FabSwingers.com forum: EFFORT and the complete lack of

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I guess this question is irrelevant in the forums because I think a lot of people that use the forums care about their profiles.

Why do you think it is that a lot do not put any effort into their profiles, honestly this probably refers to single men the most. We really struggle to find profiles that offer any positive insight into the person beyond knowing every millimetre of their cock. We have been actively looking for single guys (as well as girls and couples) but damn it's hard work. There may be some good guys contacting us but they give nothing at all to draw any attention. (I know our profile is not perfect but we have good recent picture to send people we are interested in)

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By *reudian_slipsMan
over a year ago

Bristol

I think because it takes time and effort to think about what to write, and perhaps also there’s some nervousness about revealing too much in case it’s recognisable maybe?

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By *irty-pairCouple
over a year ago

South Essex

We’ve experienced the same, OP. It’s so frustrating!

What we find just as bad is when we respond to a well written couples profile and get a series of one liners back. It makes building a sexy rapport virtually impossible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We’ve experienced the same, OP. It’s so frustrating!

What we find just as bad is when we respond to a well written couples profile and get a series of one liners back. It makes building a sexy rapport virtually impossible. "

This frustrates the life out of us! We can spend a good while writing a message trying to get to know people and we get zero engagement.

Enough to drive you crazy!

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

We try and put effort into ours, some will like it some won't.

What you think is effort for you others won't and vice versa.

One line bio's & close up genitals are the only off-putting thing really, although you never know how much effort that photo of that cock at that angle took

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It does make you wonder how many of the profiles are genuine doesn't it? It is nice to see a well written profile with some good photos that leave a little to the imagination.

Well done to those with profiles above. Love them.

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By *winging Sally SeanCouple
over a year ago

Warks / Northants Border

I think for their initial period after joining, we should expect profiles to be a little bland. It might take a week or two for someone to grasp what to write in a profile, then create something unique and snappy for their own. This then leads to what Freudian mentioned - the amount of time it takes to think of what to write. Many cannot be bothered to spend that much time, because the balance of effort versus reward isn't great. They put time and effort into creating a new profile, but still have every message ignored.

Maybe this causes a cycle of ill judged thoughts? Why create a decent profile even I'll be ignored? Messages after ignored because my profile is crap?

We try to create a new profile about every six months. We like to inject humour into ours. Our current one doesn't quite reach the mark, and needs rewriting. Something which is in progress.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

For us it's not a problem, but the percentage of guys we do engage with are married. It is one of the first questions we ask. We understand a degree of secrecy but at least have recent and decent private pics.

To me, if my profile was not working, I would question why and put the effort to change it, otherwise what is the point?

Yes, there are a huge number of fake profiles and picture collectors, but they are easy to spot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think because it takes time and effort to think about what to write, and perhaps also there’s some nervousness about revealing too much in case it’s recognisable maybe?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For us it's not a problem, but the percentage of guys we do engage with are married. It is one of the first questions we ask. We understand a degree of secrecy but at least have recent and decent private pics.

To me, if my profile was not working, I would question why and put the effort to change it, otherwise what is the point?

Yes, there are a huge number of fake profiles and picture collectors, but they are easy to spot."

Some people can't spot the fakes because they're thinking with their cocks.

It makes life easier as the good profiles stand out.

Why would a man need anything other than a multitude of close up cock shots and "wanna fuck" profile text on a site for swingers......

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

The site is free to join is half the problem. Plus people can happily interact on here for years without being photo verified or verified by someone else. If you can’t prove you are who you claim you are after a reasonable length of time you profile should be shut down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The site is free to join is half the problem. Plus people can happily interact on here for years without being photo verified or verified by someone else. If you can’t prove you are who you claim you are after a reasonable length of time you profile should be shut down "

Why though? Some people are voyeurs and don't want to meet and hence don'tneed verifications. The exhibitionists can't exist without voyeurs.

If people used their common sense and didn't interact with unverified people (if that's what they care about) there wouldn't be an issue.

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By *poolfunswingcplCouple
over a year ago

liverpool

We look at our profile as a means of ‘selling ourselves’ to potential playmates. It’s your opportunity to attract people and, at the same time, let people know your likes & dislikes. If done properly, it can save a lot of wasted time further down the line. It takes work but the results are worth it

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

While I acknowledge that initially upon joining it make take some time for people to get a decent profile arranged (and it could be said that it’s an ongoing process), I do think there are two related factors that are a particular problem with single men…

1. A very large minority, if not the majority, of single men on this site treat it as INSTASHAG and expect to get laid with minimum effort.

2. We now have a lot of people that are more accustomed to dating sites like Tinder, where the vast majority of decision making is immediate and based on one or two pics then swipe left or right… again it’s a low effort process that is fuelled by the immediacy of today’s society.

Essentially people have become accustomed to either not wanting or not needing to sell themselves beyond a nice pic or as some men seem to think, a veiny appendage

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By *ustus555Couple
over a year ago

NG 21

Well said

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

Why though? Some people are voyeurs and don't want to meet and hence don'tneed verifications. The exhibitionists can't exist without voyeurs.

If people used their common sense and didn't interact with unverified people (if that's what they care about) there wouldn't be an issue.

Understand all that but the point I’m making is it’s fundamentally wrong that someone can come on here as a man and pretend to be a woman and visa versa . Take you for example you could be anyone for all I know!

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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"While I acknowledge that initially upon joining it make take some time for people to get a decent profile arranged (and it could be said that it’s an ongoing process), I do think there are two related factors that are a particular problem with single men…

1. A very large minority, if not the majority, of single men on this site treat it as INSTASHAG and expect to get laid with minimum effort.

Essentially people have become accustomed to either not wanting or not needing to sell themselves beyond a nice pic or as some men seem to think, a veiny appendage "

You took the words out of my mouth and typed them far more eloquently than I could. This is spot on imho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why though? Some people are voyeurs and don't want to meet and hence don'tneed verifications. The exhibitionists can't exist without voyeurs.

If people used their common sense and didn't interact with unverified people (if that's what they care about) there wouldn't be an issue.

Yes you keep inferring that about me. That's ok.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1. A very large minority, if not the majority, of single men on this site treat it as INSTASHAG and expect to get laid with minimum effort.

Essentially people have become accustomed to either not wanting or not needing to sell themselves beyond a nice pic or as some men seem to think, a veiny appendage "

People are reduced to tick boxes.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

All these things already posted are true, but there’s also another side. Some people are just not that good with words, or with photos. Or lack confidence in writing. Or in themselves.

Me, I find the ability to string a sentence together sexy.

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

Why though? Some people are voyeurs and don't want to meet and hence don'tneed verifications. The exhibitionists can't exist without voyeurs.

If people used their common sense and didn't interact with unverified people (if that's what they care about) there wouldn't be an issue.

Yes you keep inferring that about me. That's ok."

Not really just using your profile to emphasise my point. I’m not saying you are not who you say you are but how does another fab member you engage know based on zero verification? That’s all I am saying. As I said IMHO and it is only my opinion ( which I am entitled to) I think it’s wrong that people don’t have to at least be photo verified

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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago

Wherever I lay my hat

Why though? Some people are voyeurs and don't want to meet and hence don'tneed verifications. The exhibitionists can't exist without voyeurs.

If people used their common sense and didn't interact with unverified people (if that's what they care about) there wouldn't be an issue.

Yes you keep inferring that about me. That's ok.

I don't understand the point about photo verification. When joining I had to provide a photo of me holding a piece of paper with my username and date on it. Isn't this standard??

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By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

It should be and yes it’s not difficult is it

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"I don't understand the point about photo verification. When joining I had to provide a photo of me holding a piece of paper with my username and date on it. Isn't this standard?? "

I don’t think it’s mandatory. Most of us do it though!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why though? Some people are voyeurs and don't want to meet and hence don'tneed verifications. The exhibitionists can't exist without voyeurs.

If people used their common sense and didn't interact with unverified people (if that's what they care about) there wouldn't be an issue.

Yes you keep inferring that about me. That's ok.

But why on earth would anyone engage with a profile like mine? I still get messages from men and couples asking for a meet.

I absolutely agree you are entitled to your opinion, apologies if I made it seem otherwise.

I can see the point in a single woman profile having a photo verification if s/he hasn't got any in person veris. It would stop some men from faking women (or couple) profiles. But it's also easy to avoid those profiles.

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By *wingin CatMan
over a year ago

London

Probably because they think a fuck is their god-given right, and don't need to make an effort? IMHO, of course.

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By *ootnootboopCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire

"It does make you wonder how many of the profiles are genuine doesn't it? It is nice to see a well written profile with some good photos that leave a little to the imagination.

Well done to those with profiles above. Love them. "

When we see a single guy profile with more than a few basic, disjointed sentences and a departure from every photo in their gallery being of their genitals, we tend to at least give that profile a good read and see if they match up to the kind of person we are looking for.

In other words, there quite rare!

Our profile could do with a bit of a rewrite and improvement though...

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By *astandFeistyCouple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

We're not really too fussed about guys who make no effort, it's their problem because there's a million others to step into their space.

For us, it's more frustrating with women who don't write profiles. Maybe because there's so few of them.

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By *egvisir71Man
over a year ago

Derbyshire

I have also messaged couples and single females and got 1,2 or 3 word replies all the way through the conversation. No rapport can be built, no flirty banter or anything, like herding cats tbh. So not just single guys fail to put effort it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its a filter for us when we are meeting.

Zero effort/banter in the profile = not into the banter/openness & meet build up, so basically not our kinda vibe.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I believe I've put the same level of effort into my profile as I do in my forum engagement but over the last year I'll admit to not making any effort elsewhere on the site.

I haven't sent a first contact message in 3 years but because of life in general and poor health since this time last year I can't really be arsed maintaining any new connections.

While I do agree that lack of effort in profiles doesn't help I firmly believe that applies to everyone and not just men.

I've seen lots of posts from women and couples with one line bios complaining about the quality of mail they receive or about profiles full of cock pics and find it ironic.

I know women and couples are never short of messages but surely if you want to attract a particular type of person you should give them something to work with?

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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"I believe I've put the same level of effort into my profile as I do in my forum engagement but over the last year I'll admit to not making any effort elsewhere on the site.

I haven't sent a first contact message in 3 years but because of life in general and poor health since this time last year I can't really be arsed maintaining any new connections.

While I do agree that lack of effort in profiles doesn't help I firmly believe that applies to everyone and not just men.

I've seen lots of posts from women and couples with one line bios complaining about the quality of mail they receive or about profiles full of cock pics and find it ironic.

I know women and couples are never short of messages but surely if you want to attract a particular type of person you should give them something to work with? "

In the interests of equality I second this. Most of the messages I get are from single guys but I get a lot of messages from couples and the occasional woman. The majority of those are equally monosyllabic, short and/or unengaging resulting in me responding in kind or hitting delete.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

[Removed by poster at 13/01/23 12:11:22]

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

Yeah, I’m 100% equal opportunities when it comes to ignoring people who make chatting feel like hard work.

(Had to delete my first attempt at posting that. Too many typos …)

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By *hil most chillMan
over a year ago

South East & Europe

I'm sure a lot of mens profiles are terrible (I don't look at many, so don't have a lot of data to base this on, other than what I hear when I chat to others), and I probably can't talk because the majority of mine is tongue in cheek, but I have to say I see a lot of women's profiles here with nothing more than a line or 2. And I know the sad truth is that it doesn't matter - their inboxes will still fill up because they are in short supply and most men only care about pics and fucking anyone who lets them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm happy with mine to be honest

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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago

nr Stamford

"While I do agree that lack of effort in profiles doesn't help I firmly believe that applies to everyone and not just men."

Simply based on quantity, we get more awful messages from single guys than from single women or couples.

But based on percentages, a higher number of those messages from single women and couples are one line "free now?" type messages, and if they're not then the conversation tends to be all us and just one word replies from them.

Overall, single guys put so much more effort in.

(Bry)

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By *vanabeusedTV/TS
over a year ago

somewhere

[Removed by poster at 13/01/23 12:31:55]

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By *r-8-BBCMan
over a year ago

LONDON

"I guess this question is irrelevant in the forums because I think a lot of people that use the forums care about their profiles.

Give an example of what you'd like to see in a profile that would make you interested

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Some think just because the site what it is, its not relevant to have anything other than few pictures but if struggle at the first hurdle how is even a social going to be successful not being able to exchange a decent conversation. I've noticed are women with nothing within the bio as well but odd one have been friends number of years and know are genuine off the site

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"I guess this question is irrelevant in the forums because I think a lot of people that use the forums care about their profiles.

Give an example of what you'd like to see in a profile that would make you interested "

What do you see when you view others. Remember it needs to fit around you. It's their personality and what makes them tick

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm happy with mine to be honest"

Yup. Pictures are good full length and you have taken the time to write a decent amount. Also great not to see loads of dick pics.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm sure a lot of mens profiles are terrible (I don't look at many, so don't have a lot of data to base this on, other than what I hear when I chat to others), and I probably can't talk because the majority of mine is tongue in cheek, but I have to say I see a lot of women's profiles here with nothing more than a line or 2. And I know the sad truth is that it doesn't matter - their inboxes will still fill up because they are in short supply and most men only care about pics and fucking anyone who lets them."

Pictures are good and clear, humour it great and makes you want to read it all. Sadly we have seen very few like this.

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