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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Inspired by the “cream pie” thread.

For those that do not play bareback,

Would you play with people who DID do bareback, if they were happy to use a condom when they played with you?

Or, would knowing that they usually play bareback put you off playing with them at all?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

i guess we should go first.

no, we would not play with them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Inspired by the “cream pie” thread.

For those that do not play bareback,

Would you play with people who DID do bareback, if they were happy to use a condom when they played with you?

Or, would knowing that they usually play bareback put you off playing with them at all?

"

NEVER - condoms can break

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People who do bareback are just a "no go zone" for us.

Its a risk Vs reward situation, there are plenty who do practice safer sex, so why increase any risk.

Our opinion is that if you play with enough people bareback, who have played with enough other people playing bareback then you WILL contract something.

The Russian roulette analogy is a good one, I might be tempted (if the reward was worth it) to play Russian roulette with one bullet loaded in one million attempts. NO reward would make me play with a gun loaded with 1 in 6, 2 in 6, maybe even as much as 5 in 6.

I don't play the lottery because the chances of winning are maybe 1 in 17 million. If anyone tells you the odds of contracting something playing bareback are more than 1 in 17 million, well you see where I'm going with this.

Its a choice thing, we choose one way, I respect the right for others to choose theirs, but as the question was "would it put us off playing" then yes, 100%. Just not worth the extra risk.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes im happy to go along with whatever people prefer, its fine by me, id never push/force a person into doing what i want but equally, id expect the same

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By *illwill69uMan
over a year ago

moston


"Inspired by the “cream pie” thread.

For those that do not play bareback,

Would you play with people who DID do bareback, if they were happy to use a condom when they played with you?

Or, would knowing that they usually play bareback put you off playing with them at all?

NEVER - condoms can break"

sorry you lost me here

is that you will never play with those that admit to playing bareback

or that you will never play because condoms can break

or is it that you only play with those who admit to bareback play because condoms can break?

What do all you condom only people do when after 2 or 3 meets your partners say "we normally play bareback after we get to know people"

Just wondering?

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *ohjaneCouple
over a year ago

south staffs

That is another good point Will. People have said that to me, and I ask what they think might make me safer the 2nd or 3rd time, but not the first ???

Jane x

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *ignbouncybabeWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

I cancelled a meet a few weeks ago because he had a verification on his profile who stated in theirs they did bare back only, he offered to go and get checked out (yeah right)but it was a no go for me even though i would have been using a condom with him.

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus


"

What do all you condom only people do when after 2 or 3 meets your partners say "we normally play bareback after we get to know people"

Just wondering?"

Tell them to piss off.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If we are aware that a potential meet plays bareback, then No, we wont make any plans to meet, whether or not they are willing to play safe with us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you always believe everything you read, or are told by people here?

So, someone tells you they always play safe....do you believe them?

There is a massive amount of trust and mistrust being displayed here

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you always believe everything you read, or are told by people here?

So, someone tells you they always play safe....do you believe them?

There is a massive amount of trust and mistrust being displayed here"

No, of course not, but that's no reason to not try to take the best precautions available and still play is it?.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Inspired by the “cream pie” thread.

For those that do not play bareback,

Would you play with people who DID do bareback, if they were happy to use a condom when they played with you?

Or, would knowing that they usually play bareback put you off playing with them at all?

"

In a word NO! There are plenty out there who do take precautions so we would choose to play with them.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you always believe everything you read, or are told by people here?

So, someone tells you they always play safe....do you believe them?

There is a massive amount of trust and mistrust being displayed here

No, of course not, but that's no reason to not try to take the best precautions available and still play is it?."

You're still relying on what people tell you though aren't you? My point was, who do you believe, and who don't you believe?

It's in all our interests to play safe all of the time, but at the end of the day, we are all taking chances, maybe small ones, but chances nontheless

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

Agree with post above - if you're told the other people you are going to have sex with always play safe then you believe them but they might be playing bareback all the time! Z

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you always believe everything you read, or are told by people here?

So, someone tells you they always play safe....do you believe them?

There is a massive amount of trust and mistrust being displayed here

No, of course not, but that's no reason to not try to take the best precautions available and still play is it?.

You're still relying on what people tell you though aren't you? My point was, who do you believe, and who don't you believe?

It's in all our interests to play safe all of the time, but at the end of the day, we are all taking chances, maybe small ones, but chances nontheless "

state the bleeding obvious why not, of course we are still relying on people being honest, but then, those playing bareback are also relying on people being honest when they say they are clean, disease free, etc etc.

But still, we choose to take precautions the best we can, that's all we can really do, and if we take precautions then it's a start.

You have safe sex ticked on your requirements, so I can only assume you too play safely, so either, you do and therefore take your own route of precaution, or you don't and just lie to look that way, if you take your own precautions, then are you asking for tips? or do you have any you would like to share?.

Like going to a take away/restaurant/cafe, there's no guessing who will or wont spit in your food, all we can do is try to get it right.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By *-and-KCouple
over a year ago

Back of Beyond

Deffo a no go zone for us as well. Sometimes not knowing is the best course of action! We had been chatting with a couple for a while recently, even down to arranging a meeting, when the latest batch of pics from them showed sex with several men and no condoms.

That put us off, its just adding to the risk whether you have condoms or not.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

condoms/bareback or not..a question came to me....

if you always use a condom..but there was a mishap with a previous meet and the condom broke..would you tell people you potentially plan to meet??

Would you go and be tested immediatly..would you stop playing in the mean time??

I ask this..as there are those who wont play with those who openly admit to having bareback..even though they would wear condoms if requested??

I personally use condoms, althought i dont for oral (I dont let anyone cum in my mouth cos it makes me gag lol) and yes im aware of the dangers. However for me..nothing is risk free..i simply chose to minmise the risks. Oo and im not bi..so lady bottoms for me either! lol

Im not saying i agree or disagree with either side..i play the way that suits me and handles my concerns and i dont feel the need to justify it to anyone..

..however it did strike me that really its all down to honesty and that no one can be sure either way really....

vol

xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just a quick question here. Why is the bareback such a no go zone for many on here who quite openly admit to doing oral unprotected yet all evidence quite clearly states the most likely way to pass infection is via oral????

You have about as much chance in catching something off someone by them cumming in your mouth than you do by taking a drink from the ame glass as them.

I hope this makes people think a little and i get some honest replies instead of " you do bareback im blocking you" lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"just a quick question here. Why is the bareback such a no go zone for many on here who quite openly admit to doing oral unprotected yet all evidence quite clearly states the most likely way to pass infection is via oral????

You have about as much chance in catching something off someone by them cumming in your mouth than you do by taking a drink from the ame glass as them.

I hope this makes people think a little and i get some honest replies instead of " you do bareback im blocking you" lol"

Again, basically stats can be made to look how you choose them to look.

Facts are, unprotected penetrative sex is more risky than unprotected oral sex, the problem we have and the reason oral sex STI's appear higher now is the fact more people have protected penetrative sex and unprotected oral sex, but I state, unprotected penetrative sex is far riskier than unprotected oral sex.

As you say, orally there is as much chance you catching something via drinking from the same cup, so you discredit your own argument right there, however that is also NOT true.

People can and will block for whatever reason they choose, I suspect however you may have received more blocks by your ranting attitude on the other thread than your preference.

I have no idea where you get your stats from, but I beg you to look elsewhere, because they are not true.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Inspired by the “cream pie” thread.

For those that do not play bareback,

Would you play with people who DID do bareback, if they were happy to use a condom when they played with you?

Or, would knowing that they usually play bareback put you off playing with them at all?

NEVER - condoms can break

sorry you lost me here

is that you will never play with those that admit to playing bareback

or that you will never play because condoms can break

or is it that you only play with those who admit to bareback play because condoms can break?

What do all you condom only people do when after 2 or 3 meets your partners say "we normally play bareback after we get to know people"

Just wondering?"

Can't speak for anyone else just ourselves, and for ourselves sex with strangers is all about risk management.

There are no safe methods, there are no guarantees but we can minimise the risk as much as possible.

So far (10 years swinging) I have had 2 condoms break, each time followed by 2 trips to a clinic over and above my regular trips.

(Note: Chameleons regularly have the health clinic staff come and do free checks at the club for anyone who doesn't like going to a clinic)ring them for the next session)

So far we have had no problems, helped I think because we play with people who only play safe, if on the other hand we played with someone who normally does bareback and a condom breaks the risk is going to be much higher.

Your all welcome to your own views on the subject of safety but this is our way of doing things and nobody has to agree with them and nobody is forced to meet us.

As for the question of "how do you know they always play safe", of course you don't, but when you meet people socially first and not play on the first date you do get a feel for thier way of looking at things, it isn't foolproof and you have to rely on honesty but again for us it is all about damage limitation and trying to use a little caution.

When we arrange a meet off Fab we check verifications, we then check the profiles of those that have verified them and thier verifications and if we see anyone in the series that only plays bareback or doesn't have safe sex listed in thier profile we don't meet.

Some might think that this is a lot of research work and a lot of time spent but we don't care, we play when we both feel 100% comfortable and personally I love Sasha and love having sex with her so if it takes me a year to find the right people so be it.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what i never understand is people who are quite happy to give oral without protection but wont have sex with someone who dont use condoms with other people!!! you not shag them with a condom on yet your willing to put someones genital in your mouth without it being covered up!!!

go figure that one, cause i can't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you always believe everything you read, or are told by people here?

So, someone tells you they always play safe....do you believe them?

There is a massive amount of trust and mistrust being displayed here

No, of course not, but that's no reason to not try to take the best precautions available and still play is it?.

You're still relying on what people tell you though aren't you? My point was, who do you believe, and who don't you believe?

It's in all our interests to play safe all of the time, but at the end of the day, we are all taking chances, maybe small ones, but chances nontheless

state the bleeding obvious why not, of course we are still relying on people being honest, but then, those playing bareback are also relying on people being honest when they say they are clean, disease free, etc etc.

But still, we choose to take precautions the best we can, that's all we can really do, and if we take precautions then it's a start.

You have safe sex ticked on your requirements, so I can only assume you too play safely, so either, you do and therefore take your own route of precaution, or you don't and just lie to look that way, if you take your own precautions, then are you asking for tips? or do you have any you would like to share?.

Like going to a take away/restaurant/cafe, there's no guessing who will or wont spit in your food, all we can do is try to get it right. "

Shaga, we are both asking the same question, you're asking it metaphoricaly, I'm asking it straight. We both share the same view. No matter how you read it though, it's all down to who we perceive is telling us porkies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you always believe everything you read, or are told by people here?

So, someone tells you they always play safe....do you believe them?

There is a massive amount of trust and mistrust being displayed here

No, of course not, but that's no reason to not try to take the best precautions available and still play is it?.

You're still relying on what people tell you though aren't you? My point was, who do you believe, and who don't you believe?

It's in all our interests to play safe all of the time, but at the end of the day, we are all taking chances, maybe small ones, but chances nontheless

state the bleeding obvious why not, of course we are still relying on people being honest, but then, those playing bareback are also relying on people being honest when they say they are clean, disease free, etc etc.

But still, we choose to take precautions the best we can, that's all we can really do, and if we take precautions then it's a start.

You have safe sex ticked on your requirements, so I can only assume you too play safely, so either, you do and therefore take your own route of precaution, or you don't and just lie to look that way, if you take your own precautions, then are you asking for tips? or do you have any you would like to share?.

Like going to a take away/restaurant/cafe, there's no guessing who will or wont spit in your food, all we can do is try to get it right.

Shaga, we are both asking the same question, you're asking it metaphoricaly, I'm asking it straight. We both share the same view. No matter how you read it though, it's all down to who we perceive is telling us porkies."

Exactly!!

We can all but try to get it right.

 (thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what i never understand is people who are quite happy to give oral without protection but wont have sex with someone who dont use condoms with other people!!! you not shag them with a condom on yet your willing to put someones genital in your mouth without it being covered up!!!

go figure that one, cause i can't "

I guess that comes down to the fear of getting pregnant, partly.

Also the fact that although STI's are contractable via oral, there is less chance than penetrative, with penetrative, the lady especially is more open to STI's via vaginal penetration due to the vaginal tissue, and anal more so, also the fact that if cum is swallowed and not played with, it is possible that stomach acids will kill off any infection, let me add, this in no way makes oral safe, not at all, stomach acid may kill some infection but not all.

Facts are, STI's/STD's are contractable through anal, oral, and vaginal sex, even with kissing there is a small risk.

I can only assume those willing to give/receive oral unprotected and not vaginal/anal sex, then they are simply compromising and lowering the risk rather than taking risk away.

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By *illwill69uMan
over a year ago

moston


"

(Note: Chameleons regularly have the health clinic staff come and do free checks at the club for anyone who doesn't like going to a clinic)ring them for the next session)

When we arrange a meet off Fab we check verifications, we then check the profiles of those that have verified them and thier verifications and if we see anyone in the series that only plays bareback or doesn't have safe sex listed in thier profile we don't meet.

Some might think that this is a lot of research work and a lot of time spent but we don't care, we play when we both feel 100% comfortable and personally I love Sasha and love having sex with her so if it takes me a year to find the right people so be it."

I never do clubs, they are too anonymous for me, but I do like the fact that your club brings the clinic in and if I ever do decide to try a club from everything I have heard and that 1 statement it will be yours I join! Well done you and your club.

I must say I also find your attitude to checking your partners out refreshing, although not my choice of ways to protect myself, I fully understand and respect your views and the fact that you have a logical and well thought out way of attempting to ensure that you do not “go” with someone like me by proxy default.

My real issue is with those that make wild statements about my preferences and what they will and will not do, but have never given any thought to what is required to actually live by those standards.

This thread has asked a very serious question, and the answer is most would not sleep with me, but I would ask you all would you rather me be honest with you all. Or would you rather support someone who is trying to start a witch hunt in order to score cheap points?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have played with many bare back and many protected and have never caught anything so your theory is obsurd. Much of this bareback is wrong comes from scare mongering at the highest level.

We are open and honest about what we do and when we tell someone our preferences we always say we sometimes play bareback but its not a pre requisite for a meet up.

If people then choose they dont want o tmeet us then so be it its there choice. If we met a couple who said they always partake in watersports with people they meet we would say thanks but no thanks, but we wouldnt block them or publically tell them there choice of activity is wrong and dirty.

I think will has hit the nail on the head, many people dont meet other that bare back some do its a way of life we all have different opinions.

In recent trials conducted in america where the SIV virus was made very similiar to HIV was put onto monkeys durong lab test. they introduced analy which is considered most dangerous sexual activity and orally. it was found that orally the SIV was needed in much maller ammounts to infect.

Its hard to find government guidelines that give conclusive eveidence either way as they are full of probables and no definates.

Its great people ar making informed decisions on there health and looking after themselves and long may it continue.

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By *illwill69uMan
over a year ago

moston

Having been partially responsible for the locking of the previous thread I would ask you all to ignore my last post as I have no wish to be responsible for another intervention by the mods tonight

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We have played with many bare back and many protected and have never caught anything so your theory is obsurd. Much of this bareback is wrong comes from scare mongering at the highest level.

We are open and honest about what we do and when we tell someone our preferences we always say we sometimes play bareback but its not a pre requisite for a meet up.

If people then choose they dont want o tmeet us then so be it its there choice. If we met a couple who said they always partake in watersports with people they meet we would say thanks but no thanks, but we wouldnt block them or publically tell them there choice of activity is wrong and dirty.

I think will has hit the nail on the head, many people dont meet other that bare back some do its a way of life we all have different opinions.

In recent trials conducted in america where the SIV virus was made very similiar to HIV was put onto monkeys durong lab test. they introduced analy which is considered most dangerous sexual activity and orally. it was found that orally the SIV was needed in much maller ammounts to infect.

Its hard to find government guidelines that give conclusive eveidence either way as they are full of probables and no definates.

Its great people ar making informed decisions on there health and looking after themselves and long may it continue.

"

So, you was lucky enough to only have sex with non infected sexual partners, doesn't take away what I posted is fact.

I'm sorry, but you really don't seem to have the foggiest, bleat on that you do, but contradict yourself.

Here's a thought, perhaps the fact that more people are using contraception now, then just maybe, that in itself has cut down infections, if everyone took your attitude then perhaps things would be very different.

The difference between you 'meeting' a couple and you politely turning them down and this being discussed on an open forum is, well, you guessed it, this is being discussed on an open forum, therefore anyone can pass their opinion, in a non aggressive, non insulting way, or at least that's the theory.

Again, where do you get your theories from?.

I get mine from M.A.S.H, they are an organisation that help protect those working in prostitution, I once, for quite a while worked on the doors of a massage parlour where the M.A.S.H Nurse visited quite frequently, I spoke to the nurses on numerous occasions, and not only was I asking questions but so where some of the ladies working there, as we was all in a room together chatting with the nurse.

Now, all of those ladies there (as far as I'm aware) used condoms for penetrative, yet some didn't for oral, so, as you may guess, questions on sexual health were thrashed about with the sexual health nurse quite a lot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i dont get it, just because people play bareback DOES NOT necessarily mean they are a higher risk. whats to say that they play barbeck then get checked after. surely its about how much you trust the person/s your with???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i dont get it, just because people play bareback DOES NOT necessarily mean they are a higher risk. whats to say that they play barbeck then get checked after. surely its about how much you trust the person/s your with???"

Of course it means they are a higher risk, doesn't go to say they have or will get anything, but does step up the risk.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if you get checked then whats the fuss all about?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sorry, yeah they are higher risk does not mean that the recipient has to be.

get checked

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus


"if you get checked then whats the fuss all about?"

Because of the time factor between tests.....

Johnny gets checked on Monday.

He goes swinging on Friday and Saturday

He gets his clear results 2 weeks later.

He swings approximately 10 more times before the next test.

He has gone bareback with all his partners

Erog, he may have had a clear test but he COULD have caught say.. Herpes on the friday and then infected 11 more people before his next check up

See what I'm saying.

Whatever the perceived risk, those that use condoms do so to lessen those risks by their own CHOICE

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We have played with many bare back and many protected and have never caught anything so your theory is obsurd. Much of this bareback is wrong comes from scare mongering at the highest level.

We are open and honest about what we do and when we tell someone our preferences we always say we sometimes play bareback but its not a pre requisite for a meet up.

If people then choose they dont want o tmeet us then so be it its there choice. If we met a couple who said they always partake in watersports with people they meet we would say thanks but no thanks, but we wouldnt block them or publically tell them there choice of activity is wrong and dirty.

I think will has hit the nail on the head, many people dont meet other that bare back some do its a way of life we all have different opinions.

In recent trials conducted in america where the SIV virus was made very similiar to HIV was put onto monkeys durong lab test. they introduced analy which is considered most dangerous sexual activity and orally. it was found that orally the SIV was needed in much maller ammounts to infect.

Its hard to find government guidelines that give conclusive eveidence either way as they are full of probables and no definates.

Its great people ar making informed decisions on there health and looking after themselves and long may it continue.

So, you was lucky enough to only have sex with non infected sexual partners, doesn't take away what I posted is fact.

I'm sorry, but you really don't seem to have the foggiest, bleat on that you do, but contradict yourself.

Here's a thought, perhaps the fact that more people are using contraception now, then just maybe, that in itself has cut down infections, if everyone took your attitude then perhaps things would be very different.

The difference between you 'meeting' a couple and you politely turning them down and this being discussed on an open forum is, well, you guessed it, this is being discussed on an open forum, therefore anyone can pass their opinion, in a non aggressive, non insulting way, or at least that's the theory.

Again, where do you get your theories from?.

I get mine from M.A.S.H, they are an organisation that help protect those working in prostitution, I once, for quite a while worked on the doors of a massage parlour where the M.A.S.H Nurse visited quite frequently, I spoke to the nurses on numerous occasions, and not only was I asking questions but so where some of the ladies working there, as we was all in a room together chatting with the nurse.

Now, all of those ladies there (as far as I'm aware) used condoms for penetrative, yet some didn't for oral, so, as you may guess, questions on sexual health were thrashed about with the sexual health nurse quite a lot."

So now your facts from a nurse working with prostitutes is more reliable than a university pumping god knows how much cash into research??????

You allow what you put on here back up your view.

I allow what i post back mine up.

we cann all find "evidence" to back what we are saying up as correct, its how far you go in believing it. I can go of my own experience, I have had many bareback encounters and get checked regualr and have never had a problem,

You say its coincidence, but then you contradict yourself, by saying i have had sex with un infected people lol so that there then states that having unprotected sex with others who practice bareback doesnt make us a breeding ground for infections.

We can both spin this whatever way suite us but _adchick once again hits it on the head.

Its about personal choice.

Ours is we will play bareback with people if we and they choose to.

Yours is you dont.

Your view maes you no better than me and mine no better than you.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

The wheels on the bus go round and round.....much like this thread

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