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"No idea what those terms even mean in swinging context. First time weve heard either." I'm so glad you said that as I have no idea if I'm offended or not as I dont know what they mean !!!! Please enlighten me. | |||
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"No idea what those terms even mean in swinging context. First time weve heard either. I'm so glad you said that as I have no idea if I'm offended or not as I dont know what they mean !!!! Please enlighten me. " No idea here either lol | |||
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"Both are terms for women who are mostly into BBC" Ah ok, thanks for the explanation! | |||
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"Both are terms for women who are mostly into BBC" I'm partial to both.. I mean there are some splendid dramas on ITV also. | |||
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"I got called a snow bunny earlier I don’t even know what it means or the other one " Snowbunny means a white woman in black slang and QOS (Queen of Spades) means a white woman who loves black guys. I am an expert. | |||
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"I got called a snow bunny earlier I don’t even know what it means or the other one Snowbunny means a white woman in black slang and QOS (Queen of Spades) means a white woman who loves black guys. I am an expert. " You are thank you | |||
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"I got called a snow bunny earlier I don’t even know what it means or the other one Snowbunny means a white woman in black slang and QOS (Queen of Spades) means a white woman who loves black guys. I am an expert. You are thank you " Always happy to pass on titbits of wisdom! | |||
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"Everyday is a school day" Always happy to offer after school classes lol! | |||
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"In that case could I have some extra tuition please Miss " Detention seems on the cards! | |||
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"I (m) find it a bit two faced that some black guys are happy with this QOS term, as its about them being in control sexually, but if someone took the first 2 words out of the sentence and just called them the last word, then all hell would break loose" Agreed! You can't have it both ways but it's the woke way these days. | |||
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"I (m) find it a bit two faced that some black guys are happy with this QOS term, as its about them being in control sexually, but if someone took the first 2 words out of the sentence and just called them the last word, then all hell would break loose" I thought it meant the white woman was Queen over the black man Spade, hence she being superior.... | |||
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"I (m) find it a bit two faced that some black guys are happy with this QOS term, as its about them being in control sexually, but if someone took the first 2 words out of the sentence and just called them the last word, then all hell would break loose I thought it meant the white woman was Queen over the black man Spade, hence she being superior.... " I see it as she being submissive to black guys, but which ever way you view the superior, the term is still hypocritical | |||
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"I don’t find it offensive at all it’s about a specific kink some ppl are too sensitive " Indeed. These terms are used between consenting adults in relation to 'race play' BDSM fetish | |||
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"I'm definitely both. A QOS and a snow bunny. I am not offended in the least x" cool cool | |||
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"In this non realistic, fantasy based world of swinging it's an affirmative, NO!" Awesome | |||
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"Does a day go by when someone doesn't put up a version of this reactionary post?? I mean come on, we get it, some people are offended, some aren't. Isn't that just the way the world works??" Some people on the forums are honestly not here to meet great people for sex..... They are simply here to bring Facebook drama to the forums.... | |||
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"Does a day go by when someone doesn't put up a version of this reactionary post?? I mean come on, we get it, some people are offended, some aren't. Isn't that just the way the world works?? Some people on the forums are honestly not here to meet great people for sex..... They are simply here to bring Facebook drama to the forums...." I agree but I'd like to hear your views on the ops original question - or the views of any other black guys/girls. | |||
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"Anyone else find a black guy asking white women if they find a derogatory term for black people offensive a little bit surreal? Bottom line, it's not 1975, you wouldn't call a black person a spade in real life so don't refer to them as that when you're doing your little black cock fetish chat on here. It is rooted in oppression of a race of people. I know the term seems to have been normalised amongst middle aged swingers and a few guys on here taking advantage of the "fetish", but that does not make it acceptable for white people to use! In the same way, the N word is normalised in hip hop popular culture these days, doesn't mean any white person can or should use it!" I’m black and take no offense to the terms QOS or snowbunny | |||
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"Does a day go by when someone doesn't put up a version of this reactionary post?? I mean come on, we get it, some people are offended, some aren't. Isn't that just the way the world works?? Some people on the forums are honestly not here to meet great people for sex..... They are simply here to bring Facebook drama to the forums.... I agree but I'd like to hear your views on the ops original question - or the views of any other black guys/girls. " I take no offense to the term BBC, Snowbunny , and QOS. I believe people in the swinging community need to learn the defense between kink and reality.... Every time this subject comes up the same people jump up and down with the racism card... They want to ban the word BBC and QOS from the swinging lexicon... In reality these same people could choose to only swing with black people , and let all the racist white people fetishized the non offended black people.... But if these people stopped their crusade of ending black men being exploited for having a big cock... they really would have no purpose on a swinging site..... | |||
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"Does a day go by when someone doesn't put up a version of this reactionary post?? I mean come on, we get it, some people are offended, some aren't. Isn't that just the way the world works?? Some people on the forums are honestly not here to meet great people for sex..... They are simply here to bring Facebook drama to the forums.... I agree but I'd like to hear your views on the ops original question - or the views of any other black guys/girls. I take no offense to the term BBC, Snowbunny , and QOS. I believe people in the swinging community need to learn the defense between kink and reality.... Every time this subject comes up the same people jump up and down with the racism card... They want to ban the word BBC and QOS from the swinging lexicon... In reality these same people could choose to only swing with black people , and let all the racist white people fetishized the non offended black people.... But if these people stopped their crusade of ending black men being exploited for having a big cock... they really would have no purpose on a swinging site..... " You forgot to add "drops mic" | |||
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"Both are terms for women who are mostly into BBC I'm partial to both.. I mean there are some splendid dramas on ITV also. " Lol | |||
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"Does a day go by when someone doesn't put up a version of this reactionary post?? I mean come on, we get it, some people are offended, some aren't. Isn't that just the way the world works?? Some people on the forums are honestly not here to meet great people for sex..... They are simply here to bring Facebook drama to the forums.... I agree but I'd like to hear your views on the ops original question - or the views of any other black guys/girls. I take no offense to the term BBC, Snowbunny , and QOS. I believe people in the swinging community need to learn the defense between kink and reality.... Every time this subject comes up the same people jump up and down with the racism card... They want to ban the word BBC and QOS from the swinging lexicon... In reality these same people could choose to only swing with black people , and let all the racist white people fetishized the non offended black people.... But if these people stopped their crusade of ending black men being exploited for having a big cock... they really would have no purpose on a swinging site..... " You've quoted me there. I have no issues with this either way I was just curious to get black peoples views. I'm certainly on no crusade. Frankly I couldn't care what people choose to call themselves or who they choose to play with (obvious exceptions kids, animals) as long as all are willing and happy. Thanks for your opinions though, it's good to hear your views. | |||
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"Does a day go by when someone doesn't put up a version of this reactionary post?? I mean come on, we get it, some people are offended, some aren't. Isn't that just the way the world works?? Some people on the forums are honestly not here to meet great people for sex..... They are simply here to bring Facebook drama to the forums.... I agree but I'd like to hear your views on the ops original question - or the views of any other black guys/girls. I take no offense to the term BBC, Snowbunny , and QOS. I believe people in the swinging community need to learn the defense between kink and reality.... Every time this subject comes up the same people jump up and down with the racism card... They want to ban the word BBC and QOS from the swinging lexicon... In reality these same people could choose to only swing with black people , and let all the racist white people fetishized the non offended black people.... But if these people stopped their crusade of ending black men being exploited for having a big cock... they really would have no purpose on a swinging site..... You've quoted me there. I have no issues with this either way I was just curious to get black peoples views. I'm certainly on no crusade. Frankly I couldn't care what people choose to call themselves or who they choose to play with (obvious exceptions kids, animals) as long as all are willing and happy. Thanks for your opinions though, it's good to hear your views. " This wasn’t aimed at you at all.... I just quoted your post.... The people I’m writing about will be alone shortly to tell you about the evils of the term BBC and QOS..... | |||
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"Does a day go by when someone doesn't put up a version of this reactionary post?? I mean come on, we get it, some people are offended, some aren't. Isn't that just the way the world works?? Some people on the forums are honestly not here to meet great people for sex..... They are simply here to bring Facebook drama to the forums.... I agree but I'd like to hear your views on the ops original question - or the views of any other black guys/girls. I take no offense to the term BBC, Snowbunny , and QOS. I believe people in the swinging community need to learn the defense between kink and reality.... Every time this subject comes up the same people jump up and down with the racism card... They want to ban the word BBC and QOS from the swinging lexicon... In reality these same people could choose to only swing with black people , and let all the racist white people fetishized the non offended black people.... But if these people stopped their crusade of ending black men being exploited for having a big cock... they really would have no purpose on a swinging site..... You've quoted me there. I have no issues with this either way I was just curious to get black peoples views. I'm certainly on no crusade. Frankly I couldn't care what people choose to call themselves or who they choose to play with (obvious exceptions kids, animals) as long as all are willing and happy. Thanks for your opinions though, it's good to hear your views. This wasn’t aimed at you at all.... I just quoted your post.... The people I’m writing about will be alone shortly to tell you about the evils of the term BBC and QOS....." Sorry I misunderstood the context of your post. Yes the "Facebook brigade" will no doubt be along soon lol | |||
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"I wonder what the responce would be if us white women ( snow bunnies) were to use something that is slang us whites use to describe black men. Just a thought " It would be another long thread about racism and clogging up the forums...... | |||
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"I (m) find it a bit two faced that some black guys are happy with this QOS term, as its about them being in control sexually, but if someone took the first 2 words out of the sentence and just called them the last word, then all hell would break loose" That’s not two face. Contradictory maybe, but aren’t we all? All hell would break loose if someone called me a slut on the street, but I’ll let it in the bedroom. Also, I can’t see how all hell would break loose over the word “Spade”. Maybe someone wouldn’t be happy with it, who knows. | |||
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"Anyone else find a black guy asking white women if they find a derogatory term for black people offensive a little bit surreal? Bottom line, it's not 1975, you wouldn't call a black person a spade in real life so don't refer to them as that when you're doing your little black cock fetish chat on here. It is rooted in oppression of a race of people. I know the term seems to have been normalised amongst middle aged swingers and a few guys on here taking advantage of the "fetish", but that does not make it acceptable for white people to use! In the same way, the N word is normalised in hip hop popular culture these days, doesn't mean any white person can or should use it!" Sorry but I find it funny that a white person is telling other people what is offensive and what isn’t.... If a black man doesn’t mind the term, who are you or anyone to tell them it’s offensive? We can’t police how others in the bedroom refer to each other. If you don’t like it, don’t use it, but I don’t think it’s right to tell others what they can and can’t do. | |||
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"As I stated on a previous thread, this isn't about offence - it's about harm to black people because of a stereotype. Since we've got a couple of people here saying that it's "mostly white people" that find it offensive, I'd like you to consider that many black people that hang around in the swinging community are willing to accept (or at least tolerate) themselves being fetishised with the same racist stereotypes that negatively affect them in so much else in life - and that the swinging community is (compared to the wider population) disproportionately white. There are many black voices that speak about why "QoS" and "BBC", and the fetishisation of black men are harmful. Here's one: https://gal-dem.com/chocolate-city-care-fetishisation-black-men/ "To help me approach this without bias, I spoke to Jesse Bernard, a writer and campaigner who delivers workshops focusing on black British identity and black masculinity. I asked him about why black men seemed so unphased by their own dehumanisation by white women. He said, “Black men behave this way for many reasons but if it’s something we’re conscious of then it’s usually for reasons of validation, acceptance and perhaps denial of one’s own blackness. We can internalise a lot of the anti-blackness that we engage and more often than not, black men project that onto those closest to us, which, by proximity, happen to be black women. So one of the other reasons we allow it to happen is because we are also complicit in the act of misogynoir and our fetishisation usually comes at the expense of black women, rather than ourselves.” He added, “Because many of us still engage in hyper-masculine and patriarchal rituals that are often acted out in white male dominated spaces, we are often blind to the fetishisation that comes from both white men and women.”" This has a poignant ending, too: "The surrounding issues with Chocolate City also tie in to the sentiments echoed alongside the recent calls to re-open the Emmett Till case. On August 28 1955, a white woman named Carolyn Bryant accused 14-year-old Chicago teen, Emmett Till, of making sexually suggestive sounds towards her and touching her. He was then lead by gun point to be beaten, shot, mutilated and weighed down in the Tallahatchie River, allegedly by members of Bryant’s family. She recently admitted to Tim Tyson, author of The Blood of Emmett Till, that her accusations were a complete lie, and Till’s family have been pushing for justice to be served. This situation gives us the gateway we need to have a conversation about the nature in which black boys are treated as black men, masculinised and sexualised whilst white women take advantage of it for their own personal gain." So if you (quite ironically) aren't willing to consider my perspective due to my ethnicity, I would welcome you to listen to the wider chorus of black voices instead of just the ones that agree with you." I’d welcome those black voices if they were actually a part of this conversation on this forum and not elsewhere about other things. I wouldn’t dare speak on behalf of a gay person, or a trans person, or a disabled person or a white person on what is offensive to them. So I don’t think anyone should do that for anyone else, if anything that’s offensive in itself and it comes across as patronising and I get superiority complex vibes. | |||
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"I’d welcome those black voices if they were actually a part of this conversation on this forum and not elsewhere about other things. I wouldn’t dare speak on behalf of a gay person, or a trans person, or a disabled person or a white person on what is offensive to them. So I don’t think anyone should do that for anyone else, if anything that’s offensive in itself and it comes across as patronising and I get superiority complex vibes. " Those black voices wouldn't be on a Swingers website to voice their opinions, would they. It's self-selecting - and lots of people I speak to outside of the swinging community are put off by the fetishisation of race (and yes, since this is something I'm really interested in I do have these conversations). Again, it's not about offence - and it's not about speaking on behalf of black people. Most of my comment was literally quoting black people that have written about this. It's about acknowledging that fucking black men because they've been stereotyped as hypersexual, hypermasculine etc and killing black men because they're they're perceived as a disproportionate risk to white women are two sides of the same coin. We have both because of deeply harboured, racist beliefs about black people. | |||
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"I’d welcome those black voices if they were actually a part of this conversation on this forum and not elsewhere about other things. I wouldn’t dare speak on behalf of a gay person, or a trans person, or a disabled person or a white person on what is offensive to them. So I don’t think anyone should do that for anyone else, if anything that’s offensive in itself and it comes across as patronising and I get superiority complex vibes. Those black voices wouldn't be on a Swingers website to voice their opinions, would they. It's self-selecting - and lots of people I speak to outside of the swinging community are put off by the fetishisation of race (and yes, since this is something I'm really interested in I do have these conversations). Again, it's not about offence - and it's not about speaking on behalf of black people. Most of my comment was literally quoting black people that have written about this. It's about acknowledging that fucking black men because they've been stereotyped as hypersexual, hypermasculine etc and killing black men because they're they're perceived as a disproportionate risk to white women are two sides of the same coin. We have both because of deeply harboured, racist beliefs about black people." If they’re not within the topic discussed why include them? Surely it’s better to hear from actual people on this site rather than those in another country who have similar views to yourself. I think everything you’ve said is quite irrelevant to the topic at hand about QOS and SnowBunny being offensive to some, but these topics always lead to the same thing. Yes black men have and still are fetishised by some but how many times are people going to have the same conversation? It’s like constantly calling a racial preference racist, it gets boring, even black men if you scroll up are sick of the topic. I’m not a black man, but I’m a black woman and I am genuinely sick to death of reading paragraph after paragraph from social justice warriors who think they’re doing black people a favour by constantly talking about racism, fetishisation, colonisation and all the other very predictable topics on behalf of us. If the people involved are happy with the terms who are we to judge? | |||
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"If they’re not within the topic discussed why include them? Surely it’s better to hear from actual people on this site rather than those in another country who have similar views to yourself. I think everything you’ve said is quite irrelevant to the topic at hand about QOS and SnowBunny being offensive to some, but these topics always lead to the same thing. Yes black men have and still are fetishised by some but how many times are people going to have the same conversation? It’s like constantly calling a racial preference racist, it gets boring, even black men if you scroll up are sick of the topic. I’m not a black man, but I’m a black woman and I am genuinely sick to death of reading paragraph after paragraph from social justice warriors who think they’re doing black people a favour by constantly talking about racism, fetishisation, colonisation and all the other very predictable topics on behalf of us. If the people involved are happy with the terms who are we to judge? " You can hear from people on this site. You're the one trying to shut me down, not the other way around. I haven't said that your view isn't valid, nor have I claimed that my view is superior. I'm bringing context and sources for what I believe. What I'm saying is clearly not irrelevant - black men are disproportionately fetishised for the same reason they're disproportionately murdered - because they're seen as a hypersexualised, hypermasculine "other" by white people. This is what racism is, and I find racism offensive - so I find these terms offensive. | |||
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"If they’re not within the topic discussed why include them? Surely it’s better to hear from actual people on this site rather than those in another country who have similar views to yourself. I think everything you’ve said is quite irrelevant to the topic at hand about QOS and SnowBunny being offensive to some, but these topics always lead to the same thing. Yes black men have and still are fetishised by some but how many times are people going to have the same conversation? It’s like constantly calling a racial preference racist, it gets boring, even black men if you scroll up are sick of the topic. I’m not a black man, but I’m a black woman and I am genuinely sick to death of reading paragraph after paragraph from social justice warriors who think they’re doing black people a favour by constantly talking about racism, fetishisation, colonisation and all the other very predictable topics on behalf of us. If the people involved are happy with the terms who are we to judge? You can hear from people on this site. You're the one trying to shut me down, not the other way around. I haven't said that your view isn't valid, nor have I claimed that my view is superior. I'm bringing context and sources for what I believe. What I'm saying is clearly not irrelevant - black men are disproportionately fetishised for the same reason they're disproportionately murdered - because they're seen as a hypersexualised, hypermasculine "other" by white people. This is what racism is, and I find racism offensive - so I find these terms offensive." I’m not trying to shut you down. I didn’t say your view isn’t valid. You’re free to have a view, what you’re not free to do or anyone else is to be offended by something on behalf of others and speak for others, in this case, black men. I didn’t say you claimed your view was superior, I said that’s how it comes across, I get superior complex vibes when people are offended and speak on behalf of others. As I said, I wouldn’t do that for a gay person for example as it’s not my place. The latter part of your post, what does that have to do with this post? What does black men being murdered have to do with someone not liking the term QOS or SnowBunny? How is it relevant? Why do you find the term snowbunny offensive as a non black man? How is it offensive to you? Genuinely trying to understand... | |||
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"Does a day go by when someone doesn't put up a version of this reactionary post?? I mean come on, we get it, some people are offended, some aren't. Isn't that just the way the world works?? Some people on the forums are honestly not here to meet great people for sex..... They are simply here to bring Facebook drama to the forums.... I agree but I'd like to hear your views on the ops original question - or the views of any other black guys/girls. I take no offense to the term BBC, Snowbunny , and QOS. I believe people in the swinging community need to learn the defense between kink and reality.... Every time this subject comes up the same people jump up and down with the racism card... They want to ban the word BBC and QOS from the swinging lexicon... In reality these same people could choose to only swing with black people , and let all the racist white people fetishized the non offended black people.... But if these people stopped their crusade of ending black men being exploited for having a big cock... they really would have no purpose on a swinging site..... " Couldn’t agree more. I truly believe the people who speak on behalf of others and are offended on behalf of others keep racism and discrimination alive far more than anyone else. If people let people be on here who aren’t hurting anyone, there would be less issues. There are no “rules” when it comes to kink, the consenting adults involved make the rules, and it should be left at that. | |||
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"I’m not trying to shut you down. I didn’t say your view isn’t valid. You’re free to have a view, what you’re not free to do or anyone else is to be offended by something on behalf of others and speak for others, in this case, black men. I didn’t say you claimed your view was superior, I said that’s how it comes across, I get superior complex vibes when people are offended and speak on behalf of others. As I said, I wouldn’t do that for a gay person for example as it’s not my place. The latter part of your post, what does that have to do with this post? What does black men being murdered have to do with someone not liking the term QOS or SnowBunny? How is it relevant? Why do you find the term snowbunny offensive as a non black man? How is it offensive to you? Genuinely trying to understand..." I'm not offended "on behalf of black men", which I think is the main thrust of your concern. I'm offended because I think racism is harmful and bad, and I don't want to live in a society where racism is accepted and perpetuated. I'm offended as me, a person, not on behalf of black people. And yes, I believe in social justice - if you don't believe in social justice then it would make sense that you would find a distaste for us "social justice warriors". QoS/Snowbunny/etc are all part of a wider fetishisation of black men. It's not simply a preference for a skin colour - white women/couples talk about black men as hypersexualised beings - larger penises, more "virile", more aggressive, etc. These are of course untrue (and harmful to any black man that doesn't conform to the stereotype) but are also rooted in the colonial idea of a black man as being "savages" that are "inferior" to white men that can "control their sexual urges". We've created environments where white women can enjoy the fantasy of sleeping with these "dangerous" people - but it's clear that this same stereotype is why black men are disproportionately likely to be the victim of miscarriages of justice (as well as vigilante justice), likely to be dealt with more brutally by police etc. White women have taken advantage of this countless times now (I would be happy to list sources but I feel like this is common knowledge). It is, of course, entirely understandable that some black men not only conform to but promote the stereotype (and as I said earlier, I don't blame a black man for taking advantage when racist stereotypes of them play in their favour) - though, for some this is actually just conforming as the price of entry (if most of the women interested in fucking black men also perpetuate this stereotype of them, your choice is either to suck it up or not get laid). But the reality is that the "harmless" perpetuation of the colonial idea of the black man in the bedroom is clearly and inextricably linked to the harmful perpetuation of the black man in the street, in the bar, or in the office. Again, people aren't fetishising black men simply for their skin colour. | |||
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" I'm not offended "on behalf of black men", which I think is the main thrust of your concern. I'm offended because I think racism is harmful and bad, and I don't want to live in a society where racism is accepted and perpetuated. I'm offended as me, a person, not on behalf of black people. And yes, I believe in social justice - if you don't believe in social justice then it would make sense that you would find a distaste for us "social justice warriors". QoS/Snowbunny/etc are all part of a wider fetishisation of black men. It's not simply a preference for a skin colour - white women/couples talk about black men as hypersexualised beings - larger penises, more "virile", more aggressive, etc. These are of course untrue (and harmful to any black man that doesn't conform to the stereotype) but are also rooted in the colonial idea of a black man as being "savages" that are "inferior" to white men that can "control their sexual urges". We've created environments where white women can enjoy the fantasy of sleeping with these "dangerous" people - but it's clear that this same stereotype is why black men are disproportionately likely to be the victim of miscarriages of justice (as well as vigilante justice), likely to be dealt with more brutally by police etc. White women have taken advantage of this countless times now (I would be happy to list sources but I feel like this is common knowledge). It is, of course, entirely understandable that some black men not only conform to but promote the stereotype (and as I said earlier, I don't blame a black man for taking advantage when racist stereotypes of them play in their favour) - though, for some this is actually just conforming as the price of entry (if most of the women interested in fucking black men also perpetuate this stereotype of them, your choice is either to suck it up or not get laid). But the reality is that the "harmless" perpetuation of the colonial idea of the black man in the bedroom is clearly and inextricably linked to the harmful perpetuation of the black man in the street, in the bar, or in the office. Again, people aren't fetishising black men simply for their skin colour." So you think the terms QOS & SnowBunny are racist? If so, how? In the sense that many use it in a non offensive manner with men who are absolutely okay with the term(s). Also, how do you know black men don’t enjoy or don’t mind the terms? Many do, they’re on the forum and they’ll tell you. Or do you believe as you say they’re “conforming” and don’t actually like it? I’ll be honest, I think you’re desperately trying to come across as “reasonable” and “non racist” with your comments on this thread when it’s actually not needed. I’ve seen it many times, and I always find those who reach like this end up being the most problematic. I mean it’s a harmless thread by a black man asking if two terms are offensive, it has nothing to do with white women seeing black men as “dangerous” or colonialism. I am shocked that anyone would generalise like this. I’d love to hear from actual black men on how they view the terms... | |||
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"So you think the terms QOS & SnowBunny are racist? If so, how? In the sense that many use it in a non offensive manner with men who are absolutely okay with the term(s). Also, how do you know black men don’t enjoy or don’t mind the terms? Many do, they’re on the forum and they’ll tell you. Or do you believe as you say they’re “conforming” and don’t actually like it? I’ll be honest, I think you’re desperately trying to come across as “reasonable” and “non racist” with your comments on this thread when it’s actually not needed. I’ve seen it many times, and I always find those who reach like this end up being the most problematic. I mean it’s a harmless thread by a black man asking if two terms are offensive, it has nothing to do with white women seeing black men as “dangerous” or colonialism. I am shocked that anyone would generalise like this. I’d love to hear from actual black men on how they view the terms..." Why would it be a bad thing to be reasonable and not racist? Since you dismiss the views of black men that I've based my views on, I think you only want to hear from black men that agree with you | |||
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"So you think the terms QOS & SnowBunny are racist? If so, how? In the sense that many use it in a non offensive manner with men who are absolutely okay with the term(s). Also, how do you know black men don’t enjoy or don’t mind the terms? Many do, they’re on the forum and they’ll tell you. Or do you believe as you say they’re “conforming” and don’t actually like it? I’ll be honest, I think you’re desperately trying to come across as “reasonable” and “non racist” with your comments on this thread when it’s actually not needed. I’ve seen it many times, and I always find those who reach like this end up being the most problematic. I mean it’s a harmless thread by a black man asking if two terms are offensive, it has nothing to do with white women seeing black men as “dangerous” or colonialism. I am shocked that anyone would generalise like this. I’d love to hear from actual black men on how they view the terms... Why would it be a bad thing to be reasonable and not racist? Since you dismiss the views of black men that I've based my views on, I think you only want to hear from black men that agree with you " It’s not about being “not racist” it’s how you go about it. Most decent people are anti racist, they don’t need to say so, nor do they need to protest too much. And I feel that’s what you’ve done here. I actually would love to hear from black men who don’t agree with me, or don’t like the term, simply because I love to hear differing views and their reasons behind them. Also because this thread is actually about those who the term refers to, which would be black men/white women. So I’d love them to come forward, some have, but the vast majority don’t mind the term one bit. I’m hoping a black man who doesn’t like the term does post in detail. | |||
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"It’s not about being “not racist” it’s how you go about it. Most decent people are anti racist, they don’t need to say so, nor do they need to protest too much. And I feel that’s what you’ve done here. I actually would love to hear from black men who don’t agree with me, or don’t like the term, simply because I love to hear differing views and their reasons behind them. Also because this thread is actually about those who the term refers to, which would be black men/white women. So I’d love them to come forward, some have, but the vast majority don’t mind the term one bit. I’m hoping a black man who doesn’t like the term does post in detail. " I would welcome them too, but you are dismissing my argument because of my ethnicity instead of engaging with it as an equal. | |||
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"It’s not about being “not racist” it’s how you go about it. Most decent people are anti racist, they don’t need to say so, nor do they need to protest too much. And I feel that’s what you’ve done here. I actually would love to hear from black men who don’t agree with me, or don’t like the term, simply because I love to hear differing views and their reasons behind them. Also because this thread is actually about those who the term refers to, which would be black men/white women. So I’d love them to come forward, some have, but the vast majority don’t mind the term one bit. I’m hoping a black man who doesn’t like the term does post in detail. I would welcome them too, but you are dismissing my argument because of my ethnicity instead of engaging with it as an equal." Equally as I’d expect a gay person to dismiss my argument about homophobia because I’m straight and can’t possibly speak for gay people, or a trans person to dismiss my argument about transphobia because I’m cisgender. An opinion, that’s cool. And I don’t mean dismiss in a negative context, I just don’t think you as a white male can’t speak on this as a black male can or a white woman who likes black men. I absolutely respect your opinion as I would anyone else, but I’d personally like to hear from those who the term refers to. That’s just me. | |||
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"Equally as I’d expect a gay person to dismiss my argument about homophobia because I’m straight and can’t possibly speak for gay people, or a trans person to dismiss my argument about transphobia because I’m cisgender. An opinion, that’s cool. And I don’t mean dismiss in a negative context, I just don’t think you as a white male can’t speak on this as a black male can or a white woman who likes black men. I absolutely respect your opinion as I would anyone else, but I’d personally like to hear from those who the term refers to. That’s just me. " But again, we circle back to: this isn't about speaking "on behalf of" anyone. It would be a ridiculous argument to say that only people affected by racism can argue against it (and actually, one regularly made by racists to silence anti-racism efforts). What I have done is bring in voices and perspectives from outside of the swinging community, and explained why - through self-selection - those voices and perspectives wouldn't be reflected within it. These are my arguments, INFORMED by other people but not on behalf of them. Your argument is that this should be dismissed because I'm a white man. But these voices and perspectives are from black people, and the arguments I make are logical and based in facts. You also miss the perspective I have, as a white man, on how black people are seen within many white communities. You posit that most people are anti-racist, but it's clear to me that this is a naive position to take - even if you just stick to these forums, it's clear that a lot of people are passively racist and a loud minority are actively racist (an unfortunate mirroring of wider society). Consider the popular narrative even during this pandemic, of how the cities are suffering from high rates of COVID-19 "because of the black people" - a popular meme amongst white communities especially outside of the big cities. But okay, let's try an experiment: pretend a black man also made those arguments, and then engage them on their merits instead of the skin colour of the person that made them. | |||
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"Equally as I’d expect a gay person to dismiss my argument about homophobia because I’m straight and can’t possibly speak for gay people, or a trans person to dismiss my argument about transphobia because I’m cisgender. An opinion, that’s cool. And I don’t mean dismiss in a negative context, I just don’t think you as a white male can’t speak on this as a black male can or a white woman who likes black men. I absolutely respect your opinion as I would anyone else, but I’d personally like to hear from those who the term refers to. That’s just me. But again, we circle back to: this isn't about speaking "on behalf of" anyone. It would be a ridiculous argument to say that only people affected by racism can argue against it (and actually, one regularly made by racists to silence anti-racism efforts). What I have done is bring in voices and perspectives from outside of the swinging community, and explained why - through self-selection - those voices and perspectives wouldn't be reflected within it. These are my arguments, INFORMED by other people but not on behalf of them. Your argument is that this should be dismissed because I'm a white man. But these voices and perspectives are from black people, and the arguments I make are logical and based in facts. You also miss the perspective I have, as a white man, on how black people are seen within many white communities. You posit that most people are anti-racist, but it's clear to me that this is a naive position to take - even if you just stick to these forums, it's clear that a lot of people are passively racist and a loud minority are actively racist (an unfortunate mirroring of wider society). Consider the popular narrative even during this pandemic, of how the cities are suffering from high rates of COVID-19 "because of the black people" - a popular meme amongst white communities especially outside of the big cities. But okay, let's try an experiment: pretend a black man also made those arguments, and then engage them on their merits instead of the skin colour of the person that made them." I’m a black man that meets with 2 non white couples... One is a black couple, the other couple is a black male and Hispanic female.... Both wives just like playing with me because I’m bigger and thick than their husbands.... Now with your logic I should be offended because these couples only want me because I’m black with a big cock and by meeting me they are fetishizing me..,.. | |||
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"I’m a black man that meets with 2 non white couples... One is a black couple, the other couple is a black male and Hispanic female.... Both wives just like playing with me because I’m bigger and thick than their husbands.... Now with your logic I should be offended because these couples only want me because I’m black with a big cock and by meeting me they are fetishizing me..,.." I mean, I'm not telling you that you should be offended at all - I specifically addressed that earlier. But by your description they're not fetishising you based on your ethnicity. You may or may not enjoy being fetishised for having a bigger dick (and you clearly do, and that's fine) but that fetish isn't rooted in racist ideas black people are also oppressed using. People consenting to themselves being fetishised isn't really harmful IMO. My point is that specifically fetishising black men as hypersexualised is rooted in racism. Saying that YOU have a big dick and are aggressive etc is one thing, but believing that all black men (or all "real" black men) have a big dick, are aggressive etc is racist - and also harms black men, as we see regularly in the news. | |||
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"Equally as I’d expect a gay person to dismiss my argument about homophobia because I’m straight and can’t possibly speak for gay people, or a trans person to dismiss my argument about transphobia because I’m cisgender. An opinion, that’s cool. And I don’t mean dismiss in a negative context, I just don’t think you as a white male can’t speak on this as a black male can or a white woman who likes black men. I absolutely respect your opinion as I would anyone else, but I’d personally like to hear from those who the term refers to. That’s just me. But again, we circle back to: this isn't about speaking "on behalf of" anyone. It would be a ridiculous argument to say that only people affected by racism can argue against it (and actually, one regularly made by racists to silence anti-racism efforts). What I have done is bring in voices and perspectives from outside of the swinging community, and explained why - through self-selection - those voices and perspectives wouldn't be reflected within it. These are my arguments, INFORMED by other people but not on behalf of them. Your argument is that this should be dismissed because I'm a white man. But these voices and perspectives are from black people, and the arguments I make are logical and based in facts. You also miss the perspective I have, as a white man, on how black people are seen within many white communities. You posit that most people are anti-racist, but it's clear to me that this is a naive position to take - even if you just stick to these forums, it's clear that a lot of people are passively racist and a loud minority are actively racist (an unfortunate mirroring of wider society). Consider the popular narrative even during this pandemic, of how the cities are suffering from high rates of COVID-19 "because of the black people" - a popular meme amongst white communities especially outside of the big cities. But okay, let's try an experiment: pretend a black man also made those arguments, and then engage them on their merits instead of the skin colour of the person that made them." Again, as I said, it’s okay having an opinion and being against racism for example. But this isn’t it, this is two terms used by white women/black men that you’re arguing against, it doesn’t directly affect you, hence why I don’t think you’re in a position to speak on it. By all means state your views. But in my eyes your view is just your view and isn’t one I would take into consideration in regards to the terms QOS & SnowBunny. I don’t believe this is the relevant topic to have the debate you’re trying to have, why not start your own thread in regards to the issues in white communities that you feel need addressing? Surely if what you say is actually the case it deserves its own thread and not to be buried in someone else’s about sexual terms to describe white women who like black men. | |||
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" but believing that all black men (or all "real" black men) have a big dick, are aggressive etc is racist - and also harms black men, as we see regularly in the news." Who is believing that on this thread? | |||
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" but believing that all black men (or all "real" black men) have a big dick, are aggressive etc is racist - and also harms black men, as we see regularly in the news. Who is believing that on this thread? " Why do you think people put QoS tattoos on themselves, and fetishise black men? Were you under the misapprehension that the whole kink is based around skin colour? You want to separate things that are inseparable. I understand your view but I think it's very naive - and I find it fascinating that you keep engaging with my points if you're convinced that my view should be dismissed. | |||
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"Both are terms for women who are mostly into BBC I'm partial to both.. I mean there are some splendid dramas on ITV also. " That hasn’t been said before | |||
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" but believing that all black men (or all "real" black men) have a big dick, are aggressive etc is racist - and also harms black men, as we see regularly in the news. Who is believing that on this thread? Why do you think people put QoS tattoos on themselves, and fetishise black men? Were you under the misapprehension that the whole kink is based around skin colour? You want to separate things that are inseparable. I understand your view but I think it's very naive - and I find it fascinating that you keep engaging with my points if you're convinced that my view should be dismissed." What’s fascinating about wanting to engage with those who you may disagree with? It’s how people grow and gain knowledge on thing they probably wouldn’t have before, it also leads to an open mind. I’m genuinely interested in others views regardless of whether I agree or not, but I understand you’re not interested in engaging so I’ll leave you to it. | |||
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"I used to really get my arse in a knot about all the racially derived sexually spun terms on here and in porn. Between people vehemently defending such terms and people vehemently opposing such terms and the few in the middle who dont know or dont care, I’ve taken the stance of each to their own. If a white lady is fully aware of what the terms QoS and Snowbunny means and wants to revel in it then kudos to her. If a black man want to revel in the bbc title then more power to him. As for me, I can only mind my own business, so if you come to me, with all the racial fetishisation masquerading as preference, I will be encouraging you to take a long walk off a short pier. Thats just me...each to their own as I said. " I like this response! | |||
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"What’s fascinating about wanting to engage with those who you may disagree with? It’s how people grow and gain knowledge on thing they probably wouldn’t have before, it also leads to an open mind. I’m genuinely interested in others views regardless of whether I agree or not, but I understand you’re not interested in engaging so I’ll leave you to it. " You're specifically engaging to dismiss my arguments based on my ethnicity, instead of engaging with the arguments I'm making. I truly do think we can grow and gain knowledge by engaging with people we disagree with. If you short-circuit it like you are then you're just attempting to win on a technicality. | |||
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"Do you find the term or terms show bunnies or queen of spades offensive?" Get called all kinds of names not really bothered. I like what I like. My choice | |||
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"No I don't find the terms offensive,I am in the interracial swinging scene,so the terms are used by some and not others,I am known in the scene as a bbw,something I don't find offensive either,however some do I do have qos temporary tattoo's I've worn them for men on meets,who like them, my profile is showing pics wearing the tatoo's,when I'm meeting,so usually they ask if like them,otherwise I don't mention it" Our exact approach. | |||
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"I wonder what the responce would be if us white women ( snow bunnies) were to use something that is slang us whites use to describe black men. Just a thought " Many do by using BBC which offends some but others love it. It is their prerogative of course but they don’t need other people to tell them what they should and shouldn’t be offended by. Live and let live I say. | |||
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"Do you find the term or terms show bunnies or queen of spades offensive?" I googled show bunnies and they are such cute little creatures, I would love at attend their show. Hate these dissing labels. Tasmin | |||
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"Both are terms for women who are mostly into BBC I'm partial to both.. I mean there are some splendid dramas on ITV also. " . ?????????????????????? | |||
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