FabSwingers.com forum: IT'S HARD FOR GUYS ON HERE, IT IS!

By *ookie10 OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester

I understand you ladies who say be patient, we will get round to replying but you can't blame a guy for trying. There are way many more men than women on here so its difficult being the guy, it really is unless your Brad Pitt that is so please have some sympathy ladies lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yu have been on for 3 weeks and had a meet.... well done and have fun..

there is lots of fun to be had ... it is all down the 'the guy' and 'how he conducts himself' nowt else........

good luck ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oops yu knew the lady before, soz my mistake ....

soz bud

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is like 'normal' life, the more effort etc you put into it the better the results......some come on here for a quick fix maybe? if they do, it's never going to happen!

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By *achaCouple
over a year ago

manchester

to stand out, i would suggest you add more pofile info and more pics.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"to stand out, i would suggest you add more profile info and more pics.

Exactly.

With there being more single males than single females/couples, those looking for single males have the pick of the crop (so to speak), so you guys need to stand out to get attention, take a look around at single guy profiles, find the well verified ones and take a leaf from their profile (not copy and paste).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What about an annual cull,like they do with the deer in Scotland,lol.

It would make things a bit easier for the ones that were left. (Joke);-)

XXXX

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"What about an annual cull,like they do with the deer in Scotland,lol.

It would make things a bit easier for the ones that were left. (Joke);-)

XXXX"

Yeah, I think I am just about ready for the knackers yard!! lol

seriously...though.. to the OP, I compare this place to like a pub... you don't expect the locals to take to you straight away, it takes time....

just be patient..... maybe that sort of patients helps seperate the nice ones from the not so nice ones....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think its hard to get a meet off of here and i meet as a single female, maybe its because i'm not a Angelina Jolie lookalike, i don't know, i've been on the site several months and i've only met 2 guys off here that i did'nt already know from other sites etc, i know men that have met more than that!

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

To the OP I do sympathise

Speak to anyone though couples,single fems,they all have stories to tell about how its not as easy as you think to find compatable playmates

Its all part of the fun though and when you meet some cool people it makes it all worth it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think a lot of people on here already have a circle of friends / playmates, so seldom play with new people, and when they do, they usually meet people they have already met socially, at socials etc, so the best advice would be to get more into the social aspect of the site and getting yourself known.

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By *elly12Couple
over a year ago

swindon

at least you put a face pic on i hate just cock pics and there are a lot of men on here that lie so we have to be carefull

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well your profile does contain a lot of negatives. After reading it, I would be in two minds whether to contact you or not. I would have said try and be a little more positive in it and see if that alters the replies you are getting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry should have had this in it as well!

"i think its hard to get a meet off of here and i meet as a single female, maybe its because i'm not a Angelina Jolie lookalike, i don't know, i've been on the site several months and i've only met 2 guys off here that i did'nt already know from other sites etc, i know men that have met more than that!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmmmmm not the blood bath i was expecting to see....everyone nice and mellow today? good good

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By *ishnchipsMan
over a year ago

Kingston

There is a massive no-man's-land between the FANTASY of swinging and the REALITY of swinging. So if a single guy expects to join a swinging site and get laid seven times a week, he is going to be disappointed. The reality is very different to the fantasy. I am myself roaming naively in the no-man's-land I speak off. In the same way, if a newbie couple expects that there first swingers party is going to be like the one in "Eyes Wide Shut", then they too will end up crestfallen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is a massive no-man's-land between the FANTASY of swinging and the REALITY of swinging. So if a single guy expects to join a swinging site and get laid seven times a week, he is going to be disappointed. The reality is very different to the fantasy. I am myself roaming naively in the no-man's-land I speak off. In the same way, if a newbie couple expects that there first swingers party is going to be like the one in "Eyes Wide Shut", then they too will end up crestfallen."
check out the meets n parties forum ya mite be suprised !!! xx

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

We havent been "swinging" long, and we consider ourselves to be very ordinary people, but find that it seems to come fairly naturally to us. Not sure why, and I dont really want to know, as then it may start to feel false, but it does seem that a combination of our profile, being chatty and friendly in the chatroom, meeting at swingers socials, and then meeting the same people at swingers parties, or clubs, tends to mean we get to play quite a lot. We also realised quite early on that we like to make friends and meet up socially as well, so people know we are not just here for the "wham, bam, goodbye" type of meets. Overall, this attitude has served us well, and luckily we dont have to work at it as thats exactly who we are. Ultimately, just be yourself, be honest and genuine, and people will find you, you will not have to try at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have summed it up so well ... I agree completely, and the social side is just as important!

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By *ishnchipsMan
over a year ago

Kingston

"check out the meets n parties forum ya mite be suprised !!! xx"

I am going to a party advertised on this site tonight, in fact. I really hope that I am surprised. We shall see!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to say that the swingers that are prepared to make a social effort, will in the end benefit from their socialising.

You can, by attending site socials, swingers clubs or house parties, level the playing field and leapfrog into the 'are meeting' people rather than loitering in the 'want to meet' people alongside the 80% of single males that choose the messaging route.

The majority of people seem to be content with messaging others on a daily basis, why ?. This has been shown time and time again on threads such as this one, to be, on the whole, pointless for the majority. People soon become despondent and negative they then rapidly become bitter with the scene.

We have practised what we are preaching, after seven days of being members of our first site we attended our first social. We still have friends that we met on that weekend. We soon after visited our first club, members of three reasonably local clubs now.

We have never understood those that are happy to sit content at home waiting for an opportunity to present itself, when they have so many other options that they can explore.

Couples and single females have to do the same, and it is daunting at first but the rewards can far outweigh the apprehension that we all feel.

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By *1dKingColeMan
over a year ago

east london

"Hmmmmm not the blood bath i was expecting to see....everyone nice and mellow today? good good

My thoughts exactly!

Thank you everyone for the sanity on this thread, It's worth saying again sometimes to the newbies!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I understand you ladies who say be patient, we will get round to replying but you can't blame a guy for trying. There are way many more men than women on here so its difficult being the guy, it really is unless your Brad Pitt that is so please have some sympathy ladies lol "

I think everything you require has been covered in detail apart from...

FFS, show some self esteem! All this its difficult malarky makes you sound weak, pathetic almost.

Be a man, stand by your principals and fun will follow even if your village is short of an idiot while u type "difficult" on here.

FFS.

Happy swinging xx

PS. Obviously the above should not be taken out of context. Basically it is saying "Keep the chin up" xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are we seeing the beginnings of a truescorpio2 ?

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Noooooooo!!! it could'nt happen twice could it lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Grrr let me at im Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

happy days LOL ,Be yourself have little patience hehe begining to njoy this post getting funny take care all mwah x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is difficult for the single guy on here, I've been on ages and only had one meet but I'm sure more will come. The great thing about this site and things in general nowadays is that it's a place for like minded people to hang out and chat in real time, I was a bit young pre internet days but I imagine things were a lot trickier then!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well your profile does contain a lot of negatives. After reading it, I would be in two minds whether to contact you or not. I would have said try and be a little more positive in it and see if that alters the replies you are getting."

does it? i just try to be honest, i assum you mean its negative because it says i'm fat, saying your fat is only seen as a negative thing if you don't like fat women, you say you'd be in two minds about replying to me after reading it so to me its a good thing because it saves your not replying to a woman your not going to like anyway, your right i could alter what i have put but at the end of the day they are still going to meet ME and if i big myself up to get moe replys, they just going to be from guys who wont like me so why do that, if someone dont reply to me because i have given a honest description of me they wont like me in the flesh if i lie to get more meets

I just try to be open and honest thats all, im not at all a negative person, anyone who has met me will tell you that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It is difficult for the single guy on here, I've been on ages and only had one meet but I'm sure more will come. The great thing about this site and things in general nowadays is that it's a place for like minded people to hang out and chat in real time, I was a bit young pre internet days but I imagine things were a lot trickier then! "

Aww FFS.

The words "Difficulty" and "trickier" have me thinking you believe this is a competition. Perhaps you have a special target you wish to reach. If this is the case I would allow your "cock" to breathe at the next photo session or it will never make it.

PS. The above thoughts are based on 2 words and a photo. The words are self explanatory but the photo comment could be construed as being rude. This is not my intention. I am merely pointing out the fact that if you look really closely at your tinged blue cock profile photo you can clearly see the japs eye gasping for breath and uttering help!

PPS. Loosen up my fellow single and you will meet every goal you set yourself. Happy swinging and good luck on your quest x

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By *im53Man
over a year ago

Boldon

i found this site 6mths ago and wow have never looked back got a meet nearly every weekend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i found this site 6mths ago and wow have never looked back got a meet nearly every weekend "

Superb news. You are a shining example to us all. x

Happy Swinging xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cheers for that i was trying to be positive to the OP in my reply, I guess writing was never my strong point. I'm not sure I follow how using the words difficult and trickier construed that I think it's a competition, just stating facts that being a single guy on here will get you passed by on a lot of occasions, and I'm not even complaining about that, just the way the wind blows round here.

P.S. I'm glad you enjoyed studying my picture so closely, I'm touched.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cheers for that i was trying to be positive to the OP in my reply, I guess writing was never my strong point. I'm not sure I follow how using the words difficult and trickier construed that I think it's a competition, just stating facts that being a single guy on here will get you passed by on a lot of occasions, and I'm not even complaining about that, just the way the wind blows round here.

P.S. I'm glad you enjoyed studying my picture so closely, I'm touched."

YOu should be touched, I was using reverse psychology so all the lovely ladies will look at your cock shot!

Dont take it personally, just some light banter and your writing is fine xx

Happy swinging xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah it's all good, gotta love a bit of banter, the reverse psychology angle went right over my head (was late when I replied) so for that I owe you a beer! I would use a facepic but I found too many women were falling in love just from the pic and it all got a bit much

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

There is lots of great advice on this thread for you .

Mine would be, it isn't like joining a queue at a burger place and ordering what you want for that night.

For many people, male female or couples it isn't straight away that they get meets, most don't want them that quick with people anyway.

Add to the forums, go in chat, that might get you noticed in the shortterm until you decide wether to go to a social or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some great examples of speaking one's mind while showing absolutely no tact. Nice.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Some great examples of speaking one's mind while showing absolutely no tact. Nice. "

And here was me thinking this thread was much better than the ones that have been before when single men post.

~~~off to read it again.

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

[Removed by poster at 26/05/09 07:13:44]

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

I empathise - I've been on Fab 2 years now and yet to have a meet. Anything on my profile (Verification/friends) I've met ages ago on other sites and been head-hunted back to hear.

Still waiting for that elusive first "contact-to-meet" Fabs initiation...

Won't complain though...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is there something up with me? In three weeks I've had one meet through another site, and one on here that is interested, but I've just turned one down. Body to die for, but spoke on the phone and "thought no thanks". It may sound daft from a bloke, but she just didn't come across as if I'd actually like her in RL. Well, actually the conversation was like pulling teeth, and the voice didn't really match the pictures.

Am I being too picky now?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i've been on here for a while now, and i seemto mostly get the "he's a really nice guy" quotes and verifications! i am a nice guy, but seems that it really doesn't get you very far! don't get me wrong, i thinkit's a great site, and i've met a couple of greast women, and got some good "chat " friends, but us guys are definately fighting against the crowd!

sometimes it would be nice to get a message back, even a "no thanks" at least shows an acknowledgement....and i know ladies, yo get hundreds of messages, and it's not easy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are some that do reply with a polite 'thanks, but no thanks'. I had one yesterday, and as dissappointing as it was, it was welcome. But I understand women not sending out negative replies. They probably get a lot of mail as it is, and most likely a lot of abuse from those that don't get the answer they want.

The single male tw@s on here make it difficult for everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am off to the pub later, I am gonna walk around all the tables with ladies sitting at them, I am gonna say

'hi sexy, great looking girl, bet yu look great in pics , fancy chatting on msn later or do you fancy hooking up at some point soon for sex ' ...

some will say :

1.thanks for asking but no ....

2.no thanks...

3. looks at pal and say's 'ffs avoid eye contact'.. and nothing more..

4. some 'fuck off....'

and you move from table to table ...

as a single guy:

do you expect meets daily, weekly, bi weekly , monthly ..

if you went to the pubs/nightclubs would you pick up a lady and have sex daily, weekly, bi weekly..... monthly

if guys arent happy with volume of meets , simple press 'delete profile button '...

and this is not a single guy bashing reply at all.... but yur expectations of ' volume ' of meets may need managing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know one thing...

If, god forbid I ever end up as a single guy.. coming on here moaning would be the 'last' thing ever to do on my list of how to meet peeps lol..

Women absolutely hate it ...

So while all you guys were moaning .. i'd dab in quick lol...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hey! not all of us where moaning

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is not hard in anyway for single guys on here.

Just have a reasonable profile, maybe a pic if you want, be polite and mingle, either in the forum or by messaging. Yes, you will get knock backs as you would in a pub or club, but in the end, you get out what you put in.

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

you all need to get yourselves to The Pussy Posse Beach Party!

You'll soon find out how hard it is for the Single men!!!!!

**Maddie runs away cackling**

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"you all need to get yourselves to The Pussy Posse Beach Party!

You'll soon find out how hard it is for the Single men!!!!!

**Maddie runs away cackling**"
as long as the single men are hard .....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always reply to my messages, Manners cost nothing.

Even ones that just make you shake your head...I will email them and tell them the error of thier ways lol.

If men already know that a decent profile, the ability to converse and pictures are the way forward ( in some peoples opinon), then why are so many still so vague!

You do indeed get out what you put in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We agree, the more effort you put in on the first message, the more you will get out. We only don't reply to the message that say "hi, I love your pics, fancy meeting", come on put some effort in! We like to know about you before we are gonna have you round! We are here for friends and fun!

M+J

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lamb to the slaughter, but does anyone want to give my profile a once over? Please be gentle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are some that do reply with a polite 'thanks, but no thanks'. I had one yesterday, and as dissappointing as it was, it was welcome. But I understand women not sending out negative replies. They probably get a lot of mail as it is, and most likely a lot of abuse from those that don't get the answer they want.

The single male tw@s on here make it difficult for everyone

think that about sums it up, guys seem to think if a woman talks to them on here its half way to getting in their pants, i will personally talk to anyone, does not mean i want to play with them, i remember one night in a club i spent about half a hour chatting to a guy who then asked me if i wanted to go to a room and when i said no thanks his reply was.....well why have you just spent the last half hour talking to me then!!?.....and its the same on here if you chat to someone and then say you don't want to meet they come back is usually, well i dont have to come on here i can do loads better than you anyway etc, or they call you fat/ugly and tell you you cant afford to be so picky lol so it really is hard as a woman to know what to do, are you freindly and talk to everyone? or only the ones you want to meet? personally if i ever get to the point that i wont talk to men i don't fancy i'll stop swinging, so i just put up with the childish comments

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lamb to the slaughter, but does anyone want to give my profile a once over? Please be gentle

"
nice profile open and not up yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lamb to the slaughter, but does anyone want to give my profile a once over? Please be gentle

Sharpens the knife.......oh thats right you dont do S&M...my bag lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/05/09 18:10:13]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like extreme! lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So that narrows it down to my e-mail skills that need tweaking

And the knife maybe extreme, but as for the other, I never knock something until I've tried it

naughtynymphos : "say you don't want to meet they come back is usually, well i dont have to come on here i can do loads better than you anyway etc"

Thats not just here, or swinging sites. Women get that on dating sites as well. Hell, even I got a woman throwing that kind of tantrum. But when they do that, you know you where right on the money when you said no thanks

Deleted and edited for grammar that had my english teacher rolling in his grave. Then again, he's been doing that since I buried him the garden. How long before someone runs out of oxygen?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry Miss F, you moved kind of fast then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry Miss F, you moved kind of fast then.

lol It has been known.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really? Care to show me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Really? Care to show me

There you go.

Did you miss it?

I did say I was fast.......lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've left scorch marks on my trousers. Thats impressive in itself, but on the inside?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You've left scorch marks on my trousers. Thats impressive in itself, but on the inside?"

Talented and fast.....what can I say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Talented and fast.....what can I say."

I don't know, you've left me tongue tied. But by the sound of it, you like it that way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Talented and fast.....what can I say.

I don't know, you've left me tongue tied. But by the sound of it, you like it that way

Tongue and tied.......what a delicious combination!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well, you can tempt me with half of that sentence, the other half we can work on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well, you can tempt me with half of that sentence, the other half we can work on."

Do I come across as a woman who compromises????? lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Possibly not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

anyhoo. apologies for hijacking the thread with banter...heres the original post to put back on track.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This site is about having fun, not just getting into someones pants. Getting to know someone makes the anticipation of a meet all the better, so what if it takes 3 weeks or 3 months. Go with the flow.

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By *entadreadMan
over a year ago

Essex

"This site is about having fun, not just getting into someones pants. Getting to know someone makes the anticipation of a meet all the better, so what if it takes 3 weeks or 3 months. Go with the flow."

Why not have both, fun and meet without waiting for ages???

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By *inge61Couple
over a year ago

n/wales

well said we had a guy of another site wanted to meet and have HIS WAY LOL dont need pushy guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This site is about having fun, not just getting into someones pants. "

oh damnit, I'm on the wrong site again.

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

I only want to get in their pants. Why the feck would I want to get to know them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i've been on here for a while now, and i seemto mostly get the "he's a really nice guy" quotes and verifications! i am a nice guy, but seems that it really doesn't get you very far! don't get me wrong, i thinkit's a great site, and i've met a couple of greast women, and got some good "chat " friends, but us guys are definately fighting against the crowd!

sometimes it would be nice to get a message back, even a "no thanks" at least shows an acknowledgement....and i know ladies, yo get hundreds of messages, and it's not easy!"

CANT REPLY TO U AS UR PROFILE SAYS NO LONGER A USER!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sometimes it would be nice to get a message back, even a "no thanks" at least shows an acknowledgement....and i know ladies, yo get hundreds of messages, and it's not easy!

CANT REPLY TO U AS UR PROFILE SAYS NO LONGER A USER!!"

another one must of spat his dummy out and left lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sometimes it would be nice to get a message back, even a "no thanks" at least shows an acknowledgement....and i know ladies, yo get hundreds of messages, and it's not easy!

CANT REPLY TO U AS UR PROFILE SAYS NO LONGER A USER!!"

another one must of spat his dummy out and left lol

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