Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Back to forum list |
Back to Swingers Chat |
Jump to newest |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What’s the point in having a gender box on the search option then?" Because that's the gender the profile owner chooses. The one they are happy with, maybe not the one that you are, but it's their profile. (Bry) | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I agree with the above post but I also feel that if you have a penis but identify as a female you should select a male gender on a sex site. " So would you say a pre op M-F trans with a penis should select male? What do you believe a post op M-F trans with a working vagina should select? Genuinely curious in people's views and opinions. KJ | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I have recently noticed there are a lot of “female” profiles that are clearly CD/TV/TS. Some even photo verified. There’s even a quite a few “female” profiles that say in the text they are pre op, on HRT or identify as a male. I know we are in 2022 and the world is much more diverse and open but surely on a swinging site the profile gender should match the physical gender of the persons body? What are other peoples opinions on this and do others report the profile? I have also put a post about this on site help and feedback to get a opinion from fab, this thread is purely a discussion to see what other peoples views are. " To be fair, it would be nice if there was larger selection of options for people to select from. In this day & age, it is almost bizarre that there is only a choice of Male or Female. Having said that, on couples profiles there is no option to identify which is which... and there's a world of difference between a couple where Male is 6'2" & Female is 4'9" and a couple where the Female is 6'2" and Male is 4'9" Cal | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"For me it's simple. If I want to meet someone with a vagina I search for women only. If I want someone with a dick I search for men only and this is why I am on this site. I find it frustrating when you have a lot of "women" in search results that have a dick. Sorry to be blunt but I just don't get it " m If anyone had seen the film or stage show of ‘kinky Boots’ … one of the opening lines here is ‘Ladies and Gentlemen …. and those of you who have yet to decide’ - I think that sums it up - lol. I think in this day an age it is far more complicated than looking for a man … or looking for a woman … significantly more than a binary approach. I don’t get all of it either, but each to their own in my book xx R xx | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"For me it's simple. If I want to meet someone with a vagina I search for women only. If I want someone with a dick I search for men only and this is why I am on this site. I find it frustrating when you have a lot of "women" in search results that have a dick. Sorry to be blunt but I just don't get it " Your frustration about the convenience of searches to you is far less important than people being able to categorise themselves in the gender that best fits them. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"For me it's simple. If I want to meet someone with a vagina I search for women only. If I want someone with a dick I search for men only and this is why I am on this site. I find it frustrating when you have a lot of "women" in search results that have a dick. Sorry to be blunt but I just don't get it Your frustration about the convenience of searches to you is far less important than people being able to categorise themselves in the gender that best fits them." Why is that important? Who decided the hierarchy of importance here? Baring in mind this is only an adult website primarily for sex. I’d say it’s fair for any person to be able to search for a sexual partner that matches what they are looking for - aka men should be able to search for women and expect to find women (or as some people say “cis women”). At the very least it’s time this site updated to distinguish between CD/TV/TS and then also have a “trans male” or “trans female” category. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"For me it's simple. If I want to meet someone with a vagina I search for women only. If I want someone with a dick I search for men only and this is why I am on this site. I find it frustrating when you have a lot of "women" in search results that have a dick. Sorry to be blunt but I just don't get it Your frustration about the convenience of searches to you is far less important than people being able to categorise themselves in the gender that best fits them. Why is that important? Who decided the hierarchy of importance here? Baring in mind this is only an adult website primarily for sex. I’d say it’s fair for any person to be able to search for a sexual partner that matches what they are looking for - aka men should be able to search for women and expect to find women (or as some people say “cis women”). At the very least it’s time this site updated to distinguish between CD/TV/TS and then also have a “trans male” or “trans female” category." I completely agree! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Maybe the site needs to add some more options?" Yes, I think it does | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"For me it's simple. If I want to meet someone with a vagina I search for women only. If I want someone with a dick I search for men only and this is why I am on this site. I find it frustrating when you have a lot of "women" in search results that have a dick. Sorry to be blunt but I just don't get it Your frustration about the convenience of searches to you is far less important than people being able to categorise themselves in the gender that best fits them." I mean maybe… but surely the effectiveness of a search is measured by how useful the person searching finds the results of the inputs, not how the person in those results feels they were categorised. A solid margin of people on the site men, women and couples looking for a female would not consider a tans woman the same thing for the purpose of their own possible sexual partners. Making it harder for people to find what they are looking for isnt the way any sort of site should or can really operate. Auto trader doesn’t show you BMWs when you are looking for Mercedes. This is even before you take into account dishonest actors I.E. all the single men who would decide they are women and can now get round filters. So the simple answer is to include a trans m trans f option in the searches. Until then assigned at birth would seem to be the best option I think. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"For me it's simple. If I want to meet someone with a vagina I search for women only. If I want someone with a dick I search for men only and this is why I am on this site. I find it frustrating when you have a lot of "women" in search results that have a dick. Sorry to be blunt but I just don't get it Your frustration about the convenience of searches to you is far less important than people being able to categorise themselves in the gender that best fits them. I mean maybe… but surely the effectiveness of a search is measured by how useful the person searching finds the results of the inputs, not how the person in those results feels they were categorised. A solid margin of people on the site men, women and couples looking for a female would not consider a tans woman the same thing for the purpose of their own possible sexual partners. Making it harder for people to find what they are looking for isnt the way any sort of site should or can really operate. Auto trader doesn’t show you BMWs when you are looking for Mercedes. This is even before you take into account dishonest actors I.E. all the single men who would decide they are women and can now get round filters. So the simple answer is to include a trans m trans f option in the searches. Until then assigned at birth would seem to be the best option I think. " I agree! To put it simply if I was to create a new account as a female and upoad a photo verification photo of myself (a naked hairy male with a penis and and beard) would it get approved? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Know a few Transgender people on here,from being on here 10yrs on and of. They use to have TV etc on their profile.Once they fully transitioned they changed gender to either Male or Female.Once their genitals was changed.Then clearly stated in the pf text that they was now transgender/fully transitioned. If you're a male/female and have no intention of fully transitioning,you shouldn't be setting up a pf of the other gender. " This is how I have always understood it and thought it’s how it was | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Know a few Transgender people on here,from being on here 10yrs on and of. They use to have TV etc on their profile.Once they fully transitioned they changed gender to either Male or Female.Once their genitals was changed.Then clearly stated in the pf text that they was now transgender/fully transitioned. If you're a male/female and have no intention of fully transitioning,you shouldn't be setting up a pf of the other gender. " Who are you to say what other people can do? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Know a few Transgender people on here,from being on here 10yrs on and of. They use to have TV etc on their profile.Once they fully transitioned they changed gender to either Male or Female.Once their genitals was changed.Then clearly stated in the pf text that they was now transgender/fully transitioned. If you're a male/female and have no intention of fully transitioning,you shouldn't be setting up a pf of the other gender. Who are you to say what other people can do? " If I go to a swingers club & say I am a woman.Pretty sure they would still charge me £40 has a single male to enter.Or completely refuse me entry | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Know a few Transgender people on here,from being on here 10yrs on and of. They use to have TV etc on their profile.Once they fully transitioned they changed gender to either Male or Female.Once their genitals was changed.Then clearly stated in the pf text that they was now transgender/fully transitioned. If you're a male/female and have no intention of fully transitioning,you shouldn't be setting up a pf of the other gender. Who are you to say what other people can do? If I go to a swingers club & say I am a woman.Pretty sure they would still charge me £40 has a single male to enter.Or completely refuse me entry " Moot point. We are talking about Fab. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Know a few Transgender people on here,from being on here 10yrs on and of. They use to have TV etc on their profile.Once they fully transitioned they changed gender to either Male or Female.Once their genitals was changed.Then clearly stated in the pf text that they was now transgender/fully transitioned. If you're a male/female and have no intention of fully transitioning,you shouldn't be setting up a pf of the other gender. Who are you to say what other people can do? If I go to a swingers club & say I am a woman.Pretty sure they would still charge me £40 has a single male to enter.Or completely refuse me entry Moot point. We are talking about Fab. " Alot of club meets are arranged via fab. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I know this has been broached before, and for many in the ‘trans’ community, there is consternation about labels in here. The ‘label’ we get in here is very broad brush, and covers a very wide spectrum. From those who perhaps like just like wearing Womens underwear / hosiery. And not really bothered about looking feminine …. to ladies who have chosen to change gender completely, and become a woman and are TS … plus a whole renege in between. - we aren’t given any latitude. As for those who have transitioned completely, they are a woman in every sense of the word, and legally so, so why would they identify as anything different. I know most will identify as a woman, but will say the met are post op, that is their choice. If I had a choice, i would describe myself as a ‘T-Girl’. I don’t just dress up in stockings, I am male most of the time, but make every effort to look as best I can as a female. Neither am I a TS, I have no intention of changing sex … I’m happy dipping in … and having fun! when I get the opportunity R xx" The options have been the same since the site started. But society and understanding of gender has changed a lot and its a shame the options haven't evolved in that time. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Know a few Transgender people on here,from being on here 10yrs on and of. They use to have TV etc on their profile.Once they fully transitioned they changed gender to either Male or Female.Once their genitals was changed.Then clearly stated in the pf text that they was now transgender/fully transitioned. If you're a male/female and have no intention of fully transitioning,you shouldn't be setting up a pf of the other gender. Who are you to say what other people can do? If I go to a swingers club & say I am a woman.Pretty sure they would still charge me £40 has a single male to enter.Or completely refuse me entry Moot point. We are talking about Fab. Alot of club meets are arranged via fab." And people can't tell at that point who they're going to meet? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Know a few Transgender people on here,from being on here 10yrs on and of. They use to have TV etc on their profile.Once they fully transitioned they changed gender to either Male or Female.Once their genitals was changed.Then clearly stated in the pf text that they was now transgender/fully transitioned. If you're a male/female and have no intention of fully transitioning,you shouldn't be setting up a pf of the other gender. Who are you to say what other people can do? If I go to a swingers club & say I am a woman.Pretty sure they would still charge me £40 has a single male to enter.Or completely refuse me entry Moot point. We are talking about Fab. Alot of club meets are arranged via fab." Fab owns no clubs. The venue would determine any charge to enter. A | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"For me it's simple. If I want to meet someone with a vagina I search for women only. If I want someone with a dick I search for men only and this is why I am on this site. I find it frustrating when you have a lot of "women" in search results that have a dick. Sorry to be blunt but I just don't get it Your frustration about the convenience of searches to you is far less important than people being able to categorise themselves in the gender that best fits them. Why is that important? Who decided the hierarchy of importance here? Baring in mind this is only an adult website primarily for sex. I’d say it’s fair for any person to be able to search for a sexual partner that matches what they are looking for - aka men should be able to search for women and expect to find women (or as some people say “cis women”). At the very least it’s time this site updated to distinguish between CD/TV/TS and then also have a “trans male” or “trans female” category." Because one is a question of convenience, and the other is a question of identity. It’s not harming anyone in any way if they come across trans people in their searches and they aren’t seeking trans people. At the very worst, it’s a momentary inconvenience to them. On the other hand, expecting people to classify themselves as a gender they do not identify with is at worst actively mentally harmful to those individuals. This doesn’t require any further explanation as to which takes precedence in terms of importance. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"For me it's simple. If I want to meet someone with a vagina I search for women only. If I want someone with a dick I search for men only and this is why I am on this site. I find it frustrating when you have a lot of "women" in search results that have a dick. Sorry to be blunt but I just don't get it Your frustration about the convenience of searches to you is far less important than people being able to categorise themselves in the gender that best fits them. Why is that important? Who decided the hierarchy of importance here? Baring in mind this is only an adult website primarily for sex. I’d say it’s fair for any person to be able to search for a sexual partner that matches what they are looking for - aka men should be able to search for women and expect to find women (or as some people say “cis women”). At the very least it’s time this site updated to distinguish between CD/TV/TS and then also have a “trans male” or “trans female” category. Because one is a question of convenience, and the other is a question of identity. It’s not harming anyone in any way if they come across trans people in their searches and they aren’t seeking trans people. At the very worst, it’s a momentary inconvenience to them. On the other hand, expecting people to classify themselves as a gender they do not identify with is at worst actively mentally harmful to those individuals. This doesn’t require any further explanation as to which takes precedence in terms of importance." Actually both are a question of sexual identity. If you’re looking for cis women for sex, because you’re sexually attracted to cis women, then that’s what you should get. And likewise if you’re not a woman and you haven’t had the op, then you shouldn’t label yourself as a woman. There are other correct labels to use. It’s intentionally misleading and it’s very naive to believe that people on a sex site are doing this as a matter of “identity”. No they’re doing it to appear to men who are searching for cis women. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"For me it's simple. If I want to meet someone with a vagina I search for women only. If I want someone with a dick I search for men only and this is why I am on this site. I find it frustrating when you have a lot of "women" in search results that have a dick. Sorry to be blunt but I just don't get it Your frustration about the convenience of searches to you is far less important than people being able to categorise themselves in the gender that best fits them. Why is that important? Who decided the hierarchy of importance here? Baring in mind this is only an adult website primarily for sex. I’d say it’s fair for any person to be able to search for a sexual partner that matches what they are looking for - aka men should be able to search for women and expect to find women (or as some people say “cis women”). At the very least it’s time this site updated to distinguish between CD/TV/TS and then also have a “trans male” or “trans female” category. Because one is a question of convenience, and the other is a question of identity. It’s not harming anyone in any way if they come across trans people in their searches and they aren’t seeking trans people. At the very worst, it’s a momentary inconvenience to them. On the other hand, expecting people to classify themselves as a gender they do not identify with is at worst actively mentally harmful to those individuals. This doesn’t require any further explanation as to which takes precedence in terms of importance. Actually both are a question of sexual identity. If you’re looking for cis women for sex, because you’re sexually attracted to cis women, then that’s what you should get. And likewise if you’re not a woman and you haven’t had the op, then you shouldn’t label yourself as a woman. There are other correct labels to use. It’s intentionally misleading and it’s very naive to believe that people on a sex site are doing this as a matter of “identity”. No they’re doing it to appear to men who are searching for cis women." Let me just say I meant *cis woman in all instances above. I respect that there are trans women. I also believe they should be open about that, and at the moment the TV/TS category is most appropriate as the “TS” means transsexual, which that person is. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Maybe the site needs to add some more options?" In a nutshell. People have been requesting this for years. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"For me it's simple. If I want to meet someone with a vagina I search for women only. If I want someone with a dick I search for men only and this is why I am on this site. I find it frustrating when you have a lot of "women" in search results that have a dick. Sorry to be blunt but I just don't get it Your frustration about the convenience of searches to you is far less important than people being able to categorise themselves in the gender that best fits them. Why is that important? Who decided the hierarchy of importance here? Baring in mind this is only an adult website primarily for sex. I’d say it’s fair for any person to be able to search for a sexual partner that matches what they are looking for - aka men should be able to search for women and expect to find women (or as some people say “cis women”). At the very least it’s time this site updated to distinguish between CD/TV/TS and then also have a “trans male” or “trans female” category." Ohh the irony! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"For me it's simple. If I want to meet someone with a vagina I search for women only. If I want someone with a dick I search for men only and this is why I am on this site. I find it frustrating when you have a lot of "women" in search results that have a dick. Sorry to be blunt but I just don't get it Your frustration about the convenience of searches to you is far less important than people being able to categorise themselves in the gender that best fits them. Why is that important? Who decided the hierarchy of importance here? Baring in mind this is only an adult website primarily for sex. I’d say it’s fair for any person to be able to search for a sexual partner that matches what they are looking for - aka men should be able to search for women and expect to find women (or as some people say “cis women”). At the very least it’s time this site updated to distinguish between CD/TV/TS and then also have a “trans male” or “trans female” category. Ohh the irony!" What’s ironic? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Could I suggest you look up the difference between sex and gender? They're not the same thing. Two sexes, many genders. As Fab hasn't moved into the 21st century and doesn't offer a wider array of gender options - people should choose whatever they feel comfortable with. " When did this difference come to be? You'll find it was post modernists who believe everything is a social construct who are responsible. But on a site where CD/tv/TS is an option... My solution let's change it to sex and have separate categories for nb MTF ftm etc so that those of us who subscribe to the old definition of woman can avoid those we perceive to be men and those who don't distinguish in this way can have what they want too | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Know a few Transgender people on here,from being on here 10yrs on and of. They use to have TV etc on their profile.Once they fully transitioned they changed gender to either Male or Female.Once their genitals was changed.Then clearly stated in the pf text that they was now transgender/fully transitioned. If you're a male/female and have no intention of fully transitioning,you shouldn't be setting up a pf of the other gender. Who are you to say what other people can do? If I go to a swingers club & say I am a woman.Pretty sure they would still charge me £40 has a single male to enter.Or completely refuse me entry " A lot of clubs are now taking the view of whatever is on your ID is what you are. So those of us who have transitioned enough to change our names and ID documents legally can be recognised as women, no matter what genitalia we happen to have. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think the problem is that there is no guidelines or official response from fab and people cannot change their own profile sex. If I was to transition into a female I assume I would have to create another account? " No. You can contact Admin and request to have your gender changed on here. Usually from TS to woman though, or male to TS etc as you need. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I agree with the above post but I also feel that if you have a penis but identify as a female you should select a male gender on a sex site. " So I have a penis that I no longer use for sex. Can't wait to get rid of the damn thing, but that's going to take at least 5 odd years given the current NHS waiting times (look up Tavistocks published referral stats for first appointments, let alone actually getting surgery). Until then you're suggesting even though I live as a woman, can legally become a woman with a GRC (2 years living in acquired gender and a doctors report or two), change my passport etc.... I still have to put male down on a sex site? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"For me it's simple. If I want to meet someone with a vagina I search for women only. If I want someone with a dick I search for men only and this is why I am on this site. I find it frustrating when you have a lot of "women" in search results that have a dick. Sorry to be blunt but I just don't get it Your frustration about the convenience of searches to you is far less important than people being able to categorise themselves in the gender that best fits them. Why is that important? Who decided the hierarchy of importance here? Baring in mind this is only an adult website primarily for sex. I’d say it’s fair for any person to be able to search for a sexual partner that matches what they are looking for - aka men should be able to search for women and expect to find women (or as some people say “cis women”). At the very least it’s time this site updated to distinguish between CD/TV/TS and then also have a “trans male” or “trans female” category. Ohh the irony! What’s ironic?" You saying "who decided the hierarchy of importance here" Then waffle on about what you think is fair and not, therefore you are deciding it and what is important. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"For me it's simple. If I want to meet someone with a vagina I search for women only. If I want someone with a dick I search for men only and this is why I am on this site. I find it frustrating when you have a lot of "women" in search results that have a dick. Sorry to be blunt but I just don't get it Your frustration about the convenience of searches to you is far less important than people being able to categorise themselves in the gender that best fits them. Why is that important? Who decided the hierarchy of importance here? Baring in mind this is only an adult website primarily for sex. I’d say it’s fair for any person to be able to search for a sexual partner that matches what they are looking for - aka men should be able to search for women and expect to find women (or as some people say “cis women”). At the very least it’s time this site updated to distinguish between CD/TV/TS and then also have a “trans male” or “trans female” category. Ohh the irony! What’s ironic? You saying "who decided the hierarchy of importance here" Then waffle on about what you think is fair and not, therefore you are deciding it and what is important." Yeah exactly it’s saying my view rather than blindly accepting another. It’s not irony it’s discussion. Or do you call it ironic any time anyone questions something? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Know a few Transgender people on here,from being on here 10yrs on and of. They use to have TV etc on their profile.Once they fully transitioned they changed gender to either Male or Female.Once their genitals was changed.Then clearly stated in the pf text that they was now transgender/fully transitioned. If you're a male/female and have no intention of fully transitioning,you shouldn't be setting up a pf of the other gender. Who are you to say what other people can do? If I go to a swingers club & say I am a woman.Pretty sure they would still charge me £40 has a single male to enter.Or completely refuse me entry A lot of clubs are now taking the view of whatever is on your ID is what you are. So those of us who have transitioned enough to change our names and ID documents legally can be recognised as women, no matter what genitalia we happen to have." That's a great solution - does that mean you have a GRC? I don't think you should need one to select your gender here but I think it makes sense for venues. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"For me it's simple. If I want to meet someone with a vagina I search for women only. If I want someone with a dick I search for men only and this is why I am on this site. I find it frustrating when you have a lot of "women" in search results that have a dick. Sorry to be blunt but I just don't get it Your frustration about the convenience of searches to you is far less important than people being able to categorise themselves in the gender that best fits them. Why is that important? Who decided the hierarchy of importance here? Baring in mind this is only an adult website primarily for sex. I’d say it’s fair for any person to be able to search for a sexual partner that matches what they are looking for - aka men should be able to search for women and expect to find women (or as some people say “cis women”). At the very least it’s time this site updated to distinguish between CD/TV/TS and then also have a “trans male” or “trans female” category. Ohh the irony! What’s ironic? You saying "who decided the hierarchy of importance here" Then waffle on about what you think is fair and not, therefore you are deciding it and what is important. Yeah exactly it’s saying my view rather than blindly accepting another. It’s not irony it’s discussion. Or do you call it ironic any time anyone questions something? " No duh. What you did though, when it was mentioned its important for someone to choose and tick how they identify, was to ask why is that so important? If a man searches for a woman then you only want women to show as you define. Your saying why is one thing important that you dont think should be, while then stating what you think is important and should be. Basically putting yourself at the top of the hierarchy's importance. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Post new Message to Thread |
back to top |