FabSwingers.com forum: Let's Just Ban All Single Men

By *ntelligentguy OP Man
15 weeks ago

Tamworth

Yeah I said it! Ban all single men, but only the bad ones.

No more "Wanking Dead", Down with fake profiles, & stop with the "Hi Here's a close up of my penis".

...but for the rest of us decent single guys on here...

Share your best advice to a newbie starting out in the lifestyle. What's the best way to avoid the pitfalls of the swing? What makes a good opening message? What are examples of instant turn-offs?

Serious or funny replies all welcome

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
15 weeks ago

Leeds

Instant turn off - some randomer popping into your inbox cock out spouting a load of crap about what "they" want to do to you sexually before even seeing your face or having any idea what you like 🤮

Mrs

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By *ntelligentguy OP Man
15 weeks ago

Tamworth

I'll go 1st.

Build a decent profile & include a picture. Doesn't have to be your face, but shouldn't be just a black silhouette

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By *ntelligentguy OP Man
15 weeks ago

Tamworth

That's not the best way to make a 1st impression.

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By *ucyLicks51Woman
15 weeks ago

Glasgow

An opening message of

"When are you free"

Instant turn off

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By *ntelligentguy OP Man
15 weeks ago

Tamworth

"An opening message of

"When are you free"

Instant turn off

That's an ice breaker without the ice!

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By *ueens of the SceneWoman
15 weeks ago

Leicestershire

"Yeah I said it! Ban all single men, but only the bad ones.

No more "Wanking Dead", Down with fake profiles, & stop with the "Hi Here's a close up of my penis".

...but for the rest of us decent single guys on here...

Share your best advice to a newbie starting out in the lifestyle. What's the best way to avoid the pitfalls of the swing? What makes a good opening message? What are examples of instant turn-offs?

Serious or funny replies all welcome

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By *he HMFsCouple
15 weeks ago

Stratford Upon Avon

Tidy your house! Have decent pics, not just a stack of cock shots (yawn...well done on having a Penis) . Read the feckin profile and take the time to write a proper message. One word 'Hey' messages just look like spam and get deleted. Send a face pic...far more important than a pick pic. Go to a club and don't join the fapzombies. Be able to hold a decent conversation. Appreciate you are 1 amongst thousands of single Men here so your chances of success are pretty slim.

Just be a decent human!

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By *ueens of the SceneWoman
15 weeks ago

Leicestershire

"Yeah I said it! Ban all single men, but only the bad ones.

No more "Wanking Dead", Down with fake profiles, & stop with the "Hi Here's a close up of my penis".

...but for the rest of us decent single guys on here...

Share your best advice to a newbie starting out in the lifestyle. What's the best way to avoid the pitfalls of the swing? What makes a good opening message? What are examples of instant turn-offs?

Serious or funny replies all welcome

Pictures of the very end of a cock … it baffles me … is it to show no weeping sores , no festering wounds - I can never quite understand the motive, but i do know it makes me hide my eyes and look away !

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By *ntelligentguy OP Man
15 weeks ago

Tamworth

"Tidy your house! Have decent pics, not just a stack of cock shots (yawn...well done on having a Penis) . Read the feckin profile and take the time to write a proper message. One word 'Hey' messages just look like spam and get deleted. Send a face pic...far more important than a pick pic. Go to a club and don't join the fapzombies. Be able to hold a decent conversation. Appreciate you are 1 amongst thousands of single Men here so your chances of success are pretty slim.

Just be a decent human!"

So many excellent tips here

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By *ntelligentguy OP Man
15 weeks ago

Tamworth

Yuck, this is a tip that you absolutely don't want to give

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By *rightonsteveMan
15 weeks ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Yuck, this is a tip that you absolutely don't want to give

Which is ironic considering so many men want to show ladies their tip.

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By *awpleasureMan
15 weeks ago

Sutton Coldfield

Just be a decent human!"

It's fine if you have the time to write a decent message which is specifically profile related to the person or couple you're messaging but it can be soul destroying when they dont even open it or just delete.

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By *andb69Couple
15 weeks ago

leeds

Both swinging and Fab are many different things to many different people. My advice, as a woman, is present your profile as YOU want to present it and don't take any notice of what others tell you to post. That way you will find people with whom you are in tune because you're not pretending to be anyone else. For example some women really do like to see dick pics (and, no, not all dicks look the same) and if you like posting them you have a connection.

We have been on Fab and visiting clubs across the UK and Europe for over a decade and in our experience there has been very little problem with single guys. Do your own thing and don't worry about what others think. If your behaviour or Fab profile doesn't work for you, you will change it yourself.

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By *ornucopiaMan
15 weeks ago

Bexley

Who isn't going to say that he is anything but a decent single man, when he's after something on Fab?

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By *ockdownlickdownMan
15 weeks ago

paisley

"When are you free"

Friday looks good at the moment 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

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By *onMogsMan
15 weeks ago

Lincoln

I personally just try and be myself which is nice, polite and respectful mainly. I send face pics and send nice opening messages to show I have read the profile and have taken my time to message people.

There will be times where you aren’t everyone’s cup of tea but it’s okay just stay true to yourself and you’ll get there. I know my profile I haven’t had any meets in person yet but I’m somewhat constricted on how I can live the life style at the moment but I have had people interested and reached out.

So if you ever feel like it’s not going well don’t be disheartened I thought I would get no where but I am and it’s great even if it’s just chatting to other members on here.

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By *ockdownlickdownMan
15 weeks ago

paisley

"My advice, as a woman, is present your profile as YOU want to present it and don't take any notice of what others tell you to post.

Yes

"If your behaviour or Fab profile doesn't work for you, you will change it yourself. "

This not so much.....

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By *eachbums40Couple
15 weeks ago

Midlands

"Yeah I said it! Ban all single men, but only the bad ones.

No more "Wanking Dead", Down with fake profiles, & stop with the "Hi Here's a close up of my penis".

...but for the rest of us decent single guys on here...

Share your best advice to a newbie starting out in the lifestyle. What's the best way to avoid the pitfalls of the swing? What makes a good opening message? What are examples of instant turn-offs?

Serious or funny replies all welcome

Yep!!

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By *eroLondonMan
15 weeks ago

Mayfair

To be honest I rely on the bad ones. They should remain. Their presence only reinforces my sense and sensibilities, and my p+sitive experiences on here.

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By *harAndBryCouple
15 weeks ago

Downham Market

"Yeah I said it! Ban all single men, but only the bad ones."

We need single guys!

But in all seriousness, couples are worse than single guys. Of the messages we get from single guys, we'd say maybe half have read our profile. Of the messages we get from couples, maybe one in ten have read it. They seem to think that being a couple means they're above needing to put the same effort in!

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By *ntelligentguy OP Man
15 weeks ago

Tamworth

"Both swinging and Fab are many different things to many different people. My advice, as a woman, is present your profile as YOU want to present it and don't take any notice of what others tell you to post. "

Well said

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By *orgetmeKnotCouple
15 weeks ago

Rainham, Kent

If you're approaching a couple then remember there are 2 people that you need to appeal to, so treat both with respect and address them both in messages (unless stated otherwise)

In the majority of cases, couples are not here because the wife has an underwhelming sex life...quite the opposite! So don't make out like you are superior to the husband. Some couples may find it a turn on, but it can result in you being blocked pretty quickly if they don't.

Read profiles before messaging, then read it again....it is very frustrating to receive messages asking questions that are answered in the profile text.

And the big one....1 dick pic on your profile is plenty..2 is ok...but a dick pic on the toilet is always too much!

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By *ellhungvweMan
15 weeks ago

Cheltenham

"To be honest I rely on the bad ones. They should remain. Their presence only reinforces my sense and sensibilities, and my p+sitive experiences on here."

I am with Nero. I love the bad ones! Keep up the crap work boys

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By *ntelligentguy OP Man
15 weeks ago

Tamworth

"To be honest I rely on the bad ones. They should remain. Their presence only reinforces my sense and sensibilities, and my p+sitive experiences on here."

Lol, yeah the bad ones make it easier for the good ones to shine

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By *lrightthenMan
15 weeks ago

Bradford

What's "wanking dead"?

I don't even know why I have pics on show, all I do on here is look at forums, and sometimes pics and videos

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By *ittlebirdWoman
15 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

Best advice?

Read the plethora of advice shared already here. Actually read it with the intent to improving your profile.

Look at pretty pictures but make sure when you message you compose it using your big head rather than your little one.

Have fun.

Make friends here.

Wear sunscreen 🌈

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
15 weeks ago

East Sussex

I have 3 pieces of advice for new people.

Filters

Respect

Do not take this stuff seriously. Honestly just treat it as a bit of fun

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By *arand25Couple
15 weeks ago

Crowborough

Read the profile you look at before messaging, not just look at the photos!

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By *d8567Man
14 weeks ago

Alsager

My advice as a single man is give up remain on the site if you wish but Unless you are the top 20 per cent you have no chance single men as for profile advice you could have the best in the world and face constant rejection many women and couples profiles are rude arrogant spelling mistakes stupid demands and requests believe me I have read hundreds go to another non amateur site don’t waste your time becoming site supporter etc this site is for couples single woman and maybe gay men though I doubt that are you gym fit 6ft 20s then maybe

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By *d8567Man
14 weeks ago

Alsager

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By *d8567Man
14 weeks ago

Alsager

On this site single men are regarded as the lowest of the low if you don’t want types of men say so a profile saying black men only is at least honest

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By *andystick72Man
14 weeks ago

kinky Street

Single guy here

I have no complaints on here

Got to love the fakers / time timewaters,

Yep I do alright

Just dipping my toes in

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By *eautyandthebeast86Couple
14 weeks ago

Somewhere in Norfolk ask :)

We have had it where a single man has not been much older than my son so we politely decline only to have them message again today so no choice but to block and and then another who said ‘ I’m in your area tomorrow let’s have some fun’ firstly dude you didn’t read our profile and secondly you think we going to cancel our valentines plans for you ? Erm no ? 99.9 per cent of the single men we encounter are not worth a second of our time but we are mindful that there are some lovely amazing guys on here

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By *ophie199Couple
14 weeks ago

Leeds

Love single men. Op you look good.

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By *harAndBryCouple
14 weeks ago

Downham Market

"On this site single men are regarded as the lowest of the low if you don’t want types of men say so a profile saying black men only is at least honest"

Not true. We respect single males - well, those who respect us.

The issue is, so many single males don't bother to read our profile. We state why type of man we're looking for and still get stupid messages from people who are nothing like what we prefer. When we say "sorry, but unfortunately not for us", many will reply with "why not? What's she looking for, I can change". It's that that winds us up.

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By *r.AverageMan
14 weeks ago

Hampshire

Doesn't bother me either way.

The people who aren't worth the time generally don't get any time.

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By *d8567Man
14 weeks ago

Alsager

Unfortunately while some women and men claim to respect single men a lot do not a lot of women for instance have on their profile will meet 18 to 99 really or will meet men look at their profile and they dont want to meet single men after all why not state I only want to meet black men gym fit men or young men the attitude is lazy regardless of what is written hundreds of men will message

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By *teve691000Man
14 weeks ago

West Midlands

Anyone without a profile picture should be instantly banned.

Don’t look up 😂

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By *d8567Man
14 weeks ago

Alsager

This obsession with verifications is a joke I suspect there are three reasons one you are having so many two you had a meeting and it was a disaster and three as a man you the wrong sort of meeting with another man there is also an obsession with broadcasting their beliefs in s profile obviously the correct belief as the site seems to be run by readers of the guardian I was once told that you can only be certain of three things in a paper the title the date and the price

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By *ack DawXXXMan
14 weeks ago

Weybridge

Get rid of all men on here. They've ruined it for everyone. All of them. Even if they're part of a couple. Kick them out.

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By *reg CMan
14 weeks ago

Wiltshire

"This obsession with verifications is a joke I suspect there are three reasons one you are having so many two you had a meeting and it was a disaster and three as a man you the wrong sort of meeting with another man there is also an obsession with broadcasting their beliefs in s profile obviously the correct belief as the site seems to be run by readers of the guardian I was once told that you can only be certain of three things in a paper the title the date and the price "

Reply to forum post "Lets Just Ban All Single Men" I’m trying to make sense of the above, which, without punctuation is tricky. However, I do think it is more difficult as single man in here these days, to find good meets!

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By *lenderfoxMan
14 weeks ago

Leeds

For guys new to Fab, I recommend putting the effort into your profile & photos. Put some personality into it, tell people about yourself and don't be generic!

Once you've nailed your profile and are ready to send some messages, make them personal, polite & interesting - something that starts a conversation.

If you're a newbie going to a club, my advice would be to go without expectations and approach it as you would any social event - be friendly and chat to people

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By *CExeCouple
14 weeks ago

Hong-Kong/Exeter

Try to understand what a couple or woman is looking for and gear your message around that. If their profile says they're after older guys who can accommodate and you're younger and can't....don't message.

Chatting on the forums, cams and just getting an understanding of how swinging differs from just getting your willy wet is probably the main thing.

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By *lex7509Man
14 weeks ago

Chesterfield

Don’t even bother. Too much like hard work on here.

Much easier to meet on Hinge, infinitely higher reply to message ratio. And you’d be surprised how many great looking ladies are curious and want to explore the lifestyle. Drop it in to conversation carefully, and very few aren’t interested from my experience 😇

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By *upersmoothMan
14 weeks ago

Castle Donington

If you're a single man on here my advice would be to not expect a reply to any message ever.

It's a bit like applying for jobs - you can be fully qualified & experienced, meet every requirement, spend ages writing a witty, targeted message, send face photos, insert the key word to prove you've read the profile, press send and wait. Then wait. Then wait some more. And then, eventually - fuck all!

Maybe I'm just an ugly bastard!

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By *rhugesMan
14 weeks ago

Cardiff

Best thing to do is make this sight a paying site, say a £50 upfront joining fee. That would probably get rid of most of the fakes

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By *ntelligentguy OP Man
13 weeks ago

Tamworth

"My advice as a single man is give up remain on the site if you wish but Unless you are the top 20 per cent you have no chance single men as for profile advice you could have the best in the world and face constant rejection many women and couples profiles are rude arrogant spelling mistakes stupid demands and requests believe me I have read hundreds go to another non amateur site don’t waste your time becoming site supporter etc this site is for couples single woman and maybe gay men though I doubt that are you gym fit 6ft 20s then maybe "

Sorry to hear you have this experience. There are some very positive examples and tips left in this thread. Hopefully things work out for you.

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By *ntelligentguy OP Man
13 weeks ago

Tamworth

"Love single men. Op you look good. "

Thanks for the reply and I might now be blushing

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By *ayKellyMan
13 weeks ago

Kinross

"Yeah I said it! Ban all single men, but only the bad ones.

No more "Wanking Dead", Down with fake profiles, & stop with the "Hi Here's a close up of my penis".

...but for the rest of us decent single guys on here...

Share your best advice to a newbie starting out in the lifestyle. What's the best way to avoid the pitfalls of the swing? What makes a good opening message? What are examples of instant turn-offs?

Serious or funny replies all welcome

Would an intelligent guy have to tell people he's intelligent?

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By *ntelligentguy OP Man
13 weeks ago

Tamworth

"On this site single men are regarded as the lowest of the low if you don’t want types of men say so a profile saying black men only is at least honest

Not true. We respect single males - well, those who respect us.

This is so true. Doesn't take much to read the profile. Of course, respect from both sides.

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By *ntelligentguy OP Man
13 weeks ago

Tamworth

"Doesn't bother me either way.

The people who aren't worth the time generally don't get any time."

so true

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
13 weeks ago

kent

As always, lots of great advice here already. The only thing we can add is practice your written communication skills. So much attention is given to pictures, but if you can’t communicate effectively and creatively with words then you’ll struggle to get beyond the first message. The better wordsmith you are, the more chance of success. So write a lot (and read a lot) and maybe Fab will open up for you Xx

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By *ntelligentguy OP Man
13 weeks ago

Tamworth

"Get rid of all men on here. They've ruined it for everyone. All of them. Even if they're part of a couple. Kick them out."

Lol, "Fab Females"??

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By *ntelligentguy OP Man
13 weeks ago

Tamworth

Thanks for the reply. I think the best way to find "good meets", is to attend events. Even if it's a social. But you are correct, it's a chore being a SM on here

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By *ntelligentguy OP Man
13 weeks ago

Tamworth

Would an intelligent guy have to tell people he's intelligent?"

It's a safe space & this post will hopefully give newbies a chance to learn some helpful tips. Others can share their experiences. Some people may even find some extra confidence or even a connection from this.

Anything else is just personal opinion. I choose smiles over frowns

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

I'm certainly no expert or poster boy when it comes to quality male profiles, but one thing I'd like to see less of is blokes spreading their arse cheeks & showing their arseholes! Pack it in lads 🤢

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

"Yeah I said it! Ban all single men, but only the bad ones.

No more "Wanking Dead", Down with fake profiles, & stop with the "Hi Here's a close up of my penis".

...but for the rest of us decent single guys on here...

Share your best advice to a newbie starting out in the lifestyle. What's the best way to avoid the pitfalls of the swing? What makes a good opening message? What are examples of instant turn-offs?

Serious or funny replies all welcome

Tbh its not a bad idea. Maybe extra stringent vetting on single male profiles. Or make single male profiles paid only and up the price.... Will probably sort the quality issue out

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By *igladAndLulahCouple
13 weeks ago

South East

"An opening message of

"When are you free"

Instant turn off

I respond with I’m always free for the right person, sadly that will never be you

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By *ornucopiaMan
13 weeks ago

Bexley

"An opening message of

"When are you free"

Instant turn off

I respond with I’m always free for the right person, sadly that will never be you "

Isn’t 'sadly' a bit of an oxymoron?

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By *ornucopiaMan
13 weeks ago

Bexley

"I'm certainly no expert or poster boy when it comes to quality male profiles, but one thing I'd like to see less of is blokes spreading their arse cheeks & showing their arseholes! Pack it in lads 🤢 "

I agree. They are abusing the hospitality of the site for someone else's end!

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By *ornucopiaMan
13 weeks ago

Bexley

"Yeah I said it! Ban all single men, but only the bad ones.

No more "Wanking Dead", Down with fake profiles, & stop with the "Hi Here's a close up of my penis".

...but for the rest of us decent single guys on here...

Share your best advice to a newbie starting out in the lifestyle. What's the best way to avoid the pitfalls of the swing? What makes a good opening message? What are examples of instant turn-offs?

Serious or funny replies all welcome

Would an intelligent guy have to tell people he's intelligent?"

Same goes for the self styled 'decent' ones!

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By *tarcrossed_SwingersCouple
13 weeks ago

Leicester

If you're profile photo is of your cock, it's going in the bin.

If all your photos are of your cock, you're most likely going in the bin.

If your profile says 'fill in later' one year on, again, deleted.

If you can actually have a bit of character, show off your true colour and personality, read our profile and tick the boxes we are looking for, you'll get a reply!

Not sure why it's so hard

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By *amieLDN22Man
13 weeks ago

London

I agree with CharAndBry and _andb69.

Single guys are not the problem. I've met couples equally as bad. Without single men there is no fabswingers.com and no clubs. They pay for all that.

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By *reeneggsandsamMan
13 weeks ago

Perpignan and cap

Hey, don't ban me! What have I ever done wrong?

Seriously though, advice to the newbies... Don't go on here when you're horny or d*unk. Approach it sober, chat and meet people politely during business hours and or early evening. That'll give you both time to find an easy out.

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

"If you're profile photo is of your cock, it's going in the bin.

If all your photos are of your cock, you're most likely going in the bin.

If your profile says 'fill in later' one year on, again, deleted.

If you can actually have a bit of character, show off your true colour and personality, read our profile and tick the boxes we are looking for, you'll get a reply!

Not sure why it's so hard

It's hard because you're expecting a standard in people that they just have not evolved to have. You're giving them more respect than they deserve.

It's really that simple.

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By *nvader2021Couple
13 weeks ago

Watford

No let’s Not ban single men…

Biggest tip, in addition to the above, don’t be needy/extra but do be enthusiastic - it’s a delicate line / balance but that’s with everything in life

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By *Rule_DFILMan
13 weeks ago

side you

Depends on the people reading them I guess… there’s plenty of profile which say hey/hi or 1 line msg will be ignored but what gets me is ignoring an actual decent tidy msg…. Simple reply isn’t hard 🤷🏻‍♂️

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By *ornucopiaMan
13 weeks ago

Bexley

"Depends on the people reading them I guess… there’s plenty of profile which say hey/hi or 1 line msg will be ignored but what gets me is ignoring an actual decent tidy msg…. Simple reply isn’t hard 🤷🏻‍♂️"

It shouldn't get you, because it has all been explained 'umpteen times by 'umpteen people.

Besides, it is Fab policy to promote the concept.

I and 'umpteen others have no problem with it.

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By *ilkSkinMan
13 weeks ago

London

A lot of people listing the dos and don't but really these rules do not apply if you're good looking of course.

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By *ornyj37Man
13 weeks ago

Devon

Interesting thread ...I love meeting couples and am always respectful. I guess that respect has enabled me to meet lots of great people. I would just advise guys to understand what couples want and show the same respect

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By *eautyandthebeast86Couple
13 weeks ago

Somewhere in Norfolk ask :)

Our profile clearly states we are boyfriend and girlfriend and that we don’t like the word tits as we see it as common and prefer boobs or breasts, just got a message from a single guy saying your wife’s tits are amazing. Instant block and puts us off single men, if you can’t take 2 mins to read a profile we are not going to take any time to entertain you….

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

"Our profile clearly states we are boyfriend and girlfriend and that we don’t like the word tits as we see it as common and prefer boobs or breasts, just got a message from a single guy saying your wife’s tits are amazing. Instant block and puts us off single men, if you can’t take 2 mins to read a profile we are not going to take any time to entertain you…."

is the word "BappyDapps" acceptable?

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

serious note tho... what if there was like an uber style rating system? so people with 4+ stars would be able to DM/post etc

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By *inkyandthebrain2023Couple
13 weeks ago

Cheshire

I always thought that if you limit the number of messages a single male could send to new profiles, maybe they would be look for profiles that match what they are after more. Say maybe 10 a day but no limit on profiles they already interact with.

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By *ornucopiaMan
13 weeks ago

Bexley

"I always thought that if you limit the number of messages a single male could send to new profiles, maybe they would be look for profiles that match what they are after more. Say maybe 10 a day but no limit on profiles they already interact with. "

Even ten a day is well within my definition of carpet bombing!

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By *he Silver FuxMan
13 weeks ago

Utero

"Who isn't going to say that he is anything but a decent single man, when he's after something on Fab?"

I’m not like all the other men… I’m worse

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By *ara25xWoman
13 weeks ago

Angus

1st message whats your snap

When you free

Fancy a fuck

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By *eautyandthebeast86Couple
13 weeks ago

Somewhere in Norfolk ask :)

is the word "BappyDapps" acceptable? "

Haha quite like that , just hate the word tits.

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By *ams12345Man
13 weeks ago

london

Mate there is no advice. It’s the lottery lol. But good way to keep in touch with people u meet in clubs and stuff

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By *atinaChica54Woman
13 weeks ago

Marlborough

Jeez! You said all that as one sentence! Didn't even pause for breath & repeated yourself! I need a lie down!

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By *ealitybitesMan
13 weeks ago

Belfast

The only pitfalls here for single men are the ones they create for themselves.

Publicly declaring that every woman on fab should change their preferences to fit your age/height/bodyshape/dick size is using up all your fab energy.

Claiming that every woman is forcing you to jump through hoops or bend over backwards is a sure sign of projection and laziness.

Announcing that women are in control here and men don't have options just screams lack of self respect.

Lastly, blaming other men for your own lack of success is the biggest excuse of the lot. It's not a competition and anyone telling you that it is, is part of the problem, not part of the solution.

Own your profile, your pics and your opinions and stop creating and recreating a fab persona based on what you think others want to see.

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By *hisIsMe58Man
13 weeks ago

Winchester

Have no pictures or just ones of your cock. Only send messages with the word hi. Don't write anything thing on your profile.

That should keep the competition down

Seriously, only message people that you think you'll be compatible with and think they would be interested in you. This means reading profiles to see if there may be some common ground or interests. Also be realistic about distances.

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