FabSwingers.com forum: Are We Doing Something Wrong

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We are completely new to ' the scene' as i noticed its reffered to. I have allways wondered about being with a woman especially in front of my other half John. We are a loving normal couple and i am a little picky wanting slim attractive WOMEN only 20s/30s. i dont want to share John and dont want to rush into it.....I have tried to rooms, put naughty pics on my profile and still no JOY

Are we doing something wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We are completely new to ' the scene' as i noticed its reffered to. I have allways wondered about being with a woman especially in front of my other half John. We are a loving normal couple and i am a little picky wanting slim attractive WOMEN only 20s/30s. i dont want to share John and dont want to rush into it.....I have tried to rooms, put naughty pics on my profile and still no JOY

Are we doing something wrong"

I can't speak for other people but as far as my opinion is my own here goes.... I wouldn't respond to your add it sounds very self centred as if the person you would invite over is simply something to be used for your husbands enjoyment. Perhaps other women don't love him as much as you do and are not so desparate to 'perform' for him with someone who is only doing it for him ..... who knows.. and your age and perfection limitations cut off a lot of bi females here. I'd be vary wary of swinging with a woman who outwardly states she doesn't want to share ??? That just doesn't marry with swinging ... smells like a domestic would manifest to me ... Over to everyone else. ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My 2p, and I am straight single fem.

You are looking for a very specific kind of person to play with, as in a bi fem that won't be allowed to play with your husband, except to allow him to watch the two of you play.

Bi fems are probably the highest in the swinging demand pecking order, and they can pick and choose whom they play with as they please.

If I were a bi fem, I would probably want to play with both partners of a MF couple as a three-some to get the most fun out of it.

Hence you would not be too attractive to me, sorry!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you are verified so I assume by phone or cam or social if you are looking for your first sexual meet.

your pics are great.

Your profile needs to sell what the other person is going to get from the meet and that needs to be equal to yours.

and to be fair, finding the right person for your first time is right, whether that is 6 days , 6 weeks, 6 months or longer......

good luck and dont rush.....

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Single bi-fems are like gold dust, and they can pick and choose who they play with. Persistance will pay off though - but don't expect them to come to you, go out and find some likely looking gals, and contact them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where's your socks ?

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

Mmmmmm we did look at your profile after you looked at ours and thought as someone as already said that it could all end in a domestic and that could well be after god knows how long talking about it.

IMHO anyone meeting with you guys will come away with nothing and maybe even feeling used into the deal.

Steve

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when i read your profile i thought "here we go again" another woman trying to please hubby(just my opinion)...

when i was a single lady on here i was in demand from couples like yourself but only met two as so many couples can be so demanding, rules and boundaries for them, what about me, just felt like i was going to be used and that doesnt sound like fun...

we were the same as you wanting slim fems but after going to a few socials/clubs we realised its not just what a person looks like and we have met all different kinds of people and enjoyed meeting them...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I can't see the benefit of meeting you. If I were a bi female I'd expect to play with both of you, not be the warm up act to spice up your playtime.

In my opinion being on a swinging site and make the statement you don't want to share your husband makes no sense to me whatsoever. Perhaps the happily married couples who do share will expand more on that.

Good luck though, you may be lucky and find what you want.

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By *imnher2Woman
over a year ago

watford

[Removed by poster at 17/01/10 18:34:20]

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By *imnher2Woman
over a year ago

watford

wow. a couple on a swinging site looking for a single bi fem to play with.. then state she dont want 2 share hubby lol..

to us that would be more like 2 bi fems putting on a show 4 a guy.. not a 3some

good luck with your search i think u are going 2 need it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sasha looked at your profile a while ago as we are both happy to play alone but she thought the same as others who have commented on here, single fem to be used for husbands entertainment by people who aren't swingers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your profile makes it look like you just want a toy to play with, a little something for your entertainment ...

Its all about You You You. We'd give you a wide berth - sorry, but that's how we see it

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"Your profile makes it look like you just want a toy to play with, a little something for your entertainment ...

Its all about You You You. We'd give you a wide berth - sorry, but that's how we see it"

It's your type of demands and rules that make swinging a nightmare for the single bi female...... and I was one until 2 years ago.

You want a performing seal. Not another women who has emotions.

Whats she gonna do when you've finished with her and YOU are playing with YOUR hubby.......... sit and contemplate her navel?

If you are willing to share your body with another, then allow your hubby to share his........ or maybe you just want to please him and sod anyone else.

To me, and I've been swinging 10 years, you are not swingers, you are just after what YOU want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it was me that suggested you try coming on the forums to get in touch with other people that arent always on chat and can have the leisure of time to give more thought to your profile

i hope your not offended by the comments on here but having read all of them i think you can find something from them that is food for thought

take yur time and think through your approach a bit more and the very best of luck xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi there, I am a bi female and have played with couples without having penetrative sex with the male, that was reserved for his partner and I knew that before we played.

I still had fun and didn't feel used in any way... it's not always about being shagged senseless, sometimes it's the first step to them finding their swinging feet.

Very often the rematch months later is completely different once they have established themselves and are more sure of how far they wish to go.

I also know of couples who take it turn about, sometimes a ffm for him then a mmf for her.

Perhaps rewording your profile so you come across as more approachable may help.

Good luck and may you have years of happy swinging xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You might be better going to the clubs to find what your looking for you can play as john watches plus you can dress up and feel amazing and take it to a private room. Chameleons has a bi night every Monday. Take in the atmosphere have a jacuzzi and enjoy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont see what the problem is to be honest, theres probably a few bi fems out there that dont want contact with the male half and are only to happy to play with the lady.

perhaps the wording maybe, because its certainly no different from 2 straight males only playing with the female.

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

Are we doing something wrong"

I may be wrong and if I am I apologise in advance. It sounds like maybe this swinging idea was not your idea. I think you will find it will be difficult for you to get a meet. I for one would never meet a couple if I felt one half of the couple was being coerced or pushed into it. I also would not meet if there was a hint of jealousy involved. You have stated you could not handle seeing your partner with somebody else. So if you are not being coerced into this then it seems a bit unfair that you can have fun but he can't. I do not mean to offend you with this post. I just think you need to have a good think about whether swinging is something you really want to do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with what others have said.

I'm genuinely bi, by which I mean I love sex with women but by the very nature of being bi,I also love sex with men.

You seem to have too many stipulations, which make it all sound one sided.

It also sounds like you don't feel too secure in your relationship which is a must in swinging.

I suggest you have a rethink about what YOU really want.

Good Luck.T.

XXX

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

"I agree with what others have said.

I'm genuinely bi, by which I mean I love sex with women but by the very nature of being bi,I also love sex with men.

You seem to have too many stipulations, which make it all sound one sided.

It also sounds like you don't feel too secure in your relationship which is a must in swinging.

I suggest you have a rethink about what YOU really want.

Good Luck.T.

XXX

Totally agree - you may need to re assess what you both want - but we wish you both all the best Z

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are we doing something wrong"

You are doing absolutely nothing wrong, you profile is clear and concise and it sets out exactly what you are trying to achieve, however not to sure how much fruit your approach is going to have.

You have had one single fem agreeing with your thoughts so perhaps it's not all bad news. If it's what you want on the terms you have stated then do not waver as to so only compromises your position.

Best of luck.

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By *elleCouple
over a year ago

south-west corner of outer london

I'm a bi fem and would not consider meeting someone who was so against sharing her man. If single, I would expect a 3sum and as a couple, I don't play without my man too.

This is a swingers site and you don't seem up for swinging! Maybe try a club and see if you can find a bifem who would warm up with you, then move onto someone a bit more fulfilling!!(still don't hold your breath- we bifems are a picky lot because we can be! and lesbians would probably not be into being some straight guy's titillation)

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Because it would be your first time and because of the nature of your request there are some possible concerns ladies may have (as well as any already mentioned in this thread… sorry only skim read the other posts):

- She’s only curious… what if she realises it’s not for her on her first time with me?

- Will I be just the fluffer or will she be interested in my enjoyment?

- Will I end-up being teacher and giving lessons?

- Do I have to just leave if they get excited and she/he wants to fuck?

- What happens if he gets over excited and tries touching me and she freaks out!

With the request itself… well on the positive… you seem to know what you want to make happen and what sort of person you want it to happen with. The difficulty is the narrow spectrum of people who will match with the ‘what’ and the ‘who’ , who also like you and then don’t have any of the aforementioned concerns.

In short you are looking for a needle in a haystack. Widening your search (not your preferences) may be an option… i.e. looking further a field and not just on swinging sites.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Just a thought.... have you thought about asking to meet a woman on your own... building a sexual friendship and then letting hubby watch at a later date.... or is a big part of it about hubby watching?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

WE THINK YOUR AD IS TRUE AND HONEST AND HOPE YOU HAVE SUM LUCK BUT IF YOU DONT WE SUGGEST YOUS TRY AN OLDER CPLE .

OH WAIT A MINUTE WE ARE AN OLDER CPLE

LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All this honest advice and no comment from the OP in all this time, do you think they are actually reading the thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All this honest advice and no comment from the OP in all this time, do you think they are actually reading the thread

Maybe just reading? Most of what is written probably isn't what she wanted to read though.

I have to say we agree with most of the above.

Your criteria are extremely specific and your profile doesn't inspire much confidence in your security. You don't sound like you're strong enough as a couple to play this game.

Lots of people have a little nervousness about jealousy on the night before every doing it, and if we haven't picked up wrong then maybe you've just been honest to a fault in stating your thoughts?

Neither of us would chance you if we were slim, attractive, 2-30y/o single bi fems who didn't mind smokers. Your profile doesn't offend us, but it does sound like a higher risk than most other people.

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By *ortheastcoupleukCouple
over a year ago

easington were the sun dont shine

"Just a thought.... have you thought about asking to meet a woman on your own... building a sexual friendship and then letting hubby watch at a later date.... or is a big part of it about hubby watching?"
take this good advice and sit back and have a think , up till now have seen loads of posts on different sites ie what are we doing wrong,, nothing but only looking for a single female is hard up till now in 6 years we have met 16 most got in touch with us i (mr) and watched or joined in a few times ,so the advice for meeting a lass on your own maybe better for you oor lass has met fems on her own and enjoyed it no pressure either way or some other advice given is a club with a bi night or maybe even a gay area if one nearer to you ,go out see if you get approached . we were at a party not so long ago where a cpl where the fella seemed to be a bit upfront with a few of the lasses and the wife wernt very impressed till we found out they only meet fems for her so have a think bout where you wana be in the scene , every bodys into different things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All this honest advice and no comment from the OP in all this time, do you think they are actually reading the thread

I often think this jed... Sometimes i think we are research guinea pigs

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Just a question for people out there. When you all decided to play with other people, whichever way you did it, were you convinced you would like every aspect of it ?

We didn't. We knew what we would like to happen but the reality could have been totally different. We have also done things that we didn't think we would want to. Things could change as you go along.

The OP profile says clearly that at the moment she would like to try playing with a single fem while hubby watches and although right now she wouldn't want her hubby playing with anyone, who knows in the future as right now everything is just curious and guess work for them.

Nothing is black and white with anything surely? and if they want to start slow to playing these games, why not?

To the OP...good luck in what you are looking for, and hopefully you will find some fun times ahead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For sure I think most people start off at a very safe/secure level (if there is such a thing) when I first started it was FFM, FFFM, FFFFFM, ok I was lucky but then we tried swapping with couples, then adding single males to the equation and at the same time trying new things like playing alone, seperate rooms etc.

We have been happy with how things have progressed and have no regrets

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Maybe that is this couples safe/secure level.

To be honest I am a bit lost as to why they got told they are not swingers, they are doing it wrong and using people etc etc..when it sounds like they are starting off at their safe level.

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By *ortheastcoupleukCouple
over a year ago

easington were the sun dont shine

"Maybe that is this couples safe/secure level.

To be honest I am a bit lost as to why they got told they are not swingers, they are doing it wrong and using people etc etc..when it sounds like they are starting off at their safe level."
totally agree we do things we didnt use to we were arny f2f and have moved on to a lev where we ok for now but never say never

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Better to dip your toe than dive right in. It took 3 meets with the 1st guy my wife went with before hey had full sex, 1st she dressed in sexy dress and stockings ect, let him undress her and touch her only, 2nd same as before but she also gave him a bj 3rd was full sex. She was not pushed/rushed and felt great afterwards. That was 20 years ago and we still have that same great feeling each and every time.

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By *rouble and strifeCouple
over a year ago

Nr Glasgow

Are we doing something wrong"
whats wrong with the couple that verified you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In that case don't you need an exhibitionist,unselfish, GAY female?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I ask a question of the OP.

Basically if I have it right, you want to play with a woman and it would be pleasing to you to have your husband watch

So my question is:

Can the partner of the other woman watch at the same time ? or are you only looking for a single female or if it is a couple you meet would her partner be banned from watching ?

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