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"Seems rather a high price to me, hosts not paying, 4 couples and 8 singles paying £25 = £300 for the hosts which seems more like a profit making venture and therefore on principal I would not attend. I have hosted a few parties in the past, I supply a huge "more than you can eat" buffet, all alcohol and have always had lots left at the end, I also supply accommodation overnight, mints, condoms and even lighters and ciggerettes - I charge - 1 hug from each woman and a handshake from the guys but I get that whenever I meet a friends. ![]() You sir, are a true gentlemen To the OP, if it was a forum member i'd report them and dont attend on principal | |||
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"I'm sure this subject has been discussed numerous times but as I'm still fairly new to all this I have not seen it. I was invited, out of the blue last week, to attend a party. The lady inviting me was the host, the venue was not far from me and, as I had nothing planned, I sent a reply saying I would be there in an hour and asking how many other people were attending. I got a reply saying 'hopefully' 6 couples and 8 other single males. I was having a shave and getting ready when I received another message telling me that it was £25 to attend and to bring my own drinks! I dont drink so that wasn't an issue, what did annoy me was getting an unsolicited invitation to spend £25 at a party where there may or may not be 6 couples and 8 other single males AND supply my own drinks....exactly what would I be paying £25 for??? Is this normal? I have only been to one party and didnt pay there and food was provided by a really lovely couple who hosted it....Conrad :O)" Then don't go....... | |||
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"It doesnt sound right to me at all. If a couple were hosting a party then they should consider the cost and the trouble it takes to organise etc. Most people will bring some alcohol etc. Swinging should be about fun and not about a quick money making venture ![]() As long as there are guys willing to pay to "join in" there will be people who will try to take advantage. I say "guys" because it seems they are the ones who are targeted. ![]() | |||
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"It's ok to say "just don't go" some people seem to think it is wrong do discuss many topics in the forums, would those people like to do us all a list of what is acceptable discussions and what isn't ? The forums are for discussion, some people will make a choice, go to a party or not go, use a condom or not use one, pay half the cost or not pay, discussing it afterwards will help others make thier descisions, it will help newbies know if "this is the norm" in the swinging lifestyle. You have the choice to read and comment or move on to a a subject which interests you ![]() I did read and comment....your choice to make your replies as long as you like, my choice to make them as short as I like. | |||
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"It's ok to say "just don't go" some people seem to think it is wrong do discuss many topics in the forums, would those people like to do us all a list of what is acceptable discussions and what isn't ? The forums are for discussion, some people will make a choice, go to a party or not go, use a condom or not use one, pay half the cost or not pay, discussing it afterwards will help others make thier descisions, it will help newbies know if "this is the norm" in the swinging lifestyle. You have the choice to read and comment or move on to a a subject which interests you ![]() I wasn't particularly commenting on what must have been your reply (I never look at who writes in here only at what they write) I was generalising about the many comments made in recent threads which seem to be along the lines of "if you don't like it don't do it but don't talk about it" | |||
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"My point is that no-one is forced to attend parties/gangbangs or whatever the event is, if paying a share of a hotel room or share of party expenses is not your idea of fairness then just decline the invite...... It's not compulsory to pay, you just have to say nothing and block....or reply with a 'Thanks but not for me'. Anyone would think these guys are being dragged along and fleeced of their wallets against their will." but what I think this and the other big thread talks about is a question that does come up alot "when does 'covering expenses' actually become 'profiteering'?" for me that is profiteering...... and was deliberatly targeted... so are we now saying that this is okay in the scene now? because then that is a disturbing suggestion for me... | |||
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"It's ok to say "just don't go" some people seem to think it is wrong do discuss many topics in the forums, would those people like to do us all a list of what is acceptable discussions and what isn't ? The forums are for discussion, some people will make a choice, go to a party or not go, use a condom or not use one, pay half the cost or not pay, discussing it afterwards will help others make thier descisions, it will help newbies know if "this is the norm" in the swinging lifestyle. You have the choice to read and comment or move on to a a subject which interests you ![]() Spot on, we censor people too much on here by discouraging conversation. | |||
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"My point is that no-one is forced to attend parties/gangbangs or whatever the event is, if paying a share of a hotel room or share of party expenses is not your idea of fairness then just decline the invite...... It's not compulsory to pay, you just have to say nothing and block....or reply with a 'Thanks but not for me'. Anyone would think these guys are being dragged along and fleeced of their wallets against their will. but what I think this and the other big thread talks about is a question that does come up alot "when does 'covering expenses' actually become 'profiteering'?" for me that is profiteering...... and was deliberatly targeted... so are we now saying that this is okay in the scene now? because then that is a disturbing suggestion for me... " Your right Fabio, there seems to be a disturbing increase in this type of profiteering activity, surely it's not a development most of us want to see become more of a fixture in this scene? If it isn't we need to highlight it, discuss it and condemn it as not swinging. | |||
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"I hope that by discussing it at length and showing newbies that it is not the "accepted norm" to be asked extorionate amounts people will be better prepared, those wishing to exploit anyone who wants to attend a party or gangbang or bukake will think twice about ripping people off openly in mails and on the events pages. If we stop just one from using the site for profit it's worth a thread, as someone said, the practice is getting more prevalent and the more done to stop it the better. And I am talking about rip off's not reasonable expenses" Worryingly it seems to be quite a frequent occurance more so over the last month or so and it does need stopping. But will it get stopped?????? Unfortunatly we all know the answer is no while people who will pay keep paying. Nobody is saying never pay at a party, we have been to a few where NO charges are made whatsoever but somebody decides to send a hat or plantpot round for a whip round totally voluntarily to thank the hosts. Would we ever pay to attend, personaly we wouldnt. | |||
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" Easy pickings for some here and its not right .. " Unfortunatly and it doesnt make it right but it's only easy pickings because people are daft enough to pay to attend. Look at it another way if a theatre was selling tickets for a show for say £100 each and the ticket office up town was selling exactly the same tickets same show same everything for £5, whos at fault for paying £100 a ticket?????????? | |||
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"We were recently invited as a couple to a gang bang. Was free for couples but 40 quid for the single guys. We politely declined but wonder if anybody would have accepted. ![]() What do you think?????? | |||
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"Not a chance! The word 'prostitution' comes to mind," To a point yes, but carrying that argument on that is like saying clubs are brothels. Not really right. If you were to wine and dine a lady you met and end up getting lucky is that prostitution????????? | |||
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"Seems rather a high price to me, hosts not paying, 4 couples and 8 singles paying £25 = £300 for the hosts which seems more like a profit making venture and therefore on principal I would not attend. I have hosted a few parties in the past, I supply a huge "more than you can eat" buffet, all alcohol and have always had lots left at the end, I also supply accommodation overnight, mints, condoms and even lighters and ciggerettes - I charge - 1 hug from each woman and a handshake from the guys but I get that whenever I meet a friends. ![]() love yas xxx | |||
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"It's ok to say "just don't go" some people seem to think it is wrong do discuss many topics in the forums, would those people like to do us all a list of what is acceptable discussions and what isn't ? The forums are for discussion, some people will make a choice, go to a party or not go, use a condom or not use one, pay half the cost or not pay, discussing it afterwards will help others make thier descisions, it will help newbies know if "this is the norm" in the swinging lifestyle. You have the choice to read and comment or move on to a a subject which interests you ![]() good for you and we should talk about it. in this case it was particularly sneaky as they obviously got the OP to say yes so he is phscyed up for the party only to received the proposed "cost" later. There is another problem with this kind of party. | |||
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"Did I go? Not a chance! I may be new at this but I'm not stupid!!! I agree if someone is laying out money to put on an event or party, its only fair to expect some assistance with the costs. Having said that, I have hosted parties in the past, straight parties, and I have supplied a good spread and some booze even though I don't drink. I have NEVER asked anyone to pay to come to my parties so I'm assuming these payments are something peculiar to the swinging scene?" Was invited to a "party" once where couples were asked for £20 and single guys £40 (girl were free.. ofcourse). When I asked "And I'm guessing the cost goes towards food - as we all know single guys eat twice the amount of a couple combined while single girls eat sod all" I was promptly blocked. | |||
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"Not a chance! The word 'prostitution' comes to mind, To a point yes, but carrying that argument on that is like saying clubs are brothels. Not really right. If you were to wine and dine a lady you met and end up getting lucky is that prostitution?????????" As a single lady, that is precisely why i choose to pay my own way, to prevent the possibility of just that. I am then not indebted to anyone and therefore on an equal footing. | |||
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" Personally I haven't been to a party where entry fees are charged but I have attended private parties as part of a party circuit where an annual membership fee is in practice. " Is an annual membership not the same thing but worded differently. You are still paying to be able to attend the parties but in a different way. | |||
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" Personally I haven't been to a party where entry fees are charged but I have attended private parties as part of a party circuit where an annual membership fee is in practice. Is an annual membership not the same thing but worded differently. You are still paying to be able to attend the parties but in a different way." If you were to attend one of the parties and see the venues you would understand why the membership covers these expenses. Money well spent if you find the right party circuit. | |||
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" Personally I haven't been to a party where entry fees are charged but I have attended private parties as part of a party circuit where an annual membership fee is in practice. Is an annual membership not the same thing but worded differently. You are still paying to be able to attend the parties but in a different way. If you were to attend one of the parties and see the venues you would understand why the membership covers these expenses. Money well spent if you find the right party circuit." Probably but you are still in effect paying an entrance fee for admission to a party. | |||
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" Personally I haven't been to a party where entry fees are charged but I have attended private parties as part of a party circuit where an annual membership fee is in practice. Is an annual membership not the same thing but worded differently. You are still paying to be able to attend the parties but in a different way. If you were to attend one of the parties and see the venues you would understand why the membership covers these expenses. Money well spent if you find the right party circuit. Probably but you are still in effect paying an entrance fee for admission to a party." The party circuit in question does not accept requests to attend, they operate by directly approaching individuals and asking them if they would be interested in joining the circle. They are one of three or four that operate this way, mainly in the London area. They do not use swingers sites to invite prospective new members, they instead approach people in clubs and at parties. Mainly in Fetish clubs as it happens. Members of the circle are more than happy to pay an annual membership as the venues and facilities reflect the money it costs. Just as with clubs like Chams, Xstasia etc. nothing on a well run scale can be run for nothing. | |||
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" Personally I haven't been to a party where entry fees are charged but I have attended private parties as part of a party circuit where an annual membership fee is in practice. Is an annual membership not the same thing but worded differently. You are still paying to be able to attend the parties but in a different way. If you were to attend one of the parties and see the venues you would understand why the membership covers these expenses. Money well spent if you find the right party circuit. Probably but you are still in effect paying an entrance fee for admission to a party." As you are with ALL clubs | |||
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"Not a chance! The word 'prostitution' comes to mind, To a point yes, but carrying that argument on that is like saying clubs are brothels. Not really right. If you were to wine and dine a lady you met and end up getting lucky is that prostitution????????? As a single lady, that is precisely why i choose to pay my own way, to prevent the possibility of just that. I am then not indebted to anyone and therefore on an equal footing." . Same here re: paying my own way, as I do not want to take advantage of other people. ![]() | |||
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"alot of people say they will never pay for sex but isnt going halfs or paying for a hotel room paying for sex coz that room isnt free??? " No, that's paying for a room. If you drive to a meet, the lady isn't automatically a prostitute! I think you should differentiate between your costs and other people's revenue. | |||
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"I'm pretty sure this came up a few weeks back along the lines of sharing hotel costs. It seemed that if a couple has shall we say prebooked a room by their on volition and is asking people to join them then there should not be any further mention of monies from partners they choose to meet. If they advertise that they would like to book a hotel and share costs then the room cost should be known and what share is expected ie £30 room couple pay £20 guest pays £10, however if they are meeting more than one person over the space of the evening ie 1or 2 guys every hour from shall we say 7 till midnight well you do the math and that's making a profit. If they expect cash at home then that's a business and should be treated as one. Tax, fire ins health and safety etc etc. So when someone says we're having a party bring a bottle and your own condoms and oh by the way it will cost you £25! then make your own choice and I know what my answer would be...join a club where you will have decent facilities and make far more friends where undoubtably you will stand a better chance of being invited to REAL parties! Well that's my thought.... " and I for one think you are right in your thinking. | |||
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