FabSwingers.com forum: Opening Chat

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just writing to say hi and to ask that you give my profile a good seeing to, well ok a good read and if you like my vibe lets have a chat"

I have been getting grief for sending the above as an initial hello, on the grounds that it is a one message fits all hello. Even though my profile itself is definitely original and has its own style.

Tell me ladies and gents for that matter:

How much weight do you give to the opening hello, it is more important than the profile and pictures.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

How much weight do you give to the opening hello, it is more important than the profile and pictures."

Lots and lots and lots and lots..... and lots and lots..... and lots and lots..... get the idea yet?

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

I prefer a personal message

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By *aravancoupleMan
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love

You will need to try harder than that to impress the ladies.

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

""Just writing to say hi and to ask that you give my profile a good seeing to, well ok a good read and if you like my vibe lets have a chat"

Tell me ladies and gents for that matter:

How much weight do you give to the opening hello, it is more important than the profile and pictures."

Cut and paste don't wash it here mate!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its so obviously a cut and paste message , get em all the time....and there deleted straight away, we ladies like to think we are special and that a man is guna make a lil effort to woo us...we,re worth it....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have to agree with other posters. Who wants to recieve cut and paste messages? Tailor your message to the person you're contacting it shows you've read their profile and not just stumbled across it whilst browsing!

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By *ickedWWoman
over a year ago

Chester

The profile is too long for me, yes I like information but half way thru ya song i was bored and moved on

Sorry

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you lexy there is of course no wrong or right answer I just gambling that the lady might want to learn more about me but I will put note on my profile to warn anyone else that reads it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi sassy

how can you tailor hello

hello or hi is always hello or hi

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

hi lady babes so if I met you in bar and said hello you would think I not treating your respectfully enough

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"hi lady babes so if I met you in bar and said hello you would think I not treating your respectfully enough"

If you walked up and said "hello, if you like my vibe lets chat" and I'd just watched you using the exact same line on every other woman in the bar... yep.

Whilst we'll never really know how many other ladies have also been sent a generic 'hello' message.... when we get the hint it's a cut and paste message, it's sometimes difficult to not assume senders have just spammed every female profile online.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my humble opinion I believe messages should be personal to the person being messaged, just because it's a Swingers site doesn't mean manners should be dropped

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi sassy

how can you tailor hello

hello or hi is always hello or hi"
I dont even bother to open some messages because they obviously haven't read my profile and you know why? It may start hi hun/babe: in the opening sentence I state I hate being called hun/babe! To make it easy I also state no bi, married, local, mature, no text speak and white only. Therefore if I get message from for example marriedbiblk82 starting 'hi hun, how r u...' you get my point?!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As the OP should now have gathered when trying to meet with single ladies you are going to have to move heaven and earth to stand any chance of satisfying their ever changing list of demands.

Fortunately we are a couple who only seek other couples and for the past 9 years a simple

"Hi, have a look at our profile and if we seem the sort of folk you are looking to meet get back to us, if not best wishes"

has worked a treat

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

I hardly think expecting to be messaged as an individual amounts to the movement of heaven and earth. It’s nice to see someone is interested in the person and not just checking for a pulse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/01/10 12:32:53]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not wishing to get into a "pissing" contest over this but a polite one line enquiry along the lines I allude to in the previous post is more than sufficient for us and has been more than sufficient for others in the 9 years we have been playing.

We expect little in the way of initial contact so we are never disappointed

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

We expect little in the way of initial contact so we are never disappointed

Oh I preferred (and to some extent agreed with) your deleted version.... expressing your style expectations of a profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We expect little in the way of initial contact so we are never disappointed

Oh I preferred (and to some extent agreed with) your deleted version.... expressing your style expectations of a profile

A personal viewpoint and probably rude to state, hence the deletion

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

We expect little in the way of initial contact so we are never disappointed

Oh I preferred (and to some extent agreed with) your deleted version.... expressing your style expectations of a profile

A personal viewpoint and probably rude to state, hence the deletion

Just goes to show though... one person's heaven and earth is another person's simple expectation.... and vice versa

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

NOTES FROM A SINGLE LADY .......

obviously lots of messages receeived here tho not the hundred a day some claim more like 5 or 6!!! but i really cant see the point of replying to people who dont interest me for one reason or another .although some i send a thx but no thx...im a busy lady working 3 jobs to survive independantly so my time is precious also have to fit in time to spend with a lovely family .ive met some great guys made some great friends ...but im shallow i need a guy to float my boat and a guy with intelligence and humour and in my age range and distance criteria !...no point chatting to those that dont to be honest ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest if Vin Diesel was to send us a message with “fancy a fuck” he’d have pulled.

A nicely worded profile with pictures is better than any message will ever be, to us anyway, John McCririck could compose a message that could have us in tears, but one look at his picture and a no thanks would ensue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be honest if Vin Diesel was to send us a message with “fancy a fuck” he’d have pulled.

Where the fuck is the round of applause smiley when you need it

A polite enquiry followed by a look at the profile is how we decide to proceed.

Apart from single guy/girl contact which our profile says we are not looking for, we have never yet made a decision based solely on a PM

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I dont answer cut and paste messages especially when they cant even change the word couple to single girl in it

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By *umpingJackFlashMan
over a year ago

Somewhere near you?

Please feel free to use this "cut and paste" reply to any "cut and paste" applications!

(I/We) would like to (accept/decline) your request for a (meet/drink/hot tub session) on {insert day here} Having noted your desire to be (licked/shagged/whipped/tied to the bed/hung upside down and have your boxers set on fire/have your wife find you naked in the towncentre).We find you (intensly interesting/somewhat deranged/darn right off your trolley). Please feel free (to contact us for a time and place/to find someone with simmilar tastes/to seek urgent psychiatric help). Yours (hotley/confussed/quite freaked out) {insert name here}

All in brackets are delete as required!

Tony

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thats still a bit vague so suspect it will need a bit more substance to it to work on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If i get a message that's not aimed directly at me i loose interest quickly as i assume its been sent to another 100 on here. A personal message holds far more weight.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

To elaborate on a generalised reply (though I am sure most people can accept there are always exceptions to a general rule when the rule is explained in brief)

Messages from single guys:

Oneliner (fancy a shag/are you free today)….. Delete without looking at profile.

Generic hello message (message being it’s more than one line) + crappy one line profile…. Delete (sometimes I won’t bother looking at the profile depending on what the message says)

Generic hello message + well worded profile + photos but I don’t fancy them or their profile shows they are not what I am looking for…. Sometimes they get sent a “no thanks” but more often I’ll delete if it appears they have ignored my preferences and are just being a chancer… again that’s if I bothered to look at the profile.

Generic hello message + nice profile and nice pics…. may be worth investigating further, but they could still be a dickhead; as I am aware of a number of guys who got other people to write their profile for them.

Personalised message…. I will always look at their profile. It’s still no guarantee of anything more than that, but I will have looked.

For me, the initial message does play a huge role in first impressions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I too get quite a lot of messages of a generic nature and it is clear that they are not personal when they say something like "I love your sexy pics" as I dont have any except for friends! At least take the trouble to look at the profile of the person you are messaging!

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