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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Can anyone shed any light i am married and open about that as i believe its better to be honest before if meet anyone but this seems to go against me admitting i am married I be grateful of your thoughts on this

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

honesty is important x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes it will go against you as a lot of people wont meet married men! By being honest or not you are still cheating. Sorry to be blunt but I can imagine this thread will be full of similar comments before very long.

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By *ighland_RoseCouple
over a year ago

Brigadoon

This is the thing that gets me, married people saying at least they are honest with their meets about being married. Is it really more important to be honest with a stranger than with the person you are married to and presumably have feelings for?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is the thing that gets me, married people saying at least they are honest with their meets about being married. Is it really more important to be honest with a stranger than with the person you are married to and presumably have feelings for?"

this ^^^^

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the truth alone triumphs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally agree, honest enough to get a shag but not honest with the person they claim love.... Speaks volumes!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

perhaps ur best looking for meets that arent interested in many questions, ones that may like gangbangs etc etc,

but ur open andd honest as said above, to those u want to meet, but not to ur partner.

and the last thing anyone wants to hear is the justification why u play..its all a bit blahblah

I would say the same to a female playing away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Totally agree, honest enough to get a shag but not honest with the person they claim love.... Speaks volumes!!"

+1

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

people preach on here fact....

I dont know you there are two sides to every situation.

but if u are being honest to us cant u give your wife the same decency.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

choose a different profile pic too ffs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On these types of threads everyone usually says you should be honest or they wouldnt get with a married guy. Having said that, on fab, I dont think I have ever been asked if I am married or not so I dont think people are really that bothered about relationship status. Dont tell them unless they ask I say.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

stick to your honesty stance... the i wont touch you crowd have the right to not get involved with you so dont try to chase them or trick them cos it will all end in tears.. there are a few ladies who will meet you so treat them with respect. there are married ladies on here cheating as well . just remember there are more guys than girls so it comes down to numbers so be patient . be nice and have fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Strange, I know and have known a number of married women on here and other sites, and they never get a bad press...

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By *uncpl2015Couple
over a year ago

Bridgend Area

Everyone who is cheating on a supposed loved one should all get same response be it male or female. However you have to remember females (sorry to say this but) probably and do seem to have more of a moral issue with this than men. Men seem to get off on meeting married women who are cheating, seems to give their egos a boost. Where as most or alot of women will always feel for a cheated wife and not want the shit that can often end up coming with those situations.

So yes you are honest on here so that would at least put you higher up the the married cheating section, but still going behind your wifes back. so being honest with swingers on the net but far from honest with the one you married that just feels very wrong. Now that is how we feel and know its easy to say as we are in a brilliant relationship can talk about everything and have a very full sex life.

you need to only concentrate on ones that will and not try to trick or grill people who wont because they strongly disagree with what you are doing.

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By *eareenaCouple
over a year ago

Rockford

Its so easy to sit here with righteous morality and broad sweeping judgements. I was in my own sexless marriage and I dont judge anyone on their choices but you must face the reality that some women will choose not yo be with married men. Just a fact and it will limit your chances but if you lie... your rep is gone and your chances even more greatly reduced

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It will go against you you just have to accept that. As will you saying that you want to stay married but are looking for fun and excitement that's hugely disrespectful to your wife I would think that if you're willing to say that.about her what would you say about me.

People will meet you though and although I haven't read them you do have verifications. I also agree change your avatar, that alone would put me off.

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By *otwife CoolhubCouple
over a year ago

Bathgate


"This is the thing that gets me, married people saying at least they are honest with their meets about being married. Is it really more important to be honest with a stranger than with the person you are married to and presumably have feelings for?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"choose a different profile pic too ffs "

Agree lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is the thing that gets me, married people saying at least they are honest with their meets about being married. Is it really more important to be honest with a stranger than with the person you are married to and presumably have feelings for?"

Exactly

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By *lle adie 2Woman
over a year ago

newcastle upon tyne

I find that many who say they wont meet 'married' actually do, also I also find the married ones play more than the single. Maybe its because they're considered completely NSA...

But im not here to preach - each to their own

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can anyone shed any light i am married and open about that as i believe its better to be honest before if meet anyone but this seems to go against me admitting i am married I be grateful of your thoughts on this "

the reason it goes against you is that your on a swinging site, and regardless whether you tell people or not, what you are doing is cheating not swinging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well said

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford


"Strange, I know and have known a number of married women on here and other sites, and they never get a bad press..."

Strange one that, innit?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Totally agree, honest enough to get a shag but not honest with the person they claim love.... Speaks volumes!!"

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire


"choose a different profile pic too ffs

Agree lol xx"

ditto..

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By *randmrsminxyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"Can anyone shed any light i am married and open about that as i believe its better to be honest before if meet anyone but this seems to go against me admitting i am married I be grateful of your thoughts on this "

Let me ask this . if you found you missus on here what would you say , isn't it more fun if you both like the adult lifestyle

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

What's wrong with the profile pic?

Don't you like men with big swords?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find that many who say they wont meet 'married' actually do, also I also find the married ones play more than the single. Maybe its because they're considered completely NSA...

But im not here to preach - each to their own "

There are just as many married ladies on here cheating as well as men and all the folk I have met dont mind it.. But if I did not get any meets becouse am married It won't borther me as I like the social side of swinging and I was on here long befor I got married.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire


"Strange, I know and have known a number of married women on here and other sites, and they never get a bad press...

Strange one that, innit? "

firstly, cant comment what goes on on 'other sites'..

however think you will both find that in general there is a consistency amongst those who disapprove of such behaviour, be they male or female who are playing away..

some of those who don't give 'bad press', will be 'single guys' who lets be honest a proportion of whom would most likely fuck the crack of dawn if it had hairs on it..

the sycophantic outpourings by some men in the hope of dipping their wick is in stark contrast to how a female is viewed on certain subjects on here..

maybe it was ever thus..

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire


"What's wrong with the profile pic?

Don't you like men with big swords? "

looks like something either off crime watch or a poster for some kung fu film where the budget was a fiver..

disclaimer, not insinuating the OP has ever been a bad person..

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By *ethany10Couple
over a year ago

falkirk

Seems to be the women on here that mostly get all moral about it. Most men don't care, far as I am concerned it is their problem. I think it is a real turn on fucking someone when their partner doesn't know. Just my opinion.

Steve

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im sure there are a few married women on here, there just not honest about it. But being married myself, I'd rather meet married men, a lot hassle xx

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

There are probably many and varied reasons why marrieds of both genders are here - its entirely good if you aren't 'ok' with cheating, but to make assumptions about 'discussing things with the person they love' and that 'its much more fun to swing with your partner' make far too many assumptions about other peoples lives.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is the thing that gets me, married people saying at least they are honest with their meets about being married. Is it really more important to be honest with a stranger than with the person you are married to and presumably have feelings for?"
im with you on this one...well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im married, have been criticised for it, but I expected nothing less, its fine I know its wrong and cheating but we all have our reasons don't we?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a married male, we did try to arrange meets on our own, but as soon as I said married. 99% ran for the hill. But all the guys where eager to meet the wife.

We were always open with each other, and the people we mailed. We understand why they said no.

But just for a moment, how many people might of said yes if I had not told them. I would never do that we tell people the truth. As this lifestyle is about honesty. People will find out sooner or later.

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By *ummy mummyWoman
over a year ago

southampton-ish


"Strange, I know and have known a number of married women on here and other sites, and they never get a bad press...

Strange one that, innit? "

Not true at all...I feel exactly the same about cheating men as I do cheating women

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find that many who say they wont meet 'married' actually do, also I also find the married ones play more than the single. Maybe its because they're considered completely NSA...

But im not here to preach - each to their own

There are just as many married ladies on here cheating as well as men and all the folk I have met dont mind it.. But if I did not get any meets becouse am married It won't borther me as I like the social side of swinging and I was on here long befor I got married."

where people are cheating it cant ever be nsa, as there are always strings there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you should let your partner know you are on here and accept the consequences. What if you get something horrible and pass it on to them. There are risks you know. They deserve the right to know. After all they are Human beings too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Strange, I know and have known a number of married women on here and other sites, and they never get a bad press...

Strange one that, innit?

Not true at all...I feel exactly the same about cheating men as I do cheating women"

Definately. But I think the tolerance towards women is lower on this subject because a lot of men's standards are lower. A shags a shag type of attitude.

OP if you're going to stay on here be honest as you are, so people can decide themselves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can anyone shed any light i am married and open about that as i believe its better to be honest before if meet anyone but this seems to go against me admitting i am married I be grateful of your thoughts on this

the reason it goes against you is that your on a swinging site, and regardless whether you tell people or not, what you are doing is cheating not swinging."

Never get this kind of statement as I don't see how someone who is attached isn't a swinger ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because there not swinging there cheating, theres a big difference.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"Can anyone shed any light i am married and open about that as i believe its better to be honest before if meet anyone but this seems to go against me admitting i am married I be grateful of your thoughts on this "

honest the whom... the person you

are trying to get your legover with... or the person who you promised to love more than any other...

that isn't true honesty.. that is about being "honest enough"........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Im married, have been criticised for it, but I expected nothing less, its fine I know its wrong and cheating but we all have our reasons don't we?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

no , there never a good reason for cheating. my partner and i are into swinging , and we are honest with each other. why be married and cheat. we swing together and also alone. but we are open with each other.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire


"Im married, have been criticised for it, but I expected nothing less, its fine I know its wrong and cheating but we all have our reasons don't we?"

yes we are all pretty much capable of making certain decisions etc..

with those decisions there are also possible consequences etc, if they have been weighed up and the person is happy with them then that's their choice..

and your right on the 'reasons' also, other folk do other things cos they have reasons also..

some good and some bad..

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

If you are msrried but playing without her knowledge then that is not honest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Im married, have been criticised for it, but I expected nothing less, its fine I know its wrong and cheating but we all have our reasons don't we?"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"This is the thing that gets me, married people saying at least they are honest with their meets about being married. Is it really more important to be honest with a stranger than with the person you are married to and presumably have feelings for?"

Pretty much sums up my view!

I won't invite anyone into my home who can't invite me into theirs, pretty much stops married men bothering me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This site should be the most open minded,least judgemental places to meet people....how wrong was I!!

Its your choice,your marriage,your conscience,your business.x

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"Strange, I know and have known a number of married women on here and other sites, and they never get a bad press..."

Could it be women just get on with their duplicity whilst men bitch and moan about not getting meets and display a sense of entitlement?!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Each to their own....

We happily meet marrieds.

Their home life Is their business same as anyone else.

We're there for the sex as a couple .. TOGETHER.

We're upfront with each other and the third party's business or relationship is none of our concern.

Lou x

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"This site should be the most open minded,least judgemental places to meet people....how wrong was I!!

Its your choice,your marriage,your conscience,your business.x"

It would be if he got on with it instead of posting threads on an open forum inviting people to comment. Or have I misunderstood how forums work?!!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Interesting reading couples stating how they do everything together, how they trust each other, but find it exciting sleeping with married people behind the other persons partners back.

I'll await the "I'm no longer a couple as caught other half cheating" thread!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing to do with you being married as I don't care.... but can I ask where you got your user name from?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Strange, I know and have known a number of married women on here and other sites, and they never get a bad press..."

Yeah, funny that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Interesting reading couples stating how they do everything together, how they trust each other, but find it exciting sleeping with married people behind the other persons partners back.

I'll await the "I'm no longer a couple as caught other half cheating" thread! "

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By *umstickMan
over a year ago

bilton grange

If a woman had put this thread up would we have had all these negative comments or would it have been go for it girl?

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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago

Nr Chester

We won't meet either sex if they are.

So no not everyone is hypocritical.

Nor do we meet fb's that have partners.

So imagine how much this decreases our target for meets, as well as the fact I (male) enjoy bi fun which of course is disgusting for some. Still honesty all the way here. Unlike many.

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto


"Can anyone shed any light i am married and open about that as i believe its better to be honest before if meet anyone but this seems to go against me admitting i am married I be grateful of your thoughts on this "

Talk to your wife.

/thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This site should be the most open minded,least judgemental places to meet people....how wrong was I!!

Its your choice,your marriage,your conscience,your business.x"

its not though is it, if they lie and cheat without your knowledge, then you get a scorned spouse at your door, they have made it your business, and what would your conscience feel like if you were face to face with said scorned spouse and you knew they were cheating but went along and played anyway, these are the reasons swinging and cheating are 2 very different things and have no place within each other.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am also married and love meeting married men. Just bc we cheat doesnt mean we dont love our other halfs. In my case he loves sex just doesnt do it for me. So keep looking you will find that perfect person in your area.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire


"I am also married and love meeting married men. Just bc we cheat doesnt mean we dont love our other halfs. In my case he loves sex just doesnt do it for me. So keep looking you will find that perfect person in your area."

why not communicate with him how others 'do it for you' assuming they do of course..

then maybe he may become that perfect person for you on all counts..

just a thought..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd love to say each to their own, but people get hurt when cheating happens x either way - man or woman.

I received a message a while ago from a married man who said his sex life at home was none existent and 'what's a guy to do?'

Sooo tempted to say - " speak to your wife!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This site should be the most open minded,least judgemental places to meet people....how wrong was I!!

Its your choice,your marriage,your conscience,your business.x

its not though is it, if they lie and cheat without your knowledge, then you get a scorned spouse at your door, they have made it your business, and what would your conscience feel like if you were face to face with said scorned spouse and you knew they were cheating but went along and played anyway, these are the reasons swinging and cheating are 2 very different things and have no place within each other."

that's a pretty big if!I personally wouldn't concern myself with what may or may not happen as life is too short. I would rather be told the truth and make my own informed decision.

There is always the risk of having to pay a consequence,but if I'm adult enough to live this lifestyle,I am also adult enough to take responsibility for any risk taken.

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By *az1312Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere near Coventry


"Totally agree, honest enough to get a shag but not honest with the person they claim love.... Speaks volumes!!

+1"

+2

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This site should be the most open minded,least judgemental places to meet people....how wrong was I!!

Its your choice,your marriage,your conscience,your business.x

its not though is it, if they lie and cheat without your knowledge, then you get a scorned spouse at your door, they have made it your business, and what would your conscience feel like if you were face to face with said scorned spouse and you knew they were cheating but went along and played anyway, these are the reasons swinging and cheating are 2 very different things and have no place within each other.

that's a pretty big if!I personally wouldn't concern myself with what may or may not happen as life is too short. I would rather be told the truth and make my own informed decision.

There is always the risk of having to pay a consequence,but if I'm adult enough to live this lifestyle,I am also adult enough to take responsibility for any risk taken.

"

it is not a big if, its the cold hard truth of what happens, and this lifestyle is about nsa, openess, honesty, sharing and living out fantasies and most of all stress free fun, whether a person is telling you they are cheating or hiding the fact they are cheating, it is none of the above.

There is no place in the swinging lifestyle for cheating.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Im married, have been criticised for it, but I expected nothing less, its fine I know its wrong and cheating but we all have our reasons don't we?"
totally agree

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This site should be the most open minded,least judgemental places to meet people....how wrong was I!!

Its your choice,your marriage,your conscience,your business.x

its not though is it, if they lie and cheat without your knowledge, then you get a scorned spouse at your door, they have made it your business, and what would your conscience feel like if you were face to face with said scorned spouse and you knew they were cheating but went along and played anyway, these are the reasons swinging and cheating are 2 very different things and have no place within each other.

that's a pretty big if!I personally wouldn't concern myself with what may or may not happen as life is too short. I would rather be told the truth and make my own informed decision.

There is always the risk of having to pay a consequence,but if I'm adult enough to live this lifestyle,I am also adult enough to take responsibility for any risk taken.

it is not a big if, its the cold hard truth of what happens, and this lifestyle is about nsa, openess, honesty, sharing and living out fantasies and most of all stress free fun, whether a person is telling you they are cheating or hiding the fact they are cheating, it is none of the above.

There is no place in the swinging lifestyle for cheating."

But it still happens every minute of every day!

I guess the world would be a very dull place if we all shared the same opinions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its so easy to sit here with righteous morality and broad sweeping judgements. I was in my own sexless marriage and I dont judge anyone on their choices but you must face the reality that some women will choose not yo be with married men. Just a fact and it will limit your chances but if you lie... your rep is gone and your chances even more greatly reduced "
Me too re sexless marriage and no married men. As I keep saying too im married

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Totally agree, honest enough to get a shag but not honest with the person they claim love.... Speaks volumes!!"
Love?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Strange, I know and have known a number of married women on here and other sites, and they never get a bad press..."
I have been told before its wrong that im cheating and I have replied in agreement, but Im entitled to some fun I think? Incidentally, have been cancelled on by both single and married men.

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By *bro07Man
over a year ago

Teesside

Some men and women look for sex on side because they get none at home.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some men and women look for sex on side because they get none at home. "
Exactly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What puts us off married men is not the thought that they're cheating ( everyone's personal circumstances are different and who are we to judge ) but the thought that the disgruntled wife might turn up at our house or arrange a meet in the mans name if they ever found out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i must of missed the bit where the OP said he hasn't told his wife. Every one has jumped to the conclusion he is doing this behind his wife's back but she may be well aware he is doing this. He has asked a question i have thought about as well. I am married and state it on my profile, my wife knows and swings on this site too. People see married and don't read any more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm one of the species but always upfront with anyone I meet. I respect that it might not sit well with some people and keen to ensure they know my situation. Hasn't stopped me meeting some lovely ladies - often in the same situation as me. There's a fine difference imho between being judged without knowing the reason(s) and it not sitting well with your own values and beliefs.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I'm one of the species but always upfront with anyone I meet. I respect that it might not sit well with some people and keen to ensure they know my situation. Hasn't stopped me meeting some lovely ladies - often in the same situation as me. There's a fine difference imho between being judged without knowing the reason(s) and it not sitting well with your own values and beliefs."

Yep!

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I ask. I prefer to know and make my choice if I am meeting one to one. I don't ask at clubs and so probably do end up having sex with married men.

I know and have become friends with women on here who are also cheating. Men and women will get the questions and analysis but not judgments from me.

I know married men who are on here with the full knowledge and consent of their wives.

I have met some married men socially and not played with them. Just as I communicate with some through private messages on here or on the forum. The reality is that any cheated on other half is likely to find the communication through messages, on the forum and purely social meets to be just as unacceptable as any sexual meet. Many will feel more threatened by that than their husband picking someone up in a bar and having sex with them.

Cheating doesn't sit easy with me but I won't be a hypocrite and condemn the cheaters as I communicate with those I know to be married on the forum. So do many of you.

My one concern is that I am not doing anything that I can't defend from my own moral standpoint. I also know that many wives will blame the woman and not their cheating husband in these circumstances and I don't want or need that in my life.

He who is without sin etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I ask. I prefer to know and make my choice if I am meeting one to one. I don't ask at clubs and so probably do end up having sex with married men.

I know and have become friends with women on here who are also cheating. Men and women will get the questions and analysis but not judgments from me.

I know married men who are on here with the full knowledge and consent of their wives.

I have met some married men socially and not played with them. Just as I communicate with some through private messages on here or on the forum. The reality is that any cheated on other half is likely to find the communication through messages, on the forum and purely social meets to be just as unacceptable as any sexual meet. Many will feel more threatened by that than their husband picking someone up in a bar and having sex with them.

Cheating doesn't sit easy with me but I won't be a hypocrite and condemn the cheaters as I communicate with those I know to be married on the forum. So do many of you.

My one concern is that I am not doing anything that I can't defend from my own moral standpoint. I also know that many wives will blame the woman and not their cheating husband in these circumstances and I don't want or need that in my life.

He who is without sin etc."

Perfectly put

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"people preach on here fact....

I dont know you there are two sides to every situation.

but if u are being honest to us cant u give your wife the same decency.

"
That can be said of married women also, or even those who are attached, I don't think anyone has the right o sit on the hollier than thou throne here. Its a matter of preference whether people choose to meet attached swingers, that is all.

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By *otswoldMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham


"Its so easy to sit here with righteous morality and broad sweeping judgements.... "

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I agree that no one should cast the first stone but lots of married men actually, as in this case ask for opinion or reasons why they aren't getting meets and people are telling them. It's fairly unusual to see a thread started by someone judging married guys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is the thing that gets me, married people saying at least they are honest with their meets about being married. Is it really more important to be honest with a stranger than with the person you are married to and presumably have feelings for?"
.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can anyone shed any light i am married and open about that as i believe its better to be honest before if meet anyone but this seems to go against me admitting i am married I be grateful of your thoughts on this "

being honest about being married does not make it ok in lots of peoples eyes

married men are like any other group on here, some people don't like black guys, some don't like big women, some don't like married men

I don't mean to be harsh but get over it and move onto someone who does want to meet you like the rest of the site

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Wow now I didn’t expect so many responses or such a varied response made interesting reading we all have our reasons for been on hear I choose not to attack people for their preferences or why they are on here

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By *erendipity99Woman
over a year ago

Runcorn


"Can anyone shed any light i am married and open about that as i believe its better to be honest before if meet anyone but this seems to go against me admitting i am married I be grateful of your thoughts on this "

I would never meet a cheating married man. At least you are being honest about it and giving people the choice.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Wow now I didn’t expect so many responses or such a varied response made interesting reading we all have our reasons for been on hear I choose not to attack people for their preferences or why they are on here "

Not everyone attacked you and being on here while married isn't a preference it's a conscious deduction. You prefer bitter to lager but you choose to join a swinging site it's not something you have no control over.

Personally I don't care what you do and I'm glad you're honest with us at least so we may make our choices too but to express what you're doing as a preference is yet again disrespectful to your partner.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Decision

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no problem with married men as long as they have told me. They are adults and only they can be responsible for their own lives. If it's what people do, who are we to judge?

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By *eareenaCouple
over a year ago

Rockford


"This site should be the most open minded,least judgemental places to meet people....how wrong was I!!

Its your choice,your marriage,your conscience,your business.x"

this...some of the harsh judgement dished out here makes me cringe. People usually have reasons... the righteous morality on a swinging site seems out of place to me.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I agree that we shouldn't judge I'm certainly not whiter than white but in the course of discussion about a subject that was originally brought up by a married man I feel I have right to express opinion. If that is seen as judging by some so be it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i like married men and i think your pictures ok at least its nice and clear so people can see what you look like.

there are married men who meet people so it doesnt bother everyone, if you think it afects your chances of meeting people too much then just lie and say your not married. what difference does it make as your not looking for a relationship only sex.

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By *umstickMan
over a year ago

bilton grange

All you need to do is put I do not meet married men/women on your profile SIMPLES

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Loving the profile pic OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"All you need to do is put I do not meet married men/women on your profile SIMPLES"

Yeah ... like people read profiles!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"All you need to do is put I do not meet married men/women on your profile SIMPLES"

if only it were SIMPLES lol

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"All you need to do is put I do not meet married men/women on your profile SIMPLES"

I have that and get "it's NSA what does it matter?" I don't contact people who don't want to meet me but some have a sense of entitlement: usually the types that start these types of threads!

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus


"All you need to do is put I do not meet married men/women on your profile SIMPLES"

Oh like the guy that bypassed that, did everything right for a single and then when he turned up, i noticed a ring line on his wedding ring finger. Very faint but it was there..

Asked him out right if he was married.....yes...

Did his wife know and could i call her to check this was ok? .......no

He got kicked out....

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By *inky BunnyMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"Strange, I know and have known a number of married women on here and other sites, and they never get a bad press..."

I unserstand married men trapped in hurtful toxic marriages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Strange, I know and have known a number of married women on here and other sites, and they never get a bad press...

I unserstand married men trapped in hurtful toxic marriages"

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Strange, I know and have known a number of married women on here and other sites, and they never get a bad press...

I unserstand married men trapped in hurtful toxic marriages"

I understand anyone trapped in a toxic hurtful marriage, the problem we have is that we have no way of telling that man from the one who is fed up because he is bored of sex with his wife and can't be bothered to make the effort to improve things. To avoid making value judgements we prefer to stay away all together.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel it's their business not mine whether my lover's married or not. To paraphrase Sex Lies and Videotape, I wasn't the one getting up in front of God etc and pledging fidelity. But guys who don't have an arrangement with their wives and are playing away are often getting a big kick out of having a secret life while at the same time having a sneaky dig at the missus. There's a lot of such guys, and it makes you wonder why they got married in the first place. I went to a meet recently in the afternoon and the place was packed, but thinned out really abruptly about 4.30. I doubt if they were rushing home for the six o'clock news.

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By *uited staffs guyMan
over a year ago

staffordshire

It could've been deal or no deal?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is the thing that gets me, married people saying at least they are honest with their meets about being married. Is it really more important to be honest with a stranger than with the person you are married to and presumably have feelings for?"

well said... serious guilt trip also lol

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"I feel it's their business not mine whether my lover's married or not. To paraphrase Sex Lies and Videotape, I wasn't the one getting up in front of God etc and pledging fidelity. But guys who don't have an arrangement with their wives and are playing away are often getting a big kick out of having a secret life while at the same time having a sneaky dig at the missus.

There's a lot of such guys, and it makes you wonder why they got married in the first place. I went to a meet recently in the afternoon and the place was packed, but thinned out really abruptly about 4.30. I doubt if they were rushing home for the

six o'clock news. "

Maybe future meets might not be to your taste then, if that's how you feel about the participants.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't disagree with a lot of these posts.

It is easier to spot a married man, I've read all about them on here. Some are honest about being married, some aren't.

I do understand why people would choose not to meet a married person who is playing away. This is usually the reason people put "Don't play with married people".

However, why then does it still become a problem if that married "Man" has permission from their partner?

If a married "lady" had permission and a couple were looking for a BI lady then I'm guessing that they would invite them round without question.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

its the double standard thing and also supply and demand I'm afraid (putting it crudely lol)the male to female ratio being so high.

There are so many pitfalls that as I said, we find it easier to stay away all together

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I appreciate married people being honest as you give the potential meet the option to involve themselves or not. But you have to accept that your meets will be limited. Now i may be wrong but i feel the only real intent behind this type of honesty is to say "there is no chance for relationship beyond sex and communication will only be on my time". And yes i understand that not everybody is looking for relationship but i feel married people put it out there just in case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This site should be the most open minded,least judgemental places to meet people....how wrong was I!!

Its your choice,your marriage,your conscience,your business.x

this...some of the harsh judgement dished out here makes me cringe. People usually have reasons... the righteous morality on a swinging site seems out of place to me. "

What judgement is there?

A cheater does so for selfish reasons.. That's fact not judging.

As for morals.. What other circumstance would someone be on here that would cause hurt and upset to someone else?

Just cos people are swingers then they aren't allowed to show compassion to others?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I feel it's their business not mine whether my lover's married or not. To paraphrase Sex Lies and Videotape, I wasn't the one getting up in front of God etc and pledging fidelity. But guys who don't have an arrangement with their wives and are playing away are often getting a big kick out of having a secret life while at the same time having a sneaky dig at the missus. There's a lot of such guys, and it makes you wonder why they got married in the first place. I went to a meet recently in the afternoon and the place was packed, but thinned out really abruptly about 4.30. I doubt if they were rushing home for the six o'clock news. "

Or maybe they left because the meet was arranged for between 12-5 and shagging for 5 hours was quite adequate for most? what i find odd is that time was spent arranging that enjoyable event with no thanks from a few of the more selfish guys ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Disgusting how some people try to justify cheating as ok by playing the, everyone has reasons, why be judgmental, sexless marriage cards, cheating is wrong and it doesnt make it right by telling people your doing it, this isnt been judgmental this is truth.

Its wrong to steal or graffiti does it make it right if someone admits to doing it, or tells someone there gonna do it before they do it, no would be the answer.

Top and bottom is there are no reasons that can justify cheating, its wrong, and it shouldnt be on a swingers website, tangling other open minded people into your web of lies, cheating has no place in the swinging lifestyle or on a swinging website.

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By *uited staffs guyMan
over a year ago

staffordshire

Saying something is wrong is judgemental not a fact you've totally turned your logic on its head there!

To say you don't agree with some of these guys cheating is fine, I would actually tend to agree, but to claim yours, or anyone's, moral code as fact is simply a false argument

Moral codes are individual, some people hurt lots of people in relationships serially, just because they were faithful at the time doesn't make it right, some people see cheating as acceptable, you may disagree but it's none of our right to claim our morals are worth more than someone else's

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Disgusting how some people try to justify cheating as ok by playing the, everyone has reasons, why be judgmental, sexless marriage cards, cheating is wrong and it doesnt make it right by telling people your doing it, this isnt been judgmental this is truth.

Its wrong to steal or graffiti does it make it right if someone admits to doing it, or tells someone there gonna do it before they do it, no would be the answer.

Top and bottom is there are no reasons that can justify cheating, its wrong, and it shouldnt be on a swingers website, tangling other open minded people into your web of lies, cheating has no place in the swinging lifestyle or on a swinging website."

Lol

Get off the fence and tell us how you really feel!

Some would argue that swinging is also fundamentally wrong. If you don't like it, don't do it.

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford


"

Its wrong to steal or graffiti does it make it right if someone admits to doing it, or tells someone there gonna do it before they do it, no would be the answer.

"

I can think of many circumstances when it is not wrong to steal and as for graffiti....'wrong' is a bit strong to describe that 'annoying in some cases' might be about as far as you could go.

I don't think life is anything like as black and white as you paint it.

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

In a legal sense deception is wrong. If one is legally married then a contract has been entered into. A legal document has been signed and you have declared your fidelity to the world.

If you cheat and your wife/husband discovers it then they have legal grounds for divorce.

And that's without bringing any moral issues into it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/07/13 09:31:15]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reading some replies make me feel being at church. I didn't know we have so many priests on Fab.

Any way OP good luck with the firing squad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yet alas another cheating husband, sorry but you did ask for opinions....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Kinsey report suggested that in the 1950's almost half of men cheated on their wives. So don't get too smug about your perfect relationships as swingers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not smug at all or anything to do with a moral code, cheating when married is an offence called adultery, and if your comitting an offence its wrong, therefore im not been judgmental im stating fact, as i said in my last statement.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not smug at all or anything to do with a moral code, cheating when married is an offence called adultery, and if your comitting an offence its wrong, therefore im not been judgmental im stating fact, as i said in my last statement."

Adultery is a reason for divorce it is not an offence. It carries no criminal action.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is an offence giving reason for divorce, i had a feeling id get nit picked at and shot down for saying what is only right and decent, and what many others think but dont want to say for fear of comments like these, but nothing changes the FACT cheating is wrong and shouldnt be any part of a swinging site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It is an offence giving reason for divorce, i had a feeling id get nit picked at and shot down for saying what is only right and decent, and what many others think but dont want to say for fear of comments like these, but nothing changes the FACT cheating is wrong and shouldnt be any part of a swinging site "

In your opinion.

It's not an offence in the criminal sense and that is not "nitpicking" it's just not. How you live your life is up to you and that's great. I think you'll find that in legal terms swinging is also adultery because the "offence" as you call it is not cheating but having sex with a person you are not married to. In the marriage contact that could be grounds for divorce as well. FACT

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By *andcCouple
over a year ago

London and Cheshire


"

Adultery is a reason for divorce it is not an offence. It carries no criminal action.

"

As adultery is sex between a married person and someone other than their spouse surely ALL swingers (who are married) are committing adultery!

Personally we would prefer open and honest people...but when we meet someone we will generally have no idea if they are married or not,so we tend not to worry about it too much.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/07/13 12:01:08]

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"

Adultery is a reason for divorce it is not an offence. It carries no criminal action.

As adultery is sex between a married person and someone other than their spouse surely ALL swingers (who are married) are committing adultery!

Personally we would prefer open and honest people...but when we meet someone we will generally have no idea if they are married or not,so we tend not to worry about it too much."

Yep! Swinging is adultery. That's a fact, for those wanting to state opinion as fact.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Adultery is a reason for divorce it is not an offence. It carries no criminal action.

As adultery is sex between a married person and someone other than their spouse surely ALL swingers (who are married) are committing adultery!

Personally we would prefer open and honest people...but when we meet someone we will generally have no idea if they are married or not,so we tend not to worry about it too much.

Yep! Swinging is adultery. That's a fact, for those wanting to state opinion as fact."

It's where adultery as a legal concept and cheating as an emotive one diverge from each other

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Adultery is a reason for divorce it is not an offence. It carries no criminal action.

As adultery is sex between a married person and someone other than their spouse surely ALL swingers (who are married) are committing adultery!

Personally we we'd ould prefer open and honest people...but when we meet someone we will generally have no idea if they are married or not,so we tend not to worry about it too much.

Yep! Swinging is adultery. That's a fact, for those wanting to state opinion as fact."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can anyone shed any light i am married and open about that as i believe its better to be honest before if meet anyone but this seems to go against me admitting i am married I be grateful of your thoughts on this "

Eh up! Here comes Daniel walking in2 the lion's den lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you look up other threads on the subject you will find that the topic of swinging within a marriage has been discussed many times, and you can read what people have had to say on it.

The real FACT is if you commit adultery (cheating) you are commiting an offence which is punishable by divorce, and will leave you in a bad place within the divorce settlement, i never once said it was punishable by law, but nevertheless it is still an offence and it is still wrong.

I dont no why you have decided to nit pick at me on this thread, im not committing adultery im not doing anything wrong, if the cheaters werent here it would make it easier for the genuine single people and swinging couples to meet like minded people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you look up other threads on the subject you will find that the topic of swinging within a marriage has been discussed many times, and you can read what people have had to say on it.

The real FACT is if you commit adultery (cheating) you are commiting an offence which is punishable by divorce, and will leave you in a bad place within the divorce settlement, i never once said it was punishable by law, but nevertheless it is still an offence and it is still wrong.

I dont no why you have decided to nit pick at me on this thread, im not committing adultery im not doing anything wrong, if the cheaters werent here it would make it easier for the genuine single people and swinging couples to meet like minded people."

I'm nitpicking because of your very forceful views which you have and you're entitled to., but are using erroneous legal arguments to support. The other technical issue is that adultery has no baring on divorce settlements in the UK. You don't like cheaters so don't meet people who are cheating on their partners and I get that. However to then tell everyone that these people have no place in swinging and shouldn't be allowed is something I find quite irritating and moralistic. You've confused opinion with fact more than once and don't expect to be queried on it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Saying something is wrong is judgemental not a fact you've totally turned your logic on its head there!

To say you don't agree with some of these guys cheating is fine, I would actually tend to agree, but to claim yours, or anyone's, moral code as fact is simply a false argument

Moral codes are individual, some people hurt lots of people in relationships serially, just because they were faithful at the time doesn't make it right, some people see cheating as acceptable, you may disagree but it's none of our right to claim our morals are worth more than someone else's "

^ this is the other reason I was "nitpicking"

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By *uited staffs guyMan
over a year ago

staffordshire

The reason people are commenting is because you are making incorrect legal statements and people aren't prepared to let that go

An 'offence' is a legal term related to a crime, in your eyes clearly cheaters would be in jail but cheating is NOT a crime, it is grounds for a divorce, morally unacceptable maybe, but not a crime

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"If you look up other threads on the subject you will find that the topic of swinging within a marriage has been discussed many times, and you can read what people have had to say on it.

The real FACT is if you commit adultery (cheating) you are commiting an offence which is punishable by divorce, and will leave you in a bad place within the divorce settlement, i never once said it was punishable by law, but nevertheless it is still an offence and it is still wrong.

I dont no why you have decided to nit pick at me on this thread, im not committing adultery im not doing anything wrong, if the cheaters werent here it would make it easier for the genuine single people and swinging couples to meet like minded people."

The nit picking isn't on you but the statement that adultery is an offence punishable by divorce. Swinging would fall into that category too. If one partner changes their mind about swinging or things go wrong later down the track the adultery of swinging, consensual though it might have been, is still adultery if you want to use that as the reason for your divorce.

Cheating is the emotional issue. My first post on this was that I think that many cheated on will find the talking to other people just as, if not more, hurtful than the sex act.

Even a happy swinging partnership marriage finding your partner gets on well emotionally, intellectually, spiritually with someone you meet could feel like cheating in a way the sex does not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dunno why people join these sites then get on their indignation soap box n say other people shouldn't be here

I've seen complaints bout single males being here, married men, bi men n bla bla bla

Does it matter a thrup??

Hook up with what suits you n let other folk do the same! No ones under compulsory order to meet, mail or chat to anyone they don't want to!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have never once claimed adultery is a legal offence, what i have said is that adultery is an offence giving grounds to divorce, therefore making it punishable by divorce, not once did i say by law, so again where that has come from i dont no.

And cheaters will stick with eachother in threads like these trying to justify what they do, your on a swinging site, look up the definition of swinging, you dont fit in with any of it, there a sites for extra marital affairs (cheating) where you will find your like minded people to cheat with.

Yes i have strong views on this and yes i state it has no place in swinging, because it doesnt, a cheat is a cheat whereas a swinger is a swinger they are 2 very different things.

If cheating wasnt wrong why would it carry its own name (adultery) and be punishable by divorce, so thereforeit is not in my opinion but actually fact that cheating is wrong.

Nitpick away at what i say for whatever reason you think of, but the end of the day it wont change the fact that cheating is wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Actually I'm not cheating, I just find your moral high ground irritating. In pure legal terms swinging is also adultery. In fact in every definition of adultery swinging is just that. If you are married then any sexual relationship with someone outside of that marriage is in fact adultery. So, when you've dismounted from your moral high horse remember in the eyes of the law you are also committing adultery.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have never once claimed adultery is a legal offence, what i have said is that adultery is an offence giving grounds to divorce, therefore making it punishable by divorce, not once did i say by law, so again where that has come from i dont no.

And cheaters will stick with eachother in threads like these trying to justify what they do, your on a swinging site, look up the definition of swinging, you dont fit in with any of it, there a sites for extra marital affairs (cheating) where you will find your like minded people to cheat with.

Yes i have strong views on this and yes i state it has no place in swinging, because it doesnt, a cheat is a cheat whereas a swinger is a swinger they are 2 very different things.

If cheating wasnt wrong why would it carry its own name (adultery) and be punishable by divorce, so thereforeit is not in my opinion but actually fact that cheating is wrong.

Nitpick away at what i say for whatever reason you think of, but the end of the day it wont change the fact that cheating is wrong."

Everyone's a critic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have never once claimed adultery is a legal offence, what i have said is that adultery is an offence giving grounds to divorce, therefore making it punishable by divorce, not once did i say by law, so again where that has come from i dont no.

And cheaters will stick with eachother in threads like these trying to justify what they do, your on a swinging site, look up the definition of swinging, you dont fit in with any of it, there a sites for extra marital affairs (cheating) where you will find your like minded people to cheat with.

Yes i have strong views on this and yes i state it has no place in swinging, because it doesnt, a cheat is a cheat whereas a swinger is a swinger they are 2 very different things.

If cheating wasnt wrong why would it carry its own name (adultery) and be punishable by divorce, so thereforeit is not in my opinion but actually fact that cheating is wrong.

Nitpick away at what i say for whatever reason you think of, but the end of the day it wont change the fact that cheating is wrong."

Ive just read through this thread and one thing stands out.

You are one angry person. FACT.

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By *TR8HUNTERMan
over a year ago

midlands

I love married men

so message me hahah

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Actually I'm not cheating, I just find your moral high ground irritating. In pure legal terms swinging is also adultery. In fact in every definition of adultery swinging is just that. If you are married then any sexual relationship with someone outside of that marriage is in fact adultery. So, when you've dismounted from your moral high horse remember in the eyes of the law you are also committing adultery."

yes i would of thought so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Adultery it is !!

And you have only got to meet one person that could turn stalker and your little world will come crashing down BIG time and names could be named etc Ruby

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Adultery it is !!

And you have only got to meet one person that could turn stalker and your little world will come crashing down BIG time and names could be named etc Ruby"

I said this before. Im married and any guy on here I have sex with is cheating and is therefore adultery as Ruby&Ted have said. Im obviously hoping I wont get caught as Im not doing this to cause my husband any pain and take great care to not get found out. Hes a good guy but there is nothing there physically, so like the rest of us, im just looking for some fun in my life sexually. There, Ive stuck my head above the parapet again and will take any comments made on board like a adult but am still hoping for some fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im neither on a moral high horse or angry, why is it always a moral high ground when you state that something that is actually wrong is in fact wrong, i have been in this situation (been cheated on) i have seen the ins and outs of divorce, the comings and goings on many occasion, i have picked people up that were suicidal i have seen the hurt and the pain, lives ruined, so i wont have anyone tell me that cheating is right, and that it can be justified, because it isnt and it cant.

If i get picked apart for this then so be it, and im not going to get into the whole swinging is adultery argument, its been done on here.

But really its just nit picking as you dont like the fact im outspoken against this subject.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Im neither on a moral high horse or angry, why is it always a moral high ground when you state that something that is actually wrong is in fact wrong, i have been in this situation (been cheated on) i have seen the ins and outs of divorce, the comings and goings on many occasion, i have picked people up that were suicidal i have seen the hurt and the pain, lives ruined, so i wont have anyone tell me that cheating is right, and that it can be justified, because it isnt and it cant.

If i get picked apart for this then so be it, and im not going to get into the whole swinging is adultery argument, its been done on here.

But really its just nit picking as you dont like the fact im outspoken against this subject."

I'm sorry you can't have it both ways. If you want to be outspoken then don't expect everyone to agree with you. You are making a moral judgement and that cannot be denied, you don't like it and that's fine but your outspoken statements make you sound astonishingly judgmental and ignoring things you don't agree with, presenting things as facts when they're not actual facts but opinion only make it

Worse. If you don't ever want to have sex with a man who is cheating

I'm going to suggest that you stay monogamous. That is the only way to guarantee it.

Swinging when married is adultery and that I'm afraid is an actual fact not just an opinion. It may not be what we class as cheating but it is having Sex with someone other than your partner outside of marriage. By the way at no point has anyone said that cheating is either right or the best thing to do. However, I don't know what goes on in other people's relationships and neither do you. For all I know you and your husband are both cheating, but I've never met you so I have no idea what goes on in your marriage.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Im neither on a moral high horse or angry, why is it always a moral high ground when you state that something that is actually wrong is in fact wrong, i have been in this situation (been cheated on) i have seen the ins and outs of divorce, the comings and goings on many occasion, i have picked people up that were suicidal i have seen the hurt and the pain, lives ruined, so i wont have anyone tell me that cheating is right, and that it can be justified, because it isnt and it cant.

If i get picked apart for this then so be it, and im not going to get into the whole swinging is adultery argument, its been done on here.

But really its just nit picking as you dont like the fact im outspoken against this subject."

Out of interest how do you make sure no one is married when you go dogging?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I ask. I prefer to know and make my choice if I am meeting one to one. I don't ask at clubs and so probably do end up having sex with married men.

I know and have become friends with women on here who are also cheating. Men and women will get the questions and analysis but not judgments from me.

I know married men who are on here with the full knowledge and consent of their wives.

I have met some married men socially and not played with them. Just as I communicate with some through private messages on here or on the forum. The reality is that any cheated on other half is likely to find the communication through messages, on the forum and purely social meets to be just as unacceptable as any sexual meet. Many will feel more threatened by that than their husband picking someone up in a bar and having sex with them.

Cheating doesn't sit easy with me but I won't be a hypocrite and condemn the cheaters as I communicate with those I know to be married on the forum. So do many of you.

My one concern is that I am not doing anything that I can't defend from my own moral standpoint. I also know that many wives will blame the woman and not their cheating husband in these circumstances and I don't want or need that in my life.

He who is without sin etc."

Put perfectly, Lickety.

I would add a couple of other quotes to your last line..

'They who are without sanctimony, etc' and my Nan's favourite (which I only learned the significance of many years after she died)... 'Circumstances alter cases...' The last one is oh-so true... never judge without knowing the reasons behind someones actions...

ted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I dunno why people join these sites then get on their indignation soap box n say other people shouldn't be here

I've seen complaints bout single males being here, married men, bi men n bla bla bla

Does it matter a thrup??

Hook up with what suits you n let other folk do the same! No ones under compulsory order to meet, mail or chat to anyone they don't want to!! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I ask. I prefer to know and make my choice if I am meeting one to one. I don't ask at clubs and so probably do end up having sex with married men.

I know and have become friends with women on here who are also cheating. Men and women will get the questions and analysis but not judgments from me.

I know married men who are on here with the full knowledge and consent of their wives.

I have met some married men socially and not played with them. Just as I communicate with some through private messages on here or on the forum. The reality is that any cheated on other half is likely to find the communication through messages, on the forum and purely social meets to be just as unacceptable as any sexual meet. Many will feel more threatened by that than their husband picking someone up in a bar and having sex with them.

Cheating doesn't sit easy with me but I won't be a hypocrite and condemn the cheaters as I communicate with those I know to be married on the forum. So do many of you.

My one concern is that I am not doing anything that I can't defend from my own moral standpoint. I also know that many wives will blame the woman and not their cheating husband in these circumstances and I don't want or need that in my life.

He who is without sin etc.

Put perfectly, Lickety.

I would add a couple of other quotes to your last line..

'They who are without sanctimony, etc' and my Nan's favourite (which I only learned the significance of many years after she died)... 'Circumstances alter cases...' The last one is oh-so true... never judge without knowing the reasons behind someones actions...

ted. "

The psychological term for that is Fundamental Attribution Error. Intermingled with we judge others by their behaviour and ourselves by our intentions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Im neither on a moral high horse or angry, why is it always a moral high ground when you state that something that is actually wrong is in fact wrong, i have been in this situation (been cheated on) i have seen the ins and outs of divorce, the comings and goings on many occasion, i have picked people up that were suicidal i have seen the hurt and the pain, lives ruined, so i wont have anyone tell me that cheating is right, and that it can be justified, because it isnt and it cant.

If i get picked apart for this then so be it, and im not going to get into the whole swinging is adultery argument, its been done on here.

But really its just nit picking as you dont like the fact im outspoken against this subject.

Out of interest how do you make sure no one is married when you go dogging? "

Or at a club for that matter Ruby

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with Mackemcouple, that using a swingers site to cheat on a partner is wrong. Cheating of any kind is disrespectful to their partner. I would hope that any married-but-cheating person would have the courtesy to own up to it, so that the rest of us can make an informed decision about whether or not to play.

However, I can imagine situations where a person would want extra-marital sex without getting divorced first (e.g. if they're staying in a sexless marriage in order to bring up children). All I ask is that these people are honest about it, so that we can make informed decisions. (I decide "no", but that's just my decision.)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And it's your decision what you do with your body obviously. I just don't like the preaching to others about how they're wrong and we're right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who is preaching, im simply stating that whether informing you or not it is wrong, and you have decided to pick me apart for it, in every post ive made, swinging is not the place for cheating simple as that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh and you have no right to suggest a mongamous lifestyle for me, we are in this lifestyle as we enjoy no strings, varied sexlives, with the openess and honesty that comes with swinging, we carefully vet who we are going to meet, hence why we dont just meet anyone and a cheat will always slip up somewhere and let there true colours be shown.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Who is preaching, im simply stating that whether informing you or not it is wrong, and you have decided to pick me apart for it, in every post ive made, swinging is not the place for cheating simple as that."

You are preaching

Your posts are astonishingly judgemental and you state opinion as fact and then state you're outspoken. I'm sorry but if you want to be outspoken should we all just agree with your when we don't? I'm also curious how when you're dogging you can be so sure of who is who and whether they're married or not.

You've also stated again an opinion as factual. "Swinging is not the place for cheating simple as that" that is purely your opinion and not an actual fact. Please, if you're going to be outspoken with views not everyone agrees with and then expect us all to agree then forums may not be the right concept for you. Perhaps a blog with no right of reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Who is preaching, im simply stating that whether informing you or not it is wrong, and you have decided to pick me apart for it, in every post ive made, swinging is not the place for cheating simple as that."

Who is to say what is right or wrong on this subject - everybody salves their own conscience according to what makes them comfortable! Everything is just an extension of everything else.

Married monogamous couples would say to swing is wrong but it ain't stopping YOU swinging - nor I imagine do you wish to be the subject of their disgust and indignation ?? We are not au fait with the reasons people are playing away from home.

People choose their own levels and that is ,and rightly should be, their prerogative

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh and you have no right to suggest a mongamous lifestyle for me, we are in this lifestyle as we enjoy no strings, varied sexlives, with the openess and honesty that comes with swinging, we carefully vet who we are going to meet, hence why we dont just meet anyone and a cheat will always slip up somewhere and let there true colours be shown."

And you have no right to tell people they can't swing if they're married as you've said over and over.

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By *ikeyb368Man
over a year ago

Cottingham

Yes but how do you know the guy or for that matter girl is looking for what they are not getting at home. SEX. What is a man or woman to in this situation, take a vow of celibacy. He is been honest and saying he is Married and should be applauded for that, he may or may not love his wife but he could be in the position as I stated above. Before you get on your holier than though high horses ask yourself why you are here, lets face it your own relationships can not be exactly out of this world, if they where why are you here looking to meet up for sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For a start mikeyb people dont swing because there sex lives at home are lacking, swinging is an extension of sex lives that people enjoy, its sharing and living out fantasies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For a start mikeyb people dont swing because there sex lives at home are lacking, swinging is an extension of sex lives that people enjoy, its sharing and living out fantasies."

In your opinion. Some people do it because they want more than they're getting at home. He's too small or too big, she needs to have more interaction he wants to watch. In fact I'd say that in many cases if their sex lives were perfectly fulfilled they'd not need to include others or multiple partners. Swinging allows people to do this and maintain their marriages. Of course this is assuming all people who swing are in a relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People engage in swinging for all sorts of reasons. Everyone who is doing it is doing it for their own reasons and not for reasons imposed on them by someone else

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


" Before you get on your holier than though high horses ask yourself why you are here, lets face it your own relationships can not be exactly out of this world, if they where why are you here looking to meet up for sex."

That might just have blown any chance of you meeting any couple reading this.

You obviously don't understand swinging at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And again torjames, the definition of swinging itself tells you its not a place for cheats so why cant i say it, and i dont expect everyone to agree with me, i no there is plenty of cheats on here that will disagree, and try and justify the selfish acts they commit, with any reason they can think of.

I do have a right to tell an open forum that cheats shouldnt be here, as i stated the definition of swinging tells you they shouldnt be.

Now if you could kindly stop picking arguments with me it would be most appreciated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Before you get on your holier than though high horses ask yourself why you are here, lets face it your own relationships can not be exactly out of this world, if they where why are you here looking to meet up for sex.

That might just have blown any chance of you meeting any couple reading this.

You obviously don't understand swinging at all "

I don't necessarily agree, I'd suggest some people do swing because they're not getting what they want within their marriage so look outside their marriage. They just happen to have a partner who understands and either joins in or let's them get on with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People engage in swinging for all sorts of reasons. Everyone who is doing it is doing it for their own reasons and not for reasons imposed on them by someone else"

and i didnt say this, so why are you trying to pick arguments, i was repeating what has been said in other threads on that subject.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

To the OP...as you can see people have very strong views on married people playing away, I am guessing you may have your answer now

For us, we think it isn't any of our business if someone is playing away or not , it is their conscience they have to live with, but we do choose not to play with men who say they are married and do try and make sure the people we meet are not married.

There are many reasons for this, and not the obvious ones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And again torjames, the definition of swinging itself tells you its not a place for cheats so why cant i say it, and i dont expect everyone to agree with me, i no there is plenty of cheats on here that will disagree, and try and justify the selfish acts they commit, with any reason they can think of.

I do have a right to tell an open forum that cheats shouldnt be here, as i stated the definition of swinging tells you they shouldnt be.

Now if you could kindly stop picking arguments with me it would be most appreciated."

Feel free to stop posting your personal opinions as fact and I'll stop identifying where I don't agree. I'm afraid you keep stating things as factual and then not liking it when it's pointed out its not factual. For example definition of swinging for instance. Who's definition of swinging exactly? You have the right to tell an open forum any old stuff you want but and I'll say it again its an open forum not your soapbox so if I disagree with your rationale, opinions or facts then I too am free to do so!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


" Before you get on your holier than though high horses ask yourself why you are here, lets face it your own relationships can not be exactly out of this world, if they where why are you here looking to meet up for sex.

That might just have blown any chance of you meeting any couple reading this.

You obviously don't understand swinging at all

I don't necessarily agree, I'd suggest some people do swing because they're not getting what they want within their marriage so look outside their marriage. They just happen to have a partner who understands and either joins in or let's them get on with it."

No doubt there are.

From what I have witnessed a lot seem like us....that it as an added extension of their sex life and could drop it tommorrow if one decided they didn't want it anymore.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"

Now if you could kindly stop picking arguments with me it would be most appreciated."

As far as I can see they are joining in the discussion with you and commenting on what you have written.

If you don't want people to do that you may need to stop posting

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

In the strictest of terms couples only swing to get something they couldn't otherwise get because it's not possible to see your wife with another guy or experience multiple partners in a monogamous relationship. Where the difference lies is in if the emotional side of their relationship could last without it, once you look to swinging for any need other than sex you're in trouble.

We all have our reasons for doing what we do but for us honesty is an important factor whatever they are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Before you get on your holier than though high horses ask yourself why you are here, lets face it your own relationships can not be exactly out of this world, if they where why are you here looking to meet up for sex.

That might just have blown any chance of you meeting any couple reading this.

You obviously don't understand swinging at all

I don't necessarily agree, I'd suggest some people do swing because they're not getting what they want within their marriage so look outside their marriage. They just happen to have a partner who understands and either joins in or let's them get on with it.

No doubt there are.

From what I have witnessed a lot seem like us....that it as an added extension of their sex life and could drop it tommorrow if one decided they didn't want it anymore. "

this exactly ^ ^ ^ ^ ^.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People engage in swinging for all sorts of reasons. Everyone who is doing it is doing it for their own reasons and not for reasons imposed on them by someone else

and i didnt say this, so why are you trying to pick arguments, i was repeating what has been said in other threads on that subject."

It was a generic statement and had nothing to do with you. It applies to you though as I can't tell you why you should swing. It's up to you and you alone, in fact the statement applies to all of us and had nothing to do with anything you've said so don't flatter yourself in this instance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Before you get on your holier than though high horses ask yourself why you are here, lets face it your own relationships can not be exactly out of this world, if they where why are you here looking to meet up for sex.

That might just have blown any chance of you meeting any couple reading this.

You obviously don't understand swinging at all

I don't necessarily agree, I'd suggest some people do swing because they're not getting what they want within their marriage so look outside their marriage. They just happen to have a partner who understands and either joins in or let's them get on with it.

No doubt there are.

From what I have witnessed a lot seem like us....that it as an added extension of their sex life and could drop it tommorrow if one decided they didn't want it anymore. "

Absolutely, we all do it for different reasons and it's important that we don't assume we all do it for the same reasons.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Now if you could kindly stop picking arguments with me it would be most appreciated.

As far as I can see they are joining in the discussion with you and commenting on what you have written.

If you don't want people to do that you may need to stop posting "

they have already stated that they dont like im outspoken/judgemental/on a high horse/ or whatever else, and they pick apart anything i say, thats why i said that.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I await the resurrection of the "definition of swinging" threads.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"

No doubt there are.

From what I have witnessed a lot seem like us....that it as an added extension of their sex life and could drop it tommorrow if one decided they didn't want it anymore.

Absolutely, we all do it for different reasons and it's important that we don't assume we all do it for the same reasons."

The point I was making was to a comment that did assume people were swinging because they are lacking in their marriage.

There was no assuming on my part, I was just commenting on the post.

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