FabSwingers.com forum: Not a single male bashing thread...but....

By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Can anyone tell me why its always single males that are no shows at parties and organised events, now this isnt me pontificating i have actually researched this with other party organisers.

I have always been one to stand up for single males so this is just a genuine question as im puzzled.

Thanks Femme

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe they are scared your going to want to have your wicked way with them.. lol

but I dont know.. we only invite single guys really... but still invite double what we require...

but we now have a selection of lovely reliable men..

I do know from Parties I used to go to that it was the single females and couples that seemed to be the most there.. maybe its easier for a couple as they have each other.

Must be scary for single guy to go.. Maybe the idea would be for couples to pair up and be friend a single guy so he has the guts to go to things..

Just an idea.. but in the end I would say it comes down to worry and nerves.. after all.. it must be hard for a single guy to prove himself..

Katie. x

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

some bottle it

some go out with mates instead

some are married and wifie changes plans

some get other meets

some are wanking at the thought of meets

some have genuine emergencies

some will watch the fitba instead

some are just fools.........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not always single fellas. I've been primed to go to parties with single females on three seperate occassions and each time they have got cold feet and been no shows. I've carried on anyway and had a great time but just wanted to add some balance to your statement

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"It's not always single fellas. I've been primed to go to parties with single females on three seperate occassions and each time they have got cold feet and been no shows. I've carried on anyway and had a great time but just wanted to add some balance to your statement

x"
Im sure its not i am only speaking from experience as a party organiser, always the single guys that dont turn up

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

xIm sure its not i am only speaking from experience as a party organiser, always the single guys that dont turn up

i have noticed this too, i think basically for a lot of couples planning,babysitting ect mean if they put their name down they are not going to waste their time.Perhaps single guys are being a bit more "spur of the moment"

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By *eaboMan
over a year ago

marden

i always get the shakes and nervous as hell before meets and parties, but it goes after i arrive and i know i will enjoy myself so have never considered being a no show.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All mouth and no trousers - thats what the majority of it is

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By *eaboMan
over a year ago

marden

i thought no trousers would be a good thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"some bottle it

some go out with mates instead

some are married and wifie changes plans

some get other meets

some are wanking at the thought of meets

some have genuine emergencies

some will watch the fitba instead

some are just fools........."

he said it for me

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I do believe that they think that when they sign up they think that an orgy will break out.... but when they realise that "socials" mean exactly that... they don't want to put the effort in and don't go...

anyway... better for the likes of me who does go... i like it as it is....

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

I think you may have hit part of the proverbial nail ont head there Fabio

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

I'm curious too but the likelihood of them admitting to it on this post, and giving an explanation are probably even worse than the chances of them turning up...

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I'm curious too but the likelihood of them admitting to it on this post, and giving an explanation are probably even worse than the chances of them turning up...

"
Well they talk about everything else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm curious too but the likelihood of them admitting to it on this post, and giving an explanation are probably even worse than the chances of them turning up...

Well they talk about everything else

I'm sure I heard recently that you should ignore everything in a sentence that comes before the word 'but', looks like it's true with this thread title too

As I said, it's not just single fellas that don't turn up, women do it too but my post seems to have been ignored in favour of some bashing...

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I'm curious too but the likelihood of them admitting to it on this post, and giving an explanation are probably even worse than the chances of them turning up...

Well they talk about everything else

I'm sure I heard recently that you should ignore everything in a sentence that comes before the word 'but', looks like it's true with this thread title too

As I said, it's not just single fellas that don't turn up, women do it too but my post seems to have been ignored in favour of some bashing..."
dont believe everything you hear

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I think its a valid question but like someone else said I don't know if you're going to get the answers

At nearly every social or party that I have been to or helped plan the majority of those that were no shows have been single guys

Possibly with the exception of the one I was at this weekend where I think they all decided to turn up at the same time

I love single guys so its not a bashing its truth based on my experience

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"I think its a valid question but like someone else said I don't know if you're going to get the answers

At nearly every social or party that I have been to or helped plan the majority of those that were no shows have been single guys

Possibly with the exception of the one I was at this weekend where I think they all decided to turn up at the same time

I love single guys so its not a bashing its truth based on my experience "

Maybe , most of the males are doing their own bashing.

The Bishop.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well its possibly simply a case of "most" single men not really being the type of swingers that can be in the same company as males, specifically if theres sex going on.I've seen it stated on so many couples profiles that they only play together and can only assume that most single guys would rather have one on ones with the female half.Invite 20 men to a gang bang and u probably find no more than 10 will make it.of course its a pretty nifty feature knowing who is being invited to parties etc-call it cliquey if u will but it certainly stops people who arent even there ruining a nite lol

i.e places in parties being taken up by single males who dont turn up-worse still if they were supposed to pay(or contribute if u prefer that term) on entry!!!

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By *otstory69Man
over a year ago

stafford

i have no frame of reference to the no-shows because i have never been one of them.

All i would say is to use all of the information available to you to choose well. Verifications, especially from people you know, should be useful. if you have the luxury of time, meeting them at socials (if they turn up

) should settle the nerves of any first-timer.

I try to meet people for a no-strings drink first anyway, just to make sure you get on. It's funny to think of it like a job inter_iew, especially if both sides want the job! lol

Would you normally offer someone a job without an inter_iew?

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"i have no frame of reference to the no-shows because i have never been one of them.

) should settle the nerves of any first-timer.

I try to meet people for a no-strings drink first anyway, just to make sure you get on. It's funny to think of it like a job inter_iew, especially if both sides want the job! lol

Would you normally offer someone a job without an inter_iew?"
so you are seriously saying that all party organisers should meet every single male that puts their name down for a party/social?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"............so you are seriously saying that all party organisers should meet every single male that puts their name down for a party/social?

Perhaps not for a social but there's steps anyone could take before accepting a request from someone an organiser doesn't know/ trust for a party invite.

One question rarely asked, or answered, about no shows is why they feel the alternative they've chosen (whether that be a night in the pub, or a wank) is better than the invite they've decided to bodyswerve.

I don't claim to have the answer to this but it's a question that ought to be asked.

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

You really need to ask the guys that don't turn up as to what there reason is but as they don't actually turn up and typically are never heard from again we'll never really know.

What we could do with is a different label for REAL SWINGER single guys and the rest of the rubbish using the label 'single male'.

As has been suggested most won't be able to make it because the wife won't let them out for 'a drink with the lads'.

Rubbish aside, it still takes some guts for a guy to see through such a fantasy. We are seeing a newbee single guy and now he is able to admit he was bricking it prior and at the start of out first meeting. He actually said at the end of our second meeting, "A few weeks ago I would never have thought this would actually happen, I can hardly believe that its happening now". Now hang on to his statement for a minute and think how many guys don't show because they just don't believe it will actually happen?

The disappointment with gang-bang no-shows, ok so guys should NOT say they will and then not turn up but what's in it for them? Waiting in line to shag a soggy pussy! Apart from that I can imagine guys having all the best intentions during the chat and putting their name down or accepting an invitation but as the event looms closer too much trepidation can soon wash away the enthusiasm for what for most would seem like the best dream ever come true.

Perhaps if single guys were treated with more respect then the respectable ones might be more forward.

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

Depending on the party/social, venue, and other logistics, I've found the absentees to be an even spread (oi oi!).

As far as am concerned - when's the next party so I can put it in my diary?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do believe there is an element of nervousness especially if the guy has not met anyone at the party before. I was lucky when I went to my first party many years ago before I was married. I had the good fortune to meet a couple via a contact mag and we agreed to meet socially for a drink. They told me they regularly held parties and invited the occasional single guy. I was then told that they next party was the following week and I was invited to intend. I confess I was excited by the thought yet terrified. I had no real idea what would happen at the party, that may sound naive but it is a fact we can fantasise but until you have attended the party you have no idea how it will develop. In the end I did have the courage to go, in many ways it was just like any normal party but folk kept disappearing lol. My advice is if you can meet someone who will be at the party before committing yourself to attend, then there would be less chance of non attendance. I was fortunate to meet the organisers beforehand and so at the party I was made welcome and felt less of an outsider meeting lots of strangers for the first time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Further thought if folk met socially first I think there might be less time wasters and no shows, since there is less pressure on both sides. Also you may find you have more in common than just wanting sex.

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By *anny PepperoniMan
over a year ago

Matlock

xIm sure its not i am only speaking from experience as a party organiser, always the single guys that dont turn up

Maybe you are just inviting the wrong ones?? There are a lot of threads on here about how hard it is for single males to get meets and how the single women and couples have the right to pick and choose their perfect man, which is fine, but maybe its the selection process that is at fault rather than the single male as a species.

Just speakimg from my experience as a single male who is very reliable but gets very few invitations.

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

Us single guys are shy and retiring creatures, we live in a constant state of paranoia and are easily frightened - just like a gazelle.

The first sign of trouble and I flash my white arse and I'm off like a shot...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The first sign of trouble and I flash my white arse "

Tsk...any excuse you blatant flasher you!

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

To the OP, it's to create an air of interest and mystery.

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

The first sign of trouble and I flash my white arse

Tsk...any excuse you blatant flasher you!

...and there's one predator that scares the crap out of me!!!

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By *inktherapyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"Depending on the party/social, venue, and other logistics, I've found the absentees to be an even spread (oi oi!).

As far as am concerned - when's the next party so I can put it in my diary?

Beach party for sure - I'm squeezing your bum again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"some bottle it

some go out with mates instead

some are married and wifie changes plans

some get other meets

some are wanking at the thought of meets

some have genuine emergencies

some will watch the fitba instead

some are just fools........."

there just fools !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can anyone tell me why its always single males that are no shows at parties and organised events, now this isnt me pontificating i have actually researched this with other party organisers.

I have always been one to stand up for single males so this is just a genuine question as im puzzled.

Thanks Femme

Are they just not showing up or do they give you an excuse...sometimes life can get in the way of things and if I couldn't make it for any reason then it's genuine...I have some ladies who want to meet but it's always "next week maybe"...... haven't been to a party for a while so am open to invitation

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"You really need to ask the guys that don't turn up as to what there reason is but as they don't actually turn up and typically are never heard from again we'll never really know.

What we could do with is a different label for REAL SWINGER single guys and the rest of the rubbish using the label 'single male'.

As has been suggested most won't be able to make it because the wife won't let them out for 'a drink with the lads'.

Perhaps if single guys were treated with more respect then the respectable ones might be more forward. "
Good points there i do take into consideration it can be daunting not just for single males but for anybody. I have seen parties and socials advertised here and no single males were allowed or their numbers were very limited, i for one would never do that, 99% of single males are genuine , i just wondered why such a high percentage never show up, even after numerous messages, banter etc.... i guess il never know lol

Many thanks for all the input to everyone who posted

Femme xxxxxx

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By *addaddyMan
over a year ago

corby

Think one of the answers why they dont turn up is a bad experience of they were the odd one out, couples turn up and they are left feeling a right turnip or left turnip, on their own. have to add it wasnt me, but think i would bottle out, happy to meet singles and couples, you actually know your going to be with someone, not left alone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sheer bad manners and lack of respect means that the selfish few

spoil it for all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The parties we've been to usually have a couple of single guy no shows.

What amazes us more though is the number of couples, all who have Adult Parties as their first interest, who don't turn up even though they've had weeks of notice to sort the night out.

XXXX

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

I spoke to Femme about this before she decided to ask the question as this specific question relates to the Pussy Posse parties.

I'll give you an example.

We nearly always use Chameleons in Darlaston. It's a club where you can socialise or have sex. No pressure, no expectations but food, drink, games and friends laid on.

The last Annual Beach Party in 2010 had 600 people attend. Out of the no-shows (because we do keep lists), 90% of them were single men.

We do the lists because it allows those without memberships to come in on MY membership for the day, so that if single guys are on the waiting list, or haven't been before, they can come along.

The Red White and Blue this year was the same. Single men are always the ones that don't show.

They don't let us know, they don't give us feedback and they then stick their names down for the next party and don't turn up for that one.

85-90% of the couples do turn up and those that don't, in general, will let us know why.

I've only ever had a couple of no-shows from single women.

Now, on the basis that I obviously can't meet 200+ single men and nor would I wish to, just so I can 'figure out where I'm going wrong,' why do people, realistically think these men don't turn up?

As I pointed out to Femme, I think they are all married!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wana come to some of these parties! sounds good to me, I allways thought they wer cock fests

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By *anny PepperoniMan
over a year ago

Matlock

"I spoke to Femme about this before she decided to ask the question as this specific question relates to the Pussy Posse parties.

I'll give you an example.

We nearly always use Chameleons in Darlaston. It's a club where you can socialise or have sex. No pressure, no expectations but food, drink, games and friends laid on.

The last Annual Beach Party in 2010 had 600 people attend. Out of the no-shows (because we do keep lists), 90% of them were single men.

We do the lists because it allows those without memberships to come in on MY membership for the day, so that if single guys are on the waiting list, or haven't been before, they can come along.

The Red White and Blue this year was the same. Single men are always the ones that don't show.

They don't let us know, they don't give us feedback and they then stick their names down for the next party and don't turn up for that one.

85-90% of the couples do turn up and those that don't, in general, will let us know why.

I've only ever had a couple of no-shows from single women.

Now, on the basis that I obviously can't meet 200+ single men and nor would I wish to, just so I can 'figure out where I'm going wrong,' why do people, realistically think these men don't turn up?

As I pointed out to Femme, I think they are all married!!!!

Hi Madchick I pm'd u about the beach party am I on the list???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's because they end up not being able to sneak out for the night away from the missus.

Because they are really....der der der... couples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a proper crush on fem so id definately show up... if she wasnt so bloody far away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get a sudden onset of dangleberries just before a meet/party/socials. Its embarrassing and I never know what to say,I'm sure you would rather hear that I was married and not allowed out the house that nite, but I cannot tell a lie my dangleberries make me shy!

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"I get a sudden onset of dangleberries just before a meet/party/socials. Its embarrassing and I never know what to say,I'm sure you would rather hear that I was married and not allowed out the house that nite, but I cannot tell a lie my dangleberries make me shy! "

I would rather hear that you had a sudden onset of the dangleberries........ or at least talk to me or Femme.... we may both be a bit mad, but we do know what we are doing and we definately know how to throw a party..........

**And upstairs is the cock fest lol**

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Thats why I'm always alone in the kitchen at parties" sorry 80's flashback. Did somebody mention a party?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

**And upstairs is the cock fest lol**"
]

But I'm wearing a short skirt and no knickers, everyone will see them as i walk up the stairs to the cockfest!!!

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

**And upstairs is the cock fest lol**]

But I'm wearing a short skirt and no knickers, everyone will see them as i walk up the stairs to the cockfest!!!"

Yes..........

and? your point is?

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By *ond_donkeyMan
over a year ago

tenerife

Why's it always couples and females stand up us single guys . I would say most of us are genuine on here but there are some Nutters who like the idea . but cant go through with it . Probably like diets for most

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"Why's it always couples and females stand up us single guys"

Never stood up a single guy without an explaination and apology first and never at last minute.

Have been stood up by single guys though .

" I would say most of us are genuine on here but there are some Nutters who like the idea . but cant go through with it . Probably like diets for most "

This is a thread specifically about the parties we organise and the amount of single men who just don't turn up.

Their loss, there are always plenty of single women and hundreds of couples to choose from.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

**And upstairs is the cock fest lol**]

But I'm wearing a short skirt and no knickers, everyone will see them as i walk up the stairs to the cockfest!!!

Yes..........

and? your point is?

well they hurt when I clench my arsecheeks...have sympathy eh!????

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

well they hurt when I clench my arsecheeks...have sympathy eh!????

Don't clench ya arse cheeks and let us all have a good look!

Honestly.........throw a girl a bone!

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By *oveshell74Man
over a year ago

ealing

All these threads about people not turning up to meets. I can't help but wonder what I'm doing wrong not to be getting invited at all instead of them getting invited and not showing up.

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By *ond_donkeyMan
over a year ago

tenerife

Well manners cost nothing . If you THEY HIM HER , are planning not turn up . a call text pigeon is just the nice thing to do

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

"Sheer bad manners and lack of respect means that the selfish few

spoil it for all."

Trouble is its not 'the selfish few' its the majority. We get 100's and 100's of PM's from wannbee tumble so on that basis we could have 100's and 100's of no-shows if we were to consider them. This is also supported by what is being said about the Pussy Posse Parties.

As for the couples that don't show, you don't actually know if it is a couple if they don't show! Equally the single fem no-shows could be a frustrated hubby playing about.

Still not convinced? Look up the traffic stats for this site and it will tell you that most of the traffic here, like 85% is married middle-aged men. I can't remember the percentage of connections from schools but they are there too

It's a fact - something like 95% of the fakes on here are married men posing/appearing as every conceivable type/configuration of swinger but mostly they pose as 'single men'.

We've never bashed single men who actually are who they say they are, what we might call REAL SWINGERS I doubt anyone ever has. It's just that real ones and the fakes are of the same species

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

i think some people are missing that this thread was not about private parties or meets ,but social/club parties.

These are generally open to anyone and are a great way to get to know others and get that veri so many single guys seem to value.

So ,do we look at facts, which other social organiers have told me,or do we step around the subject? The fact is out of any munch/social list the biggest number of no shows will be single men,despite the fact that the constant advice on here to the whiners is to get themselves known at social events.

Personally i go with,joined pissed and or married.

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

These are generally open to anyone and are a great way to get to know others and get that veri so many single guys seem to value.

And thats part of the point Jemima.

So many single guys want the verification because some won't meet singles without one....... never ending vicious circle.

But come to a munch/social/club meet..... you will get one.

If a single guy takes the trouble to talk to a couple/single woman/me.... and then leaves them a verification, they will (in all probability) leave him one. Or, he can talk to me and I'll leave him one as the party organiser. At least it will show who he is and that he's real and not got 3 heads!

I've come to the conclusion that single men are a strange variable.

They want it all and they want it NOW but most won't put in the slightest bit of effort to get it!

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

These are generally open to anyone and are a great way to get to know others and get that veri so many single guys seem to value.

And thats part of the point Jemima.

So many single guys want the verification because some won't meet singles without one....... never ending vicious circle.

But come to a munch/social/club meet..... you will get one.

I've come to the conclusion that single men are a strange variable.

They want it all and they want it NOW but most won't put in the slightest bit of effort to get it!

Or they could come,shag me and get a veri !

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By *oveshell74Man
over a year ago

ealing

If that's an offer, I'd like to take you up on it

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By *weet DevilMan
over a year ago

dukinfield

i host partys at last one three !! yes three guys sent message to say they had had to go to hospital due to an emergency !! coincindence !!

two guys said thay had had to go back into work friday night !!

so make yer own minds up

im hosting a greedy girls night this friday 3 great girls got loads of repiles from guys watch out for how many dont turn up !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From reading your comments I assume you mean social events and parties?

Personally speaking the parties have an element of 'clickiness' to them, but saying that I have seen many single males at the socials.However, in the great scheme of things 'swinging' or 'lifestyle' is predomiently a couples thing. Maybe that's why.

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