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NEW TO FAB? - SWINGING TERMINOLOGY - HOPE THIS HELPS! ;-p

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So hi newbies - and seasoned Fabbers who love a good piss take!

Thought it would be nice for us oldies to help you newbies out with some swinging terminology! I'll list a couple - then hopefully other fabbers will list a whole lot more!

Let's have fun - and keep it light hearted!

1) GENUINE SWINGER - someone who will shag you!

2) FAKE - Someone who won't shag you!

3) GO BEHINDER - Someone Who has a great body or cock/pussy but a face like a dog's dinner - ergo you'd only want to shag them if they go behind you/you go behind them!

4) FABITIS - a nasty and highly contagious disease whereby a man or woman - after being told by people who want access to their boxers/knickers that they are stunning and gorgeous - start to believe all the bullshit and become Fab Primadonnas - creating demanding profiles, insisting on meeting only Adonis like peeps - and completely overlooking the fact that in the 'real world ' they were last chatted up six years ago!

5) FAB MIRRORS! These are mostly owned by the peeps in category 4 and are highly prized! Often bought from defunct fun houses or children's fairytale books - they reflect an image of what the owner WANTS to look like - rather than what they actually look like!

Ergo they are younger, wrinkle free, stunningly beautiful, two sizes smaller and have an amazing breasts and arse (women) - men are also younger (or mysteriously older without those tell-tale signs of recent puberty), incredibly handsome, taller, and sport a six-pack and a cock ladies swoon over!

Right - over to you lot - the gym beckons!

Have fun and pretty please keep it light hearted!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely love this

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By *reakShow90Man
over a year ago

Manchester/halifax


"So hi newbies - and seasoned Fabbers who love a good piss take!

Thought it would be nice for us oldies to help you newbies out with some swinging terminology! I'll list a couple - then hopefully other fabbers will list a whole lot more!

Let's have fun - and keep it light hearted!

1) GENUINE SWINGER - someone who will shag you!

2) FAKE - Someone who won't shag you!

3) GO BEHINDER - Someone Who has a great body or cock/pussy but a face like a dog's dinner - ergo you'd only want to shag them if they go behind you/you go behind them!

4) FABITIS - a nasty and highly contagious disease whereby a man or woman - after being told by people who want access to their boxers/knickers that they are stunning and gorgeous - start to believe all the bullshit and become Fab Primadonnas - creating demanding profiles, insisting on meeting only Adonis like peeps - and completely overlooking the fact that in the 'real world ' they were last chatted up six years ago!

5) FAB MIRRORS! These are mostly owned by the peeps in category 4 and are highly prized! Often bought from defunct fun houses or children's fairytale books - they reflect an image of what the owner WANTS to look like - rather than what they actually look like!

Ergo they are younger, wrinkle free, stunningly beautiful, two sizes smaller and have an amazing breasts and arse (women) - men are also younger (or mysteriously older without those tell-tale signs of recent puberty), incredibly handsome, taller, and sport a six-pack and a cock ladies swoon over!

Right - over to you lot - the gym beckons!

Have fun and pretty please keep it light hearted! "
I would say iam a 3 bad face ok body better cock but (ied like to think)a good personality

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nailed it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lmao

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Lmao "

I hope not - I'm rather partial to your arse lovely!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is brilliant love it. Deffo think I am in category 3

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely no mention of "fab straight"? Tsk tsk

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Absolutely no mention of "fab straight"? Tsk tsk "

I was going to - and will do if no one else does whilst I'm out - but I wanted others to add to it! Feel free to give it a definition!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab straight - a multi definition term meaning either a) straight but willing to suck a cock to get into the pants of the female in a couple or b) Bi but "all my work mates are on here and I don't want it to look like I'm bi"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Time waster - anyone that replies to a message or fabs a picture but then refuses to sleep with them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

personally id class #3 as a BOBFOC, but everything else is spot on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fab straight - a multi definition term meaning either a) straight but willing to suck a cock to get into the pants of the female in a couple or b) Bi but "all my work mates are on here and I don't want it to look like I'm bi"

"
true so very true

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By *he horny kinkstersCouple
over a year ago

North West

6: Sent time. The time between a bloke sending a message to a woman/couple, it being opened and him posting on here to ask why he's either not had a reply or it's not been deleted and if he should send another half a dozen messages to check it arrived ok and what their damned problem is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lmao

I hope not - I'm rather partial to your arse lovely! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

BBC - British Broadcasting Company

BWC - Beauty Without Cruelty (Light BDSM in other words)

Someone should add what Forumites are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/04/16 13:40:23]

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

Fabicide.

A moment (or monents) where your usual fake,fawning Fab personality is forgotten and you reveal your true self only to be castigated and,eventually,cast aside by the forums and therefore reducing your already slim chance of ever getting laid on here...to none.

Most often presented in misogynistic abuse after a few beers, or in desperate attempts to attract some "breeding stock".

Occasionally a lady commits Fabicide, but this is rarely fatal due to the number of men who desperately seize on the chance to blow life into her dying profile and hopefully elsewhere as a result (See White Knights).

Fabicide is easy to find...just look for any following gleeful "Pull up a seat and I will get the popcorn" posts.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Think we're up to about 11 now!

11 SPAGHETTI BI - Someone who is essentially straight but, when given alcohol and made wet/hard will conveniently forget this and 'go with the flow'! Anyway - you can hardly tell it's a man sucking your cock if he's clean shaven - and a tongue on your clit is just a tongue- right??

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Fabicide.

A moment (or monents) where your usual fake,fawning Fab personality is forgotten and you reveal your true self only to be castigated and,eventually,cast aside by the forums and therefore reducing your already slim chance of ever getting laid on here...to none.

Most often presented in misogynistic abuse after a few beers, or in desperate attempts to attract some "breeding stock".

Occasionally a lady commits Fabicide, but this is rarely fatal due to the number of men who desperately seize on the chance to blow life into her dying profile and hopefully elsewhere as a result (See White Knights).

Fabicide is easy to find...just look for any following gleeful "Pull up a seat and I will get the popcorn" posts."

Love this!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good tips there, 12: Patience is the key

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reposting due to horrid horrid spelling.

Forumites - pack creatures that stalk the posts of niave newcomers and attack as a group with barbed words and sarcasm.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brightened up my lunchtime

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Reposting due to horrid horrid spelling.

Forumites - pack creatures that stalk the posts of niave newcomers and attack as a group with barbed words and sarcasm."

Oooooosh! What happened to 'keep it light?'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

White knight - an attempt (generally) by a single male to "ride in" and save the day on behalf of the opposite sex which is neither asked for or warranted in an attempt to impress. An alternative to the ever popular "look at me" threads.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Reposting due to horrid horrid spelling.

Forumites - pack creatures that stalk the posts of niave newcomers and attack as a group with barbed words and sarcasm.

Oooooosh! What happened to 'keep it light?' "

But but but... It was requested

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE


"Good tips there, 12: Patience is the key "

12. Patience.

Essential for any male on Fab because for some reason, singers are harder to pull than actual Nuns.

This also Inc men in couples unless their partner is exceptionally hot...or filthy.

If you look up Patience in the Fab dictionary you will see a pic of Shag Tonight, due to his insistence on it as a panacea for all evils. Unfortunately, not only has the most non literal user name on here but, after 3 years without a veris, he is now starting to doubt his own beliefs and may be moving his search area out of the bush in Penge.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Good tips there, 12: Patience is the key

12. Patience.

Essential for any male on Fab because for some reason, singers are harder to pull than actual Nuns.

This also Inc men in couples unless their partner is exceptionally hot...or filthy.

If you look up Patience in the Fab dictionary you will see a pic of Shag Tonight, due to his insistence on it as a panacea for all evils. Unfortunately, not only has the most non literal user name on here but, after 3 years without a veris, he is now starting to doubt his own beliefs and may be moving his search area out of the bush in Penge."

This really made me giggle! Beware though - I think Shag is secretly an axe murderer - he may be out to get you now!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Good tips there, 12: Patience is the key

12. Patience.

Essential for any male on Fab because for some reason, singers are harder to pull than actual Nuns.

This also Inc men in couples unless their partner is exceptionally hot...or filthy

If you look up Patience in the Fab dictionary you will see a pic of Shag Tonight, due to his insistence on it as a panacea for all evils. Unfortunately, not only has the most non literal user name on here but, after 3 years without a veris, he is now starting to doubt his own beliefs and may be moving his search area out of the bush in Penge."

13: haribos

The local delicy of penge eaten almost exclusively by the one and only shag tonight.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Good tips there, 12: Patience is the key

12. Patience.

Essential for any male on Fab because for some reason, singers are harder to pull than actual Nuns.

This also Inc men in couples unless their partner is exceptionally hot...or filthy.

If you look up Patience in the Fab dictionary you will see a pic of Shag Tonight, due to his insistence on it as a panacea for all evils. Unfortunately, not only has the most non literal user name on here but, after 3 years without a veris, he is now starting to doubt his own beliefs and may be moving his search area out of the bush in Penge.

This really made me giggle! Beware though - I think Shag is secretly an axe murderer - he may be out to get you now! "
Yes, that is a fun one lol, yeah it would be a quote from me in the dictionary, like in a thinking pose and everyone would wonder where that famous bush in penge is

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

To be honest Shag...I have been wondering for a very long time. I mean, most bushes see some action occasionally so this must be a very unusual one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Good tips there, 12: Patience is the key

12. Patience.

Essential for any male on Fab because for some reason, singers are harder to pull than actual Nuns.

This also Inc men in couples unless their partner is exceptionally hot...or filthy

If you look up Patience in the Fab dictionary you will see a pic of Shag Tonight, due to his insistence on it as a panacea for all evils. Unfortunately, not only has the most non literal user name on here but, after 3 years without a veris, he is now starting to doubt his own beliefs and may be moving his search area out of the bush in Penge.

13: haribos

The local delicy of penge eaten almost exclusively by the one and only shag tonight.

"
Good one that, yes I eat the majority of all the haribos here and made penge famous in the guide books, as the town of the haribos

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kiss fuck or pass ..

Useally where the males first say "Fuck " To every female . Before anyone else gets there first Then go and look to see what she looks like

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To be honest Shag...I have been wondering for a very long time. I mean, most bushes see some action occasionally so this must be a very unusual one. "
lol yes, this bush is a unique one, it sees it sometimes but not all the time, although many birds likes it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

14: "Look at me" thread

A thread started in the hope to drum up attention for the OPs profile.

Generally started when they :-

Have a big cock

Have a small cock

Have an average cock

Are tall

Are small

Are white, black or asian

Are getting loads of meets

Are getting no meets

Had their shopping delivered by tescos...

Generally ends in fabicide (see fabicide)

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fabicide.

A moment (or monents) where your usual fake,fawning Fab personality is forgotten and you reveal your true self only to be castigated and,eventually,cast aside by the forums and therefore reducing your already slim chance of ever getting laid on here...to none.

Most often presented in misogynistic abuse after a few beers, or in desperate attempts to attract some "breeding stock".

Occasionally a lady commits Fabicide, but this is rarely fatal due to the number of men who desperately seize on the chance to blow life into her dying profile and hopefully elsewhere as a result (See White Knights).

Fabicide is easy to find...just look for any following gleeful "Pull up a seat and I will get the popcorn" posts."

Guilty

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

15 Fabbing of a nice picture, does not mean I want to shag you, it just means I like the picture for what it is!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"14: "Look at me" thread

A thread started in the hope to drum up attention for the OPs profile.

Generally started when they :-

Have a big cock

Have a small cock

Have an average cock

Are tall

Are small

Are white, black or asian

Are getting loads of meets

Are getting no meets

Had their shopping delivered by tescos...

Generally ends in fabicide (see fabicide)

"

Also guilty

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By *ougarsandcubsWoman
over a year ago

Medway

Omg I love this fabitis. Cracked me up .. 9years at events and clubs have proven this so true when meeting certain people in the flesh

Sometimes I actually am shocked to the extreme this disease has spread .. It takes no prisoners

I think it's important to add the STDA

A crime of wrongful promotion through the name of a sexy fab name !!!

Swingers trade description act

Ie

. I'm the hottest swinger

Sexy sassy and sane

greatestlover

Best looking geezer on here

20inchcock

Pornstar

Etc etc

You get the idea xx

Funny feed

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ougarsandcubsWoman
over a year ago

Medway


"14: "Look at me" thread

A thread started in the hope to drum up attention for the OPs profile.

Generally started when they :-

Have a big cock

Have a small cock

Have an average cock

Are tall

Are small

Are white, black or asian

Are getting loads of meets

Are getting no meets

Had their shopping delivered by tescos...

Generally ends in fabicide (see fabicide)

Also guilty "

Does this cover. The.

What's wrong with my profile feed

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By *lovisMan
over a year ago

Twickenham

In the Spain forum single guys looking to meet for 'a drink and a laugh' = 'sex'

Men offering a massage = 'trying to touch your naughty bits'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fab straight - a multi definition term meaning either a) straight but willing to suck a cock to get into the pants of the female in a couple or b) Bi but "all my work mates are on here and I don't want it to look like I'm bi"

"

u forgot c) says they are straight but meets or wants to meet other men and CD/TV/TS

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

16: "u up 4 a fuk"

One liner message that works everytime, 0% of the time.

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By *reakShow90Man
over a year ago

Manchester/halifax


"16: "u up 4 a fuk"

One liner message that works everytime, 0% of the time."
sorry to be random but loove the blue hair lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"16: "u up 4 a fuk"

One liner message that works everytime, 0% of the time.sorry to be random but loove the blue hair lol"

Thank you!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

17 BBW - Someone who isn't a 'stick insect'!

STICK INSECT - Someone who isn't a BBW!

Ladies please be aware that, to make life less complicated for the good men of fab - it is now compulsory to be one or the other- as 'average' confuses them! So please immediately either:

a) Go on a starvation diet or

b) Buy a fridge full of pizza and chocolate and start munching!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"17 BBW - Someone who isn't a 'stick insect'!

STICK INSECT - Someone who isn't a BBW!

Ladies please be aware that, to make life less complicated for the good men of fab - it is now compulsory to be one or the other- as 'average' confuses them! So please immediately either:

a) Go on a starvation diet or

b) Buy a fridge full of pizza and chocolate and start munching!

"

c) "a)" can message me, I'll make sure that they burn any unwanted calories ;D.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ed LipstickWoman
over a year ago

Fucksville


"Fab straight - a multi definition term meaning either a) straight but willing to suck a cock to get into the pants of the female in a couple or b) Bi but "all my work mates are on here and I don't want it to look like I'm bi"

u forgot c) says they are straight but meets or wants to meet other men and CD/TV/TS"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

18: Trained masseuse - don't have a clue, just want sex, will occasionally squeeze your ass.

19: Trained Photographer - don't have a clue, just want sex, can take pictures on their phone, generally giant perverts.

20: Can make you squirt all night - don't have a clue, just want sex, don't realised they are being pee'd on.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley


"17 BBW - Someone who isn't a 'stick insect'!

STICK INSECT - Someone who isn't a BBW!

Ladies please be aware that, to make life less complicated for the good men of fab - it is now compulsory to be one or the other- as 'average' confuses them! So please immediately either:

a) Go on a starvation diet or

b) Buy a fridge full of pizza and chocolate and start munching!

"

I am average and happy to confuse them

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"18: Trained masseuse - don't have a clue, just want sex, will occasionally squeeze your ass.

19: Trained Photographer - don't have a clue, just want sex, can take pictures on their phone, generally giant perverts.

20: Can make you squirt all night - don't have a clue, just want sex, don't realised they are being pee'd on.

"

Love this - and oh so true!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Single (but married ) guys

Can't accommodate

Pictures include ladies toiletries in the mirror reflection along with pink towels

Looking for quickies

No face picture on show. If lucky you might get a cock pic over the loo

If your really special the Lynx can might appear

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

21: Mindless wank zombie - A term to describe "that guy" at a club that follows couples around perfusely masturbating at every single thing they do without ever engaging in conversation.

The zombie generally ends the night in tears with an over whelming sense of self hatred.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I have Fabitis.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Considerate" - Won't wipe their cock on your new curtains when they've finished, or squirt so much over your bed you may as well invite Jacques Cousteau to stay.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/04/16 15:31:19]

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By *herbert fountainWoman
over a year ago

Hanley


"Omg I love this fabitis. Cracked me up .. 9years at events and clubs have proven this so true when meeting certain people in the flesh

Sometimes I actually am shocked to the extreme this disease has spread .. It takes no prisoners

I think it's important to add the STDA

A crime of wrongful promotion through the name of a sexy fab name !!!

Swingers trade description act

Ie

. I'm the hottest swinger

Sexy sassy and sane

greatestlover

Best looking geezer on here

20inchcock

Pornstar

Etc etc

You get the idea xx

Funny feed "

You missed out 'Genuine'

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

21 FORUM TROLL - Arsehole/Bitch who trawls every thread from dawn 'till dusk looking for a way to piss on people's chips - or who is constantly outraged and turns the most innocent, innocuous comment into a vile insult and creates a full scale forum battle!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

22 FORUM TART (eg Peach Perfect) - a lady or gentleman who regularly flirts on the forums and picks up potential shags along the way!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"22 FORUM TART (eg Peach Perfect) - a lady or gentleman who regularly flirts on the forums and picks up potential shags along the way! "

That doesn't sound so bad

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

[Removed by poster at 26/04/16 17:52:08]

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

23 ONLY ME - someone (usually a man) who starts a forum thread supposedly to find out if he or she is the only person who finds something attractive that would have seen the human race die out many moons ago if indeed it was only them.

EG 'Am I the only person on Fab who likes breasts? Surely I'm not the only one? '

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Single (but married ) guys

Can't accommodate

Pictures include ladies toiletries in the mirror reflection along with pink towels

Looking for quickies

No face picture on show. If lucky you might get a cock pic over the loo

If your really special the Lynx can might appear "

Haha

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ikki ShooterTV/TS
over a year ago

Epsom


"Fab straight - a multi definition term meaning either a) straight but willing to suck a cock to get into the pants of the female in a couple or b) Bi but "all my work mates are on here and I don't want it to look like I'm bi"

u forgot c) says they are straight but meets or wants to meet other men and CD/TV/TS"

Got there before me!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love this thread so funny

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"22 FORUM TART (eg Peach Perfect) - a lady or gentleman who regularly flirts on the forums and picks up potential shags along the way!

That doesn't sound so bad "

Oh it isn't! Works perfectly for me!

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

Cake.

Nothing more needs to be said. Courtney is away so can't say apples.

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By *llie RoseWoman
over a year ago

By the seaside

Sky remote control - a universally recognised measurement of penis size.

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials


"Sky remote control - a universally recognised measurement of penis size. "

Or can of Lynx deodorant

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By *llie RoseWoman
over a year ago

By the seaside

Toilet - a must have accessory for the single male photo.

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By *lovisMan
over a year ago

Twickenham


"Toilet - a must have accessory for the single male photo. "

Unflushed with toilet paper in it.

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By *lovisMan
over a year ago

Twickenham


"Toilet - a must have accessory for the single male photo. "

Unflushed with toilet paper in it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

26 (ish) BEAUTIFUL WOMAN (Fab version) - Person with a vagina and a pulse - pulse negotiable!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"23 ONLY ME - someone (usually a man) who starts a forum thread supposedly to find out if he or she is the only person who finds something attractive that would have seen the human race die out many moons ago if indeed it was only them.

EG 'Am I the only person on Fab who likes breasts? Surely I'm not the only one? '"

Very true! Btw - am I the only woman in here who likes hot, muscly young guys?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

27. Show her the respect she deserves.

Usually found on a Veri from a male who want s to go back there. Also used as a warning that they don't want anyone else to.

If Carlsberg did Veri's...

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By *lovisMan
over a year ago

Twickenham


"Toilet - a must have accessory for the single male photo. "

Unflushed with toilet paper in it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

28: verified.

You can only have between 5 and 20 verifications, any less and you are likely a fake, anymore you are likely a whore.

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By *layfulserfMan
over a year ago

Northolt

24 PANDAS. Men who turn up for a quickie with litle social interaction... They just eat shoots and leaves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Single ladies that only meet daytime weekdays.

Married!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"24 PANDAS. Men who turn up for a quickie with litle social interaction... They just eat shoots and leaves"

I love this one. I'm going to use this term all the time!

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By *ustCurious9966Man
over a year ago

cambridge


"26 (ish) BEAUTIFUL WOMAN (Fab version) - Person with a vagina and a pulse - pulse negotiable! "

One of so many definitions to explain this fascinating alternative universe to a 'newbie' like me.

Newbie: Desperately seeking sex but expecting Bo Derek/Brad Pit to saunter over whilst Peter Sellers buys round of drinks and/or Angelina joins in

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"24 PANDAS. Men who turn up for a quickie with litle social interaction... They just eat shoots and leaves

I love this one. I'm going to use this term all the time!"

Yeah I love it too! Just pissed off I didn't think of it myself!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

(29)

Ladies .... Don't pass this one by!

Friends only pics, cut and paste serial messager who is slowly trying to work his way round a connected group

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

30: armchair swinger.

A person who decides to swing from the comfort of their own house and without ever meeting anyone ( so yes... Just a person) this particular brand of 'swinger' can generally be found attempting to tell everyone else how its done properly.

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral


"30: armchair swinger.

A person who decides to swing from the comfort of their own house and without ever meeting anyone ( so yes... Just a person) this particular brand of 'swinger' can generally be found attempting to tell everyone else how its done properly. "
seems to be a lot of these on the forums

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By *ustCurious9966Man
over a year ago

cambridge


"30: armchair swinger.

A person who decides to swing from the comfort of their own house and without ever meeting anyone ( so yes... Just a person) this particular brand of 'swinger' can generally be found attempting to tell everyone else how its done properly. seems to be a lot of these on the forums "

Not by choice! Though admittedly see definition of 'newbie'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

31 UNLOS user no longer on site. Either fabicide,embarrassed and had to leave, broke rules and banned, case of fab rage. Usually returns under a new name.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

32 Trawler, person usually male who messages you. Your friends, their friends etc...

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By *ikki ShooterTV/TS
over a year ago

Epsom

33. The false start. The person that friends you before even sending a wink or message..

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By *emon tart Double creamCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

The 1 week old ranter - usually male and can't believe that after 7 days of being on the site, with their one solitary dick pic, they aren't knee deep in pussy.

Fabicide usually follows then UNLOS

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ed LipstickWoman
over a year ago

Fucksville

[Removed by poster at 26/04/16 20:52:11]

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By *ed LipstickWoman
over a year ago

Fucksville

Loving all the above. Nice one peachy! X

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

Yoyos,those who repeatedly moan bout how crap fab is.Then deletes profile,rejoins and moans again.Miss.

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By *ustCurious9966Man
over a year ago

cambridge


"So hi newbies - and seasoned Fabbers who love a good piss take!

Thought it would be nice for us oldies to help you newbies out with some swinging terminology! I'll list a couple - then hopefully other fabbers will list a whole lot more!

Let's have fun - and keep it light hearted!

1) GENUINE SWINGER - someone who will shag you!

2) FAKE - Someone who won't shag you!

3) GO BEHINDER - Someone Who has a great body or cock/pussy but a face like a dog's dinner - ergo you'd only want to shag them if they go behind you/you go behind them!

4) FABITIS - a nasty and highly contagious disease whereby a man or woman - after being told by people who want access to their boxers/knickers that they are stunning and gorgeous - start to believe all the bullshit and become Fab Primadonnas - creating demanding profiles, insisting on meeting only Adonis like peeps - and completely overlooking the fact that in the 'real world ' they were last chatted up six years ago!

5) FAB MIRRORS! These are mostly owned by the peeps in category 4 and are highly prized! Often bought from defunct fun houses or children's fairytale books - they reflect an image of what the owner WANTS to look like - rather than what they actually look like!

Ergo they are younger, wrinkle free, stunningly beautiful, two sizes smaller and have an amazing breasts and arse (women) - men are also younger (or mysteriously older without those tell-tale signs of recent puberty), incredibly handsome, taller, and sport a six-pack and a cock ladies swoon over!

Right - over to you lot - the gym beckons!

Have fun and pretty please keep it light hearted! "

Thanks peach perfection for starting the ball rolling. This is definitely the forum post I've enjoyed the most. And the rest of you unusually dry people thanks and keep them coming.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *emon tart Double creamCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

The talk to the handers - they make a post asking for people to critique their profile. Then spend the next few hours arguing with people that they don't agree with. They then leave their profile as it is satisfied that their profile is perfect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

37: VWE Male

Someone who generally can't count up to 9 without skipping a few numbers.

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By *iguy39Man
over a year ago

manchester

Body off baywatch, face off crimewatch, similar to a gobehinder

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By *layfulserfMan
over a year ago

Northolt

38 QUACKERS. - "Straight" men who fuck TVs believing if it looks like a duck and Quacks like a duck, then its a straight fuck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

smashed it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Back to basics:

- a meet - a meeting involving sex, usually with a stranger;

- vanilla - non-swinging;

- to play - to have sex;

- mature - old;

- older woman - someone not to be seen with in public;

- toyboy - an inexperienced teenager;

- greedy girl - a girl who likes to be the centre of attention;

- not a swinger - someone who has registered on the site but is scared to experiment, often a self-righteous man who thinks that he is better than the women he is trying to meet because they've done things he can only have wet dreams about;

- racist: a woman who doesn't want to meet you;

- ugly: a woman who doesn't want to meet you;

- up her own as: ditto.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Back to basics:

- a meet - a meeting involving sex, usually with a stranger;

- vanilla - non-swinging;

- to play - to have sex;

- mature - old;

- older woman - someone not to be seen with in public;

- toyboy - an inexperienced teenager;

- greedy girl - a girl who likes to be the centre of attention;

- not a swinger - someone who has registered on the site but is scared to experiment, often a self-righteous man who thinks that he is better than the women he is trying to meet because they've done things he can only have wet dreams about;

- racist: a woman who doesn't want to meet you;

- ugly: a woman who doesn't want to meet you;

- up her own as: ditto."

Love it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Forumites - pack creatures that stalk the posts of niave newcomers and attack as a group with barbed words and sarcasm."

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

39 I DIDN'T WANT TO SHAG YOU ANYWAY YOU UGLY FUCKING BITCH!! - Standard and perfectly acceptable response to send to a female who turns you down when you were gracious enough to offer them your todger for a few hours!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unicorn

The unicorn is a legendary creature that has been described since antiquity as an attractive single lady with a large spiraling horn.. when faced with both male and females together as a couple. The unicorn was depicted in ancient seals of the FAB Civilization and was mentioned by the lucky couples in accounts of natural history by various writers. Although these mythical beasts appear only fantasy occasional glimpses and traces can be found by tireless searches of incredibly lucky couples testimonials.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The never ending question.,

So beards and tattoos?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh my goddesses Peach I have literally cried reading this.

Great thread?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"18: Trained masseuse - don't have a clue, just want sex, will occasionally squeeze your ass.

19: Trained Photographer - don't have a clue, just want sex, can take pictures on their phone, generally giant perverts.

20: Can make you squirt all night - don't have a clue, just want sex, don't realised they are being pee'd on.

"
you got that right, lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fabicide.

A moment (or monents) where your usual fake,fawning Fab personality is forgotten and you reveal your true self only to be castigated and,eventually,cast aside by the forums "

The trick to avoiding this is to start out as an asshole :p

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ownhouseTwosomeCouple
over a year ago

Birkenhead/Liverpool

[Removed by poster at 27/04/16 01:01:10]

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By *ownhouseTwosomeCouple
over a year ago

Birkenhead/Liverpool

[Removed by poster at 27/04/16 01:01:13]

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By *ownhouseTwosomeCouple
over a year ago

Birkenhead/Liverpool

Birkenhead

The Uber Swinger-

The one who sweeps into a party/club like they are gods gift, sits on their throne expecting people to approach them, then complain that nobody wanted to play with them. But then again, they have been there, done it and got the t-shirt after 3 meets so everybody else at said party are just cliquey!

The same Uber Swinger can be found skulking on forums offering pearls of wisdom based on said 3 meets and damn anyone who disagrees with their opinion.

Sorry for the 2 deleted messages... it's late!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *oonytoonMan
over a year ago

derby

The d*unken newbie: the profile of a d*unk fb couple on a Saturday night advertising the naughtiest of nights for the next weekend to then be followed by the monday evening 'user no longer on site' profile whose pictures strangely appear on a different d*unken newbie profile some weeks later lol

The I am fab profile - (briefly described earlier) the one that joined in 1922 and bullet points there profile with a biblical sized list of what not to do, look like or think like if you want to contact them leaving the only option to approach them being to present your (groomed within an inch of its life) hercules sized penis on a gold plated velvet cushion covered in your very latest face pic (which they won't return one of them because of there highly important job and stature in life) from your photo shoot for GQ front cover and a list of verifications from the likes of jenna jameson (who is no where near the standard of beauty of the person owning the profile which needs stating in capital letters) and constructing a message that would rival the works of shakespere and should in no way mention obvious words like hello or how are you but also should not appear to get direct to the point of the message (being would you like to fuck me?) and requires the grammatical accuracy of a professor in English and above all you mus be willing to wait at least a year for a reply as there just 'inundated with messages and they can't possibly read them all'

But when you look at the whole profile it is finished with a light hearted 'but I'm fun really' and you would be missing out if you didn't jump through all the flaming hoops provided and they have 50veris 49 of which are on cam and the only meet was from the 'ive known this person for years' type veri which is clearly the gay best friend from school lol

Sorry I may have ranted a little there which leads me to my next one

The decent single bloke - Me! For description see above in the get attention via posts section lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I forgot this one:

- easy - a woman who has said no to you (a synonym of "racist", "ugly" and "up her own ass").

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Trojan horse - a select few, mainly single males and dubious couples, who pretend to befriend you through messaging and winks with the sole purpose of getting into your 'friends only' pics by way of accepting their friend requests.

Then what usually ensues is that they will have a good ol' hearty look at ya, decide that you really are not what they were after, and proceed to unfriend and probably block you so as to never cross paths again. Smug *ricks!!

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By *uessWhosBackAgainMan
over a year ago

London


"4) FABITIS - a nasty and highly contagious disease whereby a man or woman - after being told by people who want access to their boxers/knickers that they are stunning and gorgeous - start to believe all the bullshit and become Fab Primadonnas - creating demanding profiles, insisting on meeting only Adonis like peeps - and completely overlooking the fact that in the 'real world ' they were last chatted up six years ago!

5) FAB MIRRORS! These are mostly owned by the peeps in category 4 and are highly prized! Often bought from defunct fun houses or children's fairytale books - they reflect an image of what the owner WANTS to look like - rather than what they actually look like!"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *oonytoonMan
over a year ago

derby

The 'couple' - the profile that states there a couple but only have one photo and that's of the woman (probably a pic of there ex) has not been even photo verified or has one verification (from there best friend or there own single profile stating that they've known this 'couple' for years) and puts up a status apparently written by the woman saying things like 'need all my holes filling now' or from the man asking 'who wants to use my mrs' but mysteriously has only ever the man available to talk, and they always send a friend request (an attempt to wank over your pics when your not online) lol

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

Keyboard Warriors - subsection of forumite. aka The Messiahs. Those who feel in their threads and comments that their opinion is fact, if you disagree they always have a second coming, stating their way is the way to be saved and enlightened. in their mission they will also try to get you to break forum rules, so you get banned (to hell)

Lampposting. the act of competition through comments on the forums, to someone you feel you have more right than anyone else, to talk to.

The Swingle - The single person who fulfills couples fantasies, but cannot be a true Swinger, often ignored in threads where pampas grass plants and car keys are being negotiated, for exchange purposes.

The True Swinger - Those couples who are more than happy to have you as an accessory to their extra martial antics, but treat you as if your place was to be on speed dial, for their use and needs. blocking you if you so dare to have an identity or desires of your own.

The Very Veri Bitch. the woman that gives a man loads of shit via pm/ txt or phone, when another woman has met them and verified them. putting down his choice of 'other woman' often threatening to withdraw her own meets and friendship,to ensure he never sees her again. Meanwhile she will be as friendly as ever, to the woman on the forums, because 'nothings wrong'.

The Teddy bear. the woman who happens to be on at 11 30 pm at night who gets a dozen messages from men, all wanting a bedtime story.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So hi newbies - and seasoned Fabbers who love a good piss take!

Thought it would be nice for us oldies to help you newbies out with some swinging terminology! I'll list a couple - then hopefully other fabbers will list a whole lot more!

Let's have fun - and keep it light hearted!

1) GENUINE SWINGER - someone who will shag you!

2) FAKE - Someone who won't shag you!

3) GO BEHINDER - Someone Who has a great body or cock/pussy but a face like a dog's dinner - ergo you'd only want to shag them if they go behind you/you go behind them!

4) FABITIS - a nasty and highly contagious disease whereby a man or woman - after being told by people who want access to their boxers/knickers that they are stunning and gorgeous - start to believe all the bullshit and become Fab Primadonnas - creating demanding profiles, insisting on meeting only Adonis like peeps - and completely overlooking the fact that in the 'real world ' they were last chatted up six years ago!

5) FAB MIRRORS! These are mostly owned by the peeps in category 4 and are highly prized! Often bought from defunct fun houses or children's fairytale books - they reflect an image of what the owner WANTS to look like - rather than what they actually look like!

Ergo they are younger, wrinkle free, stunningly beautiful, two sizes smaller and have an amazing breasts and arse (women) - men are also younger (or mysteriously older without those tell-tale signs of recent puberty), incredibly handsome, taller, and sport a six-pack and a cock ladies swoon over!

Right - over to you lot - the gym beckons!

Have fun and pretty please keep it light hearted! "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh the I can't possibly share face pics due to my important and professional job so when we meet we both have to wear a bag over our heads as I can't possibly afford for you to recognise me as I'm so important .......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

40: The club promoter aka regular venue bike anyone can ride as long as they go and pay the entry fee. She states she only plays there and meets there and constantly shows on her status she is always there 24/7

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

41: The pic collector.

Tales of the pic collector stretch back through history, from ancient Egypt to modern day, some say he wears a hooded cloak and stalks couples profiles in the dark of night waiting for his moment to pounce.

The fab equivalent of the boogy Man, the pic collector will steal every single photo you have, push for face pics and then upload them to a well known porn site for lols, the only known way to combat the pic collector is holy water and common sense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

42: The silhouette.

The most common avatar used, more often than not used by people who complain that nobody ever meets on fab and its full of time wasters.

Quite often 'the silhouette' is accompanied by a one line profile and messages sent include the famous "up 4 a fuk" and other variations upon that theme.

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By *xoticloverMan
over a year ago

newcastle


"41: The pic collector.

Tales of the pic collector stretch back through history, from ancient Egypt to modern day, some say he wears a hooded cloak and stalks couples profiles in the dark of night waiting for his moment to pounce.

The fab equivalent of the boogy Man, the pic collector will steal every single photo you have, push for face pics and then upload them to a well known porn site for lols, the only known way to combat the pic collector is holy water and common sense."

Hilarious ...is that Mike or Millie??

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The d*unken newbie: the profile of a d*unk fb couple on a Saturday night advertising the naughtiest of nights for the next weekend to then be followed by the monday evening 'user no longer on site' profile whose pictures strangely appear on a different d*unken newbie profile some weeks later lol

The I am fab profile - (briefly described earlier) the one that joined in 1922 and bullet points there profile with a biblical sized list of what not to do, look like or think like if you want to contact them leaving the only option to approach them being to present your (groomed within an inch of its life) hercules sized penis on a gold plated velvet cushion covered in your very latest face pic (which they won't return one of them because of there highly important job and stature in life) from your photo shoot for GQ front cover and a list of verifications from the likes of jenna jameson (who is no where near the standard of beauty of the person owning the profile which needs stating in capital letters) and constructing a message that would rival the works of shakespere and should in no way mention obvious words like hello or how are you but also should not appear to get direct to the point of the message (being would you like to fuck me?) and requires the grammatical accuracy of a professor in English and above all you mus be willing to wait at least a year for a reply as there just 'inundated with messages and they can't possibly read them all'

But when you look at the whole profile it is finished with a light hearted 'but I'm fun really' and you would be missing out if you didn't jump through all the flaming hoops provided and they have 50veris 49 of which are on cam and the only meet was from the 'ive known this person for years' type veri which is clearly the gay best friend from school lol

Sorry I may have ranted a little there which leads me to my next one

The decent single bloke - Me! For description see above in the get attention via posts section lol "

A lot of this is spot on!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"41: The pic collector.

Tales of the pic collector stretch back through history, from ancient Egypt to modern day, some say he wears a hooded cloak and stalks couples profiles in the dark of night waiting for his moment to pounce.

The fab equivalent of the boogy Man, the pic collector will steal every single photo you have, push for face pics and then upload them to a well known porn site for lols, the only known way to combat the pic collector is holy water and common sense.

Hilarious ...is that Mike or Millie?? "

Our combined... Erm... 'Humour' are going into these, we work as a team baby!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *xoticloverMan
over a year ago

newcastle


"41: The pic collector.

Tales of the pic collector stretch back through history, from ancient Egypt to modern day, some say he wears a hooded cloak and stalks couples profiles in the dark of night waiting for his moment to pounce.

The fab equivalent of the boogy Man, the pic collector will steal every single photo you have, push for face pics and then upload them to a well known porn site for lols, the only known way to combat the pic collector is holy water and common sense.

Hilarious ...is that Mike or Millie??

Our combined... Erm... 'Humour' are going into these, we work as a team baby!"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"41: The pic collector.

Tales of the pic collector stretch back through history, from ancient Egypt to modern day, some say he wears a hooded cloak and stalks couples profiles in the dark of night waiting for his moment to pounce.

The fab equivalent of the boogy Man, the pic collector will steal every single photo you have, push for face pics and then upload them to a well known porn site for lols, the only known way to combat the pic collector is holy water and common sense."

Love this!!!

You two are as weird and twisted as me! - I think I'm in love!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

- The "Honest" Person - Someone who will tell you precisely what they think you want to hear to get in your pants. Often this is completely unlinked to reality, truth or sanity. As in "100% Honest, Reliable and Genuine single male - Married and wife doesn't know".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The catfish - confused humanoids who put up all sorts of rubbish on their profiles in an attempt to grab your attention. Typically no veris with decent looking face and body pics. If your then desperate enough to meet these losers, you soon find out that Romeo, 35, with the six pack and Colgate smile is actually toothless Barry, 49, in the piss stained trousers sat in the corner sniffing panties. How did you not see that coming??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The catfish - confused humanoids who put up all sorts of rubbish on their profiles in an attempt to grab your attention. Typically no veris with decent looking face and body pics. If your then desperate enough to meet these losers, you soon find out that Romeo, 35, with the six pack and Colgate smile is actually toothless Barry, 49, in the piss stained trousers sat in the corner sniffing panties. How did you not see that coming??"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

42? If I can count?

"Why can't I get a meet" posts. [invariably male only]

(A) a look at me post thinly disguised

(B) someone who had no patience...usually posted by someone who has been on less than two weeks and is amazed that he is not knee deep in wet clunge.

(C) a clearly married bloke, pretending to be single and fooling no-one

(D) a poster with a profile a fraction of the length of his moaning post and with either no pics or 43 cock pics in a dirty bathroom.

I'm sure folks could complete the alphabet just on this one

43. Ruler. A sky remote, Lynx can etc....the only true cock size measuring device.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yoyo-ing

the inability to stop yourself posting periodic rants for whatever reason and declaring your unshakeable decision to leave fab on a weekly basis

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Younger guy for older Women.

Everyone's favourite forum topic.

Swiftly leads to Fabicide

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Post-mortem - the seemingly blind and ignorant creatures that go on forums and start what they think is a new topic for all to marvel at. When in fact said topic has been done so many bloody times that it may cause regular Forumites to roll their eyes and their sleeves up to start typing abuse to these timewasting ijits. Newbies are usually the first to get publicly e-hanged.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

44:? The online Virgin.

These unfortunate souls have become a victim of the cyber age we live in now, unable to converse to women in the traditional sense they instead court and woo with the use of a keyboard.

Most online virgins believe this to be an attractive trait on a website about sex... They soon realise most prefer that someone knows which bits go where

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By *ikki ShooterTV/TS
over a year ago

Epsom

The international spy....

That person that wants to see all your photos but can't send one face pic in case they fall into the wrong hands.....

Often married or fab-straight

Or both

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"41: The pic collector.

Tales of the pic collector stretch back through history, from ancient Egypt to modern day, some say he wears a hooded cloak and stalks couples profiles in the dark of night waiting for his moment to pounce.

The fab equivalent of the boogy Man, the pic collector will steal every single photo you have, push for face pics and then upload them to a well known porn site for lols, the only known way to combat the pic collector is holy water and common sense.

Love this!!!

You two are as weird and twisted as me! - I think I'm in love!! "

N'aaaaaaaaw! What a lovely compliment (it was a compliment right?) isn't it great finding likeminded weirdo's!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We found a couple earlier

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By *ustusboth2013Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

BAREBACK - These are generally the posers that like to always take their tops off and show their tanned bodies.

If you meet anyone that says bareback only, be sure to take some suncream with you if it's a hot day. It will be much appreciated and you will be very much rewarded!

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

'Vigilante Swingers' whatever you do don't have a controversial opinion on here or in a club if a possible vigilante swinger is about. These rat like creatures don't have the backbone to challenge your opinion! they don't fuck about they go straight to the authorities (mods on here) (nurse ratchet club owners) an blow you up.

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By *ackett1962Man
over a year ago

harrow

Guilty as charged

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By *ustusboth2013Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"BAREBACK - These are generally the posers that like to always take their tops off and show their tanned bodies.

If you meet anyone that says bareback only, be sure to take some suncream with you if it's a hot day. It will be much appreciated and you will be very much rewarded!"

VANILLA - Typically these are swingers that do not do oral or anything naughty. They like to have sex only in the bedroom, in a bed, missionary position; with the light off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

BBC ONLY - mostly women and couples who won't watch ITV, Channel 4 or even Dave out of choice. They've tried the Beeb once and enjoyed it so much that they won't be going back. These people get a lot of satisfaction watching the 'long' shows with the 'thick' plots, usually in black and white

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

49? 'ADVENTUROUS IN BED' - (On a new profile!) - Forget restraints, anal, toys, spanking, hair-pulling, cream pie etc - Adventurous for these dare-devil mother fuckers is even contemplating putting your head 'down there' (eeeeew - how could you?), inserting fingers and twiddling them about a bit (sanitary wipes at the ready!), or having sex for more than ten minutes in more than two positions! (Omfg Barry - did you know they could go on top??)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"BBC ONLY - mostly women and couples who won't watch ITV, Channel 4 or even Dave out of choice. They've tried the Beeb once and enjoyed it so much that they won't be going back. These people get a lot of satisfaction watching the 'long' shows with the 'thick' plots, usually in black and white "

I see what you did there!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Peach your awesome I love this thread x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"38 QUACKERS. - "Straight" men who fuck TVs believing if it looks like a duck and Quacks like a duck, then its a straight fuck"

Love this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Loving this thread so funny

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Peach your awesome I love this thread x"

Why thank you dear - you're not bad yourself!

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By *ustusboth2013Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

Yeah it's good to know I'm not the only strange one out there!

So the newbies are probably also wondering what FFFF stands for.

It's the RGB value for White. The extra F is to make it whiter than white.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Number I don't even fucking know anymore: "420"

A term used by people who enjoy smoking a little more than tobacco or taking pills that aren't paracetamol.

People who use the term 420 are generally loopy enough without the use of illegal substances but become raving horndog nutcase fruit loops while under the influnce.

Worth a go if you enjoy laughing at someone more than shagging, otherwise to be avoided.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""Considerate" - Won't wipe their cock on your new curtains when they've finished, or squirt so much over your bed you may as well invite Jacques Cousteau to stay. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Loving this thread x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"49? 'ADVENTUROUS IN BED' - (On a new profile!) - Forget restraints, anal, toys, spanking, hair-pulling, cream pie etc - Adventurous for these dare-devil mother fuckers is even contemplating putting your head 'down there' (eeeeew - how could you?), inserting fingers and twiddling them about a bit (sanitary wipes at the ready!), or having sex for more than ten minutes in more than two positions! (Omfg Barry - did you know they could go on top??) "

Glad you put that up. I thought I was adventurous in bed cos I watch Bear Grylls whilst eating a grab pack of Doritos whilst in said bed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For ladies only this one......

Bi-Curious: tried it once

Well beyond bi:curious: tried it twice

(Because it is so hard [apparently] to find other bi-women on here that no-one has got to number three yet!)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"49? 'ADVENTUROUS IN BED' - (On a new profile!) - Forget restraints, anal, toys, spanking, hair-pulling, cream pie etc - Adventurous for these dare-devil mother fuckers is even contemplating putting your head 'down there' (eeeeew - how could you?), inserting fingers and twiddling them about a bit (sanitary wipes at the ready!), or having sex for more than ten minutes in more than two positions! (Omfg Barry - did you know they could go on top??)

Glad you put that up. I thought I was adventurous in bed cos I watch Bear Grylls whilst eating a grab pack of Doritos whilst in said bed "

- By the way - it's customary to remove your boxer shorts before you get in the shower!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Number 421 ???? What about couple meeting other couples... After lots of ping pong messages "they" say only meeting fems !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"49? 'ADVENTUROUS IN BED' - (On a new profile!) - Forget restraints, anal, toys, spanking, hair-pulling, cream pie etc - Adventurous for these dare-devil mother fuckers is even contemplating putting your head 'down there' (eeeeew - how could you?), inserting fingers and twiddling them about a bit (sanitary wipes at the ready!), or having sex for more than ten minutes in more than two positions! (Omfg Barry - did you know they could go on top??)

Glad you put that up. I thought I was adventurous in bed cos I watch Bear Grylls whilst eating a grab pack of Doritos whilst in said bed

- By the way - it's customary to remove your boxer shorts before you get in the shower! "

Boxer shorts? Crumbs! You mean 'tighty whiteys' are out? When did that happen?

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By *iss AdventureWoman
over a year ago

Wonderland

"KNIGHT/PRINCE/KING" -men

"LADY/PRINCESS/QUEEN" -women

People outside of the forums with these words in their profile name are none of these things. In the same way you'll never find a "bargain" at Bargain Buys, and any product with the word "quality" in the title is anything but.

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By *iss AdventureWoman
over a year ago

Wonderland

FLIRVERT/FLIRVERTING

Someone who makes a flirtatious comment to someone having perved at their profile pics or in relation to avatar

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By *ustusboth2013Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

There's 27 tones of bi.

You probably know the standard bicurious and bisexual. And the odd biplayful.

But then you have bi-sortofcurious, bi-onlytwiceamonthcurious, bi-iwasoncecurious, bi-ionlydoitformymansexual, bi-imnotbibutverystraightbutcouldnthelpmyselfonyoursexyladysexual, See-try-bi and many more.

Definitions do vary from region to region. A bit like the rules of pool.

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By *ustusboth2013Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

[Removed by poster at 28/04/16 00:03:56]

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By *ustusboth2013Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

FAB-GOGGLES - The negative form of playing Spot the Swinger but when you are out in vanilla life and you get paranoid when you see someone, especially when they look back and you get nervous and say to your partner. That's a swinger! I've seen their pics.

The example in reply would be along the lines of "Don't be silly! You've got your fab-goggles on! Relax!"

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By *layfulCouple86Couple
over a year ago

Lancashire


"39 I DIDN'T WANT TO SHAG YOU ANYWAY YOU UGLY FUCKING BITCH!! - Standard and perfectly acceptable response to send to a female who turns you down when you were gracious enough to offer them your todger for a few hours! "

Kudos on the use of "todger" haha its a massively under utilised word

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By *horehouseCouple
over a year ago

dissatisfied

The Holiday Swinger

Messages incessantly for weeks and never turns up

The swinging couple who want to meet but need to find a kids club for 10 year old

The single guy who seems to have forgotten he bought the wife so can get get away between 12 & 12.15, make sure your ready for him in the dunes !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My female counterpart,the butter face (all good except for....that face!)

Of the body off baywatch/face off crimewatch,gobehinder variety.

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By *laskan lovers 1984Couple
over a year ago

West midlands


"Time waster - anyone that replies to a message or fabs a picture but then refuses to sleep with them."

Ah ha Fabed lol

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

Social Meet

Not unlike Tinder or Pof date where the main aim is to discover whether the person on the opposite side of the table is even remotely like their pics and is within the acceptable 5 yr difference in real and "Fab Age".

Usually neither of this apply and results in an hour of stunted and clichéd conversation with the lady/couple desperately trying to find an "out" before bolting out of Costa like a startled colt.

These usually result in veris describing how witty and scintillating the (usually) male was and how they look forward to seeing them "for more".

Social meets result in less sex for an average guy on Fab, than an actual minger on POF/Tinder.

Social anthropologists have discovered that this is due to the combination of desperation felt by vanilla ladies in the dating world and the already discussed strong influence of the Fab Mirror on very ordinary ladies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lmfaooo... Best thread ever!!

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By *laskan lovers 1984Couple
over a year ago

West midlands

TIME SHIFTER

Profile says age 38

Picture looks more like age 60

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE


"TIME SHIFTER

Profile says age 38

Picture looks more like age 60

"

Or...

Profile says 45

Pic looks 45...as in taken in 1945

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"49? 'ADVENTUROUS IN BED' - (On a new profile!) - Forget restraints, anal, toys, spanking, hair-pulling, cream pie etc - Adventurous for these dare-devil mother fuckers is even contemplating putting your head 'down there' (eeeeew - how could you?), inserting fingers and twiddling them about a bit (sanitary wipes at the ready!), or having sex for more than ten minutes in more than two positions! (Omfg Barry - did you know they could go on top??)

Glad you put that up. I thought I was adventurous in bed cos I watch Bear Grylls whilst eating a grab pack of Doritos whilst in said bed

- By the way - it's customary to remove your boxer shorts before you get in the shower!

Boxer shorts? Crumbs! You mean 'tighty whiteys' are out? When did that happen? "

1992 I believe!

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By *ittle Pocket PerveWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

This thread has made me chuckle, love it

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

Discreet

Ok I promise not to tell your husband you're on here if you promise not to tell my wife...

Discrete

Can't spell or doesn't know The definition of discreet.

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

Quality Over Quantity

will message the pretty ones first, then the average ones and if no luck standards will be dropped

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

Forum clique Member= the Formuties that agree with each other when it's the opposing viewpoint of another member

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