to find a woman who is wahting to do this xx

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By *oss and SuzieCouple
over a year ago

Porthmadog

Swinging and escorting 22 years... works for us xx

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By *entileschiWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

I cannot share my heart with another man but I can share my body and my mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The idea of The Mrs doing this totally excites me.

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

"The idea of The Mrs doing this totally excites me."

That is hot-wifing, not poly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is something that we would love to expose. Been together a while now but a polyamorus relationship is something we are definitely open too xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I worked for a guy that had a wife (kids with) his concubine (kid with) and his girlfriend (No kids) and they all lived together!! Worked for them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It works for some but a lot more have problems with it if its not in a religious context.

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

Yes it can work. I used to see a guy who was in a poly relationship but had been for most of his adult life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s totally wrong. You can’t mix a Greek & Latin root!

. My Linguistics professor would be turning in his grave!!

It’s Multiamory or Polyphilia

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By *pain_CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Spain

We're actively seeking a ffm polyamorous relationship but it's not easy finding someone. Is there any females who'd like to get to know us?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We're actively seeking a ffm polyamorous relationship but it's not easy finding someone. Is there any females who'd like to get to know us?"

It's much harder to find ... 3 people have to get on and fancy each other in equal portions and me capable of no jealousy!! Incredibly hard to find tbh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes definitely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ide love to find a woman who is wahting to do this xx "

A couple surely if your a single guy

male

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By *ily Con CarneTV/TS
over a year ago

Cornwall

I'd be up for that sort of arrangement/relationship

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Louis Theroux did a documentary on it recently and it didn't shed the lifestyle in the best light.

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By *erby DomCouple
over a year ago

Ashbourne(ish) and Chesterfield(ish)

It can work with the right people but it takes a lot of work, trust and commitment. We are three years in and loving it to the full. Like any relationship, there are ups and downs but to answer the OP in my experience it can work.

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

"Louis Theroux did a documentary on it recently and it didn't shed the lifestyle in the best light."

Of course it didn't. The best light rarely makes entertaining TV.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ide love to find a woman who is wahting to do this xx

A couple surely if your a single guy

male "

No ide like to find a woman who would live with me and want a girlfriend that she would choose and also live with us xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ide love to find a woman who is wahting to do this xx

A couple surely if your a single guy

male

No ide like to find a woman who would live with me and want a girlfriend that she would choose and also live with us xx "

Basically two live in girlfriends?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought about this in the past as I was never any good at one to one relationships.

But I fear that everything I don't want from a traditional relationship would be doubled

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

"I thought about this in the past as I was never any good at one to one relationships.

But I fear that everything I don't want from a traditional relationship would be doubled

Depends on the boundaries you set. I'm with a married couple, so I have a lot of freedom. I tell them who I'm meeting, they don't get involved other than as my safety net, and obviously I always play safe with others.

I run my day to day past them, but there is never any insistence that I do one thing over another or choose them first (although I inevitably do, because I enjoy their company).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I thought about this in the past as I was never any good at one to one relationships.

But I fear that everything I don't want from a traditional relationship would be doubled

I run my day to day past them, but there is never any insistence that I do one thing over another or choose them first (although I inevitably do, because I enjoy their company)."

It sounds ideal

I think a married couple would suit me too.

How did you meet?

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By *pain_CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Spain

Hi. We are a married cpl and we’re looking to meet a friendly, fun and adventurous female to get to know, meet, offer holidays and see how things develop. Our ideal is to turn our couple into a throuple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Poly the good the bad the ugly.

Now I know that not everyone on here either gets/interested/agrees with the Poly life style and i get that and its totally okay as its down to choice in the end.

But what I have found is this lifestyle opens up the experiences and dynamics to people that may start them considering if poly maybe something worth exploring.

I have been asked a number of times about the benefits and negatives of living a poly lifestyle. Now I am not saying I am the guru of all knowledge but i have had both good and bad experiences of poly and wanted to share what I have learnt.

Let’s start off with all the good parts of Polyamory. Now these may not be in all oly relationships but is generally what I have found.

1. Open Communication

For poly to work you must have amazing two way communication skills.

Poly households need to be able to discuss alot of difficult topics. You need to discuss your relationship dynamics, comfort levels and jealousy.

You need to discuss your boundaries and your emotions, which is a great exercise of communication. It can really let you open up about your desires and feelings and learn about the needs of your partner or partners.

2. Cheating/affairs

If you’re open to each other, then you get to be intimate with other people without the damage cheating/affairs can have on a couple. Now i am not saying it can not occur as if couples have set boundaries to their poly relationship and these are broken then cheating can occur.

3. Exploring different dynamics and sexuallity.

Being intimate with more than one person can lead to you being able to exlore all sides of you kink dynamics and your sexuality. It also means that you have more than 1 person to share your life eith opening up an enviroment thar allows you to explore more facets of life. You share lives not just sex.

4. Support and personal growth

The more people you have close to you, the more loving support you hace within your life. This can include additional emotional support, physical support and practical support.

There is a Polyamory theory that the more you are loved, the more you are able to accept love, which in turn makes you a better support system for those around you. That can’t be a bad thing can it ?

So now lets look at some of the negatives that come with a pily lifestyle.

1. Jealousy

Now this is one I always struggled with, i have never really felt or understood jealousy and its something I have had to learn to deal with in others.

At one point i was very silly to assume well your poly you should not be jealous. But thats not true I now understand that people can be in a poly relationship and be jealous. Its how they deal with the jealousy that is the key factor.

In order for the relationships to be successful, you need to be comfortable talking about jealousy and finding ways to solve issues. Ifyou dont do that like in any monogamous relationship it can tear the relationship apart and leave a sea of broken hearts.

2. Juggling time.

Life can get really busy, so making sure everyone gets time is a must. And to be honest this is one of the hardest parts of being poly. I always joke that this is easy fir me as I have a Boo, and she is the Poly PA for the house od pest lol.

But you have to keep in mind sometimes its possible that one person may need more attention than the other, and there needs to be a way to balance everything so no one gets left out.

To be honest normally fir us its the core relationship of Boo and Me that sacrifice time to make sure everyone gets the time they need.

3. The stigma

Polyamory is not widely socially acceptable. I have had people say to me in the past that I can not love Boo if I have someone else. That its really just fucking around, that im cheatimg and Boo can not be accepting of this behaviour. Its seen in a bad light by many. So in many poly groups its kept secret from their friends and family.

4. Baggage

If you are not in a good point in your core relationship and you are trying poly to try and fix your issues then its not going to work. The core has to be strong for poly to work or you end up with unhappy partners. Also the core is taking on the baggage that comes with most people now over the age of 20 lol. This canput strain on the other relationship specially in the early stages

5. The ugly

Poly will always be used by those that are hidding their lifestyle from their partners as an excuse to screw around. This is not poly this is not open relationship this cheating .

Now the above is just a general observation from myself and my poly journey. Now what I can say is that i have met some wonderful people and experienced alot of life adventures with them.

I have learnt alot about myself as well, there has also been heartbreak, tears and alot of stress on the way but I will stand by my poly lifesyle and look forward to all it brings

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I thought about this in the past as I was never any good at one to one relationships.

But I fear that everything I don't want from a traditional relationship would be doubled

I run my day to day past them, but there is never any insistence that I do one thing over another or choose them first (although I inevitably do, because I enjoy their company).

It sounds ideal

I think a married couple would suit me too.

How did you meet?

IDE like to meet someone to be my wife and want this lifestyle not me being greedy just like to see women make each other happy and want to be in the lifestyle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I thought about this in the past as I was never any good at one to one relationships.

But I fear that everything I don't want from a traditional relationship would be doubled

I run my day to day past them, but there is never any insistence that I do one thing over another or choose them first (although I inevitably do, because I enjoy their company).

It sounds ideal

I think a married couple would suit me too.

How did you meet?

IDE like to meet someone to be my wife and want this lifestyle not me being greedy just like to see women make each other happy and want to be in the lifestyle "

You need a long-term partner first ...

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

"I thought about this in the past as I was never any good at one to one relationships.

But I fear that everything I don't want from a traditional relationship would be doubled

I run my day to day past them, but there is never any insistence that I do one thing over another or choose them first (although I inevitably do, because I enjoy their company).

It sounds ideal

I think a married couple would suit me too.

How did you meet?

We met on another swinger site, about 12 years ago. Just a one of 3sum was the intention, it just developed from there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ide love to find a woman who is wahting to do this xx

A couple surely if your a single guy

male

No ide like to find a woman who would live with me and want a girlfriend that she would choose and also live with us xx "

What find 2 women wow that would be lucky for fab lol love your optimism.

male

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By *erby DomCouple
over a year ago

Ashbourne(ish) and Chesterfield(ish)

"Poly the good the bad the ugly.

Now I know that not everyone on here either gets/interested/agrees with the Poly life style and i get that and its totally okay as its down to choice in the end.

But what I have found is this lifestyle opens up the experiences and dynamics to people that may start them considering if poly maybe something worth exploring.

Let’s start off with all the good parts of Polyamory. Now these may not be in all oly relationships but is generally what I have found.

1. Open Communication

For poly to work you must have amazing two way communication skills.

Poly households need to be able to discuss alot of difficult topics. You need to discuss your relationship dynamics, comfort levels and jealousy.

2. Cheating/affairs

3. Exploring different dynamics and sexuallity.

4. Support and personal growth

The more people you have close to you, the more loving support you hace within your life. This can include additional emotional support, physical support and practical support.

So now lets look at some of the negatives that come with a pily lifestyle.

1. Jealousy

Now this is one I always struggled with, i have never really felt or understood jealousy and its something I have had to learn to deal with in others.

2. Juggling time.

But you have to keep in mind sometimes its possible that one person may need more attention than the other, and there needs to be a way to balance everything so no one gets left out.

To be honest normally fir us its the core relationship of Boo and Me that sacrifice time to make sure everyone gets the time they need.

3. The stigma

4. Baggage

5. The ugly

Poly will always be used by those that are hidding their lifestyle from their partners as an excuse to screw around. This is not poly this is not open relationship this cheating .

Now the above is just a general observation from myself and my poly journey. Now what I can say is that i have met some wonderful people and experienced alot of life adventures with them.

I have learnt alot about myself as well, there has also been heartbreak, tears and alot of stress on the way but I will stand by my poly lifesyle and look forward to all it brings"

An excellent post

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By *urhamjayMan
over a year ago

Durham

"It’s totally wrong. You can’t mix a Greek & Latin root!

. My Linguistics professor would be turning in his grave!!

It’s Multiamory or Polyphilia

What do you think about Polyphilia?.

I think it's great for filling cracks.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

We certainly hope it does, kind of would be a three way icing.

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By *exfordMan
over a year ago

discombobulated land

"Does it really work long term? Both love the thought "

I think it does but polyfilla is quicker and easier to rub down, especially the ready mixed.. Hope this helps xxx

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