FabSwingers.com forum: Is it just us.....??

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Good afternoon all, would just like to start by saying hello to all our fellow swingers out there... it maybe a small world but all you sexy peeps make it a very fun place to be..

We begin! Is it just us or have any other of you had meets spoilt by the other couple arguing?!

We have had this on a couple of occassions now, in one example the lady actually ran out of the pub crying after hitting her fella... not quite the night we had in mind and made especially awkward as we were staying at theirs!

As we mentioned before we have experienced this a couple of times now, is it a common occorance or 'is it just us' been unlucky? or maybe is it just the effects of one to many beers?

This is supposed to be fun, we all go out with the excitement of knowing what may be around the corner and this kinda behaviour just puts a big downer on the evening, especially when you've spent all week looking forward to it... soooo frustrating!

So has this happened to many of you guys, have you had any disaster meets which you would like to share with us all....??

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Good afternoon all, would just like to start by saying hello to all our fellow swingers out there... it maybe a small world but all you sexy peeps make it a very fun place to be..

We begin! Is it just us or have any other of you had meets spoilt by the other couple arguing?!

As we mentioned before we have experienced this a couple of times now, is it a common occorance or 'is it just us' been unlucky? or maybe is it just the effects of one to many beers?

So has this happened to many of you guys, have you had any disaster meets which you would like to share with us all....??"

If you've had it a couple of times, it must be something you're doing!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

mmmm... not the answer we were hoping for!

Then again when we think of the number of meets we have had the number of 'bad ones' is a small percentage... isnt this to be expected... life doesnt always go to plan does it?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol something simular happened to us a few years ago.

The husband was in our kitchen talking to me while i made some drinks and Paul was in living room chatting to the wife,she came in kitchen started screaming at her fella saying we were talking about her,hit him then went for me,can laugh about it now but at the time it was scary.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"mmmm... not the answer we were hoping for!

Then again when we think of the number of meets we have had the number of 'bad ones' is a small percentage... isnt this to be expected... life doesnt always go to plan does it?! "

think you may have just answered your own question

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I guess we were really after some of your 'disaster meet' stories to make us feel better... lol

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"I guess we were really after some of your 'disaster meet' stories to make us feel better... lol

I met Dances Alone, it was a disaster, but i'm not allowed to tell you about it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you speak to both parties prior to meeting to ensure everyone is comfortable with the meet?

Do you meet socially prior to playing?

How do you select your playmates?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

In the latest example we had met the couple in question a number of times before, was totally unexpected so i dont think its our selection policy at fault!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you speak to both parties prior to meeting to ensure everyone is comfortable with the meet?

Do you meet socially prior to playing?

How do you select your playmates?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I guess we were really after some of your 'disaster meet' stories to make us feel better... lol

I met Dances Alone, it was a disaster, but i'm not allowed to tell you about it!

you really need to stop feeling bad about that, it happens to men all the time....apparently

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once met a couple and went to a hotel room. She was a little full on with my fella all night & looking back I should've called time on it before we all got naked. However, they went straight into a straight swap rather than us all playing together (which was our preferance) but when it came time for my bloke to 'do' her she threw the condom across the room and told him to fetch.

If anyone has ever come across my ex, 'S' (he is on here too) they will know that he does not fetch for anyone lol

They ended up arguing! So her fella climbed off me, rolled his eyes, made his apologies and they left, her shouting a few choice words at me, still laid starkers on the bed in complete shock! Horrible!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Once met a couple and went to a hotel room. She was a little full on with my fella all night & looking back I should've called time on it before we all got naked. However, they went straight into a straight swap rather than us all playing together (which was our preferance) but when it came time for my bloke to 'do' her she threw the condom across the room and told him to fetch.

If anyone has ever come across my ex, 'S' (he is on here too) they will know that he does not fetch for anyone lol

so have we got any more stories out there... maybe we could give a prize for the best.. how about a horny night to make up?? lol

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"I guess we were really after some of your 'disaster meet' stories to make us feel better... lol

I met Dances Alone, it was a disaster, but i'm not allowed to tell you about it!

you really need to stop feeling bad about that, it happens to men all the time....apparently"

But to be fair, had you mentioned your elephantitus of the clitorus before stripping, i may not have fainted from the horrendous nose bleed the shock brought on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe its just the added tention when some couples play just the smallest thing sets them off ?

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"Maybe its just the added tention when some couples play just the smallest thing sets them off ?"

Or maybe having a small thing sets them off?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

nope your not alone.had a guy beat his wife up in our home on our first ever cpl meet.......disaaster it was too lol xxxx

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

We were at a couples house and getting down to it......

Thought something was odd as the other hubby didn't seem particularly interested but I put it down to nerves.

Jason was having a grand old time and shagging the wife for all his worth, when the other hubby burst into tears on me and told me that she'd threatened to leave him if they didn't swing.

Luckily, I very rarely drink so was ok to make a very sharp exit and drive home!

I've got loads more......! and I thought it was just us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Good afternoon all, would just like to start by saying hello to all our fellow swingers out there... it maybe a small world but all you sexy peeps make it a very fun place to be..

We begin! Is it just us or have any other of you had meets spoilt by the other couple arguing?!

As we mentioned before we have experienced this a couple of times now, is it a common occorance or 'is it just us' been unlucky? or maybe is it just the effects of one to many beers?

So has this happened to many of you guys, have you had any disaster meets which you would like to share with us all....??"

quite a few times yes, mainly when i used to meet couples with my ex, i only meet single guys now so dont really get it no more as they have anyone to fall out with lol

I remember we met this couple once and her fella went nuts because my hubby made her cum, she wasnt allowed to cum in swinging it was one of their rules

i know go figure that one lol

Met a few couple where the guy had been very uncomfy at seeing his wife playing and asked for her back mid play

Oh we met a couple once and the comdon split on my hubby and the woman and the guy went nuts, got really violent towards my husband, i know its something you dont want to happen but accidents do happen ffs and whys it the guys fault? they was both shagging and using the condom, but i didnt jump up and attack his mrs

Im very uncomfy round couples in swinging i just dont meet them now im not a couple

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By *hockynwMan
over a year ago

Huddersfield

"Good afternoon all, would just like to start by saying hello to all our fellow swingers out there... it maybe a small world but all you sexy peeps make it a very fun place to be..

We begin! Is it just us or have any other of you had meets spoilt by the other couple arguing?!

As we mentioned before we have experienced this a couple of times now, is it a common occorance or 'is it just us' been unlucky? or maybe is it just the effects of one to many beers?

So has this happened to many of you guys, have you had any disaster meets which you would like to share with us all....??

quite a few times yes, mainly when i used to meet couples with my ex, i only meet single guys now so dont really get it no more as they have anyone to fall out with lol

I remember we met this couple once and her fella went nuts because my hubby made her cum, she wasnt allowed to cum in swinging it was one of their rules

i know go figure that one lol

Met a few couple where the guy had been very uncomfy at seeing his wife playing and asked for her back mid play

Im very uncomfy round couples in swinging i just dont meet them now im not a couple"

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Good afternoon all, would just like to start by saying hello to all our fellow swingers out there... it maybe a small world but all you sexy peeps make it a very fun place to be..

We begin! Is it just us or have any other of you had meets spoilt by the other couple arguing?!

As we mentioned before we have experienced this a couple of times now, is it a common occorance or 'is it just us' been unlucky? or maybe is it just the effects of one to many beers?

So has this happened to many of you guys, have you had any disaster meets which you would like to share with us all....??

quite a few times yes, mainly when i used to meet couples with my ex, i only meet single guys now so dont really get it no more as they have anyone to fall out with lol

I remember we met this couple once and her fella went nuts because my hubby made her cum, she wasnt allowed to cum in swinging it was one of their rules

i know go figure that one lol

Met a few couple where the guy had been very uncomfy at seeing his wife playing and asked for her back mid play

Im very uncomfy round couples in swinging i just dont meet them now im not a couple"

You don't say.

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By *bwitchedwarlock69Couple
over a year ago

Batley, West Yorkshire

Our worst meet was one of our first ones, quite a while before we joined Fab.

Got friendly with a couple in a club over a period of time. They invited us over to theirs for a meal one evening. Arrived to find that they had invited another couple as well that we didn't know. Both of the other couples had kids, all of which were upstairs with a takeaway and a pile of videos which put us off playing right from the start. But we'd driven a long way and they'd spent a lot of time preparing the meal for all of us so we stayed, thinking there was no harm in being friendly and polite.

The couple who had invited us over had some issues between themselves (won't say what on here) which we hadn't known previously but that were talked about over dinner. They'd decided to try swinging to see if that helped them sort their problems out, which, if we hadn't already decided on not playing because of the kids upstairs, would have been more than enough to set our alarm bells ringing anyway!

Then it turned out the fella in the couple we hadn't met before was going through some "stuff" (again won't say what on here) and after a few drinks he started crying and threatening to kill himself. The kids heard the crying and came downstairs to find out what was wrong, his little girl was upset that her daddy was crying and when she started crying all the other kids started crying..... needless to say being the strangers in the house we made our excuses and left them all to it! It was a rather surreal evening all things considered!

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"Our worst meet was one of our first ones, quite a while before we joined Fab.

So a good time was had by all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im loving all these horror stories, i dont know why, im strangely fixated by it all

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

wow some serious bad meets.

Mine was one of my first couples meet and early on in my experience.

I arranged to meet a couple after chatting with them both. I was actually seeing someone at that point and was our first meet ish together as a couple really.

Anwya they arrived and we all sat chatting.

Then halfway through the evening i was the time to bring up the conversation as to if we all felt comfortable enough to think about getting naked.

Me and my male friend felt quite happy so we asked in a round about way if they were happy too.

They then promplty turned to each other to say,are you happy...yes

are you happy....yes

are you ha;ppy for me to fuck her....yes

are you happy for me to fuck hi....yes and it went on from there infront of us them having the discussion if they were both happy.

Clearly they werent happy enough and secure ifn the relationship to check, double check and massively really state the obvious that was she happy to fook me.

It went on for 5 mins infront of us. We then left the room for a few mins to allow them the time to discuss what was going to happen in great depth.

In that time we had decided we then werent happy in the way they had discussed it in my lounge and clearly hadnt discussed it through before the meet.

We then didnt feel horny at all.

When we got back into the room they announced they were happy and the rules were.... ladi out all the rules they had suddenly decided on. My male wasnt allowed to cum with his wife.....

It was terrible.

I did find out after that they split up and violence was involved too.

Just felt very uncomfy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Our worst ever was a couple we invited round to our house... the lady was off her head on (which we later discovered she had been going upstairs and taking in our bedroom) and wouldnt leave em alone!

After we calmed her down saying we like to chat / have a drink first she began to tell a childhood story which involved her, the pet dog and her mum walking in on them... (i'll leave the rest to your imagination)

As if this wasnt already enough to put us off she then began to spread her legs and try to entice our dog over in an attempted jokey fashion.... we didnt see the funny side.

After asking her to leave she broke down in tears, all the while her very embarrassed partner (who was very normal!) just sat apologising

It was a long time until we invited anyone else round to our house after that night!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I guess we were really after some of your 'disaster meet' stories to make us feel better... lol

I met Dances Alone, it was a disaster, but i'm not allowed to tell you about it!

you really need to stop feeling bad about that, it happens to men all the time....apparently

But to be fair, had you mentioned your elephantitus of the clitorus before stripping, i may not have fainted from the horrendous nose bleed the shock brought on.

if you hadnt lied on your profile about your height and your eye-level had been higher than my clit, it would have gone un-noticed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In reference to the OP, i was part of a newish couple, and we had invited another couple over when my then partner mentioned how much i squirted and used his previous partners name- stunned silence all round! That was a good one- i don't think they could quite believe it but to be fair i just laughed- you should have seen his face(my partner)!! I did have him as my slave for days after so it wasn't all bad lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I guess we were really after some of your 'disaster meet' stories to make us feel better... lol

I met Dances Alone, it was a disaster, but i'm not allowed to tell you about it!

you really need to stop feeling bad about that, it happens to men all the time....apparently

But to be fair, had you mentioned your elephantitus of the clitorus before stripping, i may not have fainted from the horrendous nose bleed the shock brought on.

if you hadnt lied on your profile about your height and your eye-level had been higher than my clit, it would have gone un-noticed"

LMAO !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

try us two, we don't think you would be dissappointed, meaning we will not argue and if you may find us nice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we have had a few horror stories in our time -

1. We met a couple without seeing face pictures - this was only because they had met a lovely couple we knew and played with - we arrived at the pub and thought they hadn't showed up - then a man with half a head and his wife came over and said they were our meet. He forgot to mention he had hit a horse at 70mph - he then tried passing photocopied £20 notes over the bar - we had an urgent appointment and left.

2. We met a couple that seemed really nice but maybe a bit hyper - found out she was a addict later - but they played in bed with us and then got up and left - when they came back they smelled like a urinal - again we had to make our excuses

3. Di met with her ex and he got so d*unk he ended up falling over in the fireplace and after kicking him they went off and used cream on him whilst her ex was asleep. Lol

It's not just you but lets face it they are strangely fascinating and at least none of ours have involved violence - so consider ourselves luckier than some of the other posters

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"we have had a few horror stories in our time -

3. Di met with her ex and he got so d*unk he ended up falling over in the fireplace and after kicking him they went off and used cream on him whilst her ex was asleep. Lol

It's not just you but lets face it they are strangely fascinating and at least none of ours have involved violence - so consider ourselves luckier than some of the other posters"

The man really had half a head??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we have had a few horror stories in our time -

3. Di met with her ex and he got so d*unk he ended up falling over in the fireplace and after kicking him they went off and used cream on him whilst her ex was asleep. Lol

It's not just you but lets face it they are strangely fascinating and at least none of ours have involved violence - so consider ourselves luckier than some of the other posters

The man really had half a head??

oh yes and the rest of it wasn't good either

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"we have had a few horror stories in our time -

3. Di met with her ex and he got so d*unk he ended up falling over in the fireplace and after kicking him they went off and used cream on him whilst her ex was asleep. Lol

It's not just you but lets face it they are strangely fascinating and at least none of ours have involved violence - so consider ourselves luckier than some of the other posters

The man really had half a head??

oh yes and the rest of it wasn't good either"

How bizarre!!

Nice profile & pics btw if yor ever up our way

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By *obblybitsCouple
over a year ago

huddersfield

omg I fee well put off now from home meets. I don't think we will ever have people hear until the children are grown up and would hope to meet couples first before going to there house. I would fee very uncomfortable in someone Else's house.

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"I guess we were really after some of your 'disaster meet' stories to make us feel better... lol

I met Dances Alone, it was a disaster, but i'm not allowed to tell you about it!

you really need to stop feeling bad about that, it happens to men all the time....apparently

But to be fair, had you mentioned your elephantitus of the clitorus before stripping, i may not have fainted from the horrendous nose bleed the shock brought on.

if you hadnt lied on your profile about your height and your eye-level had been higher than my clit, it would have gone un-noticed"

Un-Noticed?

It had it's OWN tattoo, and it GROWLED at me.

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

Well, we once met a couple and it was ok - then when she was shagging Steve she said she was bleeding - she said she had a stomach ulcer and it must have started bleeding. We obviously stopped play - but really - the stomach goes into the vagina!???? Nope! Also found a very odd condom filled with pink stuff in a bin in a downstairs bathroom the day after - how bizarre - we'd all been playing upstairs! We just assume that she really didn't want to be there and plotted an elaborate plan to get out of it! Sad really, Z

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By *umpkinMan
over a year ago

near the sounds of the wimborne quarter jack!

[Removed by poster at 05/09/10 21:17:46]

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By *mf4BxJCouple
over a year ago

edinburgh

One of our early meets was with a couple we'd already played with and felt comfortable with. He kept asking for full swap. My husband told him it probably won't happen tonight and all was ok. Some play later me (fem) and his partner were getting it on on the bed and my husband was happy to watch the show. Her partner stood for a while then came out with 'so you are bi then aren't you' to his partner. She said no I'm not I'm just playing. And so it went on, totally spoiling the mood!

We went downstairs and they were arguing. They'd obviously had issues with it before and he didn't seem to like the fact she was enjoying herself. We tried to make light of it but they made their apologies and left. Only to continue the argument at 4am round the corner from our house! Last we heard was her shouting 'ok I'm fucking bi' and screeching off in her car. Fun!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we have had a few horror stories in our time -

3. Di met with her ex and he got so d*unk he ended up falling over in the fireplace and after kicking him they went off and used cream on him whilst her ex was asleep. Lol

It's not just you but lets face it they are strangely fascinating and at least none of ours have involved violence - so consider ourselves luckier than some of the other posters

The man really had half a head??

oh yes and the rest of it wasn't good either

How bizarre!!

Nice profile & pics btw if yor ever up our way

lol your pictures are lovely too - can we just ask to save a faux par - have you currently got all limbs and body parts - going to visit our friends in York is suddenly so much more appealing

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"we have had a few horror stories in our time -

3. Di met with her ex and he got so d*unk he ended up falling over in the fireplace and after kicking him they went off and used cream on him whilst her ex was asleep. Lol

It's not just you but lets face it they are strangely fascinating and at least none of ours have involved violence - so consider ourselves luckier than some of the other posters

The man really had half a head??

oh yes and the rest of it wasn't good either

How bizarre!!

Nice profile & pics btw if yor ever up our way

lol your pictures are lovely too - can we just ask to save a faux par - have you currently got all limbs and body parts - going to visit our friends in York is suddenly so much more appealing"

yes, all limbs intact!! lol

we'd be more than happy to show you the delights of York if you facied paying us a visit..

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By *urreyfun2008Man
over a year ago

East Grinstead

Seems a common theme is that swinging is not a good idea if there are 'issues' in a relationship (hardly news really).

Then the old one of jealousy can sometimes just appear from nowhere.

Note to self, hide the booze, i.e. d*unk swinging is probably not a good idea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ooooooooooooo might just take you up on that offer

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By *ollie_JCouple
over a year ago

London

We have had good ones and bad ones.. But half a head..

Jesus...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We have had good ones and bad ones.. But half a head..

Jesus...

lol no he didnt look like jesus - that would have been an improvment even if he did wear socks with the sandals

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I guess we were really after some of your 'disaster meet' stories to make us feel better... lol

I met Dances Alone, it was a disaster, but i'm not allowed to tell you about it!

you really need to stop feeling bad about that, it happens to men all the time....apparently

But to be fair, had you mentioned your elephantitus of the clitorus before stripping, i may not have fainted from the horrendous nose bleed the shock brought on.

if you hadnt lied on your profile about your height and your eye-level had been higher than my clit, it would have gone un-noticed

Un-Noticed?

It had it's OWN tattoo, and it GROWLED at me.

it usually purrs, but it didn't recognise your species

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

if you hadnt lied on your profile about your height and your eye-level had been higher than my clit, it would have gone un-noticed

Un-Noticed?

It had it's OWN tattoo, and it GROWLED at me.

it usually purrs, but it didn't recognise your species"

to be continued ...

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

I apologise for the Schadenfreude, but I love these threads. It makes me feel better about no-shows...

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"I apologise for the Schadenfreude, but I love these threads. It makes me feel better about no-shows...

talking of which, where's yer piccy gone and why no silhouette?

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By *orkduoCouple
over a year ago

york

hya sexyyorks,we have it dont worry,round at our house,she went off on one ,calling her fella a twat n allsorts ,said he was selfish,me n andy looked at each other,i didnt know what to do as it came outta no where ,not our kinda cpl at all,it was getting late so we said wed had a good time but thought it was time they left.they want to meet us again but its never gonna happen xx

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"I guess we were really after some of your 'disaster meet' stories to make us feel better... lol

I met Dances Alone, it was a disaster, but i'm not allowed to tell you about it!

you really need to stop feeling bad about that, it happens to men all the time....apparently

But to be fair, had you mentioned your elephantitus of the clitorus before stripping, i may not have fainted from the horrendous nose bleed the shock brought on.

if you hadnt lied on your profile about your height and your eye-level had been higher than my clit, it would have gone un-noticed

Un-Noticed?

It had it's OWN tattoo, and it GROWLED at me.

it usually purrs, but it didn't recognise your species"

Not surprising really, it wouldnt have seen a Homo-Grammaticus-Vocabulari before.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

reading all these, i don't feel quite so bad, about a wierd meet some years ago. great start, nice hotel, nicer restaurant ... and the four of us getting on really well (especially as we're getting back to the room). inside, we swapped partners, and get fully engaged .. when the other guy calls out "you can't cum in her, so pull out before you start to spurt". (beforehand, they'd said bareback, as they hated condoms). ok, ... whatever, sticking to the new rules, i continue thrusting (by the way, he's fucking my partner and is going to shoot his load inside her), when the girl starts to cum (lots of screaming, shouting, crying from her), so i step up the pace to make sure that i'll cum and pull out, as she cums. getting close, and she cums hard, i'm close (a few moments left) and about to pull out, when she grabs me by the neck, shouts "stay in" and goes wild holding me inside as i shoot my load. all hell breaks loose from the other bed, as the guy pulls out of my ex, pulls me off her, and they start to shout and scream at each other.

never again

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I guess we were really after some of your 'disaster meet' stories to make us feel better... lol

I met Dances Alone, it was a disaster, but i'm not allowed to tell you about it!

you really need to stop feeling bad about that, it happens to men all the time....apparently

But to be fair, had you mentioned your elephantitus of the clitorus before stripping, i may not have fainted from the horrendous nose bleed the shock brought on.

if you hadnt lied on your profile about your height and your eye-level had been higher than my clit, it would have gone un-noticed

Un-Noticed?

It had it's OWN tattoo, and it GROWLED at me.

it usually purrs, but it didn't recognise your species

Not surprising really, it wouldnt have seen a Homo-Grammaticus-Vocabulari before.

'it' hasn't been introduced to any kind of homo before; you were definitely the first.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"I guess we were really after some of your 'disaster meet' stories to make us feel better... lol

I met Dances Alone, it was a disaster, but i'm not allowed to tell you about it!

you really need to stop feeling bad about that, it happens to men all the time....apparently

But to be fair, had you mentioned your elephantitus of the clitorus before stripping, i may not have fainted from the horrendous nose bleed the shock brought on.

if you hadnt lied on your profile about your height and your eye-level had been higher than my clit, it would have gone un-noticed

Un-Noticed?

It had it's OWN tattoo, and it GROWLED at me.

it usually purrs, but it didn't recognise your species

Not surprising really, it wouldnt have seen a Homo-Grammaticus-Vocabulari before.

'it' hasn't been introduced to any kind of homo before; you were definitely the first."

The first to not be wearing an old firm top, perhaps. But not "the first", by a long chalk.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The first to not be wearing an old firm top, perhaps. But not "the first", by a long chalk."

i guess it was hard for you to find an outfit that adequately hides your colostomy bag though.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

The first to not be wearing an old firm top, perhaps. But not "the first", by a long chalk.

i guess it was hard for you to find an outfit that adequately hides your colostomy bag though."

You ASKED me to dress as Peter Beardsley.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The first to not be wearing an old firm top, perhaps. But not "the first", by a long chalk.

i guess it was hard for you to find an outfit that adequately hides your colostomy bag though.

You ASKED me to dress as Peter Beardsley."

i was playing to your strengths and going by the face pics...

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

The first to not be wearing an old firm top, perhaps. But not "the first", by a long chalk.

i guess it was hard for you to find an outfit that adequately hides your colostomy bag though.

You ASKED me to dress as Peter Beardsley.

i was playing to your strengths and going by the face pics..."

Strength? I'd never seen a regulation size football picked up by the labia before.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The first to not be wearing an old firm top, perhaps. But not "the first", by a long chalk.

i guess it was hard for you to find an outfit that adequately hides your colostomy bag though.

You ASKED me to dress as Peter Beardsley.

i was playing to your strengths and going by the face pics...

Strength? I'd never seen a regulation size football picked up by the labia before."

i managed to pick you up relying solely on the power of the pussy, so why should you be suprised?

credited, you have less intelligence than a football, but certainly the same air to vacant space ratio

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

The first to not be wearing an old firm top, perhaps. But not "the first", by a long chalk.

i guess it was hard for you to find an outfit that adequately hides your colostomy bag though.

You ASKED me to dress as Peter Beardsley.

i was playing to your strengths and going by the face pics...

Strength? I'd never seen a regulation size football picked up by the labia before.

i managed to pick you up relying solely on the power of the pussy, so why should you be suprised?

credited, you have less intelligence than a football, but certainly the same air to vacant space ratio"

To be fair, if picking it up was impressive, making it disappear (like the scene from "Alien" where it lays an egg, played in reverse) was mind-blowing.

Especially when it bared it's teeth at me.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The first to not be wearing an old firm top, perhaps. But not "the first", by a long chalk.

i guess it was hard for you to find an outfit that adequately hides your colostomy bag though.

You ASKED me to dress as Peter Beardsley.

i was playing to your strengths and going by the face pics...

Strength? I'd never seen a regulation size football picked up by the labia before.

i managed to pick you up relying solely on the power of the pussy, so why should you be suprised?

credited, you have less intelligence than a football, but certainly the same air to vacant space ratio

To be fair, if picking it up was impressive, making it disappear (like the scene from "Alien" where it lays an egg, played in reverse) was mind-blowing.

Especially when it bared it's teeth at me. "

as they say, size is relative and, to be fair to you, it would need to be a gnats fanny to have the slightest chance of tickling someones fancy.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

The first to not be wearing an old firm top, perhaps. But not "the first", by a long chalk.

i guess it was hard for you to find an outfit that adequately hides your colostomy bag though.

You ASKED me to dress as Peter Beardsley.

i was playing to your strengths and going by the face pics...

Strength? I'd never seen a regulation size football picked up by the labia before.

i managed to pick you up relying solely on the power of the pussy, so why should you be suprised?

credited, you have less intelligence than a football, but certainly the same air to vacant space ratio

To be fair, if picking it up was impressive, making it disappear (like the scene from "Alien" where it lays an egg, played in reverse) was mind-blowing.

Especially when it bared it's teeth at me.

as they say, size is relative and, to be fair to you, it would need to be a gnats fanny to have the slightest chance of tickling someones fancy."

I'm no entomologist, but those werent gnats on your fanny. They didnt look fancy, though i'll concede "ticklish" looked distinctly possible.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The first to not be wearing an old firm top, perhaps. But not "the first", by a long chalk.

i guess it was hard for you to find an outfit that adequately hides your colostomy bag though.

You ASKED me to dress as Peter Beardsley.

i was playing to your strengths and going by the face pics...

Strength? I'd never seen a regulation size football picked up by the labia before.

i managed to pick you up relying solely on the power of the pussy, so why should you be suprised?

credited, you have less intelligence than a football, but certainly the same air to vacant space ratio

To be fair, if picking it up was impressive, making it disappear (like the scene from "Alien" where it lays an egg, played in reverse) was mind-blowing.

Especially when it bared it's teeth at me.

as they say, size is relative and, to be fair to you, it would need to be a gnats fanny to have the slightest chance of tickling someones fancy.

I'm no entomologist, but those werent gnats on your fanny. They didnt look fancy, though i'll concede "ticklish" looked distinctly possible."

at least they weren't eaing rthrough the flesh...or was that an excuse to hide your embarassment?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

The first to not be wearing an old firm top, perhaps. But not "the first", by a long chalk.

i guess it was hard for you to find an outfit that adequately hides your colostomy bag though.

You ASKED me to dress as Peter Beardsley.

i was playing to your strengths and going by the face pics...

Strength? I'd never seen a regulation size football picked up by the labia before.

i managed to pick you up relying solely on the power of the pussy, so why should you be suprised?

credited, you have less intelligence than a football, but certainly the same air to vacant space ratio

To be fair, if picking it up was impressive, making it disappear (like the scene from "Alien" where it lays an egg, played in reverse) was mind-blowing.

Especially when it bared it's teeth at me.

as they say, size is relative and, to be fair to you, it would need to be a gnats fanny to have the slightest chance of tickling someones fancy.

I'm no entomologist, but those werent gnats on your fanny. They didnt look fancy, though i'll concede "ticklish" looked distinctly possible.

at least they weren't eaing rthrough the flesh...or was that an excuse to hide your embarassment?"

Hide it? As the entire Greenock Morton first team filed out, high-fiving me and saying "gaun yersel' wee man, yer up next"?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The first to not be wearing an old firm top, perhaps. But not "the first", by a long chalk.

i guess it was hard for you to find an outfit that adequately hides your colostomy bag though.

You ASKED me to dress as Peter Beardsley.

i was playing to your strengths and going by the face pics...

Strength? I'd never seen a regulation size football picked up by the labia before.

i managed to pick you up relying solely on the power of the pussy, so why should you be suprised?

credited, you have less intelligence than a football, but certainly the same air to vacant space ratio

To be fair, if picking it up was impressive, making it disappear (like the scene from "Alien" where it lays an egg, played in reverse) was mind-blowing.

Especially when it bared it's teeth at me.

as they say, size is relative and, to be fair to you, it would need to be a gnats fanny to have the slightest chance of tickling someones fancy.

I'm no entomologist, but those werent gnats on your fanny. They didnt look fancy, though i'll concede "ticklish" looked distinctly possible.

at least they weren't eaing rthrough the flesh...or was that an excuse to hide your embarassment?

Hide it? As the entire Greenock Morton first team filed out, high-fiving me and saying "gaun yersel' wee man, yer up next"?

they either thought you were a contortionist or slackened you so much your colon prolapsed

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

The first to not be wearing an old firm top, perhaps. But not "the first", by a long chalk.

i guess it was hard for you to find an outfit that adequately hides your colostomy bag though.

You ASKED me to dress as Peter Beardsley.

i was playing to your strengths and going by the face pics...

Strength? I'd never seen a regulation size football picked up by the labia before.

i managed to pick you up relying solely on the power of the pussy, so why should you be suprised?

credited, you have less intelligence than a football, but certainly the same air to vacant space ratio

To be fair, if picking it up was impressive, making it disappear (like the scene from "Alien" where it lays an egg, played in reverse) was mind-blowing.

Especially when it bared it's teeth at me.

as they say, size is relative and, to be fair to you, it would need to be a gnats fanny to have the slightest chance of tickling someones fancy.

I'm no entomologist, but those werent gnats on your fanny. They didnt look fancy, though i'll concede "ticklish" looked distinctly possible.

at least they weren't eaing rthrough the flesh...or was that an excuse to hide your embarassment?

Hide it? As the entire Greenock Morton first team filed out, high-fiving me and saying "gaun yersel' wee man, yer up next"?

they either thought you were a contortionist or slackened you so much your colon prolapsed

Hardly! Say "prolapsed colon" to a Greenock Morton player and he thinks "czechoslovakian winger, season 77/78". (to be fair to you, they were well chuffed when they left, even the goalie scored that night)

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

jeezeeeeeeeee, this is better than a soap opera, next instalment pls he he he ,

just wondering r u two friends really lol

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"jeezeeeeeeeee, this is better than a soap opera, next instalment pls he he he ,

just wondering r u two friends really lol"

we're married...can't you tell?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you dont think i was fucking you to please yo udid you? poor buggers were pleased to be shot of you. was a totally selfless act on my behalf

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

you dont think i was fucking you to please yo udid you? poor buggers were pleased to be shot of you. was a totally selfless act on my behalf"

Well there was certainly no pleasing you. Selfless act? Getting your Dildo out in front of me and just buzzing away with it?

I'd never seen a Diesel one before.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"jeezeeeeeeeee, this is better than a soap opera, next instalment pls he he he ,

just wondering r u two friends really lol

we're married...can't you tell?"

arrrr, so not friends then, pmsl

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"jeezeeeeeeeee, this is better than a soap opera, next instalment pls he he he ,

just wondering r u two friends really lol"

NEVER marry your cousin.

And you two are our next meat.

And that's NOT a typo.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

eeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk,

mao

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you dont think i was fucking you to please yo udid you? poor buggers were pleased to be shot of you. was a totally selfless act on my behalf

Well there was certainly no pleasing you. Selfless act? Getting your Dildo out in front of me and just buzzing away with it?

I'd never seen a Diesel one before.

no, i can quite believe that, i had been advised that i might require an industrial generator from one of your more complimentary meets

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

you dont think i was fucking you to please yo udid you? poor buggers were pleased to be shot of you. was a totally selfless act on my behalf

Well there was certainly no pleasing you. Selfless act? Getting your Dildo out in front of me and just buzzing away with it?

I'd never seen a Diesel one before.

no, i can quite believe that, i had been advised that i might require an industrial generator from one of your more complimentary meets"

My sexual industry has oft generated compliments. As a time-served Joiner, many is the lady who has enjoyed my tongueing and grooving.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you dont think i was fucking you to please yo udid you? poor buggers were pleased to be shot of you. was a totally selfless act on my behalf

Well there was certainly no pleasing you. Selfless act? Getting your Dildo out in front of me and just buzzing away with it?

I'd never seen a Diesel one before.

no, i can quite believe that, i had been advised that i might require an industrial generator from one of your more complimentary meets

My sexual industry has oft generated compliments. As a time-served Joiner, many is the lady who has enjoyed my tongueing and grooving."

ever seen a bad verification?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

you dont think i was fucking you to please yo udid you? poor buggers were pleased to be shot of you. was a totally selfless act on my behalf

Well there was certainly no pleasing you. Selfless act? Getting your Dildo out in front of me and just buzzing away with it?

I'd never seen a Diesel one before.

no, i can quite believe that, i had been advised that i might require an industrial generator from one of your more complimentary meets

My sexual industry has oft generated compliments. As a time-served Joiner, many is the lady who has enjoyed my tongueing and grooving.

ever seen a bad verification?"

Go to "My Account", click "manage Verifications" and show the world my veri of you.

Don't be shy. Darling.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you dont think i was fucking you to please yo udid you? poor buggers were pleased to be shot of you. was a totally selfless act on my behalf

Well there was certainly no pleasing you. Selfless act? Getting your Dildo out in front of me and just buzzing away with it?

I'd never seen a Diesel one before.

no, i can quite believe that, i had been advised that i might require an industrial generator from one of your more complimentary meets

My sexual industry has oft generated compliments. As a time-served Joiner, many is the lady who has enjoyed my tongueing and grooving.

ever seen a bad verification?

Go to "My Account", click "manage Verifications" and show the world my veri of you.

Don't be shy. Darling."

it's like your cock, i cant find it, sweet delicious xx

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

you dont think i was fucking you to please yo udid you? poor buggers were pleased to be shot of you. was a totally selfless act on my behalf

Well there was certainly no pleasing you. Selfless act? Getting your Dildo out in front of me and just buzzing away with it?

I'd never seen a Diesel one before.

no, i can quite believe that, i had been advised that i might require an industrial generator from one of your more complimentary meets

My sexual industry has oft generated compliments. As a time-served Joiner, many is the lady who has enjoyed my tongueing and grooving.

ever seen a bad verification?

Go to "My Account", click "manage Verifications" and show the world my veri of you.

Don't be shy. Darling.

it's like your cock, i cant find it, sweet delicious xx"

My cock is indeed both sweet and delicious. But your the first girl i've met where i couldnt get it to touch EITHER side.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you dont think i was fucking you to please yo udid you? poor buggers were pleased to be shot of you. was a totally selfless act on my behalf

Well there was certainly no pleasing you. Selfless act? Getting your Dildo out in front of me and just buzzing away with it?

I'd never seen a Diesel one before.

no, i can quite believe that, i had been advised that i might require an industrial generator from one of your more complimentary meets

My sexual industry has oft generated compliments. As a time-served Joiner, many is the lady who has enjoyed my tongueing and grooving.

ever seen a bad verification?

Go to "My Account", click "manage Verifications" and show the world my veri of you.

Don't be shy. Darling.

it's like your cock, i cant find it, sweet delicious xx

My cock is indeed both sweet and delicious. But your the first girl i've met where i couldnt get it to touch EITHER side. "

worthy of note is the fact your the only one to have tasted your cock

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

you dont think i was fucking you to please yo udid you? poor buggers were pleased to be shot of you. was a totally selfless act on my behalf

Well there was certainly no pleasing you. Selfless act? Getting your Dildo out in front of me and just buzzing away with it?

I'd never seen a Diesel one before.

no, i can quite believe that, i had been advised that i might require an industrial generator from one of your more complimentary meets

My sexual industry has oft generated compliments. As a time-served Joiner, many is the lady who has enjoyed my tongueing and grooving.

ever seen a bad verification?

Go to "My Account", click "manage Verifications" and show the world my veri of you.

Don't be shy. Darling.

it's like your cock, i cant find it, sweet delicious xx

My cock is indeed both sweet and delicious. But your the first girl i've met where i couldnt get it to touch EITHER side.

worthy of note is the fact your the only one to have tasted your cock"

Yeah, but when i get a semi, it tickles my chin. What do you expect me to do?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah, but when i get a semi, it tickles my chin. What do you expect me to do?"

tis the only benefit to being a pygmy i guess

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Yeah, but when i get a semi, it tickles my chin. What do you expect me to do?

tis the only benefit to being a pygmy i guess"

That and being able to hit the correct quote button. Though in your neighbourhood they probably think a quote is what you wear in the winter.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah, but when i get a semi, it tickles my chin. What do you expect me to do?

tis the only benefit to being a pygmy i guess

That and being able to hit the correct quote button. Though in your neighbourhood they probably think a quote is what you wear in the winter."

how cliche, being a pedant.....overemphasising the smallest of details

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wasn't there a thread somewhere around here?

Anyone seen it lately?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Yeah, but when i get a semi, it tickles my chin. What do you expect me to do?

tis the only benefit to being a pygmy i guess

That and being able to hit the correct quote button. Though in your neighbourhood they probably think a quote is what you wear in the winter.

how cliche, being a pedant.....overemphasising the smallest of details"

Better a pedant than a pendant, hanging down and swinging about - and that was your labia MINOR.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Wasn't there a thread somewhere around here?

Anyone seen it lately?

And who's this guy Dances? ANOTHER one you "meant" to tell me about?

Jesus.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You two are fantastic! Funniest bit of literature I've read in ages... got to love the banter!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah, but when i get a semi, it tickles my chin. What do you expect me to do?

tis the only benefit to being a pygmy i guess

That and being able to hit the correct quote button. Though in your neighbourhood they probably think a quote is what you wear in the winter.

how cliche, being a pedant.....overemphasising the smallest of details

Better a pedant than a pendant, hanging down and swinging about - and that was your labia MINOR."

they were fine until i tried to get away from your painful if not laughable oral techniques that sent me flying up the other end of the county with you reluctant to let go

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Yeah, but when i get a semi, it tickles my chin. What do you expect me to do?

tis the only benefit to being a pygmy i guess

That and being able to hit the correct quote button. Though in your neighbourhood they probably think a quote is what you wear in the winter.

how cliche, being a pedant.....overemphasising the smallest of details

Better a pedant than a pendant, hanging down and swinging about - and that was your labia MINOR.

they were fine until i tried to get away from your painful if not laughable oral techniques that sent me flying up the other end of the county with you reluctant to let go"

How was i to know my tongue stud would get caught in your chain-mail clit hood? Which was bad enough until my toe hit that bare live wire sticking out of the wall.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How was i to know my tongue stud would get caught in your chain-mail clit hood? Which was bad enough until my toe hit that bare live wire sticking out of the wall. "

a more considerate partner would buy women jewelry that can be worn and seen in public.

as for the live wire....get in an electrician! it wasnt what i was there to do!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

How was i to know my tongue stud would get caught in your chain-mail clit hood? Which was bad enough until my toe hit that bare live wire sticking out of the wall.

a more considerate partner would buy women jewelry that can be worn and seen in public.

as for the live wire....get in an electrician! it wasnt what i was there to do!"

At least the live wire meant you MOVED during sex this time.

I would buy you Trinkets - but i won't walk in public with you wearing "BIATCH" in 4" gold letters round your neck.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How was i to know my tongue stud would get caught in your chain-mail clit hood? Which was bad enough until my toe hit that bare live wire sticking out of the wall.

a more considerate partner would buy women jewelry that can be worn and seen in public.

as for the live wire....get in an electrician! it wasnt what i was there to do!

At least the live wire meant you MOVED during sex this time.

I would buy you Trinkets - but i won't walk in public with you wearing "BIATCH" in 4" gold letters round your neck."

your sexual methods have the same effect of an excessive dose of melatonin...and just to clarify, no, i don't have narcolepsy, it is you and it does matter!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

How was i to know my tongue stud would get caught in your chain-mail clit hood? Which was bad enough until my toe hit that bare live wire sticking out of the wall.

a more considerate partner would buy women jewelry that can be worn and seen in public.

as for the live wire....get in an electrician! it wasnt what i was there to do!

At least the live wire meant you MOVED during sex this time.

I would buy you Trinkets - but i won't walk in public with you wearing "BIATCH" in 4" gold letters round your neck.

your sexual methods have the same effect of an excessive dose of melatonin...and just to clarify, no, i don't have narcolepsy, it is you and it does matter!"

I apologise. I was getting confused between narcolepsy and necrophillia. Easily done when with you.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How was i to know my tongue stud would get caught in your chain-mail clit hood? Which was bad enough until my toe hit that bare live wire sticking out of the wall.

a more considerate partner would buy women jewelry that can be worn and seen in public.

as for the live wire....get in an electrician! it wasnt what i was there to do!

At least the live wire meant you MOVED during sex this time.

I would buy you Trinkets - but i won't walk in public with you wearing "BIATCH" in 4" gold letters round your neck.

your sexual methods have the same effect of an excessive dose of melatonin...and just to clarify, no, i don't have narcolepsy, it is you and it does matter!

I apologise. I was getting confused between narcolepsy and necrophillia. Easily done when with you."

either way, you're the cause not the cure

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

How was i to know my tongue stud would get caught in your chain-mail clit hood? Which was bad enough until my toe hit that bare live wire sticking out of the wall.

a more considerate partner would buy women jewelry that can be worn and seen in public.

as for the live wire....get in an electrician! it wasnt what i was there to do!

At least the live wire meant you MOVED during sex this time.

I would buy you Trinkets - but i won't walk in public with you wearing "BIATCH" in 4" gold letters round your neck.

your sexual methods have the same effect of an excessive dose of melatonin...and just to clarify, no, i don't have narcolepsy, it is you and it does matter!

I apologise. I was getting confused between narcolepsy and necrophillia. Easily done when with you.

either way, you're the cause not the cure"

Talking of cure, it was slightly disconcerting when, the morning after we'd been together, i went to the Doctor - he took one look at the swelling and the puss when i dropped my pants and then mentioned you by name.

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By *eeds34Man
over a year ago

leeds

Really had to put the reading glasses on for this some routine!

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By *ex.IncCouple
over a year ago

Castleford

Its turned jezza kyle in this bitch!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Really had to put the reading glasses on for this some routine!

i quite agree, he's never managed to get me this excited before.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How was i to know my tongue stud would get caught in your chain-mail clit hood? Which was bad enough until my toe hit that bare live wire sticking out of the wall.

a more considerate partner would buy women jewelry that can be worn and seen in public.

as for the live wire....get in an electrician! it wasnt what i was there to do!

At least the live wire meant you MOVED during sex this time.

I would buy you Trinkets - but i won't walk in public with you wearing "BIATCH" in 4" gold letters round your neck.

your sexual methods have the same effect of an excessive dose of melatonin...and just to clarify, no, i don't have narcolepsy, it is you and it does matter!

I apologise. I was getting confused between narcolepsy and necrophillia. Easily done when with you.

either way, you're the cause not the cure

he cant have had that short a memory, i was head of the queue that morning....

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

How was i to know my tongue stud would get caught in your chain-mail clit hood? Which was bad enough until my toe hit that bare live wire sticking out of the wall.

a more considerate partner would buy women jewelry that can be worn and seen in public.

as for the live wire....get in an electrician! it wasnt what i was there to do!

At least the live wire meant you MOVED during sex this time.

I would buy you Trinkets - but i won't walk in public with you wearing "BIATCH" in 4" gold letters round your neck.

your sexual methods have the same effect of an excessive dose of melatonin...and just to clarify, no, i don't have narcolepsy, it is you and it does matter!

I apologise. I was getting confused between narcolepsy and necrophillia. Easily done when with you.

either way, you're the cause not the cure

he cant have had that short a memory, i was head of the queue that morning...."

And indeed most mornings, he told me. Though you get your methadone elsewhere now he was saying?

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

and leading on points, by several rounds, is the west corner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And indeed most mornings, he told me. Though you get your methadone elsewhere now he was saying?"

probably cause your dealer cuts his crack with dog worming tablets (tailored to meet your needs, clearly). not much of a recommendstion...but what did i expect from a cacker?

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

And indeed most mornings, he told me. Though you get your methadone elsewhere now he was saying?

probably cause your dealer cuts his crack with dog worming tablets (tailored to meet your needs, clearly). not much of a recommendstion...but what did i expect from a cacker? "

Yeah? Well you'd know all about cutting crack. I cut my COCK on your crack. Darling.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And indeed most mornings, he told me. Though you get your methadone elsewhere now he was saying?

probably cause your dealer cuts his crack with dog worming tablets (tailored to meet your needs, clearly). not much of a recommendstion...but what did i expect from a cacker?

Yeah? Well you'd know all about cutting crack. I cut my COCK on your crack. Darling.

so? it protested....!

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By *r and Mrs FlintstoneCouple
over a year ago

bridgwater

put us right off our first meet now lol !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/09/10 19:03:32]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"put us right off our first meet now lol !!"

please don't be put of; he scrubs up ok with a bit of industrial stength cleaning fluid and a wire brush (unless you have ultrasonic...all the better)...and even provides his own hazmat suits x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dances,sensual, youve made this probably the most entertaining thread ive read all year !!! anywhere, LOL !!

Thank You

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"put us right off our first meet now lol !!

please don't be put of; he scrubs up ok with a bit of industrial stength cleaning fluid and a wire brush (unless you have ultrasonic...all the better)...and even provides his own hazmat suits x"

Which are handy to dispose of.

Just drop them in the large yellow bin outside her house.

The one marked "Hazardous Medical Waste - BWEARE OF SHARPS".

Which the council provided after complaints from local residents.

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"put us right off our first meet now lol !!"

Which is a shame.

Because we're parked outside your house.

Now!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"put us right off our first meet now lol !!

please don't be put of; he scrubs up ok with a bit of industrial stength cleaning fluid and a wire brush (unless you have ultrasonic...all the better)...and even provides his own hazmat suits x

Which are handy to dispose of.

Just drop them in the large yellow bin outside her house.

The one marked "Hazardous Medical Waste - BWEARE OF SHARPS".

Which the council provided after complaints from local residents."

tch, they removed them since i promised never to have you visit again...i think they were a bit taken aback by the speed of my response though.

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"put us right off our first meet now lol !!

please don't be put of; he scrubs up ok with a bit of industrial stength cleaning fluid and a wire brush (unless you have ultrasonic...all the better)...and even provides his own hazmat suits x

Which are handy to dispose of.

Just drop them in the large yellow bin outside her house.

The one marked "Hazardous Medical Waste - BWEARE OF SHARPS".

Which the council provided after complaints from local residents.

tch, they removed them since i promised never to have you visit again...i think they were a bit taken aback by the speed of my response though.

Responsive? You?

Would have been nice.

And as for Speed, my arse was a blur, the tattoos were sliding off my arms.

But not so much as an "oh".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

most entertaining thread ive ever read, you both should be on stage lol

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"put us right off our first meet now lol !!

please don't be put of; he scrubs up ok with a bit of industrial stength cleaning fluid and a wire brush (unless you have ultrasonic...all the better)...and even provides his own hazmat suits x

Which are handy to dispose of.

Just drop them in the large yellow bin outside her house.

The one marked "Hazardous Medical Waste - BWEARE OF SHARPS".

Which the council provided after complaints from local residents.

tch, they removed them since i promised never to have you visit again...i think they were a bit taken aback by the speed of my response though.

Responsive? You?

Would have been nice.

And as for Speed, my arse was a blur, the tattoos were sliding off my arms.

But not so much as an "oh"."

yes, we've already established that not only can you not get my pulse racing, you bearly can keep it from flat lining.

i've done to death all the pm's that claim to be from single men (married) studs (geldings) last for hours (moments) and good repeater (has gas)...when i read yours claiming to be the best 4 inches I'd have in 4 minutes...i thought, "ahhhh, a man who is finally honest...", little did i realise it was the greatest exaggeration on size and performance to date.

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"put us right off our first meet now lol !!

please don't be put of; he scrubs up ok with a bit of industrial stength cleaning fluid and a wire brush (unless you have ultrasonic...all the better)...and even provides his own hazmat suits x

Which are handy to dispose of.

Just drop them in the large yellow bin outside her house.

The one marked "Hazardous Medical Waste - BWEARE OF SHARPS".

Which the council provided after complaints from local residents.

tch, they removed them since i promised never to have you visit again...i think they were a bit taken aback by the speed of my response though.

Responsive? You?

Would have been nice.

And as for Speed, my arse was a blur, the tattoos were sliding off my arms.

But not so much as an "oh".

yes, we've already established that not only can you not get my pulse racing, you bearly can keep it from flat lining.

I just don't know what your problem is.

You said "Give me twelve inches and make me bleed"

I fucked you four times and punched you on the nose.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

wow i haven't laughed so much in ages, thankyou

miss pink

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes, we've already established that not only can you not get my pulse racing, you bearly can keep it from flat lining.

I just don't know what your problem is.

You said "Give me twelve inches and make me bleed"

I fucked you four times and punched you on the nose."

what you call 3 inches is what i call inverted...and that was a punch? jeez, i reckon a kitten could throw a better punch..i actually thought it was your twisted idea of foreplay, given everything else failed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes, we've already established that not only can you not get my pulse racing, you bearly can keep it from flat lining.

I just don't know what your problem is.

You said "Give me twelve inches and make me bleed"

I fucked you four times and punched you on the nose.

Get a room you two!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get a room you two!!"

ok, but it will be a four way split!

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Get a room you two!!

ok, but it will be a four way split!"

Like your front teeth?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get a room you two!!

ok, but it will be a four way split!"

please. please, please can you ask your last meet to beam us up in a thick accent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get a room you two!!

ok, but it will be a four way split!

Like your front teeth?"

no. like your over-used anus

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

yes, we've already established that not only can you not get my pulse racing, you bearly can keep it from flat lining.

I just don't know what your problem is.

You said "Give me twelve inches and make me bleed"

I fucked you four times and punched you on the nose.

I apologise for the paucity of my punch. Your face certainly looked like it's received many harder ones.

Twisted idea of foreplay? Me?

As opposed to the beguiling sweet nothing you barked at me;

"Ah dinnae ken how they do it where you come frae pal, but where ah come frae, it's tits first THEN fanny."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ah dinnae ken how they do it where you come frae pal, but where ah come frae, it's tits first THEN fanny.""

I didn't understand a word of that, having a proper grasp of the Queen's English and the ability to relay it with an English tongue.

I thought Rab C Nesbitt was a parody up here, not an aspiration. Good you have some ambition though I guess, even if it's not to be a palatable lover....hahaha, i can't help when I use the word 'lover' when referring to you, it's so obtuse.

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Ah dinnae ken how they do it where you come frae pal, but where ah come frae, it's tits first THEN fanny."

I didn't understand a word of that, having a proper grasp of the Queen's English and the ability to relay it with an English tongue.

Of course, Of course!

It's coming back to me now - my brain has remained somewhat addled since we drank your enticing "Family Tipple" of Jagermesiter and Creme de Menthe. By the Litre. (my vision is still impaired)

It had slipped my mind that your are the quintessential English Rose. Short skirt, no knickers and proud of her ability to piss higher than the blokes outside "Shenanigans" nightclub in the precinct.

(are you SURE it wasnt you i saw on ITV4's "Sluts, Scags and Skanks?- would explain your move to Scotland)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

(are you SURE it wasnt you i saw on ITV4's "Sluts, Scags and Skanks?- would explain your move to Scotland) "

no, it wasnt me, though at least i know where you usually trawl for sex....and it explains why you had your mother write your verifications; wouldnt want anyone seeing the horrors you had before

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

(are you SURE it wasnt you i saw on ITV4's "Sluts, Scags and Skanks?- would explain your move to Scotland)

no, it wasnt me, though at least i know where you usually trawl for sex....and it explains why you had your mother write your verifications; wouldnt want anyone seeing the horrors you had before

And talking of trawling, best you get your stockings off.

The Fleet at Grimsby need their nets back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

(are you SURE it wasnt you i saw on ITV4's "Sluts, Scags and Skanks?- would explain your move to Scotland)

no, it wasnt me, though at least i know where you usually trawl for sex....and it explains why you had your mother write your verifications; wouldnt want anyone seeing the horrors you had before

And talking of trawling, best you get your stockings off.

The Fleet at Grimsby need their nets back."

i traded them for your sweaty saggy ball bag...it has more experience of holding dead swimmers

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

(are you SURE it wasnt you i saw on ITV4's "Sluts, Scags and Skanks?- would explain your move to Scotland)

no, it wasnt me, though at least i know where you usually trawl for sex....and it explains why you had your mother write your verifications; wouldnt want anyone seeing the horrors you had before

And talking of trawling, best you get your stockings off.

The Fleet at Grimsby need their nets back.

i traded them for your sweaty saggy ball bag...it has more experience of holding dead swimmers"

I'm surprised you state that my swimmers are dead publicly here.

As privately you appear to have informed the C.S.A that i am the father of someone with the, somwhat bizarre nomenclature of "Pinnott Griggeeeooo, Skegness, Darren, Alone".

(presumably following the current fashion of the childs name being a reminder of its conception.)

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i traded them for your sweaty saggy ball bag...it has more experience of holding dead swimmers

I'm surprised you state that my swimmers are dead publicly here.

As privately you appear to have informed the C.S.A that i am the father of someone with the, somwhat bizarre nomenclature of "Pinnott Griggeeeooo, Skegness, Darren, Alone".

(presumably following the current fashion of the childs name being a reminder of its conception.)"

you've just exposed quite publically the kind of first date you give a girl...darren. though, what kind of farther are you, you forget her third name is spam?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *eeds34Man
over a year ago

leeds

Had me rolling round this one.

So u guys have met then lol

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

i traded them for your sweaty saggy ball bag...it has more experience of holding dead swimmers

I'm surprised you state that my swimmers are dead publicly here.

As privately you appear to have informed the C.S.A that i am the father of someone with the, somwhat bizarre nomenclature of "Pinnott Griggeeeooo, Skegness, Darren, Alone".

(presumably following the current fashion of the childs name being a reminder of its conception.)

you've just exposed quite publically the kind of first date you give a girl...darren. though, what kind of farther are you, you forget her third name is spam? "

Precisely.

Because i'm not her father. We don't know who her father is, do we? And now that the U.S Naval base at Dunoon has closed and the 21,000 men of the 6th Fleet have redeployed, it's unlikely that we ever will.

Still, you made one of them cum.

Alegedly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i traded them for your sweaty saggy ball bag...it has more experience of holding dead swimmers

I'm surprised you state that my swimmers are dead publicly here.

As privately you appear to have informed the C.S.A that i am the father of someone with the, somwhat bizarre nomenclature of "Pinnott Griggeeeooo, Skegness, Darren, Alone".

(presumably following the current fashion of the childs name being a reminder of its conception.)

you've just exposed quite publically the kind of first date you give a girl...darren. though, what kind of farther are you, you forget her third name is spam?

Precisely.

Still, you made one of them cum.

Alegedly.

21 million men couldnt erase the horror of your impression of fucking. But I continue to try

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

i traded them for your sweaty saggy ball bag...it has more experience of holding dead swimmers

I'm surprised you state that my swimmers are dead publicly here.

As privately you appear to have informed the C.S.A that i am the father of someone with the, somwhat bizarre nomenclature of "Pinnott Griggeeeooo, Skegness, Darren, Alone".

(presumably following the current fashion of the childs name being a reminder of its conception.)

you've just exposed quite publically the kind of first date you give a girl...darren. though, what kind of farther are you, you forget her third name is spam?

Precisely.

Still, you made one of them cum.

Alegedly.

21 million men couldnt erase the horror of your impression of fucking. But I continue to try "

Oh you're trying, no question about that.

MY impressions of fucking?

This from the woman whos "come hither" look makes her look like Mike Yarwood doing Harold Wilson.

(so few women smoke pipes these days)

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/09/10 14:38:40]

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i traded them for your sweaty saggy ball bag...it has more experience of holding dead swimmers

I'm surprised you state that my swimmers are dead publicly here.

As privately you appear to have informed the C.S.A that i am the father of someone with the, somwhat bizarre nomenclature of "Pinnott Griggeeeooo, Skegness, Darren, Alone".

(presumably following the current fashion of the childs name being a reminder of its conception.)

you've just exposed quite publically the kind of first date you give a girl...darren. though, what kind of farther are you, you forget her third name is spam?

Precisely.

Still, you made one of them cum.

Alegedly.

21 million men couldnt erase the horror of your impression of fucking. But I continue to try

Oh you're trying, no question about that.

MY impressions of fucking?

This from the woman whos "come hither" look makes her look like Mike Yarwood doing Harold Wilson.

(so few women smoke pipes these days)"

come hither?! it was more of a "fuck right off"....surely you should recognise that look by now?!

the pipe was the closest thing to hand and served the purpose of trying (unsuccesfully) to disguise the smell of your fetid breath whilst blocking you from being able to kiss me. your teeth are so yellow even dorothy mistook them for the yellow brick road and shane macgowan boaks when you smile

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

[Removed by poster at 08/09/10 14:59:57]

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

To be fair, the signs were all there for me to see this was going to be a disaster.

Right from the early mails where you talked about how you loved "Navy Shag" -i mistakenly assumed you had excellent taste in carpeting, rather than a penchant for pipes and pubescent pursers.

It looked like a "come hither" look to me.

I was mesmerised by your eyes and couldnt stop looking at them.

Unfortunately your left eye felt the same way about your right one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh i hear bells. For such hate must come from true love.......

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh i hear bells. For such hate must come from true love.......

hate? this is the on-line version of the tango!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be fair, the signs were all there for me to see this was going to be a disaster.

Right from the early mails where you talked about how you loved "Navy Shag" -i mistakenly assumed you had excellent taste in carpeting, rather than a penchant for pipes and pubescent pursers.

It looked like a "come hither" look to me.

I was mesmerised by your eyes and couldnt stop looking at them.

Unfortunately your left eye felt the same way about your right one.

they went into shock when they saw you, thanfully the paralysis was temporary as it gave me a chance to check out your profile pics again...and i must ask, can you set me up a date with the mate that posed for you...or is he gay too?

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Oh i hear bells. For such hate must come from true love.......

hate? this is the on-line version of the tango!"

TANGO!

I KNEW i had seen that shade of orange somewehere. Just not as an eyeshadow.

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Oh i hear bells. For such hate must come from true love.......

Hate? How naive you are madam.

In Scotland, we call this "Courting".

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"To be fair, the signs were all there for me to see this was going to be a disaster.

Right from the early mails where you talked about how you loved "Navy Shag" -i mistakenly assumed you had excellent taste in carpeting, rather than a penchant for pipes and pubescent pursers.

It looked like a "come hither" look to me.

I was mesmerised by your eyes and couldnt stop looking at them.

Unfortunately your left eye felt the same way about your right one.

The pictures are, in fact, of me. It was perhaps difficult for you to appreciate my adonistic qualities in the soft light as it filtered through your window.

From the blazing Mondeo in the street.

And you can only begin to imagine my surprise when, after arranging to meet based on the ONE picture you have on your profile, it turned out to be of your grandmother doing burlesque during the war.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be fair, the signs were all there for me to see this was going to be a disaster.

Right from the early mails where you talked about how you loved "Navy Shag" -i mistakenly assumed you had excellent taste in carpeting, rather than a penchant for pipes and pubescent pursers.

It looked like a "come hither" look to me.

I was mesmerised by your eyes and couldnt stop looking at them.

Unfortunately your left eye felt the same way about your right one.

The pictures are, in fact, of me. It was perhaps difficult for you to appreciate my adonistic qualities in the soft light as it filtered through your window.

From the blazing Mondeo in the street.

And you can only begin to imagine my surprise when, after arranging to meet based on the ONE picture you have on your profile, it turned out to be of your grandmother doing burlesque during the war.

again, i can only apologise for the neighbours torching your car, they feared it would bring down the value of their property.

had i realised you would be attracted by pictures of my granny, i would have invited her along...save me the effort

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"To be fair, the signs were all there for me to see this was going to be a disaster.

Right from the early mails where you talked about how you loved "Navy Shag" -i mistakenly assumed you had excellent taste in carpeting, rather than a penchant for pipes and pubescent pursers.

It looked like a "come hither" look to me.

I was mesmerised by your eyes and couldnt stop looking at them.

Unfortunately your left eye felt the same way about your right one.

The pictures are, in fact, of me. It was perhaps difficult for you to appreciate my adonistic qualities in the soft light as it filtered through your window.

From the blazing Mondeo in the street.

And you can only begin to imagine my surprise when, after arranging to meet based on the ONE picture you have on your profile, it turned out to be of your grandmother doing burlesque during the war.

again, i can only apologise for the neighbours torching your car, they feared it would bring down the value of their property.

had i realised you would be attracted by pictures of my granny, i would have invited her along...save me the effort"

No need to aplogise on your behalf. It was my own stupid fault. I should have known there would be trouble when the quizzical neighbours referred to it in wonder as a "Horseless Carriage".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you speak to both parties prior to meeting to ensure everyone is comfortable with the meet?

Do you meet socially prior to playing?

How do you select your playmates?

select them i want too shag them not join the SaS

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

had our fair share, but i find it hard to argue with a cock in my mouth, maybe thats the answer just fill the ladies mouth with cock lolo

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ollie_JCouple
over a year ago

London

As privately you appear to have informed the C.S.A that i am the father of someone with the, somwhat bizarre nomenclature of "Pinnott Griggeeeooo, Skegness, Darren, Alone".

(presumably following the current fashion of the childs name being a reminder of its conception.)

Sir i salute you... And even getting pinot right.. Sure you haven't got any bi in you..

Er want some?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As privately you appear to have informed the C.S.A that i am the father of someone with the, somwhat bizarre nomenclature of "Pinnott Griggeeeooo, Skegness, Darren, Alone".

(presumably following the current fashion of the childs name being a reminder of its conception.)

Sir i salute you... And even getting pinot right.. Sure you haven't got any bi in you..

Er want some?"

he certainly has something in him...i thought it was a huge pole, you may, however, be correct

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

And how often does the 6th Fleet moor up at Skegness?

Bridlington i could believe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And how often does the 6th Fleet moor up at Skegness?

Bridlington i could believe."

you might not find a matelot, but you can get a jolly roger

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

And how often does the 6th Fleet moor up at Skegness?

Bridlington i could believe.

you might not find a matelot, but you can get a jolly roger"

I rogered her.

But i wouldnt describe it as jolly.

You read about scurvy, but you don't expect to see it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met a couple years ago from another site, lovely couple, friendly warm etc. Said they had kids, but wasnt a problem. Invited me round and the kids were running about the place which made me feel like a right perv "who's that mummy?" they asked. "oh its Daddys friend". I was wondering when they would drop them off at the babysitter but no they just sent them upstairs to bed! Trying to play when you know their kids are upstairs and are bound to come down at some point as kids do when guests are over is REALLY off putting! Thankfully they were understanding when i said it made me very uncomfortable and we just chatted instead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And how often does the 6th Fleet moor up at Skegness?

Bridlington i could believe.

you might not find a matelot, but you can get a jolly roger

I rogered her.

But i wouldnt describe it as jolly.

You read about scurvy, but you don't expect to see it."

no, it wasn't jolly at all, it felt more like a sick joke and you were the punch-line.

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

hums a sweet little Cole Porter number.

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

And how often does the 6th Fleet moor up at Skegness?

Bridlington i could believe.

you might not find a matelot, but you can get a jolly roger

I rogered her.

But i wouldnt describe it as jolly.

You read about scurvy, but you don't expect to see it.

no, it wasn't jolly at all, it felt more like a sick joke and you were the punch-line."

Punch line?

Punch bag more like. It was strange looking into your eyes in bed one minute, and then seeing them again on the poster on the wall with you as the main attraction in a local bare knuckle boxing bout.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And how often does the 6th Fleet moor up at Skegness?

Bridlington i could believe.

you might not find a matelot, but you can get a jolly roger

I rogered her.

But i wouldnt describe it as jolly.

You read about scurvy, but you don't expect to see it.

no, it wasn't jolly at all, it felt more like a sick joke and you were the punch-line.

Punch line?

Punch bag more like. It was strange looking into your eyes in bed one minute, and then seeing them again on the poster on the wall with you as the main attraction in a local bare knuckle boxing bout."

speaking of which, can we go back to where I just beat you up physically, this is not as sexually arousing to me as it is to you....nothing new there perhaps, however....

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

And how often does the 6th Fleet moor up at Skegness?

Bridlington i could believe.

you might not find a matelot, but you can get a jolly roger

I rogered her.

But i wouldnt describe it as jolly.

You read about scurvy, but you don't expect to see it.

no, it wasn't jolly at all, it felt more like a sick joke and you were the punch-line.

Punch line?

Punch bag more like. It was strange looking into your eyes in bed one minute, and then seeing them again on the poster on the wall with you as the main attraction in a local bare knuckle boxing bout.

speaking of which, can we go back to where I just beat you up physically, this is not as sexually arousing to me as it is to you....nothing new there perhaps, however...."

Guess which one of us was brought up with violence and which one with violins...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And how often does the 6th Fleet moor up at Skegness?

Bridlington i could believe.

you might not find a matelot, but you can get a jolly roger

I rogered her.

But i wouldnt describe it as jolly.

You read about scurvy, but you don't expect to see it.

no, it wasn't jolly at all, it felt more like a sick joke and you were the punch-line.

Punch line?

Punch bag more like. It was strange looking into your eyes in bed one minute, and then seeing them again on the poster on the wall with you as the main attraction in a local bare knuckle boxing bout.

speaking of which, can we go back to where I just beat you up physically, this is not as sexually arousing to me as it is to you....nothing new there perhaps, however....

Guess which one of us was brought up with violence and which one with violins..."

that's what this is about, enjoying all those things previously denied us, surely?

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

So stop denying how much you want me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So stop denying how much you want me."

i'm getting help to prevent me from self-harming now

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"So stop denying how much you want me.

i'm getting help to prevent me from self-harming now"

That's good to hear.

Often the hardest part is admitting to yourself that you've got a problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So stop denying how much you want me.

i'm getting help to prevent me from self-harming now

That's good to hear.

Often the hardest part is admitting to yourself that you've got a problem."

the hardest part was actually saying your name without reaching for a razor

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By *razydriver8Couple
over a year ago

plymouth

Wow some fantastic insults dances and sensual

My thumb hurts from scrolling down on my phone. What was the op's original question?

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"So stop denying how much you want me.

i'm getting help to prevent me from self-harming now

That's good to hear.

Often the hardest part is admitting to yourself that you've got a problem.

the hardest part was actually saying your name without reaching for a razor"

Hard not to reach for a Razor?

I felt the same way about your legs. And toes...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So stop denying how much you want me.

i'm getting help to prevent me from self-harming now

That's good to hear.

Often the hardest part is admitting to yourself that you've got a problem.

the hardest part was actually saying your name without reaching for a razor

Hard not to reach for a Razor?

I felt the same way about your legs. And toes..."

careful, your envy is showing....i know you know how to spell alopecia...

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"So stop denying how much you want me.

i'm getting help to prevent me from self-harming now

That's good to hear.

Often the hardest part is admitting to yourself that you've got a problem.

the hardest part was actually saying your name without reaching for a razor

Hard not to reach for a Razor?

I felt the same way about your legs. And toes...

careful, your envy is showing....i know you know how to spell alopecia..."

Alopecia, 'tis a curse indeed.

I dream of the day when my chest is as hairy as your back.

Shaving a "Nike Swoosh" and the words "just do me" into it was nice of you though. Darling.

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By *amschwingerzCouple
over a year ago

West

Fcuk me...and people ask us why we dont swing! lol...I think I will cut and paste the link to this thread and send em it next time our stance is questioned! lol

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Fcuk me...and people ask us why we dont swing! lol...I think I will cut and paste the link to this thread and send em it next time our stance is questioned! lol"

You kidding?

She was one of my BETTER meets on here.

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By *amschwingerzCouple
over a year ago

West

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By *ovCpl40sCouple
over a year ago

coventry

All we can add to this is YES it has happened to us!! On more than 1 occasion

Worst 1 was with a cpl who had been swinging for 8yrs so we thought would know their own rules who at 1130 as we started "playing" she flew off the handle because mrsC insisted he use 1 of our condoms "shes latex intollerent so we use silicone ones).

After a few hours calming the situation it turned out she had discovered he was having an affair at work!!!!

The condom was just a convenient excuse for her to fly at him FFS.

Even worse was they left our house at somewhere between 4am and 7am (we had gone 2 bed leaving them "talking" in the living room) and they left our door wide fookin open!!!!

Thing is life goes on and so long as you are secure in your relationship the fact that others aren't might make things awkward for a little while but you move on!

Happy swinging folks xxxxxxxxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fcuk me...and people ask us why we dont swing! lol...I think I will cut and paste the link to this thread and send em it next time our stance is questioned! lol

You kidding?

She was one of my BETTER meets on here."

I was your only meet on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All we can add to this is YES it has happened to us!! On more than 1 occasion

After a few hours calming the situation it turned out she had discovered he was having an affair at work!!!!

The condom was just a convenient excuse for her to fly at him FFS.

Even worse was they left our house at somewhere between 4am and 7am (we had gone 2 bed leaving them "talking" in the living room) and they left our door wide fookin open!!!!

Thing is life goes on and so long as you are secure in your relationship the fact that others aren't might make things awkward for a little while but you move on!

Happy swinging folks xxxxxxxxxxxx"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/12/10 22:37:30]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/12/10 22:36:31]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/12/10 22:43:17]

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

Come on iconic you know you really want to say it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ill get there eventually lol, I did post something but then realised this thread was quite old and what I wanted to say wasnt relevant.

In relation to meets going wrong, I think it is all down to one of the couples overstepping the boundaries they have set. Whilst in swinging we are swapping partners, there is swapping and theres downright taking the piss and being all over someone elses man or woman which sometimes has little to do with the experience of swinging and more to do with trying to get one over on the other partner to as payback for a wrong they have committed

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

"Whilst in swinging we are swapping partners, there is swapping and theres downright taking the piss and being all over someone elses man or woman which sometimes has little to do with the experience of swinging and more to do with trying to get one over on the other partner to as payback for a wrong they have committed

Is this the time to get the pop corn out?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

god i hope so

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Fcuk me...and people ask us why we dont swing! lol...I think I will cut and paste the link to this thread and send em it next time our stance is questioned! lol

You kidding?

She was one of my BETTER meets on here.

I was your only meet on here"

No you werent.

But if you walk the walk like you talk the talk, you might be my last.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fcuk me...and people ask us why we dont swing! lol...I think I will cut and paste the link to this thread and send em it next time our stance is questioned! lol

You kidding?

She was one of my BETTER meets on here.

I was your only meet on here

No you werent.

But if you walk the walk like you talk the talk, you might be my last.

according to you, two minutes with you and i wont be able to walk....for a looong time!

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