FabSwingers.com forum: Married

By *askin OP Man
over a year ago

East Lincs

How is it married men looking for fun are frowned upon--but married women doing the same are ok--and even encouraged ??????????????????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I blame all those married men who are being frowned upon for encouraging all those married women mesel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very good question and one I will await the answer to whilst I sit with my popcorn.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because most woman there husband know about it and so same thing, put some of the married men on here there doing it behind there backs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How is it married men looking for fun are frowned upon--but married women doing the same are ok--and even encouraged ??????????????????"

We meet guys and we wouldnt knowingly meet a guy who is married,we wouldnt meet a woman if she was married either.

Yes there are some people who will meet married men and women,but i suspect its guys who dont care if the lady is married or not by the amount of emails we get of guys asking me to meet them behind Pauls back.

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

That’s one hell of an assumption to make…

Why do you assume that its ‘ok’ for married women to cheat? Not in our book it isn’t, we wouldn’t knowing indulge either male or female playing away.

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By *ummy mummyWoman
over a year ago

southampton-ish

i personally think it is wrong for both married man and woman to play away...and i do not meet either....

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By *unterslickCouple
over a year ago

tullamore

"How is it married men looking for fun are frowned upon--but married women doing the same are ok--and even encouraged ??????????????????

We meet guys and we wouldnt knowingly meet a guy who is married,we wouldnt meet a woman if she was married either.

yep we had that countless times,even had them offering j money,for a meet

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

why would you worry about it .. you don't seem to mention it in your profile, so why bother.

onwards and upwards..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How i look at it is if your a couple you play as a couple not behind each other we get fed up of men saying there married and meet as a couple when t to meeting they make an excuse there wife cant turn up but they can still meet up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm married, my Husband doesn't know I'm on here and why am I? because I'm in a sexless marriage, admittedly my choice, as he's been having an affair for the last 5 years and it's not the first one, he's old school as in he's allowed and I'm not, so until I am a position to be able to leave him, why shouldn't I play?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm married, my Husband doesn't know I'm on here and why am I? because I'm in a sexless marriage, admittedly my choice, as he's been having an affair for the last 5 years and it's not the first one, he's old school as in he's allowed and I'm not, so until I am a position to be able to leave him, why shouldn't I play? "

Mwahahahaaaaaaa.......good girl!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A very valid argument, ive no doubt some husbands may have the same one

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By *apmanandswallowtailCouple
over a year ago

plymouth

Then there are married couples like us, where my wife and me play as a couple but she is also willing to allow me to play with women on my own (although with conditions as per our profile). In fact she keeps saying she can't wait for a woman to come to our place and for me and the woman to play while she watches only and takes no part. (Still waiting for that elusive woman.)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

as someone who only yesterday had the call from the wife of someone who told me he was seperated like i am i would much rather someone be up front and honest with me than lie at least then i have a choice of whether i play with them or not in fact thinking of only meeting guys who are married least they a lot more careful where they leave there phones!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Then there are married couples like us, where my wife and me play as a couple but she is also willing to allow me to play with women on my own (although with conditions as per our profile). In fact she keeps saying she can't wait for a woman to come to our place and for me and the woman to play while she watches only and takes no part. (Still waiting for that elusive woman.)"

But those rules about the elusive female isnt easy for people who doesn't live near!

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By *apmanandswallowtailCouple
over a year ago

plymouth

But those rules about the elusive female isnt easy for people who doesn't live near!"

That's true but we both can't drive which making getting about difficult for us and we do have a spare room which can be used for overnight stops if needed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But those rules about the elusive female isnt easy for people who doesn't live near!

That's true but we both can't drive which making getting about difficult for us and we do have a spare room which can be used for overnight stops if needed.

so people are supposed to know that

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By *apmanandswallowtailCouple
over a year ago

plymouth

But those rules about the elusive female isnt easy for people who doesn't live near!

That's true but we both can't drive which making getting about difficult for us and we do have a spare room which can be used for overnight stops if needed.

so people are supposed to know that

Profile amended

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This sort of ties in with a thread I started this morning...

http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/36267

I personally think that if people are honest about what they are up to (both within their relationship and with the people that want to meet) then marital status shouldn't matter, but clearly it does to some.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not the moral police, and what married people do behind their partners back is of little concern to me.

All I ask is not to involve me in any way shape or form. I prefer not to play with married men, not because my moral compass is set higher than anybody elses, I just like to be able to play in comfort without my playmate listening out for the wife phoning to remind him to pick up some soya milk from Tesco's on his way home...bit of a passion killer!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

SIMPLE........MOST women would NOT entertain a married man....MOST men would entertain a married women!!!!!

Cath xx

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

Oh trust me married and playing women do get stick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is so wrong with attached people cant anyone just walk by and drop it i mean at least they are honest hats off to them And yeah when i joined this site 16 months ago i was a married fem that played away for reasons i wont go into .I got shit for being honest yet know fact that there is loads of singles that specifically say that they are single when they are attached.Each to there own who plays with who and why each individual is on this site its a site for all married single attached whatever can we just all swing be happy and stop these stupid posts that are targeted at somone that does have feelings if its not targeted at married its single guys i mean come on. couples very rarely get post up about them now be honest people how many couple profiles that are gen couples and some well know have you had a message from saying can we meet and keep it a secret from the wife,im not saying all play around but believe me to slate one group thats probably the most honest about what there doing on site .probably going to get the yes but there partner doesnt know true maybe they dont but maybe the situations difficult medical heartbreaking ive heard loads just have a think can you genuinely say that everyone you have met has been 100% single if you dont want to meet someone then dont why keep up these pointless posts of slander swing fuck play tease do what makes you happy and walk on by those you dont wanna know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here Here P 4U

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i agree with that P 4u

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By *nemichaelMan
over a year ago

kings lynn

well said Simone,

My feelings exactly. We are not all blessed with parters who want to swing. I am not even blessed with a partner who wants sex. It may be wrong but lets not judge its been going on since the dawn of time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How is it married men looking for fun are frowned upon--but married women doing the same are ok--and even encouraged ??????????????????"

What makes you think they are, some people approve of guys cheating and being on this site, some don't and the same applies to women.

If your a woman and cheating, don't bother contacting us, we feel the same about cheats whatever thier gender and have turned down both species (but wow was she gorgeous sob sob)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"well said Simone,

Why shouldn't we judge, you took the vow, for better or for worse, I accept only one excuse for not telling your partner what your doing - he/she is in a coma/altzhiemers and couldn't understand what your telling them, anything else is cheating.

However if any guys want to give me thier wifes phone number so I can show her some real fun while they are out cheating on her then I will be happy to oblige.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is so wrong with attached people cant anyone just walk by and drop it i mean at least they are honest hats off to them And yeah when i joined this site 16 months ago i was a married fem that played away for reasons i wont go into .I got shit for being honest yet know fact that there is loads of singles that specifically say that they are single when they are attached.Each to there own who plays with who and why each individual is on this site its a site for all married single attached whatever can we just all swing be happy and stop these stupid posts that are targeted at somone that does have feelings if its not targeted at married its single guys i mean come on. couples very rarely get post up about them now be honest people how many couple profiles that are gen couples and some well know have you had a message from saying can we meet and keep it a secret from the wife,im not saying all play around but believe me to slate one group thats probably the most honest about what there doing on site .probably going to get the yes but there partner doesnt know true maybe they dont but maybe the situations difficult medical heartbreaking ive heard loads just have a think can you genuinely say that everyone you have met has been 100% single if you dont want to meet someone then dont why keep up these pointless posts of slander swing fuck play tease do what makes you happy and walk on by those you dont wanna know

Who were you honest with, a bunch of strangers on a website or your family, your husband and the man you promised to respect ?

Honesty, some people do not know the meaning of the word.

Cheat, lie do what you want, it is your choice, enjoy the site, have loads of meets but don;t preach to us that your honest and doing nothing wrong.

A lot of people on here prefer to meet people who are cheating, there is lots of fun for you to have, some believe people who are cheating are less likely to become emotionally involved, some believe they will be more discreet, some get a kick out of knowing they are helping them cheat, so enjoy yourselves.

Stop telling me there is nothing wrong with it and I will stop telling you I don't agree with it.

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

"If your a woman and cheating, don't bother contacting us, we feel the same about cheats whatever thier gender and have turned down both species (but wow was she gorgeous sob sob)

.....

However if any guys want to give me thier wifes phone number so I can show her some real fun while they are out cheating on her then I will be happy to oblige."

Contradiction there, Jed?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How is it married men looking for fun are frowned upon--but married women doing the same are ok--and even encouraged ??????????????????"

Numbers. There are far fewer single (or posing as single) women on the site so there's a more tolerant attitude in some quarters towards the 'married but playing away' ones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If your a woman and cheating, don't bother contacting us, we feel the same about cheats whatever thier gender and have turned down both species (but wow was she gorgeous sob sob)

.....

However if any guys want to give me thier wifes phone number so I can show her some real fun while they are out cheating on her then I will be happy to oblige.

Contradiction there, Jed?"

How so ? if the guy wants to give me his wifes phone number he is aware of what she is doing and therefore it's mutual consent

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

if ppl choose to cheat on their partner for what ever reason thats is total their choice to make .likewise, if i choose not to play with someone whos cheating that is MY choice . yes some are honest about the situation but most im afraid arent . i like a straight forward hassle free life and dont wanna complicate it by turning it in to summit that jeremy kyle would be proud of lol ! at the end of the day even if the person is honest here about their cheating they are still dishonest to their partner .im afraid way i _iew that is if they have no trouble lieing and being dishonest to their own partner why on earth would they be honest about things with me a vertual stranger ??? so be it male or female cheating i treat the same and choose not to have any envolement in that situation .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If your a woman and cheating, don't bother contacting us, we feel the same about cheats whatever thier gender and have turned down both species (but wow was she gorgeous sob sob)

.....

However if any guys want to give me thier wifes phone number so I can show her some real fun while they are out cheating on her then I will be happy to oblige.

Contradiction there, Jed?"

No, as he'd have the husband's consent so not cheating!

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

"If your a woman and cheating, don't bother contacting us, we feel the same about cheats whatever thier gender and have turned down both species (but wow was she gorgeous sob sob)

.....

However if any guys want to give me thier wifes phone number so I can show her some real fun while they are out cheating on her then I will be happy to oblige.

Contradiction there, Jed?

How so ? if the guy wants to give me his wifes phone number he is aware of what she is doing and therefore it's mutual consent

Ahhh, she's not cheating....I see.

But, she doesn't know her husband is (otherwise it's not cheating by that logic), so SHE thinks she's cheating.

Are you OK with that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope, but I would tell her how I got her number after being passed it by her husband on a swingers site

The sympathy shag ploy hasnt really been working for me so perhaps the "Twat if he can do it WILL shag this old git just to show him" shag

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"well said Simone,

However if any guys want to give me thier wifes phone number so I can show her some real fun while they are out cheating on her then I will be happy to oblige."

But wouldn't that mean you are playing with a married woman? Something you don't do you said.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"If your a woman and cheating, don't bother contacting us, we feel the same about cheats whatever thier gender and have turned down both species (but wow was she gorgeous sob sob)

.....

However if any guys want to give me thier wifes phone number so I can show her some real fun while they are out cheating on her then I will be happy to oblige.

Contradiction there, Jed?

No, as he'd have the husband's consent so not cheating!

But he says on another thread he doesn't play with one half of couples

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By *ustyWoman
over a year ago

inverclyde

being a single female i dont meet married men a i feel that they are cheating on the wife especially she has no idea what he is up to...... let alone being on this site or any other

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

[Removed by poster at 17/09/10 21:00:28]

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

[Removed by poster at 17/09/10 21:07:51]

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"How is it married men looking for fun are frowned upon--but married women doing the same are ok--and even encouraged ??????????????????"

I don't know why men get more stick than women ( although there is one woman on this thread who rightly said she had a lot of stick over it before now )

For us, we don't play with either.

1) We don't play with women anyway.

2) We like unrushed meets, meeting with married men who have to bring the dog with them and ask to borrow a loaf as they were meant to be going the shop whilst taking the dog for a walk isn't much fun.

But the biggest factor was, when we first started playing we had agood few meets with a "single " man, who gave a really good impression of being single with no restrictions who then turned out to have a live in lover with two kids.

Now ok, you may say that would be his conscience that he would have to live with, but our conscience took a battering over it, even though we assumed he was telling the truth about being single by the freedom he had.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How is it married men looking for fun are frowned upon--but married women doing the same are ok--and even encouraged ??????????????????"

Never mind infidelity. Why do you use an inordinate number of question marks? One does exactly the same job. If you are going to waste question marks I suggest you give them to charity.

Who said it's okay for women ?

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

" meeting with married men who have to bring the dog with them and ask to borrow a loaf as they were meant to be going the shop whilst taking the dog for a walk isn't much fun.

That made me laugh a great deal.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

" meeting with married men who have to bring the dog with them and ask to borrow a loaf as they were meant to be going the shop whilst taking the dog for a walk isn't much fun.

That made me laugh a great deal."

You are laughing, on another site we did actually get offered a meet on a Monday night for an hour while he was taking the dog for a walk and the wife was at bingo.....he asked us did we have anywhere to tie the dog up !!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

PS although he didn't ask for a loaf

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

" meeting with married men who have to bring the dog with them and ask to borrow a loaf as they were meant to be going the shop whilst taking the dog for a walk isn't much fun.

That made me laugh a great deal.

That's ridiculous. If he's devious enough to get that far, can't he improvise somewhere to tie the dog up?

Very poor. I hope he got no more than a civil handshake and a Tesco Value loaf.

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

"PS although he didn't ask for a loaf

Milk?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

" meeting with married men who have to bring the dog with them and ask to borrow a loaf as they were meant to be going the shop whilst taking the dog for a walk isn't much fun.

That made me laugh a great deal.

That's ridiculous. If he's devious enough to get that far, can't he improvise somewhere to tie the dog up?

Very poor. I hope he got no more than a civil handshake and a Tesco Value loaf."

lol @ Tesco value loaf..........he didn't get anything other than a mail from our inbox declining his wonderful offer as we had no bread to give him.

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

" meeting with married men who have to bring the dog with them and ask to borrow a loaf as they were meant to be going the shop whilst taking the dog for a walk isn't much fun.

That made me laugh a great deal.

Perhaps he was into the Festish/Bondage scene and you just mis-read his post...

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

" meeting with married men who have to bring the dog with them and ask to borrow a loaf as they were meant to be going the shop whilst taking the dog for a walk isn't much fun.

That made me laugh a great deal.

Perhaps he was into the Festish/Bondage scene and you just mis-read his post...

Who are you calling a dog????

First, Dances isn't always gorgeous, now you're having a pop at the inestimable Rugby....

Are you Notts in disguise?

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

" meeting with married men who have to bring the dog with them and ask to borrow a loaf as they were meant to be going the shop whilst taking the dog for a walk isn't much fun.

That made me laugh a great deal.

Perhaps he was into the Festish/Bondage scene and you just mis-read his post...

Who are you calling a dog????

First, Dances isn't always gorgeous, now you're having a pop at the inestimable Rugby....

Are you Notts in disguise?"

Only one way to sort THAT one out....

(where is the estimable forumite? It's been quiet for a few days now i think of it. DARE i ask???)

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

We're not allowed to ask how long it's going to be quiet for.

Or comment on how we feel about it.

Which is fair.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Ive seen women ripped to shreds for being married and being on here so I don't agree that people think its ok

The difference is that there are far more men on here than single women so it seems the single guy gets ripped into more often if they come into the forums saying they're married as there are more threads of that nature

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If your a woman and cheating, don't bother contacting us, we feel the same about cheats whatever thier gender and have turned down both species (but wow was she gorgeous sob sob)

.....

However if any guys want to give me thier wifes phone number so I can show her some real fun while they are out cheating on her then I will be happy to oblige.

Contradiction there, Jed?

No, as he'd have the husband's consent so not cheating!

But he says on another thread he doesn't play with one half of couples

Ooh, so he did!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been keeping my eye on these threads throughout the day and have just read through them again

There are many reasons for married folk that play away

Some consider that their marriage is over for whatever reason but like myself are not in the position to leave their spouse at the present time or the ones that are waiting for the kids to grow up and yes there are the ones that are just cheating,

But whose to say we are all wrong by not telling our partners and were all cheating if we don‘t, my Husband didn’t tell me about he’s affairs, I found out for myself, my Husband didn’t tell me the piece of information which made up my mind that my marriage was defiantly over, that his girlfriend had carried and given birth to their daughter, I found out myself, so why should I tell my Husband what I’m doing.

Someone also brought up the subject of marriage vows, well I seem to recall one that says “and thou shall keep thyself only unto him/her” I don’t recall the tag on however saying “unless of course you both agree to shag other people in front of each other”

I’m not trying to justify my playing away, it’s just the way I see it but as they say each to their own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Been keeping my eye on these threads throughout the day and have just read through them again

There are many reasons for married folk that play away

I’m not trying to justify my playing away, it’s just the way I see it but as they say each to their own.

Vows made between two people - your public face your private face between the two of you,

Wrap it up anyway you want, I dont care about people who cheat, I do care that they keep opening threads to tell us they "have thier reasons" or "he/she did it first" very few say "I cheat, its wrong it brings misery to many families but its what I do"

Two wrongs dont make a right and I do many things wrong, I dont cheat and Sasha nor myself have made vows to each other we live together that is all. The difference with me is that when I do wrong I admit it, I pay the price without moaning and asking for understanding. I make no excuse I hold my hands up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If your a woman and cheating, don't bother contacting us, we feel the same about cheats whatever thier gender and have turned down both species (but wow was she gorgeous sob sob)

.....

However if any guys want to give me thier wifes phone number so I can show her some real fun while they are out cheating on her then I will be happy to oblige.

Contradiction there, Jed?

No, as he'd have the husband's consent so not cheating!

But he says on another thread he doesn't play with one half of couples

Ooh, so he did!

Tongue in cheek statement, maybe just maybe someone cheating will realise it can work both ways, no I wouldn't really shag someones wife, I play with people who want to play with me because I am what I am not because their husband is out cheating on them and its revenge. ya gotta do the I's n cross the T's in here and I forgot that one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I go by the rule of im here to play with couples, what i care about is if they treat me respectfully, they dont try and force me into doing something I dont want to do, they look nice, they smell nice, they have a fab sense of humour, they are gentle and make me feel comfortable in their presence. I dont care about anything else. What their personal circumstances are is of no concern to me. I dont collect guys telephone numbers as im not interested in seeing them again.

i also think that there are married people on here who will say they are single, noone is gonna tell everyone the truth, so why even waste your breath asking, just concentrate on whats important sexually for you, thats my _iew anyway. Maybe its different for singles

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

Just for clarity, Jed, I wasn't trying to catch you out, it was equally t-i-c here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Know you well enough to guess that now, no offence taken

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By *ezndd69Man
over a year ago

Henley on Thames

We are a couple and play as a couple with mainly single guys but will meet married ones as long as we chat on the phone and agree it with his partner.

I'm a very lucky guy as my partner does not mind me playing on my own, even though people think I'm going behind her back / think i am a single guy pretending to be a couple. It does say on our profile that she does not mind me playing alone and can be checked by phone or cam yet most just assume this is a lie.

I met a couple last night just for a drink

on first contact they thought the same and was very surprised when they asked to speak to my partner on the phone and i agreed.

she confirmed its ok with her several times lol,there again cant blame them being suspicious cause as we all know there are lots out there who are false and give us real ones a bad name

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its the difference between men and women

Most women on here dont like the idea of other women being cheated on so dont really want to meet married men, where as men dont give a flying fook and are more than happy to meet married women

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" just concentrate on whats important sexually for you"

Erm...isn't that what people are saying?!!

It's important for some of us sexually to NOT play with married people!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Been keeping my eye on these threads throughout the day and have just read through them again

There are many reasons for married folk that play away

I’m not trying to justify my playing away, it’s just the way I see it but as they say each to their own.

well said Simone

The judgements made on here are absolutely unreal!

at the end of the day, everyone has their own set of rules/standards and i'm getting sick to death of the slatings people get on here just because they dont fit the ideal

Married couples who play together who are judging cheaters - permission and playing together - what about foresaking all others?

too many double standards and hypocrites!

pin out - i'm sure i'll get a barrage now!

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We're not allowed to ask how long it's going to be quiet for.

Or comment on how we feel about it.

Which is fair."

If ever i'm in court I sincerely hope you are not the judge !!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

pin out - i'm sure i'll get a barrage now!"

That type of sentance always stops any discussion, as it is like goading people not to speak.

Mind you, maybe that is a good thing sometimes

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

naughty I agree, alot of women wont meet married men but a larger amount of men will meet married women as a larger amount dont care as long as they get what they want.

I think women cheating is as bad as men cheating. I would rather everyone cheating to be honest about it and then give people the choice to meet them or not.

Prefer if they all go to another site so them being honest or lying isnt an issue anyomre are everyone is like it.

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

Your marriage is YOUR problem. Shouldn't be brought onto a swingers site in the hope of 'scratching an itch.'

Your sexless marriage is YOUR choice, one that you chose to counter with swinging.

NO woman ever has to stay in a marriage, there is ALWAYS an option. Take it from one who's left two marriages, skint and homeless but kept my kids and my pride.

Just because 'he' is doing the dirty, doesn't mean you should.

At the end of the day, this is a swingers site, not 'marriedandcheating .com'

It is WRONG for both male and female to cheat.

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Madchick your so right, well said xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Been keeping my eye on these threads throughout the day and have just read through them again

There are many reasons for married folk that play away

I’m not trying to justify my playing away, it’s just the way I see it but as they say each to their own.

well said Simone

The judgements made on here are absolutely unreal!

at the end of the day, everyone has their own set of rules/standards and i'm getting sick to death of the slatings people get on here just because they dont fit the ideal

Married couples who play together who are judging cheaters - permission and playing together - what about foresaking all others?

too many double standards and hypocrites!

pin out - i'm sure i'll get a barrage now!"

That's a guilty statment if ever I read one.

Like Jed, I'm guilty sometimes but don't make excuses for it.

It isn't double standards to swear commitment to each other and then extend your sex life to include others because each partner is agreeable to it and in full knowledge of it.

If people are still married and they play WITHOUT partner knowledge....it's wrong.

Not the sex, not any money entailed, not the giggles the cuddles or any kind of fun and laughs... but the fact that they LIE without compunction to someone they don't have the GUTS to leave or to tell the truth to.

Lies........ like dead fish .... stink.

NO EXCUSES.

Oh P.S. If I want sex with someone regardless of their marital state I WILL do it.

I just won't make irrational pleas and comments to explain it or beg forgiveness , which is what in effect those kind of messages and threads are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How is it married men looking for fun are frowned upon--but married women doing the same are ok--and even encouraged ??????????????????"

Actually I think the big difference is that married women don't come to the forums with a "I'm married but have a valid reason" whine thread.

Men, however, do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

pin out - i'm sure i'll get a barrage now!

That type of sentance always stops any discussion, as it is like goading people not to speak.

Mind you, maybe that is a good thing sometimes

i have just watched people being ripped into at times so it's what i am expecting in response. I dont wish to goad anyone, just my experience of some of the forums in here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

P.P.S Im single you see

I'd NEVER cheat on a partner.

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

pin out - i'm sure i'll get a barrage now!

That type of sentance always stops any discussion, as it is like goading people not to speak.

Mind you, maybe that is a good thing sometimes

i have just watched people being ripped into at times so it's what i am expecting in response. I dont wish to goad anyone, just my experience of some of the forums in here"

It's not goading..... surely it's just adult discussion.

Your point is a welcome one x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your marriage is YOUR problem. Shouldn't be brought onto a swingers site in the hope of 'scratching an itch.'

Your sexless marriage is YOUR choice, one that you chose to counter with swinging.

NO woman ever has to stay in a marriage, there is ALWAYS an option. Take it from one who's left two marriages, skint and homeless but kept my kids and my pride.

Just because 'he' is doing the dirty, doesn't mean you should.

At the end of the day, this is a swingers site, not 'marriedandcheating .com'

It is WRONG for both male and female to cheat."

no sorry, i love you to bit _adchick but there isnt always an option

Some time we have to stay in marrages we dont want because we have nowhere else to go, no money, there could be several reasons, now days you cant just up and leave when you have had enough, moving home takes time and lots of money everyone knows that, so sometimes we do have to stay where we are, and for a lot that means in a loveless marrage, untill we are in a possition to go else where

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Been keeping my eye on these threads throughout the day and have just read through them again

There are many reasons for married folk that play away

I’m not trying to justify my playing away, it’s just the way I see it but as they say each to their own.

well said Simone

The judgements made on here are absolutely unreal!

at the end of the day, everyone has their own set of rules/standards and i'm getting sick to death of the slatings people get on here just because they dont fit the ideal

Married couples who play together who are judging cheaters - permission and playing together - what about foresaking all others?

too many double standards and hypocrites!

pin out - i'm sure i'll get a barrage now!

That's a guilty statment if ever I read one.

Like Jed, I'm guilty sometimes but don't make excuses for it.

It isn't double standards to swear commitment to each other and then extend your sex life to include others because each partner is agreeable to it and in full knowledge of it.

If people are still married and they play WITHOUT partner knowledge....it's wrong.

Lies........ like dead fish .... stink.

NO EXCUSES.

Oh P.S. If I want sex with someone regardless of their marital state I WILL do it.

I just won't make irrational pleas and comments to explain it or beg forgiveness , which is what in effect those kind of messages and threads are. "

which part is the guilty statement might I ask, as i'm a single woman so i'm not cheating on anyone. I was in a sexless marriage for a long time (7 years) but did not do anything behind his back

All i'm saying is eveyone has their reasons for being here.

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

pin out - i'm sure i'll get a barrage now!

That type of sentance always stops any discussion, as it is like goading people not to speak.

Mind you, maybe that is a good thing sometimes

i have just watched people being ripped into at times so it's what i am expecting in response. I dont wish to goad anyone, just my experience of some of the forums in here

It's not goading..... surely it's just adult discussion.

Your point is a welcome one x "

Thanks Granny x

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

pin out - i'm sure i'll get a barrage now!

That type of sentance always stops any discussion, as it is like goading people not to speak.

Mind you, maybe that is a good thing sometimes

i have just watched people being ripped into at times so it's what i am expecting in response. I dont wish to goad anyone, just my experience of some of the forums in here"

Yes, just like your post did.

It happens from all sides.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

pin out - i'm sure i'll get a barrage now!

That type of sentance always stops any discussion, as it is like goading people not to speak.

Mind you, maybe that is a good thing sometimes

i have just watched people being ripped into at times so it's what i am expecting in response. I dont wish to goad anyone, just my experience of some of the forums in here

Yes, just like your post did.

It happens from all sides.

touche x i was raising the point of double standards, thats all. i wasn't ripping into anyone

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

I think if a person wanted to get out of a marriage/relationship then there are always options.

There are many charities/organisations I believe that help with people needing to get out of a relationship.

The ones that have the guts to do it do get out. They are amazing people and have been lucky enough to meet some. After everything they have been through they still had the last ounce of energy to get them and their children out.

The ones that sit and do nothing saying they have their reasons will have to judge themselves but when there are options but they choose to ignore them that is their choice.

Some will stay as they dont think they will have enough money/car....to live on. If they really wanted to get out then they would hopefully go to the CAB and other well known agencies and some they will will be put in touch with via the CAB. But if you choose to sit in a loveless/sexless marriage it is because you choose too, not because you have too.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Personally I hate these threads, but thats for a different reason than others.

For us, we might sound like on the fence people over it, but we don't give a toss what other people do in their life, it is up to them.

No one knows what goes on behind closed doors or why married people are on here looking for sex and obviously to some people there isn't any justification in what they are doing. They are allowed that opinion ,just like others are allowed theirs.........

But if it was me playing alone while married, there is no way I would be justifying it to other people that I don't know.

It is your life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quote

But if it was me playing alone while married, there is no way I would be justifying it to other people that I don't know.

Precisely ! Me neither x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How is it married men looking for fun are frowned upon--but married women doing the same are ok--and even encouraged ??????????????????"

Cos men on here are ten a penny so those that meet them can choose not to meet married ones.

Whereas women on here are few and far between and men (the vast majority, not all) been that desperate to shag anything will turn a blind eye to them been married....

Just my opinion of course

Been married myself (with partners permission to play) and been through a crap relationship with my ex-wife I can sympathise with both men and women who use a site like this to get their fun. Possibly better than having a full blown affair.

Steve

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Quote

But if it was me playing alone while married, there is no way I would be justifying it to other people that I don't know.

Precisely ! Me neither x "

And my point too, I don't care if people are on here and cheating, I don't care what they do in thier own private lives, we will not knowingly meet them so it's none of our business, there is a demand for them in the swinging lifestyle, some people seek them out and want to meet them, great.

Why I state my opinion whenever the subject is raised is because so many come on forums to tell us how honest they are and justify what they do.

I like swinging, it's against many peoples morals, religion, beliefs and ways of living thier lives, I don't ask anyone to condone what I do, I just do it quietly with like minded people, I don't run around saying to those who don't approve of it "well at least I am honest" or "I have my reasons and in my mind it is justified so you should think the same as me"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think if a person wanted to get out of a marriage/relationship then there are always options.

There are many charities/organisations I believe that help with people needing to get out of a relationship.

The ones that sit and do nothing saying they have their reasons will have to judge themselves but when there are options but they choose to ignore them that is their choice.

I really dont think the CAB or the council are very sympathetic to people in sexless marrages lol

The way your talking saying

"They are amazing people and have been lucky enough to meet some. After everything they have been through they still had the last ounce of energy to get them and their children out"

your not talking about normal marrages where the love has just gone you come over as talking about abuse etc

Its totally different

If your suffering abuse you'll take anything, even a hostal, if you just unhappy about your sex life your going to hold out for someting better

The CAB and council will help and re home you in certain circumstances but if you went to be re homed on the basis your not happy with your sex life they would just laugh at you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Quote

But if it was me playing alone while married, there is no way I would be justifying it to other people that I don't know.

Precisely ! Me neither x

Why I state my opinion whenever the subject is raised is because so many come on forums to tell us how honest they are and justify what they do.

Couldn't have put it better myself: well said!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have never experienced a man playing away lol

Women I have met who are married do it with full consent and usually have spoken to their partners at some point as well. On occasions the hubby has often joined in later or on another occasion!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this is all getting petty she does he does like i said before its a swinging site why keep moaning and slatting cant we all just have fun married or not single guys or not fems cpls tv we all have our reasons for being here and dont broadcast unless stupid posts like this go up and we do feel the need to put our 2ps worth in.SWING be happy walk by those that annoy u or u dont wanna meet just let it drop and SMILE xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" just concentrate on whats important sexually for you

Erm...isn't that what people are saying?!!

It's important for some of us sexually to NOT play with married people!

I personally think its almost laughable that people who can send messages to others arranging for them to fuck their wife or husband has sooo many high morals about whether people are cheating and whether they took marriage vows or not. If a married person wants to cheat they are hurting their own family.

With thy body I honour you - did any of us really say after this part, yeah and we'll honour the 300 or so swingers we intend to fuck also

I just dont think this is really the site for coming over all moralistic do you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And i also think its wrong when people have made comments about how easy it is to get out of a marriage, or the marital home etc etc - for gods sake dont talk bollox, its not easy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" just concentrate on whats important sexually for you

Erm...isn't that what people are saying?!!

It's important for some of us sexually to NOT play with married people!

With thy body I honour you - did any of us really say after this part, yeah and we'll honour the 300 or so swingers we intend to fuck also

I just dont think this is really the site for coming over all moralistic do you?

Clearly some of us do. I think that morally being a paedophile is wrong, but I suppose if you don't think swingers are entitled to morals of any sort then we should all support them and not think that what they do is wrong

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By *omer47Man
over a year ago

leigh

this seems to be a very popular subject.

as to the answer though.....if the married,or attached men want to play away\find something else etc etc,why should other people say weather they should,or should not have just as much fun as anyone else.its not as though a relationship is wanted by the male or female that wants extra fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"this seems to be a very popular subject.

I agree!

What married men do is NO concern of mine, however I chose NOT to play with married men: it says so quite clearly on my profile, therefore married men who choose to ignore MY wishes get short thrift from me. It would NEVER cross my mind to contact a married man and slag him off, if he contacts ME then too bloody right I will!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

IMHO, it depends how much you care about hurting other people.

I would not want to play with a married gent or one in a significant relationship, as I do not wish to be called a home-wrecker again, ever.

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

I was saying that is a person wants to get out of a relationship there are people that can help. That is if they choose to get out. I expect man will stay in the relationship as it is easier to wait til the kids are older...to not rock the boat.

I think if a person is in a sexless marriage and wants to get out they will find a way to do it. People that do stay in the relationship choose too. People that decide to get out will try to do.

It seems lots of people in sexless marriages(and I know some of them) have chosen to stay and wait til the kids are older,and dont want to rock the boat, or lots of other reasons that they state for staying. But those choose to do that. They are not forced to stay. Being forced to stay is a different matter entirely.

I am talking about the ones that choose to stay.

I make my own choices now and have done for some time.

If I was in a sexless marriage I hope I would have the bottle to get out.

So many people on here choose to stay,they are not forced to, but choose to.

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

"this seems to be a very popular subject.

Why dont the go to a site then where you/they are welcomed and everyone is doing the same. On this site homer(sorry to be personal)there are lots of people who choose to not meet attatched people. So whay be on this site where lots of people have very strong opinions. Why not go to a site for married and cheating people. Why come on this site and be honest with us(but not with your partner) and then be surprised when people get annoyed or upset when they find out the guy they just met who told them they are single is actually married or attatched.

Are you or others surprised?

Apologies for directing this direct to you as I really do mean anyone who thinks there is nout wrong with it xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your in a sexless marriage but still in love, is it a reason to end a marriage, is not a larger part of that marriage companionship, affection, cuddles, sharing a workload, satisfaction of maintaining a family environment and much more ?

Many people live a sexless lifestyle, some put up with it on a daily basis, if they can do it why can't married people do it ?

Is "I don't get any sex" a valid excuse for seeking sex elsewhere ?

I would understand more if someone sought affection elsewhere, a cuddle, holding hands, the pleasure of doing something for someone else, the pleasure of having things done for you.

There are a lot of single people on this site who are unsuccessfull in finding sex, I assume they masturbate regularly. So, they are not getting any sex, is that so important that we would condone it if they raped someone ?

Or do we expect them to put up with the situation until they resolve the problem, we watch them on sites like this in the knowledge that they are trying to get sex but not doing anything we consider wrong in the meantime.

Is it wrong to expect people in sexless relationships to have the same patience, to do something about it within that relationship, perhaps work to make the relationship better so that they both want sex together again ?

Why is not getting sex a reasonable excuse ?

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

" just concentrate on whats important sexually for you

Erm...isn't that what people are saying?!!

It's important for some of us sexually to NOT play with married people!

With thy body I honour you - did any of us really say after this part, yeah and we'll honour the 300 or so swingers we intend to fuck also

I just dont think this is really the site for coming over all moralistic do you?

cheat (cht)

v. cheat·ed, cheat·ing, cheats

v.tr.

1. To deceive by trickery; swindle: cheated customers by overcharging them for purchases.

2. To deprive by trickery; defraud: cheated them of their land.

3. To mislead; fool: illusions that cheat the eye.

4. To elude; escape: cheat death.

v.intr.

well first HUGE difference is theres no deceit and dishonesty!!!! if a married cpl decide to play on their own as well as a cpl then aslong as its with each others full knowledge then where exactly is the harm??? where as a married person cheating theres the hurt and emotional fall out when they eventually get discovered ( and you know they will !!!) . thens theres the sneeking about trying to sort a quick fumble when the partners out the way . cpls who are honest about playing on their own dont have to do that! they can arrange relaxed quality time with their meet . i sure know which i perfer lol !!!

if its sounding moralistic well thats because it is !! since when has society condoned lieing???? and no im not talking about the lil white lie "of course ur bum doesnt look big dear !" ect . im talking about the blatent life damaging ones . so butter it up, sugar coat it and try and justify and make it more palatable any way you want but a cheat is a cheat what ever excuse they make for it!

as for the ones bleating about being stuck being married ......RUBBISH !!!

they chose to get mariied ,and they are choosing to stay in that situation ! anyone who REALLY doesnt want to stay married DONT .

"i have to stay for the kids " .... sorry but kids are better off with two happy parents that have separtated,than unhappy ones! they hear the arguments ,they pick up on the atmospheres . dont be naive to think kids dont as i can tell you from my own childhood they do !

" cant leave because of the house and financial situation!".... yes difficult but not impossible !!! there are meny people who still separate and divorce in same situation ! also alot more who dispite the money difficulties will leave their partner as its still better situation than being in an unhappy marrige !

im afraid most people cheating in their marrige have not intention of leaving their partner ! they either are far too comfortable with their life style or situation isnt as they make out .

at end of the day if partner caught them cheating and kicked em out theyd HAVE to cope with those difficulties and get on with it !

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"this seems to be a very popular subject.

Who said married people are not welcome on this site?

Not everyone thinks the same, so wether people have strong opinions on the subject or not, there are people who do play with marrieds. It is their choice, just like it is your choice not to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think its wrong on both parts xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" just concentrate on whats important sexually for you

Erm...isn't that what people are saying?!!

It's important for some of us sexually to NOT play with married people!

With thy body I honour you - did any of us really say after this part, yeah and we'll honour the 300 or so swingers we intend to fuck also

I just dont think this is really the site for coming over all moralistic do you?

cheat (cht)

v. cheat·ed, cheat·ing, cheats

v.tr.

1. To deceive by trickery; swindle: cheated customers by overcharging them for purchases.

2. To deprive by trickery; defraud: cheated them of their land.

3. To mislead; fool: illusions that cheat the eye.

4. To elude; escape: cheat death.

v.intr.

as for the ones bleating about being stuck being married ......RUBBISH !!!

they chose to get mariied ,and they are choosing to stay in that situation ! anyone who REALLY doesnt want to stay married DONT .

im afraid most people cheating in their marrige have not intention of leaving their partner ! they either are far too comfortable with their life style or situation isnt as they make out .

at end of the day if partner caught them cheating and kicked em out theyd HAVE to cope with those difficulties and get on with it ! "

At last someone who mentions the kids, even if its not in the context i was thinking of, but i was beginning to think we are the forgotten ones!!! All those idiots that cheat on their partners seem to forget that children know and sense something is not right with their parents yet cheaters dont care do they? I know ive been there, a mother who was cheating on her husband, my dad, do you selfish thoughtless uncaring people actually give a toss? No i dont think you do, your only thought is yourself. I seem to remember a line in the marriage vows is "forsake all others" which does not mean, "i will cheat on my partner as i aint giving up my single life". Yes maybe that is a different married cheater, the serial cheater, not the one many years into their marriage that suddenly finds their partner is cheating so retaliate with tit for tat. But im not forgetting the married guys who is looking for a bit of fun and any woman that will drop her knickers for anyone, those without any morals, sorry but i have morals, i wont play with a married person unless its with their partner, ive no interest whatsover in assisting someone to cheat on their partner, ive more respect for myself and their wife, something they dont have.

Like i said, its not much fun being caught in the middle, the hurt my dad felt, the fact that my slut of a mother flaunted the boyfriend in front of him, then having left him for this man, she had the bloody cheek to ring him at work to discuss the problems she was having with him!!! Lets not also forget that this new partner preferred me to her, so please dont come on here to gain sympathy as your marriage is in trouble or stale, go find a cheaters website as thats where you should be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't understand why it is anybody's business to judge anybody else for their reasons to be on the site or in the scene.

For one, unless you choose specifically that you do or do not want to play with married / attached people it really is irrelevant in the swing scene. I understand that some dont want to be piggy in the middle - we would not either. That aside... see above.

The other thing that puzzles me is that we are so ready to judge others on one manifestation of their humanity, e.g. swinging behind their partner's back (well, that is often the assumption) - I would argue that we rarely know the whole story and from that stance I personally would refrain from judging anybody. I do understand though that if we experience a marriage break up in our parents associated with unfaithfulness that this is likely to make us sad and hurt and this possibly leads to judging others?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't understand why it is anybody's business to judge anybody else for their reasons to be on the site or in the scene.

You are quite right, i shouldnt judge, just being piggy in the middle was hard work, and seeing people say their reasons for cheating, like the tit for tat for instance, if my mother is telling the truth that my dad cheated on her, she then did the same, still wrong either way. Whatever reason people feel the need to cheat for, doesnt make it right. Kind of put me off marriage though

On another point, the fact that sex with my kids dad was boring, was to me, not enough reason to cheat on him, though funnily enough he cheated on me with a neighbour, perhaps some have morals and others dont, or perhaps it was because he was a d*unken bully and i was too afraid to cheat nor speak out on what he was doing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you honestly trying to tell me that you think of paedophiles in the same way as a married person cheating! All this talk about the emotional fall out, the stress it causes, the pain to the kids when marrieds are found out, yes there is all that, but that is their pain, it isnt yours, its nothing to do with you. We all cant take on the worlds problems can we. People are going to lie about it anyway, you will never know.

Come on Jed, you used to work at Chams, are you honestly telling me that when you worked there, you were questioning every single bloke in there, ascertaining whether or not they were married, did you ask to see their decree absolutes, no of course not. I dont know your swinging circumstances but if youve swung at Chams, my bet is that youve been with a married guy at some point(in a couple scenario I want to stress)

People will never know the truth of someones relationship, why waste your breath wanting to know.

As for the comment about lets not forget the kids, how they will be affected - does everyone on this site tell their kids then that they go and fuck strangers for fun? would it hurt your kids to know that, or would they be ok with it - I know mine would be devastated.

We all keep certain things from our kids, our families etc etc, as swinging does hurt people. It may not hurt your partner, you may be a couple doing this, but it sure as hell would hurt the kids and your employers wouldnt _iew it in the same way, or your family, or your mum and dad - so what im saying is, if people are married, give them a break and stop coming over all Mother Theresa (theres a rather bad pun there im afraid) cos we all have secrets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I quite agree with you there, if one aspect of an overall relationship happens to be less than satisfactory and it cannot be resolved, it would not necessarily be a reason for me to leave a partner I love, either. Or, as you said, if one feels afraid, bullied or worried about the consequences .. that is another reason, isnt it...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No it is not me comparing paedophiles to cheating, it is those who believe that as swingers we are not entitled to morals.

60% of single males at Chameleons are married or in relationships and there without thier partners consent, that is why 60% of single male membership cards are kept in reception so they are not found by partners at home. As I have said a number of times, I don't care if they are cheating, it's none of my business, what I have said is I am against them moaning about people not liking the idea and opening threads here to try and justify it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" just concentrate on whats important sexually for you

Erm...isn't that what people are saying?!!

It's important for some of us sexually to NOT play with married people!

With thy body I honour you - did any of us really say after this part, yeah and we'll honour the 300 or so swingers we intend to fuck also

I just dont think this is really the site for coming over all moralistic do you?

cheat (cht)

v. cheat·ed, cheat·ing, cheats

v.tr.

1. To deceive by trickery; swindle: cheated customers by overcharging them for purchases.

2. To deprive by trickery; defraud: cheated them of their land.

3. To mislead; fool: illusions that cheat the eye.

4. To elude; escape: cheat death.

v.intr.

as for the ones bleating about being stuck being married ......RUBBISH !!!

they chose to get mariied ,and they are choosing to stay in that situation ! anyone who REALLY doesnt want to stay married DONT .

im afraid most people cheating in their marrige have not intention of leaving their partner ! they either are far too comfortable with their life style or situation isnt as they make out .

at end of the day if partner caught them cheating and kicked em out theyd HAVE to cope with those difficulties and get on with it !

I have to reiterate: I don't care if married people are here or not. I don't think about their partners or children truth be told. I'm here for my own hedonistic pleasure with men that can dedicate the time, be it a few hours, overnight or a weekend to making me happy.

A married man cannot do that so I don't want him. It's the pests that won't take no for an answer or whine about not getting meets that make me shake my head in annoyance!

It comes to something when married people can exercise their preference to cheat but get arsey when you decline the offer to help them clear their tubes as they're not getting it at home!

C'est la vie!

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

sorry but had to laugh at the comment compairing the effect cheating has on a family to that of swinging ! would we tell our children we swing ...no of course not and i wouldnt discuss our normal sex life with em either lol .thats our own private life and i stress private ! is swinging having a negative impact on mine and my husbands relationship or our family ... absolutly no . if for one second it was causing any issue with in my relationship then i would be gone from here and you wouldnt see my arse for dust !! my husband and my family are my priority .this is not in slightest the case for the people cheating on here . their partners and children may not continuously know ,but i can garentee they pick up on the negative vibes ,the mistrust ,dishonesty ,hurt ect. so the two cant be compaired as poles apart !

are we being judgemental or are we just calling it how it is ?people often dont like the cold harshness of truth .

married cpls swinging with each others consent arent harming anyone ,people cheating im afraid are ! it doesnt matter how they try and justify it . lies and dishonesty are only going lead to a car crash situation. i personally dont wanna be anywhere near when the fall out comes . also as weve heard some of the cheats arent only lieing to their partners they are lieing to others on here pretending to be single !! come on you going to tell me thats justified in any way ?? dragging unsuspecting people into a volitile situation like that is out of order .or is that me being too judgemental again??? lol !!!

if anyone cheating is exspecting sympathy from me or from most on here then sorry they are on to plums ! we aint here to just tell you what you wanna hear and sooth your conscience. what you do is your own choice as i said before ,as i choose not to play in that situation. just dont be shocked if people tell you its not right lol ! something the cheats themselves know but obviously hard to hear .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gave upreading this thread as it really did get petty. p4u is right. honestly does it matter what status you are or say you are? this is a swinging site so as long as both or more parties are consenting adults then thats all that matters. i am in a sexless cpl but does that matter?i meet as a tv and she doesnt.

"this is all getting petty she does he does like i said before its a swinging site why keep moaning and slatting cant we all just have fun married or not single guys or not fems cpls tv we all have our reasons for being here and dont broadcast unless stupid posts like this go up and we do feel the need to put our 2ps worth in.SWING be happy walk by those that annoy u or u dont wanna meet just let it drop and SMILE xxx"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

honestly YES it does matter to some of us, that's what gets up peoples noses, do what you want, we keep saying that, but don't expect everyone to like it, put in your profile that your in a relationship and here without your partners consent and let each person make thier own minds up wether or not to be involved in the deception, stop treating us like you treat your partner, hiding swinging from your partner, hiding your partner from swinging.

For those who already do admit it, get on with your lives and enjoy swinging with those who are happy with the situation and stop opening posts to try and justify what you do, stop moaning about not getting meets just because your in a relationship and cheating, stop ramming it down our throats that it's ok to do it and we will stop talking about it too.

Stop trying to tell us we are hypocrits for being swingers yet having morals about other things.

Why can you not accept that some of us do have moral issues with it, some of us do not agree with it, as we accept you and those that choose to do it with you ?

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

amen to that !!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do agree that so long as everyones a consenting adult thats all that matters

Its the none consenting wife sat at home looking after the kids while her hubbys out 'playing snooker with his mate' i have problems with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the best thing about swinging is that people accept you for who you are and what you like, straight or bi, fat or thin and married or single. As long as you are honest then its the decision of concenting parties as to what goes on. If you dont agree to married poeple playing behind partners back say so on your profile, its no differant to someone writing no cocks under 8inches, no big women, coloured guys only and so on..... fabswingers is a site where people of all types come to play and make friends!!!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"honestly YES it does matter to some of us, that's what gets up peoples noses, do what you want, we keep saying that, but don't expect everyone to like it, put in your profile that your in a relationship and here without your partners consent and let each person make thier own minds up wether or not to be involved in the deception, stop treating us like you treat your partner, hiding swinging from your partner, hiding your partner from swinging.

The best thing to do about threads you don't like reading, is don't open them once you have realised it isn't a subject you like.....then no one has to complain about what people have decided to start a thread on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just think people are too quick to slate someone and give their _iew on how terrible it is to cheat, whilst doing something which society frowns upon.

Just because someone doesnt fit into the idealist scenario does not mean that they have to be slated on here and called disgusting and what not, when none of us are any better. We cant say 100% hand on heart that we havent shagged a married person, maybe unbeknownst to us, but a lot of us have. Ive been to swinging clubs, ive probably given a married man a blowjob, who knows.

I think people having fake profiles is wrong, a single guy having a couples profile and then saying, ooo the wifes ill, she cant play, yeah that wrong. But if someone is married and they put that on their profile, then lets appreciate that, and not slate them on here.

there are a lot of things i dont like on peoples profiles, i wouldnt indulge in DP or DVP, I am totally against BDSM, to me a man who hits a woman, regardless of whether she wants it, is sadistic but there are many who would, i dont come on here slating them for it just because I dont agree with it

I do however

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"the best thing about swinging is that people accept you for who you are and what you like, straight or bi, fat or thin and married or single. As long as you are honest then its the decision of concenting parties as to what goes on. If you dont agree to married poeple playing behind partners back say so on your profile, its no differant to someone writing no cocks under 8inches, no big women, coloured guys only and so on..... fabswingers is a site where people of all types come to play and make friends!!!"

Well said, Iam afraid people are far to quick to judge others without knowing all the details, at the end of the day if you dont agree with them just block them, problem solved

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why should anyone care? This is recreational sex!! We have no right to judge others!! If you want to judge people go to church!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I want to say that the "I do however" shouldnt be in my last post, i obviously deleted a sentence and didnt delete it all, and i cant get rid of it now

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Why should anyone care? This is recreational sex!! We have no right to judge others!! If you want to judge people go to church!!!"

Quite right!

And i look forward to you being just as understanding when you come home from work and find me hanging out the back of your wife.

After all, it's just a bit of fun.

Doesnt mean anything.

Or does it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just think people are too quick to slate someone and give their _iew on how terrible it is to cheat, whilst doing something which society frowns upon.

"Again, I am a swinger so not allowed to have _iews on anything with a moral issue anymore, I have obviously given up all rights to that now"

"But I do like threads which allow everyone to discuss thier _iews on a subject, I have expressed my _iews, others have expressed contrary _iews, all in a responsible manner, a good debate"

If you dont agree to married poeple playing behind partners back say so on your profile

"Good idea in a real world and works with those that admit they are doing it behind a partners back but most don't, it is highly unlikely that they will admit to it in a contact mail if they don't admit to it on thier profile"

Well said, Iam afraid people are far to quick to judge others without knowing all the details, at the end of the day if you dont agree with them just block them, problem solved

"Personally I only want to know one detail, are you cheating on a partner, if the answer is yes I hit the block button, nothing they can say to me will make me think it's ok to meet them"

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

dont need to know details lol ! cheats can try and justify what they are doing any way they want but dishonesty is wrong! its exactly that dishonesty that people have a problem with for all reason through out thread!

weather its person on here or if was a friend or someone i worked with theyd STILL get same reaction. going behind your partners back and cheating is wrong ! shows lack of respect for not only for your partner but your relationship. get a spine and put the energies they use to cheat and put it in to working on their issues or flamin do the decent thing and call it a day ! just dont get others involved in your mess or exspect them to agree with what youre doing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just think people are too quick to slate someone and give their _iew on how terrible it is to cheat, whilst doing something which society frowns upon.

"Again, I am a swinger so not allowed to have _iews on anything with a moral issue anymore, I have obviously given up all rights to that now"

"But I do like threads which allow everyone to discuss thier _iews on a subject, I have expressed my _iews, others have expressed contrary _iews, all in a responsible manner, a good debate"

If you dont agree to married poeple playing behind partners back say so on your profile

Well said, Iam afraid people are far to quick to judge others without knowing all the details, at the end of the day if you dont agree with them just block them, problem solved

"Personally I only want to know one detail, are you cheating on a partner, if the answer is yes I hit the block button, nothing they can say to me will make me think it's ok to meet them""

Thats your choice, but by blocking all married single people your not getting the chance to know their reasons. I could be wrong here but I read somewhere on here that you are married, so if people followed your example you would be blocked aswell

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"But I do like threads which allow everyone to discuss thier _iews on a subject, I have expressed my _iews, others have expressed contrary _iews, all in a responsible manner, a good debate"

" ""

In which case maybe don't tell people not to start threads with what THEY want to start it on.

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By *ortheastcoupleukCouple
over a year ago

easington were the sun dont shine

"PS although he didn't ask for a loaf

"
bet he was his mothers pride

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

I agree with what your saying,but it has a major flaw. It is very easy to spot when a man had lied about the fact he has a 10" cock and he walks in and at most it erects to 5". A man has that he is 6 foot but is actually 5foot. But if he says he is single you have no way of knowing is he is being thruthful. The others it is very clear to see they are lying.

It makes no difference if you write no married people on your profile as the married ones lying and cheating on the person they are supposed to love most(the wife)have no problems lying to you too!! You stating no married people on your profile makes no difference to a large amount. Yes I am sure to some it does make a difference(well I try to think that).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In which case maybe don't tell people not to start threads with what THEY want to start it on."

A fair point but I have no objection to posts discussing cheating ie "I am married but my wife doesn't know I am on here does that mean I won't get as many meets" or "Do people think it's right or wrong to be on a swingers site without thier partners knowledge" - these subjects bring about healthy non-abusive debate, I don't like threads where people complain about people disagreeing with what they do whatever it is they do, the "Why do people block me just because I am in a relationship and my partner doesn't know I am on here" style of thread.

Yes I am married, My wife does know I am on here and probably doesn't approve of the site but couldn't give a toss what I do, we haven't seen each other or spoken for more than twelve years, we are not in any form of relationship, if people choose to block/refuse to meet me for that reason I will understand and respect thier _iews, I certainly won't try to "plead my case".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In which case maybe don't tell people not to start threads with what THEY want to start it on.

Again thats fair enough, and iam sure once people are made aware of your circumstances then they will undertand , however you said you just blocked anyone who is cheating on their partner (which technically you are) which Iam quite surprised at due to you being in the same situation

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

That I agree with Jed, we wouldn't try and force ourselves on anyone either.......but we are not all the same, and if it is a turn off to see people write things I don't like then I just avoid them.

One of the things that spoils a good debate is telling people to bugger off to another site as this isn't for you ( I can't remember who said go somewhere else but I think it was a couple of people) but the only people who decide who is welcome on this site is Admin, not members just because they don't like what some people do.

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

If you havent seen her for 12 years then think you can call it that your not married as people read the word married as in currently with your wife.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I would say that was totally different Mancandy, if you read what Jed put, he isn't in a relationship with his ex, and hasn't been for a long time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you havent seen her for 12 years then think you can call it that your not married as people read the word married as in currently with your wife. "

Good point, tbh i was being a bit pedantic, i was just trying to emphasize that you shouldnt judge people till you know I bit about them

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

pedantric is a long word when feeling poorly lol. But know aht you mean x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I certainly never said that people who are cheating in a relationship should not be on the site, to the contrary I have pointed out that some people actually seek those in that situation and given some reasons as to why they do, but your right someone did say it recently.

Others have said that people who do want to cheat might have better results and less negative comments if they used one of the many "married and cheating" sites but it still boils down to personal choice for that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OOOOOOOOOO, Tough one that.and there isnt a strait answer fo it we dont think. Both male and the female will come up with an excuse or reason to do what they do and feel that morally, there isnt an issue they will say he or she has done this or that, in the past,present or crystal ball time, the future.Pointing out that, thats why im doing the doo.

If ya gonna cheat and be dishonest when your married and have to sneak around and lie,why stay in that relationship? Just do one and save all the stresses after the fuckfest of the night before. No lies,no sneaking round and fuck whoever you please clear concience and all. Avin said that there obviously will be some who get off on all the above for maybe a sweet tasting revenge of sorts soooooooo, Oh fuck it,weva its the bad press us alledgedly scum like men get that do it, or the angelice cum wouldnt melt in their mouths woman cheating,its still wrong and im gonna tell on ya.neh ne ne neh neh....We dont judge, but him upstairs so does,so guessin its hellfire and genital rott punishment all round then...lol.

Each to there own really, who cares when it feels so good eh..Oh,quite a lot of people care it seems so be good......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok i'm one of those married and playing away people and ive never seen such a good discusion,the reason which i'm sure has been said earlier why i'm on here is that after 12yrs of happy marriage and must say still very happy marriage is that my partner who's only 40yrs old just isnt interested in sex anymore which for the last couple of years hasn't bothered me that much in the hope that one day she will change but what am i supposed to do i still have my needs,i'm too young to pack in sex at my age and if it keeps my marriage together until a time when she feels that she would like to start again i can't see another way around it .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok i'm one of those married and playing away people and ive never seen such a good discusion,the reason which i'm sure has been said earlier why i'm on here is that after 12yrs of happy marriage and must say still very happy marriage is that my partner who's only 40yrs old just isnt interested in sex anymore which for the last couple of years hasn't bothered me that much in the hope that one day she will change but what am i supposed to do i still have my needs,i'm too young to pack in sex at my age and if it keeps my marriage together until a time when she feels that she would like to start again i can't see another way around it ."

so did you remove "forsake all others" from your marriage vow then? If she never feels the need for sex again, then what are you going to do? Quite frankly the "i have needs" excuse isnt going to work forever is it? Whatever reason, if she doesnt know what you are doing, its still cheating, perhaps you could tell her, that way when you meet someone, you can arrange for them to talk to her and that makes it perfectly alright

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/09/10 10:27:47]

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Blue I am sure you have justified it to yourself and will have an answer for everything.

I guess as long as your happy and your needs met then thats fine? I guess your wife doesnt have needs as in a husband that is honest with her.

May I suggest you give her number to a few of the very lovely sexy single(the real single men) and they will go and amaybe change your wifes opinion on sex with a very sensual time and am sure with care and attention to her needs she will soon be loving sex again.

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

People often speak wih their heart on emotive subjects like this as I did. I hope I havent caused any offence but people cheating on their partners will cause many many people to speak with their hearts as I do.

The forums are for peoples words and opinions on subjects. Many people will have very strong opinions.

I guess no one is right and no one wrong but expect as long as peoples concineces are happy then they will carry on doing whatever they like.

Some will justify it and some wont bother. But dont be surprised when it is questioned.

I do hope that all the people out their cheating on partners are their own judge and jury.

I wonder what the forums are like on married and cheating siting that I beleive are around. Wonder what their subjects dicussed in the forums lol.

Maybe they go on about us damn swingers lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Over the past few years, due to changes to personal circumstances, I have learnt to be less judgemental when it comes to affairs of the heart.

I have ruined 2 marriages by not being able to resist the charm of a married gentleman, and made him an offer he could not refuse.

I was labelled a home-wrecker by my ex-hubby's family as well as my late partner's family.

I sent my ex-hubby to an emotional darkness that he still suffers anxiety attackes and has suicidal thoughts when he is low.

I do not have many regrets, however, hurting my ex-hubby is the one regret I will never be able to forgive myself.

Hence I made the decision not to knowingly get involved with anyone who is married or in a significant relationship.

I had a dilema recently when I was contacted by the hubby of a colleague on FAB, with the offer to play.

I have no proof that he has played away from home physically, however, judging by his profile at the time, he was not lacking in female friends on FAB, so the intention to play away was obvious and intentional, to me at least.

I am sure he has his reasons to play behind her back. However, she has no idea he is on FAB, and is oblivious to any potential issues.

I could not stand back and did nothing, out of loyalty to my colleague whom I get on well. Hence I made him aware that I knew who he was etc...

I guess he saw sense, and deleted his profile after a few messages were exchanged.

Judging by the contents of some of his messages, it was clear to me that he did not see it as being wrong.

It pains me that he is probably still seeking extra-marital fun behind her back elsewhere, and she is oblivious to his wandering eyes etc...

However, it is not my place or business to interfere any further.

All I can do now is to be there for her when the sh1t starts to hit the fan.

I live in hope that he sees sense and decides to work on his marriage to address the issues, as I really hate to see anyone getting hurt, and they have 2 young adorable children!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People often speak wih their heart on emotive subjects like this as I did. I hope I havent caused any offence but people cheating on their partners will cause many many people to speak with their hearts as I do.

The forums are for peoples words and opinions on subjects. Many people will have very strong opinions.

I guess no one is right and no one wrong but expect as long as peoples concineces are happy then they will carry on doing whatever they like.

Some will justify it and some wont bother. But dont be surprised when it is questioned.

I do hope that all the people out their cheating on partners are their own judge and jury.

I wonder what the forums are like on married and cheating siting that I beleive are around. Wonder what their subjects dicussed in the forums lol.

Maybe they go on about us damn swingers lol."

Probably the best post on this thread, I don't know what they discuss on "Married and Cheating" forums, I do know that some of those sites ban Swingers from being members

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

as i said previously maybe you should be putting your energies into your marrrige not in to serching for a qucik outlet on here ! maybe try putting her first and not your needs . there could be meny reasons why shes gone off sex from medical issues to psychological ones ! could be that shes not getting anything out of sex !!! or shes picked up that your attentions are else where .

can you honestly hold your hands up and say you have done ABSOLUTLY EVERYTHING you can and exhausted every avenue to sort this issue ???? if you both have then you should have reached a comprimise .she cant exspect you have no sex for the rest of your marrige ,like wise you cant exspect sex everytime you may feel horny! theres got to be a middle ground . if youve both done everything possible and shes still uninterested in sex maybe time to call it a day ! this isnt just for you, same for any person playing away from home !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" this isnt just for you, same for any person playing away from home !"

but what happens if the two of you can't afford to "go their separate ways" ? am I just supposed to stay loyal to someone who doesn't love me anymore, doesn't want sex but won't separate?

Not asking anyone to judge me, just understand my situation.

I can't fault anyone for not wanting to break something up, I wouldn't want to either, but some of us are in situations beyond our control and just want some company with maybe some sex aswell. Is that wrong?

If it is, then I'm obviously in the wrong place and will leave but, if just one person welcomes me, then I'm going to stay and hope.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think there are many reasons for people to cheat, not all of them are obvious and not all of them are totally selfish.

There are actually women out there, beleive it or not, who would rather their partner go out and have sex with other women and not 'trouble them' with the business, they just do not enjoy sex at all, but do not want to lose their husbads either. It is an unsaid agreement between the two usually, she doesnt ask, he doesn't admit to it.

My aunt and uncle are of this type, For years she was on the swinging scene as their sex life was not satisfactory for them, he knew about it and it hurt him but he loved her too much to try stop her. she then got cancer and the chemo put her off sex completely. she is clear now, but either her confidence was knocked or it has just done away with her libido because she has no interest

Despite all that went on, he still loves her and would not dream of leaving her and has decided, therefore, to embark on an affair.

Some family members know about it, but his wife does not. Despite the fact she flaunted her activities to him, he does not wish to hurt her by doing the same thing.

If you saw them together, you would see a happy couple. I have never seen them look so happy, so in love and so attentive towards each others needs as they do now.

I'm not saying that it is morally correct, but I think the alternative would be that they would eventually be so unhappy in their mariage, they would have split. the family have accepted what he is doing, if he had left her for this, he would have been ousted for neglecting her in her time of need.

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

Swinging won't keep your marriage together.

When she finds out (and believe me, she will find out)it will totally destroy your marriage.

If she isn't interested in sex, have you asked yourself why?

Has she gone off sex or gone off YOU.

Either way, to use a swinging site to cheat (because, lets be honest, cheating on a partner can in NO way be labelled as swinging) is deplorable.

I trust that when she does find out, you get everything you deserve and more because your pathetic justification of your cheating will leave her humiliated and racked with guilt, it will also stop her trusting for a very long time.

If you are prepared to do that to the person you say you are still happily married to........ then you are no man.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You could do what many single guys and single women do and go without sex ?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

This is just going round and round in circles now with every married person turning up probably feeling like they are being subjected to a Relate session.

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By *andyTrucker59Man
over a year ago

north east

Reading through many profiles, you see "Won't meet married men".Or No single men". What's the difference if playing on your own. Why should someone be made to feel letting partner down cos they are not playing with partner as a couple, or second class. We all have our reasons for being on this site.

Why not have a new category of "Married, but playing alone". If listed on site for readers to _iew, you know their status beforehand. Likewise Addy can say "Will/will not meet married playing away".

At least you not waste time chancing your arm then get rejected, and addy not get abusive replies back from someone just been rejected.

Problem solved. Or is it??

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