FabSwingers.com forum: People pleasers

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Have we turned into a nation of people pleasers? It appears there are alot that will do/say anything to keep the peace. Are you a people pleaser?

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By *alentedfMan
over a year ago

Near Newbury

Short answer is no.

I've always gone with be more wolf than sheep.

Be kind but don't suffer fools gladly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol sadly yes I am.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Short answer is no.

I've always gone with be more wolf than sheep.

Be kind but don't suffer fools gladly. "

That was short and straight to the point, I have to agree I'm the same but I can't help feel as a nation we are people pleasers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When speech is silver, silence is gold.

So if my silence will avoid any confrontation with others then I will keep quiet.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

I'd rather make someone smile than cry.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'd rather make someone smile than cry.

We all want that Chunky

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Nope. I don't go out of my way to displease people but I won't compromise myself to please other people or make myself look good

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We've always been a nation with a lot of people pleasers among the population.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like a peaceful life so it depends on whats required to settle the situation. If i can sort it tactfully and amicably, i will. If not…mayhem reigns

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brits queue. Silent death stares to anyone who cuts in front.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have we turned into a nation of people pleasers? It appears there are alot that will do/say anything to keep the peace. Are you a people pleaser? "

No, whilst I will do all I can to keep things cool, if there's something that needs said it gets said. Bottling up your feelings on an issue can end up worse as it festers and causes more problems in the end. Queuing in the supermarket still gets my blood up as the space invaders stand way too close - they get a big stare followed by a stern talking to quite quickly if they don't move sharpish! I tend to play it cool in a restaurant though - never upset the people who are serving your food

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

Nothing wrong with diplomacy a time and place to air one’s views. It’s not people pleasing it’s about finding the right time and solution to whatever the problem is or was.

I always play the long game I know what I believe and will express those beliefs at the right time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like a peaceful life so it depends on whats required to settle the situation. If i can sort it tactfully and amicably, i will. If not…mayhem reigns

Haha love this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think if it's regarding disrespect of any sort. You have to look out for yourself. They will only become confrontational as they know deep down you're right/ they were wrong.

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

I have always been a people pleaser. It stems from my childhood where I grew up in an argumentative and sometimes violent household. I therefore hated arguments in relationships and saw them only as negative. I went into nursing and worked always aiming for unachievable high standards, until my health suffered.

Only in my 50s am I learning to become more assertive, say what I really think and consider my own needs. I am no longer a doormat that never says no, but it's a hard habit to break.

Sorry if that's all a bit personal, but I'm happy to share my background, if it helps others realise what harm people pleasing can do.

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By *aughty but nice...Man
over a year ago

Staffs

I do tend to be a people pleaser as I just like to be surrounded by happy people

However and a number of friends have told me this that I quite often over look my own happiness in pursuit of everyone else's

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Brits queue. Silent death stares to anyone who cuts in front. "

or very loud comments to anyone but the person doing the cutting in

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By *iggingMan
over a year ago

Oldham

"Brits queue. Silent death stares to anyone who cuts in front.

or very loud comments to anyone but the person doing the cutting in "

this

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have always been a people pleaser. It stems from my childhood where I grew up in an argumentative and sometimes violent household. I therefore hated arguments in relationships and saw them only as negative. I went into nursing and worked always aiming for unachievable high standards, until my health suffered.

Only in my 50s am I learning to become more assertive, say what I really think and consider my own needs. I am no longer a doormat that never says no, but it's a hard habit to break.

Sorry if that's all a bit personal, but I'm happy to share my background, if it helps others realise what harm people pleasing can do.

Do you feel better for it Lizzy?

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By *yesgreenMan
over a year ago

north and south

Only in my 50s am I learning to become more assertive, say what I really think and consider my own needs. I am no longer a doormat that never says no, but it's a hard habit to break.

Sorry if that's all a bit personal, but I'm happy to share my background, if it helps others realise what harm people pleasing can do.

Do you feel better for it Lizzy?"
No I deliberately don’t put on safe sex as it’s negotiable plus I’m a wolf I lead the pack

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By *wesomeLolaCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough and Buckinghamshire

Absolutely not, except in the bedroom.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where i dont go out my way to please someone just because they may get the hump, i now lack the patience to want to be in the company with someone that is easily offended

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve always been one that struggles following the crowd, rather make my own mind up first.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

In fab terms alone I used to refer to goldfishing. This is when someone agrees on a thread with someone they wish to be associated with but after circumnavigating the bowl a couple of times they pop back in to agree with someone else who offers the completely opposite opinion of the first.

Another way of viewing it is that just like we often set our browser to delete cookies when we close it, some fabbers log out and lose all track of opinions they've expressed before and log back in with a clean slate and a conflicting view to the last one if it suits a particular agenda.

People pleasing may well be a sign that we aren't assertive enough but often it is more about a conscious decision to ingratiate ourselves with others.

Being all things to all men.

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By *adbod198Man
over a year ago

newport

I don't know why but I love to please , it just makes me feel happy for some reason.

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By *issyfaggotfayeTV/TS
over a year ago

Bolton

No, certain idiot in forums lately has been making too big a deal of being blocked. Not my type. Full stop. My choice. So certainly not a people pleaser. Cock is another subject as I like to please that

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By *willfindyouWoman
over a year ago

Not looking to meet new peeps.

I have told in real life I am that. I cant change who I am.

but I wish I could. x

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By *ittlekinks38Woman
over a year ago

outside belfast x

Nope not a ppl pleaser anymore in some respect since joining fab I don't go outta my way to please ppl as in small chat if am not interested to meet them! I don't know how to flirt either so yeh can be a bit of a hindrance when chatting even if I do like them!

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By *yesgreenMan
over a year ago

north and south

"Nope not a ppl pleaser anymore in some respect since joining fab I don't go outta my way to please ppl as in small chat if am not interested to meet them! I don't know how to flirt either so yeh can be a bit of a hindrance when chatting even if I do like them!

"
I enjoy pleasure pleasing a lady of course but I want them to Investigate my profile and ask Questions and chat banter after all it’s equal rights plus they have so many messages they are never going to get to mine anyway so if I’m hard to get its still enjoyable life

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Some people consider me blunt. I just prefer honest. It's not the done thing these days.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Some people consider me blunt. I just prefer honest. It's not the done thing these days."

I prefer that approach.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"Some people consider me blunt. I just prefer honest. It's not the done thing these days.

I prefer that approach."

My employer suggested I needed course to soften my image

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By *ighty_tightyMan
over a year ago

Norfolk/Suffolk

Yes and no.

I love to please, I'm totally unselfish. I'll do anything to make my partner happy/satisfied.

In the rest of my life less so. I don't like to argue but I will fight my corner and won't accept shite

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am a people pleaser much to my detriment but slowly I am starting to build up a hard exterior, due to my recent circumstances

And from now on will I only let people I consider close friends see the big softie side of me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Brits queue. Silent death stares to anyone who cuts in front.

or very loud comments to anyone but the person doing the cutting in "

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"Brits queue. Silent death stares to anyone who cuts in front.

or very loud comments to anyone but the person doing the cutting in

Oops, that's me, although I normally get vocal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Brits queue. Silent death stares to anyone who cuts in front.

or very loud comments to anyone but the person doing the cutting in

Oops, that's me, although I normally get vocal

I'm the death stare.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"Brits queue. Silent death stares to anyone who cuts in front.

or very loud comments to anyone but the person doing the cutting in

Oops, that's me, although I normally get vocal

I'm the death stare.

Secretly murdering them in your mind? Got ya!

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By *avie65Man
over a year ago

In the west.

I wouldn't do anything to please someone but I also don't like to fall out with anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab seems to be full of people pleasers. However I've broken this down to the fact men will do absolutely anything for even a whiff of an axe wound. Even if it means agreeing with absolutely anything a woman says.

If your a woman reading this and you disagree.. I fully agree with you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try to avoid conflict but I will say my thoughts and stand up for what I believe in, in a considerate tactful way.

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By *orbidden eastMan
over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

I’ll keep the peace but don’t take the piss simple

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By *lim_funMan
over a year ago

Hebden bridge

Not at all, I love poking the sleeping beast and being abit of an edge lord with controversy but at the same time, I do get off on pleasing women (going down)

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

I enjoy pleasing it's just the way I grow up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A ‘ people pleaser’ in the way you’re explaining it sounds like someone with no backbone who just agrees. It can also be someone who tries to compromise because they have the strength of character to realise not everyone can communicate as well as others

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

"Have we turned into a nation of people pleasers? It appears there are alot that will do/say anything to keep the peace. Are you a people pleaser? "

Until they piss me off i guess i am

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Go in the virus forum...

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

Only in my 50s am I learning to become more assertive, say what I really think and consider my own needs. I am no longer a doormat that never says no, but it's a hard habit to break.

Sorry if that's all a bit personal, but I'm happy to share my background, if it helps others realise what harm people pleasing can do.

Do you feel better for it Lizzy?"

Yes I do feel better now I've started to acknowledge my own worth. I sometimes find myself feeling guilty when I say no, but it has definitely helped my mental health putting my needs more important than I did previously

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Nope. I'm not one for blowing smoke up people arses just to become one of the sheep.

I say what I think (which gets me into so much trouble at times) but I will not bow down to the masses x

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