FabSwingers.com forum: Gender, Sexuality and Kissing

By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Does our view of kissing vary based on our gender, our sexuality or is it just an individual thing?

Most (not quite all) of the straight women I know find kissing to be a very personal/intimate thing and say they won’t kiss guys they don’t find sexually appealing and I have to say I fall into that category. However, I will (and enjoy it) kiss women in a play situation, even though I am not sexually attracted to women…. I just need to think they are nice people and be in the right situation. Most of the bi women I know say they need to fancy either gender before kissing them.

I know more guys who say they can, have or do kiss women they are not sexually attracted to… usually if it means they’ll get a blow-job out of it lol

I know a few bi and gay guys who will kiss women they don’t find sexually attractive, but are fussy about which men they kiss.

Then there are couples who choose to exclude kissing form their sexual activities with others – but that’s a different kettle of fish as it is about an agreement rather than the actual desire to kiss or not.

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By *adyPenelopeWoman
over a year ago

worcestershire

I think it's likely just an individual thing. I feel compelled to kiss someone I find sexually attractive, otherwise I don't get the impulse.

Having said that... I have been kissed by someone I didn't find attractive (taken by surprise) and couldn't stop my body reacting. They kissed very well and although my brain was telling me to pull away, my body was doing the opposite.

Life can be so hard at times lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally couldnt have sex with someone without kissing them.

I have always found it a little odd with regards those who find it so personal they will do everything else but!

You may place your tongue and lips on every part of my body, in the most imtimate of areas........but kissing is too personal!!!!

A good kiss can make you go weak at the knees and come over all unnecessary.

Would I have to find them sexually attractive, regardless of gender...yes.

Oh and men that kiss like women....wow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kissing always gets the juices going for me

If they're not so attractive, keep your eyes closed!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that kissing is so horny and really gets things hot before the real action starts but there are many people who say that this is too intimate and should only be reserved for their partner. Each to their own and as a single guy I have to respect their wishes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not horny and hot if they are trying to retrieve your lunch though lol

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By *eznhannahCouple
over a year ago

leeds

we have a bit of an odd rule when it comes to kissing, but its what we are comftable with,

hannah kisses girls (and often) but we dont kiss members of the opposite sex,(and i dont kiss boys lol) it is intimate, and its the one thing we like to hold back for ourselves, which begs the question, and it has been asked, why does hannah kiss girls then? the answer ...cos its 2 girls kissing lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Find the no kissing rule a little weird but then most of my freinds are suprised to learn that craig although bi hates kissing men and cannot even watch two men kiss lol xxx

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By *lgernonMan
over a year ago

cupar

I'm (bi) pretty picky about the people I kiss. If I dont fancy someone, I wont kiss them. Simple. Unless its out of charity sometimes or I think someone deserves it.

Dont see the point of kissing/screwing/kinking with people I am not attracted to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

kissings always been a odd one, personally i love kissing and could'nt have sex with someone i had met without kissing them, if i was'nt sexually attracted to them enough to kiss them i would'nt be playing with them in the first place.....but lol that only really applies in a private situation like meeting someone off here or even going into a private room in club, if im in a open room in a club i tend to slack on that, i think because big group situation tend not to be so personal and you never really get as close to someone as you would one on one, and altho i would'nt play with someone, even in that situation, i found really unattractive i will give a bj to a guy i would'nt normally play with or go into a private room with or kiss, bit of a odd one but to me i really think it depends on the situation your in rather than the person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I personally couldnt have sex with someone without kissing them.

I have always found it a little odd with regards those who find it so personal they will do everything else but!

You may place your tongue and lips on every part of my body, in the most imtimate of areas........but kissing is too personal!!!!

A good kiss can make you go weak at the knees and come over all unnecessary.

Would I have to find them sexually attractive, regardless of gender...yes.

Oh and men that kiss like women....wow

thats always how i have seen it, you can have sex and you can make love, making love is what you do with someone you care about, sex is wht you do with someone off of here, now its the emotion you feel about the person you with that makes it sex or making love and if you can take the emotion out of sex and turn sex into something thats not personal and ment to be kept with just one person, why not kissing? sex with a stranger is just that, kissing a stranger is just that

I have never met a single off of these sites that do the no kissing rule its always couples, i think its because they feel threatened seeing their partner kiss someone of the opposit sex, otherwise why do men feel its ok for their mrs to snog a woman but not a guy? if couples don't kiss because its to personal why is it not to personal for the two women to kiss? is it because they don't see two women as real sex but just forplay for the guys to get off on, but hes not going to get off on watching his mrs snog another guy so not point her doing it? dunno, never understood it myself lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Strewth! Who'd have thought kissing would stimulate such debate when there's so much aparently raunch stuff here!

Kissing can get me hotter and harder than all maner of acrobatics.

My theory is simple. It depends on how horny you are. I'm nu and my hornyometer goes from slipping tongue to busty blonde female [which I have to say covers 90% of the girls here] and puting tongue to unshaven bloby male dom. I'll do the first when I'm not that turned on, but will do the dom when I'm raging horny! Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

whats kissing lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll kiss anyone I find attractive, male or female but won't go near them if I don't.

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"I'll kiss anyone I find attractive, male or female but won't go near them if I don't."

Attractive as people or sexually attractive?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We love kissing.. Simple x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll kiss anyone I find attractive, male or female but won't go near them if I don't.

Attractive as people or sexually attractive?"

Both.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

IN EDIT (you can't edit threads here?)Both

...and I'm quickly heading down the route now of not playing with bi guys who won't kiss because a) it feels a bit clinical b) I love kissing and c) it takes me ages to get a stiffy without the kissing bit lol x

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"IN EDIT (you can't edit threads here?)Both

Hhhhmmmmm..... I can think of a few examples where that's not been the case lol.... finding people sexually attractive that is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"IN EDIT (you can't edit threads here?)Both

Hhhhmmmmm..... I can think of a few examples where that's not been the case lol.... finding people sexually attractive that is."

I said attractive, not SEXUALLY attractive and I'm intrigued as to your sudden interest in what, how and why I do with who to be honest.. and just a little bit pissed off that suddenly I find myself being mentioned/discussed in two of your threads on here, one of which I didn't even know was running.

I'll be taking a 'back seat' for a while I think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can someone explain why they find kissing more intimate than having sex with someone? Serious question, not meant to offend.

Of course, everyone sees and treats their bodies differently, but for me kissing is a huge thing. Almost to the point if someone's not a good kisser, he's not a good player.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can someone explain why they find kissing more intimate than having sex with someone? Serious question, not meant to offend.

Of course, everyone sees and treats their bodies differently, but for me kissing is a huge thing. Almost to the point if someone's not a good kisser, he's not a good player. "

If Im honest there really is no explanation other than for us its intimate, I wish I could say more but it just doesnt feel right for us, so we dont do it.

Simples lol x

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By *eznhannahCouple
over a year ago

leeds

absolutely nothing to do with feeling threatend or any of the above, its about us holding somthing back,

if you dont understand it ask or read the other forum posts, because to us, as a non kissing couple that post is way off mark,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sex is intimate.......

Sharing your body is intimate.

One thing you can't share with others normally though... Is Love!

That always remains... surely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

must admit i love a nice smooch lol....but have met cpl that had no kissing rule....which didnt bother me...found it tad strange and had to restrain myself!! ...must admit dont think would meet a single fem who didnt kiss!!

either way always have to be attracted to them....couldnt just kiss anyone lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh yes Notts definatly agree with you on that one, I dont know maybe we are just weird ones but we feel kissing is alot more intimate than sex, we have tried it and it didnt feel right for either of us, so we wont do it again, so far it hasnt been a problem at all, lets hope it continues lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Okay call me thick...(your own risk lol)

But I am really not getting the no kissing bit!

When you first strike up a relationship, the first stage is kissing....is it not?

Even one night stands I presume lead from a kiss.

The chemistry from a kiss is surely one of the deciding factors as to how much further you will go with that person.

You wouldnt meet and go straight to fucking without kissing..would you?

I see it ( and this is only my opinion)

that kissing is the first stage of foreplay and although an intimate act, I find letting someone explore my rather jucier bits, to taste you and have you there and open to them a far more intimate act than kissing.

Nothing to do with sex, which can be done with absolutely no emotion if required, as someone stated I think...a fuck is a fuck basically, foreplay I feel is the intimate bit.

I am missing something arent I! lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Okay call me thick...(your own risk lol)

But I am really not getting the no kissing bit!

When you first strike up a relationship, the first stage is kissing....is it not?

Even one night stands I presume lead from a kiss.

The chemistry from a kiss is surely one of the deciding factors as to how much further you will go with that person.

You wouldnt meet and go straight to fucking without kissing..would you?

I see it ( and this is only my opinion)

Nothing to do with sex, which can be done with absolutely no emotion if required, as someone stated I think...a fuck is a fuck basically, foreplay I feel is the intimate bit.

I am missing something arent I! lol"
You're not missing anything in my opinion, I think your post is spot on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Okay call me thick...(your own risk lol)

But I am really not getting the no kissing bit!

When you first strike up a relationship, the first stage is kissing....is it not?

Even one night stands I presume lead from a kiss.

The chemistry from a kiss is surely one of the deciding factors as to how much further you will go with that person.

You wouldnt meet and go straight to fucking without kissing..would you?

I see it ( and this is only my opinion)

Nothing to do with sex, which can be done with absolutely no emotion if required, as someone stated I think...a fuck is a fuck basically, foreplay I feel is the intimate bit.

I am missing something arent I! lolYou're not missing anything in my opinion, I think your post is spot on."

Me too. I couldn't imagine somebody kissing my intimate bits without kissing me properly. As you say its the natural first step ........ well it is for me anyway.

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By *1dKingColeMan
over a year ago

east london

"Okay call me thick...(your own risk lol)

But I am really not getting the no kissing bit!

When you first strike up a relationship, the first stage is kissing....is it not?

Even one night stands I presume lead from a kiss.

The chemistry from a kiss is surely one of the deciding factors as to how much further you will go with that person.

You wouldnt meet and go straight to fucking without kissing..would you?

I see it ( and this is only my opinion)

Nothing to do with sex, which can be done with absolutely no emotion if required, as someone stated I think...a fuck is a fuck basically, foreplay I feel is the intimate bit.

I am missing something arent I! lolYou're not missing anything in my opinion, I think your post is spot on.

Me too. I couldn't imagine somebody kissing my intimate bits without kissing me properly. As you say its the natural first step ........ well it is for me anyway.

xx"

100% agreement! If someone says 'no kissing' it's like a wall is up or it's an obstacle to work round; it really stops the flow of things.

The mouth is a critical part of foreplay and kissing is am important part of that!

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By *eznhannahCouple
over a year ago

leeds

dont know about other non kissers but its not really the intamcy thing with us, its just we like to have somthing us and only us do to each other, suppose we could have picked anything lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"dont know about other non kissers but its not really the intamcy thing with us, its just we like to have somthing us and only us do to each other, suppose we could have picked anything lol"

Thanks. I didnt want to turn this into a debate on whether it was right or wrong etc, just curious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well with us we only meet at clubs and I (kate) can honestly say that as yet nobody had declined to play with us based on our no kissing rule, maybe people percieve it differently when playing at clubs?

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

Well yeah you could have picked on anything... but so many pick kissing don't they. Why not pick on 'no kissing my feet' or 'no coming in my mouth'?

From our point of view love kissing and we love snogging too. We've met a fair few couples who don't kiss (it doesn't put us off meeting them if we fancy them) but we do find it a rather more clinical affair having sex with someone who doesn't want to kiss you.

What we find really really odd - and could someone to explain this properly with actual reason - is couples who think it is fine for the fems to snog the faces off each other but no other kissing is allowed??

And please don't say it is about 'putting on a show' for the guys - Ju would not get down and horny with a fem if she thought that they didn't mean it... and she really can tell the difference.

Some folks say it's about 'holding something back'. Gez and Hannah you say that too - but could we ask if we may..... Why the hell would anyone want to hold something back when they are shagging a stranger for the first time (or a new found/regular meet friend)?

If you gonna do it do it surely you should do it properly, and give it your 110% ? Anything less is a little disrespectful of your new found buddy (or one night stand) isn't it?

xxxxx

ju & rich

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

RichnJudy ye understand what you are saying completly, with us its just something that is very important to us in our relationship, something we do not nessecarily ( cant spell that- on the wine lol) for sex but to have a 'loving' moment so we do like to keep that just for ourselves.

I dont think its disrespectful to others when they are aware of this before hand. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

haven't yet come across anyone who doesn't kiss and must admit we would find it really odd - after all surely this is all about being turned on and naughty in front of each other as well as wanting to give as much pleasure as you can to the other partners involved. Dont think we could go further with people that didn't but then again life is full of suprises but just cant see how it would work.

D and P xx

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By *teve_SoleilCouple
over a year ago

Malaysia

Kissing is more of a couples thing...you know like how it's great to have first kiss, good night kiss and goodbye kiss....it's not associated with sex...it's more intimate then sex...people are different that's why it's harder for some to understand because their heart and mind works differently...:D

I think it's just another rule put due to choices and decisions...just like how some couples refuses bi actions...or separate room...just their personal choices...:D

And yeah...most couples would say the reason they don't allow kissing is because they want to keep something which only they can do to each other...special treat...so it doesn't feel like swinging is having sex with a lover but more like with a stranger...:D

For me, it'll be a tell tale signs that I am still in control of my mind...:D...so I know I won't end up doing others things I don't want to just because I am caught up in the moment...:D

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By *teve_SoleilCouple
over a year ago

Malaysia

I think it's just another rule put due to choices and decisions...just like how some couples refuses bi actions...or separate room...just their personal choices...:D

For me, it'll be a tell tale signs that I am still in control of my mind...:D...so I know I won't end up doing others things I don't want to just because I am caught up in the moment...:D

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By *teve_SoleilCouple
over a year ago

Malaysia

why are there two posts???...:O

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Forum stutter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

wow yes exactly well done lol x

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By *eznhannahCouple
over a year ago

leeds

"Well yeah you could have picked on anything... but so many pick kissing don't they. Why not pick on 'no kissing my feet' or 'no coming in my mouth'?

And please don't say it is about 'putting on a show' for the guys - Ju would not get down and horny with a fem if she thought that they didn't mean it... and she really can tell the difference.

If you gonna do it do it surely you should do it properly, and give it your 110% ? Anything less is a little disrespectful of your new found buddy (or one night stand) isn't it?

xxxxx

ju & rich"

fair comment but for us its not meant to be a block or a slur on the other couple, when we started swinging five years ago we talked about it, and decided that there would be 3 rules no bareback, if we ever row about any aspect of swinging we would stop, and no kissing, we wanted to hold back somthing for ourselves, its not a rule that has evolved or anything like that because every couple we have met has been fine with it, we know that it does sound a bit like double standards cos hannah kisses girls, but that is just what we are happy doing, i dont think there would be jelousy issues or any thing like that if we did kiss oposite sex, but would maybe feel we betrayed our rules from when we started which over the years have brought us so many mad wonderfull experiences, your right we could have said no oral sex,or no doggy but kept kissing as there is a bit more soul, although one other important factor is i was hannahs first boyfriend, lol and the first boy she kissed properly, and to this date still the only boy she has kissed

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By *eznhannahCouple
over a year ago

leeds

or should that be man lol

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"Kissing is more of a couples thing...you know like how it's great to have first kiss, good night kiss and goodbye kiss....it's not associated with sex...it's more intimate then sex...people are different that's why it's harder for some to understand because their heart and mind works differently...:D

We soooooo totally agree.

When i met Jase (and remember we met in a swingers club), he was the one that put in the no kissing rule and I wholeheartedly agreed with him.

To US, swinging is about sex and sexually liberated fun. Kissing is about emotion and the feelings we have for each other. We keep it for ourselves becausxe it IS something we can keep that is personal.

We only do one nighters with others (apart from one lovely couple who we've known for years and they also have a no kissing rule). So the act of swinging is an act of sex.

We've never had anyone refuse to meet us because we don't kiss and I suspect we never will. It's all about personal choice.

Yes, I will kiss another woman but as I'm only playfully bi, it's just sex.

I can't explain it properly, and it's each to their own, but I know plenty of couples who keep just 1 thing for themselves, so why not kissing!

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

@maddie

Well as we said - we have met quite a few couples who don't kiss, and it doesn't put us off meeting them if we fancy them, but we do find sex with them has a more clinical aspect. Which probably just goes to show how large a part kissing plays when you are having sex.

So we have had experience of those on both sides of the fence. We prefer those who like to kiss but don't avoid the ones who don't.

There is different sort of kissing though isn't there. Passionate kissing vs affectionate kissing - we only really do the former with swinging partners. So are we still keeoing something for ourselves... hmmm

@jed & hannah

Yes when we first started we had 3 rules too - no anal/pain/watersports, same room only, and if we ever disagree or argue about swinging we stop.

Of those three - Ju did try anal once and found she really didn't like it so that rule stays (rich never tried anal apart from one lady who shoved the hitachi magic wand up his bum unnanounced)! He says 'it was alright actually' but has not had the urge to try it again though after 2 mins it did cause another rather more urgent urge at the time!

The Same room only rule - we banished long ago by mutual decision. Which shows that rules can evolve and not cause a problem for either party.

The only one of those three we always retained is the one about disagreement and arguing, actually we think that is the most important rule anyone could ever have.

xxxx

kisses

ju & rich

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"@maddie

Exactly, it's sex. Not emotion, not affection, not love...... just sex.

And in MY life, kissing plays a huge part when I'm making love with Jason.

As I don't make love to anyone else, I don't need the kissing. Nor do those who feel the same why as we do.

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

Well you probably know us a little by now maddie - easy going is probably an understatement lol

We'll keep on kissing those who like it, and keep on meeting those who don't, regardless.

By the way maddie - do you kiss fems when playing?

xxx

ju & rich

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We couldn't have sex with someone without kissing them.Its all part and parcel of swinging and is why we say on our profile we don't meet non kissers.

Trace loves a good snog with either sex and we both see it as a prologue and epilogue to sex.

Surely if your going to keep something "special" back for yourselves,there are far more intimate acts to keep,anal,oral etc.

Sex is an action and love is an emotion. For the most part,its the swingers ability to accept that fact that enables them to be swingers.As opposed to vanillas,who can't seem to differentiate the two.

Yes,Trace and I kiss each other with love,we kiss swing partners with lust.

It's the emotion behind our kisses between each other that is special. However it doesn't stop us kissing others.

Just a thought,what do non kissers do at Christmas or Birthday parties, when someone asks for a Birthday or Christmas snog? Or is it O.K if their partners aren't around to be upset?

I'm not having a go,as I said,its just a thought.

XXXX

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"Well you probably know us a little by now maddie - easy going is probably an understatement lol

We'll keep on kissing those who like it, and keep on meeting those who don't, regardless.

By the way maddie - do you kiss fems when playing?

xxx

ju & rich"

If you read my posts properly, and not just the parts you wish to pick the bones from.......... you would see that I've already answered that question.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well.. my normal answer is whatever makes you comfy, so lng as happy and its clear to others and they have no objections, then its whats right for you at that time.. Doesn't matter what we or anyone else thinks.. We kiss, we like kissing..

Its healthy to ask if its the norm.. Nothing is normal lol..

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By *teve_SoleilCouple
over a year ago

Malaysia

"We couldn't have sex with someone without kissing them.Its all part and parcel of swinging and is why we say on our profile we don't meet non kissers.

Trace loves a good snog with either sex and we both see it as a prologue and epilogue to sex.

Surely if your going to keep something "special" back for yourselves,there are far more intimate acts to keep,anal,oral etc.

Yes,Trace and I kiss each other with love,we kiss swing partners with lust.

It's the emotion behind our kisses between each other that is special. However it doesn't stop us kissing others.

Just a thought,what do non kissers do at Christmas or Birthday parties, when someone asks for a Birthday or Christmas snog? Or is it O.K if their partners aren't around to be upset?

I'm not having a go,as I said,its just a thought.

XXXX

I don't really do anal...I guess anal is special on the guy part...because at least I sometimes enjoy anal but not too much...and the reason only he's allowed to do it becuase I am very concious as anal triggers other stuff...and he doesn't like it that much too....so no...it's not special..:D...and not as intimate as it is usually done doggy style...:D...

Oral...well...I love receiving oral..and I don't mind not giving oral...but we started with soft swing...so I started with giving oral...:D...so not that special...besides..I also give oral to dildos...:D....too lubricate it...

Kissing on the other hands...mouth to mouth that is...feels more intimate....as you look into each others eyes and tempted to get your lips close to each other...I don't mind people kissing, biting, licking my neck and below though..:D

Christmas and Birthday snog?...I don't celebrate religious holidays so I dunno about christmas kissing...but I am sure I wouldn't do it just because it's christmas...same with birthdays...I wouldn't kiss/fuck just because it's that fella's birthday...:D...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The reference to anal or oral wasn't to be taken literaly.It was used as a 'for instance' because of these acts high levels of intimacy.

As a footnote,any fear of unpleasantness associated with anal sex can be overcome by a couple of douches before a meet.Its all down to preperation.

XXXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just remembered the Daddy of kiss fests,"New Years Eve".Fancy forgetting that!

Who can get away without a snog then?

XXXX

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By *teve_SoleilCouple
over a year ago

Malaysia

"The reference to anal or oral wasn't to be taken literaly.It was used as a 'for instance' because of these acts high levels of intimacy.

As a footnote,any fear of unpleasantness associated with anal sex can be overcome by a couple of douches before a meet.Its all down to preperation.

XXXX"

I was not taking it literally but was giving an explanation based on your example...:D...what I was trying to say is that...some acts that is seen as intimate or enjoyable...may not be seen as intimate or enjoyable by others...and anal is a great example as most guys see it as an intimate act cause most girls forbid it...:D...while some girls don't see it as an intimate sex act...:D

and my answers for New Years Eve is the same...I won't go around kissing people just because it's New Years Eve...:D...and all my New Years Eve has been spent by kissing and spending time with the person I love...:D

on a footnote: I know about douche...but I don't enjoy anal...and don't allow it...so that's why I don't prepare for it before meets...:D

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

If you read my posts properly, and not just the parts you wish to pick the bones from.......... you would see that I've already answered that question.

Sorry we apologise for missing that.

As best we understand what you are saying, is that because fem on fem sex is never 'making love' regardless of whether kissing is involved or not?

xxx

j&r

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

If you read my posts properly, and not just the parts you wish to pick the bones from.......... you would see that I've already answered that question.

Sorry we apologise for missing that.

As best we understand what you are saying, is that because fem on fem sex is never 'making love' regardless of whether kissing is involved or not?

xxx

j&r

I feel no need to justify myself, my relationship or my swinging rules to you or anyone else.

I use the forums for a bit of fun and to see what others have to say. I suspect that by too being nosey, or trying to subtley ingrain my opinions on others, the other forumites would soon tire of me.

You have your rules and we have ours. I am personally, starting to find it offensive that you feel the need to pick apart my posts, and your 'why' why' 'why' mentality is starting to get more than a little wearing.

"I think we shall have to agree to disagree on many aspects of swinging. Although, after being on the scene for 10 years, I can't have got it THAT wrong can I? So, you and your husband do what you feel is appropriate and myself and my gorgeous and extremely popular husband will trundle along, quite happily, meeting many fantastic people and having lots of lovely fun.

My instinct and my intellect tell me that this may not be the end of this particular sorry saga, but I will be the better person and back off from the bulk of the threads you post on to ensure that I, at least, save face."

End of.........!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i dont think anybody should have to justify themselves for the rules that are made in a relationship regarding swinging, at the end of the day you are in it to please yourselves and nobody else!!

every body must have some kind of rule towards swinging that differ from some peoples!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If we all swung swang or swinged the same way what fun would there be in that?

The lifestyle allows for each and every one to be different and find their own match in a person, couple or group.

Kissing for example is either done or not done but to say it is not a part of making love when fem on fem is probably going to antagonise lesbian and bi female couples - it is marginalising their relationships and how they feel about each other, do they just shag with no feelings then?

We dont do anal or kiss or meet and shag without getting to know someone a little first if we dont fit someones idea of how they feel we should swing the simple answer is dont contact us, we have met many who do match our preferences and a good time was had by all.

Maddie you dont have justify anything to anyone except you and Jase - simples!! lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The thing with all this is tollerances of others and others feelings.. We all have our rules.. or as we prefer to say our 'preferences'.

Now as much as some of ours may irritate someone else or visa versa we'd never ask anyone to change for our sake.. nor I doubt, unless truly comfortable, change ours for them.

Its got to be said though.. the picking apart of posts to nit pick on certain points really is a bit childish.. Sometimes some things are best left alone and unsaid... Something even I am learning to do... slowly!

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

OK fair do's. We thought we were amongst the most tolerant and easy going of swingers there are...... but will take on board what you have said as we are obviously antagonising people here.

Perhaps people just come over different on forums and questions are viewed in a different light than if they were raised in face to face conversation.

xxx

Ju & Rich

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

@maddie

Hi maddie on reflection this morning we were going to message you personally and apologise for our recent posts.

Unfortunately as you have us blocked we can't do that, we've never sent an aggressive or abusive PM to you or anyone else but we can quite understand why you may think we would.

However we are not above apologising to you in public so that is what we will do.

We have crossed swords with you on the forums many many times - from our very first post as we recall. And to be honest it used to be fun.

We enjoy some lively debate and you are a good opponent (for want of a better word) but this has gone a bit too far now and you are correct to say so.

Although it's not particularly a justifiable reason for nit-picking at your posts, at least we do owe you an explanation.

In the past some of the things you have posted regards on the forums us have been rather aggressive and degrading towards us (in the same way the one above is) and while neither of us are the sort to be cajoled into responding in the same manner - it kinda subconciously 'got our goat' and we have been getting back in our own way.

So we think you are right to say draw a line under it hence this apology.

We're gonna back off the forums for a bit now to reflect on things. And we are gonna back off from your posts permanently.

That's not to say we'd never again question or disagree with anything you say, but we can see why you are upset by the way in which we have been doing it, to a fair it was intended to antagonise you for the reason we stated above and yes in retrospect, yes that was rather childish.

We doubt we'll ever get to 'kiss and make up' but when we do post back on the forums we assuere you it will be in a friendlier manner

xxx

ju & rich

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