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"I can sort of understand why guys in particular do this as so many messages get ignored or deleted I don't blame them for not wanting to waste time writing an epic personalised message every time " That's a very good point didn't really think of it that way. I suppose because we only send a few messages we spend a lot of time reading the profile and trying to put that across in the message.If your sending quite a few it could be time consuming x | |||
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"Yet when I get the same copy and pasted messages from the same people over and over again I think do you even have a clue that you've messaged me umpteen times before? (I know they don't)" Had some of those types, we block when that happens. | |||
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"It is a tricky one. We prefer a good well thought out message but we understand that often any message will be ignored if the person is not our type. We know one liners are more of a invitation to chat further " We see it in a very similar way. You can write a fabulous message, and it might get a conversation going, but it we dont fancy you from your pictures, you're not going to change our minds with your words. And conversely, we will be more than happy to overlook a one liner if we fancy the look of you, and can string a sentence together in your subsequent messages. But that's just us, other people play different ways and look for different things. | |||
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"I can sort of understand why guys in particular do this as so many messages get ignored or deleted I don't blame them for not wanting to waste time writing an epic personalised message every time That's a very good point didn't really think of it that way. I suppose because we only send a few messages we spend a lot of time reading the profile and trying to put that across in the message.If your sending quite a few it could be time consuming x" We wouldn't subscribe to this view. Copy and paste messages are a lazy 'spray n pray' numbers game. You have a good profile that gives plenty of opportunity for a message sender to think up something thoughtful to write. Stick it out and you'll get some good messages. Or, go out and do the hunting yourselves. | |||
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"Are we just unlucky, or expecting too much? We usually receive roughly 2 to 3 messages a day some days higher some days none. The problem we have is they are nearly always one liners such as "fancy a meet tonight" or "I'm a genuine guy wanna chat" I can honestly say we have maybe received 5 or 6 messages on here that we consider to be "good". I know what constitutes a good message is personal opinion but all we're looking for is someone who has actually read our profile and not just sent a copy and paste message that they sent to everyone. Are we being too picky or is this what we should expect? -K" I always make an effort of sending a message but it does get annoying when you get fuck all back | |||
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"It is a tricky one. We prefer a good well thought out message but we understand that often any message will be ignored if the person is not our type. We know one liners are more of a invitation to chat further " This is precisely why I gave up. Doesn't matter what I put. Had more interaction via the forum. | |||
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" Had more interaction via the forum." Bingo | |||
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"I must admit, I asked for help from the forum once, and the general consensus was patience" Bet a million quid I know who said to be patient... | |||
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"I must admit, I asked for help from the forum once, and the general consensus was patience, and continue as you are, so I'm now highly selective with whom I message and only really tend to say if I'm willing to meet or if I'm going to a club. Anything more is bonus and if nothing rises I'll perv profiles or watch porn. No point crying over spillt jizz" By the way, inject your own grammar, mine sucks | |||
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"I must admit, I asked for help from the forum once, and the general consensus was patience Bet a million quid I know who said to be patient... " Hahaha, OK, give me a million quid and I'm in | |||
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"Block everyone and go looking for the people you want to meet. Simple." this has always been what I've done and as I don't send out hundreds in a day or week, I'm not disappointed if I don't get a reply. | |||
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"I had a good one the other day, simply said: "Breed me" Which has brevity, I suppose" Points for originality though | |||
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"I must admit, I asked for help from the forum once, and the general consensus was patience Bet a million quid I know who said to be patient... Hahaha, OK, give me a million quid and I'm in" I plan on being a multi billionaire in about 4 more incarnations, will cut you a cheque then | |||
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"I must admit, I asked for help from the forum once, and the general consensus was patience Bet a million quid I know who said to be patient... Hahaha, OK, give me a million quid and I'm in I plan on being a multi billionaire in about 4 more incarnations, will cut you a cheque then" I'll be near the end of my twelfth regeneration then, at least I'll have something to show for it | |||
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"I had a good one the other day, simply said: "Breed me" Which has brevity, I suppose Points for originality though " Oh no, there was one in actual sentences from a guy who wanted me to drop everything, bring a funnel, a load of cum I saved in the freezer (like WTF?) and then, well... I'll leave the rest to your imagination. THAT was original. | |||
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"A lady sent me a message saying, "Hi". I could have deleted her unoriginal one word message. But instead I replied and asked how her day was" (An unoriginal response) She told me she'd just finished work and was on her way home, browsing fab. Next thing you know we were engaged in a good, easy flowing chat. We arranged to meet, met and enjoyed ourselves. And it all began with an unoriginal, "Hi"." In my mind, and for me, that is exactly how it should work excellent to see that others are on the same wavelength. | |||
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"A lady sent me a message saying, "Hi". I could have deleted her unoriginal one word message. But instead I replied and asked how her day was" (An unoriginal response) She told me she'd just finished work and was on her way home, browsing fab. Next thing you know we were engaged in a good, easy flowing chat. We arranged to meet, met and enjoyed ourselves. And it all began with an unoriginal, "Hi". In my mind, and for me, that is exactly how it should work excellent to see that others are on the same wavelength. " Sorry to sound skeptical here, but how likely is that to work the other way around? The guy just typing hi I mean. It's nice to hear that it can work, and I'm glad you had a good time, but I feel ladies are more likely to get a response from it | |||
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"I had a good one the other day, simply said: "Breed me" Which has brevity, I suppose Points for originality though Oh no, there was one in actual sentences from a guy who wanted me to drop everything, bring a funnel, a load of cum I saved in the freezer (like WTF?) and then, well... I'll leave the rest to your imagination. THAT was original." Did it defrost on the way there or .... | |||
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" In my mind, and for me, that is exactly how it should work excellent to see that others are on the same wavelength. " But won't I be banned from the Fab website for breaking four golden rules? 1. Not deleting an unoriginal message. 2. Not deleting a one word message. 3. Not blocking the sender of such an atrocious message. 4. Not demanding and expectating to be sent a unique message. Because I'm worth it. | |||
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"A lady sent me a message saying, "Hi". I could have deleted her unoriginal one word message. But instead I replied and asked how her day was" (An unoriginal response) She told me she'd just finished work and was on her way home, browsing fab. Next thing you know we were engaged in a good, easy flowing chat. We arranged to meet, met and enjoyed ourselves. And it all began with an unoriginal, "Hi". In my mind, and for me, that is exactly how it should work excellent to see that others are on the same wavelength. Sorry to sound skeptical here, but how likely is that to work the other way around? The guy just typing hi I mean. It's nice to hear that it can work, and I'm glad you had a good time, but I feel ladies are more likely to get a response from it" It's worked with me that way before. So yes it can work. | |||
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"A lady sent me a message saying, "Hi". I could have deleted her unoriginal one word message. But instead I replied and asked how her day was" (An unoriginal response) She told me she'd just finished work and was on her way home, browsing fab. Next thing you know we were engaged in a good, easy flowing chat. We arranged to meet, met and enjoyed ourselves. And it all began with an unoriginal, "Hi". In my mind, and for me, that is exactly how it should work excellent to see that others are on the same wavelength. Sorry to sound skeptical here, but how likely is that to work the other way around? The guy just typing hi I mean. It's nice to hear that it can work, and I'm glad you had a good time, but I feel ladies are more likely to get a response from it It's worked with me that way before. So yes it can work. " Absolutely with me too. But then i don't count because I'm not one of fabs most desirables. | |||
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"A lady sent me a message saying, "Hi". I could have deleted her unoriginal one word message. But instead I replied and asked how her day was" (An unoriginal response) She told me she'd just finished work and was on her way home, browsing fab. Next thing you know we were engaged in a good, easy flowing chat. We arranged to meet, met and enjoyed ourselves. And it all began with an unoriginal, "Hi". In my mind, and for me, that is exactly how it should work excellent to see that others are on the same wavelength. Sorry to sound skeptical here, but how likely is that to work the other way around? The guy just typing hi I mean. It's nice to hear that it can work, and I'm glad you had a good time, but I feel ladies are more likely to get a response from it It's worked with me that way before. So yes it can work. " Ah ce l'avie, just as I was beginning to think I was getting the hang of it lol | |||
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"A lady sent me a message saying, "Hi". I could have deleted her unoriginal one word message. But instead I replied and asked how her day was" (An unoriginal response) She told me she'd just finished work and was on her way home, browsing fab. Next thing you know we were engaged in a good, easy flowing chat. We arranged to meet, met and enjoyed ourselves. And it all began with an unoriginal, "Hi". In my mind, and for me, that is exactly how it should work excellent to see that others are on the same wavelength. Sorry to sound skeptical here, but how likely is that to work the other way around? The guy just typing hi I mean. It's nice to hear that it can work, and I'm glad you had a good time, but I feel ladies are more likely to get a response from it It's worked with me that way before. So yes it can work. Absolutely with me too. But then i don't count because I'm not one of fabs most desirables. " Me neither, thank fuck! (Is it really desirable to have an ego larger than the sun?) | |||
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"Sorry to sound skeptical here, but how likely is that to work the other way around? The guy just typing hi I mean. It's nice to hear that it can work, and I'm glad you had a good time, but I feel ladies are more likely to get a response from it" Alot of the people (women or couples mostly) on Fab who say they can't find what they want here. Are often the same folk who'll delete an opening message because they expect it to be at least fifteen words minimum and only fourteen words were written. | |||
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"A lady sent me a message saying, "Hi". I could have deleted her unoriginal one word message. But instead I replied and asked how her day was" (An unoriginal response) She told me she'd just finished work and was on her way home, browsing fab. Next thing you know we were engaged in a good, easy flowing chat. We arranged to meet, met and enjoyed ourselves. And it all began with an unoriginal, "Hi". In my mind, and for me, that is exactly how it should work excellent to see that others are on the same wavelength. Sorry to sound skeptical here, but how likely is that to work the other way around? The guy just typing hi I mean. It's nice to hear that it can work, and I'm glad you had a good time, but I feel ladies are more likely to get a response from it It's worked with me that way before. So yes it can work. Absolutely with me too. But then i don't count because I'm not one of fabs most desirables. " I can see why you might think that, but I find your profile and pictures quite desirable, especially because you're upfront with everything, so your opinion does count | |||
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"A lady sent me a message saying, "Hi". I could have deleted her unoriginal one word message. But instead I replied and asked how her day was" (An unoriginal response) She told me she'd just finished work and was on her way home, browsing fab. Next thing you know we were engaged in a good, easy flowing chat. We arranged to meet, met and enjoyed ourselves. And it all began with an unoriginal, "Hi". In my mind, and for me, that is exactly how it should work excellent to see that others are on the same wavelength. Sorry to sound skeptical here, but how likely is that to work the other way around? The guy just typing hi I mean. It's nice to hear that it can work, and I'm glad you had a good time, but I feel ladies are more likely to get a response from it It's worked with me that way before. So yes it can work. " We much prefer a message to just express an interest . First thing we do is check th epics , quick read of profile and veris , and if all good we meet . Works perfectly for us . If when we meet there's no connection we happily chat a while and let them down gently . But more often than not it works out really well for all parties . | |||
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"We understand that people don't want to write essays just for it to be ignored or deleted so are happy with a one liner to begin with. What annoys us are those who once you start up a conversation persist in sending one liners we quickly lose interested and stop replying." Totally with you on this. As long as the one liner shows that the fella has read and understood my profile (or at least partly understood, I don't mind questions) and includes photos of him that aren't just of his cock, I don't mind. If the one liners continue though I end up having nothing to reply to ... | |||
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"There is a couple who in their profile bemoan the lack of manners on Fab I wrote and agreed with them it probably took 10 minutes to write it with vakud reasoning etc It got deleted with 30 seconds and that's not a moan its a fact But it did strike me as rather ironic" Whilst I know about the hundreds on one liners I get here that are totally inappropriate and have never convinced me of anything, plus the random friend requests, I can see it from your side too. My partner, on his single male profile, often writes nice messages and compliments, even though he has no intention of meeting that person ... almost always blanked. Then they try to contact us on our couple profile .... manners cost nothing. I do try to reply to everything, but by now I think I may have enough people blocked to have gotten rid of those who don't float my boat ... | |||
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"Are we just unlucky, or expecting too much? We usually receive roughly 2 to 3 messages a day some days higher some days none. The problem we have is they are nearly always one liners such as "fancy a meet tonight" or "I'm a genuine guy wanna chat" I can honestly say we have maybe received 5 or 6 messages on here that we consider to be "good". I know what constitutes a good message is personal opinion but all we're looking for is someone who has actually read our profile and not just sent a copy and paste message that they sent to everyone. Are we being too picky or is this what we should expect? -K" It's a tricky one and each individual profile is going to have their own experience depending on how you've configured your profile and indeed how you've written your profile. And even this isn't foolproof but more about minimising the type of contact you want. To be honest, like the initial responder stated, we have had some good meets off minimal fab conversation or they have portrayed themselves as well as we may have liked. But have to appreciate that not everyone is a Wordsworth. It's then making a call, which can be interesting photos, credible verifications that demonstrate their personality far better in person, or sometimes pure gut feeling. You're profile is clear, which is good but note you have it open to the masses and that will inevitably result in a mixture of responses. Some I sympathise with as some people lose faith and then "go fishing" and play the numbers game. Others just pure can't be bothered and then even some who write well but will still not get any response. Ultimately it is simply down to whether they appeal to you and maybe no levels of words will matter. As a single male on here, I did have a lot of success simply because I did make the effort of reading the profile, then responding with a personal message with effort, loaded with originality, creativity and respect to make it unique and appealing to the readers. But to answer your question, expect the multiple levels of communication you are experiencing and yes be picky. After all, it is about your needs ultimately and if you can make that happen with likeminded people with mutual respect, then you're on to a winner. If you're not having much luck, then I would say review your options, reconfigure & rewrite your fab profile and maybe occasionally let your hair down, remove the lead and try something a little bit different from the norm (within near boundaries and safe of course without entirely compromising your reasons for entering the swinging lifestyle). Good luck and I'm sure we'll cross paths at xtasia one day xx | |||
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"There has been a lot of complaints about one liners and cut and paste messages, but from reading through this thread it seems the consensus is people either get so many messages they delete most. Or they look at the profile and base any response in that. So it's probably not worth finely crafting an opening message after all " It all goes hand in hand. And process of elimination is that a good individual message, complemented by a good profile write up, coupled with credible verifications is going to stand you in a better position than the opposite. We certainly look for effort, and if they are also physically appealing to us, then we're most likely to take things further. Nevertheless, we inevitably do our best to respond to every message we receive, even on ridiculous days where it could be 50 plus! | |||
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"There has been a lot of complaints about one liners and cut and paste messages, but from reading through this thread it seems the consensus is people either get so many messages they delete most. Or they look at the profile and base any response in that. So it's probably not worth finely crafting an opening message after all " My take on that is that if you've already made a reasonable effort with the profile, then an equal amount of effort crafting and tailoring the message will confirm any favourable impressions, and give you a much better chance of a reply.. | |||
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"There has been a lot of complaints about one liners and cut and paste messages, but from reading through this thread it seems the consensus is people either get so many messages they delete most. Or they look at the profile and base any response in that. So it's probably not worth finely crafting an opening message after all " The ones that whine about it the most are usually the ones that won't use mail filters because they love the ego boost they get from their bulging inbox. They are the real time wasters. On here just to take the piss out of other people while making themselves feel superior. They won't ever send a message to other people first because they feel it's beneath them. So people should really be thankful that those types don't reply as they aren't worth meeting. | |||
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"There is a lot of effort expended on each side. Guys have to send a lot of messages (well if they are ugly like me) and girls/couples have to sift through a large amount of messages. " I don't think looks are the be all. Important of course to many. But of course effort is required from both sides. If it's one sided, then for us, it's not going to work. We ultimately meet couples and single fems. We look for respect from the couple and single fem towards Lizzie, towards Jordan and, if a couple, between each other. That's a starting foundation for us to know if it's going to work or not. Then if effort is not distributed from all parties, then we have to make a call. | |||
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"Are we just unlucky, or expecting too much? We usually receive roughly 2 to 3 messages a day some days higher some days none. The problem we have is they are nearly always one liners such as "fancy a meet tonight" or "I'm a genuine guy wanna chat" I can honestly say we have maybe received 5 or 6 messages on here that we consider to be "good". I know what constitutes a good message is personal opinion but all we're looking for is someone who has actually read our profile and not just sent a copy and paste message that they sent to everyone. Are we being too picky or is this what we should expect? -K" No comment | |||
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"The ones that whine about it the most are usually the ones that won't use mail filters because they love the ego boost they get from their bulging inbox. They are the real time wasters. On here just to take the piss out of other people while making themselves feel superior. They won't ever send a message to other people first because they feel it's beneath them. So people should really be thankful that those types don't reply as they aren't worth meeting. " You're damn right. | |||
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"I had a good one the other day, simply said: "Breed me" Which has brevity, I suppose Points for originality though Oh no, there was one in actual sentences from a guy who wanted me to drop everything, bring a funnel, a load of cum I saved in the freezer (like WTF?) and then, well... I'll leave the rest to your imagination. THAT was original." Can't believe people put that much effort into getting their rocks off | |||
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"God try and be a single female! The one I had the other day was along the lines of: Want to be fucked tonight That was it, no ? no nothing, then tried to back pedal after pointing out the errors of their ways, they don't seem to grasp that you can never make a 2nd good impression after a bad one! " very true, and sadly not as obvious to people as it should be! | |||
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"We'd appreciate anything other than 'nice tits, wanna fuck?'" Picky bastards | |||
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"it's very very rare we send out messages as we have been rejected soooo many times in the past" A shame to hear that but hopefully if you filter the ones you do receive you'll get a fair few worth having! | |||
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"It's hard trying to get messages seen let alone read lol But normally after reading a profile I write alittle about me then something I relate to in There pro. And it does get hard trying to remember who hasn't seen messages and have replied a polite no lol" There is a "private notes" section you can add that against each profile for your own sanity and not to accidentally contact a profile that's already declined. | |||
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"It's hard trying to get messages seen let alone read lol But normally after reading a profile I write alittle about me then something I relate to in There pro. And it does get hard trying to remember who hasn't seen messages and have replied a polite no lol There is a "private notes" section you can add that against each profile for your own sanity and not to accidentally contact a profile that's already declined. " Cheers will look up now | |||
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"private notes is one of the add-ons for membership, well worth it " I use those now. very handy | |||
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