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is it wrong

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By *atalie and zoe OP   Couple
over a year ago

Manchester

is it wrong to invite more than one to a swinging club so we can pick the best for the job,

not knowing if we are definitely going to fuck any of them at all,

feels a little arrogant but its about chemistry. and dont know that till meet really hard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say invite as many as you like? Chances are if you invite 10,maybe 1 will show up if you're lucky

To be honest I'd just chat to folk, post when you're attending, and say you're happy to chat if you see them there. They'll either be going or not anyways

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By *tuvyMan
over a year ago

bedford

I’d invite as many as poss as some get stage fright, some don’t turn up and some might not be your cup of tea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Casting your net wide shouldn’t be a sin!

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By *ackandJill1Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

It depends on how you convey your invite, I make it very clear there are no guarantees of play even if we get on well. No expectations leads to no disappointments.

I have invited more than 1 single male to a club before but only on a social night knowing there would be others around I could introduce them to. To invite and discard is awkward for both parties and swinging is social and respectful so maybe explain beforehand and offer introductions to others if they're not for you.

Jill

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By *eckingHornedMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

It’s your choice is it not?

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London


"is it wrong to invite more than one to a swinging club so we can pick the best for the job,

not knowing if we are definitely going to fuck any of them at all,

feels a little arrogant but its about chemistry. and dont know that till meet really hard

"

I think expecting men today to pay to go to a club for what is effectively a social with a possibility of play is going to put a lot of people off.

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By *atalie and zoe OP   Couple
over a year ago

Manchester

not found that to be issue of people not turning up yet. prob just lucky in our meets so far

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it depends on what you’ve agreed

I’ve met people more at parties than clubs who have then told me they’ve invited multiple people (as people have mentioned, assuming most won’t show up)

But it’s a kick in the teeth when you’re genuine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We agreed to meet a guy at a club once to help him out on his first visit.

Last time we ever do that!

Clung like a wet blanket all evening and then got jealous when Dora played with a different guy.

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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

If you’re completely open and honest with all the people you invite about why you’re inviting them and what your intentions are then there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Were you playing on inviting them there under false pretences and lying to them by telling them they’re guaranteed sex if they turn up?

If you were planning on being completely honest and open with them all then I don’t see why you think that there’s anything wrong with it. You’re not forcing them to meet you and you’re not making promises that you won’t keep.

They might not want to have sex with you when they meet you anyway and as you’re meeting at a swingers club then if you do reject them they’ll probably have a good chance of finding someone there who won’t reject them.

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

Why bother inviting any at all? We've never had a problem in playing with as many single guys as we want in a club. The advantages are that there's no risk of a no-show as they're already there and you can see immediately whether there is a mutual attraction before committing to play. It does seem a little unfair inviting guys to pay a premium entrance fee into a club without any promise of action. Those already there have made that choice themselves.

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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Why bother inviting any at all? We've never had a problem in playing with as many single guys as we want in a club. The advantages are that there's no risk of a no-show as they're already there and you can see immediately whether there is a mutual attraction before committing to play. It does seem a little unfair inviting guys to pay a premium entrance fee into a club without any promise of action. Those already there have made that choice themselves."

Apologies for going off topic (it’s a ridiculous and fantastical topic anyway) but you 2 look absolutely incredible so I’m not surprised at all that you don’t have any problems playing with as many single men as you want to.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"is it wrong to invite more than one to a swinging club so we can pick the best for the job,

not knowing if we are definitely going to fuck any of them at all,

feels a little arrogant but its about chemistry. and dont know that till meet really hard

"

Are you being honest with the people you're inviting?

Personally if I was invited anywhere to be given the once over with a lot of others I wouldn't go, it would feel a bit like I was cattle at a market.

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds


"Why bother inviting any at all? We've never had a problem in playing with as many single guys as we want in a club. The advantages are that there's no risk of a no-show as they're already there and you can see immediately whether there is a mutual attraction before committing to play. It does seem a little unfair inviting guys to pay a premium entrance fee into a club without any promise of action. Those already there have made that choice themselves.

Apologies for going off topic (it’s a ridiculous and fantastical topic anyway) but you 2 look absolutely incredible so I’m not surprised at all that you don’t have any problems playing with as many single men as you want to. "

Thank you! That's very kind.

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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"is it wrong to invite more than one to a swinging club so we can pick the best for the job,

not knowing if we are definitely going to fuck any of them at all,

feels a little arrogant but its about chemistry. and dont know that till meet really hard

Are you being honest with the people you're inviting?

Personally if I was invited anywhere to be given the once over with a lot of others I wouldn't go, it would feel a bit like I was cattle at a market. "

To be honest, I’d be happy just to be in the running and knowing there’s a slim chance I’ll be chosen as the lucky one who gets to have some sex. I’d soon get over feeling like cattle in a market when the lovely sex happens. And if I don’t get chosen then I’ve had a night out haven’t I, it’s always good to get out the house.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"is it wrong to invite more than one to a swinging club so we can pick the best for the job,

not knowing if we are definitely going to fuck any of them at all,

feels a little arrogant but its about chemistry. and dont know that till meet really hard

Are you being honest with the people you're inviting?

Personally if I was invited anywhere to be given the once over with a lot of others I wouldn't go, it would feel a bit like I was cattle at a market.

To be honest, I’d be happy just to be in the running and knowing there’s a slim chance I’ll be chosen as the lucky one who gets to have some sex. I’d soon get over feeling like cattle in a market when the lovely sex happens. And if I don’t get chosen then I’ve had a night out haven’t I, it’s always good to get out the house. "

I can't tell if this is meant ironically or not.

What would you do if you were chosen but you felt the chemistry wasn't there?

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Behind the bike shed!


"is it wrong to invite more than one to a swinging club so we can pick the best for the job,

not knowing if we are definitely going to fuck any of them at all,

feels a little arrogant but its about chemistry. and dont know that till meet really hard

"

Depends how you do it.

If you say meet me here and I’m going to fuck you. Then you can’t line up lots.

If you see I’m going to this club meeting a few pesto chat too maybe more. I see no problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"is it wrong to invite more than one to a swinging club so we can pick the best for the job,

not knowing if we are definitely going to fuck any of them at all,

feels a little arrogant but its about chemistry. and dont know that till meet really hard

"

Not at all, nothing is certain apart from you both playing with each other

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"is it wrong to invite more than one to a swinging club so we can pick the best for the job,

not knowing if we are definitely going to fuck any of them at all,

feels a little arrogant but its about chemistry. and dont know that till meet really hard

"

A bit like speed dating and the men have to pay to get into the club ?

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up


"is it wrong to invite more than one to a swinging club so we can pick the best for the job,

not knowing if we are definitely going to fuck any of them at all,

feels a little arrogant but its about chemistry. and dont know that till meet really hard

"
I always tell peiolw that I'm going to the club. That they should come say hi...but nothing else is promised

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"

I always tell peiolw that I'm going to the club. That they should come say hi...but nothing else is promised "

That is a much better way than inviting various potential men to join you as OP has suggested

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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"is it wrong to invite more than one to a swinging club so we can pick the best for the job,

not knowing if we are definitely going to fuck any of them at all,

feels a little arrogant but its about chemistry. and dont know that till meet really hard

Are you being honest with the people you're inviting?

Personally if I was invited anywhere to be given the once over with a lot of others I wouldn't go, it would feel a bit like I was cattle at a market.

To be honest, I’d be happy just to be in the running and knowing there’s a slim chance I’ll be chosen as the lucky one who gets to have some sex. I’d soon get over feeling like cattle in a market when the lovely sex happens. And if I don’t get chosen then I’ve had a night out haven’t I, it’s always good to get out the house.

I can't tell if this is meant ironically or not.

What would you do if you were chosen but you felt the chemistry wasn't there?"

It was meant ironically, I thought that saying ‘the lovely sex’ would give it away.

But to answer your question, I’ve had one off sex with people I haven’t really got much chemistry with in the past so that wouldn’t stop me, it’s better when there’s chemistry but bearable without chemistry. Having no chemistry is fine with me but having negative vibes and feeling uncomfortable isn’t so if I didn’t like them for any reason I wouldn’t have the lovely sex with them.

So, to summarise…

Chemistry present = lovely sex

Chemistry not present but not getting any negative vibes either = lovely sex

Negative vibes = no lovely sex

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By *lynJMan
over a year ago

Morden

I'd arranged to meet a couple a while back and arrived at the appointed place and time (not at a club). The guy came over and introduced himself and then announced that they were expecting another guy to arrive too - just in case I hadn't turned up. The expectation was that, if we did both turn up, we would all go and play.

I stayed to finish my drink then made my excuses.

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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"is it wrong to invite more than one to a swinging club so we can pick the best for the job,

not knowing if we are definitely going to fuck any of them at all,

feels a little arrogant but its about chemistry. and dont know that till meet really hard

A bit like speed dating and the men have to pay to get into the club ?"

And there was no mention of a time limit and speed dating rarely leads to sex on the same night and speed dating has equal numbers of each sex, but other than that, yeah, a bit like speed dating

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By *urAlterEgosCouple
over a year ago

Barnsley


"Why bother inviting any at all? We've never had a problem in playing with as many single guys as we want in a club. The advantages are that there's no risk of a no-show as they're already there and you can see immediately whether there is a mutual attraction before committing to play. It does seem a little unfair inviting guys to pay a premium entrance fee into a club without any promise of action. Those already there have made that choice themselves."

This! We even say this on our profile. We don’t like to pre-arrange meeting anyone at a club. Impromptu fun on the night is how we roll. Saves any awkwardness.

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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"I'd arranged to meet a couple a while back and arrived at the appointed place and time (not at a club). The guy came over and introduced himself and then announced that they were expecting another guy to arrive too - just in case I hadn't turned up. The expectation was that, if we did both turn up, we would all go and play.

I stayed to finish my drink then made my excuses."

Why didn’t you stay to play?

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"I'd arranged to meet a couple a while back and arrived at the appointed place and time (not at a club). The guy came over and introduced himself and then announced that they were expecting another guy to arrive too - just in case I hadn't turned up. The expectation was that, if we did both turn up, we would all go and play.

I stayed to finish my drink then made my excuses."

Did you leave before the other guy turned up ?

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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"I'd arranged to meet a couple a while back and arrived at the appointed place and time (not at a club). The guy came over and introduced himself and then announced that they were expecting another guy to arrive too - just in case I hadn't turned up. The expectation was that, if we did both turn up, we would all go and play.

I stayed to finish my drink then made my excuses."

I bet they were glad they invited the other guy when you left then. Shows that it pays to always invite a backup option just in case your first option leaves when he finds out you’ve invited a backup option.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"is it wrong to invite more than one to a swinging club so we can pick the best for the job,

not knowing if we are definitely going to fuck any of them at all,

feels a little arrogant but its about chemistry. and dont know that till meet really hard

Are you being honest with the people you're inviting?

Personally if I was invited anywhere to be given the once over with a lot of others I wouldn't go, it would feel a bit like I was cattle at a market.

To be honest, I’d be happy just to be in the running and knowing there’s a slim chance I’ll be chosen as the lucky one who gets to have some sex. I’d soon get over feeling like cattle in a market when the lovely sex happens. And if I don’t get chosen then I’ve had a night out haven’t I, it’s always good to get out the house.

I can't tell if this is meant ironically or not.

What would you do if you were chosen but you felt the chemistry wasn't there?

It was meant ironically, I thought that saying ‘the lovely sex’ would give it away.

But to answer your question, I’ve had one off sex with people I haven’t really got much chemistry with in the past so that wouldn’t stop me, it’s better when there’s chemistry but bearable without chemistry. Having no chemistry is fine with me but having negative vibes and feeling uncomfortable isn’t so if I didn’t like them for any reason I wouldn’t have the lovely sex with them.

So, to summarise…

Chemistry present = lovely sex

Chemistry not present but not getting any negative vibes either = lovely sex

Negative vibes = no lovely sex"

It did kind of give it away but not enough for my literal mind

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow


"is it wrong to invite more than one to a swinging club so we can pick the best for the job,

not knowing if we are definitely going to fuck any of them at all,

feels a little arrogant but its about chemistry. and dont know that till meet really hard

"

Unclear if you mean single men or couples although seems to be have been taken as meaning single men. With my partner we invite lots of couples to join us place and see what happens. Best case can all play together Don't see any problem inviting men as long as clear about intentions.

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By *lynJMan
over a year ago

Morden


"I'd arranged to meet a couple a while back and arrived at the appointed place and time (not at a club). The guy came over and introduced himself and then announced that they were expecting another guy to arrive too - just in case I hadn't turned up. The expectation was that, if we did both turn up, we would all go and play.

I stayed to finish my drink then made my excuses.

I bet they were glad they invited the other guy when you left then. Shows that it pays to always invite a backup option just in case your first option leaves when he finds out you’ve invited a backup option. "

The other guy turned up before I left. He was someone I didn't know or expect to be there. I'd agreed to meet a couple, not 3 people. I don't know if they already knew each other or it was some sort of set up.

My sense of self preservation kicked in.

Also why would they not expect me to turn up when I'm verified by others?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I'd arranged to meet a couple a while back and arrived at the appointed place and time (not at a club). The guy came over and introduced himself and then announced that they were expecting another guy to arrive too - just in case I hadn't turned up. The expectation was that, if we did both turn up, we would all go and play.

I stayed to finish my drink then made my excuses.

I bet they were glad they invited the other guy when you left then. Shows that it pays to always invite a backup option just in case your first option leaves when he finds out you’ve invited a backup option.

The other guy turned up before I left. He was someone I didn't know or expect to be there. I'd agreed to meet a couple, not 3 people. I don't know if they already knew each other or it was some sort of set up.

My sense of self preservation kicked in.

Also why would they not expect me to turn up when I'm verified by others?"

Also why would they expect you to be ok with a scenario they hadn't agreed with you. Imagine putting a single woman in this position of you turning up with another couple as back up and expecting you all the play together

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By *lym4realCouple
over a year ago

plymouth

Seems weird to us the whole inviting people to a club bit ?? but everyone does it differently and we don't attend clubs but getting people to show up at meets anytime is bloody hard work and there should be no Guarantee of fun either at a club meet or so called other meet unless of course you state the opposite ?? as it is down the the chemistry etc etc and people seem to assume way to much nowdays and the people on our friends list doesn't mean we've played with them ?? just people we get on with and have a laugh with xx

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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"I'd arranged to meet a couple a while back and arrived at the appointed place and time (not at a club). The guy came over and introduced himself and then announced that they were expecting another guy to arrive too - just in case I hadn't turned up. The expectation was that, if we did both turn up, we would all go and play.

I stayed to finish my drink then made my excuses.

I bet they were glad they invited the other guy when you left then. Shows that it pays to always invite a backup option just in case your first option leaves when he finds out you’ve invited a backup option.

The other guy turned up before I left. He was someone I didn't know or expect to be there. I'd agreed to meet a couple, not 3 people. I don't know if they already knew each other or it was some sort of set up.

My sense of self preservation kicked in.

Also why would they not expect me to turn up when I'm verified by others?

Also why would they expect you to be ok with a scenario they hadn't agreed with you. Imagine putting a single woman in this position of you turning up with another couple as back up and expecting you all the play together "

Imagine turning up to a meet and the person doesn’t show but you didn’t organise a back up though, that’s got to be worse than having the meet leave because of the back up and being left with just the back up. It is unfair on the first option though so it’s really difficult to say what’s the best thing to do so that everyone’s happy, it’s a bit of a mine field really.

One solution could be to play with the first option for a few hours while the backup waits in the car and then switch the first option with the backup option and play with him for a few hours, no one gets left out that way and don’t have to play with anyone they weren’t expecting to be there.

Did you consider that as a possible solution?

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By *lynJMan
over a year ago

Morden


"I'd arranged to meet a couple a while back and arrived at the appointed place and time (not at a club). The guy came over and introduced himself and then announced that they were expecting another guy to arrive too - just in case I hadn't turned up. The expectation was that, if we did both turn up, we would all go and play.

I stayed to finish my drink then made my excuses.

I bet they were glad they invited the other guy when you left then. Shows that it pays to always invite a backup option just in case your first option leaves when he finds out you’ve invited a backup option.

The other guy turned up before I left. He was someone I didn't know or expect to be there. I'd agreed to meet a couple, not 3 people. I don't know if they already knew each other or it was some sort of set up.

My sense of self preservation kicked in.

Also why would they not expect me to turn up when I'm verified by others?

Also why would they expect you to be ok with a scenario they hadn't agreed with you. Imagine putting a single woman in this position of you turning up with another couple as back up and expecting you all the play together

Imagine turning up to a meet and the person doesn’t show but you didn’t organise a back up though, that’s got to be worse than having the meet leave because of the back up and being left with just the back up. It is unfair on the first option though so it’s really difficult to say what’s the best thing to do so that everyone’s happy, it’s a bit of a mine field really.

One solution could be to play with the first option for a few hours while the backup waits in the car and then switch the first option with the backup option and play with him for a few hours, no one gets left out that way and don’t have to play with anyone they weren’t expecting to be there.

Did you consider that as a possible solution?"

No, because they made it clear it would be everyone together.

If you want a backup, arrange it so you don't overlap the first one.

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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"I'd arranged to meet a couple a while back and arrived at the appointed place and time (not at a club). The guy came over and introduced himself and then announced that they were expecting another guy to arrive too - just in case I hadn't turned up. The expectation was that, if we did both turn up, we would all go and play.

I stayed to finish my drink then made my excuses.

I bet they were glad they invited the other guy when you left then. Shows that it pays to always invite a backup option just in case your first option leaves when he finds out you’ve invited a backup option.

The other guy turned up before I left. He was someone I didn't know or expect to be there. I'd agreed to meet a couple, not 3 people. I don't know if they already knew each other or it was some sort of set up.

My sense of self preservation kicked in.

Also why would they not expect me to turn up when I'm verified by others?

Also why would they expect you to be ok with a scenario they hadn't agreed with you. Imagine putting a single woman in this position of you turning up with another couple as back up and expecting you all the play together

Imagine turning up to a meet and the person doesn’t show but you didn’t organise a back up though, that’s got to be worse than having the meet leave because of the back up and being left with just the back up. It is unfair on the first option though so it’s really difficult to say what’s the best thing to do so that everyone’s happy, it’s a bit of a mine field really.

One solution could be to play with the first option for a few hours while the backup waits in the car and then switch the first option with the backup option and play with him for a few hours, no one gets left out that way and don’t have to play with anyone they weren’t expecting to be there.

Did you consider that as a possible solution?

No, because they made it clear it would be everyone together.

If you want a backup, arrange it so you don't overlap the first one."

Yeah, that’s an even better solution, I think we’ve solved it then. Well done everyone, I knew we’d get there in the end.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Nobody likes to feel they are making up numbers especially if they are paying club prices. If you are unsure of them before hand why not have a social so you know if you like them as it would save embarrassment, time and expense?

If they know they are going to be 1 of 5 and you picking the best, it's on them but I doubt you'd like a guy to do the same. i.e. Post a meet, have 3 or 4 couples turn up at his house then turn everyone away bar one as they have connection (or are the most attractive). Peoples need honesty and don't need their time wasting.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

It's not wrong if you're being totally transparent with all ,but it wont appeal to all either I wouldnt think.

I wouldnt like to be a back up or option.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan
over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"is it wrong to invite more than one to a swinging club so we can pick the best for the job,

not knowing if we are definitely going to fuck any of them at all,

feels a little arrogant but its about chemistry. and dont know that till meet really hard

"

As long as your open n honest about it and don't blag anyone

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