FabSwingers.com forum: bareback

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

just a quick question and before i get told off i know it has been done many times before, and i fully understand that it is personal choice. But why do people who swing bareback do so ?

Dont get me wrong i much prefer it with my partner but could not do it with a meet, i understand that you can catch stds from oral but the risk of catching something incurable or life threatening is low whereas with bareback its quite possible. do people worry that they could catch something that could possibly kill them ?

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

don't worry... not being told off... but tends to be one of those "emotive" subjects that tends to kick off every so often...

good luck.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There’s more chance of me killing myself with a ciggie than giving some random bloke a blowjob, and I still choose to smoke, everything in life has a risk factor, would question anyone who worries about it far too much why they’re actually here, probably more chance being killed on the way to meet someone.

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By *aravancoupleMan
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love

Don't be daft don't be silly put a condom on your willy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont risk dieing while your young, poke it with a stick and not your tongue

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

" would question anyone who worries about it far too much why they’re actually here"

Why come out with that statement?

I've been swinging 10 years and worry about those that swing bareback. Have we played with them in error etc.....

Does that mean I shouldn't be swinging or on here?

No, of course it doesn't.

I suspect you are barebackers as anyone who worries about their health would not have posted such a stupid statement.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i'm often wondering about this, especially at gangbangs. there's such an enormous exchange of sexual contact surely the risk is increased. but not in a million years would i go bareback at a meet. not in this day and age.

and it doesn't have to be a life threatening infection to fuck things up. herpes and chlamydia are pretty fucking shit i hear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

but it feels way better without a condom.

BALLS!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

why would you question why we are here ? comments made with as little thought and as much arrogance as that make people wonder why they are here....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" would question anyone who worries about it far too much why they’re actually here

Why come out with that statement?

I've been swinging 10 years and worry about those that swing bareback. Have we played with them in error etc.....

Does that mean I shouldn't be swinging or on here?

No, of course it doesn't.

I suspect you are barebackers as anyone who worries about their health would not have posted such a stupid statement."

What a stupid arrogant post this is.

So someone who does bareback is less bothered about there health than someone who doesnt.??? Bit of a bold statement.

We prefer bareback play. its not the be all and end all of swinging forus. we get checked very regular and look after ourselves. and so far. touch wood we have never had a problem.

Your attitude and naivity and down right un knowledgble reply shows you as someone who thinks they are above someone if they bareback.

Considering the lifestyle we are all in as swingers there are some real narrowminded arrogant fuckers about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" would question anyone who worries about it far too much why they’re actually here

Why come out with that statement?

I've been swinging 10 years and worry about those that swing bareback. Have we played with them in error etc.....

Does that mean I shouldn't be swinging or on here?

No, of course it doesn't.

I suspect you are barebackers as anyone who worries about their health would not have posted such a stupid statement."

Jesus maddie, I normally enjoy your posts, and banter but that’s one huge assumption you’re happy throwing around

If people overly worry, it’s best just not to do them, it’s that bloody simple, in fact its common sense really.

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

" would question anyone who worries about it far too much why they’re actually here

Why come out with that statement?

I've been swinging 10 years and worry about those that swing bareback. Have we played with them in error etc.....

Does that mean I shouldn't be swinging or on here?

No, of course it doesn't.

I suspect you are barebackers as anyone who worries about their health would not have posted such a stupid statement.

Jesus maddie, I normally enjoy your posts, and banter but that’s one huge assumption you’re happy throwing around

If people overly worry, it’s best just not to do them, it’s that bloody simple, in fact its common sense really.

I am not the only one who posted about the statement.

As for the person that thinks I'm naive...... live your life as a swinger for nearly 10 years, see the damage it can do ( and no, I never forget the good and most of it is good)and then come back and say that those of us that worry, shouldn't be on here.

I spoke the truth as I see it.

I WON'T be questioned as to why I swing when I worry about my health.

You may see it as a huge assumption that I stated that the person who made the post was a barebacker......... but I bet I'm right.

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

Your attitude and naivity and down right un knowledgble reply shows you as someone who thinks they are above someone if they bareback.

Considering the lifestyle we are all in as swingers there are some real narrowminded arrogant fuckers about."

That's beyond the pale. I gave my point, as I see it.

Don't flame me personally and you can think what you like. I am far from narrowminded and arrogant, as those that actually know me will atest.

However, after that personal dig..........

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

without sounding arrogant maybe it is a age thing as hiv as we now know it first came to light in 1980 so all our life we have been told about safe sex and the rise in hiv infections. whereas people who are slightly older would not have grow up with this as a consideration in thier younger life.

I have many large tattoos and a question i was once asked when talking about safe sex with a health professional who was a friend was "if when you went into the tattooist and he said i have not changed the needles since the last person would you still have had it done ?

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"why would you question why we are here ? comments made with as little thought and as much arrogance as that make people wonder why they are here...."

Well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We try to take care of ourselves and try to ensure we are safe at all times, but, once we've done all we can be reasonably expected to do, we then want put all our attention into enjoying the sexy fun.

If we meet someone in a club and decide to play with them, we don't interrogate them about how they've played in the past. We play safe, but there is still a risk.

We agree to an extent with Dogmeisters, that if you are paranoid about sexual safety, how can you enjoy what your doing.

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"We try to take care of ourselves and try to ensure we are safe at all times, but, once we've done all we can be reasonably expected to do, we then want put all our attention into enjoying the sexy fun.

If we meet someone in a club and decide to play with them, we don't interrogate them about how they've played in the past. We play safe, but there is still a risk.

We agree to an extent with Dogmeisters, that if you are paranoid about sexual safety, how can you enjoy what your doing. "

I don't think the OP or ourselves are paranoid. There's a bloody big difference between being careful and taking every precaution and worry yourselves silly about it.

And I don't see anyone on here, who is posting on this thread or the billion others about barebacking, could ever be classed as paranoid...... just a little more careful with their health.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Russian roulette... touching wood is great, but why do it? Play safe, be safe and be happy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's a bloody big difference between being careful and taking every precaution and worry yourselves silly about it."

Funny that Maddie, when i questioned why people are here if they worry far too much it was greeted with "what a stupid statement" and accusations of being barebackers

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/10/10 21:38:01]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" would question anyone who worries about it far too much why they’re actually here

Why come out with that statement?

I've been swinging 10 years and worry about those that swing bareback. Have we played with them in error etc.....

Does that mean I shouldn't be swinging or on here?

No, of course it doesn't.

I suspect you are barebackers as anyone who worries about their health would not have posted such a stupid statement.

What a stupid arrogant post this is.

So someone who does bareback is less bothered about there health than someone who doesnt.??? Bit of a bold statement.

We prefer bareback play. its not the be all and end all of swinging forus. we get checked very regular and look after ourselves. and so far. touch wood we have never had a problem.

Your attitude and naivity and down right un knowledgble reply shows you as someone who thinks they are above someone if they bareback.

Considering the lifestyle we are all in as swingers there are some real narrowminded arrogant fuckers about."

For the record,we would never consider bareback with anyone on a meet.

However this is not a post having a go because you do.

What we'd like to know is when you go to have your check-and presumably HIV is your main worry-do you sit chewing your fingers to the bone while you await the results?

You said "touch wood" in your post,that implies that you do worry about the fact that you could have contracted some potentially fatal disease through unprotected sex.

Are those brief moments of pleasure really worth putting yourself through all that stress,worry and danger for?

Or is the thrill of bareback sex with strangers all about the Russian roulette experience?

XXXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" would question anyone who worries about it far too much why they’re actually here

Why come out with that statement?

I've been swinging 10 years and worry about those that swing bareback. Have we played with them in error etc.....

Does that mean I shouldn't be swinging or on here?

No, of course it doesn't.

I suspect you are barebackers as anyone who worries about their health would not have posted such a stupid statement.

What a stupid arrogant post this is.

So someone who does bareback is less bothered about there health than someone who doesnt.??? Bit of a bold statement.

We prefer bareback play. its not the be all and end all of swinging forus. we get checked very regular and look after ourselves. and so far. touch wood we have never had a problem.

Your attitude and naivity and down right un knowledgble reply shows you as someone who thinks they are above someone if they bareback.

Considering the lifestyle we are all in as swingers there are some real narrowminded arrogant fuckers about.

For the record,we would never consider bareback with anyone on a meet.

However this is not a post having a go because you do.

What we'd like to know is when you go to have your check-and presumably HIV is your main worry-do you sit chewing your fingers to the bone while you await the results?

You said "touch wood" in your post,that implies that you do worry about the fact that you could have contracted some potentially fatal disease through unprotected sex.

Are those brief moments of pleasure really worth putting yourself through all that stress,worry and danger for?

Or is the thrill of bareback sex with strangers all about the Russian roulette experience?

XXXX"

So your implying that if we wore condoms on every meet we wouldnt have the little bit of worry awaiting our results. If you imply that then you are kidding no one but yourself.

No matter how much protection you do or dont use there is always an element of worry whilst waiting.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Not wearing a condom is not taking every precaution to protect yourself.

Its peoples choice how they swing but We read about the hiv increase around the world especially in african continents and EDC's and the line we heare is that it is due to poor education and the availability of condoms....so what is our excuse in the developed world. I also read about people being tested every 3 months but hiv and many other stds can still be passed on in the 3 months from infection to diagnosis.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Funnily enough there is a large increase in STI's within the 40-65 year age group. Many people within this age group find themselves divorced and looking for new partners but I suspect with the increase of internet activity where sex can be so freely available, that this plays a large part in the increase of STI's.

Whilst there is risk with oral sex and not using a condom, and lets be honest, a lot of people do not wear condoms or use dental dams when indulging in oral sex, then there is the chance you could catch an STI, gonorrhea is quite popular via oral sex. HIV can sit undetected within a three month period in the blood so those barebackers really are playing russian roulette. How can you possibly carry on having sex with others when you will always be unaware of whether you have contracted HIV. You'd have to be at the GUM Clinic every week getting tested and I suspect you are not, and they would question the huge resources you are taking up within the NHS too!

Hepatitis is a biggie and if this is left untreated can lead to liver damage etc. Most STI's if left untreated will cause problems later, and lots of them go undetected in women, or women tend to get a stinging when going to the loo, which can sometimes be put down to cystitis, when it may be a symptom of something else.

There is always a risk but its considerably lessened with wearing a condom - having a guy inside you without a condom may feel great, certainly better for him, but would you really put someone's elses comfort above your own health - swinging is never worth it. You just have to protect yourself as much as you can and get tested regularly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well said Iconic1 - totally agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always use condoms.

But on these forums raise more questions than answers in so much as by observation there are a lot more barebackers swinging than represented here.

If truth be known we must all play with barebackers even if we don't do bareback ourselves.

With the animosity shown here its no wonder that all but the bravest can't discuss their preferences openly.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

agree fully with iconic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" would question anyone who worries about it far too much why they’re actually here

Why come out with that statement?

I've been swinging 10 years and worry about those that swing bareback. Have we played with them in error etc.....

Does that mean I shouldn't be swinging or on here?

No, of course it doesn't.

I suspect you are barebackers as anyone who worries about their health would not have posted such a stupid statement.

What a stupid arrogant post this is.

So someone who does bareback is less bothered about there health than someone who doesnt.??? Bit of a bold statement.

We prefer bareback play. its not the be all and end all of swinging forus. we get checked very regular and look after ourselves. and so far. touch wood we have never had a problem.

Your attitude and naivity and down right un knowledgble reply shows you as someone who thinks they are above someone if they bareback.

Considering the lifestyle we are all in as swingers there are some real narrowminded arrogant fuckers about.

For the record,we would never consider bareback with anyone on a meet.

However this is not a post having a go because you do.

What we'd like to know is when you go to have your check-and presumably HIV is your main worry-do you sit chewing your fingers to the bone while you await the results?

You said "touch wood" in your post,that implies that you do worry about the fact that you could have contracted some potentially fatal disease through unprotected sex.

Are those brief moments of pleasure really worth putting yourself through all that stress,worry and danger for?

Or is the thrill of bareback sex with strangers all about the Russian roulette experience?

XXXX

So your implying that if we wore condoms on every meet we wouldnt have the little bit of worry awaiting our results. If you imply that then you are kidding no one but yourself.

No matter how much protection you do or dont use there is always an element of worry whilst waiting.

Of course there is worry but surely its multiplied 10 fold if your unprotected.

And thats what we were asking,as the difference in physical sensation is little if any,is the potential danger where the thrill lies?

Much the same as an extreme sport,is it the thrill of the risk?

XXXX

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

Iconic... Spot on! xxxx

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By *ue care and attentionWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

There are certain well known couples on this site who play bareback and I for one will not meet any guy who has played with them and I tell them why.

Low and behold I then get grief from said couple for making up lies about them and scaring their friends? How can I do that when they state clearly on their profile she will only do bareback or move on!

It's my choice who I care to play with and I have as much a right to say why I won't play with someone as the said couple have to play bareback.

I am from the generation that grew up without the need for condoms when pregnancy was the main worry. That said, I would now never play bareback as the risks have changed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Barebackers can fuck with their own lives but they are not going to fuck with mine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if you do not go barebacking then there would be little need to go and have regular checkups

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

you would not go to the doctors for a jap and take a needle from the street and say "use this" but the risks are prety much the same....probably less as the hiv virus dies outside the body in mins but it seems ok take the risk in the name of fun...

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

everything in life has a degree of risk....

whether that be crossing a road,

or going out in a storm,

or riding a bike

or even god forbid having sex...

but what we do is manage the risks the best way possible... and if condoms help reduce the risks then all you can do is weigh up all the information you have to hand

nothing is going to be 100% safe.... but all you can do is protect yourself the best way possible.... if you wanted 100% safe you'd abstain, and where is the fun in that!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"if you do not go barebacking then there would be little need to go and have regular checkups"

What person in their right mind would think wearing a condom makes them invincible, getting regular check ups is at the top of the list of must do's regardless of how they choose to play

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love bareback but I have only ever done it with steady girlfriends while Ive been in a relationship. The risk of STI and unwanted pregnancy is simply too high. I suppose it would be more acceptable if a small group of close friends who knew each other really well, and only played regularly with each other. However, such close knit sex circles are rare, so I would always advise to play safe..!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

i agree regular check ups are a must its just wearing a condom reduces the risk greatly of bad news when you do go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think a lot of people are quite blase when it comes down to infections. They assume that the doctor can cure it all, that they dont have to take responsiblity for their health, as they can just go and get antibiotics etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i dont do bareback myself but its up to the individuals if they want to, its a free country and we all able to make our own minds up xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thing is with hiv etc...

It can sit in your system for ages before it shows up in bloodtests.

How many people could you possibly infect while waiting to find out the grim news ?

For my own safety and protection, condoms all the time.

What others do,,, sometimes does affect others unfortunately

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By *cite6662002Couple
over a year ago

glos

a good freinds wife was sleeping around

and going to swing clubs

and gave him STDs he had no symptoms just one ball aching a bit

but was told he must have had it about

6 to 9 months and now may have long-term damage

so how meny men do you think jumped at the chance for bareback ???? with her

(a lot i bet)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"if you do not go barebacking then there would be little need to go and have regular checkups"

Personally I find this kind of naivety scarier than those that bareback!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i personally never get why so many people spend so much time pondering on what others are do

its not that i dont care about other people

but....

to me you loook after yourself and so long as you do that thats all that matters, people know the risks of not using condoms and thats their buisness not mine

i would never question anyone elses choices

just live and let live and eccept we all make different decisions in life and what other choose to do that you dont is their buisness not yours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i dont do bareback myself but its up to the individuals if they want to, its a free country and we all able to make our own minds up xx

Free country anywhere but on Fab!

I'm surprised some people get to meet as they seem to spend their time going through profiles criticising how people play!

The thought of dogging, gang bangs, going to clubs and shagging everything that moves makes my skin crawl. If someone contacts me and they have those activities listed etc then I block them: they're not for me.

However it would never cross my mind starting threads questioning how others conduct their business.

It really isn't hard to avoid those you don't want to play with you know!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always play safe....but each to their own we say, why pick on people who play Bare...its the choice they have made and is upto them,simple as!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I'm surprised some people get to meet as they seem to spend their time going through profiles criticising how people play!

However it would never cross my mind starting threads questioning how others conduct their business.

Totally agree Sassy

however... I wouldn't then have posts to read when that bloody boring Countryfile is on between the double Emmerdales..

viva posters who criticise others..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/10/10 08:46:33]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Funnily enough there is a large increase in STI's within the 40-65 year age group. Many people within this age group find themselves divorced and looking for new partners but I suspect with the increase of internet activity where sex can be so freely available, that this plays a large part in the increase of STI's.

Very well said.Barebacking with strangers is just reckless.No matter how you want to justify it.Then as I always say to each his own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely it is down to the combatents who are in the group if bareback or not.

We are all adults we all set our preferences ie female,male, m+f, ff or mm.

Age is set, likes, dislikes, its a matter of choice.

If you dont like something you dont do it.. is that not the deciding factor... irrelevant of other peoples choices it is THEIR choice.

DONT LIKE DONT DO. Move on either way.

By the way i have done both Bareback and safe. WAS MY CHOICE.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some just dont care and think it will never be them who get STDS thay must know how common some are like chlamydia and Genital warts .. Animal passion just take over and thay may think after when feeling a buring or see little lumps coming up and go to docs or gum but its to late ,, can be sorted easy but loads have this a never know .... thats why people who swing even condoms should go 3 or 4 times a year ,,just to keep them- selfs and others safe.

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By *mcouple1Couple
over a year ago

nr warrington

On the news yesterday x 7 major porn studios have stopped production after 1 actor was diagnosed with HIV. Testing has started and until all clear is given no filming will be done.

I would imagine actors who work in this industry are the most tested individuals out there because of the non use of condoms in filming.

Then 1 of them contracts HIV and how many will have a life changing illness because of that 1 individual?

Each to there own i know because i smoke and everyone knows it causes cancer. But it only gives cancer to me and i can,t spread cancer to anyone else.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

People understand the risk of smoking... I certainly do... but like many smokers you just don't think it's gonna happen to you.... or just don't think about it everytime I light up.

I imagine barebackers to be the same. I recently asked one guy why he did it. He replied "what are the odds of it happening to me?" and he believed it was unlikely.

People will have heard the reports on the telly that people in their 40's and 50's have seen massive increases in STI's, people in their early 20's it's believed to be something like 1 in 6 (even if it is a NSU), the fastest rising HIV positive group in the UK is hetro adults...... I guess many just believe it won't happen to them.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Just to add....

If someone thinks "oh it won't happen to me" or "the chances of me getting something are about the same as winning the lottery"

Why would they believe they need to go and be checked out regularly. After all, if you don't think it's going to happen to you, why would you go through checking it hasn't.

That's like not buying a lottery ticket because you think it's a waste of time and then going down the newsagents and asking them to print out the winning numbers so you can check that you lost.

GENERALLY speaking... if someone isn't conscientious enough to look after their own/their partner's/their playmates safety in the bedroom.. I find it hard to believe they'll behave responsibly after the event.... especially if they believe nothing will have changed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For those who do bareback, say you have a swinging life of 10 years and you've gone bareback all that time - theres no doubt that you will contract an STI at some point - whether it be an easily treatable one or whether its the big guys, where treatment is life long.

Now ok you go and get tested regularly and fair play to you for that. But when you go regularly are you paying privately for this and paying privately for any medication you may need, or are you going to an NHS GUM Clinic and expecting them to foot the bill of your regularly clinic visits?

What if the Government pull some of the money from the Sexual Health service, and they limit STI testing to once every 2 years for people who are lower risk and always use condoms and plough the money into those who are regularly getting infections or on antiviral treatment for HIV. Should us mere mortals who try and do the best for ourselves in relation to our health suffer and give higher risk people access to the best treatment?

For all of us who work, we pay NI contributions, so that gives us the right to say how we feel the money should be spent. Antiviral drugs for HIV cost the NHS thousands of pounds each year. So does any STI testing. So for all of those who say each to their own, well its not really is it, its all our business and I'd like to think that for the majority of us who enjoy the sexual freedom of swinging, we are being as responsible as we can

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And just where do you stop with this NHS cost stuff. Ban footy because it causes knee problems etc etc..........the list would be a mile long.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

far as I am concerned it's up to the individual, but it aint my bag without a bag lol...

We all know the risks involved and if people still wanna go bareback then it's their funeral.

I have to say I have been tempted to meet people who bareback but in the end the thought of what the risk maybe far outweighs the fun element.

In this day and age you have to be a fool to bareback but it's your choice !!!

just my opinion !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For those who do bareback, say you have a swinging life of 10 years and you've gone bareback all that time - theres no doubt that you will contract an STI at some point - whether it be an easily treatable one or whether its the big guys, where treatment is life long.

We agree totally. We love swinging but we would not do bareback with anybody at anytime. No exceptions !!

Please be safe everybody !

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

IF they go... as I have already said, I just can't see why the majority of the "it won't happen to me" posse would go and get checked out on a frequent basis... beause they aren't worried about it. But anyway, those that do... why should they be any different to anyone else who goes for a check-up?

If anything, people who are conscientious go for more check-ups than those who are not.... so I don't really see what point you are making with that bit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anytime that you play with anyone whether it is as a swinger or even dating carries risk, as others have said Oral carries risk too as done any exchange of bodily fluids, yes we like to play safe ( im not going to lie that on one or two occasions in the past we have not ) however we certainly dont ask people we meet whether they have been checked or not, we have check ups but again I dont expect people to take our word for it, so best just enjoy what your doing and take as best precautions as you can but at the end of the day the only safe sex is no sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"if you do not go barebacking then there would be little need to go and have regular checkups"

We only play with condoms but get regular check-ups, we have unprotected oral sex and we kiss, your statement makes us think you would be unsafe to meet as you don't even know the risks of sex obviously believing it is only a risk in penatrative sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if your a barebacker there seems to be an objection to using the health service ?

Jesus Christ

We don't do bareback but we have regular checks

We smoke perhaps we should be banned from using the NHS to help us quit cos that costs non-smokers some of thier NI contributions

Maybe we don't want to quit and should just have smoking related treatments withdrawn from us and allowed to die of our self inflicted illness

Maybe we will become obese and should be banned from treatment for anything related to being overweight

What about if I break a leg playing football at the weekend, aaaah don't bother to set it it's my own fault for playing a dangerous sport

Stop treating children for breaks and sprains, they do it to themselves climbing trees

Zieg Heil, Zeig Heil, Zeig Heil

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You dont understand the point I was making JednSasha

There is not one person in this country who is in tip top physical health. We all have our vices and I think that everyone who needs medical health is entitled to have it. Yeah smokers are more at risk of developing cancer, yeah overweight people are more at risk of a heart attack, we know this but there is not one of us amongst us who is completely healthy, we smoke, drink, eat etc etc. But for people who have unprotected sex with strangers - and god knows how many, just because they dont want to stick a thin piece of latex across their dick - thats what annoys me. Sex is still good with a condom on.

It was the attitude of some posters who said "we go bareback but we have more checks at the GUM Clinic", just because someone goes regularly to a clinic, this doesnt keep them safe. Dont think the doctor can cure everything.

Just wearing a condom cuts down the risk of infection hugely. There are still risks of course, as many have mentioned - oral sex, and of course using fingers carries a risk too doesnt it, in an orgy situation, guy using his fingers on several women etc. The risk is there, but its considerably smaller than penetrative sex.

Polo said she thought people who went bareback probably didnt even go and get checked regularly - I think shes probably got a good point hasnt she, if someone is happy to take a risk with a stranger without giving thought to their own health or that of the person they are with, are they gonna sit for an hour so waiting in line at the GUM Clinic, probably not.

But my post was not about people not deserving treatment because they do something risky like smoking or drinking etc, of course they are entitled to get all the help they need if they develop problems and its a risk to that person alone, but to not do something so simple as to put a condom on and potentially put a huge amount of people at risk just so they get a little more friction on the head of their penis, is just stupid

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

there also seems to be a misunderstanding about risk and age.

whilst over 40, has a worrying large % increase in recent years its increasing from a low start point and far from being a high risque group.

The big high risque groups are still gays, injecting drug addicts and strangely with all the youth education 20 something year olds.

All the stats are freely available and easy to find using google.

In the stats there are a lot of numbers and some cans of worms to open for those that are interested, bareback wouldn't even be controversial in comparison.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"far as I am concerned it's up to the individual, but it aint my bag without a bag lol...

We all know the risks involved and if people still wanna go bareback then it's their funeral.

I have to say I have been tempted to meet people who bareback but in the end the thought of what the risk maybe far outweighs the fun element.

In this day and age you have to be a fool to bareback but it's your choice !!!

just my opinion !!

How many bags is that then x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We often wonder how many people,if they got a positive test result,would carry on playing and say nothing.

Carry on regardless sort of thing.

There are some selfish buggers about and it's certainly not outside the realms of probability.

It's a scary concept,even more so to those who indulge in unprotected sex.

XXXX

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By *stwoCouple
over a year ago

anywhere

why bring this up again?BORING.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have a right to question what someone puts on their profile if they don't play safe and prefer bareback then they are risking their lives and others, this is careless on an ages of HIV

Practice safe sex always that way you'll enjoy it.

And for those profiles I've seen can't use condoms due to allergic to latex, they do latex free ones these days!!! Trust me I'm a Doctor

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

actually we don't have a right to question what people put on thier profiles or thier dicks, we do have the right to discuss the subject in general.

Personal choice is personal choice, we don't play with couples who do bareback, even safe with us because a condom can break and the risk is higher than we wish to take for oral sex with barebackers, nor do we play with anyone on thier friends list or verification list, perhaps OTT but that's our choice.

I do however defend thier right to do what they want to do and am glad that they have shown on thier profile that for us at least they are to be avoided.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"actually we don't have a right to question what people put on thier profiles or thier dicks, we do have the right to discuss the subject in general.

I do however defend thier right to do what they want to do and am glad that they have shown on thier profile that for us at least they are to be avoided.

Saved me typing!

Spot on!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

mind you it is surprising that ppl who say they dont do bareback when you meet they try and try topersuade you to do without condoms, I then am very polite and say goodnight have fun and I take my leave bliddy very quickly. Didnt work in the GUM clinic without learning of the dangers of without so if I had my way i would make em wear wellingtons as well

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By *ortheastcoupleukCouple
over a year ago

easington were the sun dont shine

"We often wonder how many people,if they got a positive test result,would carry on playing and say nothing.

XXXX"
actually theres one on this site who had the balls to put it on there profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" would question anyone who worries about it far too much why they’re actually here

Why come out with that statement?

I've been swinging 10 years and worry about those that swing bareback. Have we played with them in error etc.....

Does that mean I shouldn't be swinging or on here?

No, of course it doesn't.

I suspect you are barebackers as anyone who worries about their health would not have posted such a stupid statement.

What a stupid arrogant post this is.

So someone who does bareback is less bothered about there health than someone who doesnt.??? Bit of a bold statement.

We prefer bareback play. its not the be all and end all of swinging forus. we get checked very regular and look after ourselves. and so far. touch wood we have never had a problem.

Your attitude and naivity and down right un knowledgble reply shows you as someone who thinks they are above someone if they bareback.

Considering the lifestyle we are all in as swingers there are some real narrowminded arrogant fuckers about."

indeed I am constantly amazed at this.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

When people say "well I have been alright so far".... I'm betting the 111,922 reported cases of HIV positive in the UK said something similar.

The scarey thing is, it is believed there are another 30,000 people who are HIV positive and know sod all about it.

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By *ortheastcoupleukCouple
over a year ago

easington were the sun dont shine

il add the user who put they were positive all there friends list disapeered

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldnt play with someone who was HIV positive, even with protection, just seems like a crazy risk to me.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"I wouldnt play with someone who was HIV positive, even with protection, just seems like a crazy risk to me."

Sorry...... but just how exactly would you know they were

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you read above, a person who admitted it (as you'd hope) was being mentioned, I am following on from that. So the

can be saved for another occasion.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"If you read above, a person who admitted it (as you'd hope) was being mentioned, I am following on from that. So the

can be saved for another occasion."

Nahhhh - as a stand alone statement it is still making me laugh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm going to pretend you just said boobies, lolololol

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"I'm going to pretend you just said boobies, lolololol"

'flange' is a much better word

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We often wonder how many people,if they got a positive test result,would carry on playing and say nothing.

XXXXactually theres one on this site who had the balls to put it on there profile"

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By *ortheastcoupleukCouple
over a year ago

easington were the sun dont shine

"We often wonder how many people,if they got a positive test result,would carry on playing and say nothing.

XXXXactually theres one on this site who had the balls to put it on there profile

"
yup thought that would raise a few eyebrows but take my hat off to the person/persons for not just deleteing profile or just not bother telling any one and carry on meeting that must of been one of the hardest things ever to come out with ,,,now the vertifyed ppl who had been met,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A previous poster wrote that gays and IV drug users were there biggest at risk group, this is only due to the percentage of infections in relation to the number of exposures. Ie: the chance of infection from a infected needle stick injury 50 in 10,000. But the fact is the highest group of new infections occurs in hetrosexuals. The reason i think is that Gay peopole and IV drug users and woken up to the risks and realised that they need to take steps to protect themselves by using condoms or clean needles. How long before the rest of us realise this ? It is peoples own choice if they use condoms or not but it was not a smokers choice if he wanted to blow his skoke over other people hence it was banned to smoke in puplic places so why is it not banned to spread std's around creating further problems for future generations ? We have two children both under 6 god help them when they get to our age and maybe decide to start swinging they will have to wear a lead contamination siut. But hey fuck it lets all wip off the condoms fuck like rabbits and spread disease like wildfire, cause we aint gonna be here to have to deal with it.

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By *ortheastcoupleukCouple
over a year ago

easington were the sun dont shine

to be honest from what i posted about a member/members and ie friends list or the now deleted lack of it makes ppl think more about the life style the "it will never happen to me " mentality think it has happened and could be a town near you .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just dont get why these threads keep coming up, last time we had a profile on here it was a constantly repeated thread!

People who bareback will bareback, people who wont.. wont! Thats it really!

If they have chosen to do so, telling them that you personally dont like it will not change anything.

People know the risks, its then their choice to react however they want to do so.

And you cant say you will never play with someone who has barebacked as Im pretty sure that there are a lot of people on here who have done it but keep it to themselves if they know you will only play with a condom on.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

People know the risks, "

Do they?

There's one post in this thread suggesting if you use a condom there's no need to go for check-ups.

It may go around in circles for you.... but don't be fooled into thinking everyone out their makes their mind up based on sound information.... they don't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's always a need to go for check ups I use protection always but you can still catch it from oral. The more sex we have with diff people the higher the risk. People who do bareback well that's there choice but they are idiots, spreading diseases around, well it's there funeral at the end of the day, that's why I always check out verifications they are there for a reason

Happy SAFE swinging

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

", would question anyone who worries about it far too much why they’re actually here"

I see that there are plenty who worry about their health.

Should they be swinging because they worry?

Of course they should

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

People know the risks,

Do they?

There's one post in this thread suggesting if you use a condom there's no need to go for check-ups.

It may go around in circles for you.... but don't be fooled into thinking everyone out their makes their mind up based on sound information.... they don't."

Aye aye.. people tend to forget that condoms aren't 100% effective. Foolish mortals! Muahahahaha!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"everything in life has a degree of risk....

whether that be crossing a road,

or going out in a storm,

or riding a bike

or even god forbid having sex...

but what we do is manage the risks the best way possible... and if condoms help reduce the risks then all you can do is weigh up all the information you have to hand

nothing is going to be 100% safe.... but all you can do is protect yourself the best way possible.... if you wanted 100% safe you'd abstain, and where is the fun in that!!!

I always wait for the little green man!

As for bareback, no chance, only with o/h, forget all this "it feels better bollocks" Id rather feel a condom than an itchy V

not that I have for the record!! but grew up knowing that unsafe sex was unprotected sex!! not just doing it outside lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People know the risks,

Do they?

There's one post in this thread suggesting if you use a condom there's no need to go for check-ups.

It may go around in circles for you.... but don't be fooled into thinking everyone out their makes their mind up based on sound information.... they don't.

Aye aye.. people tend to forget that condoms aren't 100% effective. Foolish mortals! Muahahahaha!"

Of course there not, but whats the alternative no sex, not even talking about swinging, if you had started a new relationship, would you not have sex as a condom isnt 100% safe?

BREAKING NEWS.... all sex cancelled as not 100% safe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People know the risks,

Do they?

That was in context to people that have chosen to play bareback, but yes you are right!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I take my cat to the cattery, we have to bring along his paperwork to show he has had his jabs.

Is this what some people do at meets? bring along a ring-binder, with past check-ups in?

Would genuinely like to know, So I could then take myself off to WHSmith for a nice new ring-binder

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you indulge in this lifestyle then it seems sensible to do the very best you can to keep yourself healthy. No it isnt foolproof, nothing in life is, but if we're gonna do it, lets at least try and give some thought to ourselves and others.

for those people who say its not as good with a condom well, as a woman I can honestly say it only feels different to me because my guy is the only guy I have sex with without a condom and he feels different to any guy I swing with, and thats just cos hes him and I know the feel of his cock and the size etc and it feels like coming home, you know safe, warm and right. With a swinging guy and I wouldnt go with anyone who wasnt wearing a condom, well they feel different anyway to me but I cant say I can feel a big difference cos they are wearing a condom.

Now yeah maybe guys feel a lot different, maybe there isnt as much friction or sensation at the head of the penis but you know, c'est le vie, so what, you either accept it as it is, or just watch and masturbate without a condom, your call!

And those who have a latex allergy or use that as an excuse, well either go and buy non latex condoms or again give up swinging - lifes a bitch at times isnt it

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

With everyone harping on about STI's, HIV etc.... I think we've forgotten the other problem with bareback.

Pregnancy.

There are women on here looking to have babies and openly admit it on their profiles.

We had a couple, not so long ago, asking for someone to make the Mrs pregnant.

And then there is Jason's ex. Who shagged everything that moved after they split in the hope that she would get pregnant.

She did. By a married man foolish enough to cheat and go bareback.

His family destroyed etc...... and whilst I have no sympathy with the idiot, it does bring another question....

How do barebackers know if the woman is telling the truth about being on the pill or steralised?

Just a thought, because I bet the barebacker (be they single or part of a couple) that gets another woman pregnant will be standing in front of the CSA pleading innocence!

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

I Guess like anything in life we all take risks in one way or another and by going bareback this is just one of them cause at the end of the day i think some people r pretty naive in thinking nothing bad will happen to them but do u honestly know where your partner your having unprotected sex with has been ? or how many partneres they have had unprotected sex with ?

The ones i feel more sorry for are the wifes/girlfriends/husbands and boyfriends of the cheating ppl on here who play bareback fun wonder how they talk themselfs out of that one lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone cheating and going bareback is just not right.

The big thing with bareback is that it is out in the open and freely admitted to.

That way we can all make an informed decision whether we want to play with them or not.

It seems to me that it is very counterproductive to hit on people we don't agree with as they will just be more reticent to admit and talk about their ways.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have no problem with anyone who wants to play bareback, that is thier given right and thier choice, we won't meet them but they wouldn't want to meet us anyway because we play safe.

It is wrong to condemn them, call them crazy or abuse them in any way, they are adults doing what they want and providing they are honest with everyone why shouldn't they.

Who are we to chastise them for it, we all do things in this lifestyle that others disagree with.

The moment they are not upfront about what they are looking for, then you have cause to say something about it the same as everyone else with thier criteria.

Many people won't meet bisexual guys, those that state they are bisexual on thier profile are not chastised by those that aren't are they

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We have no problem with anyone who wants to play bareback, that is thier given right and thier choice, we won't meet them but they wouldn't want to meet us anyway because we play safe.

It is wrong to condemn them, call them crazy or abuse them in any way, they are adults doing what they want and providing they are honest with everyone why shouldn't they.

Who are we to chastise them for it, we all do things in this lifestyle that others disagree with.

The moment they are not upfront about what they are looking for, then you have cause to say something about it the same as everyone else with thier criteria.

Many people won't meet bisexual guys, those that state they are bisexual on thier profile are not chastised by those that aren't are they

Spot on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

NO Rubber = Madness

In this day and age and with the explosion of sites like this, how can you trust anyone?

Unless you have seen confirmation from your meet that they are clean/tested, "bareback" is utter madness! not only for you but for your partner or future meets.

Bippy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry, my previous post was not meant to be ANTI-FAB.

Bippy x

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"We have no problem with anyone who wants to play bareback, that is thier given right and thier choice, we won't meet them but they wouldn't want to meet us anyway because we play safe.

It is wrong to condemn them, call them crazy or abuse them in any way, they are adults doing what they want and providing they are honest with everyone why shouldn't they.

Who are we to chastise them for it, we all do things in this lifestyle that others disagree with.

It is a shame that this isn't applied to every person and every persons circumstances who are on this site.

What others do is nothing to do with anyone else and people should be allowed to do what they want without being condemned for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes but the trouble is sometimes you make a mistake and people won't let it drop, they have to bring the subject up whatever you write on the forums and make you look like a pratt because that pleases them.

For those who don't know what I refer to it is my past comments on people who are in relationships and cheating, I made a promise not to make comments on such people anymore and as my lack of comments in this very thread show with my absence from commenting on other peoples reference to married and cheating I was managing to improve myself but there you go, tarred and feathered with a big brush for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you ware a seatbelt when you drive a car because its safer, so use a condom cos its safer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We have no problem with anyone who wants to play bareback, that is thier given right and thier choice, we won't meet them but they wouldn't want to meet us anyway because we play safe.

It is wrong to condemn them, call them crazy or abuse them in any way, they are adults doing what they want and providing they are honest with everyone why shouldn't they.

Who are we to chastise them for it, we all do things in this lifestyle that others disagree with.

It is a shame that this isn't applied to every person and every persons circumstances who are on this site.

What others do is nothing to do with anyone else and people should be allowed to do what they want without being condemned for it."

ohhhhh i couldnt agree more with that statement!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just don't forget a seatbelt won't save you in all crash situations

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"just don't forget a seatbelt won't save you in all crash situations

yes but it will save you 99% of the time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I posted on this before !! but this is cracking me up now,

Anyone who wants to bareback thats up to them !!!anyon who decides to play with them bareback coz it's dead sexy, coz I don't like rubber, coz my missuss loves it, coz you love it !!!

you are playing russian roullete no 2 ways about it !!!whatever arguement you try and come up with in this day and age it's wrong !!!

so enjoy your freestyle life but please don't try and excuse it in the forums at the end of the day every free thinking person know's that bareback is wrong.

I don't really care whether you say it's our right !!! you know it's wrong

this is my opinion and you have yours !

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"yes but the trouble is sometimes you make a mistake and people won't let it drop, they have to bring the subject up whatever you write on the forums and make you look like a pratt because that pleases them.

It could have been because after you decided not to condemn anyone on the forums again you did the very same thing the next day on another thread that had to be shut.

And the only person who can make anyone look like a pratt is the person typing.

Now before I have to ban myself if I write what I really want to write I am off this thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

quite refreshingly I haven't actually seen anyone trying to convince us it's ok to do it, barebackers just seem to get on with living thier lives the way they want to regardless of what others say in this and the other related threads.

I am sure though I have seen an increase in the number of profiles stating "bareback preferred" and wonder is this because it gets discussed ? are more people trying it ? are people more open about it ? are we going full circle back to the days of free love ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just dont get why these threads keep coming up, last time we had a profile on here it was a constantly repeated thread!

People who bareback will bareback, people who wont.. wont! Thats it really!

If they have chosen to do so, telling them that you personally dont like it will not change anything.

People know the risks, its then their choice to react however they want to do so.

They keep coming up because some people seem to think they have the right to dictate how other play!!

You'd think people old enough to find a swinging site would have the common sense to ignore and block people they don't want to play with and move on with their lives...obviously not for some!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I posted on this before !! but this is cracking me up now,

Anyone who wants to bareback thats up to them !!!anyon who decides to play with them bareback coz it's dead sexy, coz I don't like rubber, coz my missuss loves it, coz you love it !!!

you are playing russian roullete no 2 ways about it !!!whatever arguement you try and come up with in this day and age it's wrong !!!

so enjoy your freestyle life but please don't try and excuse it in the forums at the end of the day every free thinking person know's that bareback is wrong.

I don't really care whether you say it's our right !!! you know it's wrong

this is my opinion and you have yours !

Erm...your rather grandiose post could be applied to all of us who swing by "free thinking" people outside this site don't you think?!!

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By *ollie_JCouple
over a year ago

London

On a related note..

How many couples will admit during a meet that they broke a condom?

Happened to us quite a few times, and we put our hands up straight away..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To save a lot of problems,would it not be easy to have a bareback only/preferred, section/forum on the site?

That would allow bare-backers to meet and converse with like minded people.

The main pitfall of course would be honesty,something that is often lacking on swinging sites.

XXXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and a section for those wanting

Watersports

Bisexual men

Bondage and discipline

Domination and submission

Cuckolding

Dogging

and all other options of what people like to do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To save a lot of problems,would it not be easy to have a bareback only/preferred, section/forum on the site?

That would allow bare-backers to meet and converse with like minded people.

The main pitfall of course would be honesty,something that is often lacking on swinging sites.

XXXX"

Not a great idea really, I happen to find some things others do utterly repellant but I accept this is a swingers site, you cant go sectioning people off because of a sexual preference get real.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"and a section for those wanting

Watersports

Bisexual men

Bondage and discipline

Domination and submission

Cuckolding

Dogging

and all other options of what people like to do

Not really....no,as none of the above mentioned raises the same strength of emotion and controversy as bareback.

Also,its arguable that any of the above have the potential for disaster that bareback does.

XXXX

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

"To save a lot of problems,would it not be easy to have a bareback only/preferred, section/forum on the site?

That would allow bare-backers to meet and converse with like minded people.

The main pitfall of course would be honesty,something that is often lacking on swinging sites.

XXXX

Not a great idea really, I happen to find some things others do utterly repellant but I accept this is a swingers site, you cant go sectioning people off because of a sexual preference get real. "

Don't know about it being a good idea or not - another site I'm on have that, and there were no end of cyber-fights on a weekly basis: People that had no interest or business whatsoever going on there purely to pick fights and telling the interested parties on that thread comments like "you're disgusting" and "see you at the GUM clinic" (A comment I found funny, as it suggested int her infinite wisdom they wouldn't be at a GUM clinic unless they caught something... which I actually find a scarier thought as means they don't get checked??)

A forums section for bareback preference? The jury is out, but I doubt it would be a good idea - lets start with something less controversial like "interracial lovers" and see how long it goes before the fights start, lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I myself would never bareback .. I also think there shud b a way to block people who have it on there like list

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe we could put them all on an island somewhere, perhaps even nuke the island when it's full

Auswich and Belsen are still there held for people to see, perhaps we could re-open them.

What about drug users who are swingers, there are an awfull lot of people who use and e's there must be some who inject too, should we put them in the ovens too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It took only one mans hatred for the way of life of a group of people to bring about the holocaust, one man inciting and infecting others with hatred, I don't know the figures for both but I do believe that hatred killed more people than aids has and will.

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"I myself would never bareback .. I also think there shud b a way to block people who have it on there like list "

There isn't an option to put barebacking on your "like list" in the first place so having the option to block because of it is irrelevant.

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

I’m not sure that the word ‘interesting’ is the right word to described this thread but just reading it through it seems that the OP’s question hasn’t been answered at all and while everyone in this discussion seems to be all batting for the same side ‘safe sex’ its still manages to turn into arguments in places.

Not that I am about to start arguing for one side or the other because I’m not but having seen threads on this subject many times the point that always seems to get missed is this… A big part of the ‘safe-sex’ policy is not JUST using a condom its also supposed to be about NOT being promiscuous and minimising the numbers of people you have sex with, therefore ‘safe-sex’ and ‘swinging’ don’t actually fit together in the same sentence. The very fact of being an active swinger is NOT in keeping with the principals of a ‘safe-sex’ life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m not sure that the word ‘interesting’ is the right word to described this thread but just reading it through it seems that the OP’s question hasn’t been answered at all and while everyone in this discussion seems to be all batting for the same side ‘safe sex’ its still manages to turn into arguments in places.

Excellent post, thank goodness for common sense

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"NO Rubber = Madness

In this day and age and with the explosion of sites like this, how can you trust anyone?

Unless you have seen confirmation from your meet that they are clean/tested, "bareback" is utter madness! not only for you but for your partner or future meets.

Bippy

you would need a "tested clean" certificate that was bang up to date though or there would still be a risk.

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By *onyMad123Couple
over a year ago

nottingham/ derby

sorry i have just started a similar thread didnt see this one but something i do feel strongly about x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Excellent post, thank goodness for common sense

Sanest post on this thread for sure!

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By *yclopMan
over a year ago

belfast

Some of seem to forget that there is no such thing as safe sex.

5% of condoms split or have holes in them which let everything through including semen.

All condoms have micropores, between one fifth and one third have micropores big enough to let both bacteria and significant quantity of viruses through.

This has all been brought out under (American) freedom of information, you can google it.

Using condoms is three to five times safer than not using them. Everything else equating them to "safe sex" is propoganda. A labour junior health minister actually stated that one third of the sexually active population has clymidia! Challanged on her misquote, she said the truth didn't matter if her statement encouraged people to practice "safe sex".

Of course if everyone used condoms all the time, there would be fewer cases of infection, but the problem still would not go away.

Everyone who indulges in sex with more than one partner should have regular check-ups. And, supprisingly, I'm aiming this at the condom brigade, because their not having check-ups may put them at nearly as much risk as the barebackers who do have check-ups.

You can't lie back with a rubber on your willy and a selfsatisfied smile declaring that you are "safe"

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

"Some of seem to forget that there is no such thing as safe sex.

5% of condoms split or have holes in them which let everything through including semen.

All condoms have micropores, between one fifth and one third have micropores big enough to let both bacteria and significant quantity of viruses through.

This has all been brought out under (American) freedom of information, you can google it.

Of course if everyone used condoms all the time, there would be fewer cases of infection, but the problem still would not go away.

You can't lie back with a rubber on your willy and a selfsatisfied smile declaring that you are "safe"

Great post... on the same line that's what always gets me with this subject matter. 'Yes' if you so choose use a condom, chances are it might reduce the risks but offset against the FALSE sense of security it creates I wonder if it does more harm than good?

While a person may be absolutely insistent on condom on cock, they seem to forget about hands/fingers/mouths - and what about vibrators and dildos? how many woman wash their hands in between moving from one cock to another? How many men wash their hands in between moving from one pussy to another?

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By *eakcoupleCouple
over a year ago

peak district

We always use condoms when fucking now although we admit that occasionally in years gone by we didn't every time. with no ill effects. We've also been lucky not to have any condoms spilt when swinging, although this has happened to both of us in the past with lovers.

We get regular checkups and our clinic always tries to persuade us to use dental dams and condoms for oral, but they admit the risks are slight from oral sex. We think this would make sex too mechanical and break up the flow of playing, so we don't use protection for oral and we also kiss. We don't snowball however. If girls are playing with toys they make sure they use a different one, or a different end each, or put condoms on them.

Group-sex is all about being sensible without being "elf and safety" mad like work can so often be these days.

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By *yclopMan
over a year ago

belfast

There is no such thing as “safe sex”.

There are, however, a number of ways of reducing the likelihood of getting a sexually transmitted infection:-

You can use condoms (they make sex three to five times safer)

You could even use dental dams and rubber gloves.

You can chose a female partner who is a big vaginal secretor (the constant down flow of secretion, sometimes referred to as the “liquid sheath”, acts as a skin-to-skin barrier, improves lubrication and reduces the likelihood of minor tears and abrasions allowing infectious agents into the blood stream).

You can choose a male partner who is circumcised (the glans penis is as tough as old boots, it is the underside of the foreskin which is vulnerable to both infection and abrasion).

You can avoid penetrative anal sex (the anus was never designed for penetration, is more likely to suffer minor tears and abrasions, and is not well lubricated).

You can have regular check-ups, (where we all hope that everyone else's dose will be diagnosed before it is passed on to us)

You can avoid perceived dangerous groups, intravenous drug users, bi-sexual men who interact with the gay community (see anal), stupid kids (teenagers and twenty-somthings), prolific fuckers who have a different partner every night (see check-ups), and whores who have several partners a day.

But, there is no such thing as “safe sex”, we can do all these things, and if we are unlucky we can still get a dose.

Worse still, we can see some dirty fucker ignoring all of the above and somehow being lucky enough to get away with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

some dirty fucker"

How everyone outside this lifestyle probably _iew us!

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By *eizvollWoman
over a year ago

in my own little world :-)

some dirty fucker

How everyone outside this lifestyle probably _iew us!

Don't you wear the badge with pride

lol

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

Well we've been sitting on the side lines on this one - but hey ho!

Whoever it was who said 'if you swing bareback for 10 years you will definitely catch and STD'

We'd love to hear where that bit of knowledge came from. Actual statistic figure that is

Without going into the debate shoud you or shoudln't you

Without going into the debate that smoking is far more likely to kill or seriously harm you than bareback but no one has a go at smokers here

Without going into the debate that you are several times more likely to die or be seriosly harmed by driving to a safe (ish) sex meet than accomodating a bare back only couple

And without going into the debate (though we would love to) that overweight BBWs and BBMs put their health at greater risk of seriouss harm than barebackers do

Let's just ask this one question instead

After around 4 years on scene now, why do we get *more* contact and meets since we put 'will bareback if comfortable' on our profile, than we ever did when we used to tick 'safe sex' even though it wasn't what we really wanted?

Oh and as an aside, why does this site not have a bareback tickbox on profiles next to safe-sex, like another free site that we use does?

After all it would help us barebackers find each other and the paranoid-ish to avoid us. So who actually is against having that?

j&r

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

The thing I don't quite understand with those who say 'no bisexuals males' because bisexual males must be having sex with gay males and therefore carry a high risk of AIDS, and the 'we won't play with people who have played bare-back'... one has to wonder, how do you know? How can you tell if someone ALWAYS plays safe? I mean if I change our profile to 'straight' & 'straight' and 'safe-sex ONLY' does that actually make us any safer? Of course it doesn't but it would make us liars if it were possible to find the truth.

So given that 'safe-sex only' could be a lie and 'straight' could be a lie you'd have to wonder what else might be lies!

One thing is certain, we get 100's of PM's from so-called single guys with 'straight' and 'safe-sex only' on their profile and PM us with the classic line 'I'm actually bi but I put straight on my profile cos it puts people off'.

And lets not forget the so-called single male is often married and could well be playing away for the bisexual stuff while also playing as a genuine couple 'straight - straight and safe-sex only'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are half of that

We don't care if a guy is bi so long as he respects that I am straight

We don't play with people that either play bareback or those who have played with people who only play bareback.

First half - most of the time it's not about the aids issue, I used to think it was hypocritical, most of those that you talk about have bisexual wives but won't play with bisexual men

Through these forums I have since learned that for most it is because they cannot get the "what men do together" out of thier minds and it makes them uncomfortable, others feel uncomfortable because they think the guy is eyeing them up whilst playing with thier partner. understandable for some.

Second part - You can only do your best to make yourself safe and to make the situation comfortable, no of course you cannot guarantee it but you can eliminate some of the risk by avoiding those that declare it (or seeking them out if that's what your looking for)

Would you play with a woman who has had a sex change ? how do you know that all the women on here were born women ? Swinging is a lot about trust albeit trust with care

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By *ankeepeteMan
over a year ago

penrith

well l do do"bareback"but am not with a different lady every night-week-or even month,at my age most women/couples asume l am an old fart who is"past it" well l aint and as a regular blood doner l am tested every 3 months for ANY blood infection,so if you ladies/couples want a(straight)guy to join you then give me a call.

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By *ankeepeteMan
over a year ago

penrith

are there any ladies or couples(straight male)would like to meet me and see how we get along? xxx

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By *yclopMan
over a year ago

belfast

[Removed by poster at 19/10/10 02:15:55]

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By *yclopMan
over a year ago

belfast

Hi Angie&MrMan

How do you tell what the other guys, girls and couples are doing? Bareback? Different partners every night? Bi and interacting with the gay community?

Well you just have to be a good liar!

Ask them in private - "enthusiastically" !!!

Make them think you want to be in on it, get a real vicarious thrill from it!

They'll brag about it!

Then you'll know where you stand with them.

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

"Hi Angie&MrMan

How do you tell what the other guys, girls and couples are doing? Bareback? Different partners every night? Bi and interacting with the gay community?

Well you just have to be a good liar!

Ask them in private - "enthusiastically" !!!

Make them think you want to be in on it, get a real vicarious thrill from it!

They'll brag about it!

Then you'll know where you stand with them.

And... people are often inclined to say what they think you want to hear to get a shag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

some dirty fucker

How everyone outside this lifestyle probably _iew us!

Don't you wear the badge with pride

lol"

LOL..erm..yeah, ok - you got me!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It does make you wonder how many, if any, FS members are walking around HIV+ or carrying another STI and are completely unaware of it

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

Well that’s easy… ask ADMIN what the total membership count is. Then ask what is the total ACTIVE membership count, maybe 10% of the total. Then consider them as ‘average’ and apply the odds. You might find that the results either see an end to the use of condoms or an end to the swinging hobby.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well that’s easy… ask ADMIN what the total membership count is. Then ask what is the total ACTIVE membership count, maybe 10% of the total. Then consider them as ‘average’ and apply the odds. You might find that the results either see an end to the use of condoms or an end to the swinging hobby.

"
LOL, I think the site owners might _iew the total membership as sensitive information

I also think the odds are probably going to be higher amongst people involved in this lifestyle, compared to the general population..so it really would be a stab in the dark, if you can pardon the pun!

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

""Well that’s easy… ask ADMIN what the total membership count is. Then ask what is the total ACTIVE membership count, maybe 10% of the total. Then consider them as ‘average’ and apply the odds. You might find that the results either see an end to the use of condoms or an end to the swinging hobby.

"LOL, I think the site owners might _iew the total membership as sensitive information

I think you are right on the first point but I'm not so sure about the second. Thing is, a lot of people in this hobby tend to have an above average interest in sex and so it could follow that they have a better general knowledge of the subject. With this in mind it would be perfectly reasonable if it turned out in truth that STI's in the swinging community is less than the general public.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

in my job i have seen the nasty stuff (std) and i can honestly say condom every time i dont want any of that yuck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/10/10 00:03:49]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wells is a lovely place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"LOL, I think the site owners might _iew the total membership as sensitive information

I partly agree, I think that's true amongst dedicated, considerate members of this lifestyle, like you and me and many others here, but the problem is there's no criteria for membership-we judge people on how we find them and how they present themselves, but none of us is to know what motivates people or how active and cavalier they are in what they get up to.

There are people here who are opportunists and wanton thrill seekers, they're prepared to compromise their safety, personal relationships and the health of others in order to achieve their objectives-the swinging lifestyle represents one avenue they pursue believing it offers the chance to have sex with anybody and sometimes they strike lucky.

If one of the requirements was we all treated each other with the same consideration that we'd like to be treated ourselves, then bareback sex would probably be the order of the day because everybody would be honest, safe and clean..chance would be a fine thing !

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By *hellmellCouple
over a year ago

shrewsbury

[Removed by poster at 24/10/10 17:18:33]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"[Removed by poster at 24/10/10 17:18:33]"

Thats the best comment I have read on here today

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"[Removed by poster at 24/10/10 17:18:33]

Thats the best comment I have read on here today

Seriously??? I have read better tbh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i personally never get why so many people spend so much time pondering on what others are do

its not that i dont care about other people

but....

to me you loook after yourself and so long as you do that thats all that matters, people know the risks of not using condoms and thats their buisness not mine

i would never question anyone elses choices

just live and let live and eccept we all make different decisions in life and what other choose to do that you dont is their buisness not yours"

well said naughty hun.....second that xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

actually i thought your other post in this was great and was gona give ya a big thumbs up....well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No Glove, No Love !! :P

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On this I think people need to accept that some people do prefer it.. I am sure they do not do so without understanding the risks.

Each to their own.. same with most things sexual.

Katie. x

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By *lack_BoltMan
over a year ago

oxford

On every swinging site I've been on the subject of bareback sex comes up. Usually more than once. And everyone it does the same emotions are conveyed and the same comments are made. However what people say, and what people do, in reality can be vastly different.

My feelings about it are that we shouldn't villify those who do it, instead we should accept it as simply another choice that some are prepared to make. That way it comes 'out of the closet' and allows the rest of us to make a judgement about whether we want to get involved with that person or not.

This I think would allow us to be as safe as we choose and hopefuy make it better for everyone else. The emotion that is shown will only drive it underground and then none of us will really know who or what we're dealing with?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not into private meets only club ones and luckily played with the same guys a few times...I totally trust them so will allow them to go bareback. If its a new guy then I will ask them nicely whilst offering them a condom. Its more difficult when in the jaccuzi but then again I usually only play in there.

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By *agman n angelCouple
over a year ago

benidorm

Just our personal preference, but we would never play with anyone who does it bareback, even if he was to wear a condom for us, and its ok getting checked regularly, but one of the times is gonna come back positive for hiv. why go through all that shit?

If any guy wants it then they should be more concious of how to protect himself and others.

Personally wedont think anyone who does it bareback should be swingers and in reallity deserves what they get pox hiv or whatever is on the menu that fateful night of passion which could so easy avoided if brains were used as often as sex organs.

rant over and i know some of you are offended, but hey we each have an opinion.

we are a nice couple really lol

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"I'm not into private meets only club ones and luckily played with the same guys a few times...I totally trust them so will allow them to go bareback. If its a new guy then I will ask them nicely whilst offering them a condom. Its more difficult when in the jaccuzi but then again I usually only play in there."

Can I ask a question?

You say you trust another swinger who is also playing in Chams......trust them not to play with others is that?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Sorry, I mean clubs not chams.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I trust that they are 'safe'....I know they play at chams or other clubs with other people but well anyway thats just me and if my judgement is wrong then tough!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"luckily played with the same guys a few times...I totally trust them so will allow them to go bareback. "

no offence but... never read anything more naive.

played with STRANGERS a few times and totally TRUST them.

again no offence meant.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"I trust that they are 'safe'....I know they play at chams or other clubs with other people but well anyway thats just me and if my judgement is wrong then tough!"

I think you are being very niave.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sorry maybe i should have said that these guys are also personal friends...not that it will make a difference to some of you lol

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"don't worry... not being told off... but tends to be one of those "emotive" subjects that tends to kick off every so often...

good luck.......

Would like a option for people who dislike or like bareback to have it on there profiles

so people who dislike it can block them from emailing them ect

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By *agman n angelCouple
over a year ago

benidorm

I had a best friend who died of aids, but in your book personal friends are ok, maybe i should have fucked her, couldnt possibly have caught anything from her she was a friend

NIAVE to say the least, or maybe dont care

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"sorry maybe i should have said that these guys are also personal friends...not that it will make a difference to some of you lol"

If they play with you bareback they'll play with others bareback. Do you sit and talk with them, asking about their last bareback experience? When did they get tested? Do they have proof that they are clean?....thought not.

After reading this little lot I wouldn't touch some on here with someone elses barge pole....again, no offence meant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I had a best friend who died of aids, but in your book personal friends are ok, maybe i should have fucked her, couldnt possibly have caught anything from her she was a friend

NIAVE to say the least, or maybe dont care"

Very good point. Also, my sympathy for your loss x

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

"I trust that they are 'safe'....I know they play at chams or other clubs with other people but well anyway thats just me and if my judgement is wrong then tough!"

Crikey - just had to rub my eyes at this post - naive is the kindest description if you trust these guys - you may shag 'em on a regular basis but how do you know that they're totally clean? Z

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I trust that they are 'safe'....I know they play at chams or other clubs with other people but well anyway thats just me and if my judgement is wrong then tough!

Crikey - just had to rub my eyes at this post - naive is the kindest description if you trust these guys - you may shag 'em on a regular basis but how do you know that they're totally clean? Z"

Hmmmm...I had to read that twice too! I'm amazed anyone would put their health and well being in the hands of a third party.

We all know the risks involved with casual sex, but most of us try to all we can to mitigate any risk by using condoms, being "selective" on our playmates and being tested frequently.

Why, to then assume because someone is a "personal friend" and you're having sex with them in a club environment where they are having casual sex bareback with other people, beggars belief.

Naive and deluded don't even begin to cover this!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I may be on a swingers site but I don't go around fucking just anyone like many I could mention. The guys I know are also the same.....in our cases its quality over quantity so yeah I'm happy with what I do and yes I do know they are clean and safe. They don't need a medical certificate to prove it!

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

You are in complete cloud cuckoo land but you're honest and you're allowed to play exactly how you want

I just really hope you don't get a nasty shock anytime soon

Take care of yourself x

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By *agman n angelCouple
over a year ago

benidorm

we like this topic, it helps us to find out who we need to steer clear of.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we like this topic, it helps us to find out who we need to steer clear of."

Thing is though, you are relying on people telling the truth, and do you believe everything someone else says?

Some will say they don't but in reality they will.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"we like this topic, it helps us to find out who we need to steer clear of.

Thing is though, you are relying on people telling the truth, and do you believe everything someone else says?

Some will say they don't but in reality they will.

Exactly,as long as I know im doing the best to reduce risks and protect myself then im not going to listen to what anyone tells me about how they look after their sexual health, like you say anyone can say what they like and unless I go with them to a clinic and keep them locked in a cellar until I know they're clear im not about to believe that someone tells me they're safe to play bareback

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By *ingmasterMan
over a year ago

nottingham

"we like this topic, it helps us to find out who we need to steer clear of.

Thing is though, you are relying on people telling the truth, and do you believe everything someone else says?

Some will say they don't but in reality they will.

Absolutely right , many many many say they always play safe , but in reality they dont .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I may be on a swingers site but I don't go around fucking just anyone like many I could mention. The guys I know are also the same.....in our cases its quality over quantity so yeah I'm happy with what I do and yes I do know they are clean and safe. They don't need a medical certificate to prove it!"

Oh dear.....lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not sure why you felt the need to say that as you practice safe sex and this thread is about bareback sex ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aaaaaah got that wrong just trawled further back and read your statement saying you play bareback with guys at clubs, sorry I initially went by your profile that states your interests are safe sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Aaaaaah got that wrong just trawled further back and read your statement saying you play bareback with guys at clubs, sorry I initially went by your profile that states your interests are safe sex

Pay attention Jed for heavens sake! Safe sex is when you have someone's phone number or class them as a friend or when you've met them a few times in a club. Once thats happened then the durex stay in the lockers & its hi ho clap we go!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh very droll !!!

I see its the same old people having a go again. I'm not a seasoned swinger like most of you...for a while I was married then went through a dry patch but I still don't make sex my number 1 priority. I'm not 'at' it all the time even at the club and I do know these guys wear condoms when with other meets. If I choose not to with these guys that is surely my choice just as you see fit to do what you like with your meets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Last time I barebacked was with a "trusted" partner of 3 years- soon found out he was wellying it elsewhere (hence why I had a trip to the doc)- now.....I trust no-one, so never agian for me

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"oh very droll !!!

There is no need to be so rude when you post you know.

People are allowed to comment on something that YOU have posted without you slagging anyone off for having sex with more people than you or you accusing them of having a go at you.

If you don't want any comments on what you do write it might be an idea not to write them on a public forum for all to see.

As for knowing your men you have sex with use a condom on their other meets, how would you know if that was true or not.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"oh very droll !!!

I really don't want to bust your balls, but for you to take the word of guys that they use condoms with other women and only bareback with you?.....Sorry but ridiculous beyond belief.

You cannot possibly know that they do...simple as that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Read through this thread and yes it is an emotive subject and not everyone is going to agree on it.

Maybe its time to close it as insults are being thrown around.

But then again it will probably start again in a few days if thats done.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

What insults?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How many on here would...

1: Put thier kids in a taxi, without checking who the driver was? check the brakes,steering,tyres,lights,ask for MOT certificate,insurance?..

2: Hire a car and check everything??

3: Eat in a restaurant without checking the bacteria count in the kitchen?.

4:Plug an electrical appliance in without PAT testing it?

5:Drink something a stranger had bought you?

6:Get on a fairground ride or rollercoaster (without asking for certification).

7: decide at what point in a relationship to concieve or have perfectly natural sex with thier partner without asking if they have been "checked" or "unfaithfull" first?

The list is endless......

We cannot go through life being scared or wary of everything.

We have been swinging a long time now, virtually every weekend and have never encountered any STD's whatsoever and although we cannot rule out that we never would get any, we cant say that we will either...in much the same way as, having been driving every day for over 30yrs without incident, we cant rule out having an accident either.

Life is life - people make thier own choices.

In reality, we have met loads who insist on condoms, then when it gets down to it, dont bother......and 99.999% of sensible married people would not dream of playing if they had any infection or anything untowards.

We actually know a cpl (on our friends/verifications) who we have known for a few years now and they always practice safe sex with condoms (fair play - thats thier decision and we respect it). They had a party at their house, which went swimmingly well, all with other cpls and singles who also used condoms.

Then get up the next day, clean up and discover all the kids toy boxes filled with used condoms.......very safe (well done to the bastards that put them there!!!).

dont judge people's preferences.....respect them for thier individuality and for being who they are.

Happy swinging - in whichever way you do it......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"oh very droll !!!

I never "had a go" nor did I insult you, I merely went to the "last post on the thread" where you commented, then looked at your profile which as I said says you do safe sex, so naturally assumed you did what your profile said, then when I looked further back I saw you did bareback sex so corrected my own post.

My personal opinion is that you should if you want do bareback sex as much as you want without ridicule or insult, it is your choice, personally I would not play with anyone who does or with anyone on thier friends list or verification list but that's just me taking care of myself with my own choices.

Unfortunately men lie and those who say they only bareback with you could easily be lying, after all they are taking the risk with you as you openly admit to them that you are happy to bareback, I personally doubt they care who does and who doesn't but that is your choice.

You can't have safe sex but you can cut down on the odds of catching something or passing it on.

I only "have a go" at people who do it but don't admit to it or hide it, or imply they don't do it, a profile should be honest on all points if you hope to command any respect.

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