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Just bookmarking for now, I'll be back when I can stay awake for long enough  | |||
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"Well I started my adhd meds today, only 18mg currently, But sleep was fucky over weekend think I slept like 14-15h last night" What are you trying? They started me on Concerta, but I couldn't sleep and after a few days started to get chest pains. Then they gave me standard (non time release) ritalin, but the crash was so bad I wanted to die! Then they gave me another non-stimulant (cannot recall name) but that just made me nauseous. I didn't want to take elvanse as I used to abuse speed when I was a teenager -- I might still try it though but am very apprehensive. Apparently the aspie mind doesn't take too well to ADHD meds 
So I gave up and now rely on strong coffee! | |||
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"Well I started my adhd meds today, only 18mg currently, But sleep was fucky over weekend think I slept like 14-15h last night What are you trying? They started me on Concerta, but I couldn't sleep and after a few days started to get chest pains. Then they gave me standard (non time release) ritalin, but the crash was so bad I wanted to die! Then they gave me another non-stimulant (cannot recall name) but that just made me nauseous. I didn't want to take elvanse as I used to abuse speed when I was a teenager -- I might still try it though but am very apprehensive. Apparently the aspie mind doesn't take too well to ADHD meds
So I gave up and now rely on strong coffee! "Concertante xl currently.... I had some work when younger | |||
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"Well I started my adhd meds today, only 18mg currently, But sleep was fucky over weekend think I slept like 14-15h last night" Hope it settles down for you, that sounds far from ideal. | |||
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"I haven't been overly active on the last few threads bit still here and observing. I'm doing okay, had a departmental team building day yesterday, which is my idea of hell so I reached out beforehand and got so much support "I'm not going to pretend to be am expert on Autism so you tell me what yiu need and we'll do it", fucking hell that's how you do inclusion! So what should have been a really stressful day was actually quite enjoyable. It's also weird that knowing support is available means I feel I need less support." That's good news, glad they are supporting you especially after everything you've been through. | |||
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"So this is my first time posting here , I don’t know if I’m welcome or not. I’m in no way diagnosed and I’m reluctant to speak to my GP about it as I’m not sure what difference it would make to my life if I was diagnosed but I’m beginning to understand more about myself as time goes by. One reason I’m posting here today is that I’ve just been to a work seminar today discussing an area we call Non Technical Skills. As part of this, we were looking into thought processes, perception and how observations turn into short and long term memories and throughout the entire day all I could think was “that’s not how my mind works”. They went through various group work to show how you don’t perceive things that aren’t important and that the brain filters out non essential information and in each scenario you were supposed to realise “oh yeah, there’s this noise or this smell or this thing I’d not seen before” but each time they were all things I’d been acutely aware of throughout. On it’s own of course, it’s just a small thing but it’s just the latest small thing in a long line of small things that have started to make me think I maybe somewhat “wonky”. For those how have been diagnosed later in life, can I ask what the benefits have been to you? Has it made much difference in your life or helped you at all? " Hi
Thanks for sharing! I think we're quite an inclusive bunch, if we can help in anyway we will try.
I'm not sure what the others think but the process of getting a diagnosis can be hard work.
I think it can help with improved sense of self, which is obviously important. If people are struggling in life, maybe they feel different and can't fit in, or just don't relate to others, particularly if there's persistent anxiety and depression issues what is there to lose? Sometimes we need that piece of paper as proof to get support, you never know when you might hit a bump in the road and might need it.
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nice to find this thread on here! I am AuDHD
Seriously struggling with replying to messages on here. It makes me seems so rude when I’m not. I find this place so overwhelming at times  | |||
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"Hello everyone nice to find this thread on here! I am AuDHD
Seriously struggling with replying to messages on here. It makes me seems so rude when I’m not. I find this place so overwhelming at times "You can maybe try a couple of things - change your ‘looking for’ age to 98-99 - it stops everyone messaging. Message filters are great too - mine are maxed out to block newbies, unverified and non-site supporters. Hiding your profile can be great, sometimes, too | |||
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"Well I started my adhd meds today, only 18mg currently, But sleep was fucky over weekend think I slept like 14-15h last night Hope it settles down for you, that sounds far from ideal. " I wasn't on them when I slept like that , started Monday have not been getting to sleep till like 2am | |||
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I just stumbled across this thread and it looks like it might be super helpful! | |||
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"Hello everyone nice to find this thread on here! I am AuDHD
Seriously struggling with replying to messages on here. It makes me seems so rude when I’m not. I find this place so overwhelming at times
You can maybe try a couple of things - change your ‘looking for’ age to 98-99 - it stops everyone messaging.
Message filters are great too - mine are maxed out to block newbies, unverified and non-site supporters.
Hiding your profile can be great, sometimes, too "Thank you!! I think I shall be maxing out the filters  | |||
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"Hey! So I'm Autistic and possibly ADHD (was hard enough getting the first diagnosis nevermind starting all that again) and the Mr is possibly both and we are new to swinging and finding the hardest part is... Actually starting conversations with people either on here or in person at Clubs... Not very helpful when the first step to swinging is -you know- chatting
I just stumbled across this thread and it looks like it might be super helpful! "Yup ... know this pain of the initial means to meets is conversation and being able to smooth talk someone | |||
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"Hello everyone nice to find this thread on here! I am AuDHD
Seriously struggling with replying to messages on here. It makes me seems so rude when I’m not. I find this place so overwhelming at times "You're not rude. Use your filters; it can make such a difference to your enjoyment on here. Sometimes you don't have the headspace to reply and that's okay - it doesn't make you an awful person. When I get like that I just hide my profile and give myself time. Less pressure to reply etc that way. | |||
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"I don't think anyone else has started a new thread yet! Threads 1-12 are out there somewhere. Things seem to have slowed down lately -- how are you all doing?
"Trying not to implode or explode. Got stood up today by a Fab guy and I'm tried of trying to connect with him so He's going to be deleted and blocked. I just don't have the energy anymore for people who make zero effort. I'm coming off mood stabalisers and drinking 3 litres of water and PMS-ing. FML. I was thinking of going to the Hellfire club tonight but I think I'm going to stay home and baby myself. I did well despite all these annoying challenges this week. | |||
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"Well I started my adhd meds today, only 18mg currently, But sleep was fucky over weekend think I slept like 14-15h last night" Hugs. | |||
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"Well I started my adhd meds today, only 18mg currently, But sleep was fucky over weekend think I slept like 14-15h last night What are you trying? They started me on Concerta, but I couldn't sleep and after a few days started to get chest pains. Then they gave me standard (non time release) ritalin, but the crash was so bad I wanted to die! Then they gave me another non-stimulant (cannot recall name) but that just made me nauseous. I didn't want to take elvanse as I used to abuse speed when I was a teenager -- I might still try it though but am very apprehensive. Apparently the aspie mind doesn't take too well to ADHD meds
So I gave up and now rely on strong coffee! "I'm coming off meds and I was told only to have one caffeine drink a day....getting old sucks. Lol! | |||
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"Hello everyone nice to find this thread on here! I am AuDHD
Seriously struggling with replying to messages on here. It makes me seems so rude when I’m not. I find this place so overwhelming at times "It overwhelming for neurodivergents and neurotypicals. That's why I had to block all men. | |||
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"Hey! So I'm Autistic and possibly ADHD (was hard enough getting the first diagnosis nevermind starting all that again) and the Mr is possibly both and we are new to swinging and finding the hardest part is... Actually starting conversations with people either on here or in person at Clubs... Not very helpful when the first step to swinging is -you know- chatting
I just stumbled across this thread and it looks like it might be super helpful! "I feel that. it took me from age 18-32 for the NHS to diagnose me with BPD/EUPD and I think they only diagnosed me because I was hospitalized after a serious suicide attempt. And then from age 32 to age 40 to complete the recommended intensive therapy. The thought of going through all of that again for autism/adhd/sensory processing non-specific is draining in addition to pursuing chronic fatigue and complex PTSD diagnosis and treatment. | |||
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"Hey! So I'm Autistic and possibly ADHD (was hard enough getting the first diagnosis nevermind starting all that again) and the Mr is possibly both and we are new to swinging and finding the hardest part is... Actually starting conversations with people either on here or in person at Clubs... Not very helpful when the first step to swinging is -you know- chatting
I just stumbled across this thread and it looks like it might be super helpful! "I had to learn to chat. Before I would just run away and hide. | |||
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"I haven't been overly active on the last few threads bit still here and observing. I'm doing okay, had a departmental team building day yesterday, which is my idea of hell so I reached out beforehand and got so much support "I'm not going to pretend to be am expert on Autism so you tell me what yiu need and we'll do it", fucking hell that's how you do inclusion! So what should have been a really stressful day was actually quite enjoyable. It's also weird that knowing support is available means I feel I need less support. That's good news, glad they are supporting you especially after everything you've been through. "Thank you. The contrast is pretty extreme. Funnily enough I'm coping a lot better working in a supportive environment. I'm also trying to process what seems to be ever worsening sensory issues, or specifically sensory overload. So it's nit all good news | |||
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"For those how have been diagnosed later in life, can I ask what the benefits have been to you? Has it made much difference in your life or helped you at all? " It's changed my life. I spent 50 years trying to figure out why I couldn't do things most people do, not coping with things most people cope with. And now I understand. And it's a tough journey and things are still difficult but fucking hell understanding why that is now makes a massive difference. | |||
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"Hey! So I'm Autistic and possibly ADHD (was hard enough getting the first diagnosis nevermind starting all that again) and the Mr is possibly both and we are new to swinging and finding the hardest part is... Actually starting conversations with people either on here or in person at Clubs... Not very helpful when the first step to swinging is -you know- chatting
I just stumbled across this thread and it looks like it might be super helpful! "Was going to post something similar but, well, couldn't find the words. At least I feel a little better knowing I'm not the only one struggling with first messages and opening conversation in clubs. I dont know how it happens for everyone else but I end up just overthinking the whole thing, which then makes me stupidly anxious (or the other way round) and something that should be natural turns into something so generic, formilulaic and safe, for fear of offending someone, embarrassing myself or crossing a line that I cant judge where it is because no one's told me! Sorry this is a bit of a rant but it really frustrates me because once conversation is going the better sides of it all come out and I'm quick witted, smart and funny ( allegedly) but oh my god that initial contact with people. It's a real struggle. And it's sort of putting me off going back clubs because what if what if what if. | |||
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#pedantic | |||
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"Does anyone have any advice for someone who is in a relationship with someone with ADHD? I’m really struggling with my partner. At times I feel as if I’m their whole world and at others I feel I don’t exist. It’s starting to wear me down. I’m trying to be understanding and patient but at times it can be so hurtful and bewildering I’m starting to think I’m losing my mind. Talking about it doesn’t make any difference as my partner either reverts immediately back to their unthought full ways or tries to over compensate which feels forced and unnatural. This then annoys me more and makes me uncomfortable withdrawing more. Does anyone have any tips on how to make a point and for my partner to register that point and realise it is important to me. " If you would consider couples therapy maybe check out Headstuff ADHD Therapy. All their therapists are diagnosed or self identified neurodivergent and are waiting for assessment. The therapists have profiles on the website so you can have a browse through to see who you will most likely click with. They offer all sorts of therapy and coaching. Hope things work out for you both  | |||
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"I haven't been overly active on the last few threads bit still here and observing. I'm doing okay, had a departmental team building day yesterday, which is my idea of hell so I reached out beforehand and got so much support "I'm not going to pretend to be am expert on Autism so you tell me what yiu need and we'll do it", fucking hell that's how you do inclusion! So what should have been a really stressful day was actually quite enjoyable. It's also weird that knowing support is available means I feel I need less support. That's good news, glad they are supporting you especially after everything you've been through.
Thank you. The contrast is pretty extreme. Funnily enough I'm coping a lot better working in a supportive environment.
I'm also trying to process what seems to be ever worsening sensory issues, or specifically sensory overload. So it's nit all good news"Oh no I'm assuming it's something out of your control causing you the problems? | |||
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"I don't understand the term AuDHD -- like, I get what it's supposed to mean, but 'Autistic Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder' just isn't a thing, so the initials don't work.
#pedantic " oh absolutely! | |||
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"Does anyone have any advice for someone who is in a relationship with someone with ADHD? " My diagnosis helped me to realise why I was so avoidant in relationships. For me, I need lots of space, and to be allowed to live my life as I see fit. I once heard someone say that "the energy of ADHD says 'get the hell out of my business'", and to some extent this is true -- if I'm allowed to do my own thing I'm happy, if I feel obligated to do anything I get resentful. My only advice is to remember that it isn't personal, that whoever he is in a relationship with is going to have similar issues -- you won't be able to change him, and you'll wear yourself out trying. It's the way he is wired -- it's pathological and incurable -- and just because he seems inattentive, avoidant, distant or focused elsewhere, it does not mean he doesn't love or appreciate you, he just expresses it in a different way to how you like it. | |||
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"Hello everyone nice to find this thread on here! I am AuDHD
Seriously struggling with replying to messages on here. It makes me seems so rude when I’m not. I find this place so overwhelming at times
It overwhelming for neurodivergents and neurotypicals. That's why I had to block all men."It really is. When I do speak to someone I find it so hard to connect, it’s only happened a few times on here. Feeling like a bit of an alien today  | |||
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"I don't understand the term AuDHD -- like, I get what it's supposed to mean, but 'Autistic Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder' just isn't a thing, so the initials don't work.
#pedantic "I just used it as I’ve seen it frequently on Facebook pages as a way to shorten the 2. I believe it may be a new term | |||
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"Does anyone have any advice for someone who is in a relationship with someone with ADHD? My diagnosis helped me to realise why I was so avoidant in relationships. For me, I need lots of space, and to be allowed to live my life as I see fit. I once heard someone say that "the energy of ADHD says 'get the hell out of my business'", and to some extent this is true -- if I'm allowed to do my own thing I'm happy, if I feel obligated to do anything I get resentful. My only advice is to remember that it isn't personal, that whoever he is in a relationship with is going to have similar issues -- you won't be able to change him, and you'll wear yourself out trying. It's the way he is wired -- it's pathological and incurable -- and just because he seems inattentive, avoidant, distant or focused elsewhere, it does not mean he doesn't love or appreciate you, he just expresses it in a different way to how you like it. " To the OP - you may also be interested to follow adhd_love_ on insta, to follow a NT/ND couples point of view | |||
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"I don't understand the term AuDHD -- like, I get what it's supposed to mean, but 'Autistic Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder' just isn't a thing, so the initials don't work.
#pedantic
I just used it as I’ve seen it frequently on Facebook pages as a way to shorten the 2. I believe it may be a new term "Ive seen this a lot on social media, apparently up to 80% of autistic people have adhd, though there are a lot more adhd people than autistic people. Its useful to have a way to recognise other people who are the same, AuDHD, as theres a lot thats true for you, but not true for people who are only one or the other. | |||
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x | |||
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"I just used it as I’ve seen it frequently on Facebook pages as a way to shorten the 2. I believe it may be a new term "God I hope it's not a thing -- I'm happy saying I've got Asperger's with ADHD. 'Autie' annoys me too -- aspie is OK, but autie just sounds so cringe. :D | |||
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"I just used it as I’ve seen it frequently on Facebook pages as a way to shorten the 2. I believe it may be a new term
God I hope it's not a thing -- I'm happy saying I've got Asperger's with ADHD.
'Autie' annoys me too -- aspie is OK, but autie just sounds so cringe. :D"Autie makes me think of auntie | |||
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"Gaaaaaaaaagh help Wonky brain has made me miss a wonderful social with a lovely forumite recently and now got the chance of another but I am getting worse as I get older and believe I can’t do the small talk anymore. Anyone else feels that they regress socially? " Hi
What changed to make you think you can't do small talk anymore?
I'd like to know if this is a common issue as ND people get older.
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"Heyy neurodivergent peeps x"Hi knobin how you doing? | |||
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"I’m just wondering how common imposter syndrome is amongst ND people? " In what sense? Certainly lots of people I know have questioned their diagnosis if that's what yiu mean? | |||
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"I haven't been overly active on the last few threads bit still here and observing. I'm doing okay, had a departmental team building day yesterday, which is my idea of hell so I reached out beforehand and got so much support "I'm not going to pretend to be am expert on Autism so you tell me what yiu need and we'll do it", fucking hell that's how you do inclusion! So what should have been a really stressful day was actually quite enjoyable. It's also weird that knowing support is available means I feel I need less support. That's good news, glad they are supporting you especially after everything you've been through.
Thank you. The contrast is pretty extreme. Funnily enough I'm coping a lot better working in a supportive environment.
I'm also trying to process what seems to be ever worsening sensory issues, or specifically sensory overload. So it's nit all good news
Oh no I'm assuming it's something out of your control causing you the problems? "I'm not sure whether I'm just becoming more aware of it now I'm understanding my diagnosis more and a lot of last years chaos has subsided. I'm finding noises and particularly atmospheres where there's a lot of adrenalin quickly overwhelming while other things I'm fine with. It's just draining and I haven't got a handle on it yet but hopefully I will | |||
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"Gaaaaaaaaagh help Wonky brain has made me miss a wonderful social with a lovely forumite recently and now got the chance of another but I am getting worse as I get older and believe I can’t do the small talk anymore. Anyone else feels that they regress socially? Hi
What changed to make you think you can't do small talk anymore?
I'd like to know if this is a common issue as ND people get older.
"I don’t know. I’m at a time of my life where work pressure is really taking hold. I challenged myself to move up and find it exhausting. Might be exhausted. So lack the motivation to try anymore. | |||
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"I’m just wondering how common imposter syndrome is amongst ND people? In what sense? Certainly lots of people I know have questioned their diagnosis if that's what yiu mean?" I mean just in general with things in life… For example, when people think you’re attractive or have done something well, you think you’ve conned or tricked them into believing it | |||
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"Gaaaaaaaaagh help Wonky brain has made me miss a wonderful social with a lovely forumite recently and now got the chance of another but I am getting worse as I get older and believe I can’t do the small talk anymore. Anyone else feels that they regress socially? Hi
What changed to make you think you can't do small talk anymore?
I'd like to know if this is a common issue as ND people get older.
I don’t know. I’m at a time of my life where work pressure is really taking hold. I challenged myself to move up and find it exhausting.
Might be exhausted. So lack the motivation to try anymore. "Sounds potentially like burn out. Do you feel like you go in cycles of overcommitting yourself and proving your worth, only to then become irritable and overwhelmed and completely shut down? It might be time to start adding more sensory things, into your routine, rather than people and commitments. Hope you’re taking care of yourself x | |||
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"I haven't been overly active on the last few threads bit still here and observing. I'm doing okay, had a departmental team building day yesterday, which is my idea of hell so I reached out beforehand and got so much support "I'm not going to pretend to be am expert on Autism so you tell me what yiu need and we'll do it", fucking hell that's how you do inclusion! So what should have been a really stressful day was actually quite enjoyable. It's also weird that knowing support is available means I feel I need less support. That's good news, glad they are supporting you especially after everything you've been through.
Thank you. The contrast is pretty extreme. Funnily enough I'm coping a lot better working in a supportive environment.
I'm also trying to process what seems to be ever worsening sensory issues, or specifically sensory overload. So it's nit all good news
Oh no I'm assuming it's something out of your control causing you the problems?
I'm not sure whether I'm just becoming more aware of it now I'm understanding my diagnosis more and a lot of last years chaos has subsided.
I'm finding noises and particularly atmospheres where there's a lot of adrenalin quickly overwhelming while other things I'm fine with. It's just draining and I haven't got a handle on it yet but hopefully I will "Do you use anything that helps with noise cancellation? I'm considering ordering loop ear plugs, they will only be helpful for part of my job but I suppose it's better than nothing. | |||
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"In that awful place of wanting to be on dating sites to find a relationship but the act of being on them and the rejection thing makes my mental health shit, I do not have the confidence nor the skills or group to go out and meet people in "natrual" environments Also apparent adhd tablets only have further increased my sex drive-_-" That does sound rubbish! Dating isn't easy, I hope you manage to find what you're looking for. I know you've said how you struggle with your sex drive, I'd imagine it's the last thing you need. | |||
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"Heyy neurodivergent peeps x
Hi knobin how you doing? "I'm doing okay thankyouu Back to having my naughty little masturbation sessions again heh.
How have you been?? x | |||
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"Heyy neurodivergent peeps x
Hi knobin how you doing?
I'm doing okay thankyouu Back to having my naughty little masturbation sessions again heh.
How have you been?? x"Haha how long did you last!? Did find it beneficial? My health is kicking my ass lately. Rod hasn't been well either, we're good for nothing ha. | |||
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"Hey male half here and neurodivergent " Hi
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"In that awful place of wanting to be on dating sites to find a relationship but the act of being on them and the rejection thing makes my mental health shit, I do not have the confidence nor the skills or group to go out and meet people in "natrual" environments Also apparent adhd tablets only have further increased my sex drive-_- That does sound rubbish! Dating isn't easy, I hope you manage to find what you're looking for. I know you've said how you struggle with your sex drive, I'd imagine it's the last thing you need." Its a bit easier now that I have a pretty usual fwb / sub who I seem normally at least once a week. However she is allready in a relationship But yeah the relationships suck It's all fun having sex but like I want someoneone to bond with | |||
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Importantly, you had to have a computer, and you had to have a bit of skill to actually get online.
This was years before I was officially diagnosed -- but looking back to my history with tech, it's definitely a skill that a lot of us have. I wouldn't have heard the term 'aspie' if it wasn't for the WWW.
I had two reasonably successful forums, both with memberships in the thousands -- and while there were fights, people largely got along quite well; not like today with constant arguing and fighting that seems to infest social media.
It's never been the same since we let the neurotypicals in.  | |||
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"I haven't been overly active on the last few threads bit still here and observing. I'm doing okay, had a departmental team building day yesterday, which is my idea of hell so I reached out beforehand and got so much support "I'm not going to pretend to be am expert on Autism so you tell me what yiu need and we'll do it", fucking hell that's how you do inclusion! So what should have been a really stressful day was actually quite enjoyable. It's also weird that knowing support is available means I feel I need less support. That's good news, glad they are supporting you especially after everything you've been through.
Thank you. The contrast is pretty extreme. Funnily enough I'm coping a lot better working in a supportive environment.
I'm also trying to process what seems to be ever worsening sensory issues, or specifically sensory overload. So it's nit all good news"I just say a post on social media on autistic burnout recovery so look into that. It's a thing. I'm having a burnout/overload/fuck off week. Lol! In addition to the sensory/autistic stuff/ I'm on my period and reducing my BPD medication....the workplace flooded and someone from one of my mental health groups died.....woosahhhh!!! yeah haven't left the house 4 days.... | |||
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"Hey! So I'm Autistic and possibly ADHD (was hard enough getting the first diagnosis nevermind starting all that again) and the Mr is possibly both and we are new to swinging and finding the hardest part is... Actually starting conversations with people either on here or in person at Clubs... Not very helpful when the first step to swinging is -you know- chatting
I just stumbled across this thread and it looks like it might be super helpful!
Was going to post something similar but, well, couldn't find the words. At least I feel a little better knowing I'm not the only one struggling with first messages and opening conversation in clubs.
I dont know how it happens for everyone else but I end up just overthinking the whole thing, which then makes me stupidly anxious (or the other way round) and something that should be natural turns into something so generic, formilulaic and safe, for fear of offending someone, embarrassing myself or crossing a line that I cant judge where it is because no one's told me!
Sorry this is a bit of a rant but it really frustrates me because once conversation is going the better sides of it all come out and I'm quick witted, smart and funny ( allegedly) but oh my god that initial contact with people. It's a real struggle. And it's sort of putting me off going back clubs because what if what if what if. "Try to find a club buddy. I'm a bit of a club buddy. I go to a social in a club with a guy who is a bit more autistic presenting. Meanwhile, I'm an expert masker. Last time I saw him, I dragged him off to watch some dungeon play and gave him a hug. Then another guy I had been chatting to came in with another lady. She started kissing the guy I was hugging! But then she tried to kiss me...yup flee trigger. I'm straight. I was able to dodge and relay her focus back to the men and not completely leg it out of the club. The other guy I was chatting to somehow dipped out too and then the guy I was hugging and the lady ended up in the cage bed in the dungeon. I went to get a drink and saw him later. He said hey Mel, I made a new friend!! Grinning. I said great!! So I designate myself Aspie Wing Woman.
One of my first times to the Swingers club alone, I nearly had an anxiety attack in the Uber. luckily I was able to breathe my way out of it and the staff at the club were really nice to me. | |||
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"I don't understand the term AuDHD -- like, I get what it's supposed to mean, but 'Autistic Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder' just isn't a thing, so the initials don't work.
#pedantic "I just assume that's how people who have it want to define it. BPD works for me. Some people use EUPD. Some people use EID. they mean the same diagnosis. I say I have autistic traits because I'm still bricking it over getting an official diagnosis. | |||
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"I just assume that's how people who have it want to define it." I'm formally diagnosed with both, plus dyspraxia. I'm way to pedantic to work with clunky acronyms. | |||
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"Does anyone have any advice for someone who is in a relationship with someone with ADHD? I’m really struggling with my partner. At times I feel as if I’m their whole world and at others I feel I don’t exist. It’s starting to wear me down. I’m trying to be understanding and patient but at times it can be so hurtful and bewildering I’m starting to think I’m losing my mind. Talking about it doesn’t make any difference as my partner either reverts immediately back to their unthought full ways or tries to over compensate which feels forced and unnatural. This then annoys me more and makes me uncomfortable withdrawing more. Does anyone have any tips on how to make a point and for my partner to register that point and realise it is important to me. " Oh dear and hugs. 1. Carer burnout is a thing! It happens to those who are carers, family, friends and life partners of neurodivergent and those with physical disability and learning disabilities. 2. this is not your fault or your partners fault. No one is to blame. 3. What self-care do you set for yourself? 4. What hard and soft boundaries do you set for your partner with follow through? My father is an alcoholic but he knows that if he distresses me while d*unk, I'm leaving the house. No discussion. That is my hard boundary. My soft boundary is that I will have a drink with him. Just one. 4. If you feel like you are losing your mind..um as an official crazy person, my un-expert opinion is that you probably are. A trip to your GP maybe needed...or I know my GP is ill-equip to help me so I joined better help online and mental health support groups. Unfortunately Fab is not a mental health support group. we try but it's not something the site approves of. 5. You are in charge of your happiness. Unfortunately not your partner. Your partner had a disorder that makes it impossible sometimes to acknowledge and do the things that are important to you. Only you can decide if the thing is more important than the relationship to you. 6. You can make a point but unfortunately due to the way a neurodivergent brain works sometimes, it will never register and no amount of medication, therapy and coping strategies will change that. We can only do the best we can and only focus on what we can control. My brain forgets things. It's infuriating. for about 5 seconds because I know that I can't change it and it's probably going to get worse as I get older. So now I will keep checking the fridge when I can't find my mobile. 7. Everything you feel is valid because you are only human and it's normal to feel rejected. In DBT, we have a phrase called "turning the mind". It stems from Buddhism acceptance doctrine. When I feel rejected/upset/distressed, I turn my mind to something else that distracts me from the rejection and lessens the discomfort. Please look after yourself. As they say you can't pour from an empty cup. | |||
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"Gaaaaaaaaagh help Wonky brain has made me miss a wonderful social with a lovely forumite recently and now got the chance of another but I am getting worse as I get older and believe I can’t do the small talk anymore. Anyone else feels that they regress socially? " Yes....I'm now more aware of the ups and downs. Having a routine helps but when I need a break I give myself a break! My default is to avoid people and things. I haven't left the house in 4 days or seen a person face to face ( had some online video calls though)....I have work tomorrow so I will have to go out and that acts as a social reset. | |||
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"Heyy neurodivergent peeps x"Hey!! | |||
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"I just used it as I’ve seen it frequently on Facebook pages as a way to shorten the 2. I believe it may be a new term
God I hope it's not a thing -- I'm happy saying I've got Asperger's with ADHD.
'Autie' annoys me too -- aspie is OK, but autie just sounds so cringe. :D"Meh everything is cringe with me so.....lol! I just sit in my cringe these days. | |||
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"Gaaaaaaaaagh help Wonky brain has made me miss a wonderful social with a lovely forumite recently and now got the chance of another but I am getting worse as I get older and believe I can’t do the small talk anymore. Anyone else feels that they regress socially? Hi
What changed to make you think you can't do small talk anymore?
I'd like to know if this is a common issue as ND people get older.
"I'm trying to figure out if mine's early onset dementia.  It runs in my family. | |||
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"I’m just wondering how common imposter syndrome is amongst ND people? " This is literally everyone who is a Millenial/Born in the 80s and 90s. I wanna be a grown up but for me there's a raving lunatic toddler loose in my head most of the time. She's brilliant when I can wrangle her but most of the time she running wild. | |||
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"Gaaaaaaaaagh help Wonky brain has made me miss a wonderful social with a lovely forumite recently and now got the chance of another but I am getting worse as I get older and believe I can’t do the small talk anymore. Anyone else feels that they regress socially? Hi
What changed to make you think you can't do small talk anymore?
I'd like to know if this is a common issue as ND people get older.
I don’t know. I’m at a time of my life where work pressure is really taking hold. I challenged myself to move up and find it exhausting.
Might be exhausted. So lack the motivation to try anymore. "Yeah I noped out of a traditional career for Millenials. Luckily no one including me died while I was pursuing it. My inner toddler likes being a hippie. my inner adult would like to do something more brain-engaging. | |||
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"I’m just wondering how common imposter syndrome is amongst ND people? In what sense? Certainly lots of people I know have questioned their diagnosis if that's what yiu mean? I mean just in general with things in life… For example, when people think you’re attractive or have done something well, you think you’ve conned or tricked them into believing it " Oh that...I couldn't con anyone if I tried... too many people have told me I'm too honest. Lol! I'm a terrible liar. I do however get bouts of "I do not even know what the F. I'm doing here" | |||
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"I’m just wondering how common imposter syndrome is amongst ND people? In what sense? Certainly lots of people I know have questioned their diagnosis if that's what yiu mean?" I never question my diagnosis. I'm usually the one figuring it out and telling the doctors....They ignore me until ....something bad/drastic happens.
Now I've taken to ignoring what they say and telling them that something bad is going to happen if they don't listen to me because it's happened before....Then they dig through the past notes and panic. | |||
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"In that awful place of wanting to be on dating sites to find a relationship but the act of being on them and the rejection thing makes my mental health shit, I do not have the confidence nor the skills or group to go out and meet people in "natrual" environments Also apparent adhd tablets only have further increased my sex drive-_-" I had to learn those skills. They sure as hell didn't come naturally and I wasn't taught them in childhood. I have to work on/practice those skills every single week otherwise my brain defaults to "people = ewww" Is your focus better on the ADHD meds at least? My mood stabilizers made me fat but I'd rather be fat than losing my F-ing mind. | |||
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"I haven't been overly active on the last few threads bit still here and observing. I'm doing okay, had a departmental team building day yesterday, which is my idea of hell so I reached out beforehand and got so much support "I'm not going to pretend to be am expert on Autism so you tell me what yiu need and we'll do it", fucking hell that's how you do inclusion! So what should have been a really stressful day was actually quite enjoyable. It's also weird that knowing support is available means I feel I need less support. That's good news, glad they are supporting you especially after everything you've been through.
Thank you. The contrast is pretty extreme. Funnily enough I'm coping a lot better working in a supportive environment.
I'm also trying to process what seems to be ever worsening sensory issues, or specifically sensory overload. So it's nit all good news
Oh no I'm assuming it's something out of your control causing you the problems?
I'm not sure whether I'm just becoming more aware of it now I'm understanding my diagnosis more and a lot of last years chaos has subsided.
I'm finding noises and particularly atmospheres where there's a lot of adrenalin quickly overwhelming while other things I'm fine with. It's just draining and I haven't got a handle on it yet but hopefully I will "I wear headphones a lot. My life is always chaotic. Um...sometimes adrenalin good sometimes adrenalin bad. Swinging adrenalin good so far...or that might be because it sends the serotonin, oxytocin, dopamine and endorphins way up. I could never be an adrenaline junkie...too much does not make me feel good at all. Don't get me started on cortisol.. It's like I'm allergic to it. | |||
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"Gaaaaaaaaagh help Wonky brain has made me miss a wonderful social with a lovely forumite recently and now got the chance of another but I am getting worse as I get older and believe I can’t do the small talk anymore. Anyone else feels that they regress socially? Hi
What changed to make you think you can't do small talk anymore?
I'd like to know if this is a common issue as ND people get older.
I don’t know. I’m at a time of my life where work pressure is really taking hold. I challenged myself to move up and find it exhausting.
Might be exhausted. So lack the motivation to try anymore.
Sounds potentially like burn out. Do you feel like you go in cycles of overcommitting yourself and proving your worth, only to then become irritable and overwhelmed and completely shut down? It might be time to start adding more sensory things, into your routine, rather than people and commitments. Hope you’re taking care of yourself x"Good ideas. | |||
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"Hey male half here and neurodivergent " hey! | |||
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"Heyy neurodivergent peeps x
Hi knobin how you doing?
I'm doing okay thankyouu Back to having my naughty little masturbation sessions again heh.
How have you been?? x
Haha how long did you last!? Did find it beneficial?
My health is kicking my ass lately. Rod hasn't been well either, we're good for nothing ha."Repeat after me: Masturbation is self-love, self-care, self-soothing and f-ing sensory relief! It's a somatic experience and so many of us ( me) are disconnected from our bodies! Um you guys are here contributing so I think that's good for something. Don't bully inner little rod and Kitty. | |||
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"In that awful place of wanting to be on dating sites to find a relationship but the act of being on them and the rejection thing makes my mental health shit, I do not have the confidence nor the skills or group to go out and meet people in "natrual" environments Also apparent adhd tablets only have further increased my sex drive-_- That does sound rubbish! Dating isn't easy, I hope you manage to find what you're looking for. I know you've said how you struggle with your sex drive, I'd imagine it's the last thing you need. Its a bit easier now that I have a pretty usual fwb / sub who I seem normally at least once a week. However she is allready in a relationship But yeah the relationships suck It's all fun having sex but like I want someoneone to bond with " I hear that. I bond with myself these days. I suppose I have a group bond and a therapist developing bond. That's enough for me. I've got a disorganized avoidant attachment style....too many people have hurt me so I don't trust people and you can't deeply bond and connect without trust. I keep most people at arm's length. That's close enough. Lol! before I start to panic. | |||
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"Hope its ok to join in. I (Adie) suffer severe depression and anxiety. I am now on long term benefits. " From my angle, They told me I had depression and anxiety for 10 years...come down to London and they told me I had a mood disorder, BPD and autistic traits...so......Unless you've done the other assessments and they said no or not enough traits for diagnosis...I think you might have something else going on. Others opinions may differ from mine. | |||
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"I just assume that's how people who have it want to define it. I'm formally diagnosed with both, plus dyspraxia. I'm way to pedantic to work with clunky acronyms. "Acronyms don't bother me. They are filed in the irrelevant box in my brain....and then I forget what they are. lol! Not that I think that they are irrelevant. my BPD inner toddler child thinks that they are. Toddlers don't tend to care about acronyms. I wish adult me did the filing. | |||
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"I say I have autistic traits because I'm still bricking it over getting an official diagnosis." It's a stressful process that takes ages -- and not helped by them investigating behaviour rather than our experience of the world and thinking style. Something someone said to me during my assessment waiting period... "neurotypical people don't spend their lives wondering whether they're autistic or not." | |||
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"Hey! So I'm Autistic and possibly ADHD (was hard enough getting the first diagnosis nevermind starting all that again) and the Mr is possibly both and we are new to swinging and finding the hardest part is... Actually starting conversations with people either on here or in person at Clubs... Not very helpful when the first step to swinging is -you know- chatting
I just stumbled across this thread and it looks like it might be super helpful!
Was going to post something similar but, well, couldn't find the words. At least I feel a little better knowing I'm not the only one struggling with first messages and opening conversation in clubs.
I dont know how it happens for everyone else but I end up just overthinking the whole thing, which then makes me stupidly anxious (or the other way round) and something that should be natural turns into something so generic, formilulaic and safe, for fear of offending someone, embarrassing myself or crossing a line that I cant judge where it is because no one's told me!
Sorry this is a bit of a rant but it really frustrates me because once conversation is going the better sides of it all come out and I'm quick witted, smart and funny ( allegedly) but oh my god that initial contact with people. It's a real struggle. And it's sort of putting me off going back clubs because what if what if what if.
Try to find a club buddy. I'm a bit of a club buddy. I go to a social in a club with a guy who is a bit more autistic presenting. Meanwhile, I'm an expert masker. Last time I saw him, I dragged him off to watch some dungeon play and gave him a hug. Then another guy I had been chatting to came in with another lady. She started kissing the guy I was hugging! But then she tried to kiss me...yup flee trigger. I'm straight. I was able to dodge and relay her focus back to the men and not completely leg it out of the club. The other guy I was chatting to somehow dipped out too and then the guy I was hugging and the lady ended up in the cage bed in the dungeon.
I went to get a drink and saw him later. He said hey Mel, I made a new friend!! Grinning. I said great!! So I designate myself Aspie Wing Woman.
One of my first times to the Swingers club alone, I nearly had an anxiety attack in the Uber. luckily I was able to breathe my way out of it and the staff at the club were really nice to me."I'd deffo need a club buddy haha. My anxiety solo would get the better of me I feel lol. | |||
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"Heyy neurodivergent peeps x
Hi knobin how you doing?
I'm doing okay thankyouu Back to having my naughty little masturbation sessions again heh.
How have you been?? x
Haha how long did you last!? Did find it beneficial?
My health is kicking my ass lately. Rod hasn't been well either, we're good for nothing ha.
Repeat after me: Masturbation is self-love, self-care, self-soothing and f-ing sensory relief! It's a somatic experience and so many of us ( me) are disconnected from our bodies!
Um you guys are here contributing so I think that's good for something. Don't bully inner little rod and Kitty. "Noo haha, I was basically not playing cos I heard the benefits of semen retention. I'm not against masturbation lol. To be honest, I'd say I'm getting more connected to my body the older I get I feel. Rod and Kitty are lovely x | |||
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"Heyy neurodivergent peeps x
Hi knobin how you doing?
I'm doing okay thankyouu Back to having my naughty little masturbation sessions again heh.
How have you been?? x
Haha how long did you last!? Did find it beneficial?
My health is kicking my ass lately. Rod hasn't been well either, we're good for nothing ha."Yea I lasted for a good little while. I'm not great at keeping track of time, but a good few days. Perhaps if I really focused on it, I'd have lasted much much longer. But I had more energy in general and my focus for completing other tasks definitely increased was very good
Owwh! Sorry to hear that. Sending some healing and love you're way. x | |||
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"Hope its ok to join in. I (Adie) suffer severe depression and anxiety. I am now on long term benefits. " Hey welcome not our usual angle but a lot of neurodivergent people suffer with these including myself so welcome enjoy the chats | |||
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"In that awful place of wanting to be on dating sites to find a relationship but the act of being on them and the rejection thing makes my mental health shit, I do not have the confidence nor the skills or group to go out and meet people in "natrual" environments Also apparent adhd tablets only have further increased my sex drive-_- I had to learn those skills. They sure as hell didn't come naturally and I wasn't taught them in childhood. I have to work on/practice those skills every single week otherwise my brain defaults to "people = ewww" Is your focus better on the ADHD meds at least? My mood stabilizers made me fat but I'd rather be fat than losing my F-ing mind. "Yeah definitely better I mean even at the starter dose , I think I'm gonna go up a dose to be honest as I'm still having to top up with caffine to get the full effects but working better for sure I'm not expecting miracles straight away got bit of road on dosage and release patterns. | |||
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" I'd deffo need a club buddy haha. My anxiety solo would get the better of me I feel lol." I'd love to get a club buddy who could support me and help with introductions and getting things going | |||
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"Heyy neurodivergent peeps x
Hi knobin how you doing?
I'm doing okay thankyouu Back to having my naughty little masturbation sessions again heh.
How have you been?? x
Haha how long did you last!? Did find it beneficial?
My health is kicking my ass lately. Rod hasn't been well either, we're good for nothing ha.
Yea I lasted for a good little while. I'm not great at keeping track of time, but a good few days. Perhaps if I really focused on it, I'd have lasted much much longer. But I had more energy in general and my focus for completing other tasks definitely increased was very good
Owwh! Sorry to hear that. Sending some healing and love you're way. x"Ooh interesting! I wouldn't have thought it would make that much difference. Ahh thanks lovely could definitely do with some healing | |||
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"I’m just wondering how common imposter syndrome is amongst ND people? " Prior to my autism assessment and diagnosis I was convinced I was on the spectrum. After my diagnosis, I became convinced it was all a big mistake and they were completely wrong.
I partly think it's because I still have media stereotypes of 'Rain Man' in my head, and because I don't stare sideways counting toothpicks, I can't possibly have this condition.
Plus, I don't fit the stereotype of the socially inept, unwashed, maths wizard -- I've had plenty of girlfriends, manage small talk with my neighbours, don't struggle with eye contact and have even been known to tell the odd fib.
However -- take away my routines and structure, and I kinda regress -- the stress of the first lockdown saw all my masks disappear, my social skills regress, and a return to the less capable me of my childhood! 
I never had any imposter syndrome with ADHD diagnosis though -- that's way more obvious and undeniable. | |||
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"Anyone else feels that they regress socially? " I kinda mentioned this in my previous post. A lot of the earlier diagnostic criteria for autism was about speech delay -- if you had speech delay you were autistic, if you did not, you had Asperger's. You also had things like Pervasive Developmental Disorder. Even though I'm an aspie, I now realise that the traits move around a bit -- and it's really not a fixed spectrum, and even if you grew up verbose, you could still potentially become nonverbal during times of difficulty. For example, my sensitivity to high pitched noise gets worse when I'm under stress -- but keep me in a low-stress environment and I barely notice anything. Similar with small talk -- I've always been able to muddle my way through with the basics, but when I have shit going on my tendency to overshare and infodump goes through the roof! | |||
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"Do any ADHDers use the discord app? I'm struggling to find my way around it but it seems like a supportive community. " I use discord. Great app. In a few little community servers at the moment. Not swinging related though. | |||
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"Do any ADHDers use the discord app? I'm struggling to find my way around it but it seems like a supportive community. " i tried but i found it pretty difficult as well. its a live chat service and while you can leave messages its not really a messaging service like this forum is, for example. I had been a member of a subreddit called "sex on the spectrum", i tried the equivalent discord server also called "sex on the spectrum." and while i could access it i couldnt really work out what to do with it. i think you really need other people to be logged on at the same time as you, and for them to want to speak to you. because that server didnt have many users there didnt appear to be people online. | |||
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"Do any ADHDers use the discord app? I'm struggling to find my way around it but it seems like a supportive community. i tried but i found it pretty difficult as well. its a live chat service and while you can leave messages its not really a messaging service like this forum is, for example. I had been a member of a subreddit called "sex on the spectrum", i tried the equivalent discord server also called "sex on the spectrum." and while i could access it i couldnt really work out what to do with it. i think you really need other people to be logged on at the same time as you, and for them to want to speak to you. because that server didnt have many users there didnt appear to be people online. " Oh I didn't say which one I was talking about The ADHD Adults is the server I was talking about I think they have around 2000 members on that one. I've been dipping in and out since Nov, just not a fan of the layout. | |||
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"Do any ADHDers use the discord app? I'm struggling to find my way around it but it seems like a supportive community. I use discord. Great app. In a few little community servers at the moment. Not swinging related though." Maybe my dyslexia makes it harder for me to navigate. Do they have swinging related servers? | |||
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"Do any ADHDers use the discord app? I'm struggling to find my way around it but it seems like a supportive community. " Yup use it daily with gaming / sim racing team | |||
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"Do any ADHDers use the discord app? I'm struggling to find my way around it but it seems like a supportive community. I use discord. Great app. In a few little community servers at the moment. Not swinging related though. Maybe my dyslexia makes it harder for me to navigate. Do they have swinging related servers? "To be honest, I've not looked. | |||
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"Do any ADHDers use the discord app? I'm struggling to find my way around it but it seems like a supportive community. " I have it because my kids do, they delight in sending me messages and berate me fit not being able to find them
I also struggle to find my way round it, I’m on a couple of groups for unschooling that seem very supportive but can’t seem to engage . E | |||
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"Do any ADHDers use the discord app? I'm struggling to find my way around it but it seems like a supportive community. I have it because my kids do, they delight in sending me messages and berate me fit not being able to find them
I also struggle to find my way round it, I’m on a couple of groups for unschooling that seem very supportive but can’t seem to engage . E". I’ve joined the ADHD As Females Patreon and their discord. It’s been great for support and ideas…. Everything from music for dopamine, to finances, sex & relationships. | |||
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"Oh wow... been a while since I've been present in the forums and even then would often keep myself to myself and its late now and not feeling I've the capacity to fill in proper now but, heartened to come across this chat and hope I can join in. It's a definite struggle with strong desires Liberal views and being socially inept.x" Welcome | |||
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"I gave up on this series of threads, tbh. Fab clearly think it's more important to give gamers and campers their own forum than us. So, fuck 'em. " campers | |||
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"I gave up on this series of threads, tbh. Fab clearly think it's more important to give gamers and campers their own forum than us. So, fuck 'em. campers "Yeah | |||
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"I gave up on this series of threads, tbh. Fab clearly think it's more important to give gamers and campers their own forum than us. So, fuck 'em. " Doesn't make sense does it? Even a general 'health' forum would be better than some of the shit in here. | |||
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"Maybe my dyslexia makes it harder for me to navigate. Do they have swinging related servers? "I just looked at Discord for the first time and it made my head spin -- I don't think I've got the brain power to navigate that lot. | |||
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"I gave up on this series of threads, tbh. Fab clearly think it's more important to give gamers and campers their own forum than us. So, fuck 'em. Doesn't make sense does it? Even a general 'health' forum would be better than some of the shit in here. "No it doesn't make sense. I still think it's nice for us to support each other though. | |||
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"Well my DiD makes it interesting as depends on which personality is in control dictates what kind of fucking haha" | |||
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"Maybe my dyslexia makes it harder for me to navigate. Do they have swinging related servers?
I just looked at Discord for the first time and it made my head spin -- I don't think I've got the brain power to navigate that lot. "At least I'm not the only one  | |||
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"I gave up on this series of threads, tbh. Fab clearly think it's more important to give gamers and campers their own forum than us. So, fuck 'em. Doesn't make sense does it? Even a general 'health' forum would be better than some of the shit in here.
No it doesn't make sense.
I still think it's nice for us to support each other though. "100% *love heart emoji* | |||
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"I gave up on this series of threads, tbh. Fab clearly think it's more important to give gamers and campers their own forum than us. So, fuck 'em. Doesn't make sense does it? Even a general 'health' forum would be better than some of the shit in here.
No it doesn't make sense.
I still think it's nice for us to support each other though.
100%  ";-) | |||
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"How's the wonk treating you all? I'm battling with awful fatigue atm which is turning me into a hermit. I've been persistent with The Adhd Adults server on discord though, think I'm getting the hang of it now and I've started to partake in discussions "Whooo! Go youu!! | |||
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"How's the wonk treating you all? I'm battling with awful fatigue atm which is turning me into a hermit. I've been persistent with The Adhd Adults server on discord though, think I'm getting the hang of it now and I've started to partake in discussions
Whooo! Go youu!! "I know right! Haha. Having a nose around beantopia now it's for autism and adhd. You ok? | |||
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"How's the wonk treating you all? I'm battling with awful fatigue atm which is turning me into a hermit. I've been persistent with The Adhd Adults server on discord though, think I'm getting the hang of it now and I've started to partake in discussions
Whooo! Go youu!!
I know right! Haha. Having a nose around beantopia now it's for autism and adhd.
You ok? "What's beantopia?? Am doing okay thank youu x. Flowin' and groovin'. | |||
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"How's the wonk treating you all? I'm battling with awful fatigue atm which is turning me into a hermit. I've been persistent with The Adhd Adults server on discord though, think I'm getting the hang of it now and I've started to partake in discussions
Whooo! Go youu!!
I know right! Haha. Having a nose around beantopia now it's for autism and adhd.
You ok?
What's beantopia??
Am doing okay thank youu x. Flowin' and groovin'. "Flowin and groovin sounds good
It's another server on discord run by autistic people but it's for all ND people.
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"Does anyone know of any good autism podcasts? That are hosted by people in the UK? " Late Discovered Club is one I've enjoyed | |||
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"Does anyone know of any good autism podcasts? That are hosted by people in the UK? Late Discovered Club is one I've enjoyed" Thanks John I'll check that one out. Hope you're ok. | |||
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"Does anyone know of any good autism podcasts? That are hosted by people in the UK? Late Discovered Club is one I've enjoyed Thanks John I'll check that one out. Hope you're ok. " I am cheers, a rough few days but getting there | |||
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"I greatly prefer to tell the truth. On Saturday, I'm going to see my Mum and Dad for Mother's Day, one day early. The next day, I'm going to Kestrels. When my Mum asks me, on Saturday, "What are you doing tomorrow?" what shall I say? " "Seeing friends" is near enough the truth surely? | |||
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"How's the wonk treating you all? I'm battling with awful fatigue atm which is turning me into a hermit. I've been persistent with The Adhd Adults server on discord though, think I'm getting the hang of it now and I've started to partake in discussions
Whooo! Go youu!!
I know right! Haha. Having a nose around beantopia now it's for autism and adhd.
You ok?
What's beantopia??
Am doing okay thank youu x. Flowin' and groovin'.
Flowin and groovin sounds good
It's another server on discord run by autistic people but it's for all ND people.
"Awesome, I'll have to check it out. x | |||
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""Seeing friends" is near enough the truth surely?" Well when I tried this with another woman called Sue yesterday, Sue asked, innocently, "What are you going to do?" Oooh. Awkward moment. My first thought was to say, you wouldn't be into what I have in mind. (Or maybe she would be.)
You see, one of my Aspy traits is I notice and talk about details. When I try to be deliberately vague I feel uncomfortable. | |||
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""Seeing friends" is near enough the truth surely? Well when I tried this with another woman called Sue yesterday, Sue asked, innocently, "What are you going to do?" Oooh. Awkward moment. My first thought was to say, you wouldn't be into what I have in mind. (Or maybe she would be.)
You see, one of my Aspy traits is I notice and talk about details. When I try to be deliberately vague I feel uncomfortable."Yea I'm the same as you. I don't enjoy lying (I can feel the lie actually harming my character), so I have to be very careful with what I share with others and be as vague as I can until I know it's safe to share certain details. You could just say you're going to see friends to hang out. I mean, if they're very nosey, they'll probably ask you what you're gonna get up to and all the deeper details.. but you can even respond to that with 'well we're just gonna go with the flow of the day/evening'. Which is true! | |||
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"Does anyone know of any good autism podcasts? That are hosted by people in the UK? Late Discovered Club is one I've enjoyed Thanks John I'll check that one out. Hope you're ok. I am cheers, a rough few days but getting there" Hopefully things are a little better now for you? | |||
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""Seeing friends" is near enough the truth surely? Well when I tried this with another woman called Sue yesterday, Sue asked, innocently, "What are you going to do?" Oooh. Awkward moment. My first thought was to say, you wouldn't be into what I have in mind. (Or maybe she would be.)
You see, one of my Aspy traits is I notice and talk about details. When I try to be deliberately vague I feel uncomfortable.
Yea I'm the same as you. I don't enjoy lying (I can feel the lie actually harming my character), so I have to be very careful with what I share with others and be as vague as I can until I know it's safe to share certain details.
You could just say you're going to see friends to hang out. I mean, if they're very nosey, they'll probably ask you what you're gonna get up to and all the deeper details.. but you can even respond to that with 'well we're just gonna go with the flow of the day/evening'. Which is true!"I dislike telling lies too but the amount of lies I've had to tell to get out to clubs over the years is shocking! Mother is rather nosey and remembers so many finer details as my memory has got worse over the past couple of years it's been harder and I've tripped myself up a few times haha. I can get away with it nowadays though cus I just say I'm out with Rod.
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"Does anyone know of any good autism podcasts? That are hosted by people in the UK? Late Discovered Club is one I've enjoyed Thanks John I'll check that one out. Hope you're ok. I am cheers, a rough few days but getting there Hopefully things are a little better now for you? " It's complex and though it in no way involves this sight, I know that discussing a police investigation (where I'm the victim) is not sonethibg I should do. But thank you, I'm good just stressed. Its also the anniversary of everything kicking off on my last job and going off sick which is an invasive thought i can't quite distract myself from. More positively i had a very encouraging conversation with my employer where they stressed again how much they love how open I am about my needs and how that benefits us all and would I work with them on a presentation to educate colleagues and also encourage people that may not have disclosed to feel confident to do so which is so cool | |||
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"I say I have autistic traits because I'm still bricking it over getting an official diagnosis.It's a stressful process that takes ages -- and not helped by them investigating behaviour rather than our experience of the world and thinking style. Something someone said to me during my assessment waiting period... "neurotypical people don't spend their lives wondering whether they're autistic or not." "They make it all fun and games don't they....not.. still here suffering but surviving. | |||
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"Hey! So I'm Autistic and possibly ADHD (was hard enough getting the first diagnosis nevermind starting all that again) and the Mr is possibly both and we are new to swinging and finding the hardest part is... Actually starting conversations with people either on here or in person at Clubs... Not very helpful when the first step to swinging is -you know- chatting
I just stumbled across this thread and it looks like it might be super helpful!
Was going to post something similar but, well, couldn't find the words. At least I feel a little better knowing I'm not the only one struggling with first messages and opening conversation in clubs.
I dont know how it happens for everyone else but I end up just overthinking the whole thing, which then makes me stupidly anxious (or the other way round) and something that should be natural turns into something so generic, formilulaic and safe, for fear of offending someone, embarrassing myself or crossing a line that I cant judge where it is because no one's told me!
Sorry this is a bit of a rant but it really frustrates me because once conversation is going the better sides of it all come out and I'm quick witted, smart and funny ( allegedly) but oh my god that initial contact with people. It's a real struggle. And it's sort of putting me off going back clubs because what if what if what if.
Try to find a club buddy. I'm a bit of a club buddy. I go to a social in a club with a guy who is a bit more autistic presenting. Meanwhile, I'm an expert masker. Last time I saw him, I dragged him off to watch some dungeon play and gave him a hug. Then another guy I had been chatting to came in with another lady. She started kissing the guy I was hugging! But then she tried to kiss me...yup flee trigger. I'm straight. I was able to dodge and relay her focus back to the men and not completely leg it out of the club. The other guy I was chatting to somehow dipped out too and then the guy I was hugging and the lady ended up in the cage bed in the dungeon.
I went to get a drink and saw him later. He said hey Mel, I made a new friend!! Grinning. I said great!! So I designate myself Aspie Wing Woman.
One of my first times to the Swingers club alone, I nearly had an anxiety attack in the Uber. luckily I was able to breathe my way out of it and the staff at the club were really nice to me.
I'd deffo need a club buddy haha. My anxiety solo would get the better of me I feel lol."I think most people need a club buddy...even me.. so I can have someone to talk to when I don't wanna play. | |||
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"I was also diagnosed with personality disorders based on impulsive behaviour, but I now put that down to ADHD. I also think I picked up some narcissistic traits by bigging up my IQ to compensate for other difficulties. The issue is, many PD clinicians don't have enough experience of neurodiversity, and often diagnose with limited information -- I've since been discharged from the PD service. " We don't have a PD service...just a complex needs one but they don't cover neurodivergent brains or complex PTSD. sigh..... | |||
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(SweetCherry) | |||
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"Does anyone know of any good autism podcasts? That are hosted by people in the UK? Late Discovered Club is one I've enjoyed Thanks John I'll check that one out. Hope you're ok. I am cheers, a rough few days but getting there Hopefully things are a little better now for you? It's complex and though it in no way involves this sight, I know that discussing a police investigation (where I'm the victim) is not sonethibg I should do. But thank you, I'm good just stressed. Its also the anniversary of everything kicking off on my last job and going off sick which is an invasive thought i can't quite distract myself from. More positively i had a very encouraging conversation with my employer where they stressed again how much they love how open I am about my needs and how that benefits us all and would I work with them on a presentation to educate colleagues and also encourage people that may not have disclosed to feel confident to do so which is so cool " I'm sorry to hear this I hope things get sorted out for you, no wonder you're feeling stressed. Why is it everything seems to happen at once! Hope you're managing to take time to relax.
It sounds like you're appreciated at this new place and they are trying to embrace ND people, how fabulous! Are there any jobs going | |||
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"So this is my first time posting here , I don’t know if I’m welcome or not. I’m in no way diagnosed and I’m reluctant to speak to my GP about it as I’m not sure what difference it would make to my life if I was diagnosed but I’m beginning to understand more about myself as time goes by. One reason I’m posting here today is that I’ve just been to a work seminar today discussing an area we call Non Technical Skills. As part of this, we were looking into thought processes, perception and how observations turn into short and long term memories and throughout the entire day all I could think was “that’s not how my mind works”. They went through various group work to show how you don’t perceive things that aren’t important and that the brain filters out non essential information and in each scenario you were supposed to realise “oh yeah, there’s this noise or this smell or this thing I’d not seen before” but each time they were all things I’d been acutely aware of throughout. On it’s own of course, it’s just a small thing but it’s just the latest small thing in a long line of small things that have started to make me think I maybe somewhat “wonky”. For those how have been diagnosed later in life, can I ask what the benefits have been to you? Has it made much difference in your life or helped you at all? " It gave my life, experiences and the reasons I kept repeating the same mistakes over and over again prespective. Chk out psychology uk, its a web site that runs off nhs referrals and can help cut down the waiting times to something that seems realistic | |||
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"Sorry for leaving abruptly the last time. Back on the ND club
(SweetCherry) "Hey lovely welcome back, hope you're well. | |||
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"Does anyone know of any good autism podcasts? That are hosted by people in the UK? " Not a podcast but theres a scouse youtuber called Dana Andersen i watch out for videos from. shes early 20s so might come across as having a young viewpoint and for some reason she makes her video thumbnails with a quite retro playschool/jackanory look to them. often talks about stuff like living in a flatshare, fitting in with friend groups, family relationships and struggles with getting diagnosis. i've tended to find that a lot of the autism groups online (reddit, tumblr) tend to skew very young, there dont seem to be that many "mature" autism forums. its not normally a problem, autistic people tend to be quite mature in themselves, but if someone starts to talk about hyperfixating BTS fanfiction then im lost. | |||
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"Heyy neurodivergent peeps x
Hi knobin how you doing?
I'm doing okay thankyouu Back to having my naughty little masturbation sessions again heh.
How have you been?? x
Haha how long did you last!? Did find it beneficial?
My health is kicking my ass lately. Rod hasn't been well either, we're good for nothing ha.
Repeat after me: Masturbation is self-love, self-care, self-soothing and f-ing sensory relief! It's a somatic experience and so many of us ( me) are disconnected from our bodies!
Um you guys are here contributing so I think that's good for something. Don't bully inner little rod and Kitty.
Noo haha, I was basically not playing cos I heard the benefits of semen retention. I'm not against masturbation lol. To be honest, I'd say I'm getting more connected to my body the older I get I feel.
Rod and Kitty are lovely x"You can edge. That way you retain most of your semen. Also you can explore your more kinky or sensual side by not focusing on semen ejaculation. there are lots of different ways to self-play or play with others that do not involve bukkake. lol! | |||
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"In that awful place of wanting to be on dating sites to find a relationship but the act of being on them and the rejection thing makes my mental health shit, I do not have the confidence nor the skills or group to go out and meet people in "natrual" environments Also apparent adhd tablets only have further increased my sex drive-_- I had to learn those skills. They sure as hell didn't come naturally and I wasn't taught them in childhood. I have to work on/practice those skills every single week otherwise my brain defaults to "people = ewww" Is your focus better on the ADHD meds at least? My mood stabilizers made me fat but I'd rather be fat than losing my F-ing mind.
Yeah definitely better I mean even at the starter dose , I think I'm gonna go up a dose to be honest as I'm still having to top up with caffine to get the full effects but working better for sure I'm not expecting miracles straight away got bit of road on dosage and release patterns.
"It's a constant work in progress....but at my own pace...so glad I left school now...that pace was relentless. | |||
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" I'd deffo need a club buddy haha. My anxiety solo would get the better of me I feel lol. I'd love to get a club buddy who could support me and help with introductions and getting things going " Well if you ever want to come up to Heahtrow Ab Fabs let me know. I'm a member and there's a hotel and Macdonalds next door. So you can leg it if it all becomes too much sensory-wise. Lol! I just run off to the pool or the jacuzzi which has less people in it than the main room. Less people in the dungeon too. The cinema and the dark room is a bit much loads of the wanking dead and when you go in loads of guys creep up to you. I went in the dark room with a familiar meet and a random guy came and sat right next to use try to stick his hand in. Lol! I usually shove their hand away but the guys I'm with usually don't like it either. Like Bro at least ask the other Bro if you can touch the woman he's with... don't just assume he wants to share intimately. | |||
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"Heyy neurodivergent peeps x
Hi knobin how you doing?
I'm doing okay thankyouu Back to having my naughty little masturbation sessions again heh.
How have you been?? x
Haha how long did you last!? Did find it beneficial?
My health is kicking my ass lately. Rod hasn't been well either, we're good for nothing ha.
Yea I lasted for a good little while. I'm not great at keeping track of time, but a good few days. Perhaps if I really focused on it, I'd have lasted much much longer. But I had more energy in general and my focus for completing other tasks definitely increased was very good
Owwh! Sorry to hear that. Sending some healing and love you're way. x
Ooh interesting! I wouldn't have thought it would make that much difference.
Ahh thanks lovely could definitely do with some healing "don't we all need some healing. I know for a fact that Millenials have been through some shit....being a millennial myself....I dunno about the others and I worry about Gen Z and A....cause I know they had Millenials for parents usually. Lol! | |||
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"I’m just wondering how common imposter syndrome is amongst ND people? Prior to my autism assessment and diagnosis I was convinced I was on the spectrum. After my diagnosis, I became convinced it was all a big mistake and they were completely wrong.
I partly think it's because I still have media stereotypes of 'Rain Man' in my head, and because I don't stare sideways counting toothpicks, I can't possibly have this condition.
Plus, I don't fit the stereotype of the socially inept, unwashed, maths wizard -- I've had plenty of girlfriends, manage small talk with my neighbours, don't struggle with eye contact and have even been known to tell the odd fib.
However -- take away my routines and structure, and I kinda regress -- the stress of the first lockdown saw all my masks disappear, my social skills regress, and a return to the less capable me of my childhood!
I never had any imposter syndrome with ADHD diagnosis though -- that's way more obvious and undeniable."I dunno if I was much better the first lockdown I drank and ate my way through it even though I was in therapy. gained 20 kgs/44lbs and couldn't walk up a hill come summer. | |||
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"Anyone else feels that they regress socially? I kinda mentioned this in my previous post. A lot of the earlier diagnostic criteria for autism was about speech delay -- if you had speech delay you were autistic, if you did not, you had Asperger's. You also had things like Pervasive Developmental Disorder. Even though I'm an aspie, I now realise that the traits move around a bit -- and it's really not a fixed spectrum, and even if you grew up verbose, you could still potentially become nonverbal during times of difficulty. For example, my sensitivity to high pitched noise gets worse when I'm under stress -- but keep me in a low-stress environment and I barely notice anything. Similar with small talk -- I've always been able to muddle my way through with the basics, but when I have shit going on my tendency to overshare and infodump goes through the roof! "Oversharer and infodumper here! can't you tell from my long-winded messages typed at rapid speed on my laptop? Bamboozling everyone on a mobile phone with two finger typing? | |||
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"Do any ADHDers use the discord app? I'm struggling to find my way around it but it seems like a supportive community. i tried but i found it pretty difficult as well. its a live chat service and while you can leave messages its not really a messaging service like this forum is, for example. I had been a member of a subreddit called "sex on the spectrum", i tried the equivalent discord server also called "sex on the spectrum." and while i could access it i couldnt really work out what to do with it. i think you really need other people to be logged on at the same time as you, and for them to want to speak to you. because that server didnt have many users there didnt appear to be people online. " I'm a person with autistic traits who is a technophobe and technologically challenged. Lol! Oh I don't like change so grew up without a computer and a mobile so brain toddler doesn't like it. | |||
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"Do any ADHDers use the discord app? I'm struggling to find my way around it but it seems like a supportive community. I have it because my kids do, they delight in sending me messages and berate me fit not being able to find them
I also struggle to find my way round it, I’m on a couple of groups for unschooling that seem very supportive but can’t seem to engage . E"I don't own any actual kids....so I get the kids at work (under age 25 colleagues) to help me....they also berate me for being a technologically inept old fuddy-duddy. I am going to fully embrace my crotchety old woman persona. I literally tease them back too about their youth. so I think we are even. | |||
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"I gave up on this series of threads, tbh. Fab clearly think it's more important to give gamers and campers their own forum than us. So, fuck 'em. campers "lol! It's bloody freezing out side so no way I'm entering that series/threads unless they going camping in Dubai or Arabia or somewhere tropical. Lol! | |||
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"I gave up on this series of threads, tbh. Fab clearly think it's more important to give gamers and campers their own forum than us. So, fuck 'em. Doesn't make sense does it? Even a general 'health' forum would be better than some of the shit in here. "It's obviously some sort of risk thing so they are ...covering their own arses I guess. | |||
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"Maybe my dyslexia makes it harder for me to navigate. Do they have swinging related servers?
I just looked at Discord for the first time and it made my head spin -- I don't think I've got the brain power to navigate that lot. "Mate I can barely navigate my own small one-bedroom London Flat never mind take up another social media platform.... | |||
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" I'd deffo need a club buddy haha. My anxiety solo would get the better of me I feel lol. I'd love to get a club buddy who could support me and help with introductions and getting things going Well if you ever want to come up to Heahtrow Ab Fabs let me know. I'm a member and there's a hotel and Macdonalds next door. So you can leg it if it all becomes too much sensory-wise. Lol! I just run off to the pool or the jacuzzi which has less people in it than the main room. Less people in the dungeon too." I would have done this as a single as well, a club visit was very much in my weekly routine. Nowadays it's hit and miss whether we fancy it or I'm well enough to go, so I/we can't really make plans to go | |||
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"How's the wonk treating you all? I'm battling with awful fatigue atm which is turning me into a hermit. I've been persistent with The Adhd Adults server on discord though, think I'm getting the hang of it now and I've started to partake in discussions "Well the toddler in my brain has being going full pelt for the last 4 weeks. she hates change and I (and the world)have been implementing a lot of change. But still here although physically under the weather. Going out with the neurotypicals tomorrow wish me luck. Lol! to be fair I will hopefully see the other Neurodivergents there and we can hang around in the dungeon together hiding from everyone else. Lol! | |||
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"Does anyone know of any good autism podcasts? That are hosted by people in the UK? Late Discovered Club is one I've enjoyed" Nice. | |||
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"I greatly prefer to tell the truth. On Saturday, I'm going to see my Mum and Dad for Mother's Day, one day early. The next day, I'm going to Kestrels. When my Mum asks me, on Saturday, "What are you doing tomorrow?" what shall I say? " I just tell em I'm going to see friends or to a club. My parents are less interesting in my social life...unless they are coming along...and they don't like my friends or clubs enough to be coming along. If I say I'm going swimming or to church then they want to come. lol! | |||
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"P1 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1346028 P2 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1369444 P3 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1374628 P4 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1375399 P5 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1378212 P6 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1379859 P7 - https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/support/1384337 P8 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1385017 P9 - https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1386683 P10 - https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/138935 P11 - https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1402246 P12 -https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1409222 Thanks to HornyPT
Just bookmarking for now, I'll be back when I can stay awake for long enough " | |||
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""Seeing friends" is near enough the truth surely? Well when I tried this with another woman called Sue yesterday, Sue asked, innocently, "What are you going to do?" Oooh. Awkward moment. My first thought was to say, you wouldn't be into what I have in mind. (Or maybe she would be.)
You see, one of my Aspy traits is I notice and talk about details. When I try to be deliberately vague I feel uncomfortable.
Yea I'm the same as you. I don't enjoy lying (I can feel the lie actually harming my character), so I have to be very careful with what I share with others and be as vague as I can until I know it's safe to share certain details.
You could just say you're going to see friends to hang out. I mean, if they're very nosey, they'll probably ask you what you're gonna get up to and all the deeper details.. but you can even respond to that with 'well we're just gonna go with the flow of the day/evening'. Which is true!"I like to freak my nosey friends out so I'll tell 'em I'm going topless in a jacuzzi. Then they will shut up or......ask more and then will find out I'm going bottomless too! Lol! Then I'll invite them on a nudist holiday. Lol! Mum and Dad don't care about jacuzzis. Maybe if it was gardening or cooking....that's all they care about now. Lol!...and some weird retiree one-upmanship...that I can't part take in because I'm not retired. Sibling has been told I'm a swinger and their head didn't implode so..... | |||
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""Seeing friends" is near enough the truth surely? Well when I tried this with another woman called Sue yesterday, Sue asked, innocently, "What are you going to do?" Oooh. Awkward moment. My first thought was to say, you wouldn't be into what I have in mind. (Or maybe she would be.)
You see, one of my Aspy traits is I notice and talk about details. When I try to be deliberately vague I feel uncomfortable.
Yea I'm the same as you. I don't enjoy lying (I can feel the lie actually harming my character), so I have to be very careful with what I share with others and be as vague as I can until I know it's safe to share certain details.
You could just say you're going to see friends to hang out. I mean, if they're very nosey, they'll probably ask you what you're gonna get up to and all the deeper details.. but you can even respond to that with 'well we're just gonna go with the flow of the day/evening'. Which is true!
I dislike telling lies too but the amount of lies I've had to tell to get out to clubs over the years is shocking! Mother is rather nosey and remembers so many finer details as my memory has got worse over the past couple of years it's been harder and I've tripped myself up a few times haha. I can get away with it nowadays though cus I just say I'm out with Rod.
"Can't be any worse than when my mother ratted out my dad for watching porn on his tablet...... they are in their 70s....
I was like "this is none of my business" and "he can do what he likes in his own home with his own devices...he's still a compos mentis adult." Dunno what she thought I was going to do....take away his tablet like a toddler?
I've already got one toddler in my head to deal with I don't need another adult toddler to parent right now. | |||
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"Does anyone know of any good autism podcasts? That are hosted by people in the UK? Late Discovered Club is one I've enjoyed Thanks John I'll check that one out. Hope you're ok. I am cheers, a rough few days but getting there Hopefully things are a little better now for you? It's complex and though it in no way involves this sight, I know that discussing a police investigation (where I'm the victim) is not sonethibg I should do. But thank you, I'm good just stressed. Its also the anniversary of everything kicking off on my last job and going off sick which is an invasive thought i can't quite distract myself from. More positively i had a very encouraging conversation with my employer where they stressed again how much they love how open I am about my needs and how that benefits us all and would I work with them on a presentation to educate colleagues and also encourage people that may not have disclosed to feel confident to do so which is so cool " Great boss. Sorry about the previous employer and the victim in a police investigation...I been in both scenarios. | |||
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"Sorry for leaving abruptly the last time. Back on the ND club
(SweetCherry) "Hugs....it happens. I've seen it in domestic abuse group, therapy groups and support groups. I've also seen it in church groups and sports groups. People just have things going on that they can't cope with so they leave. | |||
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"Does anyone know of any good autism podcasts? That are hosted by people in the UK? Not a podcast but theres a scouse youtuber called Dana Andersen i watch out for videos from. shes early 20s so might come across as having a young viewpoint and for some reason she makes her video thumbnails with a quite retro playschool/jackanory look to them. often talks about stuff like living in a flatshare, fitting in with friend groups, family relationships and struggles with getting diagnosis. i've tended to find that a lot of the autism groups online (reddit, tumblr) tend to skew very young, there dont seem to be that many "mature" autism forums. its not normally a problem, autistic people tend to be quite mature in themselves, but if someone starts to talk about hyperfixating BTS fanfiction then im lost. " Lol! I know BTS fans in their 40s....Half of my school peers are obsessed with anime, japan, china and korea...oh the sibling is off to Japan to...I'm the only one still stuck in the Old world/new world. Lol! One of the kid colleagues has buggered off to go to Thailand for a year out: had enough of waiting on his parents to move to France I guess. I guess they've had it with post-capitalist western culture. Lol! I don't blame them. Eastern culture still holds tightly onto their traditional values. They certainly have more festivals than western culture now. | |||
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"I've been upped on my adhd meds now so I'm now on 36mg will see how sleep goes , still a stupid sex drive through which is doing my head in as allthough I have a fwb we maybe only see each other once or twice a week" Yeah most men have it that high at your age. I have no advice because my brain like to disconnect from my body and thereby disconnecting from my libido. I have to go to the clubs to force it to re-connect to my body and sexuality. I've got a whole sleep routine which has been routined the last two weeks with fatigue and now this cold/flu/winter virus bug situation. I am tired of being in bed. | |||
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"Sorry for leaving abruptly the last time. Back on the ND club
(SweetCherry)
Hugs....it happens. I've seen it in domestic abuse group, therapy groups and support groups. I've also seen it in church groups and sports groups. People just have things going on that they can't cope with so they leave."Thanks! I am better now, but it’s been a very hard last couple of months | |||
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"Sorry for leaving abruptly the last time. Back on the ND club
(SweetCherry)
Hey lovely welcome back, hope you're well. "Thanks guys better now! Somehow I’ve managed to land a flexible job with enough variety and learning to keep my ND brain entertained. But everything was a bit too much. Sorry for leaving without saying anything | |||
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""Seeing friends" is near enough the truth surely? Well when I tried this with another woman called Sue yesterday, Sue asked, innocently, "What are you going to do?" Oooh. Awkward moment. My first thought was to say, you wouldn't be into what I have in mind. (Or maybe she would be.)
You see, one of my Aspy traits is I notice and talk about details. When I try to be deliberately vague I feel uncomfortable.
Yea I'm the same as you. I don't enjoy lying (I can feel the lie actually harming my character), so I have to be very careful with what I share with others and be as vague as I can until I know it's safe to share certain details.
You could just say you're going to see friends to hang out. I mean, if they're very nosey, they'll probably ask you what you're gonna get up to and all the deeper details.. but you can even respond to that with 'well we're just gonna go with the flow of the day/evening'. Which is true!
I dislike telling lies too but the amount of lies I've had to tell to get out to clubs over the years is shocking! Mother is rather nosey and remembers so many finer details as my memory has got worse over the past couple of years it's been harder and I've tripped myself up a few times haha. I can get away with it nowadays though cus I just say I'm out with Rod.
Can't be any worse than when my mother ratted out my dad for watching porn on his tablet...... they are in their 70s....
I was like "this is none of my business" and "he can do what he likes in his own home with his own devices...he's still a compos mentis adult." Dunno what she thought I was going to do....take away his tablet like a toddler?
I've already got one toddler in my head to deal with I don't need another adult toddler to parent right now. " | |||
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"Sorry for leaving abruptly the last time. Back on the ND club
(SweetCherry)
Hey lovely welcome back, hope you're well.
Thanks guys better now! Somehow I’ve managed to land a flexible job with enough variety and learning to keep my ND brain entertained. But everything was a bit too much. Sorry for leaving without saying anything " | |||
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"Started a new job with flexible hours, rocked my first client meeting and found a key my manager had been missing for years. I also handled a phobia of mine really well. Alcohol may have assisted but I'm still calling it a winning week. " Good stuff! Defo a winning week | |||
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"Sorry for leaving abruptly the last time. Back on the ND club
(SweetCherry)
Hey lovely welcome back, hope you're well.
Thanks guys better now! Somehow I’ve managed to land a flexible job with enough variety and learning to keep my ND brain entertained. But everything was a bit too much. Sorry for leaving without saying anything "Welcome back! | |||
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"Well, my Mum didn't ask on Saturday 18th, where are you going tomorrow? She just said, good luck with the long walk next weekend. You know, a TV drama script based on my life at the moment -- would it be rejected as too implausible!" | |||
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