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amout of deletes or no replies

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By *orny-Shadow OP   Man
over a year ago

burnley

amazing how many people are here to chat or whatever. send message nothing rude or bad and it gets deleted or you get blocked. what's a guy to do other than try when girls say we not got a type just like fun and nothing back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They likely got another 300 similar messages today. Can't reply to them all.

Don't take it personally.

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By *orny-Shadow OP   Man
over a year ago

burnley

alright this is true just wish a reply works as not a robot that send to all.

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

Just a numbers game on that front snd hope you stand out amongst the multiple others. Also most don’t reply / read as not interested. Remember msny just look at profile before even reading a message. I do this myself .

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By *ose and her beastCouple
over a year ago

Watford

Move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The trouble is the minority spoil for others. In my early Fab days I'd send a polite reply back declining and get either abuse back or people who would use that message as an in to try and change my mind. It's now easier to just not reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

op .... nobody owes you anything nad da totally utterly nothing ... its clearly in the rules of the site ..no reply = no thanks...

swinging is a fun lifestyle but it based on rejection more than selection due to the numbers game ie 100++++ men per women if your a guy then rejection will be you biggest hudle bar none and with 1,000s of guys joining weekly and hardly any couples or women it will only get worse ....

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By *razytimesinloveCouple
over a year ago

SW Scotland

Used to reply to each message but it gets a bit tedious when you can tell they’ve just copied and pasted to a load of profiles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not sure how an inbox full of “no thanks” messages would help you OP? Sounds time consuming and tedious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not sure how an inbox full of “no thanks” messages would help you OP? Sounds time consuming and tedious. "

I’d imagine it would be more demoralising than the no replies. At least with a no reply there’s a chance they forgot to reply or missed the message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We block plenty like this who do not read our profile first. Also there are too many, far too many singles and they are almost exclusively male who put no effort into their messages and messaging. Remember it is a buyer's market for couples and single females and single men need to work a lot harder at being human to get anywhere. Patience and effort is key and then consistency as we can all look elsewhere. HTH

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not sure how an inbox full of “no thanks” messages would help you OP? Sounds time consuming and tedious.

I’d imagine it would be more demoralising than the no replies. At least with a no reply there’s a chance they forgot to reply or missed the message. "

I agree, I couldn’t think of anything worse!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I block 2 or 3 a day. If someone clearly hasn't even bothered to read past the first line of our profile, then I cant be bothered to reply.

I also regularly block copy and paste messages, which for some reason really annoy me!

Often they will mention how hot Ginge looks in our pics when we don't have any pics on public display!

Max

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By *orny-Shadow OP   Man
over a year ago

burnley

yer true indeed I guess lol

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By *orny-Shadow OP   Man
over a year ago

burnley

[Removed by poster at 16/03/22 16:42:26]

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By *orny-Shadow OP   Man
over a year ago

burnley

is the same as getting blocked ?? it's very demoralising to be honest when chatting cones hard enough

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"amazing how many people are here to chat or whatever. send message nothing rude or bad and it gets deleted or you get blocked. what's a guy to do other than try when girls say we not got a type just like fun and nothing back "

Best advice op is to delete every message as soon as you send it. Then you don't have the option of seeing if it has been opened or not and won't tie yourself in knots over it.

Send your best message, delete and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This again! I have 2500 unread messages do you really think I have time to read and reply to all those?

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By *orny-Shadow OP   Man
over a year ago

burnley


"This again! I have 2500 unread messages do you really think I have time to read and reply to all those?"

that is alot but see fro. the other point of view it can be demoralising for the person that gets deleted and not replied and if you have befor and not now makes them think

"what I done or said"

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By *ancy38Woman
over a year ago

galway


"amazing how many people are here to chat or whatever. send message nothing rude or bad and it gets deleted or you get blocked. what's a guy to do other than try when girls say we not got a type just like fun and nothing back "

Go to socials and parties then yiur luck will change.

I'm tired replying to single males msgs I just ended up blocking. I was getting over 100 every few days. No way I was msging all them back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This again! I have 2500 unread messages do you really think I have time to read and reply to all those?

that is alot but see fro. the other point of view it can be demoralising for the person that gets deleted and not replied and if you have befor and not now makes them think

"what I done or said""

If it’s affecting you in a negative way maybe Fab isn’t the place for you. No reply means not interested as stated in the FAB FAQs.

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By *orny-Shadow OP   Man
over a year ago

burnley


"This again! I have 2500 unread messages do you really think I have time to read and reply to all those?

that is alot but see fro. the other point of view it can be demoralising for the person that gets deleted and not replied and if you have befor and not now makes them think

"what I done or said"

If it’s affecting you in a negative way maybe Fab isn’t the place for you. No reply means not interested as stated in the FAB FAQs. "

ok sorry if this aggravated you in any way

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By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford


"amazing how many people are here to chat or whatever. send message nothing rude or bad and it gets deleted or you get blocked. what's a guy to do other than try when girls say we not got a type just like fun and nothing back

Best advice op is to delete every message as soon as you send it. Then you don't have the option of seeing if it has been opened or not and won't tie yourself in knots over it.

Send your best message, delete and move on"

This, very much so!

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By *xploring_FunWoman
over a year ago

Coventry

Every person that deletes or doesn’t reply is saying “No thanks” - if they reply they’re not going to say any more than that so how would that help you with your wondering?

It wouldn’t.

What happens when you reply no thanks is that people either message back wanting to know “why not?” or, very often, they get abusive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you send in a message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This again! I have 2500 unread messages do you really think I have time to read and reply to all those?"

That sorta tells the story completely. That's a hell of alot of messages to process - if you only spent a minute replying to each one from right now you'd still be sat there Friday lunchtime

Those that then sit there and can't comprehend why someone else is not prepared to do that to make them feel pretty much no better about rejection than with no reply are the reason why people default to no reply - self fulfilling prophecy I'm afraid and the entire reason why when I was single I didn't even bother messaging anyone - it was pointless - if someone was going to be interested enough from my profile alone they'd get in touch - they didn't and spamming up a load of messages wouldn't have changed that.

FWIW youve got more hope if you are witty and charismatic in a liver environment like the chatrooms but again it's still very cattle market like.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I block 2 or 3 a day. If someone clearly hasn't even bothered to read past the first line of our profile, then I cant be bothered to reply.

I also regularly block copy and paste messages, which for some reason really annoy me!

Often they will mention how hot Ginge looks in our pics when we don't have any pics on public display!

Max"

It's clearly my internet aura

Ginge

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By *ustathingMan
over a year ago

Reading

OP, I don't even bother sending messages now... I think most couples will go looking for exactly what they want, so sit back, have a perve and let people message you first!

I've been on here as a couple, and as people have mentioned, it's a nightmare!

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By *amRod64Man
over a year ago

Gravesend

Don’t worry about it, move on. Have a look the pics !

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London


"amazing how many people are here to chat or whatever. send message nothing rude or bad and it gets deleted or you get blocked. what's a guy to do other than try when girls say we not got a type just like fun and nothing back "

Loads of those women will be men.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I used to reply then you'd get "but why not etc etc....its draining.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I used to reply then you'd get "but why not etc etc....its draining."

Exactly! It’s a rarity that a guy stops messaging after I have said I’m not interested.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough


"I used to reply then you'd get "but why not etc etc....its draining."

Oh I know.

They just won't take no for an answer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OP

I've been on here as a couple, and as people have mentioned, it's a nightmare! "

I'm not sure I'd describe it as a nightmare - more that expectations need to align to the reality of the situation - even the mighty Thor would struggle to make headway in this environment so a crappy old Viking has no hope

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The best course of action is to have a good old moan in the forum and then send some more.

Make sure the title or tag line of your message is well spelt, punctuated and eye catching for a start.

Hows you or Hi will generally be deleted.

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By *drenaline rushMan
over a year ago

Burnley

If is harsh but I guess if yiur female it is a necessity… I found once I’d got a little thicker skinned I just accepted and moved on. As gorgeous as I think I am I’m slightly biased tho…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Give us an example of the messages you send and we might be able to help a little.

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By *oliday slutCouple
over a year ago

tenerife


"amazing how many people are here to chat or whatever. send message nothing rude or bad and it gets deleted or you get blocked. what's a guy to do other than try when girls say we not got a type just like fun and nothing back "
maybe because you have no real verifications. I know you have to start somewhere but ladies and couples have a massive choice and lots like to go by recommendations from other couples that they have met someone

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By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago

Milton keynes


"amazing how many people are here to chat or whatever. send message nothing rude or bad and it gets deleted or you get blocked. what's a guy to do other than try when girls say we not got a type just like fun and nothing back "

Like it has been said by others on here, with most ladies receiving hundreds of messages, its almost impossible to keep up. You'll have better luck getting to know people at social events or clubs

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By *ove2PlayLincsCouple
over a year ago

Gainsborough

Also add that if you reply then decide to stop single males messaging for while they can still get through.

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By *avina64TV/TS
over a year ago

Grimsby

I also get messages from 300 miles away

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

It's not just about the messages either.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Why exactly do people think others should spend their time answering messages from people who don't appeal to them .Most look at a profile and the message and if it doesn't appeal why should they reply ? They didn't ask for you to message so you shouldn't expect a reply .

I don't get a lot of messages I keep very tight filters.I reply to a fair few but if the profile really doesn't appeal or the message sometimes I just delete it.

And I do send first messages but I never expect the other person to reply so I don't get the mentality they people think they deserve a reply.

Sending a polite first message should be the norm and not a reason why you expect a reply it's not a unique selling point and if someone is using it as one it makes me think they are faking it.

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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough / Stamford


"Used to reply to each message but it gets a bit tedious when you can tell they’ve just copied and pasted to a load of profiles "

We've realised that more often than not, WE are putting in twice as much time and effort into sending "no thankyou" replies than the initial message sender put in. That's when you decide to just delete.

(Bry)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

how does someone know they have 2500 messages ??? as i see it you can only see the newest 250 the rest fall of the page ?? so i am interested in how you know ?

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"Why exactly do people think others should spend their time answering messages from people who don't appeal to them .Most look at a profile and the message and if it doesn't appeal why should they reply ? They didn't ask for you to message so you shouldn't expect a reply ."

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"how does someone know they have 2500 messages ??? as i see it you can only see the newest 250 the rest fall of the page ?? so i am interested in how you know ?"

If you're on a mobile it tells you

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By *orny-Shadow OP   Man
over a year ago

burnley

ok I get the point and I was wrong it seems. thanks for all the input and if I could id delete the thread. point has been made and recieved

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"how does someone know they have 2500 messages ??? as i see it you can only see the newest 250 the rest fall of the page ?? so i am interested in how you know ?

If you're on a mobile it tells you "

It does indeed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Funnily enough we have just received a TWELTH message from a guy all in the past two weeks, none of which we have replied to.

Ordinarily I would block but I have become intrigued as to just how long he will carry on!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Funnily enough we have just received a TWELTH message from a guy all in the past two weeks, none of which we have replied to.

Ordinarily I would block but I have become intrigued as to just how long he will carry on!"

Lol I’ve had a few who’ve sent 25+ I only block abusive messages though.

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

No reply is a reply, not interested. Move on and accept it, we have on numerous occasions, why so sensitive? Surely you remember those early days where you sent your mate to ask the girl/boy if they will go out with you and for your mate to say they said no, you accepted it then but twenty years plus still haven't moved on, come on!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

100 percent this we always try to reply back unless it’s rude.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We’ve had one absolute freak set up 4 different accounts and messages us. It’s gets really weird when each account is clearly the same guy but from a different angle geek, dom/bull ,nice guy, shy. Proper psycho.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"how does someone know they have 2500 messages ??? as i see it you can only see the newest 250 the rest fall of the page ?? so i am interested in how you know ?

If you're on a mobile it tells you "

wow ok that i did not know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We’ve had one absolute freak set up 4 different accounts and messages us. It’s gets really weird when each account is clearly the same guy but from a different angle geek, dom/bull ,nice guy, shy. Proper psycho. "

there are lots and i mean lots of guys who do this they think they are being clever but it makes them stand out as a massive bellend even more

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By *eliusMan
over a year ago

Henlow

Personally I think deletion is the best method. If I see my message has been deleted I leave them be.

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

Op ...do you reply to every junk mail letter you get or do you chuck them in the bin.

It's easier to chuck in the bin rather than send a letter back saying no thanks

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By *assy LassieWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire


"how does someone know they have 2500 messages ??? as i see it you can only see the newest 250 the rest fall of the page ?? so i am interested in how you know ?

If you're on a mobile it tells you

wow ok that i did not know "

What I don't understand with women complaining about the amount of messages is why don't they tighten their filters. Or do they like the buzz of how many messages they get. Does it validate them in some way.

For the men who can't get replies...are you trawling hot pics and messaging these profiles. These are obviously profiles who get loads of messages and yours will guaranteed be lost. Narrow your criteria and send quality messages. Maybe more likely to get a reply.

This is in general and no way aimed at anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"how does someone know they have 2500 messages ??? as i see it you can only see the newest 250 the rest fall of the page ?? so i am interested in how you know ?

If you're on a mobile it tells you

wow ok that i did not know

What I don't understand with women complaining about the amount of messages is why don't they tighten their filters. Or do they like the buzz of how many messages they get. Does it validate them in some way.

For the men who can't get replies...are you trawling hot pics and messaging these profiles. These are obviously profiles who get loads of messages and yours will guaranteed be lost. Narrow your criteria and send quality messages. Maybe more likely to get a reply.

This is in general and no way aimed at anyone."

Yep I’d agree with the hot photos thing, it is why my unreads are so high!

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"how does someone know they have 2500 messages ??? as i see it you can only see the newest 250 the rest fall of the page ?? so i am interested in how you know ?

If you're on a mobile it tells you

wow ok that i did not know

What I don't understand with women complaining about the amount of messages is why don't they tighten their filters. Or do they like the buzz of how many messages they get. Does it validate them in some way.

For the men who can't get replies...are you trawling hot pics and messaging these profiles. These are obviously profiles who get loads of messages and yours will guaranteed be lost. Narrow your criteria and send quality messages. Maybe more likely to get a reply.

This is in general and no way aimed at anyone."

Women don't complain about the number of messages....more about the content of messages.

Why should they tighten their filters? Why can't people just learn to read profiles?

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By *az87260Man
over a year ago

Cross inn

Any advice greatly welcome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"how does someone know they have 2500 messages ??? as i see it you can only see the newest 250 the rest fall of the page ?? so i am interested in how you know ?

If you're on a mobile it tells you

wow ok that i did not know

What I don't understand with women complaining about the amount of messages is why don't they tighten their filters. Or do they like the buzz of how many messages they get. Does it validate them in some way.

For the men who can't get replies...are you trawling hot pics and messaging these profiles. These are obviously profiles who get loads of messages and yours will guaranteed be lost. Narrow your criteria and send quality messages. Maybe more likely to get a reply.

This is in general and no way aimed at anyone.

Women don't complain about the number of messages....more about the content of messages.

Why should they tighten their filters? Why can't people just learn to read profiles? "

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By *assy LassieWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire


"how does someone know they have 2500 messages ??? as i see it you can only see the newest 250 the rest fall of the page ?? so i am interested in how you know ?

If you're on a mobile it tells you

wow ok that i did not know

What I don't understand with women complaining about the amount of messages is why don't they tighten their filters. Or do they like the buzz of how many messages they get. Does it validate them in some way.

For the men who can't get replies...are you trawling hot pics and messaging these profiles. These are obviously profiles who get loads of messages and yours will guaranteed be lost. Narrow your criteria and send quality messages. Maybe more likely to get a reply.

This is in general and no way aimed at anyone.

Women don't complain about the number of messages....more about the content of messages.

Why should they tighten their filters? Why can't people just learn to read profiles? "

Yeah learning to read is also a valid point. 90% of messages i get they haven't read the profile. Just earns them a delete and no reply. Same with outwith age range.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"amazing how many people are here to chat or whatever. send message nothing rude or bad and it gets deleted or you get blocked. what's a guy to do other than try when girls say we not got a type just like fun and nothing back "

It's a really shitty way to treat people.

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By *xploring_FunWoman
over a year ago

Coventry


"how does someone know they have 2500 messages ??? as i see it you can only see the newest 250 the rest fall of the page ?? so i am interested in how you know ?

If you're on a mobile it tells you

wow ok that i did not know

What I don't understand with women complaining about the amount of messages is why don't they tighten their filters. Or do they like the buzz of how many messages they get. Does it validate them in some way.

For the men who can't get replies...are you trawling hot pics and messaging these profiles. These are obviously profiles who get loads of messages and yours will guaranteed be lost. Narrow your criteria and send quality messages. Maybe more likely to get a reply.

This is in general and no way aimed at anyone."

I haven’t seen any women complain about the number of messages they get. Only about entitled folks thinking that sending a message means a woman is obliged to reply to them.

The only time number of messages gets mentioned is to point out that, for some women, even if they wanted to reply to every message it just wouldn’t be possible.

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By *lexeatonMan
over a year ago

Lichfield

I get quite a few messages, probably delete 95% of them without reply. Most messages you get are just pointless one liners, poor grammer or just out right lazy. However, those that have taken the time to put together a "good" message will get a reply from me, but as I said, sadly that's only around 5%.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate seeing my inbox with more than 50 odd messages, so when it gets to that point I block all new messages and clear it down.

Previous profiles I didn't do this and it would get so high I just couldn't be arsed trawling through them looking for the decent ones.

I've had some great chats with people recently and I am much more happy with how I manage my inbox these days

I do try to reply to most unless they are vulgar, dick pics, or just "hi how r r u"

What do you send in a message OP?

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds


"amazing how many people are here to chat or whatever. send message nothing rude or bad and it gets deleted or you get blocked. what's a guy to do other than try when girls say we not got a type just like fun and nothing back "

Don't look at your sent folder, its a waste of time and energy. Once its sent its out of your control what happens next.

Myself I concentrate on my inbox or searching for folk who I think we have common interests and message them.

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By *issEmmWoman
over a year ago

Bournemouth

Replying no thanks and being called a fat ugly c word gets a bit old, so now I just ignore those I have no interest in

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"how does someone know they have 2500 messages ??? as i see it you can only see the newest 250 the rest fall of the page ?? so i am interested in how you know ?

If you're on a mobile it tells you

wow ok that i did not know

What I don't understand with women complaining about the amount of messages is why don't they tighten their filters. Or do they like the buzz of how many messages they get. Does it validate them in some way.

For the men who can't get replies...are you trawling hot pics and messaging these profiles. These are obviously profiles who get loads of messages and yours will guaranteed be lost. Narrow your criteria and send quality messages. Maybe more likely to get a reply.

This is in general and no way aimed at anyone.

I haven’t seen any women complain about the number of messages they get. Only about entitled folks thinking that sending a message means a woman is obliged to reply to them.

The only time number of messages gets mentioned is to point out that, for some women, even if they wanted to reply to every message it just wouldn’t be possible.

"

Unread message numbers have been used by lots of women as a humble brag both here in the forums and in private messages.

The private messages are usually accompanied by screenshots to prove their point.

There is no other reason to tell anyone how many unread messages anyone has. Many women complain about the quality and content of messages they receive but refuse to acknowledge any advice that involves applying filters which would reduce those messages.

For every woman on the forums who complains about the number of messages they receive is another who uses those numbers to their advantage and yet another who doesn't receive nasty or poorly written messages at all because they take control of who can contact them and doesn't suffer from fomo.

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By *errocaWoman
over a year ago

Shropshire

Even when you do send a polite, no thank you.. Some still proceed to message again and again.. So sometimes easier to just delete and block..saves a lot of time for both parties.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s all in the FAQS

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.


"how does someone know they have 2500 messages ??? as i see it you can only see the newest 250 the rest fall of the page ?? so i am interested in how you know ?

If you're on a mobile it tells you

wow ok that i did not know

What I don't understand with women complaining about the amount of messages is why don't they tighten their filters. Or do they like the buzz of how many messages they get. Does it validate them in some way.

For the men who can't get replies...are you trawling hot pics and messaging these profiles. These are obviously profiles who get loads of messages and yours will guaranteed be lost. Narrow your criteria and send quality messages. Maybe more likely to get a reply.

This is in general and no way aimed at anyone.

I haven’t seen any women complain about the number of messages they get. Only about entitled folks thinking that sending a message means a woman is obliged to reply to them.

The only time number of messages gets mentioned is to point out that, for some women, even if they wanted to reply to every message it just wouldn’t be possible.

Unread message numbers have been used by lots of women as a humble brag both here in the forums and in private messages.

The private messages are usually accompanied by screenshots to prove their point.

There is no other reason to tell anyone how many unread messages anyone has. Many women complain about the quality and content of messages they receive but refuse to acknowledge any advice that involves applying filters which would reduce those messages.

For every woman on the forums who complains about the number of messages they receive is another who uses those numbers to their advantage and yet another who doesn't receive nasty or poorly written messages at all because they take control of who can contact them and doesn't suffer from fomo. "

The "lady doth protest too much" brigade

Filters, people! X

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"how does someone know they have 2500 messages ??? as i see it you can only see the newest 250 the rest fall of the page ?? so i am interested in how you know ?

If you're on a mobile it tells you

wow ok that i did not know

What I don't understand with women complaining about the amount of messages is why don't they tighten their filters. Or do they like the buzz of how many messages they get. Does it validate them in some way.

For the men who can't get replies...are you trawling hot pics and messaging these profiles. These are obviously profiles who get loads of messages and yours will guaranteed be lost. Narrow your criteria and send quality messages. Maybe more likely to get a reply.

This is in general and no way aimed at anyone.

I haven’t seen any women complain about the number of messages they get. Only about entitled folks thinking that sending a message means a woman is obliged to reply to them.

The only time number of messages gets mentioned is to point out that, for some women, even if they wanted to reply to every message it just wouldn’t be possible.

Unread message numbers have been used by lots of women as a humble brag both here in the forums and in private messages.

The private messages are usually accompanied by screenshots to prove their point.

There is no other reason to tell anyone how many unread messages anyone has. Many women complain about the quality and content of messages they receive but refuse to acknowledge any advice that involves applying filters which would reduce those messages.

For every woman on the forums who complains about the number of messages they receive is another who uses those numbers to their advantage and yet another who doesn't receive nasty or poorly written messages at all because they take control of who can contact them and doesn't suffer from fomo. "

For me it's not about the number, more the content. Why should I reply to someone who clearly hasn't read my profile and why should I set filters so those who do can't message?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"how does someone know they have 2500 messages ??? as i see it you can only see the newest 250 the rest fall of the page ?? so i am interested in how you know ?

If you're on a mobile it tells you

wow ok that i did not know

What I don't understand with women complaining about the amount of messages is why don't they tighten their filters. Or do they like the buzz of how many messages they get. Does it validate them in some way.

For the men who can't get replies...are you trawling hot pics and messaging these profiles. These are obviously profiles who get loads of messages and yours will guaranteed be lost. Narrow your criteria and send quality messages. Maybe more likely to get a reply.

This is in general and no way aimed at anyone.

I haven’t seen any women complain about the number of messages they get. Only about entitled folks thinking that sending a message means a woman is obliged to reply to them.

The only time number of messages gets mentioned is to point out that, for some women, even if they wanted to reply to every message it just wouldn’t be possible.

Unread message numbers have been used by lots of women as a humble brag both here in the forums and in private messages.

The private messages are usually accompanied by screenshots to prove their point.

There is no other reason to tell anyone how many unread messages anyone has. Many women complain about the quality and content of messages they receive but refuse to acknowledge any advice that involves applying filters which would reduce those messages.

For every woman on the forums who complains about the number of messages they receive is another who uses those numbers to their advantage and yet another who doesn't receive nasty or poorly written messages at all because they take control of who can contact them and doesn't suffer from fomo.

For me it's not about the number, more the content. Why should I reply to someone who clearly hasn't read my profile and why should I set filters so those who do can't message? "

Exactly this! If people would just read profiles it could all be avoided.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"how does someone know they have 2500 messages ??? as i see it you can only see the newest 250 the rest fall of the page ?? so i am interested in how you know ?

If you're on a mobile it tells you

wow ok that i did not know

What I don't understand with women complaining about the amount of messages is why don't they tighten their filters. Or do they like the buzz of how many messages they get. Does it validate them in some way.

For the men who can't get replies...are you trawling hot pics and messaging these profiles. These are obviously profiles who get loads of messages and yours will guaranteed be lost. Narrow your criteria and send quality messages. Maybe more likely to get a reply.

This is in general and no way aimed at anyone.

I haven’t seen any women complain about the number of messages they get. Only about entitled folks thinking that sending a message means a woman is obliged to reply to them.

The only time number of messages gets mentioned is to point out that, for some women, even if they wanted to reply to every message it just wouldn’t be possible.

Unread message numbers have been used by lots of women as a humble brag both here in the forums and in private messages.

The private messages are usually accompanied by screenshots to prove their point.

There is no other reason to tell anyone how many unread messages anyone has. Many women complain about the quality and content of messages they receive but refuse to acknowledge any advice that involves applying filters which would reduce those messages.

For every woman on the forums who complains about the number of messages they receive is another who uses those numbers to their advantage and yet another who doesn't receive nasty or poorly written messages at all because they take control of who can contact them and doesn't suffer from fomo.

The "lady doth protest too much" brigade

Filters, people! X"

I have unverified blocked, no public photos blocked and I don’t allow all ages to mail, my filters are pretty tight.

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By *toC Thats MeWoman
over a year ago

Sheffield


"how does someone know they have 2500 messages ??? as i see it you can only see the newest 250 the rest fall of the page ?? so i am interested in how you know ?

If you're on a mobile it tells you

wow ok that i did not know

What I don't understand with women complaining about the amount of messages is why don't they tighten their filters. Or do they like the buzz of how many messages they get. Does it validate them in some way.

For the men who can't get replies...are you trawling hot pics and messaging these profiles. These are obviously profiles who get loads of messages and yours will guaranteed be lost. Narrow your criteria and send quality messages. Maybe more likely to get a reply.

This is in general and no way aimed at anyone.

I haven’t seen any women complain about the number of messages they get. Only about entitled folks thinking that sending a message means a woman is obliged to reply to them.

The only time number of messages gets mentioned is to point out that, for some women, even if they wanted to reply to every message it just wouldn’t be possible.

Unread message numbers have been used by lots of women as a humble brag both here in the forums and in private messages.

The private messages are usually accompanied by screenshots to prove their point.

There is no other reason to tell anyone how many unread messages anyone has. Many women complain about the quality and content of messages they receive but refuse to acknowledge any advice that involves applying filters which would reduce those messages.

For every woman on the forums who complains about the number of messages they receive is another who uses those numbers to their advantage and yet another who doesn't receive nasty or poorly written messages at all because they take control of who can contact them and doesn't suffer from fomo. "

Very eloquently put

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to be mildly offended when blocked for seemingly no reason, but there doesn't need to be a reason.

I'm awful with remembering names at the best of times, it is handy way to not accidentally click on that person's profile again, or just because you're bored of seeing them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are doing it wrong, op.

Some advice:

Set your profile pic to a blurry, close up pic of your junk in bad lighting (preferably with loads of pubes, semi erect, poking out the top of dirty boxer shorts and with empty tinnies strewn around the floor in the background)

Make all your profile pics variations on the same theme.

Send one line messages in txt spk

Say things like "wanna fuk" or "wank ma dick" etc

Wait five minutes and when you dont have a reply, send repeated abusive messages.

You still wont get a reply, but you might get a shout out in the forums that way

As said... A good number of profiles on here are fakes, either men with a couples account or female account, or just bored people and fantasists.

Men heavily outnumber women. Women cant be arsed with saying "nope" over and over. Even when you get a conversation going your messages can quickly be swamped and lost by the volume of incoming traffic from others. Even if she starts chatting she will likely have several other conversations on the go, so while you are waiting with baited breath / hunched over madly firing spunk into the carpet under the desk, she is trying to juggle a bunch of different conversations and that is draining (also explains why women can be very passive in chat).

This place is possibly the worst place to find hookups. Honestly you are better off joining clubs and groups that are aligned with your interest and meeting people that way. This place is only good for destroying the self esteem of rejection junkies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh and if you are messaging the ones that look smoking hot like "AtOc thats me" or "Mixedraceand40" up there ^ (and plenty of others!)- dont waste your keyboard strokes. Ladies that look like that have inboxes that reach critical mass and detonate every 3-5 days and believe me they arent looking to invite ugly needy cunts like me and you when they have the pick of the bunch and this aint the place for our dazzling personalities, witty charms and devilishly diabolical flirtation skills to really shine mate get yourself to clubs and socials if you are intent on being in the swinging lifestyle and you might just strike lucky. Dont use this place as your primary means of meeting someone unless you are prepared to do a lot of legwork.

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Oh and if you are messaging the ones that look smoking hot like "AtOc thats me" or "Mixedraceand40" up there ^ (and plenty of others!)- dont waste your keyboard strokes. Ladies that look like that have inboxes that reach critical mass and detonate every 3-5 days and believe me they arent looking to invite ugly needy cunts like me and you when they have the pick of the bunch and this aint the place for our dazzling personalities, witty charms and devilishly diabolical flirtation skills to really shine mate get yourself to clubs and socials if you are intent on being in the swinging lifestyle and you might just strike lucky. Dont use this place as your primary means of meeting someone unless you are prepared to do a lot of legwork. "

................................

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I used to be mildly offended when blocked for seemingly no reason, but there doesn't need to be a reason.

I'm awful with remembering names at the best of times, it is handy way to not accidentally click on that person's profile again, or just because you're bored of seeing them."

I regularly block people as a filtering tool. Either they said no thanks, or they are very clear in their profile that I would not be welcome, or forum interactions indicate they arent someone I want to meet. Its nowt personal, just stops me having to remember and prevents me pestering them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh and if you are messaging the ones that look smoking hot like "AtOc thats me" or "Mixedraceand40" up there ^ (and plenty of others!)- dont waste your keyboard strokes. Ladies that look like that have inboxes that reach critical mass and detonate every 3-5 days and believe me they arent looking to invite ugly needy cunts like me and you when they have the pick of the bunch and this aint the place for our dazzling personalities, witty charms and devilishly diabolical flirtation skills to really shine mate get yourself to clubs and socials if you are intent on being in the swinging lifestyle and you might just strike lucky. Dont use this place as your primary means of meeting someone unless you are prepared to do a lot of legwork.

................................

"

Yeah, you're another one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I used to be mildly offended when blocked for seemingly no reason, but there doesn't need to be a reason.

I'm awful with remembering names at the best of times, it is handy way to not accidentally click on that person's profile again, or just because you're bored of seeing them.

I regularly block people as a filtering tool. Either they said no thanks, or they are very clear in their profile that I would not be welcome, or forum interactions indicate they arent someone I want to meet. Its nowt personal, just stops me having to remember and prevents me pestering them. "

Yeah I do the exact same just makes it easier for both parties and think its nice that they’ve talked to be they should be free of my bs.

Will also avoid hitting on women who message me first.I don’t message people I interact with ok the forums most of the time full stop

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"amazing how many people are here to chat or whatever. send message nothing rude or bad and it gets deleted or you get blocked. what's a guy to do other than try when girls say we not got a type just like fun and nothing back "

PS

I read your profile while pretending to be a girl... It did not make my imaginary girly garden tingle. I am sure a military lad like you has some great crack and top bants hiding away in there somewhere, let it out and let it shine brudda! Lets see what ya look like out in the sunshine doing what you love rather than pulling daft faces in a broom cupboard or whatever you were doing in your profile pic. Dont be a grey man! Sparkle and shine like a stallion unicorn. Or at least a rhino rolled in glitter...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I used to be mildly offended when blocked for seemingly no reason, but there doesn't need to be a reason.

I'm awful with remembering names at the best of times, it is handy way to not accidentally click on that person's profile again, or just because you're bored of seeing them.

I regularly block people as a filtering tool. Either they said no thanks, or they are very clear in their profile that I would not be welcome, or forum interactions indicate they arent someone I want to meet. Its nowt personal, just stops me having to remember and prevents me pestering them.

Yeah I do the exact same just makes it easier for both parties and think its nice that they’ve talked to be they should be free of my bs.

Will also avoid hitting on women who message me first.I don’t message people I interact with ok the forums most of the time full stop"

"Woman who messages me first" - what kind of witchcraft is this?!?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Unread message numbers have been used by lots of women as a humble brag both here in the forums and in private messages.

The private messages are usually accompanied by screenshots to prove their point.

There is no other reason to tell anyone how many unread messages anyone has. Many women complain about the quality and content of messages they receive but refuse to acknowledge any advice that involves applying filters which would reduce those messages.

For every woman on the forums who complains about the number of messages they receive is another who uses those numbers to their advantage and yet another who doesn't receive nasty or poorly written messages at all because they take control of who can contact them and doesn't suffer from fomo. "

Reading this, with no acknowledgement of the appalling crap messages from men and the part they play, it doesn't sound like you like many women. I've had filters high for months. I still get dross. I still get dick pics. I like for men to message because I have no confidence to message them much of the time. I like to join in forum challenges. If a woman shares how many unread messages - they're often defending themselves against men having a go about no replies.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"

Unread message numbers have been used by lots of women as a humble brag both here in the forums and in private messages.

The private messages are usually accompanied by screenshots to prove their point.

There is no other reason to tell anyone how many unread messages anyone has. Many women complain about the quality and content of messages they receive but refuse to acknowledge any advice that involves applying filters which would reduce those messages.

For every woman on the forums who complains about the number of messages they receive is another who uses those numbers to their advantage and yet another who doesn't receive nasty or poorly written messages at all because they take control of who can contact them and doesn't suffer from fomo.

Reading this, with no acknowledgement of the appalling crap messages from men and the part they play, it doesn't sound like you like many women. I've had filters high for months. I still get dross. I still get dick pics. I like for men to message because I have no confidence to message them much of the time. I like to join in forum challenges. If a woman shares how many unread messages - they're often defending themselves against men having a go about no replies. "

That just explains why you seem to misread every comment I make on here. I am surrounded by women. Some of my favourite people are women. Some of the strongest people I know are women. I worked for a woman for more than 2 decades and she was a great boss.

My issue with a lot of the comments on here is that there are far too many people, both men and women who see their own reflection in things that are said on here and are immediately triggered amd have to defend their corner.

You are entitled to think what you like about me but strangely almost every conversation I have on this site is initiated by women who understand exactly what I am saying and are in complete agreement.

I'd love someone to actually explain to me the point in having hundreds or thousands of unread messages.

It's a lazy excuse thrown into threads every day about how women couldn't possibly reply to every message because they are inundated but yet some of the most successful women on these forums don't have that issue at all. Why is that I wonder?

Men who start negative threads about why they can't get meets or replies to messages are castigated and told their negativity will get them nowhere and yet some women don't practice what they preach and spend their time refusing to use the tools offered by the site and wonder why their experience hasn't improved.

The point is that if you have 20 unread messages you will at some stage open those and possibly reply or maybe not.

If you have 1000 unread messages you are never going to make a dent in them so just bulk delete rather than use them as the female version of dick measuring.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast


"

Unread message numbers have been used by lots of women as a humble brag both here in the forums and in private messages.

The private messages are usually accompanied by screenshots to prove their point.

There is no other reason to tell anyone how many unread messages anyone has. Many women complain about the quality and content of messages they receive but refuse to acknowledge any advice that involves applying filters which would reduce those messages.

For every woman on the forums who complains about the number of messages they receive is another who uses those numbers to their advantage and yet another who doesn't receive nasty or poorly written messages at all because they take control of who can contact them and doesn't suffer from fomo.

Reading this, with no acknowledgement of the appalling crap messages from men and the part they play, it doesn't sound like you like many women. I've had filters high for months. I still get dross. I still get dick pics. I like for men to message because I have no confidence to message them much of the time. I like to join in forum challenges. If a woman shares how many unread messages - they're often defending themselves against men having a go about no replies.

That just explains why you seem to misread every comment I make on here. I am surrounded by women. Some of my favourite people are women. Some of the strongest people I know are women. I worked for a woman for more than 2 decades and she was a great boss.

My issue with a lot of the comments on here is that there are far too many people, both men and women who see their own reflection in things that are said on here and are immediately triggered amd have to defend their corner.

You are entitled to think what you like about me but strangely almost every conversation I have on this site is initiated by women who understand exactly what I am saying and are in complete agreement.

I'd love someone to actually explain to me the point in having hundreds or thousands of unread messages.

It's a lazy excuse thrown into threads every day about how women couldn't possibly reply to every message because they are inundated but yet some of the most successful women on these forums don't have that issue at all. Why is that I wonder?

Men who start negative threads about why they can't get meets or replies to messages are castigated and told their negativity will get them nowhere and yet some women don't practice what they preach and spend their time refusing to use the tools offered by the site and wonder why their experience hasn't improved.

The point is that if you have 20 unread messages you will at some stage open those and possibly reply or maybe not.

If you have 1000 unread messages you are never going to make a dent in them so just bulk delete rather than use them as the female version of dick measuring. "

Just to add, why would I acknowledge appalling crap messages?

That's totally unrelated to my original point. The clue was in the very first word.. Unread!

Content is irrelevant because the messages have never been opened.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Unread message numbers have been used by lots of women as a humble brag both here in the forums and in private messages.

The private messages are usually accompanied by screenshots to prove their point.

There is no other reason to tell anyone how many unread messages anyone has. Many women complain about the quality and content of messages they receive but refuse to acknowledge any advice that involves applying filters which would reduce those messages.

For every woman on the forums who complains about the number of messages they receive is another who uses those numbers to their advantage and yet another who doesn't receive nasty or poorly written messages at all because they take control of who can contact them and doesn't suffer from fomo.

Reading this, with no acknowledgement of the appalling crap messages from men and the part they play, it doesn't sound like you like many women. I've had filters high for months. I still get dross. I still get dick pics. I like for men to message because I have no confidence to message them much of the time. I like to join in forum challenges. If a woman shares how many unread messages - they're often defending themselves against men having a go about no replies.

That just explains why you seem to misread every comment I make on here. I am surrounded by women. Some of my favourite people are women. Some of the strongest people I know are women. I worked for a woman for more than 2 decades and she was a great boss.

My issue with a lot of the comments on here is that there are far too many people, both men and women who see their own reflection in things that are said on here and are immediately triggered amd have to defend their corner.

You are entitled to think what you like about me but strangely almost every conversation I have on this site is initiated by women who understand exactly what I am saying and are in complete agreement.

I'd love someone to actually explain to me the point in having hundreds or thousands of unread messages.

It's a lazy excuse thrown into threads every day about how women couldn't possibly reply to every message because they are inundated but yet some of the most successful women on these forums don't have that issue at all. Why is that I wonder?

Men who start negative threads about why they can't get meets or replies to messages are castigated and told their negativity will get them nowhere and yet some women don't practice what they preach and spend their time refusing to use the tools offered by the site and wonder why their experience hasn't improved.

The point is that if you have 20 unread messages you will at some stage open those and possibly reply or maybe not.

If you have 1000 unread messages you are never going to make a dent in them so just bulk delete rather than use them as the female version of dick measuring. "

I have in the past complimented you on several threads for your insightful comments, Reality. Challenging you on a couple of threads is just that - I disagree with some of your opinions. As you may disagree with mine. I don't "misread", I just read with my perspective. As you do.

Personally I choose not to open up my inbox to all and sundry. Yes there will be some who enjoy being popular and gain something from that. Validation, whatever. But I will defend the right of anyone to run their profile as they wish. For whatever reasons they have.

I won't defend those who send the dick pics, the graphic messages, the abusive ones, the repetitive ones etc. I still get them with my filters set tight. I am not the problem - the people who send the damn messages and don't read my profile are the problem. I am defensive of other women here because I know how overwhelming it can be.

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By *incsladyandscotsmanCouple
over a year ago

North fife

We are guilty of that. We do have a reason. We are looking for a particular something... Its all mentioned in our profile. We also advise that we will not reply to messages if the person sending the message does not meet what we are looking for, or has a blank profile or is not verified.

We don't want to waste anyone's or our time. It's nothing person. Just read profiles is the key before messaging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"amazing how many people are here to chat or whatever. send message nothing rude or bad and it gets deleted or you get blocked. what's a guy to do other than try when girls say we not got a type just like fun and nothing back "

Lots of people on here are just rude. Happens to everyone...the casual cruelty

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home


"amazing how many people are here to chat or whatever. send message nothing rude or bad and it gets deleted or you get blocked. what's a guy to do other than try when girls say we not got a type just like fun and nothing back

Lots of people on here are just rude. Happens to everyone...the casual cruelty "
you need a seriously thick skin on here or you'll never survive, if they delete your message just move on its their loss not yours

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

If I message back and say no thank you, some people see it as opening a chat and they continue messaging, thinking that they can change my mind.

I've even had somebody say I must be a little bit interested as I took the time to reply and say no thank you.

Send your messages and then delete them from your outbox, if someone wants to reply they will, anything else a no thank you.

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By *hancer666Man
over a year ago

Redbourn


"amazing how many people are here to chat or whatever. send message nothing rude or bad and it gets deleted or you get blocked. what's a guy to do other than try when girls say we not got a type just like fun and nothing back

Lots of people on here are just rude. Happens to everyone...the casual cruelty you need a seriously thick skin on here or you'll never survive, if they delete your message just move on its their loss not yours "


"amazing how many people are here to chat or whatever. send message nothing rude or bad and it gets deleted or you get blocked. what's a guy to do other than try when girls say we not got a type just like fun and nothing back "

They are entitled to block and delete,and its neither rude or impolite. It can only that way if that was there intention and reason for pressing block, ridiculous to think for obvious reasons...you saying its rude is how you took it. You clearly assume it should be mandatory and polite to get a response and explanation for not wanting to talk, and by this that they have to respond to every message they get, not just yours. They get hundreds of messages....if i did id probably block and delete its good admin. Your messaging people that are looking for single guys, they will be chatting and arranging whatever with single guys unless you assume they block everyone. So if they have met single guys, those single guys didn't get blocked upto that point. So couples and single women are having fun, the single guys that they have fun with are also having fun. Your not having fun, the why is irrelevant because you need to change something, if youve tried everything though theres only one thing to do after that. It reads patronising and it is a little if honest but if you seriously are puzzled why your not getting any action, even after all this thread the kindest thing to do would be to delete your profile before the thread was closed.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down


"amazing how many people are here to chat or whatever. send message nothing rude or bad and it gets deleted or you get blocked. what's a guy to do other than try when girls say we not got a type just like fun and nothing back

Lots of people on here are just rude. Happens to everyone...the casual cruelty you need a seriously thick skin on here or you'll never survive, if they delete your message just move on its their loss not yours "

It's not their loss tho,as they aren't interested in you in the first place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have messaged men who read and don’t reply. So honestly this works both ways. If there’s no physical or attraction from the profile then I take it as a no thanks. I have no issues with it

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

When visible my profile is very specific regarding the type of person I'm looking for. I also state i will not respond to anyone outwith what I'm looking for: and i don't!

Everyone meeting my criteria gets a response which leaves them feeling positive (I hope).

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

Fab rules and etticate states, no reply not interested. We quite clearly say on our profile, if we're out and looking we have a meet or statuts up. We get bombared daily with offers. Why should we spend our time replying, when they can't be bothered to read?

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By *onnyJohnMan
over a year ago

Doncaster

Personally I respond to every message, thankfully though I don't have the same issue of being inundated by messages so it's infinitely easier to reply even if it's a "no thanks".

There is no magic trick to get responses and as has been said many times above, no reply simply means "no thanks", as frustrating as it can be just leave it at that and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You would be surprised how many messages we get from people that can't be bothered to read profile properly and understand - so we can't be bothered to reply

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By *hancer666Man
over a year ago

Redbourn

[Removed by poster at 24/03/22 08:41:19]

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By *hancer666Man
over a year ago

Redbourn


"Personally I respond to every message, thankfully though I don't have the same issue of being inundated by messages so it's infinitely easier to reply even if it's a "no thanks".

There is no magic trick to get responses and as has been said many times above, no reply simply means "no thanks", as frustrating as it can be just leave it at that and move on. "

From one donny boy to another last paragraph here is bang on flower and nicely wraps it all up. Its what i kind of meant, and would have liked to have written instead of the sarcastic waffle of a rant i did write.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

When people say here to chat it tends to mean here to chat to people their interested in. I generally don't think it means here to chat to any stranger off the Internet if they're are not intrested in them. Because people are generally here to fulfill their desires not other peoples if its not mutual.

A deleted message is also good for you because it's saves you investing anymore time and effort into something that will be fruitless.

A bit of a blunt answer I know but that's basically how I see it. If you sent an unsolicited message you shouldn't expect a reply back. Strangers don't owe you anything for your effort that they didn't ask for.

Mr

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By *onnyJohnMan
over a year ago

Doncaster


"Personally I respond to every message, thankfully though I don't have the same issue of being inundated by messages so it's infinitely easier to reply even if it's a "no thanks".

There is no magic trick to get responses and as has been said many times above, no reply simply means "no thanks", as frustrating as it can be just leave it at that and move on.

From one donny boy to another last paragraph here is bang on flower and nicely wraps it all up. Its what i kind of meant, and would have liked to have written instead of the sarcastic waffle of a rant i did write. "

The world would be a duller place if not for the odd sarcastic rant now and again, good work mate

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