FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swingers Chat

Do you find the term snowbunny or qos offensive?

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Do you find the term or terms show bunnies or queen of spades offensive?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

no

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes ... full stop ... i dont want to be called them by anyone or use any qos stuff if someone wants to play with me i hope its because they want to not because of a tag but thats my opinion same with the bbc and bull terms ...as im part of a cuckold couple some find that strange but i pick a guy to play with because hes hot and confident and fits what im looking for.. not because of a pointless tag ... love all guys color and race, religion make no difference to me just attraction

what others do is for them...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington

No idea what those terms even mean in swinging context. First time weve heard either.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ED00Woman
over a year ago

South Devon... Torbaydos


"No idea what those terms even mean in swinging context. First time weve heard either."

I'm so glad you said that as I have no idea if I'm offended or not as I dont know what they mean !!!! Please enlighten me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington

I’ve noticed some lady’s have the queen of spades tattoo is that offensive? I’m not sure I suppose if you’d find it offensive you’d probably skip them past

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *intage74Couple
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

I agree with above comment and would appreciate being educated on these terms

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *orkspoonMan
over a year ago

nearby

Personally I feel uncomfortable with it, but each to their own

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No idea what those terms even mean in swinging context. First time weve heard either.

I'm so glad you said that as I have no idea if I'm offended or not as I dont know what they mean !!!! Please enlighten me. "

No idea here either lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *orkspoonMan
over a year ago

nearby

Both are terms for women who are mostly into BBC

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rotic-TouchTV/TS
over a year ago

doncaster

No I don't find those terms offensive tho plenty will on here

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Both are terms for women who are mostly into BBC"

Ah ok, thanks for the explanation!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ED00Woman
over a year ago

South Devon... Torbaydos


"Both are terms for women who are mostly into BBC"

I'm partial to both.. I mean there are some splendid dramas on ITV also.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ldhillhotwifeCouple
over a year ago

Old Hill

No... And I think you mean snow bunnies?

Sx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No....I'm both!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *otfabcouple2017Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

No

People can use whatever terms they want as far as I'm concerned in the sexual context

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

I got called a snow bunny earlier I don’t even know what it means or the other one

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I got called a snow bunny earlier I don’t even know what it means or the other one "
Snowbunny means a white woman in black slang and QOS (Queen of Spades) means a white woman who loves black guys. I am an expert.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas


"I got called a snow bunny earlier I don’t even know what it means or the other one Snowbunny means a white woman in black slang and QOS (Queen of Spades) means a white woman who loves black guys. I am an expert. "

You are thank you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I got called a snow bunny earlier I don’t even know what it means or the other one Snowbunny means a white woman in black slang and QOS (Queen of Spades) means a white woman who loves black guys. I am an expert.

You are thank you "
Always happy to pass on titbits of wisdom!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ilk_TrayMan
over a year ago

Dunstable

Everyday is a school day

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Everyday is a school day"
Always happy to offer after school classes lol!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ilk_TrayMan
over a year ago

Dunstable

In that case could I have some extra tuition please Miss

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I (m) find it a bit two faced that some black guys are happy with this QOS term, as its about them being in control sexually, but if someone took the first 2 words out of the sentence and just called them the last word, then all hell would break loose

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In that case could I have some extra tuition please Miss "
Detention seems on the cards!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I (m) find it a bit two faced that some black guys are happy with this QOS term, as its about them being in control sexually, but if someone took the first 2 words out of the sentence and just called them the last word, then all hell would break loose"
Agreed! You can't have it both ways but it's the woke way these days.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I (m) find it a bit two faced that some black guys are happy with this QOS term, as its about them being in control sexually, but if someone took the first 2 words out of the sentence and just called them the last word, then all hell would break loose"

I thought it meant the white woman was Queen over the black man Spade, hence she being superior....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I (m) find it a bit two faced that some black guys are happy with this QOS term, as its about them being in control sexually, but if someone took the first 2 words out of the sentence and just called them the last word, then all hell would break loose

I thought it meant the white woman was Queen over the black man Spade, hence she being superior....

"

I see it as she being submissive to black guys, but which ever way you view the superior, the term is still hypocritical

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes horrifically racist both of them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t find it offensive at all it’s about a specific kink some ppl are too sensitive

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

In this non realistic, fantasy based world of swinging it's an affirmative, NO!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *atexbisexTV/TS
over a year ago

Central London


"I don’t find it offensive at all it’s about a specific kink some ppl are too sensitive "

Indeed. These terms are used between consenting adults in relation to 'race play' BDSM fetish

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aughtycp1Couple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

I'm definitely both. A QOS and a snow bunny. I am not offended in the least x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm definitely both. A QOS and a snow bunny. I am not offended in the least x"
cool cool

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"In this non realistic, fantasy based world of swinging it's an affirmative, NO!"

Awesome

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *jr41Couple
over a year ago

Wiltshire

Does a day go by when someone doesn't put up a version of this reactionary post?? I mean come on, we get it, some people are offended, some aren't. Isn't that just the way the world works??

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Does a day go by when someone doesn't put up a version of this reactionary post?? I mean come on, we get it, some people are offended, some aren't. Isn't that just the way the world works??"

Some people on the forums are honestly not here to meet great people for sex.....

They are simply here to bring Facebook drama to the forums....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It perpetuates racist stereotypes. It's definitely racist.

I don't really blame black men that take advantage of a racist stereotype that, in this instance, is in their favour. But it's not about offence - you can't extricate the fetishisation of black men by white women from them getting black men arrested, shot and/or killed for alleged aggression based on the same stereotype.

The reality is that it's racist, and it's harmful, and we should stop it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *evil with the haloWoman
over a year ago

Crystal Peaks

It depends on the context but thats the same with the "N" word both are when used in relationship to someone other then themselves is racist and used by people with racist tendencies.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *essiejamesABCCouple
over a year ago

Salisbury


"Does a day go by when someone doesn't put up a version of this reactionary post?? I mean come on, we get it, some people are offended, some aren't. Isn't that just the way the world works??

Some people on the forums are honestly not here to meet great people for sex.....

They are simply here to bring Facebook drama to the forums...."

I agree but I'd like to hear your views on the ops original question - or the views of any other black guys/girls.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not offended in the slightest. Each to their own but I’m pretty laid back so not much offends me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not offensive at all, every example I’ve seen of those words were used by the person themselves

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oneko SanMan
over a year ago

derby

Ha-Ha I'd not heard snowbunny used like this before! To me being a snow boarder snow bunnies are the girls who turn up at the mountain cafes and sunbathe on the loungers trying to pull rich skiers and snowboarders when they come in for lunch in the big resorts!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *erkswankerMan
over a year ago

Berkshire

Anyone else find a black guy asking white women if they find a derogatory term for black people offensive a little bit surreal?

Bottom line, it's not 1975, you wouldn't call a black person a spade in real life so don't refer to them as that when you're doing your little black cock fetish chat on here. It is rooted in oppression of a race of people. I know the term seems to have been normalised amongst middle aged swingers and a few guys on here taking advantage of the "fetish", but that does not make it acceptable for white people to use! In the same way, the N word is normalised in hip hop popular culture these days, doesn't mean any white person can or should use it!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Anyone else find a black guy asking white women if they find a derogatory term for black people offensive a little bit surreal?

Bottom line, it's not 1975, you wouldn't call a black person a spade in real life so don't refer to them as that when you're doing your little black cock fetish chat on here. It is rooted in oppression of a race of people. I know the term seems to have been normalised amongst middle aged swingers and a few guys on here taking advantage of the "fetish", but that does not make it acceptable for white people to use! In the same way, the N word is normalised in hip hop popular culture these days, doesn't mean any white person can or should use it!"

I’m black and take no offense to the terms QOS or snowbunny

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Does a day go by when someone doesn't put up a version of this reactionary post?? I mean come on, we get it, some people are offended, some aren't. Isn't that just the way the world works??

Some people on the forums are honestly not here to meet great people for sex.....

They are simply here to bring Facebook drama to the forums....

I agree but I'd like to hear your views on the ops original question - or the views of any other black guys/girls. "

I take no offense to the term BBC, Snowbunny , and QOS. I believe people in the swinging community need to learn the defense between kink and reality....

Every time this subject comes up the same people jump up and down with the racism card... They want to ban the word BBC and QOS from the swinging lexicon...

In reality these same people could choose to only swing with black people , and let all the racist white people fetishized the non offended black people....

But if these people stopped their crusade of ending black men being exploited for having a big cock... they really would have no purpose on a swinging site.....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Does a day go by when someone doesn't put up a version of this reactionary post?? I mean come on, we get it, some people are offended, some aren't. Isn't that just the way the world works??

Some people on the forums are honestly not here to meet great people for sex.....

They are simply here to bring Facebook drama to the forums....

I agree but I'd like to hear your views on the ops original question - or the views of any other black guys/girls.

I take no offense to the term BBC, Snowbunny , and QOS. I believe people in the swinging community need to learn the defense between kink and reality....

Every time this subject comes up the same people jump up and down with the racism card... They want to ban the word BBC and QOS from the swinging lexicon...

In reality these same people could choose to only swing with black people , and let all the racist white people fetishized the non offended black people....

But if these people stopped their crusade of ending black men being exploited for having a big cock... they really would have no purpose on a swinging site.....

"

You forgot to add "drops mic"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Both are terms for women who are mostly into BBC

I'm partial to both.. I mean there are some splendid dramas on ITV also. "

Lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *essiejamesABCCouple
over a year ago

Salisbury


"Does a day go by when someone doesn't put up a version of this reactionary post?? I mean come on, we get it, some people are offended, some aren't. Isn't that just the way the world works??

Some people on the forums are honestly not here to meet great people for sex.....

They are simply here to bring Facebook drama to the forums....

I agree but I'd like to hear your views on the ops original question - or the views of any other black guys/girls.

I take no offense to the term BBC, Snowbunny , and QOS. I believe people in the swinging community need to learn the defense between kink and reality....

Every time this subject comes up the same people jump up and down with the racism card... They want to ban the word BBC and QOS from the swinging lexicon...

In reality these same people could choose to only swing with black people , and let all the racist white people fetishized the non offended black people....

But if these people stopped their crusade of ending black men being exploited for having a big cock... they really would have no purpose on a swinging site.....

"

You've quoted me there. I have no issues with this either way I was just curious to get black peoples views. I'm certainly on no crusade. Frankly I couldn't care what people choose to call themselves or who they choose to play with (obvious exceptions kids, animals) as long as all are willing and happy. Thanks for your opinions though, it's good to hear your views.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Does a day go by when someone doesn't put up a version of this reactionary post?? I mean come on, we get it, some people are offended, some aren't. Isn't that just the way the world works??

Some people on the forums are honestly not here to meet great people for sex.....

They are simply here to bring Facebook drama to the forums....

I agree but I'd like to hear your views on the ops original question - or the views of any other black guys/girls.

I take no offense to the term BBC, Snowbunny , and QOS. I believe people in the swinging community need to learn the defense between kink and reality....

Every time this subject comes up the same people jump up and down with the racism card... They want to ban the word BBC and QOS from the swinging lexicon...

In reality these same people could choose to only swing with black people , and let all the racist white people fetishized the non offended black people....

But if these people stopped their crusade of ending black men being exploited for having a big cock... they really would have no purpose on a swinging site.....

You've quoted me there. I have no issues with this either way I was just curious to get black peoples views. I'm certainly on no crusade. Frankly I couldn't care what people choose to call themselves or who they choose to play with (obvious exceptions kids, animals) as long as all are willing and happy. Thanks for your opinions though, it's good to hear your views. "

This wasn’t aimed at you at all.... I just quoted your post.... The people I’m writing about will be alone shortly to tell you about the evils of the term BBC and QOS.....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ootprints1629Couple
over a year ago

somewhere in moray

I wonder what the responce would be if us white women ( snow bunnies) were to use something that is slang us whites use to describe black men. Just a thought

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *essiejamesABCCouple
over a year ago

Salisbury


"Does a day go by when someone doesn't put up a version of this reactionary post?? I mean come on, we get it, some people are offended, some aren't. Isn't that just the way the world works??

Some people on the forums are honestly not here to meet great people for sex.....

They are simply here to bring Facebook drama to the forums....

I agree but I'd like to hear your views on the ops original question - or the views of any other black guys/girls.

I take no offense to the term BBC, Snowbunny , and QOS. I believe people in the swinging community need to learn the defense between kink and reality....

Every time this subject comes up the same people jump up and down with the racism card... They want to ban the word BBC and QOS from the swinging lexicon...

In reality these same people could choose to only swing with black people , and let all the racist white people fetishized the non offended black people....

But if these people stopped their crusade of ending black men being exploited for having a big cock... they really would have no purpose on a swinging site.....

You've quoted me there. I have no issues with this either way I was just curious to get black peoples views. I'm certainly on no crusade. Frankly I couldn't care what people choose to call themselves or who they choose to play with (obvious exceptions kids, animals) as long as all are willing and happy. Thanks for your opinions though, it's good to hear your views.

This wasn’t aimed at you at all.... I just quoted your post.... The people I’m writing about will be alone shortly to tell you about the evils of the term BBC and QOS....."

Sorry I misunderstood the context of your post. Yes the "Facebook brigade" will no doubt be along soon lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not sure I think of them as offensive but at the same time I wouldent want to be labeled as such... I'm a woman it shouldnt matter that I'm white and that's shouldn't be a defining factor of somone being attracted to me just the same way race doesn't play a part in who I find attractive

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very racist in both terms

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wonder what the responce would be if us white women ( snow bunnies) were to use something that is slang us whites use to describe black men. Just a thought "

It would be another long thread about racism and clogging up the forums......

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *jr41Couple
over a year ago

Wiltshire

It also feels like the most prevalent arguments are made by white men who don't get called BWC!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well from the stuff I sell I would have to say that the queen of spades stuff is the most popular. So the people that are outraged are likely in the minority here.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As I stated on a previous thread, this isn't about offence - it's about harm to black people because of a stereotype. Since we've got a couple of people here saying that it's "mostly white people" that find it offensive, I'd like you to consider that many black people that hang around in the swinging community are willing to accept (or at least tolerate) themselves being fetishised with the same racist stereotypes that negatively affect them in so much else in life - and that the swinging community is (compared to the wider population) disproportionately white.

There are many black voices that speak about why "QoS" and "BBC", and the fetishisation of black men are harmful. Here's one:

https://gal-dem.com/chocolate-city-care-fetishisation-black-men/

"To help me approach this without bias, I spoke to Jesse Bernard, a writer and campaigner who delivers workshops focusing on black British identity and black masculinity. I asked him about why black men seemed so unphased by their own dehumanisation by white women.

He said, “Black men behave this way for many reasons but if it’s something we’re conscious of then it’s usually for reasons of validation, acceptance and perhaps denial of one’s own blackness. We can internalise a lot of the anti-blackness that we engage and more often than not, black men project that onto those closest to us, which, by proximity, happen to be black women. So one of the other reasons we allow it to happen is because we are also complicit in the act of misogynoir and our fetishisation usually comes at the expense of black women, rather than ourselves.”

He added, “Because many of us still engage in hyper-masculine and patriarchal rituals that are often acted out in white male dominated spaces, we are often blind to the fetishisation that comes from both white men and women.”"

This has a poignant ending, too:

"The surrounding issues with Chocolate City also tie in to the sentiments echoed alongside the recent calls to re-open the Emmett Till case. On August 28 1955, a white woman named Carolyn Bryant accused 14-year-old Chicago teen, Emmett Till, of making sexually suggestive sounds towards her and touching her.

He was then lead by gun point to be beaten, shot, mutilated and weighed down in the Tallahatchie River, allegedly by members of Bryant’s family. She recently admitted to Tim Tyson, author of The Blood of Emmett Till, that her accusations were a complete lie, and Till’s family have been pushing for justice to be served. This situation gives us the gateway we need to have a conversation about the nature in which black boys are treated as black men, masculinised and sexualised whilst white women take advantage of it for their own personal gain."

So if you (quite ironically) aren't willing to consider my perspective due to my ethnicity, I would welcome you to listen to the wider chorus of black voices instead of just the ones that agree with you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I (m) find it a bit two faced that some black guys are happy with this QOS term, as its about them being in control sexually, but if someone took the first 2 words out of the sentence and just called them the last word, then all hell would break loose"

That’s not two face. Contradictory maybe, but aren’t we all?

All hell would break loose if someone called me a slut on the street, but I’ll let it in the bedroom.

Also, I can’t see how all hell would break loose over the word “Spade”. Maybe someone wouldn’t be happy with it, who knows.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Anyone else find a black guy asking white women if they find a derogatory term for black people offensive a little bit surreal?

Bottom line, it's not 1975, you wouldn't call a black person a spade in real life so don't refer to them as that when you're doing your little black cock fetish chat on here. It is rooted in oppression of a race of people. I know the term seems to have been normalised amongst middle aged swingers and a few guys on here taking advantage of the "fetish", but that does not make it acceptable for white people to use! In the same way, the N word is normalised in hip hop popular culture these days, doesn't mean any white person can or should use it!"

Sorry but I find it funny that a white person is telling other people what is offensive and what isn’t....

If a black man doesn’t mind the term, who are you or anyone to tell them it’s offensive? We can’t police how others in the bedroom refer to each other. If you don’t like it, don’t use it, but I don’t think it’s right to tell others what they can and can’t do.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As I stated on a previous thread, this isn't about offence - it's about harm to black people because of a stereotype. Since we've got a couple of people here saying that it's "mostly white people" that find it offensive, I'd like you to consider that many black people that hang around in the swinging community are willing to accept (or at least tolerate) themselves being fetishised with the same racist stereotypes that negatively affect them in so much else in life - and that the swinging community is (compared to the wider population) disproportionately white.

There are many black voices that speak about why "QoS" and "BBC", and the fetishisation of black men are harmful. Here's one:

https://gal-dem.com/chocolate-city-care-fetishisation-black-men/

"To help me approach this without bias, I spoke to Jesse Bernard, a writer and campaigner who delivers workshops focusing on black British identity and black masculinity. I asked him about why black men seemed so unphased by their own dehumanisation by white women.

He said, “Black men behave this way for many reasons but if it’s something we’re conscious of then it’s usually for reasons of validation, acceptance and perhaps denial of one’s own blackness. We can internalise a lot of the anti-blackness that we engage and more often than not, black men project that onto those closest to us, which, by proximity, happen to be black women. So one of the other reasons we allow it to happen is because we are also complicit in the act of misogynoir and our fetishisation usually comes at the expense of black women, rather than ourselves.”

He added, “Because many of us still engage in hyper-masculine and patriarchal rituals that are often acted out in white male dominated spaces, we are often blind to the fetishisation that comes from both white men and women.”"

This has a poignant ending, too:

"The surrounding issues with Chocolate City also tie in to the sentiments echoed alongside the recent calls to re-open the Emmett Till case. On August 28 1955, a white woman named Carolyn Bryant accused 14-year-old Chicago teen, Emmett Till, of making sexually suggestive sounds towards her and touching her.

He was then lead by gun point to be beaten, shot, mutilated and weighed down in the Tallahatchie River, allegedly by members of Bryant’s family. She recently admitted to Tim Tyson, author of The Blood of Emmett Till, that her accusations were a complete lie, and Till’s family have been pushing for justice to be served. This situation gives us the gateway we need to have a conversation about the nature in which black boys are treated as black men, masculinised and sexualised whilst white women take advantage of it for their own personal gain."

So if you (quite ironically) aren't willing to consider my perspective due to my ethnicity, I would welcome you to listen to the wider chorus of black voices instead of just the ones that agree with you."

I’d welcome those black voices if they were actually a part of this conversation on this forum and not elsewhere about other things.

I wouldn’t dare speak on behalf of a gay person, or a trans person, or a disabled person or a white person on what is offensive to them.

So I don’t think anyone should do that for anyone else, if anything that’s offensive in itself and it comes across as patronising and I get superiority complex vibes.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’d welcome those black voices if they were actually a part of this conversation on this forum and not elsewhere about other things.

I wouldn’t dare speak on behalf of a gay person, or a trans person, or a disabled person or a white person on what is offensive to them.

So I don’t think anyone should do that for anyone else, if anything that’s offensive in itself and it comes across as patronising and I get superiority complex vibes. "

Those black voices wouldn't be on a Swingers website to voice their opinions, would they. It's self-selecting - and lots of people I speak to outside of the swinging community are put off by the fetishisation of race (and yes, since this is something I'm really interested in I do have these conversations).

Again, it's not about offence - and it's not about speaking on behalf of black people. Most of my comment was literally quoting black people that have written about this.

It's about acknowledging that fucking black men because they've been stereotyped as hypersexual, hypermasculine etc and killing black men because they're they're perceived as a disproportionate risk to white women are two sides of the same coin. We have both because of deeply harboured, racist beliefs about black people.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’d welcome those black voices if they were actually a part of this conversation on this forum and not elsewhere about other things.

I wouldn’t dare speak on behalf of a gay person, or a trans person, or a disabled person or a white person on what is offensive to them.

So I don’t think anyone should do that for anyone else, if anything that’s offensive in itself and it comes across as patronising and I get superiority complex vibes.

Those black voices wouldn't be on a Swingers website to voice their opinions, would they. It's self-selecting - and lots of people I speak to outside of the swinging community are put off by the fetishisation of race (and yes, since this is something I'm really interested in I do have these conversations).

Again, it's not about offence - and it's not about speaking on behalf of black people. Most of my comment was literally quoting black people that have written about this.

It's about acknowledging that fucking black men because they've been stereotyped as hypersexual, hypermasculine etc and killing black men because they're they're perceived as a disproportionate risk to white women are two sides of the same coin. We have both because of deeply harboured, racist beliefs about black people."

If they’re not within the topic discussed why include them? Surely it’s better to hear from actual people on this site rather than those in another country who have similar views to yourself.

I think everything you’ve said is quite irrelevant to the topic at hand about QOS and SnowBunny being offensive to some, but these topics always lead to the same thing.

Yes black men have and still are fetishised by some but how many times are people going to have the same conversation? It’s like constantly calling a racial preference racist, it gets boring, even black men if you scroll up are sick of the topic.

I’m not a black man, but I’m a black woman and I am genuinely sick to death of reading paragraph after paragraph from social justice warriors who think they’re doing black people a favour by constantly talking about racism, fetishisation, colonisation and all the other very predictable topics on behalf of us.

If the people involved are happy with the terms who are we to judge?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If they’re not within the topic discussed why include them? Surely it’s better to hear from actual people on this site rather than those in another country who have similar views to yourself.

I think everything you’ve said is quite irrelevant to the topic at hand about QOS and SnowBunny being offensive to some, but these topics always lead to the same thing.

Yes black men have and still are fetishised by some but how many times are people going to have the same conversation? It’s like constantly calling a racial preference racist, it gets boring, even black men if you scroll up are sick of the topic.

I’m not a black man, but I’m a black woman and I am genuinely sick to death of reading paragraph after paragraph from social justice warriors who think they’re doing black people a favour by constantly talking about racism, fetishisation, colonisation and all the other very predictable topics on behalf of us.

If the people involved are happy with the terms who are we to judge? "

You can hear from people on this site. You're the one trying to shut me down, not the other way around. I haven't said that your view isn't valid, nor have I claimed that my view is superior. I'm bringing context and sources for what I believe.

What I'm saying is clearly not irrelevant - black men are disproportionately fetishised for the same reason they're disproportionately murdered - because they're seen as a hypersexualised, hypermasculine "other" by white people. This is what racism is, and I find racism offensive - so I find these terms offensive.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If they’re not within the topic discussed why include them? Surely it’s better to hear from actual people on this site rather than those in another country who have similar views to yourself.

I think everything you’ve said is quite irrelevant to the topic at hand about QOS and SnowBunny being offensive to some, but these topics always lead to the same thing.

Yes black men have and still are fetishised by some but how many times are people going to have the same conversation? It’s like constantly calling a racial preference racist, it gets boring, even black men if you scroll up are sick of the topic.

I’m not a black man, but I’m a black woman and I am genuinely sick to death of reading paragraph after paragraph from social justice warriors who think they’re doing black people a favour by constantly talking about racism, fetishisation, colonisation and all the other very predictable topics on behalf of us.

If the people involved are happy with the terms who are we to judge?

You can hear from people on this site. You're the one trying to shut me down, not the other way around. I haven't said that your view isn't valid, nor have I claimed that my view is superior. I'm bringing context and sources for what I believe.

What I'm saying is clearly not irrelevant - black men are disproportionately fetishised for the same reason they're disproportionately murdered - because they're seen as a hypersexualised, hypermasculine "other" by white people. This is what racism is, and I find racism offensive - so I find these terms offensive."

I’m not trying to shut you down.

I didn’t say your view isn’t valid. You’re free to have a view, what you’re not free to do or anyone else is to be offended by something on behalf of others and speak for others, in this case, black men.

I didn’t say you claimed your view was superior, I said that’s how it comes across, I get superior complex vibes when people are offended and speak on behalf of others. As I said, I wouldn’t do that for a gay person for example as it’s not my place.

The latter part of your post, what does that have to do with this post? What does black men being murdered have to do with someone not liking the term QOS or SnowBunny? How is it relevant?

Why do you find the term snowbunny offensive as a non black man? How is it offensive to you? Genuinely trying to understand...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Does a day go by when someone doesn't put up a version of this reactionary post?? I mean come on, we get it, some people are offended, some aren't. Isn't that just the way the world works??

Some people on the forums are honestly not here to meet great people for sex.....

They are simply here to bring Facebook drama to the forums....

I agree but I'd like to hear your views on the ops original question - or the views of any other black guys/girls.

I take no offense to the term BBC, Snowbunny , and QOS. I believe people in the swinging community need to learn the defense between kink and reality....

Every time this subject comes up the same people jump up and down with the racism card... They want to ban the word BBC and QOS from the swinging lexicon...

In reality these same people could choose to only swing with black people , and let all the racist white people fetishized the non offended black people....

But if these people stopped their crusade of ending black men being exploited for having a big cock... they really would have no purpose on a swinging site.....

"

Couldn’t agree more.

I truly believe the people who speak on behalf of others and are offended on behalf of others keep racism and discrimination alive far more than anyone else.

If people let people be on here who aren’t hurting anyone, there would be less issues.

There are no “rules” when it comes to kink, the consenting adults involved make the rules, and it should be left at that.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m not trying to shut you down.

I didn’t say your view isn’t valid. You’re free to have a view, what you’re not free to do or anyone else is to be offended by something on behalf of others and speak for others, in this case, black men.

I didn’t say you claimed your view was superior, I said that’s how it comes across, I get superior complex vibes when people are offended and speak on behalf of others. As I said, I wouldn’t do that for a gay person for example as it’s not my place.

The latter part of your post, what does that have to do with this post? What does black men being murdered have to do with someone not liking the term QOS or SnowBunny? How is it relevant?

Why do you find the term snowbunny offensive as a non black man? How is it offensive to you? Genuinely trying to understand..."

I'm not offended "on behalf of black men", which I think is the main thrust of your concern. I'm offended because I think racism is harmful and bad, and I don't want to live in a society where racism is accepted and perpetuated. I'm offended as me, a person, not on behalf of black people. And yes, I believe in social justice - if you don't believe in social justice then it would make sense that you would find a distaste for us "social justice warriors".

QoS/Snowbunny/etc are all part of a wider fetishisation of black men. It's not simply a preference for a skin colour - white women/couples talk about black men as hypersexualised beings - larger penises, more "virile", more aggressive, etc. These are of course untrue (and harmful to any black man that doesn't conform to the stereotype) but are also rooted in the colonial idea of a black man as being "savages" that are "inferior" to white men that can "control their sexual urges".

We've created environments where white women can enjoy the fantasy of sleeping with these "dangerous" people - but it's clear that this same stereotype is why black men are disproportionately likely to be the victim of miscarriages of justice (as well as vigilante justice), likely to be dealt with more brutally by police etc. White women have taken advantage of this countless times now (I would be happy to list sources but I feel like this is common knowledge).

It is, of course, entirely understandable that some black men not only conform to but promote the stereotype (and as I said earlier, I don't blame a black man for taking advantage when racist stereotypes of them play in their favour) - though, for some this is actually just conforming as the price of entry (if most of the women interested in fucking black men also perpetuate this stereotype of them, your choice is either to suck it up or not get laid).

But the reality is that the "harmless" perpetuation of the colonial idea of the black man in the bedroom is clearly and inextricably linked to the harmful perpetuation of the black man in the street, in the bar, or in the office.

Again, people aren't fetishising black men simply for their skin colour.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *J wmcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

Is it a character from Breir rabbit ? I think he had a cousin called pubic hair......

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I'm not offended "on behalf of black men", which I think is the main thrust of your concern. I'm offended because I think racism is harmful and bad, and I don't want to live in a society where racism is accepted and perpetuated. I'm offended as me, a person, not on behalf of black people. And yes, I believe in social justice - if you don't believe in social justice then it would make sense that you would find a distaste for us "social justice warriors".

QoS/Snowbunny/etc are all part of a wider fetishisation of black men. It's not simply a preference for a skin colour - white women/couples talk about black men as hypersexualised beings - larger penises, more "virile", more aggressive, etc. These are of course untrue (and harmful to any black man that doesn't conform to the stereotype) but are also rooted in the colonial idea of a black man as being "savages" that are "inferior" to white men that can "control their sexual urges".

We've created environments where white women can enjoy the fantasy of sleeping with these "dangerous" people - but it's clear that this same stereotype is why black men are disproportionately likely to be the victim of miscarriages of justice (as well as vigilante justice), likely to be dealt with more brutally by police etc. White women have taken advantage of this countless times now (I would be happy to list sources but I feel like this is common knowledge).

It is, of course, entirely understandable that some black men not only conform to but promote the stereotype (and as I said earlier, I don't blame a black man for taking advantage when racist stereotypes of them play in their favour) - though, for some this is actually just conforming as the price of entry (if most of the women interested in fucking black men also perpetuate this stereotype of them, your choice is either to suck it up or not get laid).

But the reality is that the "harmless" perpetuation of the colonial idea of the black man in the bedroom is clearly and inextricably linked to the harmful perpetuation of the black man in the street, in the bar, or in the office.

Again, people aren't fetishising black men simply for their skin colour."

So you think the terms QOS & SnowBunny are racist?

If so, how? In the sense that many use it in a non offensive manner with men who are absolutely okay with the term(s).

Also, how do you know black men don’t enjoy or don’t mind the terms? Many do, they’re on the forum and they’ll tell you. Or do you believe as you say they’re “conforming” and don’t actually like it?

I’ll be honest, I think you’re desperately trying to come across as “reasonable” and “non racist” with your comments on this thread when it’s actually not needed. I’ve seen it many times, and I always find those who reach like this end up being the most problematic.

I mean it’s a harmless thread by a black man asking if two terms are offensive, it has nothing to do with white women seeing black men as “dangerous” or colonialism. I am shocked that anyone would generalise like this.

I’d love to hear from actual black men on how they view the terms...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I like snow bunny I find queen of spades a bit cringy sometimes but not offensive

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So you think the terms QOS & SnowBunny are racist?

If so, how? In the sense that many use it in a non offensive manner with men who are absolutely okay with the term(s).

Also, how do you know black men don’t enjoy or don’t mind the terms? Many do, they’re on the forum and they’ll tell you. Or do you believe as you say they’re “conforming” and don’t actually like it?

I’ll be honest, I think you’re desperately trying to come across as “reasonable” and “non racist” with your comments on this thread when it’s actually not needed. I’ve seen it many times, and I always find those who reach like this end up being the most problematic.

I mean it’s a harmless thread by a black man asking if two terms are offensive, it has nothing to do with white women seeing black men as “dangerous” or colonialism. I am shocked that anyone would generalise like this.

I’d love to hear from actual black men on how they view the terms..."

Why would it be a bad thing to be reasonable and not racist?

Since you dismiss the views of black men that I've based my views on, I think you only want to hear from black men that agree with you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So you think the terms QOS & SnowBunny are racist?

If so, how? In the sense that many use it in a non offensive manner with men who are absolutely okay with the term(s).

Also, how do you know black men don’t enjoy or don’t mind the terms? Many do, they’re on the forum and they’ll tell you. Or do you believe as you say they’re “conforming” and don’t actually like it?

I’ll be honest, I think you’re desperately trying to come across as “reasonable” and “non racist” with your comments on this thread when it’s actually not needed. I’ve seen it many times, and I always find those who reach like this end up being the most problematic.

I mean it’s a harmless thread by a black man asking if two terms are offensive, it has nothing to do with white women seeing black men as “dangerous” or colonialism. I am shocked that anyone would generalise like this.

I’d love to hear from actual black men on how they view the terms...

Why would it be a bad thing to be reasonable and not racist?

Since you dismiss the views of black men that I've based my views on, I think you only want to hear from black men that agree with you "

It’s not about being “not racist” it’s how you go about it.

Most decent people are anti racist, they don’t need to say so, nor do they need to protest too much. And I feel that’s what you’ve done here.

I actually would love to hear from black men who don’t agree with me, or don’t like the term, simply because I love to hear differing views and their reasons behind them.

Also because this thread is actually about those who the term refers to, which would be black men/white women. So I’d love them to come forward, some have, but the vast majority don’t mind the term one bit.

I’m hoping a black man who doesn’t like the term does post in detail.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

By the way, I don’t dismiss the views of black men from the link you added.

They’re just not on this thread and are talking about a topic as a whole rather than specific words. I also can’t speak to them directly.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s not about being “not racist” it’s how you go about it.

Most decent people are anti racist, they don’t need to say so, nor do they need to protest too much. And I feel that’s what you’ve done here.

I actually would love to hear from black men who don’t agree with me, or don’t like the term, simply because I love to hear differing views and their reasons behind them.

Also because this thread is actually about those who the term refers to, which would be black men/white women. So I’d love them to come forward, some have, but the vast majority don’t mind the term one bit.

I’m hoping a black man who doesn’t like the term does post in detail. "

I would welcome them too, but you are dismissing my argument because of my ethnicity instead of engaging with it as an equal.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s not about being “not racist” it’s how you go about it.

Most decent people are anti racist, they don’t need to say so, nor do they need to protest too much. And I feel that’s what you’ve done here.

I actually would love to hear from black men who don’t agree with me, or don’t like the term, simply because I love to hear differing views and their reasons behind them.

Also because this thread is actually about those who the term refers to, which would be black men/white women. So I’d love them to come forward, some have, but the vast majority don’t mind the term one bit.

I’m hoping a black man who doesn’t like the term does post in detail.

I would welcome them too, but you are dismissing my argument because of my ethnicity instead of engaging with it as an equal."

Equally as I’d expect a gay person to dismiss my argument about homophobia because I’m straight and can’t possibly speak for gay people, or a trans person to dismiss my argument about transphobia because I’m cisgender. An opinion, that’s cool.

And I don’t mean dismiss in a negative context, I just don’t think you as a white male can’t speak on this as a black male can or a white woman who likes black men. I absolutely respect your opinion as I would anyone else, but I’d personally like to hear from those who the term refers to.

That’s just me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Equally as I’d expect a gay person to dismiss my argument about homophobia because I’m straight and can’t possibly speak for gay people, or a trans person to dismiss my argument about transphobia because I’m cisgender. An opinion, that’s cool.

And I don’t mean dismiss in a negative context, I just don’t think you as a white male can’t speak on this as a black male can or a white woman who likes black men. I absolutely respect your opinion as I would anyone else, but I’d personally like to hear from those who the term refers to.

That’s just me. "

But again, we circle back to: this isn't about speaking "on behalf of" anyone. It would be a ridiculous argument to say that only people affected by racism can argue against it (and actually, one regularly made by racists to silence anti-racism efforts).

What I have done is bring in voices and perspectives from outside of the swinging community, and explained why - through self-selection - those voices and perspectives wouldn't be reflected within it. These are my arguments, INFORMED by other people but not on behalf of them.

Your argument is that this should be dismissed because I'm a white man. But these voices and perspectives are from black people, and the arguments I make are logical and based in facts. You also miss the perspective I have, as a white man, on how black people are seen within many white communities. You posit that most people are anti-racist, but it's clear to me that this is a naive position to take - even if you just stick to these forums, it's clear that a lot of people are passively racist and a loud minority are actively racist (an unfortunate mirroring of wider society). Consider the popular narrative even during this pandemic, of how the cities are suffering from high rates of COVID-19 "because of the black people" - a popular meme amongst white communities especially outside of the big cities.

But okay, let's try an experiment: pretend a black man also made those arguments, and then engage them on their merits instead of the skin colour of the person that made them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/10/20 14:20:33]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had 2 friends I had to disassociate myself with...

One was a Vegan, and whenever she was invited to a social gathering.. She would go out of her way to tell everyone bad things about what they were eating...

The second one was always trying to get everyone to sign up for his company to sell vitamins... a MLM pitchman

When both of these friends contacted me to find out why we booted them out of our social circles.. I had to inform them that they were being inappropriate at these events...

There is a time and place for everything....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Equally as I’d expect a gay person to dismiss my argument about homophobia because I’m straight and can’t possibly speak for gay people, or a trans person to dismiss my argument about transphobia because I’m cisgender. An opinion, that’s cool.

And I don’t mean dismiss in a negative context, I just don’t think you as a white male can’t speak on this as a black male can or a white woman who likes black men. I absolutely respect your opinion as I would anyone else, but I’d personally like to hear from those who the term refers to.

That’s just me.

But again, we circle back to: this isn't about speaking "on behalf of" anyone. It would be a ridiculous argument to say that only people affected by racism can argue against it (and actually, one regularly made by racists to silence anti-racism efforts).

What I have done is bring in voices and perspectives from outside of the swinging community, and explained why - through self-selection - those voices and perspectives wouldn't be reflected within it. These are my arguments, INFORMED by other people but not on behalf of them.

Your argument is that this should be dismissed because I'm a white man. But these voices and perspectives are from black people, and the arguments I make are logical and based in facts. You also miss the perspective I have, as a white man, on how black people are seen within many white communities. You posit that most people are anti-racist, but it's clear to me that this is a naive position to take - even if you just stick to these forums, it's clear that a lot of people are passively racist and a loud minority are actively racist (an unfortunate mirroring of wider society). Consider the popular narrative even during this pandemic, of how the cities are suffering from high rates of COVID-19 "because of the black people" - a popular meme amongst white communities especially outside of the big cities.

But okay, let's try an experiment: pretend a black man also made those arguments, and then engage them on their merits instead of the skin colour of the person that made them."

I’m a black man that meets with 2 non white couples... One is a black couple, the other couple is a black male and Hispanic female....

Both wives just like playing with me because I’m bigger and thick than their husbands....

Now with your logic I should be offended because these couples only want me because I’m black with a big cock and by meeting me they are fetishizing me..,..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m a black man that meets with 2 non white couples... One is a black couple, the other couple is a black male and Hispanic female....

Both wives just like playing with me because I’m bigger and thick than their husbands....

Now with your logic I should be offended because these couples only want me because I’m black with a big cock and by meeting me they are fetishizing me..,.."

I mean, I'm not telling you that you should be offended at all - I specifically addressed that earlier.

But by your description they're not fetishising you based on your ethnicity. You may or may not enjoy being fetishised for having a bigger dick (and you clearly do, and that's fine) but that fetish isn't rooted in racist ideas black people are also oppressed using. People consenting to themselves being fetishised isn't really harmful IMO.

My point is that specifically fetishising black men as hypersexualised is rooted in racism. Saying that YOU have a big dick and are aggressive etc is one thing, but believing that all black men (or all "real" black men) have a big dick, are aggressive etc is racist - and also harms black men, as we see regularly in the news.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Equally as I’d expect a gay person to dismiss my argument about homophobia because I’m straight and can’t possibly speak for gay people, or a trans person to dismiss my argument about transphobia because I’m cisgender. An opinion, that’s cool.

And I don’t mean dismiss in a negative context, I just don’t think you as a white male can’t speak on this as a black male can or a white woman who likes black men. I absolutely respect your opinion as I would anyone else, but I’d personally like to hear from those who the term refers to.

That’s just me.

But again, we circle back to: this isn't about speaking "on behalf of" anyone. It would be a ridiculous argument to say that only people affected by racism can argue against it (and actually, one regularly made by racists to silence anti-racism efforts).

What I have done is bring in voices and perspectives from outside of the swinging community, and explained why - through self-selection - those voices and perspectives wouldn't be reflected within it. These are my arguments, INFORMED by other people but not on behalf of them.

Your argument is that this should be dismissed because I'm a white man. But these voices and perspectives are from black people, and the arguments I make are logical and based in facts. You also miss the perspective I have, as a white man, on how black people are seen within many white communities. You posit that most people are anti-racist, but it's clear to me that this is a naive position to take - even if you just stick to these forums, it's clear that a lot of people are passively racist and a loud minority are actively racist (an unfortunate mirroring of wider society). Consider the popular narrative even during this pandemic, of how the cities are suffering from high rates of COVID-19 "because of the black people" - a popular meme amongst white communities especially outside of the big cities.

But okay, let's try an experiment: pretend a black man also made those arguments, and then engage them on their merits instead of the skin colour of the person that made them."

Again, as I said, it’s okay having an opinion and being against racism for example.

But this isn’t it, this is two terms used by white women/black men that you’re arguing against, it doesn’t directly affect you, hence why I don’t think you’re in a position to speak on it.

By all means state your views. But in my eyes your view is just your view and isn’t one I would take into consideration in regards to the terms QOS & SnowBunny.

I don’t believe this is the relevant topic to have the debate you’re trying to have, why not start your own thread in regards to the issues in white communities that you feel need addressing?

Surely if what you say is actually the case it deserves its own thread and not to be buried in someone else’s about sexual terms to describe white women who like black men.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

but believing that all black men (or all "real" black men) have a big dick, are aggressive etc is racist - and also harms black men, as we see regularly in the news."

Who is believing that on this thread?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ithintemptationsCouple
over a year ago

plymouth

Not at all offended...,if people are offended by man made words and there man made meanings, they need too have a word with themselves.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

but believing that all black men (or all "real" black men) have a big dick, are aggressive etc is racist - and also harms black men, as we see regularly in the news.

Who is believing that on this thread?

"

Why do you think people put QoS tattoos on themselves, and fetishise black men? Were you under the misapprehension that the whole kink is based around skin colour?

You want to separate things that are inseparable. I understand your view but I think it's very naive - and I find it fascinating that you keep engaging with my points if you're convinced that my view should be dismissed.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to really get my arse in a knot about all the racially derived sexually spun terms on here and in porn.

Between people vehemently defending such terms and people vehemently opposing such terms and the few in the middle who dont know or dont care, I’ve taken the stance of each to their own.

If a white lady is fully aware of what the terms QoS and Snowbunny means and wants to revel in it then kudos to her. If a black man want to revel in the bbc title then more power to him.

As for me, I can only mind my own business, so if you come to me, with all the racial fetishisation masquerading as preference, I will be encouraging you to take a long walk off a short pier. Thats just me...each to their own as I said.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

What's a snowbunny?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oriarty99Man
over a year ago

London


"Both are terms for women who are mostly into BBC

I'm partial to both.. I mean there are some splendid dramas on ITV also. "

That hasn’t been said before

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

but believing that all black men (or all "real" black men) have a big dick, are aggressive etc is racist - and also harms black men, as we see regularly in the news.

Who is believing that on this thread?

Why do you think people put QoS tattoos on themselves, and fetishise black men? Were you under the misapprehension that the whole kink is based around skin colour?

You want to separate things that are inseparable. I understand your view but I think it's very naive - and I find it fascinating that you keep engaging with my points if you're convinced that my view should be dismissed."

What’s fascinating about wanting to engage with those who you may disagree with?

It’s how people grow and gain knowledge on thing they probably wouldn’t have before, it also leads to an open mind. I’m genuinely interested in others views regardless of whether I agree or not, but I understand you’re not interested in engaging so I’ll leave you to it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I used to really get my arse in a knot about all the racially derived sexually spun terms on here and in porn.

Between people vehemently defending such terms and people vehemently opposing such terms and the few in the middle who dont know or dont care, I’ve taken the stance of each to their own.

If a white lady is fully aware of what the terms QoS and Snowbunny means and wants to revel in it then kudos to her. If a black man want to revel in the bbc title then more power to him.

As for me, I can only mind my own business, so if you come to me, with all the racial fetishisation masquerading as preference, I will be encouraging you to take a long walk off a short pier. Thats just me...each to their own as I said. "

I like this response!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What’s fascinating about wanting to engage with those who you may disagree with?

It’s how people grow and gain knowledge on thing they probably wouldn’t have before, it also leads to an open mind. I’m genuinely interested in others views regardless of whether I agree or not, but I understand you’re not interested in engaging so I’ll leave you to it. "

You're specifically engaging to dismiss my arguments based on my ethnicity, instead of engaging with the arguments I'm making.

I truly do think we can grow and gain knowledge by engaging with people we disagree with. If you short-circuit it like you are then you're just attempting to win on a technicality.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *dores blackmenWoman
over a year ago

incognito mode ;-)

No I don't find the terms offensive,I am in the interracial swinging scene,so the terms are used by some and not others,I am known in the scene as a bbw,something I don't find offensive either,however some do

I do have qos temporary tattoo's I've worn them for men on meets,who like them, my profile is showing pics wearing the tatoo's,when I'm meeting,so usually they ask if like them,otherwise I don't mention it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you find the term or terms show bunnies or queen of spades offensive?"

Get called all kinds of names not really bothered. I like what I like. My choice

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Very interesting point of views. Now watching some of the more recent comments on this thread.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *BC StitchMan
over a year ago

London

Its a reference of a preference that a logical person would either associate with or decline. To be offended is well... I’m not sure their okay logically or just took it the wrong way.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hloevtTV/TS
over a year ago

norwich

I'm an old fart and I have been on the swinging scene for a rather long time, but until now I had never heard the term snowbunny !! I think it's so cute x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe


"No I don't find the terms offensive,I am in the interracial swinging scene,so the terms are used by some and not others,I am known in the scene as a bbw,something I don't find offensive either,however some do

I do have qos temporary tattoo's I've worn them for men on meets,who like them, my profile is showing pics wearing the tatoo's,when I'm meeting,so usually they ask if like them,otherwise I don't mention it"

Our exact approach.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *issyfaggotfayeTV/TS
over a year ago

Bolton

As a gurl who likes bbc, qhy qould I be offended by it? Am I offended by the term Sissy? No. I choose to be labelled that word, because that is the language used in these circles

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well shit! I thought someone who loves the snow was a snowbunny! Iv legit been refering to myself as one for years! oops!!

S

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wonder what the responce would be if us white women ( snow bunnies) were to use something that is slang us whites use to describe black men. Just a thought "

Many do by using BBC which offends some but others love it. It is their prerogative of course but they don’t need other people to tell them what they should and shouldn’t be offended by. Live and let live I say.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *pertureTV/TS
over a year ago

New Ferry, wirral in stockings and sussies

not me though some may

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Race based play is a turn off for me. I don’t care if someone’s black, white, green! I like to focus on the person and the naughtiness. I’d never fuck someone just because of the colour of their skin. It’s just to basic for me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you find the term or terms show bunnies or queen of spades offensive?"

I googled show bunnies and they are such cute little creatures, I would love at attend their show. Hate these dissing labels. Tasmin

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally i love being called a snowbunny when I'm being fucked by a gorgeous, hunky dark skinned gent and hubby is watching

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ithintemptationsCouple
over a year ago

plymouth

no why would you?, they are only words

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ddfellowMan
over a year ago

new ferry, wirral

Some people seem to go out of their way to find somethings offensive, not many things offend me, but then I am a rational person.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

Sexuallity is often a hot potato because often kinks and desire are mixed with taboos. Not just fetish on race, but age, power, consent and many more things. I find it a difficult ethical battle as you ballance people's sexual fantasies and desires against everyday world.

But for me the sexual domain is not the real world. Its a space, a playground were we can play and explore our fantasies and desires. Because often these are at odds with our values in the real world. Providing they are legal, safe and consensual to all parties involved.

So we need to be careful IMO to protect people's right to have their desires and fetish. We shouldn't be out there making people feel bad or guilty for the content of their brains sexual desires. We need to be able to detach sexual world fetish from where that fetish would be problematic in the real world. I think (especially in the current real world climate) people struggle to detach the two worlds.

So you may find other people's fetish and desire offensive, that understandable. You may have a fetish yourself that others are offended by. But realise sexual fantasy is often at odds with the real world. Leave people be to enjoy their fantisies and fetish without judgment and concentrate tackling the source of your offence in the real world instead.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Both are terms for women who are mostly into BBC

I'm partial to both.. I mean there are some splendid dramas on ITV also. "
. ??????????????????????

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

Guess everyone can find different terms offensive...

I personally love it when my black lover refers to me as his "Snowbunny"

Meeting him again this evening so he can cuck hubby and make me his once again, as always very excited!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top