FabSwingers.com forum: Sapiosexual or Sapiophobic ?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just wanted to get a general vote of confidence or what so experienced swingers prefer and get turned on by - Is your preference for sapiosexuality - where one comes with some level of intelligence in their conversations and is ok looking or sapiophobic - where any level of intelligence is off putting and its only and only about looks.

I will vote first - I have strong preference for Sapiosexuality.

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

Sapiosexual - intelligence is

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I'm not put off by intelligence but I'm not turned on by it either. I do find people who are knowledgeable about many things very interesting, you can learn so much and have great conversations

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as potential meets drive a Ford fiesta, I am up for it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm not put off by intelligence but I'm not turned on by it either. I do find people who are knowledgeable about many things very interesting, you can learn so much and have great conversations "

Should have have clarified - for me being knowledgeable is not intelligence. For that I got google. Its about how people think and take decisions based on the knowledge they have.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I'm not put off by intelligence but I'm not turned on by it either. I do find people who are knowledgeable about many things very interesting, you can learn so much and have great conversations

Should have have clarified - for me being knowledgeable is not intelligence. For that I got google. Its about how people think and take decisions based on the knowledge they have. "

I don't think being knowledgeable is the same as intelligence either, I should have been clearer too. Although I think a certain level of intelligence is needed to seek out knowledge and question what you read, hear and see. For me the two are intertwined. A truly knowledgeable person will be intelligent too in my opinion. However I think its possible to be intelligent with a very narrow range of knowledge

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By *bostCouple
over a year ago

glasgow

Although we struggle to spell it, sapiosexual every time. There has to be wit, intelligence and banter.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Should have have clarified - for me being knowledgeable is not intelligence. For that I got google. Its about how people think and take decisions based on the knowledge they have.

Fully agree

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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago

Sandwich

Sapiosexual definitely.

Someone that looks lovely but has a personality as dull as ditchwater won’t get my juices flowing.

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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago

Wherever I lay my hat

I don't like the term sapiosexual. I find it condescending and a turn off. I like people who are interesting, informed, easy to chat to and have a great sense of humour.

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By *limeyoMan
over a year ago

Oswestry

Is it just me that gets wound up by people who use these words, sets alarm bells ringing with me.

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By *ackbydemandMan
over a year ago

Leicester

[Removed by poster at 26/01/23 15:20:07]

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By *ackbydemandMan
over a year ago

Leicester

Definitely sapiosexual, not that I don't get immediate animal arousal at a particularly sexy person. But if they open their mouth and it's like TOWIE then it's an immediate boner killer. But, if they are witty, literate, clearly hiding a frightening level of intelligence then it sends me off the charts.

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By *limeyoMan
over a year ago

Oswestry

"I don't like the term sapiosexual. I find it condescending and a turn off. I like people who are interesting, informed, easy to chat to and have a great sense of humour."

I was just about to write nearly the exact same thing that I find it condescending. In fact I think it’s a term tended to be used by people with lesser intelligence

Personally I talk to people to see if I get on with them, not how good their knowledge of obscure vocabulary is

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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"I'm not put off by intelligence but I'm not turned on by it either. I do find people who are knowledgeable about many things very interesting, you can learn so much and have great conversations

Should have have clarified - for me being knowledgeable is not intelligence. For that I got google. Its about how people think and take decisions based on the knowledge they have. "

I would consider this to be common sense. In my career I have worked with some brilliant minds including Nobel prize winners that were at the back of the queue when that was being dished out!

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By *aribbean King 1985Man
over a year ago

South West London

Common sense would say Sapiosexual because I describe myself as one

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By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

We got chatting with a guy in a club once. Almost immediately he described himself as sapiosexual. He then proceeded to bore us silly as he reeled off a whole pre-rehersed manifesto of facts and superior beliefs. I don't think we got more than a handful of words in during the entire 30min "conversation"...

We like to chat and make friends so people need to be able to hold a decent chat. But that's personality, not intelligence.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We got chatting with a guy in a club once. Almost immediately he described himself as sapiosexual. He then proceeded to bore us silly as he reeled off a whole pre-rehersed manifesto of facts and superior beliefs. I don't think we got more than a handful of words in during the entire 30min "conversation"...

We like to chat and make friends so people need to be able to hold a decent chat. But that's personality, not intelligence. "

Intelligence is using the same ratio of mouth to ears

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't like the term sapiosexual. I find it condescending and a turn off. I like people who are interesting, informed, easy to chat to and have a great sense of humour."

This. Don't get me wrong, a basic level of intelligence (both intellectual and emotional) is vital, but it often comes off quite arrogantly.

As long as the sense of humour is there I'm happy

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

I am simple I just mostly function on fab with a basic level of physical peak interest first and foremost , not really that bothered about the other persons life story so to speak as I am not looking to make life long friends from this site generally .. (it has happened over the years I have kept in touch socially with a couple people )

Now with dating then its totally physical initially to attract then the mental capacity / interest to keep it ticking along overall ... thats just as dating I I hold in much more importance / regard than casual hookups mostly one offs .

Some on here have said they find me quite detached but still with a playful manner of chat , or I am elusive mentally to spend time with .. one of my last meets a week after the meet messaged me to say they realised that even after spending 4/5hours with me and chatting they barely found out anything about my life / or me as a person other than the base level stuff .

As long as people can be relaxed and some humour to get along I am golden with that .

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By *eadinthecloudsMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Intelligence is hot

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I'd prefer they had some modicum of intelligence ,but I'm not turned on by intelligence on its own .

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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

Definitely not phobic, providing someone doesn't act as if they're smarter than me.

I once had a social with a gorgeous bloke who explained his job as working for the foreign office, followed by the comment "you probably don't know what that means"...

Unsurprisingly, I never met him again

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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"Definitely not phobic, providing someone doesn't act as if they're smarter than me.

I once had a social with a gorgeous bloke who explained his job as working for the foreign office, followed by the comment "you probably don't know what that means"...

Unsurprisingly, I never met him again "

I bet he used the word sapiosexual on his profile!

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By *aite5793Man
over a year ago

stockton

Sapiosexuality, at the end of day it’s all about the Brain

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By *rolicUsCouple
over a year ago

Alluringly mysterious

For me sapio means a connection of minds- I don’t associate that with intelligence per se but a person I and we love a good conversation with. Followed ideally by fucking each other’s brains out. Much more satisfying!

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By *ycallMan
over a year ago

Dorking

As long as someone is within the normal range I could probably find them attractive in a swinging type scenario.

However that being said I would struggle to have a relationship with someone significantly less intelligent than me. Not because I couldn’t respect them or anything along those lines but more because for a long term relationship I think it is important that you can converse on a similar level

Weirdly despite having no real qualifications and totally fucking up my education I apparently have an IQ in the top 1%.

Obviously IQ is a bit of a pointless metric as it just measures how good you are at pattern recognition, but like I said we would have to be able to communicate on a similar level and in that sense I would find intelligence to be an attractive trait.

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

I had a friend who stated her preference for sapiosexuals on her profile and had more than one nan message her stated thstvthey weren't sure what it was but was willing to give it a go...

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

I'm very much a sapiosexual though not a huge fan of the term. Ultimately I value intelligent, informed and passionate conversation with people in my life

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Definitely not phobic, providing someone doesn't act as if they're smarter than me.

I once had a social with a gorgeous bloke who explained his job as working for the foreign office, followed by the comment "you probably don't know what that means"...

Unsurprisingly, I never met him again "

one of the first signs of intelligence is when you are considerate and don’t assume they know what you know. Even if it’s as basic as something as silly as making tea. I keep saying knowing or not knowing is not an indication of any intelligence.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Some on here are super opposed to intelligence with the reason of someone behaving like they know it all. I think some have gone through most of their life associating words like smart, knowledgeable, high IQ, intelligent, as a group words that mean the same thing, when it’s not.

In simplistic terms it’s about relationship compatibility based on being able to find commonality on every level without being flipant or arrogant rather than one’s absolute worth based on their general knowledge.

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By *ycallMan
over a year ago

Dorking

Often it’s people who aren’t actually intelligent that seem to think that they know it all. Donald Trump would be a perfect example of this, dumb as a rock and arrogant as fuck.

It’s impossible to know even a small fraction of everything. Look at quotes from people like Einstein and they blatantly acknowledge that there is way more that they do not understand about the universe than they do. Knowledge is basically a never ending quest, it will always be unfulfilled.

Also as you say knowledge and intelligence are not the same thing. Wikipedia is full of knowledge but being nothing but a database has zero intelligence. Knowledge is more about recollection, absorbing and processing information whereas raw intelligence is just problem solving ability.

Not to mention there are different types of intelligence. As I mentioned in a previous post I can blitz IQ tests fairly well but being a bit autistic emotionally I am a lost cause. Most people beat me hands down at emotional intelligence as they can easily understand and sympathise with how others are feeling.

Having a high IQ certainly doesn’t make someone better or more important than anyone else unless that intelligence is needed for a specific task. Quite often it is the more well rounded people that succeed in life as they have a whole bunch of other positive attributes that many high IQ people lack.

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By *ndentMan
over a year ago

Melton Mowbray

Defiantly sapiosexual. Barring a random encounter where we don't talk but physically it clicks there needs to be more there than a hot body.

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By *orkshrCplCouple
over a year ago

Ripon

I look for a meeting of minds as well as body x

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By *ttentiveRabbitMan
over a year ago

Lymington

Out the choices

Sapiosexuality

However, reality it's someone who has confidence but not arrogance.

A beautiful smile and a broad range of knowledge that can be discussed and divulged into.

I've a real attraction to women in business, as I understand some of the virtues needed, I find them a massive turn on

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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

"Definitely not phobic, providing someone doesn't act as if they're smarter than me.

I once had a social with a gorgeous bloke who explained his job as working for the foreign office, followed by the comment "you probably don't know what that means"...

Unsurprisingly, I never met him again

I bet he used the word sapiosexual on his profile!

I didn't grace his profile with a second glance!

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By *ttentiveRabbitMan
over a year ago

Lymington

"Definitely not phobic, providing someone doesn't act as if they're smarter than me.

I once had a social with a gorgeous bloke who explained his job as working for the foreign office, followed by the comment "you probably don't know what that means"...

Unsurprisingly, I never met him again

I bet he used the word sapiosexual on his profile!

I didn't grace his profile with a second glance!

Sounded condescending, you know like when they talk down to you.

I joke :P

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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

"Definitely not phobic, providing someone doesn't act as if they're smarter than me.

I once had a social with a gorgeous bloke who explained his job as working for the foreign office, followed by the comment "you probably don't know what that means"...

Unsurprisingly, I never met him again

I bet he used the word sapiosexual on his profile!

I didn't grace his profile with a second glance!

Sounded condescending, you know like when they talk down to you.

I joke :P"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I had a friend who stated her preference for sapiosexuals on her profile and had more than one nan message her stated thstvthey weren't sure what it was but was willing to give it a go..."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love how the options are sapiosexual, or sapiophobic, like you have to be completely one or the other.

I’ll be checking the ‘indifferent’ box thanks

Badge x

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