FabSwingers.com forum: Depression and issues

By *mMrbrightside OP Man
over a year ago

wakefield

Thought long and hard about posting this as I didn’t want it to seem like a woe is me kind of post

I try and look at things positively and Iv never really suffered from depression.

However with the days getting shorter, colder and not getting any younger I find myself having low days were I analyse all sorts of silly stuff and have to take myself away from fab as things sometimes get a bit much and can be magnified

The constant messaging sending with no replies

Next month I hit an age milestone and I’ll fall off peoples search radar

Been single (enjoy it 90% of the time) again an age thing I suppose

I know I’m been silly as far more people have loads more things to worry about

What do you do to cheer yourself up?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great minds think alike, I think we both posted something along similar lines

I cheer myself up by keeping myself busy doing things I love… making music, spending quality time with my dog (no wife or kids so he’s great company), spending time with old friends, discovering new authors, taking holidays (self employed so no need to ask for time off, I can go on a whim if I feel like it)

It may sound selfish, but basically I’ll do whatever I feel like at the time

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By *mMrbrightside OP Man
over a year ago

wakefield

"Great minds think alike, I think we both posted something along similar lines

It may sound selfish, but basically I’ll do whatever I feel like at the time "

Cheers bud, self employed myself so think I need to pinch some of your ideas oh and maybe get a dog lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Talk to people. Don't try and fuck, try and make some friends. We have great friends from fab that we never played with but love them dearly xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Talk to people. Don't try and fuck, try and make some friends. We have great friends from fab that we never played with but love them dearly xx"
I would love to be friends with you guys

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By *rtyIanMan
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

I meditate

Get outdoors, wild swim (cold water)

Read, listen to music

Talk to friends

This place ain’t all about sex, like the poster above says

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By *humper.Man
over a year ago

northumberland/scotland

I've battled mental health, pretty much my entire life. Feel free to pm me if you want man.

But journaling really helps.

Get outdoors when you can.

Eat/sleep regularly

Spend less time on your phone

Little things that you can do daily, make a massive difference. Once they become habit, you do them without trying.

I think the change I the weather had got us all feeling a bit down but, you've got this man

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By *humper.Man
over a year ago

northumberland/scotland

Looking at the other comments, definitely get a dog haha.

I'm self employed too. I knocked it down to 4 days a week at the start of the year. I do a mon/tue then pick up my kids, take a Wednesday off with them, then do thu/Fri.

Getting a work/life balance is huge. Working alone it's too easy to slip into your own noise. Listen to music, podcasts etc if that's the case

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By *mMrbrightside OP Man
over a year ago

wakefield

"I've battled mental health, pretty much my entire life. Feel free to pm me if you want man.

But journaling really helps.

Get outdoors when you can.

Eat/sleep regularly

Spend less time on your phone

Little things that you can do daily, make a massive difference. Once they become habit, you do them without trying.

I think the change I the weather had got us all feeling a bit down but, you've got this man "

Cheers man appreciate that, think spending less time on my phone will definitely help

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By *im67Man
over a year ago

London

Where you mention the days getting shorter there's a syndrome called SAD a lot of people suffer from it can't remember what it stands for but it's to do with a lack of daylight.

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By *rtyIanMan
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

seasonal affective disorder

You can get lamps to help with it

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

"I know I’m been silly as far more people have loads more things to worry about

Mental health isn't a competition, yiu aren't being silly and other people's issues don't invalidate your own thoughts.

You've dine the right thing in reaching out

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By *mber and FireCouple
over a year ago

Carmarthenshire

[Removed by poster at 17/11/22 13:02:15]

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By *mber and FireCouple
over a year ago

Carmarthenshire

It's the simplest thing for me. Getting fresh air, whatever the weather. I can fall into a hermit lifestyle really quickly when I'm depressed, and getting outside feels like a monumental effort.

But when I manage it and wander barefoot on the beach, or climb my favourite tree overlooking the town, everything starts to feel so much clearer. And if anything, its a victory for the day when victories seem distant. - D

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By *umplayerMan
over a year ago

Chester

Lots of great advice in the comments above. Mental health is a complete nightmare and can just come out of nowhere. Someone above mentioned journaling which is really helpful, but it’s also important to try and journal when you’re not feeling down too, this way when the low times come you can read back and see that it’s only temporary.

It’s also useful to try and challenge or question the negative thoughts to see if you can validate them with fact or are they simply just thoughts that aren’t necessarily true.

I find any type of exercise is good, in particular I’ve found swimming helps mainly because I’m crap at it so really need to think about what I’m doing, that way I tend to forget about everything else at least when I’m in the pool!

Like another comment says…feel free to message anytime you feel down or just want to chat.

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By *mMrbrightside OP Man
over a year ago

wakefield

"Lots of great advice in the comments above. Mental health is a complete nightmare and can just come out of nowhere. Someone above mentioned journaling which is really helpful, but it’s also important to try and journal when you’re not feeling down too, this way when the low times come you can read back and see that it’s only temporary.

It’s also useful to try and challenge or question the negative thoughts to see if you can validate them with fact or are they simply just thoughts that aren’t necessarily true.

Like another comment says…feel free to message anytime you feel down or just want to chat. "

Thanks all for the advice and kind words

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As others have said, I’m always happy to listen if they want a friendly ear

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By *adCherriesCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire/Northwest

"Talk to people. Don't try and fuck, try and make some friends. We have great friends from fab that we never played with but love them dearly xx"

To be fair looking at the OP verifications he does get out there with socialising/events.

As others have said SAD sounds like a possibility, hope things brighten (no pun intended) up x

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By *ose and her beastCouple
over a year ago

Watford

Time to take a break

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By *mMrbrightside OP Man
over a year ago

wakefield

"To be fair looking at the OP verifications he does get out there with socialising/events.

As others have said SAD sounds like a possibility, hope things brighten (no pun intended) up x"

I do like the social side of fabbing and nothing like meeting new people

Fingers crossed I’ll snap out of it in a day or two. Suppose it doesn’t help going on holiday when the weather wasn’t bad and then coming back and the clocks have changed and everything’s wet and dark

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By *atisfiedSighWoman
over a year ago

NW Wiltshire

"...I knocked it down to 4 days a week at the start of the year. I do a mon/tue then pick up my kids, take a Wednesday off with them, then do thu/Fri. "

I had the same work pattern in a previous job and I loved having that midweek break to refresh and get stuff done. It was a wonderful work/life balance and I really wish I could do that again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Work is a great distraction lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try a therapy lamp for the Seasonal Blues.

Do you see friends?

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By *iddle ManMan
over a year ago

Walsall

"Thought long and hard about posting this as I didn’t want it to seem like a woe is me kind of post

I try and look at things positively and Iv never really suffered from depression.

The constant messaging sending with no replies

Next month I hit an age milestone and I’ll fall off peoples search radar

Been single (enjoy it 90% of the time) again an age thing I suppose

I know I’m been silly as far more people have loads more things to worry about

What do you do to cheer yourself up? "

I do things that make me happy, whether that be with friends or excersie, even just a run cheers me up. It's hard at times and fitting enjoyment in around work is tough, and with what seems bad news at every turn these days, it can be difficult for some people.

I try not to let thing get me down and take my mind of things, don't take my self too serious.

I will try one bit of advise. This site does nothing for 99% of male members confidence or self esteem. Look at fab as fun and enjoy the forums. It is not a hook up site or a sex site, take the positives and enjoy the interaction. If you get anywhere or anything from here then we'll done, but don't beat your self up over fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can empathise with OP. I too get down from time to time. More so around holidays such as Christmas, new years, Easter etc. It seems to highlight how alone I feel due to my ex alienating my kids from me.

Anyway I spend as much time outside walking as possible in winter time and distract myself at stressful holiday times.

Good luck

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By *mMrbrightside OP Man
over a year ago

wakefield

"Try a therapy lamp for the Seasonal Blues.

Do you see friends?"

Yes not as much as I should though now with the weather closing in

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By *mMrbrightside OP Man
over a year ago

wakefield

"Thought long and hard about posting this as I didn’t want it to seem like a woe is me kind of post

I try and look at things positively and Iv never really suffered from depression.

The constant messaging sending with no replies

Next month I hit an age milestone and I’ll fall off peoples search radar

Been single (enjoy it 90% of the time) again an age thing I suppose

I know I’m been silly as far more people have loads more things to worry about

What do you do to cheer yourself up?

I try not to let thing get me down and take my mind of things, don't take my self too serious.

I will try one bit of advice. This site does nothing for 99% of male members confidence or self esteem. Look at fab as fun and enjoy the forums. It is not a hook up site or a sex site, take the positives and enjoy the interaction. If you get anywhere or anything from here then we'll done, but don't beat your self up over fab. "

Thanks mate

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By *mMrbrightside OP Man
over a year ago

wakefield

"I can empathise with OP. I too get down from time to time. More so around holidays such as Christmas, new years, Easter etc. It seems to highlight how alone I feel due to my ex alienating my kids from me.

Anyway I spend as much time outside walking as possible in winter time and distract myself at stressful holiday times.

Good luck

Thanks, same to you

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By *rettyflamingoWoman
over a year ago

Where the flamboyance of flamingos live

I’ve learnt to share it . Talk to others about you feel.

I have made good friends some from here and they have also posted on this thread, they know who they are . I think they know me more than I know myself sometimes.

And it’s okay to not feel okay all of the time. Big hugs x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a light for SAD in my home office. It genuinely helps x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've battled mental health, pretty much my entire life. Feel free to pm me if you want man.

But journaling really helps.

Get outdoors when you can.

Eat/sleep regularly

Spend less time on your phone

Little things that you can do daily, make a massive difference. Once they become habit, you do them without trying.

I think the change I the weather had got us all feeling a bit down but, you've got this man "

I'm like this in the first part.

Agree with all that's said.

Alot of people suffer from vitamin d deficiency, which is linked to depression and (sad), taking a good vitamin d supplement will help also a sun light too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thought long and hard about posting this as I didn’t want it to seem like a woe is me kind of post

I try and look at things positively and Iv never really suffered from depression.

The constant messaging sending with no replies

Next month I hit an age milestone and I’ll fall off peoples search radar

Been single (enjoy it 90% of the time) again an age thing I suppose

I know I’m been silly as far more people have loads more things to worry about

What do you do to cheer yourself up? "

Weightlifting when I can, failing that, a long drive in the car to nowhere in particular with my music as loud as possible

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

I’d get yourself a light box to increase your moods in the gloomier months. Plenty of exercise works well for me too.

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