FabSwingers.com forum: Jealousy

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi Guys

Quick question from the male point of view. I am very interested to hear people's experience with how guys cope with seeing their partner pleasured better by another man than they themselves can.

I am quite open to it and as there is always someone better out than you in pretty much every walk of life sex would be no different.

My partner seems to worry about me in terms of this and is very caring.

My partner has a preference for example for a large penis. Of which I do not possess. Nothing I can do about that so I am happy to have her enjoy herself.

I personally would not want to be sheltered from it but embrace it. However there is an emotion connected to it but I can't quite put my finger on it as I love watching her being pleasured.

Has anyone had to deal with this?

Many thanks

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

I'd view the sex as different not better

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeah, nice way of thinking about it.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I think of it as however much you love a particular dish, you don't want to eat it every night.

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

some will say jealousy plays apart but me n hubs think different there is no room for jealousy in any part this lifestyle we've never been or had any jealousy but have seen it plenty of times with others and its ugly and destroys relationships ..

you wife knows you better than anyone else so maybe shes picked something up in you whiles chatting ..so id say its eime to sit down and talk some more because if there is a hint and you do go ahead then theres no going back its done and the seed is planted ..

some will say you only get jealous because of love but jealousy has no part in love its more a control thing..

sit down a chat and good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is she on here too, get her to tell her side

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks guys, I think it's probably more an ego thing rather than a jealous feeling. I don't feel anger it's more of a disappointment feeling. How do guys accept they are not the best there lover will have?

No she isn't she is more into Fetish so uses Fetlife. Other than here. I like to use the site for the forums. I find them very helpful.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I guess I'm just trying to find the best way to compartmentalise it. I thought there must of been loads of guys on here that have felt the same.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/10/22 19:32:41]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think of it as however much you love a particular dish, you don't want to eat it every night. "

I like this alot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think of it as however much you love a particular dish, you don't want to eat it every night. "

What if you’re vegan?

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By *inkForLifeCouple
over a year ago

North Shields

Depends on your relationship. For us, I don't enjoy watching her fucking other men, what I do enjoy is her dominance and her telling me that she is going out tonight to fuck other guys while I stay home.

We have a very sub/Domme relationship though, and she is very much the boss.

Me being able to give her the freedom to be a who she is, is what turns me on, not watching her with anyone else.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Depends on your relationship. For us, I don't enjoy watching her fucking other men, what I do enjoy is her dominance and her telling me that she is going out tonight to fuck other guys while I stay home.

We have a very sub/Domme relationship though, and she is very much the boss.

Me being able to give her the freedom to be a who she is, is what turns me on, not watching her with anyone else. "

I like that element but not all the time. I'm very much a switch. I just want to keep my confidence after she has had better. I hope this all makes sense. Maybe it's a thing guys don't discuss openly.

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

I absolutely love it!

It doesn't make sense to me to be jealous about that. If she gets a massage from a trained professional, I don't get jealous that he's better with his hands than me. I don't see sex really being all that different.

The other option is that she only ever sex that is less satisfying than when she's with me. And what would be the point of that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think of it as however much you love a particular dish, you don't want to eat it every night.

What if you’re vegan?

Vegans eat more than a carrot

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I absolutely love it!

The other option is that she only ever sex that is less satisfying than when she's with me. And what would be the point of that?"

Very good point, I definitely wouldn't want that. I want her to have incredible experiences.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"I'd view the sex as different not better"

This!

Unless you're suggesting that someone is utterly crap at all things sexual and that the only reason a couple swings is because the wife wants better.....

I think it would be a pretty rare thing for that situation to arise frequently.

Define 'better' for us OP. It would really help the direction responses go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think a distinction between jealousy and envy needs to be made. I am not a jealous person but I would be envious.

For me jealousy is negative/toxic emotion whereas envy is a I wish that was me but I am pleased you are enjoying it emotion.

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By *ymbunnyfitCouple
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

It’s massive turn on seeing how guys do things different with her and seeing how she responds

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'd view the sex as different not better

This!

Unless you're suggesting that someone is utterly crap at all things sexual and that the only reason a couple swings is because the wife wants better.....

I think it would be a pretty rare thing for that situation to arise frequently.

Define 'better' for us OP. It would really help the direction responses go.

I don't believe it's because we have bad sex. We have an amazing and varied sex life. She is very much into things that I haven't experienced yet. So I'm catching up.

I haven't actually been with anyone else myself yet so maybe when I do it balances out a little.

I would suggest better being with a more skilled lover or experienced in the things she likes, bigger penis (as that is her thing). Things like that really.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It’s massive turn on seeing how guys do things different with her and seeing how she responds "

Yes I love the thought of that.

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By *ymbunnyfitCouple
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

It’s massive part of why we let others join us as love showing her off and seeing guys get worked up over her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s massive part of why we let others join us as love showing her off and seeing guys get worked up over her "

I want to be that man

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It’s massive part of why we let others join us as love showing her off and seeing guys get worked up over her "

Yeah that is very hot. I love that.

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

OP, are you aware that your profile says you're a single guy?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OP, are you aware that your profile says you're a single guy?"

We haven't created a couple account as yet. As I explained before I use the site for the forums to ask questions and research ??.

My partner is more into Fetish so uses a different site.

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By *ymbunnyfitCouple
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

Nothing better than watching her strip for me and other guys then seeing her play with another cock or two. Seeing how they respond to her as I know how good she it with hands and mouth

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OP, are you aware that your profile says you're a single guy?

We haven't created a couple account as yet. As I explained before I use the site for the forums to ask questions and research ??.

My partner is more into Fetish so uses a different site. "

Sorry question marks were supposed to be an emoji

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a meet with a couple once and they guy got really jealous and started blowing his top. It was not a nice experience, he was a big guy to...have since learnt from that situation and I am now betger at reading body language plus I will have a social first x

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

"I'd view the sex as different not better"

I feel really uncomfortable writing this as I hate being mean and this sounds mean

But often the sex is better, you can sugar coat it how you like but your moans during sex give away that it's better rather than just different

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'd view the sex as different not better

I feel really uncomfortable writing this as I hate being mean and this sounds mean

But often the sex is better, you can sugar coat it how you like but your moans during sex give away that it's better rather than just different "

I totally understand that. I also want her to experience that. However I was just wondering if guys had the same feeling as me and if so how the deal with it.

If sex is is always better, do you still desire your partner in the same way?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd view the sex as different not better

I feel really uncomfortable writing this as I hate being mean and this sounds mean

But often the sex is better, you can sugar coat it how you like but your moans during sex give away that it's better rather than just different "

It is and if it wasn't I'd argue why would you do it?

Rationale - you do stuff together and get to a level. You can talk about doing other stuff and you get to a new level above the first, then you actually do that other stuff. If it's not another level up then what have you achieved?

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"If sex is is always better, do you still desire your partner in the same way? "

No. I desire her about a 1000 times more!

Sometimes I get to learn a few good moves. Other times I get to watch my favourite porn star in action.

The first ever time Alice hot-wifed literally changed her life. She still talks about how transformative it was. I don't think that would have happened if the sex had been disappointing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If sex is is always better, do you still desire your partner in the same way?

No. I desire her about a 1000 times more!

Sometimes I get to learn a few good moves. Other times I get to watch my favourite porn star in action.

The first ever time Alice hot-wifed literally changed her life. She still talks about how transformative it was. I don't think that would have happened if the sex had been disappointing."

Thank you for replying. I appreciate all the comments.

I'm starting to think maybe because she kind of let's on it was better but then doesn't want to say. It makes me over think. I'll speak to my partner and just explain that it is totally ok and more enjoyable for us both if the experience it together fully.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'd view the sex as different not better

I feel really uncomfortable writing this as I hate being mean and this sounds mean

But often the sex is better, you can sugar coat it how you like but your moans during sex give away that it's better rather than just different

It is and if it wasn't I'd argue why would you do it?

Totally agree. I think because my partner is already 10 levels ahead of me in terms of experiences and knowing what she likes. I am playing a bit of catch up.

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By *riel13Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

There is no better sex than with someone you love, on any level, only different

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There is no better sex than with someone you love, on any level, only different "

You are right. I wouldn't choose to be with someone else as I love my partner. It's just supposed to be fun after all. I Guess I am over thinking .

Thanks for your comment

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By *0xx1Couple
over a year ago

warrington

It took me a long time to get my head around this when S said he wanted me to fuck another man. But over time I have not only got my head around it but am also completely on board.

Sex with S, the man I love and want to spend the rest of my life with, is incredible, I adore him and love the way we connect and the amount I fancy him means we could never have bad sex.

However he isn't the biggest, and he doesn't have the greatest stamina... not a problem for me at all and I would have been happy just with him (and a toy box full to enhance our sex life) forever had he never told me that he had this hotwife'kink' and that fucking other men was an option for me to experience, with his blessing (in fact, encouragement and turn-on!).

I worry he will feel inferior or jealous but he explains that because he has my love and loyalty, this is purely physical. In the same way getting a brilliant vibrator or other toy would be.

Just thought this view/experience might help.... esp. As I also had some serious doubts for a long time.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It took me a long time to get my head around this when S said he wanted me to fuck another man. But over time I have not only got my head around it but am also completely on board.

Sex with S, the man I love and want to spend the rest of my life with, is incredible, I adore him and love the way we connect and the amount I fancy him means we could never have bad sex.

I worry he will feel inferior or jealous but he explains that because he has my love and loyalty, this is purely physical. In the same way getting a brilliant vibrator or other toy would be.

Just thought this view/experience might help.... esp. As I also had some serious doubts for a long time.

Xx"

Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. I imagine my partner feels the same. I'm normally very confident, I think this got in my head and thought I would ask more experienced people what they thought.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It took me a long time to get my head around this when S said he wanted me to fuck another man. But over time I have not only got my head around it but am also completely on board.

Sex with S, the man I love and want to spend the rest of my life with, is incredible, I adore him and love the way we connect and the amount I fancy him means we could never have bad sex.

I worry he will feel inferior or jealous but he explains that because he has my love and loyalty, this is purely physical. In the same way getting a brilliant vibrator or other toy would be.

Just thought this view/experience might help.... esp. As I also had some serious doubts for a long time.

Xx"

Can I ask a quick question. Where you concerned that being with other guys and having 'better' sex would be damaging for him or for you both? X

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By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow

If you have small penis energy it doesnt matter how big your dick is

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you have small penis energy it doesnt matter how big your dick is "

Somebody's been listening to Andrew Tate ha ha

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By *carletnsparksMan
over a year ago

halifax

Why not try a couple so you are also having fun at same time she is, can be exciting watching each other with a different person.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why not try a couple so you are also having fun at same time she is, can be exciting watching each other with a different person."

We are heading to a club soon. Very much looking forward to it.

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By *ensual 2Couple
over a year ago

Blackpool

"It took me a long time to get my head around this when S said he wanted me to fuck another man. But over time I have not only got my head around it but am also completely on board.

Sex with S, the man I love and want to spend the rest of my life with, is incredible, I adore him and love the way we connect and the amount I fancy him means we could never have bad sex.

I worry he will feel inferior or jealous but he explains that because he has my love and loyalty, this is purely physical. In the same way getting a brilliant vibrator or other toy would be.

Just thought this view/experience might help.... esp. As I also had some serious doubts for a long time.

Totally agree .. no jealousy on our part just compersion

Xx"

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By *0xx1Couple
over a year ago

warrington

"It took me a long time to get my head around this when S said he wanted me to fuck another man. But over time I have not only got my head around it but am also completely on board.

Sex with S, the man I love and want to spend the rest of my life with, is incredible, I adore him and love the way we connect and the amount I fancy him means we could never have bad sex.

I worry he will feel inferior or jealous but he explains that because he has my love and loyalty, this is purely physical. In the same way getting a brilliant vibrator or other toy would be.

Just thought this view/experience might help.... esp. As I also had some serious doubts for a long time.

Can I ask a quick question. Where you concerned that being with other guys and having 'better' sex would be damaging for him or for you both? X"

Yeah probably a little bit at first but I couldn't have been more wrong. We are closer/more in love than ever, it has brought this crazy bond that only we understand and it's amazing. Xx

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By *hilleddevilMan
over a year ago

north Manchester

"I think of it as however much you love a particular dish, you don't want to eat it every night.

What if you’re vegan?

Vegans eat more than a carrot

Yea, 2 sprouts as well

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

"There is no better sex than with someone you love, on any level, only different "

i love my man unconditionally hes the best thing that has ever happened to me and we are in this for life but sex is deffo better elsewhere he knew that before i did and he wanted to change that and i was fully with him ... theres nothing missing in our lives but sex is deffo better elsewhere and by me getting it elsewhere we are both very happy

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By *inkForLifeCouple
over a year ago

North Shields

Absolutely agree. I know that I can't satisfy her with my cock, everything else in our sex life is brilliant, but we have always known that my cock wouldn't be enough for her.

This way she gets to be happier and more satisfied, which results in us having a much better relationship.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"I'd view the sex as different not better

I feel really uncomfortable writing this as I hate being mean and this sounds mean

But often the sex is better, you can sugar coat it how you like but your moans during sex give away that it's better rather than just different "

I think there's probably more men than women actually think of sex with others like this

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