FabSwingers.com forum: Bareback

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

obviously STDS are on the rise, and swinging can offen lead you to 'barebacking' with unsafe people, but who still does it, and how do you ensure safe sex?

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By *woBiTwoCouple
over a year ago

north manchester

"obviously STDS are on the rise, and swinging can offen lead you to 'barebacking' with unsafe people, but who still does it, and how do you ensure safe sex?"

...safe while barebacking is a bit of an oxymoron. We wont do it, and no one we've net so far wants too, thank goodness! No way to ensure safe sex if you practice this most unsafe style...and I dont think many people will want to meet anyone who asks for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

u ensure safe sex by carrying condoms

an by having then when u go out 2 play

play safe..mean's ull be safe

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

i didnt say me personally, im just wondering who still does it, i always use condoms!!

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

"i didnt say me personally, im just wondering who still does it, i always use condoms!! "

Congratulations to you - however I'm not sure as a thread its exactly a form of self promotion (a profile does just that however) nor am I sure you'll find anyone responding "Oh, I love to bareback with strangers!" which invariably defeats the object of the thread. Just my two cents.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you want to ensure safe sex then stay monogamous

Not sure why you think swinging can often lead you to barebacking though, from experience the majority of people who swing tend to play safer than most people out there.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Totally safe sex- sit in a room and wank

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

"obviously STDS are on the rise, and swinging can offen lead you to 'barebacking' with unsafe people, but who still does it, and how do you ensure safe sex?"

Where have you got the notion that swinging can often lead you to barebacking???!!!! We've never done it and wouldn't consider doing it regardless of the situation. There are people here who do engage in bareback sex but I don't think there are loads and if that's what they want to do then it's up to them. Z

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have learnt more about safe sex through swinging than anywhere else would never consider penetration without a condom I value my health too much

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By *zMaleMan
over a year ago

penzance

"Totally safe sex- sit in a room and wank"

That ain't safe ........I get blisters

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Totally safe sex- sit in a room and wank

That ain't safe ........I get blisters

"
Spit on it then!! lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

i perhaps mis typed what i meant to say lol, i meant that there are some swingers that still do bareback. im just trying to figure out why, i didnt mean swinging can lead to barebacking, i meant like there are swingers who bareback and im just interested in why?

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By *zMaleMan
over a year ago

penzance

"Totally safe sex- sit in a room and wank

That ain't safe ........I get blisters

Spit on it then!! lol

Oh fuck thats what I've been doing wrong............ Good tip

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

maybe cause they fancy the doctor at the clap clinic??

abuse to usual address folks!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If wearing a condom protects the user. so then if you penetrate someone whos got an std and then you penetrate another person straight after.This is still going to spread the disease because you have the fluid on the condom. Just a thought or has this been said before.I wonder

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

"If wearing a condom protects the user. so then if you penetrate someone whos got an std and then you penetrate another person straight after.This is still going to spread the disease because you have the fluid on the condom. Just a thought or has this been said before.I wonder"

I think that most people would take off the condom and put on a new one before moving on to a different partner, but you're right - to use the same one would be totally insane! Z

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

i agree using the same condom on a different person would probably take away the reason for wearing one in the first place!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

but whos checking on this. i cant see many ppl bothering in the heat of the moment(Hence unwanted pregnancies) but i hope they do.

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

"but whos checking on this. i cant see many ppl bothering in the heat of the moment(Hence unwanted pregnancies) but i hope they do. "

In the heat of the moment is never an excuse for not using a condom - we've been enjoying swinging for 4 years and this has never been an issue - I am sure that the vast majority of people who employ safe sex will agree with me. Z

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By *exeteraWoman
over a year ago

Bridgend

The only way to practice safe sex is not to have sex at all. Most admit to using condoms for penetrative sex but how many use any form of protection for oral sex????

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

very good point ^^

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For more, much much more on this subject, type in bareback into the quick links search box. top left.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

If their knob is black and green and has puss coming out of it and looks like its going to fall of then i might not play with them

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

diamondsmiles lol thats always a good indication :P

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"but whos checking on this. i cant see many ppl bothering in the heat of the moment(Hence unwanted pregnancies) but i hope they do. "

Errr no one is coming near me without a condom even a heat of the moment setting either !!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"but whos checking on this. i cant see many ppl bothering in the heat of the moment(Hence unwanted pregnancies) but i hope they do. "

I would hope any woman who is swinging to use more than one form or contraception. ie the condom break, fall of or if she was on the pill she could have a sickness bug. Ok these chances are slim but i know at least a couple of vanilla women who have gotten pregant by either forgetting to take the pill or being ill

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Totally safe sex- sit in a room and wank"

What if your hand has been playing away, behind your back?

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"but whos checking on this. i cant see many ppl bothering in the heat of the moment(Hence unwanted pregnancies) but i hope they do.

Yep I agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"but whos checking on this. i cant see many ppl bothering in the heat of the moment(Hence unwanted pregnancies) but i hope they do.

i fell pregnant on the pill and had a malfunctionin condom!! now if thats no unlucky i dont know what is lol!! x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On my last meet someone wanted barebacck I refused and thats where the meet ended

I was invited to play in a club I had taken condems but locked them in with the rest of the stuff in a locker when the time came I had to make an excuse for not going the whole hog as there was nothing available.

How do you carry a condems on you in a club with just a towel around you or may be nothing on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"On my last meet someone wanted barebacck I refused and thats where the meet ended

How do you carry a condems on you in a club with just a towel around you or may be nothing on."

send me your towel up il stitch a wee pocket on to it for you!

oh business ideas towels for swingers!! xx

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"i perhaps mis typed what i meant to say lol, i meant that there are some swingers that still do bareback. im just trying to figure out why, i didnt mean swinging can lead to barebacking, i meant like there are swingers who bareback and im just interested in why?"

I bet you if you go down in any city there will be pissed up people copping off with other who dont even think about using a condom

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Totally safe sex- sit in a room and wank"

can I watch?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"but whos checking on this. i cant see many ppl bothering in the heat of the moment(Hence unwanted pregnancies) but i hope they do.

i fell pregnant on the pill and had a malfunctionin condom!! now if thats no unlucky i dont know what is lol!! x"
you are not the only one....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most the guys I know at chams carry a little wash bag with them inside are goodies toys condoms and lube latex glove oh and mints.

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"but whos checking on this. i cant see many ppl bothering in the heat of the moment(Hence unwanted pregnancies) but i hope they do.

And I know of one woman who swings bareback to told the men she was shagging that she was on the pill !

She wasn't, she wanted a child. And she got one, by a married man.

So men, always wear a condom because some women are coniving, malicious and amoral bitches!

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"On my last meet someone wanted barebacck I refused and thats where the meet ended

How do you carry a condems on you in a club with just a towel around you or may be nothing on."

Put a rubber band round your ankle and keep two condoms either side under the band.

Keeps them in place and handy in the heat of the moment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

NO SUCH THING AS SAFE SEX ... ONLY SAFER ... LESS RISKY!

STDs are on the rise because there is better awareness and detection. Not simply because there are more affected people.

Barrier contraception may reduce the incidence level. It will not entirely stop them happening. That's why other methods will always be necessary, as well as personal cleanliness and medical support.

It is wrong to claim that AIDS is a death sentence as has occurred in prvious posts. Well at least outside Africa and countries with limited health provision. Many people with AIDS can live reasonably long lives as long as they are diagnosed quickly. Many STDs such as syphilis were once death sentences.

The difficult unasked question in these Forums is about swingers with HIV/ AIDS. Should they be stigmatized? Are they entitled to full sex life evem if they are honest about their condition?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh and I would also ask.

When did the risk of pregnancy or sexually transmitted disease or personal shame or trauma ever stop men and women having sex?

When on human history?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put a rubber band round your ankle and keep two condoms either side under the band.

Keeps them in place and handy in the heat of the moment"

Good idea - but don't wear them under a band, around your bicep, Rambo-style. I've seen guys in Chams do that and I just think it looks a bit lame.

S x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I bet you if you go down in any city there will be pissed up people copping off with other who dont even think about using a condom"

I was thinking the same thing, and they don't even have to be d*unk!

The amount of single mums with multiple baby fathers is testament to the fact barebacking is alive and kicking!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We saw a profile from a bareback couple a few days ago.

Their verifications were from something like 35 single guys and maybe 4 couples.

We couldn't believe it!

We know there are many single guys who won't have sex without a condom but those figures can't help but make you wonder.

XXXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put a rubber band round your ankle and keep two condoms either side under the band.

Keeps them in place and handy in the heat of the moment

Good idea - but don't wear them under a band, around your bicep, Rambo-style. I've seen guys in Chams do that and I just think it looks a bit lame.

S x"

bugger i've do that on a few times

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By *Y MAN n MECouple
over a year ago

FIFE

we just want to say we do not go to clubs or big house parties but have often wondered how anyone can say they perform safely, when as said in the heat of the moment do you change condoms for each person????? and yes where do you keep them?

it is a dilemma for all of us that play with others....

and what about the disposal of used ones? surely there's a risk in itself.

our lovely woodburning stove comes in handy for that one

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"we just want to say we do not go to clubs or big house parties but have often wondered how anyone can say they perform safely, when as said in the heat of the moment do you change condoms for each person????? and yes where do you keep them?

it is a dilemma for all of us that play with others....

and what about the disposal of used ones? surely there's a risk in itself.

our lovely woodburning stove comes in handy for that one

Most people would perform safely the way you do at home,not everyone at clubs and parties has a line of guys all waiting to fuck the same woman,or swap and change partners with all and sundry,we don't and have never once been in a situation where the heat of the moment has meant that a condom has been forgotten about

Nor has anyone ever come near me with a condom on already,before I play with anyone I either watch or put a new condom on them myself

As for disposing of used condoms,well thats something I leave the guy to do but most places do supply bins and even nappy sacks these days to put them in just the same as at home

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when I have been at a clubor party, if in an orgy type situation, I have always made sure to tell whoever may have come to me from someone else to change condom...and I make sure to always carry some with me now as you would be surprised how many guys to try it on with bareback...I once had a guy who was on his way to mine for a meet call to confirm directions and I said don't forget the condoms and he was like "why...I only play bareback" so I told him that he better turn around because he wouldn't be playing with me...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it is a dilemma for all of us that play with others....

and what about the disposal of used ones? surely there's a risk in itself.

our lovely woodburning stove comes in handy for that one

Nor has anyone ever come near me with a condom on already,before I play with anyone I either watch or put a new condom on them myself

As for disposing of used condoms,well thats something I leave the guy to do but most places do supply bins and even nappy sacks these days to put them in just the same as at home

"
lol...last time I went to chams in my handbag I had nappy sacks and wipes...lol...at least I know that once the twins are potty trained the left over wipes and bags will still go to good use...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I bet you if you go down in any city there will be pissed up people copping off with other who dont even think about using a condom

I was thinking the same thing, and they don't even have to be d*unk!

The amount of single mums with multiple baby fathers is testament to the fact barebacking is alive and kicking!

ahh but how many of them are swingers!!

iv noticed from time in pubs ,vanilla friends etc that they are not as clued up as people in this lifestyle and whether its ignorance or stupidity i just dont know!

no condom no way!! not just for no babies but also no doses or nasties!! as i used to say when i was a youth worker, imagine you sleep with x who has slept with y who has slept with a b and c and everyone they slept with and then think!! not a nice thought!! xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"when I have been at a clubor party, if in an orgy type situation, I have always made sure to tell whoever may have come to me from someone else to change condom...and I make sure to always carry some with me now as you would be surprised how many guys to try it on with bareback...I once had a guy who was on his way to mine for a meet call to confirm directions and I said don't forget the condoms and he was like "why...I only play bareback" so I told him that he better turn around because he wouldn't be playing with me..."

Ive seen a few times at clubs etc guys going from one woman to another with the same comdom on, to me i feel thats worse than them playing bare back because its a total fuck you so long as im ok attitude at least if they playing bar back they putting themselves at as much risk as they willing to put other

does that make sence lmao

i know what i mean lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what is the odds of oral sex leading to stds?

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By *exeteraWoman
over a year ago

Bridgend

"what is the odds of oral sex leading to stds?"

Oral sex is the stimulation of the genitals using the mouth and tongue. It is one of the ways that sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are most frequently passed on.

You can catch a STI if you have just one sexual partner, but the chance of catching an infection increases the more partners you have.

STIs that are commonly caught through oral sex are:

* chlamydia,

* gonorrhoea,

* genital herpes, and

* syphilis.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

bloody ell these forums are more informative than any government campaign ever could be.. keep it up (excuse the pun) i'm learning loads on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"what is the odds of oral sex leading to stds?

Oral sex is the stimulation of the genitals using the mouth and tongue. It is one of the ways that sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are most frequently passed on.

You can catch a STI if you have just one sexual partner, but the chance of catching an infection increases the more partners you have.

STIs that are commonly caught through oral sex are:

* chlamydia,

* gonorrhoea,

* genital herpes, and

* syphilis.

All true, but it still needs to get into the blood through an a cut, wound or breach in the skin.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i've copied this from a NHS help page on STI's and oral sex

Chlamydia and Oral Sex

Oral sex is not considered a common cause of Chlamydia infection, but it is a possibility. If the vagina, cervix, anus, penis or mouth come in contact with infected secretions or fluids, then transmission is possible

Gonorrhea and Oral Sex

Gonorrhea can be passed during oral sex (either giving or receiving). Ejaculation does not have to occur for gonorrhea to be transmitted or acquired. Gonorrhea survives well in the throat, and gonorrhea throat infections from oral sex are relatively common.

Herpes and Oral Sex

Herpes can be transmitted via skin to skin contact, so the risks during oral sex are clear. It’s important to remember that transmission can occur even if there are no visible sores, and you or your partner may be infected with herpes and not know it. Some people are not aware that cold sores are a form of herpes.

NGU and Oral Sex

Most of the germs that cause NGU can be passed during oral sex, even if the penis or tongue doesn’t go all the way in to the vagina, mouth or rectum and even if body fluids are not exchanged. A recent Australian study provided further evidence for oral sex as a transmission route for NGU.

Syphilis and Oral Sex

Oral sex is considered an efficient way to transmit syphilis, with one CDC study reporting that more than 13% of syphilis cases in a geographic area were attributed to oral sex. Transmission usually occurs during vaginal, anal or oral sex when syphilitic sores or patches come in to contact with slightly abraded skin or mucous membranes.

so all in all oral sex is not safe lol and nowhere does it state you have to have broken skin to catch any of them

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By *roovytwoCouple
over a year ago

burnley

"On my last meet someone wanted barebacck I refused and thats where the meet ended

How do you carry a condems on you in a club with just a towel around you or may be nothing on."

We take a small handbag (nothing big but small and discrete)with is into the play rooms with condoms/tissues etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Safe sex is a must for us , never entertain bareback.

Anyway their are some fantastic ribbed,shaped condoms on the market now and I enjoy putting one on for our male friends when lovelly and erect,its all part of the fun dont you think!

Jackie x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

according to new research, the increase in mouth cancers etc has been linked to the increase of HPV. human pappilon virus which is also a present in genitial warts and a cause of cervical cancer. the scary bit with that is that many people dont know they are carryin it as many times it doesnt show symptoms it warts xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

WE THINK SAFE SEX IS A GREAT IDEA BUT JIMMY HATES PUTTING A CONDOM ON HIS TOUNGE

lol

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

SEX means covering up to me

the only safe sex is no sex however but to go bareback is nothing short of foolish in swinging I think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only bareback with my Husband and my swing partner. With everyone else I used condoms.

I generally carry a couple in my purse and some in each handbag.

There's only one time I found myself in an impromptu meet and wasn't equipped. Unfortunately neither was he

We made up for it the next time though

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

Not sure why you think swinging can often lead you to barebacking though, from experience the majority of people who swing tend to play safer than most people out there."

That was my first instinct also.

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

"Totally safe sex- sit in a room and wank"

That's what I used to do.

Didn't feel so safe when Mum caught me...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not sure why you think swinging can often lead you to barebacking though, from experience the majority of people who swing tend to play safer than most people out there.

That was my first instinct also."

I thought the same. Never met anyone who's even tried to push that boundary.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got a message from a couple today where the guy only goes bareback so I blocked them. People like that give us a bad name.

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

Hey another bareback thread

As LaTour said.... 'people are still having sex, the safe thing isn't working'

In answer to : why do some swingers do it?

One honest answer - because they enjoy it more

Another honest answer (at least for those who care to research what they are doing before doing it) is because the extra risk involved is acceptable to them, compared to the risks from unprotected oral - which let's face it we just about all are ok with

There's loads of STDs you can get through oral - including HIV. Some transfer just as well through oral, some don't. But *all* can.

Now let's compare bareback to 'why do people drink alcohol' or 'why do people smoke'? Those are two very popular activities with members on here. Simple answer again. Because they enjoy it.

Do some also feel they consider the risk acceptable?

From recent figures:

Deaths from AIDS in the UK per annum approx 500

Deaths per annum in the UK directly related to alcohol consumption approx 9000

Deaths per annum in the UK directly related to smoking tobacco approx 101000

Now in answer to 'there are very few couples on here who practice bareback'.

Surely you have gotta be joking..... right?

j&r

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

When you have children, you think of your own mortality more so because you consider your children living without you

I dont drink to excess nor do I smoke nor do I risk my life for a quick meaningless fuck

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

"When you have children, you think of your own mortality more so because you consider your children living without you

We're not at all sure that people without children feel they have less reason to live than people who do!

We just know that some people consider the additional risk from bareback vs unprotected oral are acceptable.

Some people consider the additional heath risk from having a promiscuous sex life totally unacceptable. Obviously they are not swingers so not here to comment but sure they exist.

Everyone decides what is acceptable to them. And surely... that's OK.

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

NO ITS NOT OK

for me to meet a man that routinely goes bareback

If I find a man that does, he is blocked

and people with children do usually feel more inclined to have more of a sense of responibilty so again I shall disagree with you if thats ok

Its not personal

Just my preferences born out of choosing a safer way of living

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this subject of stds simply is enough to make you wana not have sex again....

what a turn off!!! but at the same time ever so important, you'd have to be bonkers to risk your health in this day and age, and without being funny, there are more and more people from different oarts of the world mixing it up with eachother than ever before,,, would think it would be simple to just bag up your bad boy and have peace of mind

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

"people with children do usually feel more inclined to have more of a sense of responibilty"

I don't agree if you take people from this and other swinger sites! Most of the couples on here and quite a few of the singles seem to be family people, but a higher than vanilla average seem to smoke! Smoking is the biggest killer in the UK!

BUT... Whether it is HIV or smoking, we'll do what we can to protect ourselves as far as is practical!

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

Well we're shocked to discover that it is *not* OK for us to decide what risks are acceptable to us!

Who should decide then?

Re people with children

point 1: Well we see a lot of girls around with young children who seem to show an incredible lack of responsibility, although in fairness they do seem to show slightly more responsibility then the males who fathered them.

Do you still believe having children automatically creates a greater sense of responsibility

Nothing personal here either so please don't think it is - but surely you can't believe that people should not make their own choices?

Then in the same sentence you say 'just my preference born out of choosing'

So we'd say again... nothing wrong with that

xxx

PS: couple more statistics regards things a lot of us do

Deaths per annum UK due to skin cancer (most common cause is sunbathing/sunbeds) approx 2500

Deaths per annum UK road traffic accidents (drivers and pedestrians) approx 3500

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

"Well we're shocked to discover that it is *not* OK for us to decide what risks are acceptable to us!"

Yep! The Nanny PC brigade are in! Nothing wrong with what you do as swingers, as long as your swinger partners know that it is how you play (even if you play safe with them!) and can make that choice on an informed basis.

I must say that we would not knowingly play with anyone who even sometimes plays bareback, but each to their own!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The day that I have to suck a cock with a condom on, is the day i'll give up swinging

richNjudy, hats of for being honest, but while we've no interest in going bareback with any stranger who asks, we admittedly don't use any protection when performing oral, so we’re not going to get all hypocritical because we take a slightly less risk than you both do, there’s far too many people think that sticking a condom on a willy for penetration only, makes them invincible, they’re often shouting from the rooftops that they never take any risks, they’re always safe, and rant about blocking people who do, but can be seen in a swinging club in any given night chewing on any strangers willy in sight without a condom on it.

Sorry but anybody who claims to always play safe, cannot be meeting other people, because having multiple sexual partners can never be described as playing safe, accidents happen, the more partners you have the more risk you take, it’s not always solely about the protection you use.

By all means play as safe as you’re comfortable with, but don’t be a hypocrite because you take less risks than someone else, swinging is a risk, full stop, if you want to be a hypocrite become monogamous then you can shout about the risks people take.

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

Hi Rumour

Thanks! Our faith is restored lol

Funny enough regards a point you mentioned about your own choice who you play with....

Now this may suprise some folks on here but this is our own experience so we know it to be true:

We've been on the scene for 3 years - for the first couple years we ticked 'safe sex' and we got a lot of meets - including a good proportion who would feel comfortable enough to bareback with us.

These days we openly state on profile that we will bareback if we feel comfortable. And have said so for about a year. That is not to say we do it with everyone but we do with quite a few if the situation matches our criteria (personal choice again).

Guess what - since we put bareback on our profile we actually get at least as many contacts as we did before, if not more - and those meets fall into three groups

Some who will only practice 'safe sex' with us and everyone else, but still happy to meet us knowing we sometimes don't with others.

Some who bareback sometimes (or only bareback) and openly say so on their profile

And a *lot* who only practice safe according to profile - but then want to bareback with us.

As far as we know only one couple on here actually has us blocked because of bareback - not that we ever attempted to meet them. We'd say why block us?

We're honest on profile, don't pester folks, and you can't as far as we researched get an STD from a PM lol

xxx

j&r

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i always always always practice safe sex and say so .then why when i go on a meet do they try every trick in the book not to use condoms,i have heard all kinds of excuses and none have worked yet but if people prefer bareback thats their choice,just not for me but i would still meet people who bareback as long as when we meet its safe sex.all im saying is each to their own...

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By *ohjaneCouple
over a year ago

south staffs

When I ask a potential meet when he last had a check-up, and I always do, I often get the sanctimonious " I only ever play safe!" answer. When I push the question, they say that they only use condoms for penetration, and they have either never had a check-up, or it was at least 6 months ago . . .

Sorry guys / couples. That is not safe enough for me. GUM check-ups are free and take just a couple of hours of your time. Why not make the effort and have that base line?

If you only meet one new person every 6 months then fair enough, but looking at verifications, that is not usually the case. If wearing the condom makes for much less frequent check-ups then I am not so sure they are doing what they were intended to do . . . ?

Jane x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sheer madness in my opinion but each to their own.

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

"i always always always practice safe sex and say so .then why when i go on a meet do they try every trick in the book not to use condoms,i have heard all kinds of excuses and none have worked yet but if people prefer bareback thats their choice,just not for me but i would still meet people who bareback as long as when we meet its safe sex.all im saying is each to their own...

Well to be honest that is something we ourselves don't understand though we know it happens a lot from our own experience - why won't folks be honest?

And funnily enough this seems to affect single male profiles in particular much more than couples - go find one who says they enjoy bareback.... see what we mean?

As we said earlier we get a lot of contacts from couple who put safe sex on their profiles but like to bareback

Is this due to bareback being stigmatised by some?

For a while actually we wondered if it would be a good thing for the 'nanny brigade' for want of a better word to be much more tolerant of barebackers alone because

A) we could all be honest about it - and we know from asking others that is what they do not put it on profile. and

B) those who don't want to even play 'safe' with anyone who barebacks with others would know better who to avoid.

But now we have come to the decision actually that things are perfectly fine as they are as those of us who openly state their preference are in a minority, though there are lots of 'hidden'barebackers around, so in actual fact it attract more meets for us!

So bareback nanny's please keep it up, even though it is not in your own interests for reasons stated above we say a big thanks lol

xxxx

j&r

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

It doesn't matter how you justify it with thatever figures you dig up

Barebackers are not for me

and not for many on here also

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It doesn't matter how you justify it with thatever figures you dig up

Barebackers are not for me

and not for many on here also

Me too

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

We have seen this subject crop up numerous times in numerous forums and it’s nothing more than hypocrisy. The very fact of being a swinger is NOT practicing safe sex by default!

When someone says “I’m a swinger” they are effectively stating ‘I am sexually promiscuous’. So what are the risks? Anyone watch the TV show ‘Mock the Week’, consider the game they play where one person plays a government official and another voices what they really mean, so a profile or prospective sex partner might sound like this…

“I’ve only been on the scene about a year”

(I’ve been shaggin anything with a pulse all my life)

“I only ever practice safe sex”

(What is a condom?)

“I’m very fussy about personal hygiene”

(I’ll wipe out the creases with a damp flannel and use a body spray)

Ok, so maybe ‘promiscuous’ doesn’t apply to all swingers but regardless of what a person or couple may tell you, you really have no idea of how many people they have had sex with!

We often have guys contact us with the line ‘I m bisexual but I put straight on my profile because its puts non-bi people off’…

“I’m straight, clean, and single”

(I’m as queer as a concrete parachute, don’t have time to wash, and the wife has gone off sex so I use rent-boys unless I can get a shag here for free)

The idea that using a condom means ‘safe sex’ is a bit of a fantasy, although it must to some extent reduce risks but NOT if it makes people THINK they are safe! You may be little safer but like I said at the start being a swinger means that you do not practice safe sex… with or without a condom.

Night all…

Dave

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/04/10 01:25:04]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

another angle is, FUCK STD'S. I personally dont want any kids that aint gonna know their brothers and sisters. PERIOD

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"obviously STDS are on the rise, and swinging can offen lead you to 'barebacking' with unsafe people, but who still does it, and how do you ensure safe sex?"

The only way to ensure safe sex is to protect YOURSELF.

I personally avoid barebacking as i believe no matter how safe you think they are, its all dependant on how safe the last person that barebacked them is, and as for me, i will only vouch for MYSELF.

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

"obviously STDS are on the rise, and swinging can offen lead you to 'barebacking' with unsafe people, but who still does it, and how do you ensure safe sex?

The only way to ensure safe sex is to protect YOURSELF.

I personally avoid barebacking as i believe no matter how safe you think they are, its all dependant on how safe the last person that barebacked them is, and as for me, i will only vouch for MYSELF."

Lol, not sure where to admit (although not a laughing matter) but I'm cracking up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We have seen this subject crop up numerous times in numerous forums and it’s nothing more than hypocrisy. The very fact of being a swinger is NOT practicing safe sex by default!

“I’ve only been on the scene about a year”

(I’ve been shaggin anything with a pulse all my life)

“I only ever practice safe sex”

(What is a condom?)

“I’m very fussy about personal hygiene”

(I’ll wipe out the creases with a damp flannel and use a body spray)

Ok, so maybe ‘promiscuous’ doesn’t apply to all swingers but regardless of what a person or couple may tell you, you really have no idea of how many people they have had sex with!

We often have guys contact us with the line ‘I m bisexual but I put straight on my profile because its puts non-bi people off’…

“I’m straight, clean, and single”

(I’m as queer as a concrete parachute, don’t have time to wash, and the wife has gone off sex so I use rent-boys unless I can get a shag here for free)

Night all…

Dave"

What a bitter perspective on swingers..and swinging...is this jaundiced view...what you really think of the peeps in this lifestyle...if so why do you swing...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I ask a potential meet when he last had a check-up, and I always do, I often get the sanctimonious " I only ever play safe!" answer. When I push the question, they say that they only use condoms for penetration, and they have either never had a check-up, or it was at least 6 months ago . . .

Sorry guys / couples. That is not safe enough for me. GUM check-ups are free and take just a couple of hours of your time. Why not make the effort and have that base line?

Jane x"

personally i cant even see the point in that question, they could tell you they have a check up every 4 weeks and only play safe, but in actual fact could have never had one and play bare back any chance they get!!

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

"It doesn't matter how you justify it with thatever figures you dig up

Barebackers are not for me

and not for many on here also

Can't disagree with that swingershaz - everyone has a personal choice

And surely many agree with your preference say.

To think though that bareback doesn't happen very often amongst folks on here or is only a small minority, is simply not correct

Just a lot of them don't state what they do on profile. Why is that?

As an aside, is it just our perception or has this forum really become much more tolerant of peoples views during our six month self imposed absence?

j&r

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

[Removed by poster at 23/04/10 10:29:25]

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"It doesn't matter how you justify it with thatever figures you dig up

Barebackers are not for me

and not for many on here also

Can't disagree with that swingershaz - everyone has a personal choice

And surely many agree with your preference say.

To think though that bareback doesn't happen very often amongst folks on here or is only a small minority, is simply not correct

Just a lot of them don't state what they do on profile. Why is that?

As an aside, is it just our perception or has this forum really become much more tolerant of peoples views during our six month self imposed absence?

j&r"

We all know why some people don't put the truth on their profile, be that bareback, married etc........it is because people frown upon it ( and used to be very vocal bordering on abuse ), so it is then hidden.

I think now that others have started saying, hang on a minute, we all have choices in life and I can have my choices wether you like it or not, that people have become less forceful at how they put their point across.

Wether that is more tolerant I don't know, as their views will be the same but it makes debates last longer on the forums

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I may be being very naive here so don't shoot me down this is just a question i've often wondered about. If you have a couple who plays with another female and the bloke is wearing a condom and fucking both women surely any std's that either of the women had would be transferred to each other from the outside of the condom to each woman?? or am i wrong. We have known it in the past that the woman insists on the bloke wearing protection (and rightly so, i might add) but when i pointed out the point i just raised they don't think its a problem, personally i would use a fresh one each time the blokes cock went into a different person, better to be safe than sorry or am i just being over cautious??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't use the same condom on 2 woman for the reason above.

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

What a bitter perspective on swingers..and swinging...is this jaundiced view...what you really think of the peeps in this lifestyle...if so why do you swing...

It’s nothing to do with, as you put it, ‘what I think about people in this lifestyle’ its just a matter of fact…

Swinging typically means that said swingers will have a potentially high number of sexual partners whereas one of the key points to exercising safe sex is to minimize the number of sexual partners. Therefore being a swinger and practicing safe sex is effectively an oxymoron, swinging contravenes a key principal of practicing safe sex regardless of any self imposed rules about condoms.

People in this lifestyle (although for us its an occasional hobby rather than lifestyle) are just people, the ‘general public’ who happen to be perhaps a bit more open-minded with respect to recreational sex play. The human as a species is a sociable animal and to that end typically we tend to conduct ourselves in a way that makes us attractive and likeable by other people we socialise with. So, there is a tendency to ‘say the right thing’ or say what one THINKS the other person wants to hear. It may surprise you but some people do deliberately tell lies to get what they want! I could for example count up the pro-condom posts against the bare-backs and then agree with the majority and so be popular with the majority or I can be honest in my opinions and perhaps be less socially popular, be it some people don’t like or agree with what I say, be it some people will agree, which ever way I will always be honest when voicing my opinions.

Now I might have misread some of the posts in this thread, quite possible as it seems that you may have misread mine but I get the impression that the general slant is that bare-backers are irresponsible disease spreading morons and those who absolutely insist on condoms are holier than thou pillars of the swinging community/lifestyle. Now if someone chooses to insist on using condoms that’s absolutely fine but equally those who choose not to should not be condemned, it’s a simple matter of personal choice that’s all.

Then a thread like this opens up and people voice their opinions which is great, that’s what forums are for. But it can also set some alarms off such as the idea that using a condom means one is practicing safe sex but this simply isn’t true, all it offers is SOME small reduction to the risk of exchanging non-required bugs!

Quite rightly some posters have raised the question about changing condoms when changing sex partner, it’s a very good point but it also raises a long list of other points where cross contamination can occur … Kissing – mouthwash between person change… Foreplay – washing hands between person change. What about it girls, ever played with hubby’s cock then washed you hands before moving onto playing with friends cock? What about the guys, having fingered your wife’s pussy do you wash your hands before moving on to the other guys cock or his wife’s pussy? What about mouthwash in between blow-jobs or pussy oral? Of course whenever anyone fingers some ones anus afterwards they immediately wash their hands and scrub their nails with an anti-bacterial product before they inadvertently insert the same finger in a pussy, we all do that don’t we?

How does one fit a condom… is it something like handle the penis to erection, fit the condom and then continue to handle the condom covered penis with the same hand that handled the naked penis?

The bottom line is that there are a million ways to cross-contaminate body fluids and or friendly and unfriendly bacteria, using a condom provides in real terms only a small amount of protection. I am absolutely NOT suggesting that condoms should not be used, anything that one finds acceptable that reduces risks has got to be a good thing but it really should not be referred to as ‘safe sex’, there is no such thing as safe sex, it’s a question of weighing up the risk in respect of pleasure. Some people will take the extra relatively small risk for a higher pleasure level, some will fear the extra risk and thus not gain extra pleasure… it all boils down to personal choice, not something for people to be judgmental about.

Be lucky,

Dave

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got a message from a couple today where the guy only goes bareback so I blocked them. People like that give us a bad name."

We have received messages from people who do bareback - we would not block them and would socialise but not play with them on their terms.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a bitter perspective on swingers..and swinging...is this jaundiced view...what you really think of the peeps in this lifestyle...if so why do you swing...

It’s nothing to do with, as you put it, ‘what I think about people in this lifestyle’ its just a matter of fact…

How does one fit a condom… is it something like handle the penis to erection, fit the condom and then continue to handle the condom covered penis with the same hand that handled the naked penis?

Be lucky,

Dave

A great balanced post - and bottom line is that barebackers are not nasty irresponsible people - but rather that it is a personal choice

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

Hey _ngieandmrman

You put in words so well what we feel to be true about swinging and the relative risks of various activities. We believed ourselves to be quite eloquent lol but no way have we ever said this as well as you do

So here is another question - we also have seen so much skin touching/play between couples at parties etc

So a question to those who prefer to use condoms for penetration - given the scenario mentioned above - and one that we have experienced many times and truly love -

1. In a group sex scenario how much protection do you feel condoms give?

and

2. Which forms of foreplay (without condoms) do you feel are the most safe and the least safe?

This is a great thread we think not much slagging off but honest discussions, so let's here some honest answers to questions 1 and 2

xxx

ju & rich

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

oops sorry, like monty python we just realised that is two questions lol

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

[Removed by poster at 24/04/10 14:01:50]

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

This is the way I see it.

Condom users: We do our best to protect ourselves in whatever way we can against a multitude of risks (be them STD's, HIV or pregnancy). We KNOW that you can't protect against every disease if we practice oral without dental dams and condoms, if you use toys without condoms, if you don't change condoms for different partners, playing with fingers etc etc, we KNOW that the barebackers think we are a 'holier than thou brigade' and we KNOW that there are many scenarios where we could ALL take more precautions but we done.

Barebackers: Those that like to say 'sod the risks' we'll do as we want. I am unsure how barebackers protect against unwanted pregnancy (thats aimed more at the men when the women can get pregnant whilst on the pill or whatnot). I am also aware that there are those that choose to go 'skin on skin' regardless of what risks penetration, semen and vaginal fluids pose.

However, in defence of the condom brigade, I will reiterate again what MOST (by no means all) of us think.

Protect yourselves as best you can, don't leave yourselves open to every risk available.

And if a condom wearer chooses NOT to play with a barebacker under any circumstances, that is their choice. It is once again, choosing to protect ourselves as BEST we can.

On a more dangerous note: I have personally been swinging for 10 years + now and out of the, literally, hundreds of swingers I know, the only ones to have contracted STD's, genital warts etc have been those who bareback. (I am not saying that condoms wearers haven't but the only ones that I PERSONALLY know of are barebackers). I also know of 4 couples who have either Herpes or Genital Warts who play bareback regardless and don't tell their playmates what they have.

I also know of two women who got pregnant by barebacking. Both wanted to get pregnant, one because her husband can't have children and one because she just wanted a child. The married man who got the second woman pregnant has lost his home, his wife and his children and now she's stalking him for money.

Regardless of what anyone thinks, STD's and diseases are NOT the only problem with barebacking, but I think that many people forget the risk of pregancy when they refuse to 'glove up'

If condom wearers want to think that barebackers are irresponsible, disease carrying numpties, that is THEIR choice and there is probably nothing a barebacker can do to change their mind. But it's like life, some always find another section of society abhorant and some will always be understanding.

It's what makes the human race.... human.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My policy is pretty much to always wear condoms, however!

About this time last year, me and my then partner were extremely friendly with one guy who we had known for a good while, who we ended up having as our flat mate. We had played together a few times, with condoms, and we decided to all go get tested together. After we had our results, we had enough faith in each other that we could go without on the proviso we didn't meet up with others in similar circumstances.

Now, obviously with him being in the same apartment building we knew what he was getting up to more than most people will be able to, but I think when you have a relationship that is truly trusting, you can allow your close friends to go bareback, and rely on contraception eg. Pill/implant to see you through that particular angle.

Like I say, other than that guy, we never had anyone else without condoms, so I am not advising that anyone do it on a regular basis, but under certain circumstances if people want to do it and truly feel safe in another person, then I could see it happening.

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

I agree with both _adchick and tipper

If you find someone in the lifestyle that you trust then so be it

I do think that random meets and going bareback is a tad foolish and worrying for all in the scene

but we wont all agree

I had a guy spray my outer fanny with his hot cum last night but he was in their licking it all off immediately and I douched afterwards

but I would not have his cum in me, no way

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By *ixplayMan
over a year ago

tamworth & Edinburgh

"I agree with both _adchick and tipper

If you find someone in the lifestyle that you trust then so be it

I do think that random meets and going bareback is a tad foolish and worrying for all in the scene

but we wont all agree

I had a guy spray my outer fanny with his hot cum last night but he was in their licking it all off immediately and I douched afterwards

but I would not have his cum in me, no way "

some men dont like pulling out as theyre about to cum but i love it its really nice to watch yourself cum on the ladies body, very sexy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sorry but its condoms all the way for me!

im on implanon to prevent any pregnancies, but also use condoms to minimise any risk of chlamydia the silent dose, and any other nasties that are about ! i also have my regular six month check maybe im bein over cautious (i blame my mother for always makin sure i had 2 hankies when i was a kid!)

even in the vanilla world its condoms im not willing to take the risk of an infection.

as i said on a previous post i have a friend who is infertile due to undiagnosed chlamydia who only had sex with 3 people in her entire life and these were all long term relatioships.

its not my place to judge what others do and if they want to take that risk in a country where std's are on the rise and also hiv and aids etc as well as hep etc then thats there choice!

as i dont partake in group sex etc then i suppose its just me im lookin out for so its up to me to make sure im at elast minimising some risk to both me and the other party and from other party to me and vice versa xx

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

"I agree with both _adchick and tipper

If you find someone in the lifestyle that you trust then so be it

I do think that random meets and going bareback is a tad foolish and worrying for all in the scene

but we wont all agree

I had a guy spray my outer fanny with his hot cum last night but he was in their licking it all off immediately and I douched afterwards

but I would not have his cum in me, no way

some men dont like pulling out as theyre about to cum but i love it its really nice to watch yourself cum on the ladies body, very sexy"

he didn't pull out, he wasn't in on that occasion

lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh sod it!! U cant beat a bit of "Bareback" now an again!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a bitter perspective on swingers..and swinging...is this jaundiced view...what you really think of the peeps in this lifestyle...if so why do you swing...

It’s nothing to do with, as you put it, ‘what I think about people in this lifestyle’ its just a matter of fact…

How does one fit a condom… is it something like handle the penis to erection, fit the condom and then continue to handle the condom covered penis with the same hand that handled the naked penis?

Be lucky,

Dave

I agree with your views on cross contamination...with different forms of play.

Its a fact of life everywhere...supermarket trolley handles...door handles...shared p.c keyboards....germs...are everywhere...

Everything you do in life has risks attached...and like you say you weigh up the pleasure/risk ratio...and generally act accordingly to your own personal risk assessment.

Personally, we are all responsible for our own choices...and our own risk management strategies.

Preaching attitudes...either way make little difference to each swinger's own personal choice of how they play...peeps do think for themselves..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

here a wee scenario.... its not real just an example.....

woman from here say mid 30s biological clock tickin decides she wants a baby, she is willing to go bareback sod the risk she wants a child so she starts lookin for potential playmates/fathers possibly the "Proffessional" bracket, finds one good job etc they do the deed bareback....3 months down the line the bun is in the oven...... 9 months later hello csa...... that mug will be payin 15% of his wages for the next 18 years minimum!! if she has all the details... dispute parentage and you payin 300 for dna upfront then the next 18 till 21 yrs for a kid for the sake of a bareback shag??

food for thought!! x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"here a wee scenario.... its not real just an example.....

food for thought!! x

Yep..that would be a great example of that mans's poor risk assessment, and management strategy...

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By *unPeteMan
over a year ago

Near Bristol

Condoms ever time for me, even if it means a 15 minute walk through the snow to the garage and then a frustrating 3 minutes putting the damn thing on (erm not in the garage!)

Stay healthy then we all stay healthy!

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

I always impressed the importance of using a condom on my two boy’s because of the risk of non-required pregnancy because of the fact that there are females out there seeking a free ride to state support. STD’s while they are very real are not quite so easy to comprehend, when (as has happened in this thread) you start listing all the various types and how easy it can be to acquire/transfer them from person to person it quickly becomes unrealistic inasmuch that it sounds to be impossible to have sex without catching something. I’m by no means an expert on such things but I’d guess that during sex one will acquire 100’s, maybe 1000’s of foreign bacteria that for the most part are totally harmless or easily managed by the immune system. Whereas the female seeking a sperm donor/meal ticket are ‘tangible’… “Look at Suzy across the road with 4 kids all different fathers”.

As adults we often wonder why it seems to be so difficult to explain to youngsters how easy it can be to cause a pregnancy. But now as a mature adult, it’s only when I look back to my first child conception that it really impresses the ‘magic’ or ‘miracle’ (as some call it) that procreation is. The fact that a simple shag can result in creating another human being. Its something we often take for granted and loose sight of just how fantastic it is… one sperm + one egg = one human / one bug + one human could = one death!!!

I think the same sort of thing applies to the human concept of STD’s, it is truly fantastic to think that just one microscopic organism can cause so much grief! Apparently if you pick up a handful of soil you will be holding more different types of organisms/bacterium than there are people on the whole planet! It is really quite difficult to comprehend. If we were to fully take onboard, fully comprehend everything that transfers from one human to another during sex chances are we’d all give it up!

Raising another question… are we getting too clean? There is so much emphasis nowadays on hygiene, anti-bacterial this, kills 99.99% percent of germs that, not only kills unfriendly bacteria but it don’t take prisoners either, useful bacteria is destroyed too! We actually need to swap spit, touch door handles etc. to build the immune system.

Be lucky,

Dave

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"here a wee scenario.... its not real just an example.....

food for thought!! x

Ooohhhh you know the same woman as me then!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"here a wee scenario.... its not real just an example.....

food for thought!! x

Ooohhhh you know the same woman as me then!

i really should get a job with take a break lol!! i dont actually know the person but i am aware of it happenin xx

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

i think most of them live in my street, I can send some your way if you want some

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im no talkin silly wee lassies wi aspirations of a council flat and that designer accesory, the social worker, im talkin older woman who should know better but the biological clock is like a tickin time bomb! and who will go to any means necessary to get it xx

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

Good discussion - could we ask

Is it more OK to bareback if the male is vasectomised do folks think?

Also re Genital Warts... bad example Maddie

Summary Report

Prevalence of human papillomavirus (The cause of Genital Warts)

Compared with no condom use Regular use of condoms may not reduce the prevalence of HPV infection compared with no condom use

Prevalence of genital warts

Compared with no condom use Regular use of condoms may reduce the prevalence of genital warts compared with no condom use (very low-quality evidence).

Note

Penetrative intercourse is not required for spread, because this can occur with external genital–genital or hand–genital touching.

Benefits of condom use

There was a systematic review (search date 2000) comparing the effects of condom use versus no or occasional condom use on transmission of subclinical human papillomavirus (HPV), or transmission of external genital warts. It identified six studiesassessing the effects of condom use on transmission of subclinical HPV, only one of which found that condom use reduced the incidence of HPV.

One cross-sectional study (182 women sex workers) identified by the review found that women who always used condoms were significantly less likely to have HPV than women who occasionally or never used condoms

However, two case-control studies and one cohort study (2638 women) found no significant difference between regular condom use and no use in the proportion of women who had HPV.

Another two case control studies (1659 women) found that women who always used condoms were significantly MORE likely to have HPV than women who never used them

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

its still more of a risk than most are prepared to take

Is collecting leaflets your other hobby by any chance?

Most swingers think safer means covered and it is no matter what leaflet you picked up today

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does using condoms reduce your chances of getting HPV?

Using condoms does reduce the risk of getting HPV. However it doesn’t mean you can’t get HPV because the virus can be spread from areas of the body that a condom doesn't cover. Remember you can get HPV through intimate sexual contact.

taken from the nhs hpv immunisation website.

taking into account the amount in the figures quoted in your source its not been a big sample and to multiply it by a population the size of the uk it may be more relevant xx

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

the thing is

what amount of miscarriages are caused by unprotected sex where an infection attacks the poor featus

do we know?

No figures I suspect

Do we know if brain damage or adhd or any other affliction starts as the featus is forming when it is at its most vulnerable?

No figures I suspect

How many women are prepared to take far too many risks going uncovered with men that have gone uncovered spreading god knows what to god knows who?

I know what I prefer

And I maintain that anyone that thinks otherwise is slightly foolish to be so nieve

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

hi lickme

No we don't collect leaflets lol

But it makes perfect sense (well to us anyway) to look into things properly before you do them!

All this info we had researched a long long time ago and that's what led us to our current preferences - and we think all of it was presented by us and others on the very long and similar thread here best part of a couple years back. Only problem with that thread was a lot of name calling so the useful parts of the discussion was lost and it's nice to see at least that sillyness is much less now

Now the problem is in the general public perception, there are a lot of misconceptions and misunderstandings. That's because of media hysteria, misinformation and nanny-ism by the state amongst other things.

So let's look at a few: Like if you have sex with an infected person you will become infected. As certain as becoming a vampire once bitten by dracula, right?

That's simply not true - there are things like transmission rates to consider - for syphilis as high as 30% chance on infection from one sex act - for HIV as load as 0.001% chance.

Another misconception - like one bacteria/virus can cause an infection - well there is something called 'payload' that proves this is not the case and folks a lot clever than us research these things - are we stupid or wrong to go looking to see what they found?

Most swingers think safer means covered - and do you know what, we totally agree! Does that surprise you?

The only difference is between you and us is we had a look to see how much safer 'covered' is, and then made our own choice that the additional risks were acceptable (to us) because it's not *that much* safer.

We're happy yto accept our choice and face it.

Interestingly we asked for those using condoms, which acts of unprotected foreplay did they think were the most and least safe? - Interesting the answer was no answer. Is that because no one really wants to know the facts?

Seeing as it's a lively debate - let's throw another real fact into the pot and see where this one takes the thread.

The overall rates of STIs are rising in the UK. The group who's infection rates has risen the fastest are a group that do not use condoms at all - which is not suprising because they are bisexual women!

Discuss....

xxx

j&r

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

@mznwty

Our source was http://clinicalevidence.bmj.com

By the way - is that profile name welsh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

cool il go have a wee look!! im a geek i love facts and figures!!

no not welsh or polish just laziness i used shortned for missnawty lol xx

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

sorry again - noticed an error - the group with the fastest rising STI rate was homosexual women

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

yeah guess that - it was just the use of the W in the same way the welsh use it to make that sound lol

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

THATS ONLY published figures

There are lots that we dont know

for example nuns dont get cancer of the womb as they dont have bucket loads of virus ridden spunk sloshing around in it

And I have no real onjection to bareback other than health reasons

One of my biggest fantasies is to have a bareback gangbang with the next guy dipping it in my cum filled hole and the next and the next and the next

I've dont the gangbang with covered cock so almost

but I think about my children and grandchildren and dont do it

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

Excellent post Rich & Judy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well iv never been to wales honestly lol!! xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rising STI rate among older people linked to low condom use

New research suggests that rising rates of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) among older people are linked to a worrying lack of contraception.

A study of heterosexual partnerships among British men and women by a team at University College London Hospital's Centre for Sexual Health & HIV Research found that a high proportion of people do not use condoms when sleeping with a new partner for the first time.

Just over half of all new partnerships involved condom use, but this was found to decline with age.

While 68 per cent of men and 67.4 per cent of women in the 16 to 19 age group used a condom with a new partner, just 38.1 per cent of 35 to 44-year-old men and 28.8 per cent of women in this older age group claimed to use a condom when sleeping with a new partner.

Lead researcher Dr Catherine Mercer commented: "Half of new partnerships did not use condoms at first sex, even when this was a non-regular partner, and condoms were not used in one third of cases when first sex was within 24 hours of first meeting."

The study authors concluded that, instead of targeting public health campaigns primarily at young people, the importance of condom use must be promoted to all age groups.

According to the Family Planning Association (fpa), condoms are 98 per cent effective if used correctly.

that was from private health care 2008!

at the end of the day we all consentin adults with different tastes, and if we only want to play bareback fair enough if we want to have more protection than america fair enough its each to their own and we all make the choice !xx

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

Yep there's loads we don't know but it doesn't mean the published figures are wrong!

The fantasy you mentioned above - was another point we we're gonna raise - but would like to do it on a new thread (hope thats ok with forum rules) as it would distract from discussion the here

see the 'cum filled hole' thread xx

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By *adyPenelopeWoman
over a year ago

worcestershire

In my 5 year experience of swinging I would say swinging is much less likely to lead to bareback than one night stands on the pull. Most swingers understand peoples limits, are open enough to ask the question and be prepared for the rejection of wanting bareback.

I have never gone bareback with a short term buddy or swinging friend and the fact there is an abundance of men to women means I can keep to that rule and move on very easily if someone only wants bareback.

Remember... No means, NO!

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

Without sounding evangelical

but we were dicussing a couple of things last night

Firstly do you agree that condoms offer less protection to swingers than they do to vanilla's?

Our reasoning being the way that us swingers often have sex with lots of finger, tongue, and toy play. Often in groups and often with loads of bi-fem play too. In other words we are far more adept at having sex with lots of physical contact than your average 'stick it in the hole' vanilla guy/girl

And secondly, which no one seems to have raised - how about shaving?

Do a lot of folks shave or wax on the day of a meet - which obviously causes micro skin abrasions on the scrotum or vulva even if you can't see them with the naked eye...... and then go and rub their nice fresh abrasions against someone elses abrasions? (and the condom ain't gonna help you here!)

Or do you all shave/wax several days or a even a week before to allow the skin to heal properly first?

We'd hazard a guess purely due to the nature of swinging and knowing when you will have a sexual encounter there are far more fresh abrasions on swingers than vanillas playing the field?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I think you are either obsessed with bareback or wanting to make us all change our mind about it......sadly that won't work for most people whatever questions you ask, but I suppose you can try

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Without sounding evangelical

but we were dicussing a couple of things last night

Firstly do you agree that condoms offer less protection to swingers than they do to vanilla's?

And secondly, which no one seems to have raised - how about shaving?

Or do you all shave/wax several days or a even a week before to allow the skin to heal properly first?

We'd hazard a guess purely due to the nature of swinging and knowing when you will have a sexual encounter there are far more fresh abrasions on swingers than vanillas playing the field?

xx"

I see your point here, condoms don't end all risk, but they do help to cut the risk, and that's a start.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think you are either obsessed with bareback or wanting to make us all change our mind about it......sadly that won't work for most people whatever questions you ask, but I suppose you can try

That's why I said evangelical on their other post as that's my impression too!!

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

It's simple mathematics surely?:

Celibacy = totally safe sex

Condoms = Lessens the risks of unwanted pregnancy and STD's (maybe in a small way but it still lessens it)

Bareback = Total openess to disease. No protection at all to disease and lessens the protection to unwanted pregancy.

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

Heavens no we're not even evangelical about swinging lol it's not like something we do every week or even every fortnight sometimes

Just consider us as thinkers and debaters - we simply love the debate lol, enjoy asking the questions no one esle seems to wasnt to ask and no one seems to want to answer either

Maddie, can't disagree at all with the simple logic your post it's indisputable

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting

"If their knob is black and green and has puss coming out of it and looks like its going to fall of then i might not play with them

or just plain cheesy!!!

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

"It's simple mathematics surely?:

Celibacy = totally safe sex

Condoms = Lessens the risks of unwanted pregnancy and STD's (maybe in a small way but it still lessens it)

Bareback = Total openess to disease. No protection at all to disease and lessens the protection to unwanted pregancy."

your so right

why would anyone open themselves up to every infection doing the rounds?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Main risk is pregnancy and diseases I wonder those who love bareback how many times do you go to the clinic to get checked. Do you go every 3 months or 6 months and do you wait for the all clear personally I would'nt take the risk.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Getting back to what the thread is about there are a few ways you can check to see what a potential meet does. Firstly most people have pics, if they show the couple in action are they wearing condoms and are there pics of cum filled pussies? You can also check the people who verified them to see what they are like too. If no mention of condoms or safe sex is made then that can put me off, some say "I only do safe sex on the first meet but may do bare back on the second", what changes between the two meets? Being a man it makes things easy, you have the cock so you can put your own condom on and I don't think many people will try and stop you lol They're cheap enough so just get a box from the supermarket and I can't imagine you running out on a meet, unless you can manage more than 12 partners/ejaculations, I can't lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/04/10 18:40:03]

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

It seems that everyone agrees even the pro-bareback that using a condom is safer. What seems to be undetermined is ‘how much’ safer is it? So what’s the point of going bareback? For some, no point at all but for others they might say it’s a million times better. So the real question is does the extra pleasure outweigh the extra risk?

Some people can answer that question in one simply because they believe using a condom provides a massive safety margin and or not using a condom creates so much fear they cannot enjoy any pleasure from sex without one, hence condom AlWAYS and NEVER without. Equally some people will derive no pleasure from sex with a condom.

It doesn’t make anyone right or wrong it is simply a personal choice but it still remains that using a condom does not provide as much protection from infection as people seem to think it does… or does it? It would seem that no one really knows for sure!

Correct me if I wrong but I think the phrase ‘safe sex’ was invented as part of a government campaign to make it look like they were doing something about AIDS when AIDS became public back in the 80’s. The Gay Plague as the heterosexual public tagged it didn’t turn into a modern day Black Death for which the government claimed credit for, saying that it was their safe sex campaign that contained it. And at the same time it seems that the gay communities took things on board and before long it was the heterosexuals leading the field in sexual infections. This all suggests that using a condom seriously reduces the risk of acquiring a sexual infection. Or maybe people just stopped sleeping around partaking of casual sex?

But here’s the thing, with or without a condom… Swingers typically have a lot more than an average amount of sexual partners and for that reason ALL swingers, condom or not are relatively HIGH RISK. It is simple exponential mathematics, just pick a number, say a male swinger has sex with ten different people in a year, each of his ten had ten each, and each of those ten had ten each… 10 x 100 x 1000… so the guy you had sex with the other day has connected you biologically to a 1000 more people in just three steps!!! According to reports 1 in 2400 are HIV carriers in the UK so now move to step four in the exponential equation and you find you have an indirect biological link to HIV. It’s a good job as someone pointed out (sorry name escapes me just now) that payload is an important factor in transferring infections. Hence personal hygiene, a damn good wash before sex and a damn good wash after sex is probably more important than using a condom.

Be lucky,

Dave

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think the age gap thing has a lot to do with attituted towards "safe" sex.

i was brought up in the generation when aids first made its appearence and the adverts and campaigns and the start of condoms and safe sex and its somethin i have paid great attention to!

the risk of pregnancy in the teen years and the shame it would have brought and plus no way could i have went to the doc for the pill in case he told my mum or she found it!!

the fear of a dose too was enough to convince me condoms ruled!! but as i said at beginning, different age groups have different attitudes but personally for me in this lifestyle and amount of sexual partners i would rather attempt to minimise risk than live with the guilt of havin gave someone something xx

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By *ohjaneCouple
over a year ago

south staffs

I still cannot believe that there are some swingers who only have a GUM check-up every 6 months !!!!

Jane

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By *oobCouple
over a year ago

Netherlands

"I still cannot believe that there are some swingers who only have a GUM check-up every 6 months !!!!

Jane "

Rather embarrassingly, I ( Mr Doob ), just went to google thinking there was some sort of mouth infection I should be worried about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I still cannot believe that there are some swingers who only have a GUM check-up every 6 months !!!!

Jane "

I'm lucky to get a meet once every 6 months lol I'm sure theres people on here who have never been to a clinic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I still cannot believe that there are some swingers who only have a GUM check-up every 6 months !!!!

Jane "

how often do you go just out of curiosity?

its 6 months for me i felt it was adequate as its condoms everytime and not exactly a great amount of meets? on average once a month if that xx

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

I think if you are in the sex for sale industry you would get checked more regularly, or if you are into shagging all and sundry.

I personally don't feel the need to get tested every couple of months.

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

Its not the time inbetween it's what you are doing in between - like how often you meet new couples, how often you only play with regular friends (your 'inner circle'), how much you trust your friends and to put it bluntly, if you think you have any worrying symptoms!.

We wouldn't say six months is unreasonable at all. Not going ever does seem to be but then some folks possibly only ever swap with one other couple ever and stick with them so who are we to say?

We do have good friends of nearly three years who are soft swingers only (we personally know them now much better socially though we have soft-swung with them on the odd occasion), We know they have never been ever. That doesn't seem too unreasonable to us either though some will probably disagree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its not the time inbetween it's what you are doing in between - like how often you meet new couples, how often you only play with regular friends (your 'inner circle'), how much you trust your friends and to put it bluntly, if you think you have any worrying symptoms!.

We wouldn't say six months is unreasonable at all. Not going ever does seem to be but then some folks possibly only ever swap with one other couple ever and stick with them so who are we to say?

xx"

its usually just the inner circle for me still with the rubber pals!no group or couples, and if i did have any worryin symptoms i would be straight down to the docs!!

so i think il just stick with the 6 months feels its more than sufficient if everythin seems ok xx

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

I go every 6 months

I am a covered girl only and rarely suck cock so dont feel the risk is that great

When I have small gangbangs at the club, all the guys are covered and the condoms are fresh for our use

I think my risk is therefore minimalised

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to have a routine check mot every 12weeks when I have my depro injection and yes I love oral love giving and I have regular checks at the dentist too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I tend to have a routine check mot every 12weeks when I have my depro injection and yes I love oral love giving and I have regular checks at the dentist too"

as in vaginal swabs etc?? x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/04/10 11:37:38]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes i do would rather be safe at the end of the day I have two children. And this is the lifestyle I choose I cant do relationships but love sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well done!!! xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you and yes it does depend on how much you have sex and how many partners and using a condom is safer but they can split and not 100%

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think if you are in the sex for sale industry you would get checked more regularly, or if you are into shagging all and sundry.

I personally don't feel the need to get tested every couple of months."

Likewise!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinging is a risk its high risk even with condoms thay come off thay can split when a woman is wet its easy for condoms to come of ,,,, just from kissing you can get all sorts and oral so i think getting your checks is the only way you can have peace of mind your safe .... and its very easy no big deal makes me smile people thinking condoms saves them from everything you can get from swinging so theres no need to get a check up done ,,,

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

" Swinging is a risk its high risk even with condoms thay come off thay can split when a woman is wet its easy for condoms to come of ,,,, just from kissing you can get all sorts and oral so i think getting your checks is the only way you can have peace of mind your safe .... and its very easy no big deal makes me smile people thinking condoms saves them from everything you can get from swinging so theres no need to get a check up done ,,,"

I think you will find we are saying we don't feel the need for checks every other month as we don't shag every male that messages us.....

We are not saying no need for checks at all.

Unless of course you are advocating a full check up within two weeks of every meet?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you will find we are saying we don't feel the need for checks every other month as we don't shag every male that messages us.....

We are not saying no need for checks at all.

Jane you do have a way with words but yes, spot on!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest, sexual health checks are far more important than condoms are, so many people get a false sense of security with condoms, it should be mandatory for every sexually active person to be checked annually.

We’ve all heard the horror stories of women becoming sterile due to chlamydia, condoms or lack of them are often the cause of blame, rightly so, but a simple check-up would also have prevented these things happening, safe sex should never be associated with condoms alone, but regular visits to the gum clinic should, regardless of the risks you’re comfortable taking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree that health checks are moe important

Condoms produce a false sense of confidence. They are still the most unreliable form of contraception. They break, burst, fall off, and are badly fitted.

Good personal hygiene and a high level of personal awareness are always the best protection.

And, of course, respect for others' wishes about using any form of contraception or protection.

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

I think you will find we are saying we don't feel the need for checks every other month as we don't shag every male that messages us.....

We are not saying no need for checks at all.

Unless of course you are advocating a full check up within two weeks of every meet?"

... "We" as in yourselves or "we" as in swinging community in general? (else could suggest only males can pass stuff? Suggests gay females catch nothing?) just being in a funny weird mood today, realising I got 2 weeks of... nothing planned, lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

iv got plenty of garden and housework and decoratin needin done if you at a loose end......

gay, straight, bi, male or female, tv/cd everyone can pass something!! xx

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

Just had a wink off a couple who ONLY do bare back - their verification list was interesting as some there say they always practice safe sex! Thanks for the wink and all parties duly blocked just in case I forget who they are and they get in touch in the future! Each to their own but you should really be honest about this practice surely! Z

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By *INKKKYMan
over a year ago

LIVERPOOL/ WIRRAL

come on surely thats the easiest question ever aired on here? you ensure safe sex by using condoms, as for oral for the man its a case of you 'buy your ticket you take your chance!' but at the very least you should use condoms thats about as safe as you can be i think!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fact middle aged people are catching more stds than 18 to 25 year olds is this because we are more promiscuous ie swinging and having more partners

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

"Just had a wink off a couple who ONLY do bare back - their verification list was interesting as some there say they always practice safe sex! Thanks for the wink and all parties duly blocked just in case I forget who they are and they get in touch in the future! Each to their own but you should really be honest about this practice surely! Z"

@Zoe

Have you considered maybe the couple who say they ONLY do bareback are the ones being dishonest and in fact *sometimes* do safe?

Can we ask a personal Q?

There are some couples on our verifications who say they only do safe and are being honest about that, even with us they only did safe. Would you have them all blocked? Having said that we don't say we *only* do bareback as that is not true.

You don't have us blocked by the way - which we do appreciate as we are honest on profile maybe that's why?

@Shaz

for our point of view there is some truth in saying that it's the couples late 30s onwards who are more likely to do it

and ones late 40s onwards much more likely to. So we have found anyway

j&r

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

[Removed by poster at 26/04/10 21:51:19]

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

@Zoe

Have you considered maybe the couple who say they ONLY do bareback are the ones being dishonest and in fact *sometimes* do safe?

Can we ask a personal Q?

You don't have us blocked by the way - which we do appreciate as we are honest on profile maybe that's why?

@Shaz

for our point of view there is some truth in saying that it's the couples late 30s onwards who are more likely to do it

and ones late 40s onwards much more likely to. So we have found anyway

j&r"

Haven't looked at your profile but wouldn't block you just because you don't always practice 'safe' sex - blocked the others as they had played with the couple that only do bb but say they pracice 'safe' sex - to be honest the people who say they only do bb may in fact be lying and also do safe - don't give two hoots to be honest! Z

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fact middle aged people are catching more stds than 18 to 25 year olds is this because we are more promiscuous ie swinging and having more partners"

We think its because many older people have had either a vasectomy or been sterilised and are under the misapprehension that it will keep them STD free.

As can be seen by some profiles on here!

XXXX

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

Yeah quite possibly tracenrick we've certainly seen profiles that say 'will bareback if your guy is vasectomised'

What is true though is that if a woman has had an hysterectomy it will keep her safe from *some* of the nasty side effects of many STDs, though it won't stop her acquiring them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It might not effect her but she will still be a carrier Chlamydia can go undetected for years without symptoms and it is the girl who carrys the virus and passes it on.

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place

"come on surely thats the easiest question ever aired on here? you ensure safe sex by using condoms, as for oral for the man its a case of you 'buy your ticket you take your chance!' but at the very least you should use condoms thats about as safe as you can be i think! "

your partly right on this one .unfortunately condom manufacturers are allowed a 0.4% failure rate at inspection before product recall..which meanes a lot of dodgy condoms 4000 per million sold.

Also because of misuse and technical probs the US govt say you are 5 times safer using a condom and the EU say 3-5 times safer.

Unfortunately Condoms do not mean safe sex ...just safer than the alternative

.Its personal choice and you pick what risks you wish to expose yourself to as in all things in life .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sex is for pleasure -honest!

The problem with this issue when it get discussed is that it quickly turns into an exhibition of moral righteousness from so-called safe sex practitioners and a Council of Mutual Despair about STDs.

Most STDs can be cured or controlled, at least in countries with developed health systems, so awareness and caution are always useful.

It isn't even true to claim that HIV/ AIDS is a death sentence now.

Precautions, safety, awareness, cleanliness are all desirable, but don't always happen.

Throughout human existence STDs, pregnancy social trauma have always been present. None of these risks have ever stopped sex from occurring.

This is an unique time in human history when the consequences of the sexual risks that affected previous generations are no longer as dangerous as they once were.

Yes there are risks, but sex is for pleasure -honest!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"obviously STDS are on the rise, and swinging can offen lead you to 'barebacking' with unsafe people, but who still does it, and how do you ensure safe sex?"

You can't guarantee it but you have to take precautions and get tested regularly. There is only one way of being 100% safe and that's abstinence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you will find we are saying we don't feel the need for checks every other month as we don't shag every male that messages us.....

We are not saying no need for checks at all.

Unless of course you are advocating a full check up within two weeks of every meet?"
Its each to there own on this one ...... all i know i get cheeks and thay are happy to see me when ever i feel like going ... if your happy never going or only now and again fine ,, each to there own x jo

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

I think you will find we are saying we don't feel the need for checks every other month as we don't shag every male that messages us.....

We are not saying no need for checks at all.

Unless of course you are advocating a full check up within two weeks of every meet? Its each to there own on this one ...... all i know i get cheeks and thay are happy to see me when ever i feel like going ... if your happy never going or only now and again fine ,, each to there own x jo"

There you go again....assuming that I never get checked, if you feel the need to get checked every couple of weeks that is your choice.

Just because I don't broadcast how often I get checked making assumptions on my behalf is foolish.

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By *exeteraWoman
over a year ago

Bridgend

A question for those of you who wouldn't play with someone who'd had unprotected penetrative sex.

If as a lot of you are saying that you put so much onus on the use of condoms, why wouldn't you have sex with someone who had previously had unprotected sex but playing with a condom as you'd specify?

We've already previously discussed the risks of unprotected oral and the possibilty of contracting STI's that way but, if that was the case in point then the risks orally would be the same for those who use condoms for penetrative sex and those who don't surely ???? I just can't seem to get my head around the " I wont fuck her because she fucked him without a condom" if they're going to be using condoms anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

agree juicy-lucy, we thought this.

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

"A question for those of you who wouldn't play with someone who'd had unprotected penetrative sex.

I suppose it's all down to trust - I am sure that most people who practise bb have regular checks and are totally clean and clear - but there must be some that aren't. So, if we met a couple who had bb the night before and had collected something that could be passed on to us then it could possibly be passed to us even though we do use condoms for penetrative sex, so we would rather just steer clear as far as we possibly can. I know that to be totally sure you should use protection for oral and everything else, but it is a matter of degrees etc and personal choice. Z

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" I just can't seem to get my head around the " I wont fuck her because she fucked him without a condom" if they're going to be using condoms anyway

As discussed most people seem to get checked every 6 months, say the person had unprotected sex and caught something, there could be up to 6 months before they find out. In the meantime you come along and have oral sex and penetrative sex with a condom, now you could have caught it too and you may not know either till your next check up. Condoms don't make it completely safe but I feel a whole lot better knowing that I am minimizing the risk in some way.

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place

" I just can't seem to get my head around the " I wont fuck her because she fucked him without a condom" if they're going to be using condoms anyway

yeah your right ,but it is the risk factor and everyone has different levels of acceptable risk .If you assume condoms are not 100% foolproof ,then everytime you have oral or penetrative by rights you should wait 3 months after testing to ensure you have not contracted hiv...not going to happen is it ,so there is compromise ..the thing is that some people have crunched the numbers and realised it is acceptable for them to not use a condom ..fair enough as long as they let everyone know so that they can make there choice too eh .

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By *exeteraWoman
over a year ago

Bridgend

" I just can't seem to get my head around the " I wont fuck her because she fucked him without a condom" if they're going to be using condoms anyway

But most of us it appears do not take seriously the risks related to unprotected oral sex that appear to be on par with unprotected penetrative sex.

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"A question for those of you who wouldn't play with someone who'd had unprotected penetrative sex.

Because there is an extra risk that a bloke or woman who has unprotected penatrative sex could POSSIBLY have something catching on their cock or in their pussy.

There is no way of knowing the risks associated with unprotected oral sex, BUT, to us, if I was to stick my gob round a cock that barebacks, it's just a further risk that I can eliminate by not playing with barebackers.

At the end of the day, it's OUR choice and it's others choice to play bareback but there is no law that says we MUST play with each other.

It's all down to choice.

We WON'T play with barebackers no matter what the situation (if we know they are barebackers), the trouble is, so many people are dishonest that you can't always know for sure. All we can do is cut back the risks as WE see fit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well im evicting the fish from the old milton sterilizer and now its dip the wee chap in there and the balls then get the condom on!! xx

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By *exeteraWoman
over a year ago

Bridgend

"A question for those of you who wouldn't play with someone who'd had unprotected penetrative sex.

Because there is an extra risk that a bloke or woman who has unprotected penatrative sex could POSSIBLY have something catching on their cock or in their pussy.

At the end of the day, it's OUR choice and it's others choice to play bareback but there is no law that says we MUST play with each other.

It's all down to choice.

We know the risks of unprotected oral sex, they're specified on numerous websites. We're at same/similar risks whilst performing oral as we are if we have unprotected penetrative sex. There is no way of having safe sex just safer sex it appears.

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

And that's not to mention rimming, gushing, swallowing, fems-fem sex and a multitude of other common practices on the swinging scene that don't happen so much in the vanilla world

One thing it's so nice to see though, at last it appears people are allowed to make their own decisions around here now (and also try to explain why they do) without being called names much

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And that's not to mention rimming, gushing, swallowing, fems-fem sex and a multitude of other common practices on the swinging scene that don't happen so much in the vanilla world

One thing it's so nice to see though, at last it appears people are allowed to make their own decisions around here now (and also try to explain why they do) without being called names much

I couldn't agree more!

Previous discussions have been appaling.

This time, balanced, friendly points of view have been discussed openly. Free of pointless accusations and name calling.

I regret one my previous postings because it did phrase things badly.

Now the issues are coming out in a balanced, logical way.

Do I detect even convergence between different viewpoints too?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

One thing it's so nice to see though, at last it appears people are allowed to make their own decisions around here now (and also try to explain why they do) without being called names much

It would be nicer still if you stopped feeling the need to mention that fact. It is almost like you are trying to provoke a reaction......

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By *exeteraWoman
over a year ago

Bridgend

It's great to be able to have an adult debate and I hope that it's opened people's eyes to the various ways of contracting sti's if nothing else. I've personally found it very informative.

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

Hi Rugbys

No, that's not the case not at all - you just have to bear in mind we chose to absent ourselves from the forums for a good 6 months or so then came back to find it.... well...... different (for the better) that's all

xxx

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

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By *ngel.8oCouple
over a year ago

cross hands

can we watch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you will find we are saying we don't feel the need for checks every other month as we don't shag every male that messages us.....

We are not saying no need for checks at all.

There you go again....assuming that I never get checked, if you feel the need to get checked every couple of weeks that is your choice.

Just because I don't broadcast how often I get checked making assumptions on my behalf is foolish."
why on eath do you think i am singling you out on this one ? its just i find it hard to belive people even when thay say thay go ... i know woman who shag 3 or 4 men a week and go with fems too never had them ,,, and do all this behind there patners back and make out thay never meet all most like virgins ,, lol so i take it on myself to get my own cheeks its really up to you if you do or you dont ... I look after me. JO XX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can catch an STD whether your bi,gay,married or single, that's the risk we all take going with someone we've never met before..

Condoms reduce the chance of being infected. The thing to remember is get yourself screened on a regular basis 1 month after your last sexual encounter and if you practice bareback intercourse 3 months.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A question for those of you who wouldn't play with someone who'd had unprotected penetrative sex.

i think peoples views are if a condom splits or comes off theres less chance of catching something if they play with people who only use protection

But i agree its a pointless act, i could do bareback regular, read a guys profile who states he only used protection and plays with other who also do, message him and tell him i never go bareback, and meet.....point im getting at is people will lie to get a meet!!

Also you could meet someone who genuinely only uses condoms for sex who passes on genital warts to you that they picked up from their last oral session

It really is a pointless act, we know the risks, we do the best we can to protect outselves and hope, and thats about all you can do lol

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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

Seeing as no one apparently wanted to answer earlier about the forms of foreplay question and what is considered 'safe' and what is not (compared to bareback).....

Here's some of the ones we have come personally across even amongst couples who *insist* on condoms for penetrative sex.

We wonder how folks feel about them, and more to the point do you do any of these yourselves..... which obviously means you are OK with the various risks

involved..

A couple meets a couple - one or both women suck two guys at the same time - which involves two cocks rubbing together, obviously

Two bi girls sharing toys for penetration without putting condoms on them and changing them as 'required.

Three or four women sharing a strap-on in turn one after the other to fuck each other in various combinations. (though must admit that one is very nice to see/do regardless of risks lol)

Two bi girls sharing a 'double ender', taking it in all the way and rubbing their pussy lips together. Or just rubbing them together without the toy 'scissor sister' style

Bi girl fingering another bi girl then immediately grasping own partners cock with the same hand and wanking it over the other girls tits

We'll bet there there plenty more examples and why not cos they are fun, yet all these things we have personally seen from couples who then do insist on condoms for penetrative sex.

Could anyone say we are the exception in seeing these things?

Or at least explain to us why that all makes sense to do yet still insist on condoms over willies for penetration because to be honest to us it does not

Unless it is true that the only way to pass on an STI is with a cock in a pussy (or an asshole) and all else is fair game?

xxx

j&r

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If i play at the club where yes I am guilty of having multiple partners partners then toys condoms on and changed between partners and have found something new to play with the latex glove used with the right tecnique 100% gush rate. And yes I do give oral but dont swallow. The girls I play with all carry wash bags some carry their handbags some even carry anti bacterial wipes to wipe the bed down before we play.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Seeing as no one apparently wanted to answer earlier about the forms of foreplay question and what is considered 'safe' and what is not (compared to bareback).....