FabSwingers.com forum: is politeness a thing of the past?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

how annoying is it when you mail someone with a polite "fancy meeting up"

message and get no reply?

a polite "no thanks" is better than nothing surely?

it seems less and less people bother to reply either way.

is it a swinger thing or a decline in standards generally?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We think its rude too, but its just the way it is ,we have got used to it now, although we usually reply to everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"how annoying is it when you mail someone with a polite "fancy meeting up"

message and get no reply?

a polite "no thanks" is better than nothing surely?

it seems less and less people bother to reply either way.

is it a swinger thing or a decline in standards generally?"

We find no replies a bit annoying but over the years have accepted it as a fact of life as a swinger. Generally we always reply, depending on the wording of the message, but we're sure one or two have been accidently missed

Never had one from Grimsby though

K&T xx xx

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By *riapus4uMan
over a year ago

Charlestown, Cornwall

I think it is genrally decline in standards & the way people have been bought up.

You think your hard done to!, you should put yourself in the shoe's of single guys on here, it happens all the time.

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By *riapus4uMan
over a year ago

Charlestown, Cornwall

Sorry!!, 'brought up.

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By *plpxp2Couple
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

Perhaps an automated no thanks option would solve the problem: delete and decline with the ability to personalise your response?

We always try and reply to serious emails, but when someone cannot be bothered to say anything other than "lets shag", it gets a bit tedious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Different places have different protocols.

Your walking in the countryside, 99% will say hello to you and you to them, Pass them in the high st and nothing.

Here (Fab), seems to be if they are interested they will reply, you know if they have read your message, even if they have deleted it, so it should be quite clear that they are not interested, only deduction eh Watson!

Of course it would be great if everyone did what we expect them to do, but alas, we are all not the same

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By *ouvakMan
over a year ago

clacton on sea

its the same old onion lol, so it happen's but hey does it really matter ?

ok so it's a mark of how societies out look has declined over the years, and yes an automated reply might and i mean might level things out somewhat, but then you'll still get people who wont or can't be bothered to reply, so my dear FAB friends learn to live with the fact that in this life you'll always come across ignorance in one form or the other, and no matter how easy you make it for other's to reply, it's always going to be the way of the few who can't be bothered to reply not to do so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It doesn't annoy us in the slightest lifes short enough as it is, but to get annoyed because someobdy you have never met, probably never will meet, has failed to respond to a few lines of text on a computer screen

Jeeeeeeez I wish that's all we had to get stressed about.

If we get a reply great, if we don't - who cares ? there are plenty more fish in the sea.

What people need to keep in perspective is that this is only a hobby, a game, a bit of fun - for crying out loud stop taking it all so bloody seriously

Move on and stop moaning

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

i try to be polite as much a possible, declining those i dont wish to take things further.

trouble is not every one is grascious when being told they are not what i want and i often get back emails asking me to justify why i dont want to play with them!!!!!!!!!!!

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By *im53Man
over a year ago

Boldon

well said

just accsept thats the way it is

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

Free Will

Freedom of Choice

blah blah blah

People don't reply cus they don't have to.

Do you answer ALL your junk mail? No, thought not.

Do you say hello to everyone in the supermarket? No, thought not.

We don't reply to those that don't interest us cus we got fed up with the abuse we got back and the whining "why not".......

You are not going to be everyone's choice so why should they all reply?

It's got fuck all to do with good manners, not being rude, politness etc.

It's got everything to do with whether THEY want to reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Free Will

Freedom of Choice

blah blah blah

People don't reply cus they don't have to.

Do you answer ALL your junk mail? No, thought not.

Do you say hello to everyone in the supermarket? No, thought not.

We don't reply to those that don't interest us cus we got fed up with the abuse we got back and the whining "why not".......

You are not going to be everyone's choice so why should they all reply?

It's got fuck all to do with good manners, not being rude, politness etc.

It's got everything to do with whether THEY want to reply.

If there is a line that will keep me laughing this morning it has to be .......

'It's got fuck all to do with good manners.'

Im still grinning.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I understand what the OP is saying but what those above have said is true. Good manners are great yes, but not everyone bothers so we all have to live with it and forget those that annoy us for whatever reason. People will be rude sometimes and let you down, but they in return will have it done to them at some point ... move on quickly, it's not the be all and end all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Perhaps an automated no thanks option would solve the problem: delete and decline with the ability to personalise your response?

We always try and reply to serious emails, but when someone cannot be bothered to say anything other than "lets shag", it gets a bit tedious.

ooo thats a good idea, that way people would always get a response. My profile sets out what i dont want with a comment "and if you dont get a reply this is why" but sometimes i do reply more so to those that live far away as financially, im struggling and cant travel far, and im always polite in my message even when i feel crap

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

"how annoying is it when you mail someone with a polite "fancy meeting up"

message and get no reply?

a polite "no thanks" is better than nothing surely?

it seems less and less people bother to reply either way.

is it a swinger thing or a decline in standards generally?"

What you havent said is this the first time you emailed the person/persons? If so then you havent shown that you read their profile by commenting on something in their profile. I was be annoyed if I got that message as a first time message. If I had been chatting with them a bit and established a good conversation etc then a message like that is fine.

For me a one liner from a couple or a single isnt good because I can tell if a person has bothered to read my profile or not. I had a message the other day asking if I could meet up this week. They hadnt read my profile and clearly didnt see the bit about short notice meets.

So yes it would annoy me. I like to think that someone has taken the time to read my profile and actually notice what has been written. Also why assume just because of the nature of the site that the couple/person assume I would like to meet up and play when they may have not read my profile, not sent me face pics and not conversed at all.

If my profile says fucks anything with a pulse and not bothered with face pics, am free anytime then I expect to get a one line chat up. But mine doesnt.

If people dont read my profile then dont be surprised when I point it out and the responce you get!

This is my decision for all that dont read profiles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Provide an automated response and that will simply generate another flood of forum threads ......

'Why do people use the auto responder - a personal reply would be nice'

I can see it now

At the end of the day people don't reply because they don't have to - it's as simple as that, but if you want to take it as a personal snub then that's your own tough shit ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I reply to all my junk mail in the post

People who contact me when they "wont meet smokers" single guys who mail us when we "dont meet single guys" all those that contact us and have not read our profile so have not put the "egg whisk" in thier message that we ask them to showing they bothered to read our profile, people who contact us knowing we are outside thier age criteria.

Who is the one without the manners if we don't reply ?

As it is we do reply to all mails, but we don't reply to all the offers of cheap house insurance, cavity wall insulation leaflets, pizza delivery services and the like that come through our letterbox.

It is good that some people out there do repsond to this junk mail, I am sure the pizza shop and insurance companies love to get your replies, and reply you must because someone protesting so loudly about others could not possibly have double standards could they

Or is it that a "no reply" is saying "sorry not interested"

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Jedsasha I agree that if someone cant be arsed to read your profile then dont be surprised when they dont respond or you get a slightly rude responce. I only meet those who make the effort to READ. If you send me a "fancy meeting up" and that it is, means your another on the cant be arsed list! If you cant be arsed I wonder how much effort would be put into the actual sex, maybe they cant be arsed with that too...

(here comes the hate mail) But I am honest.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

If I started to consider the demise of politeness in society in general due to a non reply to a message on here I would tell myself to get out more

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By *riapus4uMan
over a year ago

Charlestown, Cornwall

"I understand what the OP is saying but what those above have said is true. Good manners are great yes, but not everyone bothers so we all have to live with it and forget those that annoy us for whatever reason. People will be rude sometimes and let you down, but they in return will have it done to them at some point ... move on quickly, it's not the be all and end all

I'm learning to move on & will get there eventualy!!.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

some interesting replies,thanks folks.

think maybe the people who arent bothered wether they get a reply or not are the same people who dont bother replying.

yes,its not the end of the world but is an increasing sign of the amount of timewasters,wannabes and fakes making their way into swinging.

btw,all our messages are personal and relevant to the profile and not just generic "fancy a shag" type nonsense.

n&d.xxx

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

yes,its not the end of the world but is an increasing sign of the amount of timewasters,wannabes and fakes making their way into swinging.

Are you saying that just because someone chooses not to reply to you, that they are a timewaster, wannabe or a fake?

Nice notion. NOT

I wouldn't reply to you cus you ain't what we are looking for........ yet, as you can see from our verifications we are not timewasters, wannabes or fakes.

Thanks for tarring us all with the same brush!

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

If I am sending a message to someone to show an interest in them then I read their profile then comment on something in their profile or comments but something to show them I have made the effort to actually read their profile.

If I get no responce it must mean that they are not interested in me or I have missed something essential in their profile ie body size or age range.....

I dont assume they are fakes or time wasters. Just not interested in me. I dont know them from adam so wont generalise them as not the nicest of people to meet. Maybe they have had 10 emails that day with one line messages and are so fed up with them.

If I sent them a simple message like fancy meeting up(1 liner) then its even more unlikely they will mail me back(in my opinion).

I suggest everyone makes the effort when mailing people to show an interest. If we compare it to being at a pub for example. you see a lady you like and she makes eye contact with you and you smile at her. Is she likely to come over and chat with you if you looked at her and didnt bother to smile? doubt it. Make the effort and maybe it will be returned. Dont make the effort and dont be surprised at the responce.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"some interesting replies,thanks folks.

think maybe the people who arent bothered wether they get a reply or not are the same people who dont bother replying.

yes,its not the end of the world but is an increasing sign of the amount of timewasters,wannabes and fakes making their way into swinging.

btw,all our messages are personal and relevant to the profile and not just generic "fancy a shag" type nonsense.

n&d.xxx"

Thats not true about the people who are not bothered about replying are the ones who dont reply...

We reply to most emails,but we wont reply to idiot emails.

We send emails and if we dont get a reply we assume that we are not what the other people are looking for and can honestly say it doesnt bother us not to get a reply.

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By *aughty_kittyWoman
over a year ago

finger licking good

how boring, if someone dont reply to your message their rude ha ha...

take the no reply as a message bk, i for one aint gonna waste my time emailing someone sayinf no thanks.,

lets all cry cos people aint replying!!

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"some interesting replies,thanks folks.

think maybe the people who arent bothered wether they get a reply or not are the same people who dont bother replying.

Ill reply to the people that have read my profile and if they have read the profile they would wink and not send a message as that is what ive asked people to do now......I dont like not being able to reply to all messages so ive given people another option thats quicker and easier

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By *tormchaserMan
over a year ago

Bury

If only someone sent me a "fancy meeting up" message for me to ignore!

Appreciate it's difficult now I am in Dublin, but twas ever thus.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It doesn't annoy us in the slightest lifes short enough as it is, but to get annoyed because someobdy you have never met, probably never will meet, has failed to respond to a few lines of text on a computer screen

Jeeeeeeez I wish that's all we had to get stressed about.

If we get a reply great, if we don't - who cares ? there are plenty more fish in the sea.

What people need to keep in perspective is that this is only a hobby, a game, a bit of fun - for crying out loud stop taking it all so bloody seriously

Move on and stop moaning "

Couldn't have put it better myself!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"some interesting replies,thanks folks.

think maybe the people who arent bothered wether they get a reply or not are the same people who dont bother replying.

yes,its not the end of the world but is an increasing sign of the amount of timewasters,wannabes and fakes making their way into swinging.

btw,all our messages are personal and relevant to the profile and not just generic "fancy a shag" type nonsense.

n&d.xxx"

Two posts above yours I said WE reply to all mails but are not bothered if people reply to ours.

We are probably some to those wannabes and fakes your talking about.

And the 64 verifications for real meets are probably fake too

Personally I would be more inclined to worry about people making sweeping, generalised statements about others than I would be bothered about getting a reply to a mail or not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

iv already hit my offendin quota this wk

some of us put on our profiles reasons and examples of why we wont reply.

lifes to short for flat shoes and replyin to people that dont read or just like to chance xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

oh wow!

saying lets endthe thread because abuse is starting leads to more abuse?

ive looked at some of the other threads to see if this is normal.

seems to happen occasionally.

we dont wish to join in with this.

we made a genuine point about politeness,if you cant stick to the subject,dont bother.

thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"oh wow!

saying lets endthe thread because abuse is starting leads to more abuse?

ive looked at some of the other threads to see if this is normal.

seems to happen occasionally.

we dont wish to join in with this.

we made a genuine point about politeness,if you cant stick to the subject,dont bother.

thanks"

all threads go off subject this one hasnt really??

there hasnt been any abuse just peoples opinion some more to the point than others. the forums can be a fun place honestly if you are willing to accept that everyone see's things differently xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

thanks for some of the kind responses.

were trying not to generalise but its difficult without writing as essay.

xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

better an essay than a punishment exercise lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find using the word "some" helps and tends to be the truth.

Some people

Some couples

Some men

Some women

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

will write out 100 times

"we are not worthy" lol

dont get me wrong,i love a good slanging match,just didnt think this was the place.

thought that was reserved for the chat rooms.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"will write out 100 times

"we are not worthy" lol

dont get me wrong,i love a good slanging match,just didnt think this was the place.

thought that was reserved for the chat rooms.

the problem is that if you make gross generalisations without having the means to actually back them up then people look at this and rightly question and call out out on these..

be that the chatroom... or the forum..

the only difference is that only the people in the chatroom at the time can see... the forum allow people to backread...

do i take a no reply personally.... no... i take it for what it is..a no reply!! there could be a million reasons as to why i may not float someones boat... but rather than you complain about it use that energy to concentrate on those who DO like you...

its a radical concept i know... people are here to actually have fun!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"how annoying is it when you mail someone with a polite "fancy meeting up"

message and get no reply?

a polite "no thanks" is better than nothing surely?

it seems less and less people bother to reply either way.

is it a swinger thing or a decline in standards generally?"

Welcome to the forum!!

You may find this topic and topics alike have been touched on a few times, and so some of the longer term forumites have seen it all before, hence the replies being more matter of fact.

Join in the forums a little more, we'll all soon forget this thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think this thread has turned to one of abuse, hopefully for some it has been new knowledge and enlightenment, the forums have a way of showing you different opinions and views.

Sadly the written word can be harsher than the spoken word, you do have to be carefull, when you write something in here it is for everyone, however only one person is reading it on thier own pc, to that one person it is to them, when you say all or everyone or don't point out that some do some don't, perhaps or maybe then the person reading it cannot help but take it as personal.

Many will agree when I say I have fallen to the same mistakes, generalizing and condemning many when it is only a few, I am learning to be carefull how I speak in the forums, face to face there is a tone of voice which can be harsh or soft, there is no tone of voice in the forums, in here we cannot see you smile when you say something, we cannot spot the tongue in cheek so easily in the written word.

The forums talk about people's lifestyles, beliefs, opinions, ideas, thoughts and these things are important to people.

This is a place for discussion not slanging matches, you don't have to agree with everyone, you don't even have to agree with anyone, but nobody will accept another persons views being forced upon them here.

"I personally think" changes a whole sentance from a dictatorial statement to a valid opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"will write out 100 times

"we are not worthy" lol

dont get me wrong,i love a good slanging match,just didnt think this was the place.

thought that was reserved for the chat rooms.

your no exactly doin a great deal to help your case really

everyone is treated the same in here (contempt_ joking!!

because you never got the answer you wanted it it feels like your turnin things!

you are as worthy as everyone else here xx

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By *amschwingerzCouple
over a year ago

West

There isnt really much point in complaining about anything really..as the general consensus in the forums seems to be 'tough...dont worry about it, deal with it, dont let it bother you and move on'

The OP might had had a point...he might not have..I find it annoying when people send friend requests then cant be arsed to reply when you send them a brief hello message once in a while...

But its just par for the course on sites like this...some people do..some dont..just set yourself up with your own set of rules and regulations and go with them..

We just delete people if they dont want to chat...thats their choice..and ours to delete em.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This may help anyone who gets upset if they don't recieve a reply to messages. We've found the best way to word a message to someone your interested in goes along the lines of:

"Hi (Names),liked your profile and enjoyed your pics,it appears we have a lot in common.

Please take a look at ours and see if you agree.

If so we look forward to your reply,if not,have fun".

That way,if you don't recieve a reply,you know the answer.

We recieved a similar message some time back and thought it was a great way of not having to think up a negative reply,something we hate doing.

So now we send the same sort of message with a built in 'get out' for the recipient.

XXXX

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"This may help anyone who gets upset if they don't recieve a reply to messages. We've found the best way to word a message to someone your interested in goes along the lines of:

"Hi (Names),liked your profile and enjoyed your pics,it appears we have a lot in common.

Please take a look at ours and see if you agree.

If so we look forward to your reply,if not,have fun".

That way,if you don't recieve a reply,you know the answer.

We recieved a similar message some time back and thought it was a great way of not having to think up a negative reply,something we hate doing.

So now we send the same sort of message with a built in 'get out' for the recipient.

XXXX"

Thats perfect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"how annoying is it when you mail someone with a polite "fancy meeting up"

message and get no reply?

a polite "no thanks" is better than nothing surely?

it seems less and less people bother to reply either way.

is it a swinger thing or a decline in standards generally?

If my profile says fucks anything with a pulse and not bothered with face pics, am free anytime then I expect to get a one line chat up. But mine doesnt.

If people dont read my profile then dont be surprised when I point it out and the responce you get!

This is my decision for all that dont read profiles

was going to say something similar...if all u can think to put is "fancy meeting up" im just not interested as it states on my profile will delete one liners...i dont know wot it said on the couple profile u had messaged but as an opening message it doesnt do it for me at all...xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

people seem to have the wrong idea of the message we sent.

it was a "lets meet up" message but that wasnt all it said!

as said earlier all our messages are specifically written for that person and contain clues that we have read the whole profile.

jeeees,and people are saying IM too sensitive.pmsl

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"as said earlier all our messages are specifically written for that person and contain clues that we have read the whole profile."

It still doesn't give you the right to EXPECT an answer.

You don't control choice and free will in others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There has been a lot of discussion here, the general concensus seems to be that most people don't expect a reply to every mail even if they themselves send them.

There are other views and most people have accepted that some people do some people don't and the choice is purely individual.

The OP seems to be struggling with accepting free choice and personally I think they are showing themselves to be kind of set in thier ways and those ways are your way or no way.

To the extent that we would be put off meeting someone who cannot accept that others have different views.

Would you force anal on the people you meet just because you like it and your not going to respect other peoples points of view ?

Just because people don't agree with you it doesn't mean you are wrong or that they are right or that they are wrong or that you are right, it means simply that people have different opinions and in an open forum they voice them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well as a single guy i get this a lot and you know what? Well I am fine with it. If I am not what someone wants I have no problem with no reply as I mailed without someone asking me to in the first place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if no reply mayb not interested get the hint

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"Well as a single guy i get this a lot and you know what? Well I am fine with it. If I am not what someone wants I have no problem with no reply as I mailed without someone asking me to in the first place."

Thats a great attitude

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you send a no thanks back then u get abuse

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

"how annoying is it when you mail someone with a polite "fancy meeting up"

message and get no reply?

a polite "no thanks" is better than nothing surely?

it seems less and less people bother to reply either way.

is it a swinger thing or a decline in standards generally?"

Lincs in your opening thread you said you mailed someone with a polite fancy meeting up. Its naturally that people will think that is all you said. It wasnt until after that you said that wasnt the only thing you said in the mail. You may have got a better responce if you had given all the info in your first post like... mailed someone recently and in the middle of the message I suggested if they fancied meeting up that would be great. But because you had only mentioned the lets meet up bit.

Its natural then for people to think that was all you said.

Dont want to offend hun but just wanted to draw your attention to that xx

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By *amschwingerzCouple
over a year ago

West

They dont seem reluctant with us...

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"how annoying is it when you mail someone with a polite "fancy meeting up"

message and get no reply?

a polite "no thanks" is better than nothing surely?

it seems less and less people bother to reply either way.

is it a swinger thing or a decline in standards generally?"

I don't consider "fancy meeting up" to be a polite message... I think it's a ferkin lazy one and so it gets a lazy reply.... delete.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

whoops - must read thread

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By *UNCHBOXMan
over a year ago

folkestone

Depends on the different circumstances. For example on another site im on, a couple contacting me asking for me to send a face pic when we chatted on msn messenger. I didnt even have time to say hello before she demanded the face pic, which i sent, to which she replied no thanks and blocked me. So thought it was a bit rude and made a note of their profile.

Anyway they contacted me 8 times in the past 3 years each time ive told them they didnt like my face the first time so pointless chatting any more. Ive not heard from them about 8 months until this week which they asked for a face pic again. I thought to myself if they cant remember who they have messaged before then i will just delete it without replying.

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By *ouvakMan
over a year ago

clacton on sea

i'm 54 years old and i would hate to calculate how many hundreds if not thousands of individuals i've met in that time, but i've always been polite and respectful to them even if we were total strangers, it's how i was bought up.

However when dealing with people in the swing world there seems to be a different set of understandings,my main problem with this is how can you say that someone isn't for you based solely on a few lines on a profile, or a few blurry pictures,i was alway told " judge not lest thee be judged" and i use this in my real life as well as my swing life too, i judge no one on what i might read in their profile but wholly on what i glean from personal contact,so after initial mails to and fro, the first meet is still an evaluation meet, to see if i or they want to take things on to the next stage, this being a personal choice in dealing with the swinger in general and others outside swingland too.

i'd like to hear just how many people out there have had someone say to them at sometime in their lives " god i didn't ever think you and he/she were right for each other" i know i've said it a few times in the past, and i've heard it said many times too.

Initial contact in any form is the most important time in any relationship and what is said can effect the whole out come, so keep it to the point, brief, polite and add in a touch of personality and humor.

Lets face it if you were out in a bar and you said some of the things i've seen said in e-mails, you'd have no recourse if you got a slap in the face for it, so why put it in an e-mail if you wouldn't say it to someones face ?, cowardice seems to come to mind, just because you can do it from behind the safety of a computer keyboard.

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"how annoying is it when you mail someone with a polite "fancy meeting up"

message and get no reply?

a polite "no thanks" is better than nothing surely?

it seems less and less people bother to reply either way.

is it a swinger thing or a decline in standards generally?"

Is all you put in your message "Fancy meeting up"? If so I would not reply to you. It is like a single guys message of "Hi. Fancy a fuck?".

Even if you do write more than a one line message you have to remember some women and couples get 20 - 100+ messages EVERY day. If you was getting that many messages daily would you reply to them all? I know I woudn't.

The best way to look at is no reply means a polite no thank you.

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"some interesting replies,thanks folks.

think maybe the people who arent bothered wether they get a reply or not are the same people who dont bother replying.

yes,its not the end of the world but is an increasing sign of the amount of timewasters,wannabes and fakes making their way into swinging.

btw,all our messages are personal and relevant to the profile and not just generic "fancy a shag" type nonsense.

n&d.xxx"

Wait until you send a reply saying thanks but no thanks then get abusive e-mail or e-mails back asking why not. Then you will understand why people don't reply to every message they get.

Also without trying to be harsh or rude maybe you could put more in your profile? Likes, dislikes, type of people looking to meet etc. Maybe some people you message read your profile and think it says nothing about you so I can't make a decision about meeting you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As we have said many times, we always reply to every mail and even to many winks or friends invites even when we are not interested.

I cannot recall ever getting an abusive reply to a "no thanks" reply but I do get annoyed when people will not take NO means NO as the rule and argue why we should meet them.

For example : we sent a thanks but no thanks reply to a couple because I was 15 years outside thier age criteria, they came back with

"oh we only put that age on there so the pervy single old men dont contact us"

Old men like me are old men, being part of a couple may make me feel younger does not make me actually younger and the sexual views I have are still coming from an "old man" I don't think I am a pervert nor do I think single men are perverts just because they want to have sex. To me thier reply just confirmed that they had an issue with age.

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