FabSwingers.com forum: Single guys outcast

By *dluv2 OP Man
over a year ago

glasgow

Hi everyone i was just wondering what is it us single guys have 2 do to prove we are genuine.

I am never pushy always polite never disrespectful to anyone male or female, am not here to perv i am here cause i love sex, i never tell anyone any lies.

It just seems to me that all the single men are tarred with the same brush on here and it doesn't give us genuine ones much of a chance.

I am not on here or interested in wasting anyones time but people on here don't even give you the chance to chat or even find out what you are like some don't even reply to your mail "which i think is so rude" I don't just mail apeish pervy comments, i think about what i am saying and read about the person first the least you could get back is a sorry no thanks i guess the whole point of my rant can be summed up to ..................

"how can i prove am genuine without being given a chance " ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi mate,

What you have to realise is that for every woman and cpl on here there are 100s of men. One girl I have been seeing told me she had 200 emails within the first few days. Once you realise you are a grain of sand in the desert, you can relax and start having some fun

Stick with it !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yeh some 1 else told me she did had about 200 as soon as she join the site

it just takes time 2 go threw the mails

i have been here for several months an only met 2 people an done a social lunch iam still finding it hard 2 meet the females

it will happen soon enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the club scene like in Glasgow as that is a good way to get to meet folk. No guarantee you will get to play but at least it will get you some exposure and maybe lead to what you seek.

As regards no replies to your emails you are just going to have to suck that one up, it will happen more often than not and to be honest you cant expect everyone to reply, it's just not realistic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi mate,

Stick with it !"

Well said!

Also remember, not every couple or single female are looking for single guys, I imagine it is tough out there as a single guy, all I can suggest is to be courteous with your messages, keep your profile up to date and keep trying.

Though we state on our profile we are not currently seeking single males as we have plenty we are in touch with we still get many messages from single guys, so don't let it bother you if you get no reply, just take it as a no and move on.

good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

See if you can get to any socials or clubs to get youself known

Join in with the forums and show us what a nice guy you are lol

Above all be patient it can take some time,there are lots of people that will meet single guys but there are also lots of single guys so you have to stand out from the rest

As with the non reply to mail,a lot of people but not all will say that a no reply equals a no thanks and that although you may say it only takes a second to type thanks but no thanks if you have lots of mail everyday it sometimes just is'nt feasible

Good luck

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By *dluv2 OP Man
over a year ago

glasgow

Don't get me wrong guys am not disheartened nor put off by it,however i am new to this maybe there is alot still to learn.

Thanks for all the nice comments though guys i really appreciate the advice and take on board what you are all saying

P.s Only 200 a day i get double that (when i go to my bed at night and dream lol)

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place

"Don't get me wrong guys am not disheartened nor put off by it,however i am new to this maybe there is alot still to learn.

Thanks for all the nice comments though guys i really appreciate the advice and take on board what you are all saying

P.s Only 200 a day i get double that (when i go to my bed at night and dream lol)"

I have not looked at yours ok but can i say optimise your profile ...its your statement of who you are and you have to ask would it appeal to the type of person\s your seeking to meet.

is it "quality" there has been some good threads on what makes a good profile ...not too long ...cock shots seem to be pretty boring after the first 100 seen ..

Also remember its not about taking its about giving too and if your profile comes over as a bit hit and run it can turn people off ...

hope it all suddenly works for you mate

good luck

MR X

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By *eznhannahCouple
over a year ago

leeds

our advice get yourself veified get to a club get chatting to people and get some "met in person" verificaions, even if you dont play with anyone they will verify that you are polite and genuine,will add anawful lot of credibility to your profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just stick with it and it'll come good in time. Like someone said before there are helluva lot of sinlge guys on here. On top of that many claiming to be couples are actually single guys wasting folks time so they give us genuine ones a bad name. To be fair it must be difficult for genuine couples and ladies to work out who's genuine (and safe) so give it and don't give up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you just have to wait for the right person/persons to come alone, many women and couples meet sing guys, me included thing is theres that many to choose from, and to be honest not realy enough people looking for singles as there are single guts looking.

Not very helpful i know but im afraid thats about the top and bottom of it lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We reply to every mail we get, not everyone does and we don't blame them, most are from guys and cpls who haven't even read the persons profile, many are too ridiculous to even contemplate and unworthy of replying to, some are downright insulting, some are quality.

I never respond to junk mail I get through my letterbox.

A problem we have with replying to all mails is that even when we say "thanks but no thanks" we get more mail from the person ie if we say "sorry according to your profile you are not interested in safe sex so it's a thanks but no thanks" or "sorry we have no interest in people who do not have profile pictures (private gallery pics or msn pics don't interest us) so it's thanks but no thanks" we get people wanting to argue with us telling us why we should change our criteria, we get a lot of abusive mails like "well your a dog anyway".

Don't blame those you write to for not replying blame the couples and singles that spoil it for everyone.

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By *mcouple1Couple
over a year ago

nr warrington

wy not put a face pic in your public gallery ? no 1 should hide away if what they are doing makes them happy x

ps excuses pick from the following lol

1. public job

2. workmates

3. children would see

4. ect ect ect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ohhh noooo, this aint gonna turn into one of them , "i dont get a reply" posts is it, lol

we've had loads of them already ... stick with it op, and welcome to the nut house lol

xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It might also help if you try including on your profile your full name, date of birth, current address, place of work, home and mobile phone numbers, details of family and friends who would be happy to provide a reference, details of the car you drive and a selection of pubs etc you regularly visit...........afterall no 1 should hide away if what they are doing makes them happy...........good grief

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

People have many reasons why they don't have face pics in public ...it does'nt mean they are any less genuine

I applaud those who do but its not something I will be happy doing

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By *mcouple1Couple
over a year ago

nr warrington

looks like a nerve was touched there x

never been to a club in a disguse yet lol

whats wrong with showing your face ??

maybe a new thread should be started x

only posted our comment because going back to the op he would find if he had a face pic and was polite and honest he would be 1 step ahead of the dross

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No nerve touched at all, just offering a moderately humorous slant on your slightly blinkered viewpoint.

But just to satisfy my curiosity how come you guys don't full swap?

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"looks like a nerve was touched there x

never been to a club in a disguse yet lol

whats wrong with showing your face ??

maybe a new thread should be started x

only posted our comment because going back to the op he would find if he had a face pic and was polite and honest he would be 1 step ahead of the dross "

No nerves touched at all and if you look through previous threads you will see that the the subject of face pics has been discussed on more than one occasion

As for being classed as dross if you don't display your face on a swinging website in public well Im clearly dross!!! lol but I feel that those who have seen us and met us would disagree with you greatly

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By *mcouple1Couple
over a year ago

nr warrington

blinkered ? we ave no problem with people hiding their face each to their own after all it was just advice to the op x

we don,t fully swap because we enoy soft swing thats all x we love each other and both ok withh either of us fully swapping but never found a situation were we both wanted to x we all know some people look down on soft swing and thats fine but we never judge anyone x

so to answer your question we have found that on all the meets parties and club visits we have been to we have never found the need to fully swap YET lol x

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By *mcouple1Couple
over a year ago

nr warrington

very sorry to the above people who we may have offended x

when we referred to "dross" we meant the op was asking how to prove e was genuine

and the dross being the usual single guys who we all know spoil it for nice guys out there

and yes we meet singles

very sorry xxx hangs head in shame xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"very sorry to the above people who we may have offended x

when we referred to "dross" we meant the op was asking how to prove e was genuine

and the dross being the usual single guys who we all know spoil it for nice guys out there

and yes we meet singles

very sorry xxx hangs head in shame xxx"

S'ok xx lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you have no problem with people having no face pics why did you issue the OP with a set of expected excuses in that we have heard them all before manner, why question my response in a similar fashion and why does the same subject have some prominence on your profile?

My question with regards to soft swing was simply an attempt to put the boot on the other foot, imagine if rather than the polite manner I asked it I gave a shopping list of the perceived reasons why folk soft swing?

Folk who do not post face pics do so out of their own free choice and for reasons that are valid to them which should be understood as opposed to being sniggered at.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OK thread is going slighty adrift but have to add my comments (don't I always)

We have face pics, it is our choice, we respect those that don't have face pics, however ....... We do not see a problem with having face pics in your private gallery so that you can :-

Include them in mails you send when introducing yourself to someone here.

Allow certain people to see them by adding those people to your friends list.

That said no pictures at all and you go straight on our block list, we personally have no interest in people who have no pictures whatsoever, how can we hope to make a descision to meet someone if we have no idea what they look like ?

The same applies to those who only have pictures of thier body parts, neither myself or Sasha enjoy clicking on a name in chat to be confronted by a close up shot of a dick, a pussy or just a pair of tits, I am straight I don't want to see a dick in my face, I don't even enjoy seeing an open pussy staring at me in close up, I have seen one before and I know what they look like thanks.

What we do like to see is a body shot showing shape, clothed or unclothed makes no difference providing we can make out the body shape, that is our choice.

Now that means that you can have your face blurred or removed from the photo to preserve your anonanimity, you can turn your back if you want.

From single males we like to see a picture that only thier wife would recognise, not thier family and workmates, if they have a wife that is, and if they are saying they are single they shouldn't have, this helps us eliminate married and cheating people (same applies to single women but we aren't looking for single women at this time), if we find a mutual interest from those pictures we would expect the person to show us face pics in thier mail to us, not on msn, we don't use msn.

That's us, others think differently

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now the soft swing - we soft swing and we full play, it depends on the mood on the night and how everyone is feeling.

We are happy to play with people who soft of full swing.

We have found that quite often soft play has been even more fullfilling than full play, soft play for us, is about the erotica of it all, there tends to be a lot more oral sex involved, a lot more carressing and touching, basically it can be far more sensual and then returning to your partners for full sex, we see nothing wrong with this.

What we don't do is "no play" 4 people same room but only touching your own partner - no thanks, personal choice but not interested, we can go to the couples room at chameleons and experience that any night of the week.

Girl on girl with males only touching thier own partners, no thanks, what I am allowed to do my partner is allowed to do and Vicky Verky. I am not there as an ornament, if my partner wants to play girl on girl only she can head off to bed or a club room with the girl and have the time of her life without having me there to watch or impede her fun.

That's us you do what you want

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Do you think we have scared the OP away?

Come back!!its ok on here really, threads often take on a mind of their own...honest lol

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By *teve_SoleilCouple
over a year ago

Malaysia

Well....first off if a don't keep on asking when you wanna meet? or when in cam...can I see you naked or can I have naked pictures of you...show that you are cool and not hoping too much...show that you are cool with the pace and how things are going...and always read the couples profile and show if you have any experience..:D

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place

"looks like a nerve was touched there x

never been to a club in a disguse yet lol

whats wrong with showing your face ??

maybe a new thread should be started x

only posted our comment because going back to the op he would find if he had a face pic and was polite and honest he would be 1 step ahead of the dross "

ha ha ha dross ....what an arrogant word and so dismissive ....i dont have any pics ...go take a look at how this dross is doing ....

a happy piece of dross

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By *mcouple1Couple
over a year ago

nr warrington

instead of reading our words as aimed at you all personally read the original post at the top he is asking how to prove himself to be more genuine and therefore the advice given wether usefull or not was just that ADVICE and as for he dross coment can you honestly say there are no single men on here who are not classed as that because there are stronger words out there x

and to be honest we wish they would go away so we can find nice singles as we love the company of them .

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By *dluv2 OP Man
over a year ago

glasgow

"Do you think we have scared the OP away?

Come back!!its ok on here really, threads often take on a mind of their own...honest lol"

Don't worry it will take alot more than that 2 scare me away lol.

I do have face pics that i keep in my private gallery and happly give them out after i have chatted 2 someone for a bit, i like to know a bit about a person first though.

As mentioned earlier, one thing i don't do is keep messaging someone after they say no (Stalkers do that lol)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oooo stalkers, can i have one please lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i be your stalker lol

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By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting

"i be your stalker lol"

Leaf it....

Yr Barkin up wrong tree...lol

xxx

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

There are some genuine couples on here who are looking for single males. We always reply even if its a polite no thanks. Advice to the single guys - be polite, read our profile, show ur face when asked and be willing to chat on the phone. 99.9 per cent of the guys on here are great - don't lose heart guys!x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been on the scene as a single male for 5 years and been on a number of sites.

You're not alone in the genuine guy tarred with the same brush catagory.

it is difficult! i was recently turned down because the person didn't beleive i would travel 1 hour just to meet and not expect sex!

The whole verification thing is a tricky one and a bit of a chicken and egg scenario, but it seems to be what people on here want.

I have had some great meets and made some good friends too.

Attending socials REALLY helps.

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By *dluv2 OP Man
over a year ago

glasgow

Attending socials sound's like a great idea but again that is not so easy for a single guy to get invited to, think you have to know the right people for that !!

But hey i am relatively new to this so in time that could be a possibility, am not hoping it all happens overnight "good things comes to those who wait" so i have been told lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That was a funny comment about not putting a face pic up from the cpl. Dont get me wrong I'm very open-minded to things but not everyone else is. Least of all the people I work with.

To the original poster personally I would go to a club instead. It seems like a massive waste of time trying to meet anyone on here so I wouldnt even bother.

Some of the attitudes you get are terrible and border on abusive. All the "Can you read/are you thick?" stuff.

God knows what sort of mail they have received to get that way.

So I just wouldnt bother. Go to a club.

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By *dventurous PhotographerMan
over a year ago

Central Beds

It is a numbers game, I must admit those members I have met, I knew before I joined.

I have yet to meet someone on here.

You just keep trying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The OP asks "how can I prove I am genuine without being given a chance?" As other have said, you need:

1. patience (you’ve only been a member for 4 weeks)

2. verification (you should do the photo-verification as it is something you can do yourself, but it is nowhere near as important as being verified by people you’ve met)

3. a polite and respectful approach

4. a cheerful and laid-back approach, when you meet with limited success

What I would DISAGREE with is that ‘it’s a numbers game’. I would recommend that you read profiles very carefully and only mail those people for whom you are a perfect match. Then, take the trouble to craft an individual message tailored specifically for them, outlining why you think the attraction might be mutual. I find it very off-putting to read a message which has obviously been ‘copy and pasted’ to many women - if a guy can’t be bothered to explain why he has picked me to mail, then I’m afraid I won’t give him the time of day.

As others have said, joining a club is a good way to meet people who will verify you, even if you don’t get to play. There are clubs in Glasgow and Edinburgh, which both admit single guys. You should also remember that there are a considerable number of swingers clubs across the country (I know of at least four within an hour’s drive from where I live, all of whom admit single guys) - most swingers will therefore have the opportunity to meet and ‘vet’ many single guys, in a safe and non-pressured face-to-face situation. Therefore, if you decide to use this site to approach a couple/lady who are club members, you need to tailor your approach to explain why you think you can offer something that their club can’t offer.

And, in view of the large number of messages that couples/ladies receive from single guys, an offer of an early face pic is very important.

Good luck!

Liz

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By *dluv2 OP Man
over a year ago

glasgow

Thanks for the info i can safely tick all the boxes 1 to 4 i wouldn't approach this any other way.

One thing i always do is read a profile and never send the same message to different people i always like to think before i speak.

Will need to look into the local clubs though.

thanks xx

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"Thanks for the info i can safely tick all the boxes 1 to 4 i wouldn't approach this any other way.

One thing i always do is read a profile and never send the same message to different people i always like to think before i speak.

Will need to look into the local clubs though.

thanks xx"

You have to accept the fact that you are not going to appeal to everyone.

Take the percentage of peeps on here looking for single males.

Then take the percentage of that who live within travelling distance.

Then take the percentage of that who will be attracted enough to you to want to consider a meet.

Then take the percentage of that where both the male and female of the couple agree to possibly meet you.

Take the percentage of that who aren't just up for a 'cam'shag.

Your percentage of this site who will actually be looking for you is probably about 0.005%

ie.... we look for single males. You are way toooooo far to meet. You don't appeal to Mrs because she hates large tatoo's.....

So.... now you see why it's so hard to actually get started?

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