FabSwingers.com forum: Partner nervous about 3some

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So iv recently started seeing a naughty girl.

We ve spoke about things we have done and want to do and one is mmf 3some. But she's scared/nervous to actual go threw with it.

Any ideas or tips that can help ease her nerves, and make her feel more excited to try it.

Ps it's still early days with us, it's just fwb at this stage so that's why I still have single profile lol.

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By *Ci LutherMan
over a year ago

Taunton

Go for the soft swing option

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

As it is still early days maybe leave the idea for a while in case she thinks you are being pushy and changes her mind about wanting to see you

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By *as2cheatMan
over a year ago

harrow

Maybe let her arrange it so she controls the build up and is completely comfortable with who it’s with

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By *entleman JackMan
over a year ago

Loughborough

So you are lucky enough to have a FWB with who you are having a great time together......

And she is "scared/nervous" to go for MfM 3sum?

Why freak her out with something which she is clearly unhappy with.

You may well end up with nothing at all, no more FWB!

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Firstly, make sure she definitely wants to do it.

The only tip for nerves is do it, the nerves go away when playing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So you are lucky enough to have a FWB with who you are having a great time together......

And she is "scared/nervous" to go for MfM 3sum?

Why freak her out with something which she is clearly unhappy with.

You may well end up with nothing at all, no more FWB!"

Scared is probly the wrong word I used. She does want to try it, she's said that to me, but just needs that little bit of confidence to go threw with itv

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By *jonesMan
over a year ago

london

Meet a chap socially , if you get on , and she likes him and you have a nice flirty drink and there is a bit of chemistry...The nerves will soon fade into the background ... In my experience ...the challenge is finding the right guy ...

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

wait till shes ready if she ever will be ... some people like the thought but dont want the reality .. dont push her she'll hate you for it in the long run ...id concentrate on the relationship side of things first as it takes a strong together couple to really swing weak couples / one sided couples never last long

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By *umagain58Man
over a year ago

London

"So you are lucky enough to have a FWB with who you are having a great time together......

And she is "scared/nervous" to go for MfM 3sum?

Why freak her out with something which she is clearly unhappy with.

You may well end up with nothing at all, no more FWB!

Scared is probly the wrong word I used. She does want to try it, she's said that to me, but just needs that little bit of confidence to go threw with itv"

As others have said just go slow. Make sure it’s someone have some connection with and chemistry. Not a random person. It might take a while but if wants she probably needs to do and will relax in time. Will be best then and hopefully fun for all

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By *orthyorkypairCouple
over a year ago

North Yorkshire

"wait till shes ready if she ever will be ... some people like the thought but dont want the reality .. dont push her she'll hate you for it in the long run ...id concentrate on the relationship side of things first as it takes a strong together couple to really swing weak couples / one sided couples never last long"

This 100% to many push their partner into it

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By *umagain58Man
over a year ago

London

This 100% to many push their partner into it"

Could not agree more. So many guys have this fantasy and think they can just go for it quick after going to the pub. It does not work like. Be patient and end result will be so much better. If she changes mind she is still a lovely person and it’s her choice and should not judge

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks so far for all your advice, I'd just like to say I'm not pushing it onto her, as I said we ve spoke about it, she's told me she's nervous,so iv tried to be supportive, and just came on here to seek some advice

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By *umagain58Man
over a year ago

London

"Thanks so far for all your advice, I'd just like to say I'm not pushing it onto her, as I said we ve spoke about it, she's told me she's nervous,so iv tried to be supportive, and just came on here to seek some advice "

Great. I hope it happens for you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Great. I hope it happens for you"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would just keep it between you for now until she is fully ready.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Suggest a social to her as a first step. Emphasise that it's no more than a social and let her decide if she wants to take things further at a later date.

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

Best leave the idea for now a d just go to socials and soft swing and maybe take her to a greedy Girls night at a club and just chill and tell her to take her time and do whatever she feels comfortable with.

Take away any pressure and she might feel comfortable enough to take the next step

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"So iv recently started seeing a naughty girl.

We ve spoke about things we have done and want to do and one is mmf 3some. But she's scared/nervous to actual go threw with it.

Any ideas or tips that can help ease her nerves, and make her feel more excited to try it.

Ps it's still early days with us, it's just fwb at this stage so that's why I still have single profile lol. "

Go at her pace. Be mindful that it may never happen.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"So iv recently started seeing a naughty girl.

We ve spoke about things we have done and want to do and one is mmf 3some. But she's scared/nervous to actual go threw with it.

Any ideas or tips that can help ease her nerves, and make her feel more excited to try it.

Ps it's still early days with us, it's just fwb at this stage so that's why I still have single profile lol. "

Why do you think she needs to feel more excited to try it?

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

If she's nervous talk through her fears and reassure her.

If she's scared, drop the subject.

Let her dictate the pace if when this could happen

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/10/22 10:21:31]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So iv recently started seeing a naughty girl.

We ve spoke about things we have done and want to do and one is mmf 3some. But she's scared/nervous to actual go threw with it.

Any ideas or tips that can help ease her nerves, and make her feel more excited to try it.

Ps it's still early days with us, it's just fwb at this stage so that's why I still have single profile lol.

Why do you think she needs to feel more excited to try it?"

To try overcome her nerves as she does want to do it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If she's nervous talk through her fears and reassure her.

If she's scared, drop the subject.

Let her dictate the pace if when this could happen "

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

Go to a club, they'll be no pressure to play but the options there should she choose to

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By *lexV16Man
over a year ago

Welling

From my own experience - don’t do it now. Let her live with that thought for a while. Watch some 3some porn with her.

Ideally, if possible, get her to a club and let her watch, maybe play with her and take it from there

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By *inkForLifeCouple
over a year ago

North Shields

Maybe a club, make it clear you won't be going to play with anyone and she gets to pick the guy etc.

A lot also depends on what you define as a 3some. You probably need to discuss the nitty gritty detail. Mmf can often come across as two dominant guys having their wicked way with a girl, where as often the reality is that she can be much more in control than she might think is acceptable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't like this topic. Just take no as no. If she brings it up again, great, if not, it's your fantasy not hers

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By *llaandGCouple
over a year ago

London

Talk well and build confidence between you both - understand what you’re both looking to get out of experience. I also felt same but very fortunate to have a very considerate partner who listens and talks really well. Closeness before and after helps too. Good luck.

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By *iman2100Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

I suggest that you try to find out exactly why she is nervous.

There may be many reasons. One that often bothers a special lady who really likes you is - 'What if we do this and I am enjoying this other guy and my guy gets all upset? Could I lose him simply by doing what he wants?'

She must be totally confident in your reaction as well as happy to fuck the other man. Slowly and masses of communication.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

I wonder if it ever happens that the female of the couple wonders how she can get her male to explore a threesome?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't like this topic. Just take no as no. If she brings it up again, great, if not, it's your fantasy not hers "

Me too. I’ve had mmfs at parties but I’ve never arranged my own exclusive mmf, despite loving the idea, because it’s a lot for a woman! I’ve had casual partners in the past who’ve tried to push and it just makes me go the other way and lose interest! I think as another responder mentioned - letting her take the reins and organise it would be best. Otherwise just leave it as a fantasy x

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By *thfloorCouple
over a year ago

Hove

"I wonder if it ever happens that the female of the couple wonders how she can get her male to explore a threesome? "

For mfm? Sure does!

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"I wonder if it ever happens that the female of the couple wonders how she can get her male to explore a threesome?

For mfm? Sure does!"

Is that any different process when trying to "convince" them to explore their boundaries.?

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By *romagefraisWoman
over a year ago

Sunderland

Get her pissed.

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By *umagain58Man
over a year ago

London

"Get her pissed."

Assume a joke? Xxx

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By *romagefraisWoman
over a year ago

Sunderland

"Get her pissed.

Assume a joke? Xxx"

Ya.

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By *iss KinkWoman
over a year ago

North/Blackpool

Are you sure it’s not your fantasy

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By *rivervaderMan
over a year ago

bolton

See if she wants a ffm first if she’s up for that then maybe she could go with it or go on a social get talking to some folk take it from there

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By *i_guy_sloughMan
over a year ago

Langley

Loads of people get nervous about their first 3some. I have had a few FWBs who really wanted to try it but were anxious about it, I tried taking them to a swingers club purely as an observer to see what goes on there with no expectation of any action happening. Sometimes they decide to have a go there and then and other times we get home and discuss it and see if they want to go again but participate and sometimes it is a firm no.

I find it easier at the clubs than arranging a specific guy to join us but everyone is different.

Just remember there’s a big difference between encouraging participation in a shared fantasy and helping them overcome their nerves and pushing someone into doing something they don’t want to. From what you’ve said she sounds interested but has reservations, start by talking through what her concerns are and see what you can do to address them. If she seems open to it suggest going to a club as an observer.

Best of luck!

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By *aveing funCouple
over a year ago

staffordshire

It’s normal to get nervous about any meeting wether your new to the scene or not

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By *inLondonMan
over a year ago

London

100% make sure that she's comfortable, wants to try stuff, and talk as much as you can about how exactly you want things to pan out. Make sure she knows nothing's expected of her and if you do get as far as meeting anyone, control of the evening is with her - she can change her mind or call things off at any point. If you two do still want to proceed, just agree to meet a guy for a social - make sure he knows that's all it is, see if she's comfortable with the whole dynamic. If so, things can move on gradually after that, but basically leave the ball in her court, make sure that she's safe and comfortable and you're both being honest about what you want.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Some great answers guys thankyou. Shall let you no if WE decide to take it further

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By *inky_CarpenterMan
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Blindfold and bind the other guy so that she has complete control

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"See if she wants a ffm first if she’s up for that then maybe she could go with it or go on a social get talking to some folk take it from there "

I don't understand the logic of this

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