FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swingers Chat

Ages and swinging couples

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just seen a profile with m 49 and f 27, they're tag line "been a couple for 12 years". This would make him 37 and her 15, a bit dodgy when it comes to the law. What do you fine members of the swinging community think and would you think twice about telling everyone about it?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Providing they are not telling porkies they seem to have lasted a good few years so wouldn't really bother us.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

12 years is a great achievement. I was focusing more on the fact that she would have been 15.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She could have been but just cos they were together doesn't mean they were playing hide the sausage from the start.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago


"She could have been but just cos they were together doesn't mean they were playing hide the sausage from the start."

Exactly and shes 27 now

They could of course be lying about their ages

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"She could have been but just cos they were together doesn't mean they were playing hide the sausage from the start.

Exactly and shes 27 now

They could of course be lying about their ages "

A woman lying about her age or size etc, get the fuck out of here, never going to happen

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

lol if I had a 15 year old daughter I'd keep her away from 37 year old men, even if they did just want to hold her hand lol

Yeah, I know people lie about a lot on here, so I wouldn't be surprised.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

OK, I'll bite


"lol if I had a 15 year old daughter I'd keep her away from 37 year old men"

Why?

The reason I ask, according to your profile, you're willing to meet people old enough to be your parents oh, and there's not much difference between 15 and your current age.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

My sisters 15 and she needs to be told to do her home work, tidy her room and to put her shoes away, I really don't see these as attractive qualities for a girl friend. Sure I like older women but I'm 21 and have seen a lot of things, I can look after myself where as a 15 year old is dependant on others to protect them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham


"I can look after myself where as a 15 year old is dependant on others to protect them. "

You underestimate the youth of today.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or possibly over estimate the knowledge of a 21 year old

Got two about that age and love them to bits but boy have they still got a feckin lot to learn about life

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham


"Or possibly over estimate the knowledge of a 21 year old "

I was going to offer you a kiss but I get embarrassed doing it in public!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Save it for the next Chams social xxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham


"Save it for the next Chams social xxx"

Shhhhhhhhhhh we don't want everyone knowing our secret xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Or possibly over estimate the knowledge of a 21 year old

"

Older and wiser people than me set the age of consent at 16. The same for being able to drive at 17 and buy cigarettes and alcohol at 18.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OK, I'll bite

lol if I had a 15 year old daughter I'd keep her away from 37 year old men

Why?

The reason I ask, according to your profile, you're willing to meet people old enough to be your parents oh, and there's not much difference between 15 and your current age."

why? i have a 15 year old daughter and if any guy of 37 was hanging around her id cut his knob off, being an adult in your 20s and meeting people old enough to be your parent is not the same as having some perv sniffing around a 15 year old, and if anyone on here thinks its ok for a man of 37 to have a relationship sexually or other wise with a 15 year old CHILD they seriously need to sort their morals out, because if it was my daughter id have the police of him quicker than he could get in the car to bugger off

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OK, I'll bite

lol if I had a 15 year old daughter I'd keep her away from 37 year old men

Why?

The reason I ask, according to your profile, you're willing to meet people old enough to be your parents oh, and there's not much difference between 15 and your current age.

why? i have a 15 year old daughter and if any guy of 37 was hanging around her id cut his knob off, being an adult in your 20s and meeting people old enough to be your parent is not the same as having some perv sniffing around a 15 year old, and if anyone on here thinks its ok for a man of 37 to have a relationship sexually or other wise with a 15 year old CHILD they seriously need to sort their morals out, because if it was my daughter id have the police of him quicker than he could get in the car to bugger off "

Thanks - you've saved me from having to type that!! Must say surprised at some of the comments here

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex


"OK, I'll bite

lol if I had a 15 year old daughter I'd keep her away from 37 year old men

Why?

The reason I ask, according to your profile, you're willing to meet people old enough to be your parents oh, and there's not much difference between 15 and your current age.

why? i have a 15 year old daughter and if any guy of 37 was hanging around her id cut his knob off, being an adult in your 20s and meeting people old enough to be your parent is not the same as having some perv sniffing around a 15 year old, and if anyone on here thinks its ok for a man of 37 to have a relationship sexually or other wise with a 15 year old CHILD they seriously need to sort their morals out, because if it was my daughter id have the police of him quicker than he could get in the car to bugger off

Thanks - you've saved me from having to type that!! Must say surprised at some of the comments here "

The female half of a couple (she was on cam) came into the chat room some weeks ago. She's 18 and her partner is 36. Some of the guys were already drooling, what I found more disturbing was the fact that she had a 1 yr old boy by her partner - and even more so most of the guys (that were giving her attention) were in their late 40's early 50's.

While their argument maybe techinically correct that she's (now) an adult (but only just) no one stopped to think "Hang on, if she's 18 and has a 1 yr old boy by her 36 yr old partner, that means she was pregnant at 16 by a 34 yr old", and no one saw anything scary about this.

There are some strange people in this world.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"Just seen a profile with m 49 and f 27, they're tag line "been a couple for 12 years". This would make him 37 and her 15, a bit dodgy when it comes to the law. What do you fine members of the swinging community think and would you think twice about telling everyone about it?"

okay.... I think the real question is this and lets play a game of devil's advocate.....

If this couple sent you a message saying that they wanted to play with you, and they were the nicest people in the world... would the fact they met when she was apparently 15 really stop you from having a good time....

really.......

honestly.......

seriously.......

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

[Removed by poster at 04/01/10 10:11:26]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

I'll bite.

Considering that in the here and now puts the lady's age (27) within my preference window, and a lot can happen in 12 years (lets faceit, I was still a teen then) - No, it wouldn't stop me.

However, in the case of the 18 yr old with a 1 yr old boy - not on my life!

However if we go back to the OP female at the time she was 15, ofcourse I'd wanna chop nuts off. Two different poitns in time and two different mental attitudes.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'll bite.

Considering that in the here and now puts the lady's age (27) within my preference window, and a lot can happen in 12 years (lets faceit, I was still a teen then) - No, it wouldn't stop me.

However, in the case of the 18 yr old with a 1 yr old boy - not on my life!

However if we go back to the OP female at the time she was 15, ofcourse I'd wanna chop nuts off. Two different poitns in time and two different mental attitudes."
Well said that man!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"

The female half of a couple (she was on cam) came into the chat room some weeks ago. She's 18 and her partner is 36. Some of the guys were already drooling, what I found more disturbing was the fact that she had a 1 yr old boy by her partner - and even more so most of the guys (that were giving her attention) were in their late 40's early 50's.

While their argument maybe techinically correct that she's (now) an adult (but only just) no one stopped to think "Hang on, if she's 18 and has a 1 yr old boy by her 36 yr old partner, that means she was pregnant at 16 by a 34 yr old", and no one saw anything scary about this.

There are some strange people in this world."

okay... interesting morals out there but do you know what.... two things i will say here....

1) we don't know if she was 16yrs and 1 day or 16yrs and 364days when they met.. or even when they had sex....

2) In the real world, you know what... sometimes we just can't help who we fall in love with (I say love... they have been together for 2 years!)

I am not defending them.... but it comes down to the same point as I was making to the other chap...

so I will ask you the same question...

if you met them in a club, and they were two of the nicest people in the world, and they asked you to play...

would you turn them down???

really........

honestly.......

in fact... if you met them in a club, how likely is it that you would know any of this anyway?????

everyone out there is someones "daughter" or someones "son".... so what right to we have rightly or wrongly to judge someone based on there backstory, when certainly in the eyes of the law they have done nothing wrong....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

When I think about it (without knowing the original couple), I'm tempted to think the "12 years" is a typo for "2 years" (wishful thinking?) I just can't really see how they've not only convnced their respective families, their friends and neighbours and now the swigning community to accept them without some stiff ('scuse the pun) social challenge.

Maybe they're pulling everyone's leg to see who's judgemental, who's desperate, and who is more interested in the people? How many profiles do we see one thing and the reality is lightly tweaked... depending on what it is ofcourse.

Simple example. I see alot of profiles of coupels with "No single guys". As it turns out some of these couples have that sinly to allow them choose what single guys they want without beign flooded. Would I turn down an offer from them becasue I think they've lied to me, especially if I got on with them? Ofcourse not.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex


"

The female half of a couple (she was on cam) came into the chat room some weeks ago. She's 18 and her partner is 36. Some of the guys were already drooling, what I found more disturbing was the fact that she had a 1 yr old boy by her partner - and even more so most of the guys (that were giving her attention) were in their late 40's early 50's.

While their argument maybe techinically correct that she's (now) an adult (but only just) no one stopped to think "Hang on, if she's 18 and has a 1 yr old boy by her 36 yr old partner, that means she was pregnant at 16 by a 34 yr old", and no one saw anything scary about this.

There are some strange people in this world.

okay... interesting morals out there but do you know what.... two things i will say here....

1) we don't know if she was 16yrs and 1 day or 16yrs and 364days when they met.. or even when they had sex....

2) In the real world, you know what... sometimes we just can't help who we fall in love with (I say love... they have been together for 2 years!)

I am not defending them.... but it comes down to the same point as I was making to the other chap...

so I will ask you the same question...

if you met them in a club, and they were two of the nicest people in the world, and they asked you to play...

would you turn them down???

really........

honestly.......

in fact... if you met them in a club, how likely is it that you would know any of this anyway?????

everyone out there is someones "daughter" or someones "son".... so what right to we have rightly or wrongly to judge someone based on there backstory, when certainly in the eyes of the law they have done nothing wrong...."

Interesting points.

1) Whether 16 and 1 day or 16 and 364 days, I'd find it disturbing that a grownman in his 30's was pursuing anyone under the age fo 18.

2) Considering my (lower) age cut off is 25 I think I'd notice the difference between an 18 yr old and a 25-29 year old (physical build or mental outlook), so meeting them in a club would be of little conequence.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

Ie, even if I met them in a club, yes I'd turn downt he couple with the 18 yr old. As for the couple with the 27 yr old (who, according to their profile have been together 12 years, typo or not) I more than likely wouldn't).

If that makes me wrong, I can live with that.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

[Removed by poster at 04/01/10 10:39:40]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

it is interesting for me what "backstory" has to do with how people perceived others...

I was a cocky SOB when I was 14-15, thought I had the basketball world at my feet, was getting letters from universities asking if i was interested in going there, I was in with the wrong crowd, I have been shot at... I have been caught in the middle of a post office shoot-out and had a bullet graze my eye....

If I had stayed in New York I truely Believe I would have been dead by 16....

so I moved here.... that was then.. this is now... would people judge me on what I was.... or what they see now.....

when you are in a club... how much of what I have just told the world would you know about me if I just strolled up....

would it change how people look at me now???? has it.....

To get to where we are now, we all must have come from somewhere and gone thru many different things.....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex


"it is interesting for me what "backstory" has to do with how people perceived others...

I was a cocky SOB when I was 14-15, thought I had the basketball world at my feet, was getting letters from universities asking if i was interested in going there, I was in with the wrong crowd, I have been shot at... I have been caught in the middle of a post office shoot-out and had a bullet graze my eye....

If I had stayed in New York I truely Believe I would have been dead by 16....

so I moved here.... that was then.. this is now... would people judge me on what I was.... or what they see now.....

when you are in a club... how much of what I have just told the world would you know about me if I just strolled up....

would it change how people look at me now???? has it.....

To get to where we are now, we all must have come from somewhere and gone thru many different things....."

Very true, but saying that the here and now is what matters most. If I told someone I used to be a bible-bashing staunch Christian and didn't believe in pre-marital sex (after effects being am still unmarried, lol) should I be judged on that now, even though as equally as bad a fornicator as the next person? lol.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think we're going off at different tangents here. What people are or were doesn't matter to me when swinging, if I were looking for a life partner it might. When playing I still need to feel comfortable so I dont play with men young enough to be my son or old enough to be my father. Others have similiar and different criteria for choosing playmates. My youngest is 18 and by law an adult, doesn't mean I wouldn't have a LOT to say if a 40 year old showed an interest.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"Think we're going off at different tangents here. What people are or were doesn't matter to me when swinging, if I were looking for a life partner it might. When playing I still need to feel comfortable so I dont play with men young enough to be my son or old enough to be my father. Others have similiar and different criteria for choosing playmates. My youngest is 18 and by law an adult, doesn't mean I wouldn't have a LOT to say if a 40 year old showed an interest. "

I don't think it is going off on a tangent... the OP was fixated on something that happened 12 yrs ago... rather than on people now, so I was saying that I was a different person then to where I am now....

so I just wanted to see what puts people off in relation to swinging.....

if would take someone quite quick to work that out in a club setting for example.... so making judgements on people.....

like I said... sometimes you just can't help who you fall in love with....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont know the couple, I dont know their story, I dont know their families or their reaction to them coming together as a couple 12 years ago...

however, 12 years on....

I hope they are happy, I hope life gave them all they strived for..and continues to do so.

I ain't judging them ....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In fairness if 12 years together is correct (no reason to believe otherwise), that's a good innings together when you think most marriages would last half that if you are lucky.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The maths doesnt quite work out, Matt. We have found couples with quite large age gaps, i would guess that perhaps, they are 2 halves of seperate couples, that may just get together and swing, that is quite common on here.

If that is the case, we personally would steer clear, just us though.

Happy hunting x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just seen a profile with m 49 and f 27, they're tag line "been a couple for 12 years". This would make him 37 and her 15, a bit dodgy when it comes to the law. What do you fine members of the swinging community think and would you think twice about telling everyone about it?

okay.... I think the real question is this and lets play a game of devil's advocate.....

If this couple sent you a message saying that they wanted to play with you, and they were the nicest people in the world... would the fact they met when she was apparently 15 really stop you from having a good time....

really.......

honestly.......

seriously.......

"

100% yes, theres no way id meet a guy knowing he had at any point in the past had 'relatioships' with a child, and 15 is a child, dont look at it any other way, i dont care how 'grown up' some teenager girls are, i have 3 daughters i know full well how some 15 year olds think they 35 but at the end of the day they not, they are 15 and as an adult man in your 30s you should know better than to take advantage of a child who thinks shes an adult

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus


"Just seen a profile with m 49 and f 27, they're tag line "been a couple for 12 years". This would make him 37 and her 15, a bit dodgy when it comes to the law. What do you fine members of the swinging community think and would you think twice about telling everyone about it?

okay.... I think the real question is this and lets play a game of devil's advocate.....

If this couple sent you a message saying that they wanted to play with you, and they were the nicest people in the world... would the fact they met when she was apparently 15 really stop you from having a good time....

really.......

honestly.......

seriously.......

100% yes, theres no way id meet a guy knowing he had at any point in the past had 'relatioships' with a child, and 15 is a child, dont look at it any other way, i dont care how 'grown up' some teenager girls are, i have 3 daughters i know full well how some 15 year olds think they 35 but at the end of the day they not, they are 15 and as an adult man in your 30s you should know better than to take advantage of a child who thinks shes an adult"

I agree.

The fact that a man in is 30's 'took up' with a 15 year old CHILD, is creepy to me.

I'm glad they are still together and I'm glad it worked, but I wouldn't on the basis that I have had 15 year old daughters........... and what I would have been capable of if a 35 year old man had been sniffing round them, makes me shudder.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

30 and 16 is also wrong to us but its legal, it's probably a typo on the profile in question so we're not gonna cast assumptions at this end.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *obblybitsCouple
over a year ago

huddersfield

agree completely I just couldn't be with a man who had got with a girl at that age. If I didn't know I didn't know respect to them been together 12 yrs

but the statement in further up posts "you can't help who you fall in love with" do you honestly think pedophiles across the world say this to get out of it.

clam they couldn't help it they fell in love what utter shit! you shouldn't be looking in that age braking simple.

78yrs ago I was that 15yr old girl with a 34yr old he let me move in so he had sexon tap got me pregnant got me on drugs and left me..

maybe my judgment is clouded because of this but there is a law out there to protect our families and young and the poor little babies who are born in to situations like these.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *obblybitsCouple
over a year ago

huddersfield

this is the thing 16 and 30 is legal I think I would still feel iffy but onhear people round numbers up so 12yrs may even be 11 and a bit yrs you just don't know

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have to agree with many of the posts on here so far - there is a responsibility in being an adult and manipulating anyone under the age of 18 is irrisponsible and predatory - the age of consent may be 18 but if you are in your 30's why would you want to be with someone you have nothing in common with. Aside from that you have to question how these people met - We can't honestly think how unless it involved work, children's friends etc which are all dodgy and although some may say that swinging is immoral anyway but child abuse is a whole other plain of morality.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we met up a couple and there where a big age difference. they had been together for fifteen years so she would be fifteen when they met but we only discovered this after playing. he was 59 so it was a real bad thing. we found he was abuise to her so we would not be playing with them again becuase of this

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just been in chat and there is a 20 yr old who looks 18 with a 39 year old have to say it just has something fishy about it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"just been in chat and there is a 20 yr old who looks 18 with a 39 year old have to say it just has something fishy about it"

Whats fishy about it? according to your profile you will meet 18 year olds, whats the difference?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"just been in chat and there is a 20 yr old who looks 18 with a 39 year old have to say it just has something fishy about it

Whats fishy about it? according to your profile you will meet 18 year olds, whats the difference?"
Oh dear!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"just been in chat and there is a 20 yr old who looks 18 with a 39 year old have to say it just has something fishy about it

Whats fishy about it? according to your profile you will meet 18 year olds, whats the difference?"

classic! egg on face

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OK, I'll bite

lol if I had a 15 year old daughter I'd keep her away from 37 year old men

Why?

The reason I ask, according to your profile, you're willing to meet people old enough to be your parents oh, and there's not much difference between 15 and your current age.

why? i have a 15 year old daughter and if any guy of 37 was hanging around her id cut his knob off, being an adult in your 20s and meeting people old enough to be your parent is not the same as having some perv sniffing around a 15 year old, and if anyone on here thinks its ok for a man of 37 to have a relationship sexually or other wise with a 15 year old CHILD they seriously need to sort their morals out, because if it was my daughter id have the police of him quicker than he could get in the car to bugger off "

totally agree, speaking as a father of a young teen girl. police would be too good for him. better to send the boys around

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

If they met when she was 15, I don't see what the issue is or am I missing something.

My daughter is still with her first bf and she met him when she was 15.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

You CANNOT stop your daughter being friends with men her own age or older

Have none of you ever read Romeo and Juliet?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have none of you ever read Romeo and Juliet?

"

yep Juliet was 13 and Romeo's age is never stated but it was presumed he wasnt much older than her because it states

and i quote

"One Romeus, who was of race a Montague,

Upon whose tender chin, as yet, no manlike beard there grew,

Whose beauty and whose shape so far the rest did stain"

Plus is a story not a documentary!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

yes and the story states that the parents cannot and should not pressume

to say who your children can or cannot fall in love with

age is not boundary to love.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

age is not boundary to love.

"
Are you serious?!! That's the arguement paedophiles of both sexes use when molesting children and it matters not that most 15 year olds could probably give me a run for the money children they are. My youngest is 18 and an adult. I would be derelict in my duty as a parent if she rocked up with a 40 year old man in tow and I didnt voice my concerns about the age difference. I certainly wouldn't put on rose coloured specs and start looking around to buy a wedding hat! Personally I find it creepy when I see men in their 40s, 50s on here seeking 18 year olds to play with and that is what puts most people off I think.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

age is not boundary to love.

Are you serious?!! That's the arguement paedophiles of both sexes use when molesting children and it matters not that most 15 year olds could probably give me a run for the money children they are. My youngest is 18 and an adult. I would be derelict in my duty as a parent if she rocked up with a 40 year old man in tow and I didnt voice my concerns about the age difference. I certainly wouldn't put on rose coloured specs and start looking around to buy a wedding hat! Personally I find it creepy when I see men in their 40s, 50s on here seeking 18 year olds to play with and that is what puts most people off I think."

I'm in total agreement with you on this. Our parental instincts do not switch off when our children reach 18.

Jack

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i have 3 daughters and as a mother to them who are all uner 18 years old, but two of which are 15 and 17, they are still my responsibility and i am still legally their guardian, i can and do have the legal rights to do what every i see fit with my children if i feel its in their best interests till they are 18 years old, anyone who can say...you cant stop your child from doing this, that or the other at 15 years old are just lazy or bad parents, probably find it easier to just let them get on with it rather than have a fall out with their kid over something that has so be and should be stopped

how anyone can say its ok for men in their 30s to hang about with school children beggers belief and im shocked that any mother can see this as ok!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

I have 2 daughters

eldest is 19, she fell for her man aged 15, moved in with him aged 16, he was 5 years older.

I am neither a bad parent or a lazy parent and I resent Alison for thinking that.

You cannot stop your children loving who they love and thats that. Anyone who says so is fooling themselves.

Child molesters is entirely another issue.

This is an issue of age. and girls of 15 can and do fall in love, just a hundred years ago or so they were getting married ffs.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

[Removed by poster at 06/01/10 19:01:03]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

I'm not defending him either

I dont know them

But any parent ANY PARENT that thinks they could stop their child doing the same thing if they so choose is totally deluded

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have 2 daughters

eldest is 19, she fell for her man aged 15, moved in with him aged 16, he was 5 years older.

I am neither a bad parent or a lazy parent and I resent Alison for thinking that.

You cannot stop your children loving who they love and thats that. Anyone who says so is fooling themselves.

Child molesters is entirely another issue.

This is an issue of age. and girls of 15 can and do fall in love, just a hundred years ago or so they were getting married ffs.

"
There is a BIG difference between two teenagers and a child and an adult! I can only speak for myself, how others raise their children is their business. I think some parents are so desperate to be their childrens best friend they sell their children short by not being parents. It's a tough and thankless job but you have to protect your children from themselves. Thankfully my daughters never had 'daddy issues' and had boyfriends their own age. However, I couldn't/wouldn't just shrug my shoulders and say 'you cant control who your kids fall in love with' if my 15 year old daughter bought home a 40 year old man!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

I am not suggesting that you neglect your child nor shrug your shoulders

But experience with a friends daughter tells me that the more you shout dont means the more she shouts I will

So best try your best and welcome him home just as you would a lad of the same age

Of course I've never had to deal with it myself

but the girl has to learn to make her own judgements and mistakes

all you can realisticly do is offer a shoulder to cry on if and when it may all go wrong

you cannot tell your child who to love, no matter what you think you can do

and that my friends is the truth of it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

whilst you all snipe at my parental skills

my son is living with his wife and has 3 children all very loved up and secure thanks very muchly

and my eldest daughter lives with her first lover and has been for almost 5 yrs, getting married this yr and planning a family

so I dont do so bad a job I know!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have 2 daughters

eldest is 19, she fell for her man aged 15, moved in with him aged 16, he was 5 years older.

I am neither a bad parent or a lazy parent and I resent Alison for thinking that.

You cannot stop your children loving who they love and thats that. Anyone who says so is fooling themselves.

Child molesters is entirely another issue.

This is an issue of age. and girls of 15 can and do fall in love, just a hundred years ago or so they were getting married ffs.

"

ermmm actually i never singled you out, these forums are about opinions, we was talking about a 15 year old and a man in his 30s and as far as im concerned anyone mother who thinks its ok for a man that age to be hanging about with a 15 yewar old kid..is IN MY OPINION a bad mother, and im allowed my opinion as your allowed yours, i never singled anyone out i was talking about the situation as a whole, if you felt that comment was thrown at you then i cant help that

But while we are on the subject of kids and love, what the hell does a 15 year old know about love anyway? lets be homest at that age they fall for anyone who shows them any attention, have a new crush weekly, and thats who it should be at that age, 15 year olds dont know about love and shouldnt be in the possition where they are hanging about with men that age long enough to think they are anyway

kids are kids for such a short amount of time, they have the rest of their lifes to be adults, let them be kids while they are kids ffs and keep them away from men who think its ok to hang about with children

again only my opinion and nothing i have ever written was ever aimed at any one person

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

I dont agree

And you cannot stop a 15yr old falling for who the hell she wants

she will think its love

and clearly for the girl the OP mentioned it was love as they are still together 12 yrs along the long so that arguement failed miserably

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" However, I couldn't/wouldn't just shrug my shoulders and say 'you cant control who your kids fall in love with' if my 15 year old daughter bought home a 40 year old man! "

nor would i, id have the police on him and have an injunction order out on him if needed

So no maybe you cant stop them wanting to be with them but you can stop them being with them

And id sooner put up with her falling out with me for a bit than turn a blind eye to it for the quiet life

im sorry but thats just how i feel about the subject

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

The police are not interested believe me

My friends recently been in this situation

Much older man

Never so much as kissed her

But became very good friends

Hes single

Hes even a really lovely fella

Not on an register or offenders

but the police can do nothing as he has done nothing illegal

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am not suggesting that you neglect your child nor shrug your shoulders

But experience with a friends daughter tells me that the more you shout dont means the more she shouts I will

So best try your best and welcome him home just as you would a lad of the same age

Of course I've never had to deal with it myself

but the girl has to learn to make her own judgements and mistakes

all you can realisticly do is offer a shoulder to cry on if and when it may all go wrong

you cannot tell your child who to love, no matter what you think you can do

and that my friends is the truth of it

"
I agree with you to a degree. My eldest was dating a boy my ex-husband and I didnt like. I remember my ex telling me to say something. I replied no way! She'll learn soon enough. They were the same age, met at uni and we knew it wouldn't work as totally different cultures. It lasted longer than we thought, 6 years before she'd had enough. To this day she doesn't know we didnt like him and never will. As I said how people raise their kids has nothing to do with me but personally young love is one thing my young daughter and an old perv: something different altogether.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

That is the point I am trying to make

No matter how much you may disaprove, if there is no law broken, hes just her friend, then it it her choice

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

as a mum i think if i had a 15 yr old and she rolled up with a guy in his 30's i think i would have a lot to say on the matter ... i was 15 once and had loads of pervy older guys tryin their luck with the lolita thing it did nothin for me!! i was never into guys cause they had cars etc and due to be a late child had 3 much older brothers who probably put me off older guys for life!!

i think i would as a parent, speak with the guy see what his intentions were then have a quiet wee word in his ear ! just my opinion! xxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Come back to this after posting it a few days ago and it's interesting to see the way the comments have gone. After a few giving reasons to perhaps justify it we had the parents who were totally against it. With _ickmeallovers daughter the 5 year difference would seem Ok to me, after all I'm 21 and I'm still seen as a inexperienced youth by many. The fact I was getting at was the extreme age difference of an adult wanting to be with a child. Personally I'm glad to see that most people agree that children should be children and that us adults have a duty to look out for their best interests.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top